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Continuing Jokes Thread

Discussion in 'Humour & Jokes' started by Bribie G, 19/2/09.

 

  1. Tricky Dicky

    Well-Known Member

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    Posted 22/7/18
    I used to be heavily addicted to doing the Hokey Pokey but after some prolonged therapy I've managed to turn myself around and that's what it's all about.
     
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  2. Ronwales

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    Posted 22/7/18
    Went to the perth zoo the other day and too my surprise there was not a animal insight!
    Just one dog, that's it....
    It was a shih-tzu!
     
    Woong, Lobby Lobster and Tricky Dicky like this.
  3. justatad

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    Posted 22/7/18
    Possums Theory in Church.....


    The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their Possum infestation. After much prayer and consideration, they concluded the possums were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.

    At the Baptist church, the possums had taken an interest in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a water-slide on the baptistery and let the possums drown themselves. The possums liked the slide and, unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim so twice as many possums showed up the following week.

    The Lutheran church decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creatures. So, they humanely trapped their possums and set them free near the Baptist Church. Two weeks later the possums were back when the Baptists took down the water-slide.

    But the Catholic church came up with a very creative strategy. They baptized all the possums and made them members of the church. Now they only see them at Christmas and Easter.

    Not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue; they took the first possum and circumcised him. They haven't seen a possum since.
     
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  4. wide eyed and legless

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    Posted 24/7/18
    I can see a lot of crackers have been opened for Christmas in July.:)
     
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  5. Grmblz

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    Posted 25/7/18
    Paddy goes into a Dublin Florist shop and says,

    "I would like to buy a bunch of flowers for my girlfriend."

    The florist looked at him and said, "Certainly Sir, what is it you're after?"

    "A fuck," Paddy replies.



    A wealthy benefactor to a Testicle Disorder Hospital was being shown around the hospital. During her tour, she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating furiously.

    "Oh my GOD!" screamed the woman. "That's disgraceful! Why is he doing that?"

    The doctor who was leading the tour calmly explained, "I'm very sorry that you were exposed to that, but this man has a serious condition where his testicles rapidly fill with semen, and if he doesn't do that at least five times a day, he'll be in extreme pain and his testicles could easily rupture."

    "Oh, well in that case, I guess it's okay," said the woman.

    As they passed by the next room, they saw a male patient lying in bed while a nurse performed oral sex on him.

    Again, the woman screamed, "Oh my GOD! How can THAT be justified?"

    Again the doctor spoke very calmly: "Same illness, private health cover."
     
  6. Woong

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    Posted 1/8/18
    A woman walked into a bar and asked for a double entendre.

    So the barman gave her one.
     

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