Balls Ups

[bonj]

hehe... here's mine...

A few years ago, I had the fermenter on the kitchen bench. The beer was pretty much ready to bottle, so I thought I'd take a final gravity reading. Hydrometer in one hand, I turned the tap on, and filled the tube. At a decent level, I turned the tap off, only to find that the whole tap assembly rotated instead. Beer now flowing all over the floor, I quickly found a place to rest the full hydrometer tube, and used both hands to fix the tap situation. After everything was sorted out, and gravity reading taken, I went into the garage to get the mop. As I stepped into the garage, the door slammed behind me, and I found myself locked out of the house. My mobile and keys were inside. I had no option but to introduce myself to a neighbour so I could call my wife at work. The call centre operator had a great chuckle when I told her my predicament, and put me through to my wife. My wife doesn't have a licence, so had to get a colleague to drive her home (fortunately only 10 minutes from her work, but it took her about half an hour to find someone that could) to let me back inside. After that ordeal, I still had to mop the spilt beer off the floor...

 

[MVZOOM]

I don't bottle often, but had a few litres left of a brew a couple of months back. Sanitised four bottles and lids - the PET Coopers kind. Primed with raw sugar and couldn't remember how much to use to prime. Kinda thought that a longkneck would need 1 tablespoon of sugar..

Four weeks later, these had been sitting in my fermenting fridge - in garage- which wasn't turned on. I am skillsawing in the garage and hear this 'Ka BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM'.

Open fridge door, PET bottle bomb, sitting in the base of the fridge floor has put a hole through the roof of the fridge and dented the top, from the inside out. The fridge is about 6 foot tall....

Oh yeah, it's one teaspoon per 720ml....

Cheers - Mike

 

[browndog]

I have not read the whole thread, so I don't know if this one has been mentioned yet. (aside from stuffing my mill with a straightened out coat hanger) I had a few of those plastic vials the wyeast yeasts come in and wanted to save some english ale yeast from the yeast cake I had for a brew a few weeks in the future. I simply swilled the remaining beer and yeast around in the bottom of the fermenter till it was liquid then poured straight from the tap into the vials. Well, imagine my surprise a few weeks later when I opened the first vial to find that it sprayed out everywhere, not a drop left in the vial and not matter how carefully I tried to release the pressure on the second one, I still ended up with only a teaspoon full.

cheers

Browndog

 

[Batz]

hehe... here's mine...

A few years ago, I had the fermenter on the kitchen bench. The beer was pretty much ready to bottle, so I thought I'd take a final gravity reading. Hydrometer in one hand, I turned the tap on, and filled the tube. At a decent level, I turned the tap off, only to find that the whole tap assembly rotated instead. Beer now flowing all over the floor, I quickly found a place to rest the full hydrometer tube, and used both hands to fix the tap situation. After everything was sorted out, and gravity reading taken, I went into the garage to get the mop. As I stepped into the garage, the door slammed behind me, and I found myself locked out of the house. My mobile and keys were inside. I had no option but to introduce myself to a neighbour so I could call my wife at work. The call centre operator had a great chuckle when I told her my predicament, and put me through to my wife. My wife doesn't have a licence, so had to get a colleague to drive her home (fortunately only 10 minutes from her work, but it took her about half an hour to find someone that could) to let me back inside. After that ordeal, I still had to mop the spilt beer off the floor...

Fantastic!

You win

Batz

 

[poppa joe]

Capped about 8 b bottles....
Then my smart arsed daughter said........
Dad shouldnt you fill the bottles with beer first...
Thankfully i had a good apprentice at the time.....
PJ

 

[Adamt]

Never drink on botling day.

 

[bonj]

Fantastic!

You win

Batz

Bloody funny to laugh at now... but I felt like such an idiot... hehe

 

[Steve]

Was bottling me Koelsch last sunday. Grabbed all me bottles from the laundry. Happily bottling away. Half way through I grabbed another long neck to fill, put in the little bottler and to my horror the bottle that I had presumed was clean and empty had a quarter of very old mouldy beer. There was about an inch of mould with the little bottle poking right through the middle of it. Shit I swore!!!
Cheers
Steve

 

[DarkFaerytale]

Was bottling me Koelsch last sunday. Grabbed all me bottles from the laundry. Happily bottling away. Half way through I grabbed another long neck to fill, put in the little bottler and to my horror the bottle that I had presumed was clean and empty had a quarter of very old mouldy beer. There was about an inch of mould with the little bottle poking right through the middle of it. Shit I swore!!!
Cheers
Steve

is that the bottle your sending to the stammtisch steve? sounds tasty

 

[petesbrew]

Went to test my bitter on wednesday night, after enjoying a longneck swap of Oblomov's Belgian Golden Strong Ale.
I "happily" picked up the hydrometer tube from the wrong end, and as I turned towards the fermenter the centrifugal forces kicked in. The hydrometer shot out the open end of the tube, across the garage-cum-brauhaus and shattered into many peices.

Note for next time: Cap both ends always.... take care testing while drunk/tipsy/happy.

Edit 16th January... 2nd Ballsup in a week...

Okay I was extremely slack last night. With no high hopes for my bitter, I couldn't be bothered sanitising the bottles. Just washed and rinsed them. Had enough longnecks and carb drops, so the priming bucket was left out as well.

4 bottles from the end, I ran out of carb drops. Out comes the sugar jar and a small funnel. 2 carb drops per tallie = 2 teaspoons per tallie. Only this morning do I realise that it's ONE teaspoon per tallie.
Straight On the phone to the wife "If you hear a bang from the garage, that's one of my bottle bombs".

My fingers are crossed, and I'll be double boxing those glass ones tonight!!!

 

[petesbrew]

Yet again I've had another balls up.
What luck I have!

Lesson learnt - don't brew with too many beers under your belt.

Had some friends over last night for dinner. After dinner the guy was keen to see me make a brew.
I made up the XTRACT Pilsner. Nice and easy. We started adding the water. I said, "see that black line? That's 23litres. Fill it to that." No problems. I take the hydro reading... 1034. Far out, that's the lowest I've ever had.... oh well. I add the yeast... think about it, re-read the intructions "FILL TO 20Litres".
BUGGER.

Looks like a light pilsner is on the way.... um, is it too late to add any dextrose after I've added the yeast?

 

[Stuster]

Some great ones on here. A good way to start the day. :lol:

Not too late to add the dextrose, petesbrew. Add away, or personally I'd be saving my money and adding some normal sugar.

 

[barneyhanway]

Bought a new fermenter a while ago, HBS lady tells me proudly that these ones come from Australia and are a bit cheaper. Great. I observe that the tap doesn't seem to have enough thread to get really tight. No dramas eh, them aussies must know what they're doing...

So I'm making an APA, using the last of my cascade hops and plenty of them.

I'm ready to empty the lovely smelling contents of my kettle (still boiling hot - I no-chill) into my fermenter. Empty away, I had enough volume for 25l leaving pretty much all of the trub in the kettle.

Put the lid on, tighten, the fermenter spins around on the floor a bit and I ended up putting a fraction too much pressure on the tap with my bare foot.

Tap pops out, boiling hot wort pours all over my bare foot and over the floor. Nothing I could do but get it outside quickly and watch it go down the drain.

And I still had to clean up.

 

[Kingy]

After hooking up my first keg to the gas, i put the beer line on and had forgotten to check that the tap was off! it wasn't

done the same (first keg also) i herd this waterfall and im looking around the keg for a few seconds thinking wtf is that (couldnt see no leaks) then my feet were gettin wet . shit! the tap.


also
drilling holes for the beer tap and gas lines in the fridge,when i was finished, turned power back on and sweet! it still works.
Went away for about an hour and had to go back and look at my work.
Opened the door and bzzzzt! sounded like the power went out oh shit! must have hit a wire.....i couldnt have tho because it was working fine

So pulled the tap off and gas lines out,took about 20 longnecks out and glasses etc etc tilted the fridge up couldnt see nothing :unsure: decided to turn the fridge on (after i kicked it because i just bought it off ebay,thought i bought a dud)

the compresser started up and it was then i realised all it was was the light bulb blew.

so back to work again doing a re-installation.

 

[yardy]

doesn't really qualify as a BA but I didn't block the end of my 'outpipe' from the kettle and now has been infested with mudwasps :angry:

 

[fixa]

doesn't really qualify as a BA but I didn't block the end of my 'outpipe' from the kettle and now has been infested with mudwasps :angry:

You reckon that's good...
After all the rain we had last month, i went out to the shed to find my stirring spoon had 1/4" of mould growing on it! and just about everything out there was nearly alive with fungus!!!!!!!!!! bring on the iodophor.
Fun times, fun times...... The beauty of living in the tropics.

 

[Sammus]

You reckon that's good...
After all the rain we had last month, i went out to the shed to find my stirring spoon had 1/4" of mould growing on it! and just about everything out there was nearly alive with fungus!!!!!!!!!! bring on the iodophor.
Fun times, fun times...... The beauty of living in the tropics.

I'm in newwy and I found the same thing 2 days ago...maybe not a 1/4" but still, quite healthy cultures of various fungi had uncleaned my up-until-recently clean brewing gear (fermenters and such)...

 

[Pumpy]

I tried to use gravel as a false bottom in my mash tun it worked quite well.

I tried to convince the forum that it was a good idea, I called it 'Gravel Buster Ale'

People Heckled and jeered me

To this day people still give me 'SH one T' over it .

I wish I had not mentioned it ,

It could be regarded as a 'Balls up' .

How can people be so unkind :unsure:

Pumpy :huh:

 

[fixa]

Pumpy, HTFU!!!!



LOL!

 

[yardy]

I tried to use gravel as a false bottom in my mash tun it worked quite well.

I tried to convince the forum that it was a good idea, I called it 'Gravel Buster Ale'

People Heckled and jeered me

To this day people still give me 'SH one T' over it .

I wish I had not mentioned it ,

It could be regarded as a 'Balls up' .

How can people be so unkind :unsure:

Pumpy :huh:

That goes way beyond BA, that's a 6, that's over the stand !