Depression........Its real

[Ducatiboy stu]

My book arrived today....

Looks like a good read just flicking thru it.

When I get time infront of a PC instead of my not so smart phone I shall post an up date of how the anti-depressant I am on and mixing it with alc.....not such a good thing.....I eas warned but **** me.......not such a good idea

 

[Ducatiboy stu]

Well...I got the book " The Happiness Trap"...and as usual, it sat on the shelf for to long.

Its a good book. Not what I thought. Not all the way through it because it gives you exercises to do.

Guys, dont give up.

 

[Superoo]

Theres a brilliant radio program which aired early November 2012 on the ABC in South West WA.

There is a CD available of the whole program, you can get it here...
http://www.abc.net.au/local/audio/2013/10/30/3880195.htm

Link to the full show sound...
https://soundcloud.com/abc-south-coast/the-tractor-cd-a-mens-suicide
then click download at the top of the page.

The radio announcer is John Cecil, and he deserves a lot of credit for making this program happen.

So Grab a coldie, sit back and listen, and pass the link on to your friends and family.

Cheers to all, and keep talking to your mates...

 

[thedragon]

DS, good to hear that you're staying strong. You no doubt have the support of the people that know and love you. Great to see people like you raising awareness of men's and mental health.

 

[thedragon]

Edit: duplicate post. Sorry.

 

[StalkingWilbur]

Great thread.

I've lost mates growing up and never understood it. Especially when it was so sudden and seemed like there was no reason.

My girlfriend used to have depression before I knew her and now it's come back. **** me, it gets so hard sometimes. I told her I won't give up trying to help her and being there for her unless she gives up. I get angry sometimes when she acts irrational or starts acting in a self-destructive way. I know I shouldn't and I know it's not her fault, but sometimes I can't help it and it makes me feel like a ******* wanker. Sometimes she says that this is who she is and acts like its going to be this way for ever, but that's not the person I've known for the last two and half years.

After reading some posts here (going to have to go back and read more) I think I need to just shut up and listen more. Sometimes I try to make her understand that things aren't so bad, or tell her that she shouldn't be so upset about something that doesn't seem major because people have worse. I'll just shut up and listen.

 

[Mardoo]

Definitely read the whole thread SW. I learned a lot. The main thing I never realised is that for folks with chronic depression it doesn't really occur to them that life can be different, that there is something other than the grey.

It's helped me to work with my wife's depression that arises sometimes from her chronic pain syndrome. Different, it seems, to the bleakness of chronic depression though.

 

[Ducatiboy stu]

Mate...its a bitch.

It comes in many forms.

The worst thing is the mood swings.

Personally I become anti social..but saying that, when I am social I am on a real high...but then when it wears off...I dont want to leave the house.

It creates a spiral...a spiral that gets out of control.

 

[doon]

Definitely just listen. Its a weird thing sometimes mine is gone for a long time and then bam the most minor thing seems to be the hardest thing in the world and has you thinking of easy ways out. It is definitely a life long problem

 

[Mardoo]

Must be hell. I hate my mood swings, when I'm looking around in the black with no clue which way is up again, and they're just normal ones.

 

[doon]

Im just glad I have a loving wife who understands this is how my brain is and is patient with me when it decides to go south

 

[Ducatiboy stu]

Good days are great.

Its the periods when you dont even know how or what fun is that is the prob

And those periods last months.....and I do mean months...

 

[Ducatiboy stu]

And the worst thing to do is push a person with depression..

It makes you feel worse than you need to be.

 

[StalkingWilbur]

Yeah. I think that's what I've tried to do because my personality type is to just keep moving forward no matter what's coming at me, much to my own detriment at times.

And then one day I saw her post a comic about a girl hiding under a blanket and the other person getting in with them when the girl said she wasn't coming out and I had a realization moment and tried to change my behavior. It's amazing what can initiate a fundamental change that can help so much.

 

[Ducatiboy stu]

DS, good to hear that you're staying strong. You no doubt have the support of the people that know and love you.

That is the biggest misconception.

 

[manticle]

Great thread. I've lost mates growing up and never understood it. Especially when it was so sudden and seemed like there was no reason. My girlfriend used to have depression before I knew her and now it's come back. **** me, it gets so hard sometimes. I told her I won't give up trying to help her and being there for her unless she gives up. I get angry sometimes when she acts irrational or starts acting in a self-destructive way. I know I shouldn't and I know it's not her fault, but sometimes I can't help it and it makes me feel like a ******* wanker. Sometimes she says that this is who she is and acts like its going to be this way for ever, but that's not the person I've known for the last two and half years. After reading some posts here (going to have to go back and read more) I think I need to just shut up and listen more. Sometimes I try to make her understand that things aren't so bad, or tell her that she shouldn't be so upset about something that doesn't seem major because people have worse. I'll just shut up and listen.

Caring is also not easy - not least because you're not the one suffering from the illness directly. Your response is normal.

Listen as much as you can but don't forget both you and she are human. If you also need support, whether professional or just from friends who understand, seek it.

 

[hyjak71]

Wow, never expected to read a thread on this topic here.
Don't suffer myself but my wife has dealt with depression and anxiety for a large portion of her life. Depression to start and anxiety later, mainly stemming from an abusive ex husband. We have been through hell over the last 6 years we have been together including severe Post Natal after the birth of our twins which included a stay in a mother/baby unit for a period of 10wks all up. During this time she had ECT (electroconvulsive therapy) and a massive shake up of her medications (w hich is never fun). The most defeating thing for her was that prior to the twins birth she had weaned herself off all meds for the first time in years and was feeling great but the PND just bought it all crashing back.

Twins are 3 now and she has wound back to half prescribed dosage and is in the best physical form of her life thanks to a dedicated exercise regime and healthy eating, the goal is to be completely off the meds in another 2 years, which I reckon she will do.

The fact that this debilitating illness is being discussed on a public 'blokey' forum gives me hope that the perceived shame of suffering from depression will eventualy disappear and those affected are able to discuss it openly and frankly without fear of ridicule or judgement.

We have also lost a number of friends to suicide over the years and seeing the ripple effect on the community surrounding those people is devastaing.

Best wishes to all battling 'the *******' and I hope anyone reading this thread who may be helped by doing so is.

 

[cereal_killer]

I was going to start out with an intro...

But this is one crazy thread guys, Im a manic myself. Its always been tough, almost emasculating, well at least felt like it to admit or discuss... Insanely beautiful community you have built here guys, unlike any other hobby I am involved in, by a long stretch.

Kudos. Maybe the word beautiful, is a tad hard to swallow, but as someone at the bottom of the barrel, its perfect. Unless you have ever travelled alone, you dont know what its like to have.

Those who dont understand but try to, thankyou. All we need is a glimmer of hope.

 

[Mardoo]

That is the biggest misconception.

Can you say some more about what you mean DucatiboyStu?

 

[goomboogo]

Can you say some more about what you mean DucatiboyStu?

Stu will correct me if I'm wrong but I think he is saying he doesn't receive tremendous support from those who know him best.