# Hardest thing you've ever done.



## malt and barley blues (13/10/14)

Reading of Black Devil Dog's loss (commiserations mate ) reminded me of the hardest thing I have ever done when the vet advised that our Staffy would have to be put down after finding a large tumour.
The first injection to drop her failed even though the vet told me it was the same dose as would be given to a Labrador, she stood there legs shaking watching me with that look of love and trust, eventually she dropped and the fatal dose was administered. 
I couldn't speak for hours after and the first thing I said was , No more damn dogs though that never lasted even though it was at least 25 years ago that look on her face is emblazoned on my minds eye and still brings a tear to my eyes.


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## GrumpyPaul (13/10/14)

Having to put our beloved dog down a few months back I understand and empathise with anyone that has been through it.

For me, the hardest thing ever done was going though the experiences that ensued after our son was bashed a few years back.

The good news is he has made an almost full recovery - but that period was the toughest of my entire life.

This went on for a long time with so many "tough" moments.


A call late on a Saturday night from the hospital - "something has happened to you son, can you please come straight away." (they don't like to tell you bad news over the phone - so they don't tell you anything at all).
The surgeon talking to us after the emergency surgery telling us he had 60:40 chance of surviving at all.
Finding out 3 days later the extent of his head injury meant the surgery involved cutting away a large section of skull to relieve swelling, and that a section of his frontal lobe was so badly damaged it had to be removed...we would not know the extent of brain damage until/if he came out of coma
Sitting by his bedside as he was coming out of coma when my son didn't even know who I was.
Months of watching him go through rehab literally learning to walk, talk and do everything again.
Getting him home eventually and sitting down as a family for dinner everyone trying to ignore (or at least not be put off their dinner) by the fact that he was dribbling have of every mouthful down his chin.
I'm stopping that list now - it's depressing me.

As I said he has made virtually a full recovery - back at work, drives a car, live independently now - so it has a happy-ish ending, but that period included a lot of the "hardest things" I have ever had to endure.


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## Forever Wort (13/10/14)

malt & barley blues said:


> Reading of Black Devil Dog's loss (commiserations mate ) reminded me of the hardest thing I have ever done when the vet advised that our Staffy would have to be put down after finding a large tumour.
> The first injection to drop her failed even though the vet told me it was the same dose as would be given to a Labrador, she stood there legs shaking watching me with that look of love and trust, eventually she dropped and the fatal dose was administered.
> I couldn't speak for hours after and the first thing I said was , No more damn dogs though that never lasted even though it was at least 25 years ago that look on her face is emblazoned on my minds eye and still brings a tear to my eyes.


Death is an awful thing, but unavoidable suffering is worse. Sometimes death is the only way forward for those who can live. And I think dogs in particular are happiest expiring near their owner, their life partner and benefactor.

GrumpyPaul: that shit is fucked. What else to say? I hope the person/people responsible have been found and held to account.


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## wide eyed and legless (13/10/14)

Really sorry to hear that mate, a friend of mine was killed by a bit of stupid horseplay and it was his best mate who pushed him just down 3 steps hit his head in the wrong spot and that was it. Can't stand those bullies who go out specifically to bash someone, was driving along through St Kilda a couple of weeks ago and I saw a bloke belting his girlfriend, I pulled up and got out but realised that not in the best of health at the moment could not go in to help her having to be careful of bleeding, got my phone and shouted the police are on their way and the pair of them took off.


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## philmud (13/10/14)

Watching my mum die of cancer 7 years ago tops my list. She was in her late 40s and had young kids still, so it was pretty rough on my family. She died just over a month before my wedding too, so it was a pretty raw few months. You also think that things get better after a person dies, but they don't always. Lots of family tension that stemmed from one person's grief being so loud there wasn't room for other people to deal with things. Jesus this is a morose thread, take care guys!


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## Mardoo (13/10/14)

An Incomplete List

Watched my wife's chronic pain get much worse after the surgery that was supposed to make it better.

Telling her over and over that I can't stay home to help you through the day since we need the money from my work. Like this morning. **** I hate it.

Calling my mate's parents to tell them they needed to fly out now, as their son was in ICU with a brain injury (motorcycle). Helping them bury him 18 months later after he had a complete recovery similar to Paul's son, but didn't block the wheels on his car when he jacked it up. Fell on him. 

Reading Paul's story above. Fuckin' hell mate, I feel for y'all. Good to hear it's improving, but that right there is hell.

Trying to help my best friend's girlfriend make sense of life after he dropped dead for no apparent reason. 

My wife's and my lot is slowly improving as we start a daycare at home together so that I can stay home every day. That's such a relief. I'm down to three days away at work now.


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## GrumpyPaul (13/10/14)

Liking posts in this thread seems a bit wrong - as if you are "liking" what people went through.

My likes are an acknowledgement and show of support for you all. And they are definitely likes for the comments and recognition of my story.

Cheers


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## spog (13/10/14)

Telling mum that dad had died,telling mum that her brother had died.


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## klangers (13/10/14)

Having to say goodbye to my grandfather when he chose to die of pneumonia rather than of advanced prostate cancer... and we all knew that he'd be gone in 24 hours.

2 months later, having to write the eulogy of my best friend who was randomly stabbed to death with a shard of glass by a person who had such severe schizophrenia that they thought my mate was the FBI. He was 22 and his mum had died from a sudden heart attack the year before, leaving only his brother and his dad.

Only recently, a repeat of my grandfather but this time my grandmother, and with a kidney infection.


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## VP Brewing (13/10/14)

Sitting with my wife at the moment in ICU at the Royal Melbourne. She is only 28 and been thru more shit already than most people do in a lifetime but still manages to smile even when they can't get any more blood out her arms. It's funny how in the shit times all the little things that we take for granted mean so much. It's my 30th this thurs and all I want is a couple of good days for her before then and a nice beer before I go back to the hotel


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## yum beer (13/10/14)

Sitting by my daughters side for 3 days as she fought off meningococal, she was only 2 1/2.
Cried as we danced at her Debut earlier this year.


Taking the wife to see the surgeon tomorrow to find out how bad her breast cancer is and what he will be doing next week to try and fix the problem, she's only just turned 40 and its freaked her pretty bad, she's convinced that she is riddled with it. Worst part is she's never been wrong with medical shit up till now.
Hope she's wrong this time.


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## philmud (13/10/14)

Jesus Belgian & Yum, sounds like the "hardest thing" for you guys is current. Hope things work out for both of you!


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## spog (13/10/14)

All the best to you all.


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## Black Devil Dog (13/10/14)

Sad to read about the tough situations that some of you are going through with your loved ones. I wish you well and hope that things work out for the best.


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## pike1973 (13/10/14)

I thought that the worst thing that I would go through would be that my now ex-wife slept with my best mate and my marriage was over , I also lost a person that I thought was my friend. 
But no that wasn't that bad at all because I am now in a great marriage with the best woman ever.
The worst thing in my life was having to give evidence against my brother that was charged with the murder of my mum. He was charged and convicted of man slaughter he has made an appeal and won't know the outcome until later this year, it has been a pretty intense time of my life and I have had a lot of support from all my wife's family . I miss my mum all the time she would of loved the beer I brew now , she didn't mind a beer sometimes.
Adz.


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## wide eyed and legless (14/10/14)

I tried a few times to write last night to give advice to those families affected by cancer, fighting it myself at the moment I thought I would be qualified, but each person has a different approach and my advice didn't look to empathic, ( my wife tells me I am pure Anglo Saxon with a touch of Viking and a trace of Aspergers ) but I am sorry for every ones predicament.
Prince Imperial one bit of advice I can give to you, as your mother passed away from cancer is to get yourself checked regularly and back off from smoked meat, the reading I have done suggests smoked meat or char grilled meat is a cause for cancer.
Death isn't quite as final as one would think, no I am not religious, genes are passed on and while someone is alive who thinks about you you will still be alive.


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## yum beer (14/10/14)

If we were meant to skate through life we would have wheels on our feet.....

As Scar say's in Lion King; 'Lifes not fair, is it.'

Sometimes it throws you curve balls, knocks you down, picks you up and throw's you down again.....the emotion of life is the challenges that we must endure and overcome, some alone, some together with loved ones, but they all shape the people we are and the people we become.
The last 4 years of my life have been both terrible and fantastic, high and low, good and bad and I'm sure these patterns will continue to play out till I return to whence I came in the first place.
To all experiencing shit in their lives, I wish you the best and a quick exit from such situation.
To those who are living good and happy, hold it and appreciate it, it can turn very fast.


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## philmud (14/10/14)

pike1973 said:


> The worst thing in my life was having to give evidence against my brother that was charged with the murder of my mum. He was charged and convicted of man slaughter he has made an appeal and won't know the outcome until later this year, it has been a pretty intense time of my life and I have had a lot of support from all my wife's family . I miss my mum all the time she would of loved the beer I brew now , she didn't mind a beer sometimes.
> Adz.


Wow Adz, that's intense! Sorry to hear that, I can imagine it's like losing your mother AND your brother. It's good that you have support. 



wide eyed and legless said:


> Prince Imperial one bit of advice I can give to you, as your mother passed away from cancer is to get yourself checked regularly and back off from smoked meat, the reading I have done suggests smoked meat or char grilled meat is a cause for cancer.
> Death isn't quite as final as one would think, no I am not religious, genes are passed on and while someone is alive who thinks about you you will still be alive.


You're right, especially as Mum had colorectal cancer. I had a colonoscopy this year and will continue to monitor it. I believe that a high fibre diet and moderate consumption of the bad (but oh so good) stuff is the best way forward. I'm also a prime candidate for skin cancer owing to an Irish complexion a stupid decision to use a solarium when I was 22.
I also agree re: the transference of life through genes. I see mum in my siblings and in my own kids and it's an enormous comfort.
Best of luck with your own struggle at the moment. I hope the outlook is good and the outcome is even better!


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## wide eyed and legless (14/10/14)

Confession time for me, at first I was going to put that the hardest thing for me was selling my business 2 years ago after seven years hard work and living overseas for a lot of that time, the adrenalin rush I got from work, it was like a drug I loved it, but my wife wanted me to spend time at home with her and my daughters.
After reading the posts above I now realise it was the BEST thing I ever did, lots of things can happen in life so its best to make everyday count and get as much out of life as we can.

Prince each time you have a colonoscopy ask to have the gastroscopy at the same time ( just make sure to ask the to do the gastroscopy first  ) What I was reading was stomach cancer was the biggest killer in the days when smoked and salted meats was the only way of preserving meats.


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## zooesk (14/10/14)

I would like to start by say I'm sorry to here everyone's misfortunes the world can be a terrible place sometimes but what happens to us in the past is what makes us the people we are today. 
I thought the hardest thing for me would be not getting to say good bye to my mum who died of an asthma attack when I was 7 we also share a birthday which just so happens to be today happy birthday mum. 
But the hardest thing was to turn the life support off on my 4 mouth premmy one day old son, we had twins and the misses water broke she spent two months in hospital before the boys wanted out bens lungs just didn't get there he just wasn't going to make it rip buddy his brother brayden after 2 more months in hospital made it and you wouldn't even know he almost didn't make it 

he is 3 now thanks for listening


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## philmud (14/10/14)

Happy birthday to you & your Mum Zooesk, and in sorry to hear about your boy, that's a tough break! Take care & raise a quiet glass to them both this evening.


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## zooesk (15/10/14)

Thanks man


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## AHB_Admin (22/10/14)

My mother died when I was 20. 

Oddly enough the hardest part of the entire ordeal (she's been gone 11 years now) was just a few days ago when my 7 year old daughter returned from a friends house and asked "My friend has two grandmas. Why don't I?" at which point I explained my mother had passed to have her follow up with "Do you think she would have liked me?".

It's been a rough few days as a consequence.


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## Josh (22/10/14)

Being by my mum's side as she took her last breath was pretty tough to take. She battled pancreatic cancer for almost 2 years and passed on July 19 this year.

The last 3 months have been hard. I have good days and bad. Lately, more good than bad. It's my sister's 21st next weekend. I'm sure things will get emotional then.


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## Dave70 (22/10/14)

Some of you men and your loved one's have endured, are enduring much anxiety and heartbreak . I'm as sorry for your troubles as a stranger on a forum can be. 
When kids are involved, just seems to ratchet it up to another level. 

Rushing my barely breathing son to hospital when he was around 16 months old with asthma is about the most frightened I can remember being. This also provided a segue to the rudest I can remember being to a medical professional after he insisted on shooting my son full of pethadine to keep him quiet without prior consultation with the pediatrician. After hours of screaming and crying I finally caved in at about 5 am and let him let the nurse give it to him to at least let him get a little rest. As it turned out, the pediatrician flew of the handle at the doctor the next day for not contacting him directly due to the risk that the pethadine may have masked other symptoms. 
To say the least, I'm not much of a metaphysics guy, but sometimes it pays listen to your intuition.


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## malt and barley blues (22/10/14)

Growing up in the 50's there were lots of diseases which could be fatal, I was only very young when I got polio, I could only imagine what my parents went through but I made a full recovery never even got withered limbs just a slight limp in my left leg which went as I got involved in sport, but I remember going to school and the amount of kids in leg irons. One in particular who I remember was Alan Smith and I often wonder what happened to him even though it is nearly 60 years ago, he was a sickly boy with a hearing aid national health specs and a permanently runny nose and of course the leg irons.
He loved football and at the playtime we would pick teams I tried not to make eye contact with but he would edge his way to the front with his chest stuck out anxious to be picked, I couldn't ever not pick him.
He did have a lot of time off school and one day he just disappeared and we never saw him at school again, today is no better I used to think as I grew older all the diseases would be eradicated but now i see there is just as many health issues as when I was younger, child cancer being one.
Children are a constant source of worry from infants to when they get their first car or some idiot bashing them as in Grumpy Paul's case unfortunately death, diseases and sorrow is something we will all have to face it is just part of life.


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## spog (29/1/16)

spog said:


> Telling mum that dad had died,telling mum that her brother had died.


With a heavy heart I've just told Mum that her second son, my older brother Paul passed in his sleep this morning .
55 years old and gone.
Ahhhhhhhhh ****.


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## manticle (29/1/16)

Sorry spog.


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## technobabble66 (29/1/16)

Sorry to hear it spog. Far too young. Must be very tough for you & your mum. Commiserations.


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## razz (29/1/16)

Deepest sympathies to you and the family Spog.


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## dicko (29/1/16)

spog said:


> With a heavy heart I've just told Mum that her second son, my older brother Paul passed in his sleep this morning .
> 55 years old and gone.
> Ahhhhhhhhh ****.


My thoughts are with you and your family mate...


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## wide eyed and legless (29/1/16)

Not good spog, condolences mate.


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## madpierre06 (29/1/16)

Sorry to hear, Spog. Thoughts are with you mate.


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## Kumamoto_Ken (29/1/16)

Really sorry to hear it, my condolences spog.


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## Camo6 (30/1/16)

My condolences Spog.


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## peekaboo_jones (30/1/16)

Sorry to hear spog.

Geez there are some gut wrenching stories here fellas.

You guys are tough.

Hardest thing I've done was watching my wife (at age 29) give birth to our stillborn Son at 30 weeks gestation a couple of years ago. Then organise a funeral for him


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## spog (30/1/16)

Thanks for your words ,but it ain't over the missus got the last flight yesterday to Adelaide because our youngest Tom found the Mother in law in a bad way.
She is in hospital and isn't coming out as cancer has riddled her body and isn't expected to last more than a few days.


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## dicko (30/1/16)

Hell spog you and your family are having a rough trot at the moment....If there is anything I can help you with just call out.


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## Dave70 (30/1/16)

******* hell mate, I hope your fortunes take a turn for the brighter shortly. 
Sorry for your troubles.


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## spog (30/1/16)

Cheers fellas,I was able to sort some of pain this morning by taking Panadol for the hangover after drowning my sorrows last night .
Which caused me to miss the call from my brothers mates who took over his shed for an impromptu wake,apparently it was big one.


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## Grainer (30/1/16)

Ive lost both my parents to cancer, my best friend to cancer and my other best friend in a plane crash 2 days before my wedding (best man) had to put down my dog last week due to cancer and today i found out my other dog has terminal lung cancer.. but none of that shit compares to your wife/soul mate having breast cancer going through severe anaphylaxsis while on strong chemo and nearly dieing in front of your own eyes while you stand there helpless to do anything screaming at nurses and doctors to make her live !! That moment was the hardest for me and i never wish it upon anyone.. cherrish your wife fellers and feel their breasts as much as possible.. you never know .. plus it has other benefits!


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## Grainer (30/1/16)

Sorry to hear Spog.. thoughts are with your family.


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## spog (31/1/16)

Well bugger me!
Yesterday through the fog of Dementia Mum finally realised Paul had died and freaked out,my sister rang Mums sister Betty who said she would come to Lincoln on Monday and stay with Mum.
Got a call late yesterday telling us that Auntie Betty won't be coming as she has had a heart attack .
Righto what's next !

Grainier,I had my dog put down 2 wks ago, and as for feeling boobs that's how I found lumps in my wifes,thankfully benign.


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## wide eyed and legless (31/1/16)

If one could put aside the sorrow and grief, a good writer could make a black comedy out of your recent misfortunes spog.


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## spog (31/1/16)

Weal your not wrong.
My mother in law passed earlier today, but not before giving instructions to all including me.
Gotta love her, a top shelf woman,mother, and mate.i spoke to " mum" shortly before she passed and she told me what she wanted done and I dare not go against her wishes .


From myself,my wife and our children, always kids though they are adults ,and family we thank you all for your best wishes .
I have passed on to family your posts of kindness and best wishes.
And all have been thankful for the kindness of " strangers".
Thank you .


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## spog (24/2/16)

Well since my last post on this topic the worlds best Auntie passed as well ,3 days after the Mother in Law.
Got an Email this morning from a cousin in Norway telling me my Auntie Elsa has passed ,she was a bit of a ratbag and I had some laughs with her.
And a laugh I had,bugger me if I'm not over death,must be getting crowded up there with my family members .
2016 starts next month.


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## paulyman (24/2/16)

Man that is a real rough start to the year, really hope your fortunes improve. I lost a mate suddenly a few years ago, still feels like we were hanging out only yesterday. Nothing compared to what you are going through. A good laugh at some comedy to give your mind a break from reality did wonders for me. Manticle has conveniently setup a comedy post for us all, take a look if you need a laugh. 

Thoughts are with you and your family.


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## Phoney (11/3/16)

Sheesh there's some sad stories here. I guess I'm fortunate that the hardest thing I've ever done was climb and reach the summit of Huyana Potosi, a 6088m peak in Bolivia. With a guide, a group and me personally having almost zero mountaineering skills.


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## welly2 (11/3/16)

Picked between having another beer and going home.


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