No Topic Thread

[Lincoln2]

My wife and youngest bloke are crook as with the lurgy. So I offered to cook dinner and wandered down to the IGA to get the ingredients.

Just at the fruit & veg, I reached into my pocket to get the list and as I pulled it out something fell out of my pockets and rolled under the tater stand.

I didn't know what it was so I got down on my hands and knees to look under the stand.

I saw that it was a bottle top so I just got up and walked away.

I had been drinking Feral Hop Hog at my neighbours shed in the industrial estate - he is a panel beater/spray painter and is anal about rubbish, so I had been putting the bottle tops in my pocket.

As I was walking away, a shop assistant followed me and asked: "Excuse me sir, were you looking for this bottle top?"

And I said: "No, it's okay, you can keep it."

Then I spent too much money buying stuff that wasn't on my list.

 

[panspermian]

Downloaded AHB onto my phone. Now I can read forums while taking a bog.

 

[BottloBill]

^^^blog and bog^^^

 

[QldKev]

Hopefully no blogs about his bogs

 

[wide eyed and legless]

You know you've got a goodun when at 6.10am, still in bed, you can roll over (after being awake for the past hour) and tell you're missus that you believe, or are hoping you've got rid of your recent spate of infections by giving a concise description of how you cleaned the gunk build up in your kettles ball valve......and she gets into the conversation by asking how, what did I use to clean it with, what did the infection taste like, was the taste in the fermenter or when you kegged it rather telling you to shut the **** up and go back to sleep!

I have a nasty habit of doing the same to my wife, wake her up at 2 or 3 am in the morning and have a meaningless conversation with her, more to see how far I can go, but she just talks back it could be a woman thing, liking to have a conversation.

I must say though the Viagra episode of 2011 was a different story :lol:

 

[Mardoo]

Hopefully no blogs about his bogs

They do exist. No, no linky. Once was enough.

 

[Dave70]

Went to a Thai restaurant I know does a good curry last night for the wifes birthday, and they dont **** around when you order it green.
For the fourth time today I've just paid the price. Oh. It hurts - so - much..

 

[spog]

Keep a dunny roll in the freezer for that soothing effect.

 

[Ducatiboy stu]

 

[Mardoo]

http://youtu.be/ZS_CQkPavyc
Accurately conveys my experience of having the hottest chile meal of my life and then tripping balls about four hours later.

 

[Kumamoto_Ken]

Easter Island style heads made from Carlton cartons appear (and disappear) from Tuggeranong Parkway, ACT....that's a lot of Carlton Draught.

http://www.canberratimes.com.au/act-news/canberra-life/tuggeranong-parkway-cardboard-sculptures-get-heads-talking-20150831-gjbfry.html

 

[Ducatiboy stu]

Accurately conveys my experience of having the hottest chile meal of my life and then tripping balls about four hours later.

What do tripping balls taste like ?

 

[Mardoo]

Spicy

 

[manticle]

Working on a drawing, everything going well, suddenly blood drips out my nose and onto the page.

Been watching this:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jvI2WCmjuOk

And listening to this
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=E0mjJl0CAoU

But there's no connection. And you'd be a fool and a communist to make one.

 

[Ducatiboy stu]

But there's no connection. And you'd be a fool and a communist to make one.

Makes about as much sense as that 2nd clip

 

[manticle]

Bill hicks reference.

 

[Fents]

so who was the AHB'er with the "Simple Really" Tshirt on, hitting golf balls up at the La Trobe golf driving range on fathers day? You hit some cracking shots mate with the milk bottle on the ground to keep ya club straight . Hope my little 4 year old didnt put you off to much, his mouth was running overtime.

 

[mckenry]

Just had one of those annoying calls from India claiming to be telstra and that I had viruses and hackers all over my PC and they would fix it for me. Instead of the usual hangup, I went with them. SHE! got me to run eventviewer to be shocked by all the warnings and errors. Then she directed me to a website, www.telstraserver.somethingdodgy.com
I didnt go there, but when she asked what I could see (getting to this point took forever as they get you to type one letter at a time then tell them what youve typed, then what can you see FFS) thats where I had my fun.
Me: "Its a menu"
her: "What does it say"
Me: "Butter chicken $8.50"
her: "What?"
Me: "Thats not bad! And Lamb Vindaloo $10.50 - includes garlic naan."
her: "You think youre smart?"
Me: "Smarter than you"
Then the language! She called me Mr. Mutha Fxcka, mutha fxcka, F you Mr Mutha Fxcka
I said: "Ive captured your IP address and good luck with everyone else Mrs Mutha Fxcka"

Gave me a smile on a Monday.

 

[Ducatiboy stu]

I had one of those calls a while back

Them " Hello , we have detected a virus on your computer ?
Me - Really, is that bad
Them - Yes. We will help you fix it
Me - Cool. What do you want me to do
Them - We need you to click on the start button in the bottom left corner ( now I run Linux, so I ran with it )
Me - yeah ok, now what
Them - Open up such and such then go to this site
Me- yeah, done that, now what
Them - What do you see on the screen
Me - Um...some bloke with his penis in this girls mouth
Them - Sir, you are on the wrong place. Please go to such and such
Me - yeah, sorry my mistake
Me- Ok, there now
Them - Ok, what is on your screen now
Me - Well its 2 blokes ( NSFW)
Them - Sir, we really need you to go to such and such
ME- OK, but I am running Linux
Them - OK, minimise it and hit the start buttn
Me - But I havnt got one
Them - Sir, it is in the bottom left
Me - No it isnt
Them - Sir, I assure you it is there
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
30mins latter they where still trying to get me to hit the start button. I left them on hold for a while to do other things.

 

[Kingy]

After a few beers thought id open the six pack of six strings IPA I got for Father's Day. Longest Tuesday today ever. Wish I didn't drink them all now.....bloody nice but. Never get sick of them beers.