Brew Bama
Member
I was pulled over last night and the officer asked me if I had a police record.
I told him “no but I have a couple albums by Sting.
I told him “no but I have a couple albums by Sting.
Continuing Jokes Thread
- Thread starter Bribie G
- Start date
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Brewer Tom
Active Member
Love this one with the kids in the car . . .
'Reversing . . . Ahh, this takes me back'
'Reversing . . . Ahh, this takes me back'
wide eyed and legless
Well-Known Member
Another one for the car.
I going to try something in a minute, Iv'e seen it done in a cartoon but I think I can do it.
Brewer Tom
Active Member
another funny
Brewer Tom
Active Member
Waitress: Sees that dad hasn't eaten all his food 'Do you want a box for that?'
Dad: 'No, but I'll wrestle ya for it!'"
Dad: 'No, but I'll wrestle ya for it!'"
Brewer Tom
Active Member
Yesterday, a feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships...
Apparently 'In HD' wasn't the correct answer!
Apparently 'In HD' wasn't the correct answer!
Grmblz
Well-Known Member
My wife packed my bags and said "GET OUT!!!". As I walked out the front door, she screamed, "I wish you a slow and painful death, you *******!" "Oh," I replied, "so now you want me to stay!"
wide eyed and legless
Well-Known Member
'Still Game' top comedy show from Scotland well worth watching, sadly ended now.
Brewer Tom
Active Member
It's a 5 minute walk from my house to the pub.
It's a 35 minute walk from the pub to my house.
The difference is staggering.
It's a 35 minute walk from the pub to my house.
The difference is staggering.
wide eyed and legless
Well-Known Member
I've had some mileage out of this joke.
I know that one brilliant
Reminds me of me!
Grmblz
Well-Known Member
Bob the builder goes up to a girl in a night club and says "I've got an 8 inch dick and can shag all night"
After a few drinks she takes him home.
The next morning she says "hey you said you had 8 inches and could go all night but you've only got 5 inches and lasted 3 minutes"
Bob replies "I'm a builder love, it was an estimate"
After a few drinks she takes him home.
The next morning she says "hey you said you had 8 inches and could go all night but you've only got 5 inches and lasted 3 minutes"
Bob replies "I'm a builder love, it was an estimate"
wide eyed and legless
Well-Known Member
I don't know if I have posted this before.
A ventriloquist cowboy comes across a ranch, and looking for a place to stay the night rides up to the farmhouse and the farmer came out to greet him. Thinking he will have some fun with this country bumpkin the dog comes up first wagging his tail, the ventriloquist asks the dog how the farmer is treating him. The dog replies I have plenty of exercise, and I am fed well and I am happy here, the farmer is amazed, next he goes up to the farmers horse and asks how are you treated here horse, the horse replies I am treated well have plenty of food and a warm barn to sleep in. The farmer is flabbergasted, he turns to the cowboy and says, 'Don't you go talking to those sheep in yonder meadow, they are nothing but goddamn liars'.
A ventriloquist cowboy comes across a ranch, and looking for a place to stay the night rides up to the farmhouse and the farmer came out to greet him. Thinking he will have some fun with this country bumpkin the dog comes up first wagging his tail, the ventriloquist asks the dog how the farmer is treating him. The dog replies I have plenty of exercise, and I am fed well and I am happy here, the farmer is amazed, next he goes up to the farmers horse and asks how are you treated here horse, the horse replies I am treated well have plenty of food and a warm barn to sleep in. The farmer is flabbergasted, he turns to the cowboy and says, 'Don't you go talking to those sheep in yonder meadow, they are nothing but goddamn liars'.
Grmblz
Well-Known Member
An oldie but goody.
OATY1KENOBE
Member
- Joined
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WARNING - This joke has what some might consider offensive language - do not read if easily offended !
A really rough and ragged bloke out on a station comes bursting through the front door of the homestead with his dog by his side and says to his missus " Right !,.. I'm goin' pig huntin',...... You got 3 choices 1. You come with me, 2. you give me blow job instead, 3. you take one up the back alley !" his missus says, "Awww,... let me think about it for 5 minutes" He says " righto,... I'm going out to get ready, I'll be back in a tic" Then turns to go back outside and says to his dog " Come on Rex!"
5 minutes later he bursts through the door and says " Righto woman, what's it gunna be?" She says " Awwww... I'll take the blow-job" He Says " Righto !,... get on your knees !" He flops it out and she puts it in her mouth and a second later she spits on the floor repeatedly, screws up her face and says " Ewwwww !! This tastes like dog shit ! " the bloke says " Yeah,...... Rex didn't wanna go either !"
A really rough and ragged bloke out on a station comes bursting through the front door of the homestead with his dog by his side and says to his missus " Right !,.. I'm goin' pig huntin',...... You got 3 choices 1. You come with me, 2. you give me blow job instead, 3. you take one up the back alley !" his missus says, "Awww,... let me think about it for 5 minutes" He says " righto,... I'm going out to get ready, I'll be back in a tic" Then turns to go back outside and says to his dog " Come on Rex!"
5 minutes later he bursts through the door and says " Righto woman, what's it gunna be?" She says " Awwww... I'll take the blow-job" He Says " Righto !,... get on your knees !" He flops it out and she puts it in her mouth and a second later she spits on the floor repeatedly, screws up her face and says " Ewwwww !! This tastes like dog shit ! " the bloke says " Yeah,...... Rex didn't wanna go either !"
