Continuing Jokes Thread

[mischa6262]

Would make a good name for a beer.

Eg, Penultimate Lager - you always have one more to go.

from the english comedy show bottom (if anyone knows it) Aid makes his uncles famous brew called "weapons grade lager" it completely fucks your mind, one sip and you forget the previous 24hours

 

[Feldon]

 

[JDW81]

View attachment 121012

My wife used to work as a proof-reader and copywriter for a magazine. She had a framed picture of this on her desk. Used to get quite a few chuckles.

 

[Grmblz]

My wife just said
"You aren't even listening are you?"

I thought
"that's a strange way to start a conversation"

 

[chrisfromperth]

Ridiculous - my wife said that I don't give her enough privacy.
Well, that's what she wrote in her diary.

 

[Feldon]

Found this in an overland travel company's internal staff newsletter from 1976.

 

[Grmblz]

 

[Feldon]

The Guv shows how the existence of bacon proves the existence of God.

 

[Feldon]

Dominic Frisby with the Twelve Drunk Days of Christmas.

Stick with it. Friggin' hilarious.

Bump for Christmas 2021.
(and just as funny as last year)

 

[Feldon]

Vintage brilliance from Peter Cook and Dudley Moore.

 

[Feldon]

... and a contemporary take on the same theme - the Corona Virus Steeplechase:

 

[Eddy Monsoon]

I had a donut at the Zoo yesterday

 

[Eddy Monsoon]

I had a donut at the Zoo yesterday

It was bread in captivity

 

[Grmblz]

Valid message

 

[MHB]

If you havent seen it before
Homeopathic A&E
Funny how well it stands up.
Mark

 

[Paddy Melon]

Awkward.
Wife: _ Going out for dinner with the crew to celebrate the boss's birthday.
Husband:_ send a pic of the meal.

 

[Paddy Melon]

Ah the Irish.

 

[Feldon]

View attachment 121436

More Sir Les Patterson...

 

[Feldon]

And a bit more of Peter Cook in 'The Great Train Robbery' playing a typically obtuse and contrarian copper.

 

[yankinoz]

Very old New Jersey joke:

An elderly Jewish guy and an Asian guy were seated next to each other on a flight out of New York..

J: "I'm Saul Goldberg."
A: "I'm Kim Song."
J: "So, vere you come from?"
A: "Korea."
Long pause, then J: "I just want you to know I don't blame you for bombing Pearl Harbour."
A: "Get your facts straight. Japanese did that."
J: "Japanese, Chinese, Korean, vat's the difference?"
Long pause. A: "Good, then I won't blame you for sinking the Titanic."
J: "Vat are you, meshuggah? An iceberg did that."
A: "Iceberg, Goldberg, Rosenberg, vat's the difference?"