Farting

[schooey]

Fried onion and LCPA does it to me...if we have steak and onion sangas and I'm drinking LCPA, the wife will sleep in the spare room. My most memorable fart came after drinking two stubbies of skunked Swan Lager...

You know when you're driving and you cut one and you gave that first little sniff for quality? Well that made me turn my nose up a bit and let out a Eeerrk! The second whiff and on came the hazards and it was a huge veer to the left coupled with a skidding stop. I was outta the car before it stopped and did all that I could to stop myself spewin.

Took me twenty minutes to get back in that car...and that was with all four windows down. You could still smell that ******* in that car months later. It was ingrained into the seat

 

[bum]

So am I the only one looking into skunking some beer right before the next roadtrip?

Couldn't possibly be. Watchout, SWMBO. I shall have my revenge yet!

 

[Dave70]

The apprentice use to fall asleep in the ute sometimes on the way to the job.

On the occaision in question, it was the Monday morning after a dinner of meat lovers pizza with extra garlic and anchovies was washed down with a six pack of porter.
Think 6 am, winter time, windows up, claustrophobic Hi Lux cab.
I knew it was bad, I was almost a little ashamed - you know that theres about a 50/50 chance of follow through, but you take the punt.

First I saw his nose twitch, then his face contort and twist into a knot of disgust, then his body kind of convulsed as he made a desperate grab for the window winder whilst calling me rude names featuring the 'C' word and dry retching.

Geez
You think a plumber would have had better tolerance to a poo cloud..

Happy days..

 

[the_yobbo]

The aroma of my farts aren't necessarily better or worse from homebrew, but the quantum of gas definitely increases. Numberous Sunday mornings I've woken up hung over with my body telling me it's time for the grog bog. I wander to the toilet leting off a little gas each step. Sit down on the loo and let out a loud constant fart that last so long you could tune an entire orchastra to it.
The first time it happened I chuckled to myself at the shear awesomeness of the fart. Since then, each time I think to myself "I could have stayed in bed after all".

 

[Bandito]

A combination of a few beers, a worm tablet and an antibiotic results in about 6 hours of farts. One every 5 mins, and not small ones. Its an emergency evacuation of the house after the second hour.

For beer by itsself, bitburger is the worst.

 

[staggalee]

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Winnnnaaah and still the Champ.......

stagga.

 

[Fodder]

Sorry to drag up an old thread. But this one had me giggling my arse off at work...everyone wants to know whats so funny :huh:

 

[Linz]

Girls, don't fart!

That's because they don't usually shut up long enough to build up the required pressure!! :blink:

I enjoy dropping a fart as I pass through the Perfume floor in Myer or DJ's, letting the vapour trail do its horrible job.

Also known as 'Crop dusting'. :icon_vomit:

 

[peas_and_corn]

 

[staggalee]

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Winnnnaaah and still the Champ.......

stagga.

I`ll back the Frenchman against the pommy anyday. :lol:

 

[Mayor of Mildura]

**** i haven't laughed this hard in ages. i thought i was the only one. it is so comforting knowing there are others out there.

 

[petesbrew]

That's because they don't usually shut up long enough to build up the required pressure!! :blink:




Also known as 'Crop dusting'. :icon_vomit:

Brilliant! I'll remember that!

 

[petesbrew]

My 2yo son farted the other night, and spun around to see where it came from.
Absolutely Pissed myself laughing.

 

[King Nothing]

I was staying in the hospital with my wife after our son was born. My wife was just out of the shower and I was holding the little one, lying on the bed. A midwife had just finished checking him and I thought she had left. The whole time I had this cracker stored up that was churning my guts like a cement mixer.

I let this enormous, reverberating one off the leash. At this point I saw the midwife's feet, between the door and the curtain inside the room that acts as a privacy screen. She stopped moving, and my wife yelled out "Was that you?"

I blamed it on the little one.

 

[Deebo]

I dont know if it was the cold farm air or the sausages and onions or the beer or the fire smoke but I did my most rancid fart in the morning after a camping trip / bonfire.

Missus didnt want to get up to take a look at the remnants of the bonfire, so I was putting my shoes on and let one rip in the tent.
I had one wiff and couldn't beleive I made that and got out of there quick smart she got up pretty damn fast also.. and that is the story of my smelliest fart.

I beleive it was a combination of sausages onions coleslaw and james squire pilsner.. lethal combination.