Continuing Jokes Thread

[Hyper.Intelligent.Fish]

A horse walks into a bar.
The bartender says to the horse "Why the long face?"
The horse says "I'm a Port Adelaide Power supporter."
The bartender reaches under the bar, pulls out a .22 and shoots the horse dead.
One of the barflies turns to the bartender and says "What did you do that for?"
The bartender says "That horse was horribly lame."

 

[Hangover68]

Sarcasm font was lost in the text..

No i got it but could be read either way.

 

[Grmblz]

Government is appealing to anyone that's been on benefits for more than 4 years to volunteer as advisers, to those trying to access centerlink on how to operate the system, and for those self isolating, how to stay home and do **** all.

 

[wide eyed and legless]

Sat on the end of the bed pulling off my boxers, the wife said, ' You spoil them dogs'.

 

[Grmblz]

My nurse.

 

[DU99]

A hotel guest calls the front desk and the clerk answers "May I help you?" The man says "Yes, I'm in room 858. You need to send someone to my room immediately. I'm having an argument with my wife and she says she's going to jump out the window". The desk clerk says "I'm sorry sir, but that's a personal matter". The man replies "Listen you idiot. The window won't open... and that's a maintenance matter".

 

[Grmblz]

Mental giant

 

[Chods1]

HAHAHA. He's a beaut!

 

[Grmblz]

The biggest joke is his power base wouldn't understand it.

 

[Chods1]

Too true Grmblz

 

[nanuk]

Your TDS is showing!

 

[Chods1]

What is TDS?

 

[Grmblz]

Total dissolved salts, not sure what it has to do with the joke though.

 

[nanuk]

Trump derangement syndrome

It is amazing how he can make the loony left, and Alt-left, totally insane.

 

[Malted Mick]

Mental giant

Donald's latest reply to Angela! What’s wrong with you? Obviously, you don't not understand the subtleties of sarcasm.

 

[yankinoz]

Mental giant

I am so deeply offended that I'm sending the pic on to all me mates in the states, so they can be offended too.

 

[Grmblz]

I am so deeply offended that I'm sending the pic on to all me mates in the states, so they can be offended too.

Too late mate, I sent it to a mate in Sand point (Idaho) like Corona it's probably spread to much of the US already.

 

[Chods1]

I am so deeply offended that I'm sending the pic on to all me mates in the states, so they can be offended too.

Goodo. God move.

 

[Grmblz]

I am so deeply offended that I'm sending the pic on to all me mates in the states, so they can be offended too.

Mmmm, just had a thought, we're sitting dumb fat and happy here in Oz, I'm a pominoz and have family in the Uk dealing with the results of stupidly moronic leadership similar to, although not on such a monumentous fktardiness scale as the US, so all jokes aside yank hope yours are travelling well and safe. Cheers G

 

[Chods1]

Mmmm, just had a thought, we're sitting dumb fat and happy here in Oz, I'm a pominoz and have family in the Uk dealing with the results of stupidly moronic leadership similar to, although not on such a monumentous fktardiness scale as the US, so all jokes aside yank hope yours are travelling well and safe. Cheers G

Yes sobering thoughts. I care for my cousins in the US as well.