I Hate "handcrafted Ales"

[grinder]

I jsut want to publicly stete that the next time I see anything purporting "Handcrafted Ales" I am going to do some serious ranting.
It is the most apathetic clice in craftbrewing, and I wish craftbrewers would employ someone with a brain to think of somthing new to call them.

Hand-crafted-my-ass

You must have had an early start. What's with the spelling? :lol:

 

[bindi]

I think a bit of "Hand Work" was the precursor to the original post in this thread. :lol:

Now that's GOLD

 

[Enerjex]

i must agree with the "Premium" suggestion. Every beer I've ever had that's labelled premium has been ****. seems a term only used my megaswill companies to get you to pay an extra $20 a slab for something that's probably only premium because they spent an extra 3c per bottle on the label. really good beers don't have any of this in their marketing, probably because the beer is what gives you a good impression.

 

[InCider]

I think a bit of "Hand Work" was the precursor to the original post in this thread. :lol:

'Hand Shandy" anyone?

InCider.

 

[simpletotoro]

'Hand Shandy" anyone?

InCider.

i'm up for the cup B)

 

[user 1153]

This seems like a good thread to release my new beer/brewery label...

No "hand crafted" or "all natural" crappola in sight

 

[Brewer_010]

To be genuinely "handcrafted" wouldn't the recipe also need to be crafted by hand (and NOT using 'cheating' software)?

 

[ant]

You must have had an early start. What's with the spelling? :lol:

Ease up. If you're going to have a crack at spelling and grammar, be sure you've got it right yourself. Nothing wrong with the spelling of "purporting" or "apathetic".

FWIW, I ignore the labelling and marketing hype and just try the beer. The proof, as they say, is in the pudding. But "handcrafted", "boutique" and "premium" are all massively overused. Maybe the repetition comes from all the marketing gurus having to share around that braincell h34r:

 

[Brad_G]

FWIW, I ignore the labelling and marketing hype and just try the beer. The proof, as they say, is in the pudding.

Too right, and nobody has talked about how the "pudding" was made. handcrafted or not, if it tastes good .... who cares?!



brad

 

[devo]

To be genuinely "handcrafted" wouldn't the recipe also need to be crafted by hand (and NOT using 'cheating' software)?

no, not really. whats the diff between using software to formulate and record your efforts than doing the same thing in a note book or logbook?

 

[sinkas]

Sorry re the spllelling,
it was a rant, rants dont get edited, takes the shine out of them.

I am also sick of apparently plausible yet suspiciously convenient historical stories that are used on certain beer bottles to justify the branding, eg James Squire,
Some of those stories I assume are compete hallucination, And worse of all pretty unimpressive.

 

[chillamacgilla73]

Some of those stories I assume are compete hallucination.

Possibly ergot hallucination? James "of Ark" Squire maybe...

 

[T.D.]

no, not really. whats the diff between using software to formulate and record your efforts than doing the same thing in a note book or logbook?

Yep I agree. Also, brewing software is just a fancy calculator, which is no different to developing your recipes by hand and using a calculator to determine IBUs and other stats. Hands up who does IBU formulations in their head???

 

[SJW]

I reckon if u go to the trouble of cracking your own grain, mashing, boiling, racking and anything else other than going to Dan's to buy a slab of NEW, you can call your beer anything you dam well please. :angry:

Now that deserves a HAND

Steve

 

[petesbrew]

"Quality Kits Can-opened with Care"
Now that has a lovely ring to it... honest too. :beer:

 

[sah]

Look, if you're going to brew on a larger scale with the view to making a few bob you've got to promote your product in a way that is going to encourage your prospective drinker to pick up your bottle in preference to the one next to it, or to ask for a schooner of your brew in preference to the next decal on the font.

Why are you disturbed by this? If you've done the marker research and you have the figures to demonstrate that "handcrafted" and "natural" don't sell please let us see your research.

Happy days.
Scott

 

[Steve Lacey]

handcrafted = made
boutique = small
premium = good
spade = shovel

 

[domonsura]

I reckon if u go to the trouble of cracking your own grain, mashing, boiling, racking and anything else other than going to Dan's to buy a slab of NEW, you can call your beer anything you dam well please. :angry:

Now that deserves a HAND

Steve

handcrafted = made
boutique = small
premium = good
spade = shovel

When it comes to the likes of us, too bloody right.

I call it Beer. I made it myself, I think it's good, and I like it. It's so bloody boutique that hardly anyone else ever gets to drink any of it, and I used my 2 hands to not only move the sacks of grain etc, but also to turn the taps, switch the switch, and lest we forget tap the keyboard keys - all in the name of what i like, not to mention making my brewery myself as many have.
Therefore in the name of pouring derision on marketing gurus and their ilk, I hereby bequest a new word to the brewing fraternity who yearn for a term that belongs just to them.

I give you ' MEMADE ' and the plural ' USMADE ' for those who like to collaborate with their fellow memakers.
Taken literally, in order to be able to apply this title to your esteemed beverages, you must have physically taken part in every part of the process from collection of the malt from your chosen supplier, right through to bottling/kegging/carbonation. I also suggest that in order to keep it all non-corrupt, that marketing consultants falsely making this claim of their product be made to repeat the brew in question in front of an AHB committee, and if they can't do it, be strung by the nads from the nearest powerline as a deterrent to others.........

MEMADE.......put your nuts on the line people..... :huh:

 

[mfdes]

Good Day
I drag out the malt bags, the mill etc by hand. I fill the HLT's my hand. I fill the mash tuns my hand, etc etc. I don't have time to have my hand on it because they are too busy making ales and lagers by hand.
All my beers are made by hand, not a pump in sight or on site.
So, therefore, they are hand crafted.

So if your beer is handcrafted when you stick your hand in the wort... I wonder what the hands of the brewery workers who make this hand crafted stuff end up looking like... Cooked trotters?

 

[tangent]

handcrafted= malts not chosen by an accountant?

"can't we add more sugar to this recipe?"