Stuff Your Kids Say

[petesbrew]

My 16 month old boy Jake came out with a pearler on the weekend.
Me, Jake, and a mate were standing round his BBQ, then Jake said "Barbecque".
Yep, Maybe it was a fluke, stringing three blabbers together, but we were stoked.
Then later on he followed it up by pointing at my bottle and said "Beer".

His three other words are Car, Ball, and Dadda, and reckon's all animal roar.
What a legend. I couldn't be more proud.

 

[Barley Belly]

They just melt ya sometimes

 

[Pollux]

My daughter has made some awesome comments.

"Daddy, I put the hops in, it's my special job, I'm a good jobber"
"That's grain, hops, yeast and beer" While pointing out the pictures on my AHB t-shirt to people who look at it with a confused look.

She refers to the local Vintage Cellars as the "beer shop" and Amatos as the "special beer shop".

 

[Pennywise]

My 3yo helps me crack the grain, and looks after the pack of yeast (if dried) untill it goes in. I always teach him what grains are what and what they do. Last Poter I done, I was cracking some choc malt, and as usual, he grabs a few grains and starts chomping on them, asks, what's this one, I say "that's chocolate grain mate", I get a funny look and he reply's "That's not chocolate daddy", the tone of his voice was a killer.

Another funny, well not really funny at the time, but funny now. I droped the F bomb at some stage earlier that day. Walks up to mum later on and says "I don't say f**kin, you don't say f**kin, daddy says f**kin". Let's just say there was a little chat about how daddy's are very silly sometimes, and that noughty words are very silly words. He doesn't like being called silly so that sorted him out. Dad has to watch his mouth now

 

[petesbrew]

My 3yo helps me crack the grain, and looks after the pack of yeast (if dried) untill it goes in. I always teach him what grains are what and what they do. Last Poter I done, I was cracking some choc malt, and as usual, he grabs a few grains and starts chomping on them, asks, what's this one, I say "that's chocolate grain mate", I get a funny look and he reply's "That's not chocolate daddy", the tone of his voice was a killer.

Another funny, well not really funny at the time, but funny now. I droped the F bomb at some stage earlier that day. Walks up to mum later on and says "I don't say f**kin, you don't say f**kin, daddy says f**kin". Let's just say there was a little chat about how daddy's are very silly sometimes, and that noughty words are very silly words. He doesn't like being called silly so that sorted him out. Dad has to watch his mouth now

Haha, I ran out of gas on the bbq once & muttered "Sonofabitch". Daughter turned around with a big smile on her face and said "Beach? Are we going to the beach?".
Close call, but from what SWMBO's heard her daycare friends say, it'd be nothing.

 

[Katherine]

My 3yo helps me crack the grain, and looks after the pack of yeast (if dried) untill it goes in. I always teach him what grains are what and what they do. Last Poter I done, I was cracking some choc malt, and as usual, he grabs a few grains and starts chomping on them, asks, what's this one, I say "that's chocolate grain mate", I get a funny look and he reply's "That's not chocolate daddy", the tone of his voice was a killer.

Another funny, well not really funny at the time, but funny now. I droped the F bomb at some stage earlier that day. Walks up to mum later on and says "I don't say f**kin, you don't say f**kin, daddy says f**kin". Let's just say there was a little chat about how daddy's are very silly sometimes, and that noughty words are very silly words. He doesn't like being called silly so that sorted him out. Dad has to watch his mouth now

That reminds me of my daughters swear jar.... she has gotten up to $40 at a party once.

 

[peas_and_corn]

Once at the supermarket a kid kept repeatedly throwing stock on the ground and trying to step on them. It took all the restraint in my body not to punch the little shit in the head.

 

[Mitternacht Brauer]

My 4YO daughter let out a fart at the dinner table the other day and with a cheeky grin wiggles her finger like a snake towards her mum saying "look out ,here comes the stinky" .With priceless comments like these its hard not to laugh.

MB

 

[yardy]

when my daughter was about 3 i took her for a 'proper' cut at the local hairdressers, she was a bit of a cutey and soon had the old blue rinse girls fussing over her, one of the old dears asked her if she knew about stranger danger, my daughter replied the following..

"if daddys friends do come to the door you do say come in"

"if strangers do come to the door you do say **** off"

cheers

 

[MarkBastard]

I don't have any kids but when I was at a BBQ with mates around christmas time I took my party keg setup down there and one of my mates sons was mesmerised by me pouring a beer from the tap. He kept asking if he could have a go so I gave in after a while and soon enough he was pouring perfect pints. I felt a bit guilty and was thinking am I a bad influence etc and then when his mum came over he was explaining to her how you pull the tap 'and the water comes out here' hehehe. Innocence.

 

[Pennywise]

My 4YO daughter let out a fart at the dinner table the other day and with a cheeky grin wiggles her finger like a snake towards her mum saying "look out ,here comes the stinky" .With priceless comments like these its hard not to laugh.

MB

:lol: :lol: Gold

 

[MVZOOM]

On the swearing thing.. my 2.5 y/o (who has been talking for too long already) was sitting by herself on the stairs, waiting to get in the car. She was trying to ram 2 dummies into her 'andbag and failing dismally - probably because of the sheer amount of crap in said bag. Reaching the point of frustration, which is quick at 2.5 years, she uttered - under her breath - 'For fu$k's sake' - and kept trying.

I need to watch my language more..

 

[Fireman Sam]

Children are a mirror of their parents - so clearly mine are screwed !

We went to the football (yes I am a round ball freak, so this was a Victory match). No 1 son (who was about 11 at the time) was complaining about something, too cold, not enough food or something or other. So No 2 son (was 9 then) turns around and politely informs him to.... toughen up princess !

Pi$$ed myself laughing.... SWMBO wasn't overly impressed, but...luckily he hadn't heard the full version of the version we use in fire brigade !

 

[bconnery]

Plenty of embarassing stories to not say but a couple of beer related ones...

Sitting in his chair the other day my two year old, totally out of the blue, exclaims "I like beer!"
After we'd finished laughing we got the video camera to record the moment, and of course it took ages for him to repeat it.
For now though, because of the reaction he got, he says "I like beer!" whenever the video camera appears...

Some friends were around and had received two glasses of beer from the tap and had raised them to their lips for a taste when my 4 year old daughter bailed them up..."No! You have to smell it first!"

 

[petesbrew]

I said "What the..." the other day.
My daughter finished off the sentence for me.
Yep, Time for me to kerb my tongue.

 

[Pennywise]

The other night I asked my son to pick some of his toy up off the lounge room floor, because I was tripping over the bloody things. Little shit looks up at me and says, "you talking to me?" Had a bit of a laugh at that one, cheeky little bugger

 

[Muggus]

Don't have any kids myself, but my 3 year old nephew refers to anyone he doesn't know the name of as "old mate".
They're learning young these kids!

 

[petesbrew]

Worth bumping this thread.

Son's at daycare with his playmates all sitting in the toy car frame.
Teacher asks them where they are going. Responses like "beach, fishing, park, shops"... he comes out with "Limo".

 

[.DJ.]

my two year old was in the bath last night, tipping water into a jug and said "Daddy I making BEER!"

also when you ask her "Whats in beer" she replies; "HOPS!!"

 

[brettprevans]

Bad habit if saying jesus fkn christ. Nit normally in front of kids, but both my 3 &4 yr olds have finished it iff when ive said jesus.. Stopped myself, they finished it off. they haeve done it at the same time also. Bad daddy. I wasn rt popluar with the missus

I dont beleive in organised religion but tge missus is religious. So I get ' u dont believe in god' a bit. One day I replied by daying 'no, daddy belives in other things', the 4yr old paused and then said 'like beer'. Bless her