The Bribie Fart / Woman hypothesis
Whenever I let off a really good fart, on the assumption that I am alone and nobody knows, the following inevitably happens:
Within 4 seconds a woman rushes up and stands next to me, inevitably downwind
If not SWMBO or a visiting female in the house then God will instantly create a fully formed woman to stand next to me
This happens every time. For example at work last night I was sitting in the lunch room reading the paper at around 8.15 PM, completely alone
I let one rip then looked around and at the next table was a woman I have never seen before, watching the TV on the wall and looking quite horrified. She had not been there when I entered the lunch room. Of course it was difficult and embarrassing to challenge her as to who she was and where she had - instantaneously - come from, as she was in no mood for casual conversation.
I regard this as some sort of vengeance for something I did in a previous plane of existence.
The woman did not reappear onto the call centre floor and despite walking up and down the four aisles of workstations I did not see her again. On checking the time-sheets on the way out I did notice that someone had gone home sick but cannot confirm that I was familiar with the name.