Butters My Airlock Isn't Working? What Can I Do?

[atkinsonr]

in that case. Hey butters where is the best place to buy airlocks? can you organise a bulk buy?

ROFL.

Nice idea CM2. If you're going to do that maybe I should organise a kittens bulk buy?

 

[muckey]

ROFL.

Nice idea CM2. If you're going to do that maybe I should organise a kittens bulk buy?

better make it quick. I suspect butters is plotting his revenge at this very minute ( do I sense a new sig is about to make an appearance)

 

[Doogiechap]

It works out cheaper if you buy your sugar in 25 kg sacks.

To save more money, only buy your kits from the supermarket when they are on special.

One kit is plenty for two brews. Open the tin, pour half into the fermenter and put the tin away in the cupboard. Use the other half in the next brew, there may be a bit of mould on top but this won't hurt your beer.

Add 2 kg of sugar and a packet of yeast. When you bottle the batch, leave the sludge in the bottom of the fermenter, add the second half of the tin, 2 kg of sugar and top up with water. Saves on cleaning.

No need to buy fresh bottlecaps if you use twist tops. After you have finished your bottle of beer, rinse the bottle and retighten the lid. At bottling time, it is dead easy to just pop in some priming sugar, fill with beer and re-use the same lid.

I know someone who does the above red text with a Coopers Stout Kit .

PS The Frozen Chicken Comes from:

QUOTE(LovesToBrew @ Jul 26 2007, 11:52 PM) *

i tend to use the frozen chicken method. I get a frozen chicken still in it's vacuum seal bag, then put it inside another water tight bag (very important as raw chicken juice will give you food poisoning), and put it inside the fermenter. I find anything over a size 14 chicken is hard to get through the opening on the top. If you need to warm your wort, cook the chicken first.

 

[chappo1970]

I know someone who does the above red text with a Coopers Stout Kit .

Spill it! Who?

 

[unterberg]

ROFL.

Nice idea CM2. If you're going to do that maybe I should organise a kittens bulk buy?

Or even bulk choking kittens?

 

[Ducatiboy stu]

Butters..

I have a Goat, If I sprinkle sugar on him what will happen...


Will I need an airlock or will glad-wrap be enough

 

[chappo1970]

Or even bulk choking kittens?

Bawhahahahaha! :lol:

Seriously can you get those? :huh:

 

[lczaban]

There is a couple of groups of people who frequent this forum. The first group seem to be a group who like to use the forum as a pseudo chat room, and there is definitely a time and a place for this type of poster. The second is the type who uses this forum as a research tool and brewing knowledge resource. There is a lot of really useful information on here that is contained in the thousands of threads and posts that have been gathering since Dane & Co got AHB up and running. It doesn't matter what type of forum you happen to peruse (brewing or otherwise), one of the first thing any newbie has to realise is that 99% of their dumb questions have been dealt with before. By not being lazy and taking advantage of the search tool at the top RHS of each AHB screen, they can type in a couple of key words and generally get a plethora of knowledge that covers the problem at hand.

Of course there are two types of people who exist when it comes to solving a problem - those who ask questions and those who look for an answer. The idea of this forum is to provide a place where the less obvious questions can be answered by a range of people with a vast brewing knowledge. Now knowing whether your fermentation has started 24 hours after pitching your yeast because of a lack of airlock activity would fall into the Top 20 newbie question category - anyone who uses this forum properly should be able to find out the information they need to answer their questions without having to start a new thread.

To this end I find that this thread is pretty offensive to Butters. From the posts of his that I have read, he is most patient with new brewers and has an impressive amount of knowledge that he generously imparts to all and sundry. He would have to have answered all of the Top 20 newbie questions numerous times, and I can understand why he would get sick and tired of answering the same old questions because people are too lazy to do a proper search and spend 5 minutes trawling through some old threads or the "Please read this before posting" airlocked thread at the top of the K&E page. They assume that Butters will come to their rescue by either answering their question or by doing the search himself and posting a link to the appropriate thread. The fact that he comes across as sarcastic is not really surprising IMHO. The fact that people want to take this sarcasm and chastise him for it when they should have gone away and done their own homework is pretty poor form, and I think that they should take whatever criticism flows their way.

Start respecting this forum, treating others with more experience with respect (especially when you are starting out) and learn to use this resource properly. If it weren't for the likes of Butters, not nearly as many brewers would be churning out tasty beer. I for one hope that Butters sees this threat as a light-hearted ribbing and nothing more, as I think that AHB would be worse off if he decided not to continue contributing posts in a meaningful way.

Edit - sp

 

[unterberg]

Na mate I work at Uni and have to comply with animal ethics.
No choking of animals allowed but humans is a different story

 

[WarmBeer]

We only mock because we love.

 

[buttersd70]

Ok, to try and sumarise...

yes, for belgian doubles, you use double the hops, double the sugaz, and double the yeast. Obvious, its in the damn name...

Oh, and its SUGAZ people, get it right. There was only one person in this thread knowledgable enough to make a beeroclock reference....makes me wonder, you know...

Icing sugar is finely powdered sugar and a starch of some sort. So a/ it ferments quicker, because it is finely powdered, and b/ it aids in head retention.

The realtive speed of fermentation as determined by the fineness of the sugaz can be expressed mathematically....
S is proportial to size of the grains (in microns) divided by the number of grains, multipled by the yeast cell count. When using bakers yeast, multiply by a correction factor of 0.978885.

If you get a Brett infection, stop sleeping with Brett and sleep with Bruce instead.

If you pitch your brew whilst dressed like a morris dancer, and singing "I am a cider drinker" by the Wurzels (), you are almost guaranteed to end up with excessive acetaldehyde.

Wearing a condom whils brewing is a guarantee that you will not get an infection. For those that have an aversion to latex, a similar, but less effective method, would be to play "Safety Dance" by Men Without Hats whilst brewing. Unless you are wearing a hat at the time, in which case, it voids any protection the song gives.

In order to save money, urine is, without a doubt, one of the best sanatisers you can get. It is also incredibly cheap if you produce it yourself. If used as a no rinse, then you are almost guaranteed to end up with a West End Draught clone.

"actually the best one i heard (and it wasnt asked of butters) was a guy who froze chickens and put them into a sealed bag then dropped them into his fermentor to cool it down! sorry dude if your still on here and i offend you, but seriously thats gross and a bit silly."
the scary thing is, CM2 isn't making this up....I actually remember that post. Edit..doogie has quoted it. Classic. So instead of choking a kitten as an object lesson, maybe I should choke the a chicken. :lol:

Yes, double the sugaz makes it twice as good.

Bulk buying of airlocks may be possible, however I will not involve myself in such a thread, if it were to begin....mainly because a certain person starts to salivate whenever they see the words 'bulk buy', because they see it as another opportunity to 'stick it to the retailers'. I refuse to take part in any discussion with such a person, because basically, they're thick as shit and twice as wooden.

65C is too hot for fermentation. Thats just silly. Anyone that has ever caught a yeast infection from some scrubber in a back alley knows that the optimum temperature for yeast growth is roughly the same as body temperature, slightly higher if you want more cheesy esters. Poor personal hygeine is also a good alternative source of free yeast.

Adult shops are also a good source of mash paddles. Other items for sale in those types of stores can also be retro fitted to make functional (and humourous) stirplates.

And finaly, thanks for the sentiments, GG. I saw this thread go up right at the very start....I've just been sitting back, biding my time, laughing my guts up all day. No offense was taken, and I'm sure that no offense was intended, either by the OP or by any of the contributers.

 

[lczaban]

We only mock because we love.

I just hope Butters sees it that way... :unsure:

 

[bradsbrew]

There is a couple of groups of people who frequent this forum. The first group seem to be a group who like to use the forum as a pseudo chat room, and there is definitely a time and a place for this type of poster. The second is the type who uses this forum as a research tool and brewing knowledge resource. There is a lot of really useful information on here that is contained in the thousands of threads and posts that have been gathering since Dane & Co got AHB up and running. It doesn't matter what type of forum you happen to peruse (brewing or otherwise), one of the first thing any newbie has to realise is that 99% of their dumb questions have been dealt with before. By not being lazy and taking advantage of the search tool at the top RHS of each AHB screen, they can type in a couple of key words and generally get a plethora of knowledge that covers the problem at hand.

Of course there are two types of people who exist when it comes to solving a problem - those who ask questions and those who look for an answer. The idea of this forum is to provide a place where the less obvious questions can be answered by a range of people with a vast brewing knowledge. Now knowing whether your fermentation has started 24 hours after pitching your yeast because of a lack of airlock activity would fall into the Top 20 newbie question category - anyone who uses this forum properly should be able to find out the information they need to answer their questions without having to start a new thread.

To this end I find that this thread is pretty offensive to Butters. From the posts of his that I have read, he is most patient with new brewers and has an impressive amount of knowledge that he generously imparts to all and sundry. He would have to have answered all of the Top 20 newbie questions numerous times, and I can understand why he would get sick and tired of answering the same old questions because people are too lazy to do a proper search and spend 5 minutes trawling through some old threads or the "Please read this before posting" airlocked thread at the top of the K&E page. They assume that Butters will come to their rescue by either answering their question or by doing the search himself and posting a link to the appropriate thread. The fact that he comes across as sarcastic is not really surprising IMHO. The fact that people want to take this sarcasm and chastise him for it when they should have gone away and done their own homework is pretty poor form, and I think that they should take whatever criticism flows their way.

Start respecting this forum, treating others with more experience with respect (especially when you are starting out) and learn to use this resource properly. If it weren't for the likes of Butters, not nearly as many brewers would be churning out tasty beer. I for one hope that Butters sees this threat as a light-hearted ribbing and nothing more, as I think that AHB would be worse off if he decided not to continue contributing posts in a meaningful way.

Edit - sp

I have only just skipped through this thread and had a bit of a chuckle. And I am only laughing at the posts because I know Butters is a respected contributer and his input is valued and this is a good old aussie pisstake on a mate. Not that Ive ever met the guy or know him.
Take a chill pill dude.
Cheers Brad

Edit - Oh yeah I only read the first2 sentences and last paragraph of your post so I hope I didnt miss anything important.

 

[muckey]

If you pitch your brew whilst dressed like a morris dancer, and singing "I am a cider drinker" by the Wurzels (), you are almost guaranteed to end up with excessive acetaldehyde.

very dissapointed butters. Thought you of all people would know how evil morris dancers are and that this could only result in a roont brew.

Oh, and I thought it was spelt coiyderrrh h34r:

 

[Ducatiboy stu]

I like the mix of Humour and knowledge of this site.

BOTH of which I contribute to h34r:

Hopefully Butters will see thru this, and I am sure he will... :beer:


GG....A lot have been on here for a long time....sometimes a post like this is good for the soul

 

[mwd]

very dissapointed butters. Thought you of all people would know how evil morris dancers are and that this could only result in a roont brew.

Oh, and I thought it was spelt coiyderrrh h34r:

Hey Morris Dancers have you seen James and Oz tour of Britain before the rest of us ?

Name changed to BMC dancers in 1975 after the Morris Marina was introduced.

 

[flattop]

Like the idea of icing sugar, that way the head will set hard and i can crack it with a straw to drink it!

 

[Pollux]

What, no mention of gravel?? No poll??

Oh, and I want to be able to identify my fermenters, can I buy colour-coded airlock grommets??

 

[wambesi]

This is classic, aussie's (and others) taking the piss. Thanks for the laugh guys.
Love your work butters, your a top bloke!

 

[InCider]

Chappo, you'll need a sheep, a bottle top and some Khe Sahn and all your problems will be solved. :lol: