Hardest thing you've ever done.

[malt and barley blues]

Reading of Black Devil Dog's loss (commiserations mate ) reminded me of the hardest thing I have ever done when the vet advised that our Staffy would have to be put down after finding a large tumour.
The first injection to drop her failed even though the vet told me it was the same dose as would be given to a Labrador, she stood there legs shaking watching me with that look of love and trust, eventually she dropped and the fatal dose was administered.
I couldn't speak for hours after and the first thing I said was , No more damn dogs though that never lasted even though it was at least 25 years ago that look on her face is emblazoned on my minds eye and still brings a tear to my eyes.

 

[GrumpyPaul]

Having to put our beloved dog down a few months back I understand and empathise with anyone that has been through it.

For me, the hardest thing ever done was going though the experiences that ensued after our son was bashed a few years back.

The good news is he has made an almost full recovery - but that period was the toughest of my entire life.

This went on for a long time with so many "tough" moments.

• A call late on a Saturday night from the hospital - "something has happened to you son, can you please come straight away." (they don't like to tell you bad news over the phone - so they don't tell you anything at all).
• The surgeon talking to us after the emergency surgery telling us he had 60:40 chance of surviving at all.
• Finding out 3 days later the extent of his head injury meant the surgery involved cutting away a large section of skull to relieve swelling, and that a section of his frontal lobe was so badly damaged it had to be removed...we would not know the extent of brain damage until/if he came out of coma
• Sitting by his bedside as he was coming out of coma when my son didn't even know who I was.
• Months of watching him go through rehab literally learning to walk, talk and do everything again.
• Getting him home eventually and sitting down as a family for dinner everyone trying to ignore (or at least not be put off their dinner) by the fact that he was dribbling have of every mouthful down his chin.

I'm stopping that list now - it's depressing me.

As I said he has made virtually a full recovery - back at work, drives a car, live independently now - so it has a happy-ish ending, but that period included a lot of the "hardest things" I have ever had to endure.

 

[Forever Wort]

Reading of Black Devil Dog's loss (commiserations mate ) reminded me of the hardest thing I have ever done when the vet advised that our Staffy would have to be put down after finding a large tumour.
The first injection to drop her failed even though the vet told me it was the same dose as would be given to a Labrador, she stood there legs shaking watching me with that look of love and trust, eventually she dropped and the fatal dose was administered.
I couldn't speak for hours after and the first thing I said was , No more damn dogs though that never lasted even though it was at least 25 years ago that look on her face is emblazoned on my minds eye and still brings a tear to my eyes.

Death is an awful thing, but unavoidable suffering is worse. Sometimes death is the only way forward for those who can live. And I think dogs in particular are happiest expiring near their owner, their life partner and benefactor.

GrumpyPaul: that shit is fucked. What else to say? I hope the person/people responsible have been found and held to account.

 

[wide eyed and legless]

Really sorry to hear that mate, a friend of mine was killed by a bit of stupid horseplay and it was his best mate who pushed him just down 3 steps hit his head in the wrong spot and that was it. Can't stand those bullies who go out specifically to bash someone, was driving along through St Kilda a couple of weeks ago and I saw a bloke belting his girlfriend, I pulled up and got out but realised that not in the best of health at the moment could not go in to help her having to be careful of bleeding, got my phone and shouted the police are on their way and the pair of them took off.

 

[philmud]

Watching my mum die of cancer 7 years ago tops my list. She was in her late 40s and had young kids still, so it was pretty rough on my family. She died just over a month before my wedding too, so it was a pretty raw few months. You also think that things get better after a person dies, but they don't always. Lots of family tension that stemmed from one person's grief being so loud there wasn't room for other people to deal with things. Jesus this is a morose thread, take care guys!

 

[Mardoo]

An Incomplete List

Watched my wife's chronic pain get much worse after the surgery that was supposed to make it better.

Telling her over and over that I can't stay home to help you through the day since we need the money from my work. Like this morning. **** I hate it.

Calling my mate's parents to tell them they needed to fly out now, as their son was in ICU with a brain injury (motorcycle). Helping them bury him 18 months later after he had a complete recovery similar to Paul's son, but didn't block the wheels on his car when he jacked it up. Fell on him.

Reading Paul's story above. Fuckin' hell mate, I feel for y'all. Good to hear it's improving, but that right there is hell.

Trying to help my best friend's girlfriend make sense of life after he dropped dead for no apparent reason.

My wife's and my lot is slowly improving as we start a daycare at home together so that I can stay home every day. That's such a relief. I'm down to three days away at work now.

 

[GrumpyPaul]

Liking posts in this thread seems a bit wrong - as if you are "liking" what people went through.

My likes are an acknowledgement and show of support for you all. And they are definitely likes for the comments and recognition of my story.

Cheers

 

[spog]

Telling mum that dad had died,telling mum that her brother had died.

 

[klangers]

Having to say goodbye to my grandfather when he chose to die of pneumonia rather than of advanced prostate cancer... and we all knew that he'd be gone in 24 hours.

2 months later, having to write the eulogy of my best friend who was randomly stabbed to death with a shard of glass by a person who had such severe schizophrenia that they thought my mate was the FBI. He was 22 and his mum had died from a sudden heart attack the year before, leaving only his brother and his dad.

Only recently, a repeat of my grandfather but this time my grandmother, and with a kidney infection.

 

[VP Brewing]

Sitting with my wife at the moment in ICU at the Royal Melbourne. She is only 28 and been thru more shit already than most people do in a lifetime but still manages to smile even when they can't get any more blood out her arms. It's funny how in the shit times all the little things that we take for granted mean so much. It's my 30th this thurs and all I want is a couple of good days for her before then and a nice beer before I go back to the hotel

 

[yum beer]

Sitting by my daughters side for 3 days as she fought off meningococal, she was only 2 1/2.
Cried as we danced at her Debut earlier this year.


Taking the wife to see the surgeon tomorrow to find out how bad her breast cancer is and what he will be doing next week to try and fix the problem, she's only just turned 40 and its freaked her pretty bad, she's convinced that she is riddled with it. Worst part is she's never been wrong with medical shit up till now.
Hope she's wrong this time.

 

[philmud]

Jesus Belgian & Yum, sounds like the "hardest thing" for you guys is current. Hope things work out for both of you!

 

[spog]

All the best to you all.

 

[Black Devil Dog]

Sad to read about the tough situations that some of you are going through with your loved ones. I wish you well and hope that things work out for the best.

 

[pike1973]

I thought that the worst thing that I would go through would be that my now ex-wife slept with my best mate and my marriage was over , I also lost a person that I thought was my friend.
But no that wasn't that bad at all because I am now in a great marriage with the best woman ever.
The worst thing in my life was having to give evidence against my brother that was charged with the murder of my mum. He was charged and convicted of man slaughter he has made an appeal and won't know the outcome until later this year, it has been a pretty intense time of my life and I have had a lot of support from all my wife's family . I miss my mum all the time she would of loved the beer I brew now , she didn't mind a beer sometimes.
Adz.

 

[wide eyed and legless]

I tried a few times to write last night to give advice to those families affected by cancer, fighting it myself at the moment I thought I would be qualified, but each person has a different approach and my advice didn't look to empathic, ( my wife tells me I am pure Anglo Saxon with a touch of Viking and a trace of Aspergers ) but I am sorry for every ones predicament.
Prince Imperial one bit of advice I can give to you, as your mother passed away from cancer is to get yourself checked regularly and back off from smoked meat, the reading I have done suggests smoked meat or char grilled meat is a cause for cancer.
Death isn't quite as final as one would think, no I am not religious, genes are passed on and while someone is alive who thinks about you you will still be alive.

 

[yum beer]

If we were meant to skate through life we would have wheels on our feet.....

As Scar say's in Lion King; 'Lifes not fair, is it.'

Sometimes it throws you curve balls, knocks you down, picks you up and throw's you down again.....the emotion of life is the challenges that we must endure and overcome, some alone, some together with loved ones, but they all shape the people we are and the people we become.
The last 4 years of my life have been both terrible and fantastic, high and low, good and bad and I'm sure these patterns will continue to play out till I return to whence I came in the first place.
To all experiencing shit in their lives, I wish you the best and a quick exit from such situation.
To those who are living good and happy, hold it and appreciate it, it can turn very fast.

 

[philmud]

The worst thing in my life was having to give evidence against my brother that was charged with the murder of my mum. He was charged and convicted of man slaughter he has made an appeal and won't know the outcome until later this year, it has been a pretty intense time of my life and I have had a lot of support from all my wife's family . I miss my mum all the time she would of loved the beer I brew now , she didn't mind a beer sometimes.
Adz.

Wow Adz, that's intense! Sorry to hear that, I can imagine it's like losing your mother AND your brother. It's good that you have support.

Prince Imperial one bit of advice I can give to you, as your mother passed away from cancer is to get yourself checked regularly and back off from smoked meat, the reading I have done suggests smoked meat or char grilled meat is a cause for cancer.
Death isn't quite as final as one would think, no I am not religious, genes are passed on and while someone is alive who thinks about you you will still be alive.

You're right, especially as Mum had colorectal cancer. I had a colonoscopy this year and will continue to monitor it. I believe that a high fibre diet and moderate consumption of the bad (but oh so good) stuff is the best way forward. I'm also a prime candidate for skin cancer owing to an Irish complexion a stupid decision to use a solarium when I was 22.
I also agree re: the transference of life through genes. I see mum in my siblings and in my own kids and it's an enormous comfort.
Best of luck with your own struggle at the moment. I hope the outlook is good and the outcome is even better!

 

[wide eyed and legless]

Confession time for me, at first I was going to put that the hardest thing for me was selling my business 2 years ago after seven years hard work and living overseas for a lot of that time, the adrenalin rush I got from work, it was like a drug I loved it, but my wife wanted me to spend time at home with her and my daughters.
After reading the posts above I now realise it was the BEST thing I ever did, lots of things can happen in life so its best to make everyday count and get as much out of life as we can.

Prince each time you have a colonoscopy ask to have the gastroscopy at the same time ( just make sure to ask the to do the gastroscopy first ) What I was reading was stomach cancer was the biggest killer in the days when smoked and salted meats was the only way of preserving meats.

 

[zooesk]

I would like to start by say I'm sorry to here everyone's misfortunes the world can be a terrible place sometimes but what happens to us in the past is what makes us the people we are today.
I thought the hardest thing for me would be not getting to say good bye to my mum who died of an asthma attack when I was 7 we also share a birthday which just so happens to be today happy birthday mum.
But the hardest thing was to turn the life support off on my 4 mouth premmy one day old son, we had twins and the misses water broke she spent two months in hospital before the boys wanted out bens lungs just didn't get there he just wasn't going to make it rip buddy his brother brayden after 2 more months in hospital made it and you wouldn't even know he almost didn't make it he is 3 now thanks for listening