It is that time again... time to start practicing for the inevitable
drunken performance of Khe Sanh!
You'll be graded on slurring, animation, and composure. Stumbling is
allowed, but in no circumstances may any drunken choir members vomit
during the performance. Save that for backstage before/after.
Points will be deducted if you don't know at least 80% of the lyrics. In
line with this rule, the use of "The last train out of Sydney" will
attract a specific deduction. You can't catch a train from Sydney to
Hong Kong! "I was long, pay packets lean", while it makes no sense at
all, it is phonetically too similar to the real words (attached), to
realistically be policed, so we will have to let that one slide.
It is after all, the unofficial national anthem, and the official
Brewerhood anthem. Singing in tune attracts bonus points, but is not
required. Extra bonus points the drunker you are, as long as you can
carry the majority of the tune.
You may make up deducted points by being extra vocal (sing louder),
extra animated (headbanging, jumping, hair helicopters), or bringing
the topless barmaids.
Anything that increases your animation attracts bonus points.
However, keep in mind that exposing your genitalia will cause your
currently accrued points to be negated, unless you are one of the
aforementioned topless barmaids. You may, however, make lewd gestures or
suggestions freely, and if these cause you to be more animated, bonus
points will still apply.
There are a few areas that you have to have ticked off before you can
compete:
1. At least 6 full strength beers (or equivalent)
2. At least a partial undress eg: removed jacket or t-shirt
(especially for the aforementioned topless barmaids)
3. At least one observed arse-pinch or made arrangements for a
late-night spooning session (The aforementioned topless barmaids
count here.)
Good luck to all competitors (and late-night spooners).