A Few Funnies

[Crusty]

A suicide bomber runs into a pet shop and yells, "you've all got one minute to get out!"
The tortoise at the back of the shop shouts, "you *******!"
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Whats the difference between light and hard?
You can sleep with a light on.
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A man walks into a petrol station and says, "can I please have a KitKat Chunky?"
The lady behind the till gets him a KitKat Chunky and brings it back to him.
"No," says the man, "I wanted a normal KitKat, you fat cow."
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My wife, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me one of these mood rings so she could monitor my mood.
We discovered that, when I am in a good mood, it turns green and, when I am in a bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on her forehead.
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I was at a cash machine when an old lady came up to me and asked to check her balance.
So I pushed her over.
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Zebo, a half blind five year old south african orphan, has to ride 7 miles a day to school with only one leg on a bicycle with buckled wheels and no brakes. Give just small donation of 2 dollars and we'll send you the video, it's hilarious....
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I had a dog named minton who had an unfortunate habit of eating shuttlecocks.
Bad minton.
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Two men are in a pub. One says to his mate "My mother-in-law is an angel". His mate replies " Man you're lucky "... Mine is still alive..."
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A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide.
The librarian says; Rack off, you won't bring it back."
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:lol: Crusty

 

[Boozy the clown]

New Clown on the block?

Wasn't that an 80's band?

 

[Crusty]

Nah,
That was new skids in ya jocks.
:lol: Crusty

 

[warra48]

Minton must be a relative of my dog. She is insane, so we called her Syndrome.
She only knows one command : Down Syn.....etc

 

[bconnery]

----------------------------------------------------------------------- Zebo, a half blind five year old south african orphan, has to ride 7 miles a day to school with only one leg on a bicycle with buckled wheels and no brakes. Give just small donation of 2 dollars and we'll send you the video, it's hilarious.... ----------------------------------------------------------------------

:lol: :lol: :lol: