Man Bags

[dago001]

Except bumping up your post count - but the way this thread has gotten side tracked it probably is all its worth.

 

[Malted]

the absence of the word "Tockley" needs addressing.

Indeed you make a valid point and your concern is duly noted, management will attempt to rectify the situation as soon as it is able to.

 

[punkin]

Indeed you make a valid point and your concern is duly noted, management will attempt to rectify the situation as soon as it is able to.

Before or after the recipe data base is back up?

 

[Dave70]

For TasChris

Thinking this maybe the manbag you were referring to

That esky reminds me of my old Duc.

A racing stripe on anything = instant ******* awesomeness.

(edit) inserted the word '*******'.

 

[Malted]

I have tried the dry hump routine, but gave it up at 16 - found the real thing is a much better experience, and the Mrs always knows Im up for it. The odd knee trembler here and there keeps things interesting.

I have taken Mrs LagerBomb to a far superior night club a few times. All she could comment about was how clean the Ladies (a term used loosely for one of the establishments) rooms were. I informed her the same standard does not apply to the Mens room. I infact asked if it was ok for me to use the Ladies room, she could even join me if she was so inclined.
Booby slap was free -would never dream of paying for something on offer at home.
Camn see the "old boy" quite well. No need for a touch up to get a sight of him.
Im a plumber by the way so I asume a bideau is a bidet
Cheers
LagerBomb
Edit - Might try the tenner routine though -could be onto something here - I take it is from past experience that you have learned this.

Yes I too tried the dry humping routine at around the age of 16. It seemed like the girls I was ‘associating’ with at that age needed quite a bit to get their motor running. Generally by that stage my tockley was red raw and I had blue balls. It was like one almost had to ease them into the concept of having a gyrating bloke on top of them before they would disrobe for an attack on the summit, this did not necessarily occur on the first training missions which were generally dry runs only. However I digress from our conversation which is intended to offer useful travel advice and social commentary. I suppose however, discussing the past and reflecting upon it, is in a manner, a way to offer insight for future activities. Unfortunately, whilst it is indeed slightly comical (in hindsight), my pubescent purple poonani pumping is not likely to offer useful insight at the present.

I will make further comment that it is not always appropriate to bash the badger in a public knee trembler and therefore a little dry hump here and there certainly, as highlighted previously, is a great way to express a public display of affection for your wife. By your logic, precluding dry humping from your activities would be akin to suggesting that knob gobbling is no good because it is not the real thing. We all know that is complete rubbish because good gobby is still good gobby and can quite often occur in areas or locations in which a knee trembler would be too overt. Highway gobby for instance is much easier to accomplish than delivering the doodle to the furry black hole whilst driving. Ha ha thinking about knee trmeblers puts me in mind of my most comically remembered knee trembler in which I once distributed a knee trembler in a dark country laneway and had a nasty experience with some stinging nettle.

Sheesh you have taken your missus to a far superior nightclub that had ladies rooms? All of the strip clubs that I have been to had open planned ‘private lounges’ for private lap dancing. I would assume since the venue you went to had rooms for the ladies, what you took the missus to was a brothel.

In that context, the following comment is indeed outstanding!

infact asked if it was ok for me to use the Ladies room, she could even join me if she was so inclined.

I applaud you sir. I am just training my missus to tolerate me visiting strip clubs with the bros but she certainly would not allow me to visit a brothel, let alone attend one with me. Outstanding!

However, asking and receiving can be two vastly different things. I ask for my missus to suck the sav quite frequently and am rarely rewarded with a licked lovestick (or at least not as frequently as I request it). You’ve not made any claims about your relative success rate so I would assume that you made the request and were subsequently denied, possibly even given two black eyes (that assumption would however be extrapolating beyond the observed data range) – you know, don’t assume because it makes an ass of you and me. So let’s examine the facts: You said you asked, you never said you met with success, any normal bloke would brag about it if he had met with success (or Krystal, Amber, Ruby, Topaz, Bambi, Candy etc), so one would assume you were unsuccessful in your request.

I am certainly glad that you can see your passion parrot. It is good when taking the ferret for a run to be able to see where he goes. They say any hole is a goal but some women get upset when your poke the purple headed pussy pumper at the back door. In my experience it is best to be able to see which hole the ferret is trying to enter if you are going to just stab him in. Mind you some girls don’t lock the back door but as I spoke about in a previous post, being able to see your tockley will make it easy to mash you meat marauder during greetings. In the absence of any new information from you regarding your likely social venues, there is little new information that I can offer in this regard.

To revert back to the backpack notion, we can rule out you not hiking due to being a fat ******* since you claim to not be a LagerBlob. One would therefore assume that since you are a plumber, you must have ‘plumbers crack’ and don’t like the idea of the backpack causing sweat to run down your back and pool about your pooper. I would suggest that said vertical chocolate smile would negate any potential Wildlife Warrior greetings. Buy some new khaki shorts with a higher waistline, wear a belt if necessary.

Yes a Bideau is more commonly known as a Bidet, or frog fanny flusher. They are rather useful too for washing stuff off the bottom of your shoes if you happen to have trodden in something nasty. One of the key things for a fabulous fanny flusher is to not set the water pressure too high or else it may well be an instrument of instant enemas. Hey who am I talking to, you’ve most probably had a few enemas in your time so I don’t need to tell you how to suck in your sphincter; you are a plumber and thus know about plumbing!

No I don’t think I have resorted to dropping money in front of my missus to get her to bend over, I’d be too worried about the money blowing away. I will usually take advantage of situations in which she has bent over of her own accord. I did learn from a couple of friends who were girls (actually a flatmate and her best friend) that people quite often drop money at the bar. The dammed hussies used to go out with no money, get guys to buy them drinks, whilst standing at the bar and picking up the money that had been dropped, then return home drunk with $50-$100 in their pockets. Or at least that was the story they gave me. In hindsight I probably would have dropped money in front of them so that I could stand behind them to admire the view when they bent over. I came very close (or should say was in the situation in which I believe I could have) to nailing the best friend on a few occasions but was too moralistic to do so given that she had a boyfriend. I didn’t think to give her a bit of grinding dry hump action at the pub, that’s not technically cutting another mans fluff is it?

So I would say that whilst you are sceptical of the dry hump, it is still a valuable tool. It will keep your missus on her toes, or perhaps on all fours if you push too hard. The excitement and anticipation of it will keep her pussy pulsating such that when you are able to spear the bearded clam it will be greatly heightened for the both of you. Think of it as the Lazy Sutra if you will and dry grind her rump in front of the Poms. They will be impressed with how friendly you are.

 

[tricache]

Where the hell has this thread gone!! :lol:

 

[jlm]

Malted is taking it to new and exciting places. Thank management for me for addressing my earlier niggle. The alliteration is much appreciated too.

 

[dago001]

A far superior night club is not a Brothel - that is an Excellent Night Out Club - One must be very careful when considering offering this option to the Mrs. Blue balls may well become black balls and the only dry humping that is achieved after that will be with your pillow. Being the good old Ausisie bloke that I am, I never had a problem after the age of 16 of having to"ease them into the concept of having a gyrating bloke on top of them before they would disrobe for an attack on the summit" as I found that most of the time they were "gagging" for it. Read into that what ever you may.
There is nothing wrong with a little sneaky skirt lift in an elavator (not to be confused with Shirt Lift) followed bt a very pleasing Knee trembler to the top floor of a high rise. A little bit of love pump munching is likely to happen only after all other occupants of said elevator have done the "Elvis" and left the building. The whole affair may require a few trips up and down the elevator. The more the better.
"Mind you some girls don’t lock the back door" In my opinion the back door should always be locked. I consider it to be a NRV. No further discussion to be entered in.
The Plumbers crack is a time honoured tradition that any worker would be proud to own. In fact, I have handed it down to my children, so that the tradition will never be lost. I would rather be known as a plumber and have a plumbers crack jokes, than be an Insurance salesman/bank manager and have c@%t jokes made about them. Call it a bagde of honour if you will. (Being a Plumber is also very handy for making my own brewing gear - you should all be jealous of my crack)
I have decided not to go for the "dropping money scam" but in fact have come up with a better scam which is a variation of the Gold Ring scam currently doing the rounds in Europe. I would like to tell you what the scam involves but I hope to maybe get some good results from it in Aussie land, so you arent allowed to know what the hap is.
Having recently being able to view some of JLMs Picture magazines I would have to say that the Bearded Clam is in fact an endangered species and very hard to find these days. Apparently "Man Grooming" is becoming more prevalent and I would hope that you are not an active participator in any such activities, although little tidy up is quite OK.
And just for JLMs information, I have never littered, so I can not be accused of being an alliterator.