I'm a FU@3ING *****!

[Adr_0]

you can only truly say "I'm a f@#$ing *****" when you carbonate ~20L of delicious bohemian pils - that has been about 8 weeks in the making - with SALT.

I knew a guy who did that once...

 

[jkhlt1210]

Whoa that would really suck! My next problem is my temp controlled fridge won't go below 16 degrees for my black lager! It won't kick over. Can I ferment at 16c????? Will it ruin it?

 

[jkhlt1210]

I lied... Fridge is actually dead so there goes my black lager FFFUUUDDDGGGE! ******* this

 

[Ducatiboy stu]

20kg???!!! Bloody hell!

Its an easy mistake to make on a brew weekend

 

[jkhlt1210]

Its an easy mistake to make on a brew weekend

Lucky I can't handle those size brews! On the plus side my fridge is working again

 

[beercus]

I left the tap open on the fermenter when transferring from the cube, wort all over the kitchen floor, took a while to realise... FAAAAAARK

explain that one to the misses.....

 

[yum beer]

5kg of grain turns up for my next batch......WTF its not milled......********.......ebay......order grain mill(was not on the things to order radar).......push brew day back a week.....

looks like I can get into bulk prices now though............getting ready right arm........

 

[Pogierob]

..getting ready right arm........

im sure you will be fine.
Rumor has it if you use your left it would be like someone else milling your grain.

 

[manticle]

Only if you put nail polish on it and shave off all the hairs.

 

[Adr_0]

5kg of grain turns up for my next batch......WTF its not milled......********.......ebay......order grain mill(was not on the things to order radar).......push brew day back a week.....

looks like I can get into bulk prices now though............getting ready right arm........

explain that one to the missus...

 

[yum beer]

explain that one to the missus...

no need, money was budgetted already.....
heat exchange now being home built.....

someone once mentioned a slippery slope...what did they mean?

 

[JWB]

How about this for a F**K up

Brewed an ale, filled the fermenter and noticed that the tap was leaking a little. decided to tighten it a bit more when the whole thing let go and the tap broke off. My beautiful beer was spilling all over the place and all I could do was stick finger in the hole and try to stop it and call on my Misses to come and help.

Have you ever had to try to get your better half to get another fermenter, give it a quick rinse with star san and put a tap in it while trying to stem the flow.
"NOT EASY" All she was worried about was the mess I was making.

Any way I saved about 18litres out of 23.

Its bubbling away right now


Cheers

JWB

 

[DJ_L3ThAL]

It would be prudent to call it the "Fingered Ale"

 

[clauddr]

This is an awesome thread!

 

[lukencode]

A similar thing happen to me when I opened the fermenter tap but couldnt close it, wish I was smart enough to shove my finger in...

 

[jkhlt1210]

How about this for a F**K up

Brewed an ale, filled the fermenter and noticed that the tap was leaking a little. decided to tighten it a bit more when the whole thing let go and the tap broke off. My beautiful beer was spilling all over the place and all I could do was stick finger in the hole and try to stop it and call on my Misses to come and help.

Have you ever had to try to get your better half to get another fermenter, give it a quick rinse with star san and put a tap in it while trying to stem the flow.
"NOT EASY" All she was worried about was the mess I was making.

Any way I saved about 18litres out of 23.

Its bubbling away right now


Cheers

JWB

Yes it's a fine line with the fermenter taps bud! Good to hear you rescued most of it!

 

[Black Devil Dog]

Not quite a brew day **** up, but certainly a brewing fxckup.

When I bought my first kegs, I was figuring out how the quick connects worked and right in front of my wife, I connected the beer connect to a keg which had the gas quick connect attached.

Problem was that there was no beer line attached to the beer quick connect. Before my wife could say " what the **** are you doing you dumb fxcking piece of ****" a wall in our house was painted in beer.

 

[DU99]

just had one last brew..measured out all the grain as per normal,milled the grain,took the bucket from under the mill to redo(BIAB)then i noticed this paper in grain,i had not taken out the silicate bag out of the speciality grain i used.my loss

 

[RobboMC]

I know someone that had 2 cars parked in the driveway and wanted to take the one at the front.

So they moved the back one backwards about 10 metres so they could back the first one out around it,
then... wait for it....

FORGOT the first car was there ( that she had put there 10 seconds ago )

..


and
..

backed the second car straight into the front of the first car!!! Ouch.

And the car she hit was her OWN CAR.

Now that's a screw up. Yours is just a bit of experience gained and not much loss, except the abv will be a touch low.

Give it to visitors who are driving home, they'll love it.

 

[RobboMC]

Once I forgot to close the tap on my bottling bucket after washing it.

Started racking the finished beer into it and suddenly my feet were getting wet.
There was about 3 litres of beautiful beer all over the floor. That really hurt.

But worse was that 2 brews later I did the same thing again.

I have also added the wrong can of malt ( Amber instead of Dark ) but that also just resulted in a perfectly still drinkable beer.

Also, I once had a fermenter tap totally block with hop residue with a full fermenter.
I tried everything including stocking a clean wire in from the inside - no luck.

In the end I had no option but to sanitise a big bucket as best I could and just remove the tap!!!
The whole 23 litres came pouring out at once, getting oxidised to buggery.

I bottled it and we drank it fairly promptly and it seemed OK.