Things I Have Leart From Home Brewing

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or you find yourself in the big green shed looking at welders and dreaming of building a new rig. even though you have never welded before and know nothing about it. but you still start thinking
Do it cats, I'm sure I need some things welded somewhere at some stage...
 
Make sure your grain hopper is stable before adding 6.5kg of grain...

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Make sure your grain hopper is stable before adding 6.5kg of grain...

Dude, I feel your pain.

So sweep it up and mill it anyway did we?
 
Boiling wort does not agree with hydrometer tubes....

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especially when the hydrometer is still in it. (managed to pull it out in time, but still heard a tiny crack).
 
That hydrometers are the most fragile thing in the universe.

I swear i looked at my last one the wrong way and it exploded.
 
*I learned that a cube full of 70+c wort put into a chest freezer (to keep the sun off it), that was turned off, will still be 42c the next day. Waaay to hot for pitching.
 
I have learnt that a Noob can post a new topic and get hammered for 13 pages before the moderators wipe it clean off cyber space...


I have learnt that Bribie can fill 3 pages counting down to 11111...


I have learnt that I need to talk about something other than Beer when at a dinner party ..


I have learnt never to attend a dinner party again !! :)
 
I've done that a few times. I always sweep it up and mill it anyway... after I've pulled all the rat droppings and dog hairs out :ph34r:


Make sure your grain hopper is stable before adding 6.5kg of grain...
 
i've learnt that when you hear c02 escaping from the post on your keg of Porter that has just been force carbed that it isn't a good idea to just give it a little push so it re-seats itself nicely. Especially when you are using the in-laws brand new apartment for brewing in whilst they are overseas.

End result was Porter all over me, all over the ceiling, all over the walls, all over their upholstered dining chairs. Managed to clean most of it up, but even after bringing in professionals to clean the upholstery you can still see the stains.
 
ive learnt you just cant convert Crown Lager drinkers... :icon_vomit:
 
ive learnt you just cant convert Crown Lager drinkers... :icon_vomit:

Or Corona drinkers...or VB drinkers.

And you cant convince people that not all home brew tastes like the home brew they once tried in their xmas gift Coopers kit with out of date tins and yeast.

Truman: Here try this latest Pale Ale that I brewed a few months back.

Mr Megaswill: No thanks mate I hate that home brew shit, I got a Coopers kit for Xmas and tried to make some beer and it tasted like crap.

Truman: Nah mate this is different, I brew using grains and boiling in an urn adding hops as I go just like the breweries do.

Mr Megaswill: Bullshit it will still taste like shit.

Truman: Drink your megaswill then, more for me.

Converted HB drinker: Gee this HB of yours is great Truman better than what I tried to make once. Cheers
 
I've learnt that non-beer-afficionados judge a beer largely on its presentation.

Recently I gave a few mates a couple of bottles (de-labled Stella stubbies) of filtered, bright Euro Lager with zero sediment. They were happy until I told them each bottle costs about 25c. Then they would take a swig, look at the bottle, concentrate on the taste and be a little angry they couldn't fault it.

People who pay $2 for a bottle of beer really don't like knowing you make it just the same for a tenth of the cost.

When the "homebrew is shit" fails, there's two types of people - those who will be bitter enough to slump back to their megaswill just to prove a point; and those who will ask how to make it.

Doesn't matter if you turn up with award-winning beer if it's in a 2L Coke bottle.
 
I have learnt that homebrewing means you will branch out into other hobbies. Like beekeeping for example. I have also learnt that a quick 5 minute job on the homebrew side of things hurts far less than on the beekeeping side of things. Those girls opened a can of woop-arse on me last night! Probably won't see my knuckles for another week....

I've also learnt that whilst getting stung repeatedly on the wrist and hands, it is impossible for me to drop my glass of vienna lager
 
I've also learnt that whilst getting stung repeatedly on the wrist and hands, it is impossible for me to drop my glass of vienna lager

Surely holding a cold lager in your hands is perfect rehabilitation? Sounds like you need to keep refilling that glass...
 
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