My worst fear about my kids has been realised

[bjbear77]

Simple solution really:

Don't let your kid go!

 

[glenwal]

Like a few people have said already is probably just words being twisted around.

My kids do the same stuff, turning a simple "yeah sure [now go away]" into a magical world where i suggested it to them and I've insisted that have do it.

It's probably a case of talking about video games, the kids saying can we come around and play them and the guy (not thinking) saying sure.

That said, I wouldn't bet my kids safety on it, so I'd definitely be raising it with the centers management.

 

[Bribie G]

I distinctly remember when I was 8 and had a crush on the lass next door I said to my Mam "Eileen's mother has said it's ok to go next door for a sleepover".
Obviously it didn't get approved.

Personally I'd mention it to the management and get the carer's side of it, so even if there were a grain of truth then at least he'd know to pay attention to his conversations with the kids in future.

Yes, fraught times we live in. For example I never answer the door to trick and treaters anymore, I can imagine what would happen if one of the sweet little girls went home to the folks and said "that man at unit no. x showed me his penis".

It's one reason that teachers aren't allowed to hug distraught kids anymore, and a reason that it's so hard to get men to coach kids sports or become scout leaders etc. I'm surprised that the carer as a man is still prepared to work in the profession.

 

[real_beer]

Its a big one. The center is really good and I dont want to bring them down for the sake of one person. They have been going there for a few years.

I pray to beer that it was an inocent remark...but it didnt come accross that way

Now you think there could be a problem you can actively monitor the situation.

Talking to the person concerned without bringing up what your son said first might give you more insight into the matter than raising it straight away.

My eldest girl has worked in day care since leaving school 12 years ago. When I used to drop her off at work the kids would go crazy to greet her, if the parents got the same reaction when they came to pick them up I didn't see it much. Once you raise your concerns publicly there's no way of taking the damage that arises from it back, not that you shouldn't, just have as much to go on before you do.

It's great your listening to your son and if history is anything to go by nothing has happened to your son already because their usually too afraid too mention it if it has. As the parent you have to make the call yourself, your the one on the spot & no one else can call it for you, I'm glad it's not my call. Good luck.

 

[pcmfisher]

I assume you have talked to your son some more about it to see if you can scope out the situation a little better?

 

[droid]

the bloke probably didn't say anything other than yeah I've got a play station too and I like playing blah blah, kids just make shit up, my little fella told our golf pro that he uses callaway like Phil mickelson...and that Phil copies him

Talk to the guy directly if you can't do that calmly then get someone else to do it

 

[Fylp]

It is a hard call. I'm a teacher and I am paranoid. About saying the wrong thing about anything. I won't work back with female students unless there are at least 3 of them and stopped lunch detentions in the classroom with individual students.

I also had my son's childcare worker say that if we were stuck she would baby sit. She looked after him from 1 year old and genuinely cared for him. If if was a fella would I think it more than a friendly remark?

I'd say have a chat. If if doesn't feel right, then it probably isn't.

 

[mckenry]

Stu,
I really hope all goes well in the end, but if youre going to get serious, cops, etc, you need to be 101% sure your kid remembers it exactly correctly. I studied child psychology for a while, and the 'memories' that come out of their mouths, compared to the actual event can vary dramatically.

So, just saying, you could ruin this guys career, but you might be right in doing so.

If you want a good read about memories, google 'I shook hands with buggs bunny' Its not quite the same scenario as this, but it goes to show that memory is so unreliable. I hope it was a comment your kid didnt understand the context of, but you also have to be aware of the dangers.

Tough situation. I feel for you. If it was me, I'd approach the guy himself and get a bit in his face and see how he copes. You'll 'feel' what you need to do next.
Good luck.

 

[Ducatiboy stu]

I am not some one who confronts

I think it will be best to talk to the centre manager, she actually ran the pre school where they went to, but has moved to this place, so she knows the kids from a young age

I will also be discussing it with my ex as well

I think its better to talk with them rather than me just walk up to him and start questioning him.

 

[panspermian]

My boy is only 5 months. I read that first post and understood immediately, ******* scary shit.
Currently booking him into childcare, far out I'm worried.
I want to be ultra vigilant.
Been a shooting down here in Parramatta this evening but I'm still more disturbed reading that post.....

 

[Ducatiboy stu]

My boy is only 5 months. I read that first post and understood immediately, ******* scary shit.
Currently booking him into childcare, far out I'm worried.
I want to be ultra vigilant.
Been a shooting down here in Parramatta this evening but I'm still more disturbed reading that post.....

I have had no issue with pre-school, daycare, OOSH..all of those things

They are a true godsend to working parents.

If anything I thing they are very benificial to a childs development as it helps to make friends and build social skills

I am lucky living in a regional town where everyone knows every one and reputation is everything.

Yes my sons comments scared me, and I am still mulling it over and will chase it up, but I wont be taking vigilante action.

Kids will be kids, but hearing that does prick ones ears up big time

 

[spog]

So.. i pick up my kids from their holiday center today and the youngest, who is 8.5 pipes up

" Dad, ***** ( one of the carers ) wants me to go around to his place so we can play playstation and he wants to show me his new games "

I ******* shit myself

I will be be mentioning it directly with management

To say that I am in a some what fucked up state is putting it mildly....

After reading this post early this morning it's been on my mind all day,yes i have read the replies .....tread carefully a lot is at stake,a whole hell of a lot.

 

[wide eyed and legless]

You have to remember stu nothing did happen, and logically I couldn't imagine a carer even taking the chance to hit upon a boy of eight and a half years old, not saying it couldn't happen, but if you really believed there was something in it you wouldn't have started this thread, you would have been around at his house with a claw end hammer.

 

[zarniwoop]

I just spoke to someone in my family who works in the social work/child protection area and they advised it is concerning and advised the following:

1. Keep talking to your son, praise him for being open with you and keep encouraging it. Ask him how he felt about, ask him if it made him feel weird (use that phrase) and try and get his feelings on it. Talk to your older son and see if anything else has been said.

2. If possible pull him out of the program, these workers know they are not supposed to suggest kids coming back to their homes or anything similar. It's not just a rough guide it's a very firm order.

3. Request a meeting with the center management and that worker, ask for an explanation, ask the worker at the meeting to show his working with children check and then expect some actions, i.e. additional training for the worker, reprimanded etc.

4. Above all make sure your son feels comfortable talking with you about it, sounds like you're already on top of this but keep it going, gentle and encouraging.

There are most likely three explanations for this guys behaviour:

1. He's an idiot. Some people just make stupid remarks or mistakes, it's a definite no-no in these jobs but it does happen.

2. He just does what he wants, some people enter the teaching type professions thinking it's Dead Poets Society and they can do what they want because they want to teach/look after people in a certain way. Doesn't mean he's abusive just thinks he can buck the rules.

3. He's a paedophile. Unfortunately people like this tend to be attracted to areas where they work with children, it can be a an almost all-consuming parts of their lives and they adjust their lives to suit it, hence their job choices. Unfortunately they're not always old men in dirty coats, they can also be young people who look cool and whom younger children are attracted to, they will also use things that are attractive to kids to attract and groom them.

I'm not saying that this guy is a paed. but it is a potential risk (people shouldn't start panicking and lynching random dodgy strangers but parents need to be on the ball with this as they tend to go where kids are - my relative has done this for a long time and the recent royal commission also highlights this.) Don't bother calling the police first up, they won't do anything based on that, best thing you can do is remove your children, talk to center management and see the response from them. This behavior is wrong and if they should act accordingly (I can't stress this enough, officially it's a really big no-no), if they appear to be protecting their worker you should then take it to the next level of management (i.e. if it's a council program take it to the council and demand a response in 24 hours not 3 weeks), you may also at this stage want to consider the police, they probably won't do anything with that level of evidence but if this individual has been doing this before or continues this will build a picture and hopefully some usable evidence.

I hope this helps, it sounds like you're doing the right thing and it's also good that your other son was there as well as he sounds like he's been keeping an eye on your younger son.


Cheers

Zarniwoop

 

[DU99]

After reading this story
i would be raising it with centre management if you don't get answer's i would be contacting the authorities.the person might have not thought of what they said.

 

[Grott]

Stu this is a tough one but you can't let it rest. If you do you will always be wondering if the person is a creep, has he/is he not doing something to other kids. I would have thought as a carer of young kids he would known this offer was inappropriate and fraught with danger. He should have approached and asked you first. Centre management may not be the best to approach as they could have a vested interest, eg negative publicity and may just sack the person or cover up. I would approach the law for advice, they have people well trained in these matters and you can stress that you do not want this person to lose their job if its all innocent stupidity/naivety on his behalf.

 

[Ducatiboy stu]

I couldn't imagine a carer even taking the chance to hit upon a boy of eight and a half years

Really....Have a bit of a think about that statemant and where people like that start grooming children. ****'n hell WEAL..I cant beleive you made a statement like that...if it was your daughter...I bet you would have a different view

 

[Bridges]

Horrible and scary Stu but you have to act, not just for your kids but all the kids he can potentially target. I think Zarniwoop's advice and plan of action sounds like a goer. Good luck and keep talking to your kids.

 

[wide eyed and legless]

Really....Have a bit of a think about that statemant and where people like that start grooming children. ****'n hell WEAL..I cant beleive you made a statement like that...if it was your daughter...I bet you would have a different view

If you had read the next line I said 'I can't say it couldn't happen' and your right, I would have a different view if it had happened to one of my daughters, it would have been sorted out immediately one way or the other, long before I would even think about starting a thread up about it.

 

[Ducatiboy stu]

Your good WEAL