First World Problems Thread

[WarmBeer]

Just put the decision in the hands of the shuffle gods.

Shuffle is for people who don't have Wiggles in their collections. Nothing ruins a groove like following Coltrane with "Fruit salad, yummy, yummy".

 

[Dave70]

I hate those stupid people who go to ALDI

Like the store manager who waits until shoppers are queued to the ******* back wall before opening another register.

I always like to use my big green Wollies bags when I go there just to let em know they aren't the only fucken game in town.


Ruthlessly efficient German multinational.
(don't mention the war..)

 

[glenwal]

Shuffle is for people who don't have Wiggles in their collections. Nothing ruins a groove like following Coltrane with "Fruit salad, yummy, yummy".

Damn you - now i've got that damn song stuck in my head.

 

[Airgead]

Shuffle is for people who don't have Wiggles in their collections. Nothing ruins a groove like following Coltrane with "Fruit salad, yummy, yummy".

I know your pain. I was happily shuffling along the other day when I found that my daughter had polluted my collection with the spice girls and sundry other rubbish.

 

[Bribie G]

I had to go to the doctor to get a sick cert for work as I have a heavy cold. So the doc and medicare are abused by my employers just so the doc can sign a bit of paper and inform me, as we all know, that there's no cure for the common cold, meanwhile I've probably infected six people in waiting room and one of them will die.

The newspapers fudge their circulation figures by delivering huge bales of papers to newsagents which then get returned. You should see the stack of bales outside just the Bribie Island newsagent waiting for pickup out on the footpath. I reckon far fewer people actually read papers than the publishers admit. What a criminal waste of resources, apparently papers are not very recyclable because of the newsprint. I think they should all go online, I'd pay $4 a week for access to a GOOD "paper", but I don't think they exist any more in Australia.

And being first world of course we don't use them for wiping our bums anymore, although it used to be different growing up in "second world" Newcastle on Tyne after the war

And no we didn't live in a bag in the middle of the road.


Well not initially

 

[pk.sax]

I gota blister from walking too much too fast

 

[Ducatiboy stu]

What to cook for dinner......

 

[winkle]

Arrrrghhh, I've run out of blue cheese, the supermarket/deli are closed and all I've got to get me through the evening is tasty cheddar, damn it to hell :angry:

 

[spog]

malted,as for the finger rupturing the toilet paper i have some advice.......
for ****'s sake wipe man,wipe don't push....cheers.....spog....

The toilet paper at work is too thin.
I am accustomed to folding so I have to become a scruncher for it to do an effective job or else my finger ruptures the paper. It is such a terrible thing to have to change ones habits. As far as I am concerned, scrunching is a terrible thing.
I don't like toilets that have had other bums on them. As far as I am concerned, public toilets and work toilets are only for holding your breath whilst urinating in them.
I try to only shit in my own nest but sometimes I get caught at work. Sometimes, if I can, I will hold it in all day so I can use my own toilet when I get home. Sometimes driving home is uncomfortable.

 

[Malted]

malted,as for the finger rupturing the toilet paper i have some advice.......
for ****'s sake wipe man,wipe don't push....cheers.....spog....

:lol:

I think consistency of the waste is a factor. Sometimes they just jump out and you run the paper around and say to yourself, did I really just let one rip? Other times you have to chase it around because it just won't go away.

 

[Bribie G]

I'm sick with a cold, so is SWMBO. I'm on a low salt diet so I made myself a nice comfort food lamb neck chop Lancashire hot pot with just plain ingredients and some bunches of garden herbs, but she refuses to eat "convict stew" that contains parsnips, swedes etc so I made her a big batch of smoked bacon hock and split pea soup which is also a great comfort food when ill.

I remembered I had some precooked lentils to use up so I chucked those in as well. On tasting half a teaspoon, yes it was salty but also chilli-hot. Oh dear then I remembered I had cooked the lentils with a heaped teaspoon of chilli flakes.

SWMBO hates chilli.


So I went back to the supermarket for another hock and made up a new batch of soup (doesn't take long in a pressure cooker) and I've packaged up the chilli version and I'll give it to a poor old pensioner who lives round the corner.


(Actually he's my Bribie Drinking buddy and we are having much pisshab this afternoon anyway)

 

[glenwal]

Currently sitting on a train thats stuck at a station because a door won't close, so now I'm gonna be late for work.At least the chick sitting opposite has a super short skirt and killer legs.

 

[Ducatiboy stu]

My ride-on mower does not have a stubby holder...

 

[Liam_snorkel]

there must be somewhere you can zip-tie one to it

 

[glenwal]

Can you fit a keg on it somewhere instead?

 

[Malted]

I am all out of skilter today.

When the alarm went off this morning, I thought it was a Thursday so I hit the snooze button a few times. When I was later getting dressed to go to work I realised my stubble was a bit long and it must be a shaving day, ergo it must be Friday (I shave on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays). After a hasty shave and finishing getting ready for work I didn't have time for a dump before leaving home. I fear I am going to have to lay a cable at work.

 

[Liam_snorkel]

Nothing better than getting paid to shit.
I drop most of my stools at work to save paper at home.

 

[Ducatiboy stu]

I just steal the paper from work.....especially when it is that nice soft fluffy type paper...

 

[bum]

Gonna be spending the arvo at White Rabbit but I have to drive all the way there first.

 

[Gar]

Why is it, that every staggeringly moronic imbecile I meet has a kid in tow.... can somebody please give me plans for a waist height device that I can use to irradiate these fuckers.

Gonna be spending the arvo at White Rabbit

Arsehole <_<