First World Problems Thread

[Malted]

Well, I hope your i phones within reach (and charged), cos I've the perfect solution for you.

http://www.monkeyhelpers.org/


I'm currently on the waiting list for one that can gather a tallie from the fridge WITHOUT stirring up the sediment, use a bottle opener without poking it's eye out.
If they send you one with a pirate patch, you'll know it was one of the ones I returned.

I would not reccomend this service. I had one for a while but it didn't work out. It was fine at first except for not being very good with bottle openers but after a while I'd tell the little capuchin to fetch me another beer and the little bathplug would shit in it's hand and throw it at me, I fixed his little red wagon I can tell you. If you get one with a pirate patch and a prosthetic bottle opener hook for a hand, you'll know it was one of the ones I returned.

 

[Ducatiboy stu]

Well, you receive one with its other arm missing, you will know it tried to steal the Foie gras and Wagyu eye fillet pat'e from my Panther. After all, it is flown in twice weekly from Paris and Tokyo...

 

[Malted]

Well, you receive one with its other arm missing, you will know it tried to steal the Foie gras and Wagyu eye fillet pat'e from my Panther. After all, it is flown in twice weekly from Paris and Tokyo...

Your Panther sure would have some frequent flyer points! How do you get around Quarantine? My mate is bringing a hound and a feline back from England and I am sure he said the poor blighters have to spend a month or two in Quarantine isolation upon their return.

 

[Dave70]

Are they friendly with other animals, I mean I dont want it picking a fight with my albino panther....

Don't turn your back on it for to long.
The panther will hold its own. But it decided to try and make a meal of my Corroboree frog's and suffered mild alkaloid poisoning.
That meant another trip to the vet for the monkey, and an air freight charge from the Southern tablelands for another box of frogs.

I suggest you have it's teeth pulled.
We may indeed end up with the primate equivalent of robo cop here, but a more refined package to be sure.

 

[bum]

robo cop

How positively gauche!

 

[Ducatiboy stu]

Your Panther sure would have some frequent flyer points! How do you get around Quarantine? My mate is bringing a hound and a feline back from England and I am sure he said the poor blighters have to spend a month or two in Quarantine isolation upon their return.

Have'nt had any quarantine or customs issues... the guys usually come around at night and drop everything off.... They say that as they dont get in till late, the customs & quarantine office is closed, so they cant pay, and they leave early so never get to pay in the mornings

 

[Malted]

If you receive a pugnacious capuchin monkey with one arm missing, one hand replaced with a hook bottle opener prosthesis, a pirate eye patch, no teeth, hair stained with frog guts, foaming at the mouth, scars all over it from fighting panthers and answers to the name of Lucky, you may have received a monkey that Dave, Stu and Malted have rejected.

 

[bum]

If you receive a pugnacious capuchin monkey with one arm missing, one hand replaced with a hook bottle opener prosthesis, a pirate eye patch, no teeth, hair stained with frog guts, foaming at the mouth, scars all over it from fighting panthers and answers to the name of Lucky, you may have received a monkey that Dave, Stu and Malted have rejected.

Underpants around its ankles.

 

[Malted]

Are they friendly with other animals,

Apparently they like chest puppies

 

[Ducatiboy stu]

I had an appointment at Centerlink today, turned up 5min early, got straight in....then old mate told me the best times to bring back outstanding paper work.....

 

[petesbrew]

Yearly train ticket. 2 months old. Won't work becuase of tiny crease in corner. FFS.

 

[pk.sax]

The meds worked too well and I did not suffer enough at work to get a few sympathy points.

2020 posts. Now I need to sit back and allow that to stay up there. I'm gonna suffer.

 

[pk.sax]

Facebook is running slow

 

[Bribie G]

My dLink usb dongle is only 50cm through a plaster wall from my Wifi wireless router and I'm only getting three bars out of four. Bigpond lie.

 

[bum]

That's only signal strength though. Your actual throughput may be the the same. If you're using a laptop try speedtest.net in each room a few times and see how it averages out. Make sure you're comparing data from the same server though.

 

[Clutch]

People aren't searching before they post stuff.

 

[bum]

No one ever has - this is the internet.

 

[Clutch]

What the **** is the internet?

 

[Bribie G]

I decided to save money and follow a third world diet with dal, rice, veg curries - incredibly cheap but I can't stand the constant farting.

 

[TasChris]

I decided to save money and follow a third world diet with dal, rice, veg curries - incredibly cheap but I can't stand the constant farting.

Poor people smell