Depression........Its real

[Ducatiboy stu]

Well.... I have suffered for 20yrs. Have long term chronic.

Recently I have had to have my meds changed due to my old ones not working. And its been hell .

Be nice to share the experience of fellow brewers. And don't be shy cause I already know a few of you.

 

[Econwatson]

Not myself personally, but my mother killed herself 5 years ago, she was clinically depressed. She hid it pretty well from all of us, I had no idea she was hurting so much. Can't help but blame myself a little, I wasn't a bad son, but I should have paid more attention. So if you think somebody might be dealing with depression, it never hurts to ask if they're doing alright. Don't be shy about it, because you won't get a chance to ask if they decide to do the unthinkable. Sounds very dramatic, but it's how I feel.

But the world's a funny place. After my mum died my brother started speaking to a girl who's brothers both committed suicide for support. Now they're married, and have a 1 year old kid, my nephew.

 

[Mardoo]

Wow. That sucks on both counts. Sorry guys, I know that's easy for me to say. I've managed to largely avoid the darkness that can't be shaken but have friends who haven't. You always wish you could help.

 

[punkin]

Sporadic, quite severe but years apart. I'm more your manic depressive type.

 

[doon]

Yep on and off for years but got really bad when I went through a divorce three years ago. Had to get on meds. They did their job but also had adverse effects on my blood pressure so got off them.

 

[tricache]

Great to see this kind of thing talked about amongst guys...talking to counsellors and they have found that it's not just depression in men which is bad its the fact that they don't talk about it makes it even worse.

Been through a grandfather taking his own life(high school), father losing to cancer (3 year battle also in high school), premmy/still born daughter and numerous friends funerals(just in the past 2 years)

You get days were you don't think you can keep going and just want to give up, the whole crawl into a whole kind of thing. I have found being active helps 10 fold, brewing, gardening and even Xbox helps a million. A good exampe is I have always had trouble with social situations (never liked crowds or meeting new people) but brewing showed me that it's not that bad and even got myself into starting a new club and looking forward to meeting new people who come along.

Good on your Stu for starting this thread if we were in a pub I would buy you a round :beer:

 

[Lord Raja Goomba I]

Good on you stu for starting a thread like this.

We all generally have a laugh here, but sometimes there's more going on behind the computer screen and avatar.

Coupled with the fact that men generally share this sort of thing ess than anyone else, it's a recipe for disaster.

Good on you for talking about this on a 'man' forum (yes I know we have female brewers here and we all welcome our brewa-sistaz, but if you look at registrations of men vs women vs bots - the bots win it's more weighted toward blokes). That takes more guts than anything else.

I've had a couple of small bouts over the last 18 years (generally when I have a major period of stress - family rejection, financial precipice, diagnosed with aspergers syndrome, that sort of thing), but I'm generally, mostly not too bad. Keep busy, look at the positive things you do have (in my case 4 beautiful daughters, my wife and some great friends) and try not to tarnish that (my worst problem), don't drink to escape it - they generally tend to be what I do and mostly it works.

 

[lmccrone]

I have a very good friend who suffers from it, although he seems a lot better now days. He thinks the best thing he did to start getting better was to talk to his friends about it, he got a lot more support than he was expecting.

Not sure what else I can add, good luck!

 

[mosto]

To anyone who thinks depression isn't real, it is. Fortunately, I have never had to deal with it personally and, as such, honestly thought it was a crock of ****. Toughen up, shake it off, and get on with things was pretty much my line of thinking. That all changed a couple of years ago when two of my friends took their own lives within a short space of time. I couldn't understand why, particularly one who left a wife and two young boys behind. After talking to their close families, I discovered they both suffered from depression. I had no idea their outlook on life had become so bleak. The only ones that knew were their very closest family members.

I can not imagine why or how things got that bad for them and don't pretend to. What I do know is my attitude to this illness has changed. I have since managed to notice the early signs in another friend who was having a rough time at home and work. I just suggested he come around home have a beer and talk it out. He has since told me that's all he needed, someone to listen, but didn't know how to ask.

Another mate has recently seperated and, thankfully, he is a bit more forth coming in asking for help. He knows if it's getting too much, he can lob at my joint for as long as he likes. I live on 50 acres, so I think he likes the fact that if he doesn't want to see anyone much, he doesn't have to.

So my advice is to those who aren't suffering themselves, but suspect a mate is. Just ask if they're ok or if they need to talk. Maybe they are ok which is fantastic. But maybe they're not, and are hoping like hell someone asks as they don't know how to ask themselves.

 

[CONNOR BREWARE]

I feel for anyone going through this. I've been there with a couple of people when things got dark for them. One used meds and one the bottom of a bottle. A long hard road for them. I always wondered what the hell I could do to help, like what was the magic answer to fix their troubles. Actually felt a bit helpless in my inadequate support. I now think its probably being available that was the help they were chasing. Both are now doing well.

Anyway a good thread, the more light on this the more inclined people might be to look for some help or support.

Good luck.

 

[GrumpyPaul]

Been lucky enough not to have suffered myself - but my wife has really struggled off and on for as long as i have known her (coming up for 27 years married).

She has always seen it as a weakness and for a long long time refused to get help. When the kids were young she was worried if she told a Doc the kids would get taken off her.

Things for her have been tough lately and I finally got her to talk to a counsellor. I even got her to the point she spoke to the GP and was prescribed some meds. Unfortunately after 3 days on the meds the side effects were making her nauseas - now she wont take them.

Sometimes all you can do is be there for them. It can be really tough to see things from their perspective - i find myself thinking "just go to the Dr, take some meds - she'll be right" but you just cant force that attitude one someone suffering.

Supporting someone going through it can be really tough - but I always tell myself it isnt anywhere as tough as going through it yourself, just be there...

 

[tricache]

Been lucky enough not to have suffered myself - but my wife has really struggled off and on for as long as i have known her (coming up for 27 years married).

She has always seen it as a weakness and for a long long time refused to get help. When the kids were young she was worried if she told a Doc the kids would get taken off her.

Things for her have been tough lately and I finally got her to talk to a counsellor. I even got her to the point she spoke to the GP and was prescribed some meds. Unfortunately after 3 days on the meds the side effects were making her nauseas - now she wont take them.

Sometimes all you can do is be there for them. It can be really tough to see things from their perspective - i find myself thinking "just go to the Dr, take some meds - she'll be right" but you just cant force that attitude one someone suffering.

Supporting someone going through it can be really tough - but I always tell myself it isnt anywhere as tough as going through it yourself, just be there...

I know what you mean, with losing our little girl my wife was obviously effected greatly and I have had to deal with not being able to help her until she wants help as much as dealing with losing our daughter.

It's hard to see someone you care about spiral down like that and feeling just as helpless and thinking you can't seem to help them. Good point though, just being there is always going to help even if they don't say so.

 

[Arghonaut]

Good Thread. Never suffered from it myself, but have been there through some dark times with loved ones. Best mate who i lived with for a while in my twenties suffered badly, lead to an attempted suicide at our place which he luckily survived, and was a turning point for him. My wife also went through pretty bad post-natal depression after our first child, meds, professional support and a loving family got her through it, and it still pops up from time to time. People need to not feel weak or ashamed to admit they are feeling it, and not be afraid to talk and ask for any support they need. Talking about it more can only help this.

 

[DU99]

my wife suffers from depression and is on med's and has tried twice to self harm.she get's psychiatry one a month.the main problem i have found people with depression tend to onto hold things in,and not express there true feelings..also she had bad post natal depression with our first child.but back thirty years they didn't call it depression,"she had a nervous breakdown".her brother has been thru it and he locked himself away in his bedroom for hours.

 

[philmud]

I've had depressive periods - manifested as substance abuse in my late teens & early 20s, and even though I haven't touched illicit drugs since then, I have to keep my moods in check. I tend to get a bit fixated in things when I'm not in a good space (brewing, photography, crazy schemes). I took meds for anxiety a couple of years back but stopped - didn't notice a great difference as I wound back slowly, BUT getting on the things was horrible, so OP I don't envy you changing meds as I gather that's a similar experience.
Good to see blokes talking about this, it's pretty pervasive. I've always liked Winston Churchill's 'black dog' metaphor.

 

[Yob]

It's great to see this dark cloud have some light on it.. Ive not been prone to it myself but my wife used to be on meds for it... for some reason she hasnt needed any assistance since we met :blink: I guess she gets to laugh at me constantly and TBH I try to keep her looking on the bright side of things... which comes easy to me I think.

Have lost a number of friends the big S and understand how easily it can be kept hidden. Which it shouldnt be.

Beyond Blue is one of the charities I give to every year.

:icon_cheers:

 

[Phillo]

Long term sufferer. No cause, just familial. Tried to ween off the meds twice and relapsed. :wacko:

 

[mwd]

Interesting thread for a beer forum it seems alcohol and depression are closely linked. Although I think beer drinking is less likely to make one alcohol dependent. http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/diseases/depression/alcoholanddepression_000486.htm

 

[Econwatson]

Interesting thread for a beer forum it seems alcohol and depression are closely linked. Although I think beer drinking is less likely to make one alcohol dependent. http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/diseases/depression/alcoholanddepression_000486.htm

I'd say this thread is more an indication of how prevalent depression is in our modern society, and how many people suffer from it or are affected by it. The fact that we are the brewing demographic is coincidental. I bet if you went on forums for fishing or auto-enthusiasts you'd get similar responses.

 

[fletcher]

Good thread mate.

I was in a horrible spot a few years back, for a few years, and would barely speak to any family or friends, and always made excuses not to see anyone. Got to the point of a breakdown and sadly lost a lot of friends over it and it had horrible health side effects. Didn't really understand what was happening until i ended up really sitting back and looked at my life and was honest with myself in things i was upset with vis a vis how i expected my life to be/turn out. Was very lucky to be able to slowly work my way out of those feelings with help from some close mates and family but it is a really good idea to speak to someone about it, friend, family, or counselor.

If i could echo sentiments here, i'd say to speak up about it sooner rather than feel like you're weak or have to battle those thoughts and feelings and 'put up with it'. It makes a world of difference.