Just take some charcoal pills instead of buggerising around with you beer if it's that much of a problem.
Me? I wanna work out how to get more, dirtier farts out of my brew. My SWMBO tends to beat me in those stakes and it is quite immasculating.
Even harsher considering your handle
Do you brew a lot of stouts / porters bum? I find they bring on the gas more so than other beers...
My wife sometimes goes away around stout/porter club nights...