Butters My Airlock Isn't Working? What Can I Do?

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Hey Morris Dancers have you seen James and Oz tour of Britain before the rest of us ?

Name changed to BMC dancers in 1975 after the Morris Marina was introduced.

ask butters about kentish fairy juice.......

What, no mention of gravel?? No poll??

Oh, and I want to be able to identify my fermenters, can I buy colour-coded airlock grommets??

perhaps write the name of the beer on a paper boat and float it in the top of the fermenter. as long as the boat has an airlock in it and hasn't been made by Brett you should be OK :ph34r:
 
All those questions, and not one along the lines of

"Help me buttersd70! I spent $100 on ingredients for my latest lager, cultured the yeast from the purest of hand-selected cells, brewed in a nitrogen filled sterile clean-room whilst wearing a hazmat suit, and have kept ferment temperature at 18*C to within 0.001*C. I had a sample tested after the ferment finished (checked with a $10,000 refractometer) and it turns out the brew is 5 IBUs over the BJCP limit. I've thrown the brew out since it's clearly no good. My question is; how can I avoid this next time?"

:p

All said with due respect, mate.
 
ask butters about kentish fairy juice.......
2 names have been considered for my mid year case swap beer....Either, "Molly Sugden's Bridesmaid", or alternatively "'Eadless, Southern Nancy, Stick Bangin', 'anky Wavin, Bell Ringin', knickerbocker wearing, recorder playing, Maypole twirling, badger shagging, Kentish F'in' Fairy Juice."

If 1469 is used for it, the former will win. Otherwise, it will be the latter.

All those questions, and not one along the lines of

"Help me buttersd70! I spent $100 on ingredients for my latest lager, cultured the yeast from the purest of hand-selected cells, brewed in a nitrogen filled sterile clean-room whilst wearing a hazmat suit, and have kept ferment temperature at 18*C to within 0.001*C. I had a sample tested after the ferment finished (checked with a $10,000 refractometer) and it turns out the brew is 5 IBUs over the BJCP limit. I've thrown the brew out since it's clearly no good. My question is; how can I avoid this next time?"

:p

All said with due respect, mate.
Obviously, if it is outside of the BJCP requirements, it goes without saying that the beer is shit. Even 1/10th of an IBU out renders the beer entirely undrinkable. :rolleyes:
 
yes, for belgian doubles, you use double the hops, double the sugaz, and double the yeast. Obvious, its in the damn name...
That's all well and good, but I'm trying to brew an Ordinary Bitter. That means I can use ordinary sugar, right? Also, the BJCP says that I have to make it 25-35 IBUs. Is my can of Coopers Bitter going to have enough IBUs or do I need to dry hop to add some more IBUs?
 
Dear Butters,

I am a 14 year old bearded youth from Kabul. Can you tell me if it is easier to suffocate a kitten or to choke a chicken?
 
Dont fret GG. Coming from Yorkshire this pisstaking is nowt. Water off a ducks back.
Cheers
Steve
 
Dear Butters,

I am a 14 year old bearded youth from Kabul. Can you tell me if it is easier to suffocate a kitten or to choke a chicken?


The spawn of David Hicks?
 
What, no mention of gravel?? No poll??

You can't have a poll for everything, so maybe we should have a poll to see if it's worth having a poll, there's no use wasting valuable time on a poll if it's not going to be a good poll.
 
Seriously - we all know Butters as a fountain of knowledge and good bloke.
But I am still waiting for an answer on my re-culturing hops question. Sitting in my bathtub atm with it.
Is it safe to use dandruff shampoo or is that affecting the hops growth?
 
butters have you got any good crown lager recipes

Actually, I do. Add 4 kilo of white sugar to 23L of water, add 1/4 of a cup of gravy browning. Then pitch the following yeast.....

After noticing that the output from a boil on my back was very similar to what sits in the bottom of my fermenter after I'm done bottling, I thought I'd culture some up as an experiment. The result was interesting, and I've decided to market it under the name staphale.
 
And finaly, thanks for the sentiments, GG. I saw this thread go up right at the very start....I've just been sitting back, biding my time, laughing my guts up all day. No offense was taken, and I'm sure that no offense was intended, either by the OP or by any of the contributers. ;)

:ph34r: Well being the original poster I hope that you and others on here see it for what it was mate and if you have in anyway taken offence, which I am sure you haven't by the sound of it, then I am very sorry Mate. GG I agree whole heartedly with your sentiments mate and good on you for saying something but I can assure you my intention was very far removed from running Mr Butters down.

Butters and like Elk (you know who you are) make this forum and I reckon there are very very few here that have 2500 plus posts to their credit. Just think for a minute every post takes what, say 5 mins to respond to?, Butters not only imparts a big hunk of his time but also his knowledge to this forum. My point for this post was for those, especially the likes of Butters was to take the p#ss and air their frustration in a comical manner. We have all got to admit we see some crazy stuff get posted here, LOL the frozen chickens for example, but we also see a mind numbing amount of the same thing. "Why is my airlock not burping?"

The fact that Butters was the object of this post was simply because I read the "Kitten" rant (found Butters response hugely funny) and could feel the pain of yet another dumb question but to Butters and others absolute credit went on to answer the question, as he always does. The fact is Butters and a hand full of others regularly respond to the dumbest of the dumb to the best of the rest subject matters on this forum with the same encouragement and enthusiasim day in day out, I am very appreciative of that. But I have got to admit I also like the every so often big loose and rant.

So mate if your ever in Brisbane or if I get to Adelaide, I want to kiss (I will take my teeth out) and make up and buy you your fill of beer!

....sometimes a post like this is good for the soul
That's what I thought too!

This is classic, aussie's (and others) taking the piss. Thanks for the laugh guys.
Love your work butters, your a top bloke!
Agree!

Chappo, you'll need a sheep, a bottle top and some Khe Sahn and all your problems will be solved. :lol:
That's very true mate, can I borrow your sheep Baa Bra, a bottle top and your CC CD? Do I mash them at 70 for 90mins and what hops would you recommend?

Now Butters for the final time! My bloody airlock has stopped bubbling should I now bottle my beer?
 
yet another dumb question
It's not a dumb question, IMO. It's just lazy on the part of the person asking it for not doing a search first.

Picking on someone for not knowing something is poor form. Picking on someone too lazy to do a search... I'll take each one on a case by case basis I think :)

TBH, I asked my mate WarmBeer the exact same airlock question on my first brew. He answered, then pointed me here. Since then, the number of questions I haven't asked could fill half of this forum :)
 
Zebba - your right mate... wrong/poor wording on my behalf. There are no dumb questions just the ones not asked!

;)

Now do you have an answer to my airlock question or not?
 
Now do you have an answer to my airlock question or not?
I'm working on a new type of bottle top that has a spring assembly holding it down. When pressure in the bottle gets too high, the lid lifts and lets some of the pressure out. In order to stop infection, I then added a further housing around the neck of the bottle and the lid. This housing contains an airlock (which I have learnt is redundant in the actual main fermentation phase anyway). This contraption has multiple benefits:
1. No more bottle bombs
2. The housing causes a "toot" sound whenever pressure is released
3. The frequent "toots" are a sure sign that carbonation is working
4. When the "toots" stop, you can be assured that carbonation is complete and it's ready to drink!

If it works, I'll have to join in on an airlock bulk-buy as the cost could get excessive over a 50+ bottle batch...

If you are interested, I'll be happy to draw up a rough blueprint for you over lunch so that you can create your own.
 
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