Everyone had gathered in the village hall of a small country town, to hear the renowned expert on ghosts from the Psychic Society give a talk about his spooky experiences.
He started off with some introductory remarks- Now, there are three levels of contact with the spirit world. The first step is quite simply to see or hear a ghost or spirit. I wonder, who here has ever seen or heard a ghost?
About a twenty people in the crowd raise their hands.
Good, good, excellent, you must all be very much in tune with the psychic world. The next level of contact is actual physical contact with the entity or its dripping ectoplasm. Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?
A few less hands this time, but he is finding this all very encouraging.
Thats great, you are really lucky to be chosen by the spirits. Now we come to the third and rarest form of contact, which is, and his voice drops down to a whisper "intimate sexual contact with a ghost. Has anyone here tonight ever had sex with a ghost?
One hand slowly goes up, near the middle of the crowd.
The speaker is clearly amazed.
Really sir? Thats fantastic! Please, stand up, stand up
An old codger raises himself from his seat.
Now then, sir, you have had a very intimate contact with a ghost. Can you tell us about it? What was it like?
You what? says the old guy.
Your sexual encounter, youve had sex with a ghost, can you describe it for us?
Oh, GHOST. I thought you said with a goat says the old bloke, and sits down again.