DIVORCE SETTLEMENT
On the first day, sadly, he packed his belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.
On the second day, he got the house removers to come and collect his things.
On the third day, he sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining-room table; by candle-light he put on some soft background music and feasted on a pound of shrimps, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of spring-water.
When he'd finished, he went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimps dipped in caviar into the hollow centres of the curtain rods.
He then cleaned up the kitchen and left.
On the fourth day, the former wife came back with her new boyfriend, and, at first, all was bliss.
Then, slowly at first, the house began to smell...
They tried everything; cleaning, mopping, scrubbing and airing-out the place.
Under the floor boards, the attic and vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned.
Air fresheners were hung everywhere. 'Exterminators' were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which time the two had to move out for a few days. In the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.
Nothing worked! Unsurprisingly, people stopped coming over to visit.
Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit.
Finally, they couldn't take the sickening stench any longer, and decided they had to move, but a month later - even though they'd cut their asking price in half - they couldn't find a buyer for such a rotten, stinky house.
Word got out, and eventually even the local Estate Agents refused to enter their property or return their calls.
Finally, unable to wait any longer for a purchaser, they just had to get out and had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.
Then the ex called the woman and asked how things were going. She told him the saga of the rotting house. He listened politely and said he missed his old home terribly and would be willing to reduce his divorce settlement in exchange for having the house.
Knowing he could have no idea how bad the stench really was, she quickly agreed on a price that was only 1/10th of what the house had been worth ...but only, she insisted, if he would sign the papers that very day.
He agreed, and within two hours her lawyers delivered the completed paperwork.
A week later the woman and her boyfriend stood smiling as they watched the removal company pack everything to take to their new home ... and just to spite the gullible ex-husband, gleefully they even took the curtain rods !!!
I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU...
