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Hangover Ratings

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Ross

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Hangover Ratings


1 star hangover

No pain. no real feeling of illness. You slept in your own bed and when you woke up there were no traffic cones in there with you.

You are still able to function relatively well on the energy stored up from all those vodka and Red Bulls.

However, you can drink 10 bottles of water and still feel as parched as the Sahara.

Even vegetarians are craving a Cheeseburger and a bag of fries.


2 star hangover

No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay but you have the attention span and mental capacity of a stapler.

The coffee you hug to try and remain focused is only exacerbating your rumbling gut, which is craving a full English breakfast.

Although you have a nice demeanour about the office, you are costing your employer valuable money because all you really can handle is some light filing, followed by aimlessly surfing the net and writing junk e-mails.


3 star hangover

Slight headache. Stomach feels crap. You are definitely a space cadet and not so productive.

Anytime a girl or lad walks by you gag because the perfume/aftershave reminds you of the random gin shots you did with your alcoholic friends after the bouncer kicked you out at 1:45 am.

Life would be better right now if you were in your bed with a dozen doughnuts and a litre of coke watching daytime TV.

You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 2 Sausage Rolls and a litre of diet coke yet you haven't peed once.


4 star hangover

You have lost the will to live. Your head is throbbing and you can't speak too quickly or else you might spew.

Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze.

You wore nice clothes, but you smell of socks, and you can't hide the fact that you (depending on your gender) either missed an oh-so crucial spot shaving, or, it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the dodgems.

Your teeth have their own individual sweaters. Your eyes look like one big vein and your hairstyle makes you look like a reject from a second-grade class circa 1976.

You would give a weeks pay for one of the following - home time, a doughnut and somewhere to be alone, or a Time Machine so you could go back and NOT have gone out the night before.

You scare small children in the street just by walking past them.


5 star hangover

You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actually annoying the employee who sits next to you.

Vodka vapour is seeping out of every pore and making you dizzy.

You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth.

Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva, so your tongue is suffocating you.

You'd cry but that would take the last drop of moisture left in your body.

Death seems pretty good right now. Your boss doesn't even get mad at you and your co-workers think that your dog just died because you look so pathetic. You should have called in sick because, let's face it, all you can manage to do is breathe ..... very gently.


6 star hangover

You arrive home and climb into bed.

Sleep comes instantly, as you were fighting it all the way home in the taxi.

You get about 2 hours sleep until the noises inside your head wake you up.

You notice that your bed has been cleared for take off and is flying relentlessly around the room.

No matter what you do you now, you're going to chuck.

You stumble out of bed and now find that your room is in a yacht under full sail.

After walking along the skirting boards on alternating walls knocking off all the pictures, you find the toilet.

If you are lucky you will remember to lift the lid before you spontaneously explode and wake the whole house up with your impersonation of walrus mating calls.

You sit there on the floor in your undies, cuddling the only friend in the world you have left (the toilet), randomly continuing to make the walrus noises, spitting, and farting. Help usually comes at this stage, even if it is short lived.

Tears stream down your face and your abdomen hurts. Help now turns into abuse and he/she usually goes back to bed leaving you there in the dark.

With your stomach totally empty, your spontaneous eruptions have died back to 15-minute intervals, but your body won't relent.

You are convinced that you are starting to turn yourself inside out and swear that you saw your tonsils shoot out of your mouth on the last occasion.

It is now dawn and you pass your disgusted partner getting up for the day as you try to climb into bed. She/he abuses you again for trying to get into bed with lumpy bits of dried vomit in your hair.

You reluctantly accept their advice and have a shower in exchange for them driving you to the hospital.

Work is simply not an option.

The whole day is spent trying to avoid anything that might make you sick again, like moving.

You vow never to touch a drop again and who knows for the next two or three hours at least you might even succeed.

OK, now hands up all those who have never had a six star hangover!!

Thought so!!
 

muga

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Very accurate indeed.. time for some more beer :D :)
 

Samwise Gamgee

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ROFLMAO! :lol:

I just had flash-backs to Easter week-end, my last 6-star hang over with about a dozen burst capillaries (sp?) under each eye. That night started in style (Chimay White) but lets not talk how it ended :ph34r:
 

Kramer

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Had a few 6 stars but got a lift to work instead of the hospital, and its right the boss dosen't say a word! Too scared I think.
 
B

bindi

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It's like a sportsman, you must keep in training, and only 2 AFDs last year I am at my peak. 2 down and ? to go. :chug: :blink: No hangover for over 12 months. :beer:
 

jgriffin

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I remember two 6 star hangovers and will forever and a day.
The lesser of the two started badly with pints of Reschs (sp?) being quickly consumed over games of pool. Everything after that is a blank, until i woke up at home the next day when my flatmate came rushing into my room to btch about the fact that i had managed to come home, cook up a huge tomato pasta, and then somehow spilled about 3 gallons of the stuff around the house. I exagerate not when i say it was even on the ceiling.

The worst hangover of my life was when i was invited to a (rich) family members 40th. All of us were put up in the hotel for free.
I remember sitting down at the table at dinner drinking wine, and being a coupld of drinks "behind" so i sculled one of them. Last of the memory, although tales of shots on the bar, and venturing out to some nightclubs abound.

I awoke in the morning lying in the shower in a pool of vomit. I crawled my way out, over to the toilet, to discover that was also full of vomit. So i dragged my way to the sink, to discover even more in the sink, on the bench, and all over the mirror, at which point i realise that it is all over the floor too.

I leave the bathroom, to discover vomit on the walls and down the hall, and even over the bar. I decide to go lay down in bed - no go, the bed is also covered in it. The lounge is my next option - nup no go.

After a few minutes of dismay, i decide to leave the room, and go an collapse in the hotel pool for a while, hoping that my head may be slightly helped by the cool water.

In the end, i just left the hotel room as it was - i just walked out, and caught a lift home with a mate, dry retching with every bump in the road on the way home.

It took me about 3 days to recover from that hang-over, and i have never ever "caught up" in the drinks stakes ever since.
 

Ross

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John,

I reckon we better put your swag in the downstairs toilet on brew day - make life easy for you LOL - that's a classic that's very hard to beat...

One of my best was discovering that the new season Beaujolais from France had arrived in my local pommie pub on billiards night - so switched after a few pints to drinking bottles of red - downed 5 bottles for my sins... On getting home, laid down on the sofa & promptly fell asleep - woke in the small hours in the throws of bringing it all back up - there was no way of reaching the toilet & not sure my legs would have worked anyway, so in a panic not to stain our new sofa & carpets (had moved in a couple of months before), I grabbed what I thought was a shopping bag - spewed - smiled to myself at my success - & promptly passed back out again.
In the morning I was woken to my wifes screams - she thought I'd brain haemorrhaged, as there was claret everywhere - over me, the sofa, the floor & to cap it off, the bag turned out to be my wifes light leather tan handbag - it was full to the brim with claret soup... The relief that I was still alive, apparently made up for all the damage & she even drove me to work, as I was far to pissed still to drive... What a woman :D :D
 

Vlad the Pale Aler

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Ashamed to say that many years ago I had 6*+ experience, and yes a hospital was involved.

Never, ever again.
 

jgriffin

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He, reminds me of a cousins wedding when another non-drinking relative was sat at a table with one of my other heavy drinking relatives. Apparently the alternated between jugs of wine and beer, until someone realised that the non-drinker was nowhere to be found. A frantic search was conducted, and after some time he was located unconscious in a well out the front of the reception place. Having ambulances called to a wedding reception sure spices things up.
 

Bilph

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Vlad the Pale Aler said:
Ashamed to say that many years ago I had 6*+ experience, and yes a hospital was involved.

Never, ever again.
[post="76902"][/post]​
I've done a 6+ as well.
It's much simpler.
Cuts out many of the steps.
You can't get out of bed and everything - yes everything - happens in the comfort and warmth - soooooooo many varied :eek: sources of warmth - of your own bed.
:(
Edit: Actually, it was someone else's bed. I honestly couldn't do anything about it. Honestly.

I haven't been past 3 stars since.
 

Jazzafish

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Yeah,

With me it is either a 1 to 2, if not a 6 or higher... no in between. A runny grog bog is a standard though!

Many blackouts in the drunk, what happened last night stage, but a lottery to the next day. Sometimes a 1, sometimes a six, even post blackout.

It is funny though, my ass will vomit at the same time as my mouth, calling for a bucket and a dunny to catch it all.

Worst one was a New Years Eve a while ago, camping on a beach. Got to the point of a bottle of absenth when standard drinks ran out. Try being hung over on a 6-7 scale with no toilet, limited sun hot water, no shade but a sauna of a tent on a 40*C day!

Painful
 

Doc

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I've had a number of 6* events. I seem to have grown out of them thank goodness (although there was one a couple of weeks ago in fiji after many fiji bitters, a hippy of Jack Daniels and a 1 litre bottle of 8 yr old Wild Turkey) ........ Luckily none have ended in hospital.

I remember being at a 21st, getting home around 4ish absolutely blind, only to have to get up and catch a train at 7am to the airport to get a flight to the South Island for a best mates 21st. After losing my stomach on the train and the plane I got picked up by a mate who took me straight to his place to sleep it off. A few hours later I was back in action at the 21st doing a repeat performance, and then turning up at my parents place mid the next morning (ie just before sun-up) unexpected and unannounced. Ah student days were carefree.

I think I'll stop there.

Beers,
Doc
 

Kai

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Speaking of hospitals, that reminds me of an an 18th birthday celebration I attended a while back. I thankfully was not at the 6-star point, but I do remember a friend and I screaming out the incomprehensible part of Korn's Freak on a Leash (I was 17, forgive me) while cruising down the main street of town in the back of a ute while taking the birthday boy to hospital. The hospital wouldn't take him, so he spent the night on someone's floor doing his best darth vader impression into a bucket. I reckon he had a 6-star hangover in the morning.
 

Ziggy-san

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I had a decent fiver about three weeks ago (boys night in...) and I was the only one who couldn't (not wouldn't -- COULDN'T) make it to work. I stood up and my legs collapsed. Still have a bump on the head from the dunny.

I don't think I've ever hit a sixer, though I've come damn close... I'm usually saved by the fact that one of my drunkie friends is nearing alcohol poisoning by the time I'm that knockered so I have to help them stay awake and purge-rehydrate-purge-rehydrate and I usually follow along with the rehydration.
 

PostModern

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I had a boss who called the 3* "Tuesday". She has at least two six stars a month. Saw her the other day, arriving at the office at midday and smelling like gin (even tho she's a wine drinker). Probably a 4* that day.

Been a while since I've had a 6* on a work night.... last Xmas party I think was a 5*.
 

warrenlw63

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Couple of my best (or should that be worst) efforts.

Incurring the wrath of the sister-in-law for completely missing the bowl and pissing all over her brand-new washing machine. At least the vomit made it (sorta) :blink:

Being as seedy as buggery and going scuba diving. Ever decided to start dry-reaching with a regulator in your mouth 30 ft under water? :rolleyes: Gets a little scary.

Thing that I really regret (note I never drink-drive anymore and have not for about 15 years). I woke up one morning and realised I must have driven my car home... It was parked in the middle of a rather busy road about 7 feet from the gutter with the driver's door still open. <_<

Probably lucky to be alive when mate did the same with me in the back one night. He was quite pissed (and most probably pilled up). He decided to drive his Fairlane with me asleep in the back straight through the brick wall of the unit I was living in at the time. I wound up upside down on the front seat.

Luckily for the both of us. The alcohol cushioned the effects. Thankfully you live and learn.

Haven't had a real hangover for about 10 years. Thankfully I've got a mechanisim that tells me when to stop these days... It's called maturity. ;)

Warren -
 

Wortgames

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Unfortunately the only safety mechanism I have is called passing out :(

(it seems 'ageing' is inevitable, but 'maturing' stops at desirable).

Ross, our little adventure at the Lambsgo Bar left me with about a 5.5... :party:
 

archimedes24

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Only had a few real bad episodes in my life.

Worst one was in uni. Two one litre bottles of Bacardi mixed decreasingly (first it was 50/50, by the end, it was just drops for "color"). Pile in a whole pizza and a dozen spicy chicken wings. Stir liberally...

Last thing I remember was going up to the 3rd floor of the dorm to see my then girlfriend. Trying to keep my guts in, I opened a window "to get some fresh air". A mate of mine was keeping an eye on me and saw the inevitable. He grabbed my shoulders and said, "Just lean out real far".

Next morning I awoke to someone knocking on my door. Stumble to the door w/ a screaming headache and it's the guy across the hall. Pulled up his blinds and showed me my now dried technicolor yawn dried to his window.

It was still there 2 years later. :ph34r:

When I got back to my room, I slept for another 5 hours or so (thankfully it was Sunday, so I had all day to recover), and when I woke up to shower, I had to do a double take in the mirror. I'd hurled so hard that I'd bruised just the inside half of both of my eyeballs when they were pressed against my eye sockets.

Yeah...good luck explaining that one away... :rolleyes:
 

Ross

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Wortgames said:
Unfortunately the only safety mechanism I have is called passing out :(

(it seems 'ageing' is inevitable, but 'maturing' stops at desirable).

Ross, our little adventure at the Lambsgo Bar left me with about a 5.5... :party:
[post="77009"][/post]​
But you showed true courage meeting me the next night for more :chug:
We certainly downed a few that night :beer:
 

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