Crap Movies Of The Year

[argon]

I really liked Waititi's Eagle vs Shark of a few years ago. Did you see that one?....

really enjoyed this film too... gotta be in the right mood though

 

[Josh]

boy

NZ film about to be released here. It has some funny lines. But lacks any real direction and drags on forever.

Margaret and David both gave it 4 stars. Considering giving it another chance, perhaps not having a few beers with my mates.

 

[Pennywise]

Margaret and David both gave it 4 stars.

:lol: :lol: I'm sure this is the funniest thing I'll read all day

 

[bum]

Just saw a movie I expected to belong in this thread but it really doesn't - The Expendables.

Taken as a genre piece it is really ******* rad. Taken as a modern action movie it is probably lacking a touch but it pretty confronting in gore terms which these films usually shy way from so it gets some points back. Surprisingly well made. Worth a look in if you liked this sort of thing back in the day. Dialogue is cheesy as hell though.

 

[petesbrew]

The Expendables - Craptastic.
When it opened up with "A Silverster Stallone Movie" I laughed out loud. It could've just said "expect this film to be ****".

Honestly it was just brilliantly *********. Only a tiny smattering of CGI - just great old-school explosions, machine guns and death-by-bazooka glory.
Worth seeing with mates.

Just saw a movie I expected to belong in this thread but it really doesn't - The Expendables.

Taken as a genre piece it is really ******* rad. Taken as a modern action movie it is probably lacking a touch but it pretty confronting in gore terms which these films usually shy way from so it gets some points back. Surprisingly well made. Worth a look in if you liked this sort of thing back in the day. Dialogue is cheesy as hell though.

Just quoting my reply from last month, Bum.
Definitely old-school fun - I bet you laughed your arse off too?!

 

[JonnyAnchovy]

anyone as excited about machete as me? I'm predicting this will be the best crap movie of the year.

 

[bum]

I'm pretty stoked for Machette. The Grindhouse trailer was the best thing I have ever seen. If they can maintain that for 90minutes it'll be the best thing ever.

Yeah, Pete, lots of lols. When Terry Crews came down that hallway with that horrific shotgun I'm pretty sure I woke up SWMBO on the other side of the house. Gotta disagree with the call on Stalone's directorial abilities. Sure, it was no Citizen Kane but he hit pretty much every note spot on and it is a really solid piece of work.

Speaking of **** movies - I just watched Alien Apocalypse starring Bruce Campbell. This is a cross between Planet of the Apes and Cannibal the Musical but somehow, and don't ask me because I don't know, it sucks pus infected arse.

 

[petesbrew]

I'm pretty stoked for Machette. The Grindhouse trailer was the best thing I have ever seen. If they can maintain that for 90minutes it'll be the best thing ever.

Yeah, Pete, lots of lols. When Terry Crews came down that hallway with that horrific shotgun I'm pretty sure I woke up SWMBO on the other side of the house. Gotta disagree with the call on Stalone's directorial abilities. Sure, it was no Citizen Kane but he hit pretty much every note spot on and it is a really solid piece of work.

Speaking of **** movies - I just watched Alien Apocalypse starring Bruce Campbell. This is a cross between Planet of the Apes and Cannibal the Musical but somehow, and don't ask me because I don't know, it sucks pus infected arse.

Oh man, Cannibal the Musical. Watched that with my groomsmen the night before my wedding.
"Let's build a snowman!"

The Grindhouse ones... yeah, Planet Terror was "enjoyable" but Death Proof was boring.

I'll definitely be getting Expendables on DVD.

 

[bum]

The stunt work at the end of Death Proof is one of the best things that has ever been put on film. And the scene itself is pretty great too.

I saw Grindhouse - not the solo versions released here. Apparently the version of Deathproof released outside of the US had some extra time added to its running length so it didn't seem like such a rip off on its own. The dialogue is all horrendous and seems like it will never end but it is well worth sitting through for that scene with the Vanishing Point Challenger. But, yeah, those ******* just needed to shut the hell up in the preceding 60 minutes.

 

[petesbrew]

Another one to watch with mates is Shoot Em Up. Bloody funny & plain ridiculous.

 

[Katherine]

Another one to watch with mates is Shoot Em Up. Bloody funny & plain ridiculous.

I love that film... the gun between the cootie was a bit confronting tho!

 

[bum]

anyone as excited about machete as me? I'm predicting this will be the best crap movie of the year.

I just watched this and if anyone ever uses the word "crap" in relation to it again I will do at least seven things from the film to them. No one need make a genre-film ever again - this movie is ******* PERFECT. Seriously.

 

[outbreak]

Danny Trejo is soo bad ***, can't wait to see Machete

 

[bum]

He is a terrible arse.

 

[ledgenko]

If you want a movie to fertilize your hops with .... try Hole in one !! freakin hell .. I will never recapture those minutes ever again ... worst piece of **** I have ever seen !!!

I would not even download it from a dodgy internet site .. thats how bad it is !!

 

[goomboogo]

If you want a movie to fertilize your hops with .... try Hole in one !! freakin hell .. I will never recapture those minutes ever again ... worst piece of **** I have ever seen !!!

I would not even download it from a dodgy internet site .. thats how bad it is !!

You are never going to recapture minutes form the past irrespective of the quality of the film.

 

[JonnyAnchovy]

I just watched this and if anyone ever uses the word "crap" in relation to it again I will do at least seven things from the film to them. No one need make a genre-film ever again - this movie is ******* PERFECT. Seriously.

Still haven't caught it - on the list for this week. Heard wonderful things from several sources now

I did catch Kaboom at the brisbane Film Fest last week - now that was a pretty cool genre film - none of the self-conscious meta stuff that goes on with Tarantino or Rodreguez (not that I don't love that kind of thing...)

 

[petesbrew]

Machete was Excellent.

 

[bum]

Just saw ******* 3D. Man. So much faeces. Pretty lulzy though.

 

[WarmBeer]

I just watched this and if anyone ever uses the word "crap" in relation to it again I will do at least seven things from the film to them. No one need make a genre-film ever again - this movie is ******* PERFECT. Seriously.

"Machete don't text"

Parental advisory warning: Contains all 10 types of awesome!