Australia & New Zealand Homebrewing Forum

Help Support Australia & New Zealand Homebrewing Forum:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.


Well-Known Member
Reaction score
Waiting..., watching.....
I've just made my first brew after being out of the game for over a decade. Previously, I'd only ever brewed with extract but played around with sugars/malts and hops. I figured that just to get my legs back under me I'd do a simple extract brew to kick things off with the eventual (which means over the course of a few years) aim of full mash, kegging, etc.

However, excitement got the better of me and I went a partial boil instead and things may have gotten away from me. Thought I'd post the story for a laugh and a bit of fun.

1 - Grab a Coopers Sparkling Ale
2 - Clean the shit out of everything and set up a little brew cupboard where the fermenter can live.
3 - Bring 8lt of water close to the boil, let it cool to about 75c and then add 200gm of crystal malt
4 - Put 11.5gm of Safale US-05 into a glass of room temp water
4.5 - Open a can of Capital Red Eye
5 - Put tin of IPA extract into hot water to loosen up
6 - Measure out 750gm dextrose, 165 LME (because I forgot to stop pouring at 150gm) and 95gm DME
7 - Getting concerned that the water temp might drop, turn the burner onto the low setting for a minute or so
8 - Grab another beer, go hang out with wife
9 - God knows how long later, remember that the stove is on and go back to find the water at a temp of 95c
9.5 - Taste wort and consider that it's not sweet but more like week tea (not astringent though)
10 - Stir the Dextrose into the crystal malt wort stuff
11 - Stir the LME/DME into 2lt of water at about 75c
12 - Open the extract and pour into the wort followed by two tins of hot water to get the extract out (2lt in total)
13 - Take out the grain, don't bother to sparge as the high temps probably killed it's usefulness anyway
13.5 - Have an O'Brien's Dark Ale and conclude it's too sweet (actually, may have been a brown ale)
14 - Add the malt mix to the wort and crank up the temp to boil
15 - Measure out 30gm of Amarillo hops, chuck in muslin bag and into the pot
15.5 - Taste boiling wort and conclude that it has a burnt taste to it so chuck in another 250gm of dextrose
16 - After 20 mins of boiling mix 12 grams of Citra and 15 gm of Amarillo, into a bag and into the pot
17 - After 30 mins of boiling take out the hops and turn off the heat. Put pot in ice bath
17.5 - Move on to stout
18 - When the wort is about 48c conclude that adding tap water will likely cool it down enough to get it to 20c
19 - Pour wort into sanitised fermenter with great prejudice to aerate and top up with cold tap water to 30lt (considering how much sugar I now have in there)
20 - Get annoyed when wort temp only comes down to 22/23c
21 - Take a gravity reading of 1033 at 22c
22 - Leave fermenter on back deck to cool in the evening air
22.5 - Open longneck of Coopers Extra Stout and look at the mess I've made of the kitchen
23 - Put glass of yeast solution into wort
24 - Carry that heavy fucker down the back stairs and into the brew cupboard in the garage when it hits 21/22c
25 - Drink the wort used for the gravity reading and feel overly optimistically confident that my Frankenbrew might actually turn out all right.
26 - Take a beer to bed and fall asleep listening to some Nick Cave and the Badseeds.
Last edited:
Nice story.
“Take a beer to bed...” - now that’s keen.
“look at the mess I’ve made of the kitchen” - look, you could be in big shit come am. Wouldn’t choose to “hang out with the wife” then.:eek:
Spent the day cleaning the shit out of the kitchen (and bottles) then wife spills soup all over the joint.

Concerned at my ability to keep the wort at 20c during the day, though.
Yep, in the market for a fridge but has to be a real budget buy as I have 2 goddang house loans that get in the way of my personal spendings.
Going to get concerned if I don't start seeing some movement in the airlock tomorrow. It have moved, I can see that there is pressure in there as the water has been pushed outward in the airlock (so one water level is much lower than the one closest to to the outlet) but that level hasn't moved in 24 hours. It's been close to 24 hours since I pitched it. All is not lost yet though, I know. I'll give it another 48 hours before I consider opening/tipping.

There is very little head space in the fermenter given that I filled it to 30 lt. I was concerned about the foam (krauser?) pushing up into the airlock so I've bought some tube to make a blow off valve if needed. Anyone know if such a small amount of head space can create problems for the primary fermentation?