First World Problems Thread

[Liam_snorkel]

1) Kegerator
2) Laz-y-boy recliner
3) Pint glass
4) Empty 2lt orange juice bottle

First world problem. Solved.

But the keg fridge is all the way over there. It's alright guys I poured a bigger one this time.

 

[Bribie G]

There's a pathway into the Liquorland Pub / bottlo at the end of our cul de sac so it takes a lot longer to actually drive round the streets to get there as opposed to walking, but I always drive because the neighbours know I home brew and I don't want them to think I've done a crook batch if they see me walking home with 3 coopers tallies or some Henninger. I have my pride you know.

 

[Ducatiboy stu]

My kids want desert.....ponder that one

 

[manticle]

With palm trees?

Or without?

 

[Ducatiboy stu]

My kids want desert.....ponder that one

This is a true story....They want a desert, cause it has lots of sand, and they can have the biggest sand pit..

 

[davo4772]

Two Iphones in the house, one charger. Someone please help!

 

[glenwal]

Two Iphones in the house, one charger. Someone please help!

1) Open your bin
2) Insert both iPhones
3) Get 2 androids

 

[Airgead]

1) Open your bin
2) Insert both iPhones
3) Get 2 androids

Word. :super:

 

[Dave70]

My current batch of truffles are giving my breakfast quail eggs a lumpy mouth feel.

I need a new pig with a more refined snout.

 

[Ducatiboy stu]

My current batch of truffles are giving my breakfast quail eggs a lumpy mouth feel.

I need a new pig with a more refined snout.

The problem is that you are using Italian truffles, you need the more expensive French truffles. You can improve your truffles and quail eggs by add some top shelf beluga caviar.

I also sugest you take the pig to a plastic surgeon. Its the least you can do for your pig.

Hope this solves your current crisis.

 

[Malted]

My current batch of truffles are giving my breakfast quail eggs a lumpy mouth feel.

I need a new pig with a more refined snout.

My dear fellow it has been my experience that pigs are rather greedy chaps and it is jolly hard to stop them from eating or attempting to fornicate with the truffles, in either case the truffles are oft ruined. The upside to this is that truffles impart a superior flavour to the flesh of the swine. I suggest that you butcher the hog as it will make exceptional porcine charchuterie and purchase a neutered dog for truffle foraging, they're much more reliable and social chaps.

 

[argon]

 

[Dave70]

My dear fellow it has been my experience that pigs are rather greedy chaps and it is jolly hard to stop them from eating or attempting to fornicate with the truffles, in either case the truffles are oft ruined. The upside to this is that truffles impart a superior flavour to the flesh of the swine. I suggest that you butcher the hog as it will make exceptional porcine charchuterie and purchase a neutered dog for truffle foraging, they're much more reliable and social chaps.

Well to be honest, I'm inclined to dispense with the truffle idea altogether. Who'd have suspected that a simple food staple would be the source of so much bother!!
As luck would have it, the deli owner who supplies my Foie gras has a brother who lives near the Caspian Sea and is willing to milk a some Sturgeons for me.

As per the previous callers suggestion, I dispatched the pig (sow) off to the beautician where she split an ampule of botox with the wife.
And what a change! The missus, well old 'deadface' wont be doing much beside moving her eyes like one of those creepy horror movie portrait's for a few days, but the pig, helloooo...
Imagine Oprah with a uniform case Vitiligo.

 

[petesbrew]

When are they ever going to develop a long-lasting flourescent pen?
instead they always dry out overnight.

 

[bum]

... milk a some Sturgeons for me...ampule...

^enjoyed

 

[Malted]

When are they ever going to develop a long-lasting flourescent pen?
instead they always dry out overnight.

I find putting the lid back on them when I am finished extends the lifetime of the pen. They do tend to dry out rapidly without the lid.

 

[Malted]

Well to be honest, I'm inclined to dispense with the truffle idea altogether. Who'd have suspected that a simple food staple would be the source of so much bother!!
As luck would have it, the deli owner who supplies my Foie gras has a brother who lives near the Caspian Sea and is willing to milk a some Sturgeons for me.

As per the previous callers suggestion, I dispatched the pig (sow) off to the beautician where she split an ampule of botox with the wife.
And what a change! The missus, well old 'deadface' wont be doing much beside moving her eyes like one of those creepy horror movie portrait's for a few days, but the pig, helloooo...
Imagine Oprah with a uniform case Vitiligo.

Oh my dear chap, I do so hope you mean Foi gras de oie? Hers indoors attended a surgeon recently and by golly did that fellow milk my wallet! I do so hope that your Porcine paramour proves to be a pleasant procurement.

 

[Clutch]

I thought dogs had replaced pigs as the weapon of choice when it came to locating truffles?

 

[petesbrew]

I find putting the lid back on them when I am finished extends the lifetime of the pen. They do tend to dry out rapidly without the lid.

Yeah but do you always put the lid back on your biro? That don't dry out quick.
An obstacle they need to overcome.

 

[Ducatiboy stu]

Well to be honest, I'm inclined to dispense with the truffle idea altogether. Who'd have suspected that a simple food staple would be the source of so much bother!!
As luck would have it, the deli owner who supplies my Foie gras has a brother who lives near the Caspian Sea and is willing to milk a some Sturgeons for me.

As per the previous callers suggestion, I dispatched the pig (sow) off to the beautician where she split an ampule of botox with the wife.
And what a change! The missus, well old 'deadface' wont be doing much beside moving her eyes like one of those creepy horror movie portrait's for a few days, but the pig, helloooo...
Imagine Oprah with a uniform case Vitiligo.

I might also suggest that a few bottle of Grange would also help, personally I would buy 2 cases, just in case friends drop over. I would also suggest sharkfin soup served in Ivory bowls would make an excellent entre'