An Orrange Willie

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Doc - "Hello. How can I help you?"
Man - "I've got an orange willy, doc."
Doc - "What??"
Man - "My willy - it's turned orange."
Doc - "Umm... I'll have to look that up....It seems it could be a sign of stress; do you suffer from stress?"
Man - "Not really"
Doc - "What about stress at work?"
Man - "Well, I did have a nightmare job, a complete idiot for a boss, I worked 80 hours week for pennies and then I got the sack"
Doc - "That sounds very stressful"
Man - "Yeah, but my new job is great - half the hours, 3 times the salary and I feel really appreciated"
Doc - "Umm... what about your home life? That might cause stress and turn it errr... orange"
Man - "Well, my girlfriend is a complete cow, she nags non-stop and puts me down every chance she gets"
Doc - "That sounds stressful"
Man - "Yeah, but I'm leaving her and I've never been happier."
Doc - "Umm... what about your social life?"
Man - "Social life? I don't really have time for one."
Doc - "Really? What do you do in your spare time?"
Man - "Watch porn and eat Cheezels"

Yossel Zelkovitz worked in a Polish pickle packing factory. For many years he had a powerful urge to put his penis in the pickle slicer. Unable to dismiss the thought he sought professional help. After six monthly sessions, his therapist gave up. He advised Yossel to go ahead and do it or he would never have peace of mind.

Several days later, Yossel came home from work very early. His wife Sarah became alarmed and wanted to know what had happened. Yossel tearfully confessed his tormenting desire to put his penis in the pickle slicer. He
went on to explain that he finally went ahead, did it and had just been fired from his job.

Sarah gasped and ran over to her husband. She quickly yanked down his pants and boxer shorts only to find a normal, completely intact penis. Looking up she said, "Yossel, I don't understand. What happened with the pickle slicer?"

Yossel replied, "She got fired, too."

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