The Worst Commercial Beer!

Australia & New Zealand Homebrewing Forum

Help Support Australia & New Zealand Homebrewing Forum:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.
Hmmm....Boags St George. I'd previously voted for Byron Bay Beer and Bluetongue lager, but I'd drink either of those any day over Boags St George. Man, is that stuff even beer?
 
I don't much like Carlton Draught - it's got a soapy flavour and gives me a headache. I'd pick New or VB over it any day if that was the choice. I was also pretty disappointed with Hunter Draught, although the Hunter Old is pretty nice.

A few people have mentioned JS Amber Ale. I'm generally quite a fan but I've found the quality varies considerably. The worst examples I've found had a cat's piss aroma.
 
VB. Just cannot get my head around it (even as a quencher)
I have a problem with not liking beers. Beers all have their own qualities. Sometimes it just takes a six pack in a session to appreciate them ;-)
 
Then I did a couple of sessions of tasting via blind triangle tests and blind flights; and learned to mostly shut up. It seems that where I am capable of actually telling the difference between two beers (one which I previously like and one I hated) then I am also prone to picking out the beer I thought I disliked as the best in a flight.
Hence my point about this being subjective. If you like a beer it is much more than flavour. We are all victims of marketing and various bias. Someone told me the other night that they won't make a kolsch because they like alts for example. So the beer we consider the "worst" is a function of all these bias'. It being technically accurate or not isn't really the point. There is a place for real analysis but I don't think that is the intention of this thread.

I also like to analyse beers and went through the whole process of studying for and sitting the bjcp exam. I still have my bias'. When asked to judge or analyse a beer we put aside our bias and analyse a beer to the best of our ability. When asked what I think is the best or worst that takes into account all the other stuff.
 
Sorry Croweaters, but anything brewed in South Aust cannot be described as beer.
I remember in the bad old days, some 30 years ago, the brewery workers or truck drivers would regularly strike just prior to Christmas and supplies would quickly run out. We would then travel throughout Melbourne trying to find an outlet with beer left, going from pub to pub and finding a "no beer" sign out front.
Sometimes you'd find a pub that would have some but would limit you to 6 cans. Truly, very sad days. However, one Saturday night, Y&J's had a sign out front- "Packaged Beer, No Limit". In we went to be told it was Canberra Draught (or Bitter, Lager or something) and it's a good beer. So we buy a slab and head down to the Yarra River to sit and enjoy a drink but upon tasting it we disovered a most vile, foul tasting liquid that resembled the smell of cats piss. Upon looking at the fine print on the can we found the dreaded words- "Product of SA Brewing Co", an evil company if ever there was. Needless to say, we threw the rest in the river and that's why to this day people criticise the Yarra for its uncleanliness. So first you ruin our river, then you ruin our football league. ;)

mental note......no beer for Davewalk......and anyway, they labelled it correctly when they put 'Canberra' on it. They were just sending some shit beer to the pollies, your fault for drinking it :)


It is funny how the surroundings can make a difference. I hope none of you guys with an 'advanced palate' ever get the opportunity to work in say Vanuatu or Samoa for extended periods during summer...

Vanuatu Brewing's 'Tusker' is a very lightweight beer as is Samoa's Vailima. I am sure many here would treat them with derision, however, after a few weeks, they grow on you. None the least because they are light-weights, when it is 40C and 110% Humidity day after day, the last thing you want is a heavy beer.

For me the worst I have tried, was in Tassie and it was "DLite" or some such rot - A diabetic, low cal abortion. Mind you this was the late 80's (in Bicheno) when Millers Lite was also being sold....

Vailima is right up there on my worst beers list, along with Fiji Bitter.

By a wide margin I think the worst commercial beer I have had is Beez Neez from Matilda Bay. I can't stand that stuff. I would even rather drink vb.

Someone bought a six of this around thinking it impress me. I was impressed by their effort, but sadly the beer left me not wanting to finish the bottle.


Others that come to mind fairly quickly are:
XXXX (well and truly up there)
Cristal (Quilmes) ...yuck. God knows why it's so popular over in S.America
Bintang (so many have been refused to fly because of that stuff....:) )
Lion Brown, Lion Red, DB Draught.........................................................................
..
ANYTHING with the CUB logo on it in it or near it.
Reschs Pilsner

And I'm sorry all those who have had better experiences than I, but I have yet to try a commercial english beer that I coult drink, just one. And as for serving them at room temp............ :(
 
<abbrev>Each to his own, tho. Each to his own. I might wake up one day and discover my palate has changed, but I really doubt it.
</abbrev>
I remember this guy who worked with my organisation as a financial advisor. He found that he was drinking Tooheys New instead of his beloved VB, but didn't qustion his change of taste at the time. Next thing he knew, he was in hospital with meningitis (IIRC) fighting for his life. He sez that it (the beer thing) was an early symptom of the illness.
Luckily he made it through and now owns a pub near me. I say he never got over the meningitis, if he still drinks either beer.
I don't know him too well, and would never expect a shout from the publican anyway (read as "tight@rses" - how they got to own a pub in the first place probably)...especially if it's one of the above beers.

Seth :p
 
Get some VB, some Fosters, some Tooheys New even some Crown or $x and do a proper blind tasting, a real assessment of the beers, use a BJCP scoresheet if you want, or do a compare and contrast.

Now wait on a second K,

Who is actually going to buy these? There is no way that I would waste my money on any of those brands any more, even for a test to PROVE they are shite. Maybe 10 years ago I would have, but certainly not now!
I can't see Lion Nathan or Fosters supplying samples for such a test either, they won't exactly come up smelling of roses...
 
Worst beer I've had at a pub was a scharers lager. drank it at a pub in pyrmont.. terrible. tasted soo wrong.

was with 2 other AHB, ISB members.. we all struggled to drink it, with some not empty glasses being left on the table
 
Now wait on a second K,

Who is actually going to buy these? There is no way that I would waste my money on any of those brands any more, even for a test to PROVE they are shite. Maybe 10 years ago I would have, but certainly not now!
I can't see Lion Nathan or Fosters supplying samples for such a test either, they won't exactly come up smelling of roses...

Blackbock
PM me with your account details and I will personally deposit funds to cover a stubby each of VB, Fosters,Tooheys New, Crown and 4XXX..about $12 by my reckoning..ON the condition that you will fully assess them (blind or otherwise..I don't care) AND post your results..for my part..not only will I pay for your beers but I will do the same myself AND post the results.

K
 
(blind or otherwise..I don't care)

What sort of beer should we drink to get blind before we move on to the megaswill?

Blind is about the only way many of us would willingly drink that crap. :p
 
I was a great believer that there are no bad beers.
Well, some just are better then other.
Homebrewers have a habit to slag VB and like for bad beer.
I think i have found one that is worse.

Little Creatures Golden Ale.
It taste like a brewweiser munich lager brew wirh kiy yeast heavily oxidised. :D lol
Seriously it is incredible bland.
I brew a lager that turned out a bit thin and only had an IBU around 25 that tasted more then that with HSA.
"Blow me down" as Captain 'You know who' would have said.

What you worst commercial beer? :ph34r:

carlton cold by a mile id rather drink warm milk
 
What sort of beer should we drink to get blind before we move on to the megaswill?

Metho ?????
(for preference not megaswill metho though)

K :)
 
Metho ?????
(for preference not megaswill metho though)

K :)


Metholated Spirits or Methanol?

One will kill you, the other will send you blind.

As for Commercial beer - I will NOT drink:

Leffe Blonde - three of us (two Home Brewers) had three litres to drink, and couldn't finish a Stubbie.
Toohey's Extra Dry, or Extra Dry Platinum
VB - only had one Schooner. One was enough.
Kent Old Brown.

I've been to the Little Creature's Brewery in Freemantle. Its a great spot, and nothing beats brewery fresh beer (except your own).

That'll do.
 
Mountain Goat Pale Ale - blergh! I donated my glass to a native melbournian who could stomach it.
 
I back up the Formaldehyde assertion. Worst beer I ever had was Egyptian Stella. Apparently the Mummies arent the only thing in Egypt preserved with formaldehyde :ph34r:

Even the (now faint) memory of this beer makes me feel like wretching. :huh:

Festa.

I'm with you Festa,
I was banished to Port Saide for about 8 months with work a few years back and the only Anaesthetic I could get there was the Stella (or a very dangerous heart stopping scotch).
I would rate it up there with the worst beer ever. You could sit down to a well earned beer at the end of a dusty day, have about 6 or 7 stubbies then they would slip in a dodgy 1, (and because if you were silly enough to drink 4 or more of these your judgement was generally compromised, you would drink that one too) that would have you stuck to the bog for the next 2 days.

Next Foriegn dogies would bein order:
The "Oragibom" (not sure of spelling, but think it came from europe somewhere) that was smuggled into Sudan in the tanks of oil trucks while I was there 10 years ago. Not completly sure the sick feeling didnt come from the crude oil suck in the rim of the cans or the beer itself.
Next is "Solbrew" from the Solomon Islands. It starts out fairly good but after a few weeks being stored in the summer sun under a couple of sheets of iron out the back of the Point Cruz Yacht club, it tends to get a bit stagnent.

The all time worst Aussie beer would have to be Hahn super dry or Tooheys Platinum

Cheers and Beers
 
mental note......no beer for Davewalk......and anyway, they labelled it correctly when they put 'Canberra' on it. They were just sending some shit beer to the pollies, your fault for drinking it :)
Vailima is right up there on my worst beers list, along with Fiji Bitter.
Someone bought a six of this around thinking it impress me. I was impressed by their effort, but sadly the beer left me not wanting to finish the bottle.
Others that come to mind fairly quickly are:
XXXX (well and truly up there)
Cristal (Quilmes) ...yuck. God knows why it's so popular over in S.America
Bintang (so many have been refused to fly because of that stuff....:) )
Lion Brown, Lion Red, DB Draught.........................................................................
..
ANYTHING with the CUB logo on it in it or near it.
Reschs Pilsner

And I'm sorry all those who have had better experiences than I, but I have yet to try a commercial english beer that I coult drink, just one. And as for serving them at room temp............ :(
i vote for any beer made in the south west pacific the worst of them all is sol brew from the soloman islands its a shit of a beer and comes in two strengths strong and i think my car will run on this
 
i vote for any beer made in the south west pacific the worst of them all is sol brew from the soloman islands its a shit of a beer and comes in two strengths strong and i think my car will run on this

I didnt mind Tusker last time we were there. Mind you, in that humidity, cold cat pee would probably be refreshing. The bloke I was staying with (he lives there) buys them direct from the brewery, so they might be fresher (or, at least, had less time to be ruined), than buying it from other places.

Must say it was a great trip, love the French influence (apart from the French themselves of course ;) )... Wander into the "city" and sit in a little bakery drinking beer and looking out over the harbour.

More on topic, 4X
 
You have one of the worst right there in your avatar pickledkiwi2 - Speights gold medal bland cold fizzy adjunct riddled sweet caramelly amber lager.
 
You have one of the worst right there in your avatar pickledkiwi2 - Speights gold medal bland cold fizzy adjunct riddled sweet caramelly amber lager.

:excl: Thems warring words to a 'Southern Man'

Being from Auckland however I heartily agree.

Joseph Kuntz (I think the spelling is right) - insipid, flavourless lolly water of the early 80's - made by Dominion Breweries (I think) to complemet the rest of their sweet flavourless swill.

RM
 
Back
Top