Domestic Violence

[Black Devil Dog]

Men don't hit women!

Those words are the exact words my dad growled at me, when, as a 15 year old, I hit my sister during an argument. He was holding me by the ear when he said it and he stood about 6ft tall, so he certainly had my attention.

He only needed to tell me once and I'll live my life by those words until I die.


Sadly, over the last couple of weeks we have seen some of the most despicable and unimaginably horrifying acts of brutality on women and children, committed by men.
Men who were at some stage, loving partners, husbands, fathers and protectors.

Nearly every day we hear stories of violence committed against women and children by men and it has got to stop.

The statistics are shameful. As adult men, we need to tell our sons that violence against women and children is not acceptable.


There is a high likelihood that there are men on this site who are violent against their loved ones.

If you are violent against your family. Stop now.

If you can't stop. Click here to get help.

If you know someone who is violent in their relationship. Tell them it's not acceptable.

If you have a son. Tell them, men don't hit women.

 

[manticle]

People shouldn't hit people, full stop.

Not disagreeing because I agree fully with the sentiment. Domestic violence is more prevalent in hetero relationships with men as perpetrator but it exists in gay/lesbian relationships (either type) and occasionally with women as perpetrators in hetero.
None of it is acceptable. Keep your hands to yourself.

 

[dammag]

I think it's more than men don't hit women (I too was taught to respect women, which was obviously more than just not hitting them).

I don't believe that a normal, healthy person would hurt another person, man or woman. These guys obviously have problems where they want to cause as much damage as possible to those associated with them and then end their own pain. They want others to share their own pain. These are no "normal" act of domestic violence. They are murder, suicides. Albeit, in the public eye.

 

[Reedy]

Men don't hit women!

+1 although it would be my mother I'd more afraid of than my father based on what she'd threatened to do to her 3 sons if we ever raised a hand to our wives!

 

[mosto]

I have three boys. I try to instill in them it's not acceptable to abuse anyone, physically, emotionally etc, regardless of gender. My only exception is if they're physically in danger and there's no other option, do what you have to do to protect yourself. We're expecting our first girl next month. I'll be teaching her exactly the same thing.

 

[Dan Dan]

It's sad that we even have to say this.

 

[real_beer]

Human beings are:

The most beautiful thing on the planet, and the most evil thing on the planet.

I respect all life and I'm not scared of spiders, snakes, lions, and sharks etc. But the darkness of a human mind in action scares the shit out of me.

Just do the best you can each day in the world you travel through doing little random acts of kindness when the opportunity arises, believe me you can really help make the world a better place. :icon_cheers:

 

[Dave70]

Lets also rail against men hitting men and downplaying it as 'within context' or 'In the heat of the moment'. If I drag a fellow motorist from his car and punch his jaw loose because he run into the back of me at a stop sign I'll be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. When the smart phone footage inevitably is replayed on the Today Tonight, people viewers will be aghast at the violence.
Conversely, if at footy on the weekend I take umbrage to being roughed up in a tackle and decide to smack an opposition player in the mouth after the play the ball, what? Sent off for ten? Face the judiciary? No doubt I'll make a you tube 'best of' compilation thats for sure. On things for sure, i wont be escorted from the field in handcuffs by the police. Think of the message being sent, particular to the impressionable younger minds in the crowd, chaperoned no doubt by many fathers with the 'bring back the biff' mentality.

I'm certainly not the first to notice this.

I had heated discussion with a mate who couldn't draw a distinction between the controlled violence of MMA, of which I'm a supporter, and the sheer loss of self control driven violence we see in other sports.
In his view I was a hypocrite. Basically two sides of the same coin in his view. And he's not alone.

 

[MastersBrewery]

Domestic violence gents doesn't begin and end with physical assault. Probably worse is the unseen domestic violence of bullying and control. Threatening to kick some one out of the house is an act of domestic violence, withholding finances, controlling social interactions, denying contact with children. At any point if some one is trying to control another freedom of choice in any matter and they live together it's domestic violence.
Now 60 years ago if the police turned up to a DV incident the cops would be asking the poor beat up wife why she provoked her husband and advised next time she had better have dinner on the table when he got home from the pub. The social pendulum has swung, and whilst DV is portrait as a crime committed by males it's not always the case. My ex has a blackbelt in taekwondo, and believe me police could care if a bloke has a few cuts and bruises, other way around and I would have been whistling tunes in a cell.
Right now there would be very few people who would allow a school or any other person to administer corporeal punishment on their own children, and it has all but vanished from schools, because this happen to my generation and the one before and we said we're not having our kids go through that.
All relationships are a compromise, some times you have to sit with stuff you don't like or that bugs the hell out of you, you pick and choose what is important enough to stand for, forcing someone to accept your way is not only DV but the sun setting on the love and trust relationships are built on.

 

[Blind Dog]

There's a world of difference (IMO) between two consenting adults with appropriate training and skill levels facing each other in a controlled environment and unchecked thuggery whether it happens on the street, in the home or on the sports field. Never have and never will understand why the law of the land seems to end at the edge of a sports field.

 

[pcmfisher]

Its all very well to say that nobody should not hit each other, but if it ever arose that my daughter / sister / friend had been hit by their partner, the scum would get one warning and if it happened again, well, lets say it wouldn't happen after that.

 

[Weizguy]

Black Devil dog, you said "Men who were at some stage, loving partners, husbands, fathers and protectors". I disagree, as some blokes have been cnuts from the outset and even though it's been generational, there's still no excuse. Just because Dad beat the snot out of Mum, most nights for years, now I should have the same respect for my wife, and keep her in line and well-controlled, just waiting for an excuse. She knew what she was getting into, as I beat her often during our courting period, etc...

As for women beating guys up, I have familial experience, and I'm sure that he defended himself, and it was always an even match, but only one could get away with leaving visible marks... The police got to know them quickly, even after they moved house a few times.

Controlling partners? Don't get me started.

 

[HBHB]

20+ years of tending to broken wives, kids and husbands because some arse wipe didn't feel sufficiently strong enough to vent their anger/frustration/drug/substance fuelled rage or just plain shitty inhumane attitude elsewhere.

Must say there was a hell of a lot of battered husbands along the way with unexplained injuries.....just not to the same extent of battered wives.

The thing about a bloke who will lift a hand to harm a woman.....they're not really men. Scum, yes - men, definitely not. Being taught to do it by shitty role model for a father figure isn't a reason to do what you know is just plain wrong. It's just another bullshit excuse to cop out at someone else's expense.

Man Up

 

[Gelding]

Men don't hit women!

Those words are the exact words my dad growled at me, when, as a 15 year old, I hit my sister during an argument. He was holding me by the ear when he said it and he stood about 6ft tall, so he certainly had my attention.

He only needed to tell me once and I'll live my life by those words until I die.


Sadly, over the last couple of weeks we have seen some of the most despicable and unimaginably horrifying acts of brutality on women and children, committed by men.
Men who were at some stage, loving partners, husbands, fathers and protectors.

Nearly every day we hear stories of violence committed against women and children by men and it has got to stop.

The statistics are shameful. As adult men, we need to tell our sons that violence against women and children is not acceptable.


There is a high likelihood that there are men on this site who are violent against their loved ones.

If you are violent against your family. Stop now.

If you can't stop. Click here to get help.

If you know someone who is violent in their relationship. Tell them it's not acceptable.

If you have a son. Tell them, men don't hit women.

Fair enough but is it ok for men to hit men ?

I think we are too heavily influenced by what we see in the movies.

 

[seamad]

Timely article in todays Guardian
http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/sep/11/most-people-dont-get-domestic-violence-because-it-doesnt-make-sense

 

[madpierre06]

It's a complex and ******* of an issue that in most cases can't be addressed via a 'man it up'. There are those who learn that this is how you do relationships by what they see growing up. There vare those who need to control all areas of life, those who are just violent in how they do life, and all points and shades of grey in between, and those who are just BAD!!

Having said that, most perpetrators are at some stage going to be made aware that their actions are unacceptable, and then they do have a choice to do something about it. For some, this can be a relatively simple process, for others not so as they have no idea how to live life any other way as they've never known any other way. This is a 'whole of society' problem, and requires a solution based around this. The trouble is, our society has been drifting/shaped towards a completely self-centred way of living. There has been more and more insecurity introduced into families due to our govts over the years completely dismantling job and housing security. Numerous other contributors to this blight on our society abound.

There are solutions which are not necessarily palatable to some, but if willing to try the results cvan be astounding and families restored. It depends how deeply the instincts driving the actions are rooted as to how quickly success can be achieved.

But at end of the day, it all comes back to the individual. If he/she is willing to sort it out....there is always an answer.

 

[JDW81]

And when influential organisations have an opportunity to make an example out of a public figure who has been charged with domestic violence and has an AVO taken out against them (which has been breached), to show that it is unacceptable they are found wanting. Why? Because it is football finals and winning counts for more than anything.

JD

 

[madpierre06]

Thing is, this particular organisation is nothing to do with sport...it is simply a means to generate corporate dollars, so there is no room for real principled action. Just look at any fully professional 'sporting' organisation, draws are compromised and weighted to suit particular (bigger drawing/paying) teams, cover ups, etc...so it is no surprise that they would pull sleight of hand with things like this. And the chooks do have great influence at HQ.

And the NRL allowed two blokes who threatened a ref at a junior comp to get off with 6 week suspensions and a fine and community service. They are no nearer integrity than an integrity-less anti integrity campaigner.

 

[Black Devil Dog]

Sadly, this despicable behaviour continues to happen.

It's ugly to hear about, it would be uglier to be on the receiving end, but the ugliest of all, is the perpetrator.

Thankfully, one of the first things Turnbull is doing, is taking action on this scourge.

There is only one acceptable outcome, domestic violence must stop.

 

[wereprawn]

A lot of it lately is fuckwits off their guts on ice. Quite a few of the fatal attacks seem to be by blokes who look like they're on the roids too. Particularly dangerous combo. The women had no chance .