Continuing Rant Thread - Get it Off Ya Chest here

[Blind Dog]

So no mind blowing sex to ease the pain? You have my sympathies

 

[manticle]

It was like being in a locked room where someone farted quietly and after eating scrambled eggs while having the flu.
No choice was made, much pain was suffered.

 

[Lecterfan]

Can I get some cal chloride that is Nelson Sav scented, but just only ever-so slightly? That would be the jazz. Thanks in advance, LF.

 

[Ducatiboy stu]

NaCl that imparts the flavor of NS

Stab me in the eye with some POR

 

[Dave70]

Implies that there are at least 1018 people in the world, or 10 exa. Or a billion billion.
lern to mathematic

I faald maff.

 

[WarmerBeer]

It's as if the cat empire fucked missy higgins at a hippy commune .

I'd torrent that

 

[spog]

Bloody dogs,yesterday morning I stepped in dog shit while getting into my ute in the dark now I didn't know I had but once the heater started working I'm wondering what the fck is the stench.
I got to work and yep,dog shit on the accelerator and brake pedal,dog shit on the floor and the stench seems to have clung to every surface in the ute.
I'm seriously considering wiping my arse on the dog(s) the lazy feckers crap in the driveway right were I step in the dark instead of in the backyard.
I think they hate me.

 

[Airgead]

So...I'm at a beer and cider show over the weekend.Here's how the evening went -

Arrive.

Start tasting. Nice IPA. Nice IPA. Nice IPA. Nice IPA.

All I can taste are hops. These IPAs have become indistinguishable.

"What have you got that's not an IPA? I need to get these hops off my palete for a while". "We have a Saison". "A Saison" says I, "cool". "Yes" says the bearded brewer. "Its an Imperial, Hoppy Saison with loads of American hops". "Really?" says I, "OK...I'll give it a go". A sip later, "You do realise that this tastes exactly the same as your IPA don't you? All I can taste are hops". "YAY HOPS!" says the bearded brewer.

Next table. "The sheet says you have a brown ale" says I. "Yes" says another bearded brewer", Its a hoppy, Imperial brown. "Really" says I.

Next table. "Its an Imperial Saison" says another bearded brewer, "Withh lots of hops. They are all the rage". "Really" says I.

Next table. "You have a pilsner" says I. "Yes" says another bearded brewer. "Its an Imperial...". "ARRRRGGGGGRRRRRHHHHHHH" says I.

Next table. "A Weizen?" says I. "Its an Imp...". I contemplate kicking the bearded brewer in the nads but settle for banging my head against the wall.

I think there were three beers there that weren't an imperial somethingorother. What happened to beers that were actually balanced? When did it become just about the hops? Why do all brewers have beards?

Every stout at the show was a Russian Imperial of at least 10%. What happened to stouts you can drink more than one of?

There was one brewery that did have a real IPA - An English style IPA with malt and everything. That was nice. There was also one guy who had a real amber lager. very nice.

There was a nice lemon sour. Very refreshing.

There was also some very good cider. And some very ordinary mead. If that guy can make a living with hs cloudy, overly sweet rubbish then screw this, I'm getting a license and going into business. 20 bucks for a half sized wine bottle. I couldn't believe it.

 

[Dave70]

You should produce a 3.5% lambic for next year and call it Daves Sour faced Pogonophobia. Then wink at the customer as you toast a glass (plastic cup) and go, mmm...vinous!

 

[Airgead]

Seriously dude, there was so much facial hair it was a fire hazard. One spark into a freshly oiled beard and foom. The whole place would have gone up.

And it woudn't be a lambic...it would be a 3.5% bitter. Just called Dave's Bitter.

 

[Dave70]

No chance of that huffing a trendy e cigarette.
I beg your pardon.
'vape'..

 

[Fraser's BRB]

...I have a beard, but I had one before it was cool (insert ironic wink here).

But to your point, this is one reason I've never brewed an IPA and really gone off drinking them for a long time. It seemed to me about 18 months to two years ago that the entire "craft" industry was heading in a direction that involved just cramming as much hops as possible into a beer and balance be damned. Through my own brewing I think this has led me to a much greater appreciation for the malt forward styles that I'd previously not had a lot of experience with.

I tried one of daetripper's IPAs a few weeks ago and it was really well balanced, so I'm encouraged to maybe have a go at brewing one that I'll enjoy.

 

[shaunous]

Im hearing ya on the hopped up to the balls beer business, I was trying heaps of extra beers but have gone back to old faithful Coopers to detox all the hops away. I havnt brewed in a long while due to expanding the farming enterprise so purchase the gold nectar I must.

 

[welly2]

Sadly it seems aussie brewers are going the way of the yank brewer in that everything seems to have to have more of whatever in it, with the exception of flavour. More hops, more ABV, more sour. For the rest of this year, my plan is to concentrate on flavoursome, session-able beers. 5 pints on a Sunday arvo and still be corpus enough to cook the tea.

This isn't entirely true because there are some cracking beers coming out of Oz but there's a lot of similar IPsomethings too.

 

[TheWiggman]

I'm completely with you Airgead. A while back the market was introduced to a beer that contained hops other than PoR or a Euro lager-friendly type, and the market went "my my what is this?". It's become a bit of a buzzword term - hoppy ale. After that it seems there is a continual push to throw as much into a beer a s possible because more is better right? More alcohol, more hops, more bitterness, longer beards etc. Even a while back I brewed an RIS at 8.2% and the forum response was "only 8.2%?". Why yes. And it tastes stellar.
I don't care if a beer has a truck ton or sprinkling of hops in it. Likewise if it's wine strength or wouldn't put me over the limit after a night on them, I'm after tasty, enjoyable beers and love experimenting with different styles. Except wheats because they taste like plastic.

 

[spog]

Sadly it seems aussie brewers are going the way of the yank brewer in that everything seems to have to have more of whatever in it, with the exception of flavour. More hops, more ABV, more sour. For the rest of this year, my plan is to concentrate on flavoursome, session-able beers. 5 pints on a Sunday arvo and still be corpus enough to cook the tea.
This isn't entirely true because there are some cracking beers coming out of Oz but there's a lot of similar IPsomethings too.

Hallelujah Brother.

 

[manticle]

Well it used to be that every homebrewer made only apa or aipa so maybe AU craft/micro will catch up. So many beer styles out there.

 

[Ducatiboy stu]

Yep, you can have your mega hopped beers

Whats the point when after one your mouth feels like its coated in hop resin and you cant taste anything for the next 3 weeks

Sorry, but mega hopped beers are a bit wanky in m book

Whenever some dick comes at me with a "try this you will really like the hops in this" I just want them to **** off

 

[Lecterfan]

I'd post a reply to this thread but them fuggin' coronas have retarded my capacity to see beer from piss and right from wrong. Goddayum them weak as piss beers that have made me sensitive to KK.

 

[Dave70]

Hey Yob, if I were you I'd secure a reliable supplier of bog heather, yarrow and mugwort. Sounds like gruit will making a comeback shortly.