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Continuing Jokes Thread

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DU99

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Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him
“Rover” or “Boy.”
I call mine “Sex.”

Now, Sex has been very
embarrassing to me.

When I went to the City Hall to renew his dog license,
I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex.
He said, “I’d like to have one too.”
Then I said, “You don’t understand. I’ve had Sex since I was nine years old.”
He said, “You must have been quite a kid!”

When I got married and went on my honeymoon,
I took the dog with me. I told the hotel clerk that I wanted a
room for my wife and me, and a special room for Sex.
He said, “Every room in the place is for sex.”
I said, “You don’t understand. Sex keeps me awake at night.”
The clerk said, “Me too.”

One day I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began,
the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just
looking around. I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest.
He told me that I should have sold tickets.
“But you don’t understand,” I said, “I had hoped to have Sex on T.V.”
He called me a show-off.

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for
custody of the dog. I said, “Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married.”
The judge said, “Me too.”
Then I told him that after I was married, Sex left me.
He said, “Me too.”

Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around
town for him. A cop came over to me and asked,
“What are you doing in the alley at 4 o’clock in the morning?”
I said, “I’m looking for Sex.”

My case comes up Friday.
 

thehomebrewchef

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A man's walking home late at night when he sees a woman in the shadows. "Twenty bucks," she says.

He's never been with a prostitute before, but he decides what the hell.

They are going at it for a minute when all of a sudden a light flashes on them - it's a policeman.

"What's going on here, people?" asks the officer.

"I'm making love to my wife," the man answers indignantly.

"Oh, I'm sorry," says the cop, "I didn't know."

"Well," said the man, "to tell the truth neither did I until you flashed that light on her face."
 

Grmblz

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That's because you've been a very, very, naughty boy 🤣
Barred from sponsors threads I get, HELLO! KegLand, but The Lounge in general???
Send the mod's a PM?
Or is it Trumps slender tendrils weaving their way through Australian brewing society, and disrupting the space time continuum. :eek:
 

GrumpyPaul

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This seems like the only thread I can post in, insufficient privileges?
I can't see anything in your profile that would block you from all threads except this one.

My understanding is that it is done on a specific thread.

I'll check with @AHB_Admin when I can for you. She is much more powerful than us mere mortal mods
 

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