Hi Airgread,
I'm no expert on mead, I'm simply passing on what seems to be the agreed best practise for Mead making (mainly in the US). So I guess I should qualify some of my statments.
I agree with you that yeast need nutrients at the start which is why I use Go-Ferm which gives the yeast everything it needs to make a strong start but doesn't include DAP. DAP can prove toxic to rehydrating yeast and can cause more damage than good. Read more here:
http://www.gotmead.com/forum/showthread.php?t=13600 some of the members on Got mead like PBakulic (oskaar) and Wayneb are VERY experienced mead makers (and quite famous in these circles). I use their methods and recomendations which are built upon good research and experience. By the way, this is also the process recomened by Lallemand who make the yeast and nutrient I use, and supply ALOT of yeast and nutrient to the wine industry (take a read on their site).
As for mead starters without any nutrient, this is an area I don't have any experience with. However I am just repeating the general knwledge from very experienced mead makers. Do a search on the gotmead website for more info (I'll try and find the info I've read and post it tomorrow). The reason I have no experience with starters is because I used dried wine yeasts from lalemand. If rehydrated with G-Ferm its really not nessesary to make a starter unless you going for huge SG around 1.200 or more.
I totally agree that you don't want to aerate
once the yeast have gone annerobic. This is why you stop aerating at the 1/3 sugar break (like I said). It is around this point that research has proven that the yeast makes the change from aerobic to anerobic. Before the 1/3 sugar break the yeast is in the reproduction phase and needs the O2. The oxygen your giving them creates a strong cell wall so they can complete the task without falling out prematurely. Many accomplished mead makers reccomend aerating twice a day until the 1/3 sugar break. Usually this is ends up being only for the first few days. After this you avoid oxegen like the plague! You're absolutly right that it is quite easy to oxidise mead.
Also you might want to read more into agetating the must. Most commercial mead makers employ a lees stirrer to keep the yeast in suspension for primary fermentation. All these things, nutrients, aeration and agitation help create a quick and clean fermentation.
There has been tremendous advancments in the science/knowledge of mead making over the last 10 or so years. And although its best to compare mead making to wine making (rather than beer making), they don't follow the same process.
Anyways, its getting late and I've ranted enough.
Dave
PS. The only reason I mentioned my (somewhat failed) first mead was to encourage first time mead makers not to expect a perfect result first time. I agree there were many problems with my first mead. My yeast choice was poor, my nurient shedule was not great, but I think most importantly my aeration was not good after day 1.