Continuing Jokes Thread

[mischa6262]

Would make a good name for a beer.

Eg, Penultimate Lager - you always have one more to go.

from the english comedy show bottom (if anyone knows it) Aid makes his uncles famous brew called "weapons grade lager" it completely ***** your mind, one sip and you forget the previous 24hours

 

[Feldon]

 

[JDW81]

View attachment 121012

My wife used to work as a proof-reader and copywriter for a magazine. She had a framed picture of this on her desk. Used to get quite a few chuckles.

 

[Grmblz]

My wife just said
"You aren't even listening are you?"

I thought
"that's a strange way to start a conversation"

 

[chrisfromperth]

Ridiculous - my wife said that I don't give her enough privacy.
Well, that's what she wrote in her diary.

 

[Feldon]

Found this in an overland travel company's internal staff newsletter from 1976.

 

[Grmblz]

 

[Feldon]

The Guv shows how the existence of bacon proves the existence of God.

 

[Feldon]

Dominic Frisby with the Twelve Drunk Days of Christmas.

Stick with it. Friggin' hilarious.

Bump for Christmas 2021.
(and just as funny as last year)

 

[Feldon]

Vintage brilliance from Peter Cook and Dudley Moore.

 

[Feldon]

... and a contemporary take on the same theme - the Corona Virus Steeplechase:

 

[Eddy Monsoon]

I had a donut at the Zoo yesterday

 

[Eddy Monsoon]

I had a donut at the Zoo yesterday

It was bread in captivity

 

[Grmblz]

Valid message

 

[MHB]

If you havent seen it before
Homeopathic A&E
Funny how well it stands up.
Mark

 

[Paddy Melon]

Awkward.
Wife: _ Going out for dinner with the crew to celebrate the boss's birthday.
Husband:_ send a pic of the meal.

 

[Paddy Melon]

Ah the Irish.

 

[Feldon]

View attachment 121436

More Sir Les Patterson...

 

[Feldon]

And a bit more of Peter Cook in 'The Great Train Robbery' playing a typically obtuse and contrarian copper.

 

[yankinoz]

Very old New Jersey joke:

An elderly Jewish guy and an Asian guy were seated next to each other on a flight out of New York..

J: "I'm Saul Goldberg."
A: "I'm Kim Song."
J: "So, vere you come from?"
A: "Korea."
Long pause, then J: "I just want you to know I don't blame you for bombing Pearl Harbour."
A: "Get your facts straight. Japanese did that."
J: "Japanese, Chinese, Korean, vat's the difference?"
Long pause. A: "Good, then I won't blame you for sinking the Titanic."
J: "Vat are you, meshuggah? An iceberg did that."
A: "Iceberg, Goldberg, Rosenberg, vat's the difference?"