Stupid things you have done on brewday.

[Online Brewing Supplies]

Ahh, the old strangle hold...

But Cocko told me he likes it !
Nev

 

[citizensnips]

Doing Biab
Dough in
Forgot the bag

 

[hsb]

Everything running smoothly, fire up the H/EX in readiness for recirculating, wait 10 minutes, just enough time to let the element in the - completely empty H/EX - melt.
The only saving grace was that I hadn't wet the grain yet so could at least save that.

*Note to self #42 - H/EX is first vessel filled on any brewday!


Note to self #2 was never ever dump spent grain in the drain overflow in the backyard, that took 6 months to really clear out and smells that will never truly leave me, but it just seemed so conveniently placed at the time.


The gas bottle shooting out flames stuff on p.2 is scary. Remember camping one time and seeing the campsite next door suddenly shoot a 20 foot high tower of flame straight up in the air, still not entirely sure how they managed it, no one hurt thankfully.
I never leave the burner unattended for this kind of reason.

I don't drink until it's in the cube either, my potential for abysmal failure is just far too high if I've touched a drop.

 

[Mikedub]

Doing Biab
Dough in
Forgot the bag

I've done that also, though realised after doughing in just the first 100g, remember thinking how cool the grain looked reflecting off the bottom of the urn as it went in, then thinking WTF is wrong here

 

[Yob]

Oh yeah.. That one time.. At bandcamp.. I put a teaspoon of PBW in the mash thinking it was 5.2... Wasn't till I put the container back in the cupboard and saw the 5.2 sitting there I realised that keeping both tubs near each other was a bad idea... they look identical from above. Ha!

 

[Edak]

On bottling day I eye out every bottle to verify that it is clean before sanitising it, forgot that one already had some starsan in it when I held it up to the light, think flooding your eye with starsan... Rinsed for 10 mins straight under cold water and (probably during the rinsing) I got some sort of bacteria in my eye.

Eye got infected, required operation to drain it.


Vision is now slightly blurry in that eye...

Edit: Clarifying my engrish.

 

[Mikedub]

[SIZE=10.5pt]telling SWIMBO I'll be finished brewing at x o clock, so we can go out to the thing she had planned, [/SIZE]

[SIZE=10.5pt]x o’clock comes around and I explain I’m nowhere near finished as the step mash took longer and I’ve had to adjust my boil time due to a lower than expected efficiency, [/SIZE]
[SIZE=10.5pt]I think where I went wrong is I mentioned, after her 10 minute animated response, that a low OG at this mash temp will not balance out the IBUs[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10.5pt]Have since built in a 2 hour buffer, [/SIZE]

 

[sponge]

[SIZE=10.5pt]telling SWIMBO I'll be finished brewing at x o clock, so we can go out to the thing she had planned, [/SIZE]

[SIZE=10.5pt]x o’clock comes around and I explain I’m nowhere near finished...[/SIZE]

I learnt after the first time this happened to always add on an extra 2hrs for any possible issues that may be encountered during the brew day. How foolish of me to think everything will always run smoothly...

 

[Adr_0]

[SIZE=10.5pt]telling SWIMBO I'll be finished brewing at x o clock, so we can go out to the thing she had planned, [/SIZE]

[SIZE=10.5pt]x o’clock comes around and I explain I’m nowhere near finished as the step mash took longer and I’ve had to adjust my boil time due to a lower than expected efficiency, [/SIZE]
[SIZE=10.5pt]I think where I went wrong is I mentioned, after her 10 minute animated response, that a low OG at this mash temp will not balance out the IBUs[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10.5pt]Have since built in a 2 hour buffer, [/SIZE]

that's awesome "But you don't understand - I need to make sure my OG will balance out the IBU's..."

 

[winkle]

I left a decent amount of starsan in a cube, filled it with wort and realised near the end that something was wrong with the volume. I brewed the same receipe the next weekend so I had a 'normal' batch and then decided to have some fun with the slightly dodgy batch. I fermented on the yeast cake from the good batch, dumped in all my left over odds and ends of hops (quite a bit), at the end of fermentation I had other things going on so I couldn't keg it so I dropped the fermenter to -8 degrees figuring that would buy me some time. I eventually kegged the results (without letting too much of the ice melt). It's not the most balanced beer and I'm certainly not going to be able to reproduce it but it was a bit of fun. I might bring a bottle to the next BABBs meeting for sh**s and giggles.

I'm sure I've done plenty of other stupid stuff but that was the most disappointing at the moment I realised what I'd done.

Note to self - "No thanks Ed, I'm driving" next BABBs meeting.

 

[Fish13]

Ring jyo. h34r:

repeat offender

Funny, I had a prank call the other night but it was from some high-pitched drunk girl!

lol did she offer to milk your prostate....

That was cocko with a "little bit of help" from Nev.

nev just found out i caught a huuuuuuge fish
cocko was the tool he took it out on

Thats my normal voice you pricks!

lol all i can think of is bam meagaras mate... trying to hit on his wife.

Ahh, the old strangle hold...

is wayne grady going to have to choke a bitch?


Walked away to cook dinner and had a boil over. not once but twice. Lucky it was outside. Dinner was awesome roast chicken and potatoes.
Have done the run out of gas thing too.

 

[citizensnips]

I've done that also, though realised after doughing in just the first 100g, remember thinking how cool the grain looked reflecting off the bottom of the urn as it went in, then thinking WTF is wrong here

haha I did the exact same thing, remember thinking how good it looked and couldn't figure out why.....then it hit me. Difference was I had 6kg in there.... :mellow:

 

[Fish13]

Tried to look after 3 kids under 3 years old

I'll raise you 4 kids under 4 and #3 is a walker and #4 is a crawler. The eldest is a good helper though. I do try to brew when they are a sleep (#3 and #4 that is) and let #1 and #2 play outside while i brew

 

[Tony]

tried to crack a kg of pilsner malt for my first ever partial experiment.

I followed instruction from the internet that said to wrap it in a T-towel and crack it with a rolling pin.

you will never fully understand how stupid this idea is until you try it!............ I dare you

Next stupidest thing was when one night at about midnight, while cubing an IPA after WAAAAY too many beers, the cube started to tip over when it was almost full. I lurched down and grabbed the handle to stop the cube going all the way, and as i did, my hand passed through the stream of 95+ deg liquid pouring from the open top. I remember thinking........ Ahhhh crap that's burning me, and then thinking..... well I'm burnt now, no point losing the beer as well. So i stood the cube back up and spent 2 hrs with my burnt hand under a running tap. I removed my wedding ring and it took half the skin off my finger with it. OUCH!

Third on my list is when i was recently emptying infected bottles of old ale that had sat in my garage for years. I was just casually taking the caps off and tipping them out. Untill i got one that was on the verge of explosion.
When i started to turn the cap it went BOOM, and fired the cap into my face, hitting me in the nose with the sharp edge, bouncing up into my eye socket and then flying 10 meters across the yard.

I felt like i had been king hit in the eye and i instantly put my hands over my eye, and it felt wet. I thought i had popped my eyeball and ran inside to find my wife. Was just blood thank god.

 

[seamad]

Mate I'm gutted, why did you put that photo up ?
Made plenty of your beers and they've all been crackers. As I've been drinking them the picture in my mind of you as a caveman with some dental hygiene problems has further enhanced the experience, to find out you look like a bit of a chinless 12 year old, well, your beers will never taste the same again.
Next thing I'll be finding out is manticle is not some drunk irish singer and yardy is not in possesion of some wonderful bouncing bosoms.
At least I am as handsome as a bull terrier.

 

[Oakers]

Mate I'm gutted, why did you put that photo up ?
Made plenty of your beers and they've all been crackers. As I've been drinking them the picture in my mind of you as a caveman with some dental hygiene problems has further enhanced the experience, to find out you look like a bit of a chinless 12 year old, well, your beers will never taste the same again.
Next thing I'll be finding out is manticle is not some drunk irish singer and yardy is not in possesion of some wonderful bouncing bosoms.
At least I am as handsome as a bull terrier.

holy crap..that's a rough comment but i haven't laughed so hard in a long time!

 

[WarmBeer]

Mate I'm gutted, why did you put that photo up ?
Made plenty of your beers and they've all been crackers. As I've been drinking them the picture in my mind of you as a caveman with some dental hygiene problems has further enhanced the experience, to find out you look like a bit of a chinless 12 year old, well, your beers will never taste the same again.
Next thing I'll be finding out is manticle is not some drunk irish singer and yardy is not in possesion of some wonderful bouncing bosoms.
At least I am as handsome as a bull terrier.

I do regularly tell people to bite my shiny, metal ass, if that helps maintain the illusion.

 

[431neb]

Squirted my garage door opener (the machine not the clicker) with a jet of hot water courtesy of a brass bottle washer that sometimes sticks. It's never been the same.

Not as funny as various bottle washing assistants getting hosed in the chest with aforementioned hot water.

Actually the dumbest thing for me was was on bottling day. I was bottling some Aldi Cider on a sunny arvo so I put the tilt door on the garage halfway down to block the sun. Curious to see what the cider would be like carbonated, I went into the house to get a sodastream bottle. As I walked back to the shed I was fiddling with the lid on the deformed bottle ( don't put sodastream bottles in the washing machine ) and BAM! Headfirst into the corner of the garage door. It took a nice scallop of meat out of my forehead ( I found it stuck to the garage door later) and left another little bit dangling by a thread from my forehead.

I ate Christmas lunch at the outlaws place with a bandaid on my forehead like a retard. I still have a scar but the cider was a big hit - so to speak.

 

[Cocko]

I do regularly tell people to bite my shiny, metal ass, if that helps maintain the illusion.

And I often use the phrase: "Say hello to my little friend.." If that helps.

 

[Tony]

Mate I'm gutted, why did you put that photo up ?
Made plenty of your beers and they've all been crackers. As I've been drinking them the picture in my mind of you as a caveman with some dental hygiene problems has further enhanced the experience, to find out you look like a bit of a chinless 12 year old, well, your beers will never taste the same again.
Next thing I'll be finding out is manticle is not some drunk irish singer and yardy is not in possesion of some wonderful bouncing bosoms.
At least I am as handsome as a bull terrier.

:lol: sorry about that.

If it helps..... i stole that photo off a chinless 12 year old on the internet and made up the story!

Now back to my cave to count my rice gulls