Continuing Jokes Thread

[wide eyed and legless]

My girlfriend seems to think I'm a stalker........ well shes not my girlfriend yet.
When I told my psychiatrist I've been hearing voices in my head she told me I don't have a psychiatrist.

 

[Grmblz]

I want my Brian, but I don't belong to the Morans.

 

[Woong]

 

[wide eyed and legless]

A dyslexic, agnostic insomniac lays awake all night wondering if there really is a dog.

 

[thehomebrewchef]

I hate Russian Dolls,

always so full of themselves....

 

[Woong]

 

[Woong]

 

[darrenhayes]

https://aussiehomebrewer.com/threads/my-family-car-stickers.51778/page-3#post-734247

 

[Woong]

 

[wide eyed and legless]

 

[Chods1]

Haha that's so good.

 

[Chods1]

https://aussiehomebrewer.com/threads/my-family-car-stickers.51778/page-3#post-734247

It's a suburban wannabe ute drivin cowboy look

 

[Woong]

 

[Grmblz]

The three rings of life:
1: engagement
2: wedding
3: suffer

 

[JDW81]

A door-to-door salesman knocks on the door of a modest suburban house, and the door is answered by a 5 year old boy who’s holding a balloon of brandy in one hand, and a large Cuban cigar in the other. The salesman, looking surprised, says “hello little boy, are your parents at home”, to which the little boy replies (after taking a sip of brandy and a puff of the cigar) “what the heck do you think”?

 

[thehomebrewchef]

 

[butisitart]

i'm irish, so i can do this one (for those who understandably don't appreciate ethnist jokes) .....

this irishman walks out of a bar,

 

[philrob]

this irishman walks out of a bar,

You're lying.....

 

[JDW81]

I hope all all naughty swear words written in posts (even if most of the letters are replaced with *&$@) are going to be replaced with heck from now on.

 

[Froffies and coffees]

Worth a watch.
Warning coarse language.