2 Short 'uns

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Whats pink and round?

A pink circle.
What's pink and wrinkly and hangs out grampa's undies?

what did one sausage say to another sausage?

Nothing sausages dont talk.
Why cant Eric ride a bike?

Because Eric is a fish
why did the boy fall off the swing??

he had no arms.
Why did the girl fall off the swing?

Because someone threw a fridge at her
What did one statue say to the other statue?


;) ;)
Whats blue and white and runs through the forest?

A fridge wearing jeans.

What's grey and follows it?

The power cord.

why couldn't the dolphin turn around in the hallway?

He was driving a tractor.

What did the Jew get his son for Christmas?

...and I thought I was the one who always goes too far...

OK, So how many chauvinists does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. Let the b1tch wash the dishes in the dark!
Why don't they have many phones in China?

Because there are so many Wings and Wongs you might wing the wong number.
Why are there so many Changs in the Hong Kong white pages?

Coz they all have the phone on.

Whats white and can't climb trees?

A fridge.

This fridge gets around.......

Mainly in the Sydney metro area!!
Everyone had gathered in the village hall of a small country town, to hear the renowned expert on ghosts from the Psychic Society give a talk about his spooky experiences.
He started off with some introductory remarks- Now, there are three levels of contact with the spirit world. The first step is quite simply to see or hear a ghost or spirit. I wonder, who here has ever seen or heard a ghost?
About a twenty people in the crowd raise their hands.
Good, good, excellent, you must all be very much in tune with the psychic world. The next level of contact is actual physical contact with the entity or its dripping ectoplasm. Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?
A few less hands this time, but he is finding this all very encouraging.
Thats great, you are really lucky to be chosen by the spirits. Now we come to the third and rarest form of contact, which is, and his voice drops down to a whisper "intimate sexual contact with a ghost. Has anyone here tonight ever had sex with a ghost?
One hand slowly goes up, near the middle of the crowd.
The speaker is clearly amazed.
Really sir? Thats fantastic! Please, stand up, stand up
An old codger raises himself from his seat.
Now then, sir, you have had a very intimate contact with a ghost. Can you tell us about it? What was it like?
You what? says the old guy.
Your sexual encounter, youve had sex with a ghost, can you describe it for us?
Oh, GHOST. I thought you said with a goat says the old bloke, and sits down again.
There were two nuns driving home in a car. Suddenly a vampire jumped in front of the car!
"Quick! Show him your cross!" said the first nun.
"F#ck off Dracula" she said.
What do U call an anorexic with a yeast infection?

A quarter pounder with cheese.

What do U call a fatty with a yeast infection?

Whopper with cheese.

how can you tell which clan a scotsman is from? look up his kilt if he has a quarter pounder he is a mcdonalds

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