# What Is Your Main Manliness



## Zorco (24/5/16)

Whether you call it like you see it, shave with a sharpened shovel, cook with master chef glamour, leap at the chance to change that nappy or leap over fire to grab that next beer...

Share your inner animal or share your most humble thoughts.


Sit in your best chair, bring your blood to its best alcoholic concentration and tell us about your Main Manliness.


----------



## sp0rk (24/5/16)

I can wear pink shirts and still look somewhat like a man


----------



## Airgead (24/5/16)

I build things. Out of wood. With power tools (ok and hand tools as well...but very very sharp hand tools).

Next project is a bed made from jarrah.


----------



## Coodgee (24/5/16)

I have a functioning pair of testicles.


----------



## technobabble66 (24/5/16)

^^ ahh but which hydrocarbon fueled vehicle do you drive to prove this??


(Well, at least that seems to be how it works in my suburb [emoji185])


----------



## Dave70 (24/5/16)

No, that _isn't_ a salami in my pocket..


----------



## Zorco (24/5/16)

sp0rk said:


> I can wear pink shirts and still look somewhat like a man


Is this yours mate?


----------



## sp0rk (24/5/16)

Yeah bro, wear that at the gym all the time when I'm doing curls in the squat rack


----------



## Zorco (24/5/16)

sp0rk said:


> Yeah bro, wear that at the gym all the time when I'm doing curls in the squat rack


Haha, only mucking around.

Keeping strong and fit is indeed a great part of manliness. One of the best. Full respect mate.

Edit: sp0rk said in another thread that he deadlifts 200+kg. For a glance at what that looks like see below....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TCfJQWXs6RY


----------



## tugger (24/5/16)

Airgead said:


> I build things. Out of wood. With power tools (ok and hand tools as well...but very very sharp hand tools).
> 
> Next project is a bed made from jarrah.


I take those tools to the extreme of sharpening. 
Over the years I have collected thousands of dollars worth of stones and gadgets for sharpening and have more books on it than I have brewing books.


----------



## sp0rk (24/5/16)

zorsoc_cosdog said:


> Haha, only mucking around.
> 
> Keeping strong and fit is indeed a great part of manliness. One of the best. Full respect mate.
> 
> ...


Oh stop it :blush: 
Do keep in mind those seem to be Crossfit plates, so are bigger (mostly rubber) than the normal plates you see in most gyms
Took a bloody long time to get there, then I had a trailbike riding mishap and herniated a soft disc :/
Almost back to form finally 6 months later, I'm just about to get back into it again, back to an empty bar and progressively loading up over time
I also have scoliosis, so I have to be EXTRA careful with my back, but I have found the extra strength really helps with the back pain I used to have

Other than that I like to try my hand at as many things as I can.
I build or repair as many things myself as possible, I think there's not enough people these days who are willing to at least have a go at doing things themselves


----------



## Coodgee (24/5/16)

Good technique. Nice and smooth.


----------



## droid (24/5/16)

I've always thought anyone driving those big trucks that recover other trucks to be quite manly. The truckers tow-truck driver.
My mrs always seems "slightly" receptive when I reverse the trailer or van into a tight spot. 
For a raw display of manliness I can carry a carton of tinnies in each hand, clasping the side of the carton just with the hands...**** I must be manly....seriously, how that transfers to being manly as opposed to platting my daughters hair or tying it in a bun for ballet is questionable these days, which is good too I might add


----------



## GibboQLD (24/5/16)

sp0rk said:


> Other than that I like to try my hand at as many things as I can.
> I build or repair as many things myself as possible, I think there's not enough people these days who are willing to at least have a go at doing things themselves


Same here, it's the pay-off for being one of those kids who took a screwdriver to everything to find out how they worked.

Our current TV was a scrap job that a mate was throwing out -- since I'm pretty handy with a soldering iron, I took it off his hands, had a look at the PCB and made a quick* trip to Jaycar.

$2.10 worth of capacitors and 10 minutes of soldering later, the old girl turns on first try. Been going strong ever since.

* Hahahaha, there is no such thing as a quick trip to Jaycar. I usually have to take a packed lunch.


----------



## Zorco (24/5/16)

tugger said:


> I take those tools to the extreme of sharpening.
> Over the years I have collected thousands of dollars worth of stones and gadgets for sharpening and have more books on it than I have brewing books.
> 
> 
> ...


This is seriously cool. And it is an art/skill. This skill is on my bucket list but I'm not even sure I could get it right.

At the highest level, you're not removing metal to sharpen it right? You're bending, honing it ?


----------



## Zorco (24/5/16)

droid said:


> I've always thought anyone driving those big trucks that recover other trucks to be quite manly. The truckers tow-truck driver.
> My mrs always seems "slightly" receptive when I reverse the trailer or van into a tight spot.
> For a raw display of manliness I can carry a carton of tinnies in each hand, clasping the side of the carton just with the hands...**** I must be manly....seriously, how that transfers to being manly as opposed to platting my daughters hair or tying it in a bun for ballet is questionable these days, which is good too I might add


Nope, the word 'opposed' doesn't fit in! 

One of the best things a man can ever achieve is to reciprocate the love their daughters have for them. It will change her (their) world forever.

My 2 year old tore her ballet dress frills and I cracked open the sewing machine kit. My power demo of manliness showed defiance to normal ballet conventions of having the frills even front and back!....ohh noo, now 86% are rearward facing. (Very unmanly to get it wrong, therefore it was deliberate)

Given a choice, she chooses my hack repair work over any other dress.
View attachment 88810


----------



## tugger (24/5/16)

Yes,Bending is done with a steel on a sharp but used knife to bend back the fine edge that is rolled over. 
The honing is a part of the sharpening process. 
Using a rough stone to cut the bevels to the correct angle for use and then finer stones to remove the scratches until you have a polished sharp edge.


----------



## Dave70 (24/5/16)

I drive a diesel ute.


----------



## spog (24/5/16)

Dave70 said:


> I drive a diesel ute.


So do I !
We win, oh and I sharpen my own tools so I'm now one up on you and I've done wieght lifting = 2.
I've stripped a few TVs in my time = 2.5.
I also have a nice smooth technique = 2.51 ish.


----------



## manticle (24/5/16)

I wear trousers.
Every day.
Except when it's too hot.
Tackle freedom is also quite masculine.

I also rarely have a beard but when I do, it's never oiled, waxed or otherwise manipulated bar being shaved off when it itches.

I make crates, I piss standing up and I have hair on my chest.

I look good without a shirt.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=27LLPANAgzw


----------



## Zorco (24/5/16)

spog said:


> So do I !
> We win, oh and I sharpen my own tools so I'm now one up on you and I've done wieght lifting = 2.
> I've stripped a few TVs in my time = 2.5.
> I also have a nice smooth technique = 2.51 ish.


So your Main Manliness is grouping a set of other manly ingredients. Fruit salad manliness!

Edit: that phrasing is.......sketchy. [emoji51] sorry spog


----------



## Zorco (24/5/16)

TomW: this thread just got its first listing on the soundtrack



manticle said:


> I wear trousers.
> 
> I make crates, /quote]
> 
> I'm intrigued; what crates?


----------



## Airgead (24/5/16)

tugger said:


> I take those tools to the extreme of sharpening.
> Over the years I have collected thousands of dollars worth of stones and gadgets for sharpening and have more books on it than I have brewing books.
> 
> 
> ...


My setup is pretty simple. A good set of Japanese ceramic waterstones, a granite block for flattening the stones and one of those ludicrously expensive but oh so precise veritas sharpening jigs. 

Nothing beats using a really sharp chisel. Except maybe a really sharp hand plane... Watching those curls come off the timber...mmmmmm


----------



## Zorco (24/5/16)

https://youtu.be/kFLt0duNrgc


----------



## Airgead (24/5/16)

Indeed yes.


----------



## manticle (24/5/16)

zorsoc_cosdog said:


> I'm intrigued; what crates?


Crates to contain artwork.
Specialised crate making and fitout so probably a bit gay really.

However gay is about as manly as it gets.

I'll repeat this as often as it seems appropriate.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6xxiK6Z4eXs


----------



## Zorco (25/5/16)

The more astute of you out there can already see that the manliness boundaries are not trying to be constrained...


----------



## Dave70 (25/5/16)




----------



## GibboQLD (25/5/16)

Airgead said:


> Nothing beats using a really sharp chisel. Except maybe a really sharp hand plane... Watching those curls come off the timber...mmmmmm


I love the sound and the feel of a freshly sharpened hand plane over a nice piece of timber.

How about some woodworking porn? Nick Offerman shows off a handmade spokeshave on This Old House (skip to 3:27 for the good stuff): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DrIk19omZtY&t=3m27s


----------



## Airgead (25/5/16)

Phwoor! 

I found a couple of old spokeshaves when we cleaned out the MIL's garage when she moved into a retirement place. Must sharpen them up.


----------



## DU99 (25/5/16)

i have seen the crate makers work..early in my worklife for 16 years i worked in railways,drove a few good's train's and most of the other time put trains back on the rails with cranes and hydraulic jacks.moved to maintaining a arts centre complex..have now retired


----------



## Dave70 (25/5/16)

Yeah, you wood working guys have got HUGE mannish balls I must say. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=30zO31Xwud8


----------



## Airgead (25/5/16)

That's one heck of a verandah post... 

Nothing like pushing your equipment to its limits. Though I would recommend maybe a little pre-rounding with an adze first... And maybe bolting the lathe to the floor as well.


----------



## DU99 (25/5/16)

Wonder if he makes "barrels" that way


----------



## GibboQLD (25/5/16)

DU99 said:


> Wonder if he makes "barrels" that way


Speaking of, this is one subset of woodworking I'd love to get into at some point in my life.

Reckon I'd be keen to do it the old way like the Guinness blokes:


----------



## Zorco (25/5/16)

I was just looking for this one. Those blokes are artist/machine hybrids. Great post

Natural first question. Does anyone in Brisbane teach barrel making. Sign me up if there is.


----------



## Airgead (25/5/16)

I want to learn how to do greenwood chairs.

https://youtu.be/IQ9CgtxhaFI


----------



## WarmerBeer (25/5/16)

Airgead said:


> I want to learn how to do greenwood chairs.
> 
> https://youtu.be/IQ9CgtxhaFI


Mad skillz.

I didn't know there even were that many tools.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (25/5/16)

Does being able to wank one handed count ?


----------



## GibboQLD (25/5/16)

Ducatiboy stu said:


> Does being able to wank one handed count ?


----------



## Markbeer (25/5/16)

Being able to repair and service my own and family members lawnmowers.

And making terribly dirty jokes and drinking beer while doing so.


----------



## Zorco (25/5/16)

Airgead said:


> I want to learn how to do greenwood chairs.
> 
> https://youtu.be/IQ9CgtxhaFI


What a beautiful video.


----------



## Wardcliff (25/5/16)

I drive a ute.

I wore a tool belt for an hour today.

I own a .308 calibre rifle, which has despatched numerous feral pigs from grateful farmers' properties.

I have driven a car at over 220kph.

I have ben a passenger in a car at over 240kph (calibrated speedo stops around there).

I have driven ambulances.

I used to carry a gun around all day for four days a week. (Until last December)

I have fired an M4, an M1, an uzi, an AK-47, a Glock 45, a Glock 22, a H&K .45 rifle, a .44 Magnum and solid slugs from a pump action shotgun.

I have been to the FBI academy at Quantico.

I wish I had many of the skills you guys are all talking about. I would love to be able to do handy stuff, but have never really been taught or had the balls to risk doing things myself. For this reason, I have never had the proper tools to do much either.

My main manliness these days is making (badly) and drinking beer.


----------



## spog (25/5/16)

zorsoc_cosdog said:


> So your Main Manliness is grouping a set of other manly ingredients. Fruit salad manliness!
> Edit: that phrasing is.......sketchy. [emoji51] sorry spog


Actually I like fruit salad especially with a dollop of ice cream.....


----------



## Zorco (25/5/16)

Wardcliff is ******* cool

Edit: "I wish I had many of the skills you guys are all talking about."
Yep, this is what I reckon the more I read.

Except the wanking.....that I've got sorted to a suitable and sustainable quality.


----------



## michaeld16 (25/5/16)

Ducatiboy stu said:


> Does being able to wank one handed count ?


Two hands count as a threesome in my book.


----------



## Mardoo (25/5/16)

I'm not this fucker: Melbourne man arrested in US on child sex charges - ABC
https://apple.news/AkJKb_YqjQIyEJ0wMnlZXGA

I protect kids. I love women. I'm there when people need me. I've stepped into the middle of blokes bashing women six times. I've stepped into the middle of blokes bashing blokes four times, and I've stood aside when it was a just beating (however not when it got worse than a necessary lesson). I've given up so many aspects of my life to be there for my chronically ill wife and our child. I admire other men for their skills and qualities. 

I've never really said these things publicly, but I think it's part of being manly and hadn't been said yet. 

And **** me! That dude with the log! Cajones grandes!!!!!


----------



## Zorco (25/5/16)

Massive. Next song on the soundtrack is yours to choose Mardoo...


----------



## manticle (25/5/16)

Mardoo also has good taste in music so there's a chance I may buy this soundtrack when it's released.


----------



## Airgead (25/5/16)

zorsoc_cosdog said:


> What a beautiful video.


Yep. Did you know that if you pick up a properly made greenwood chair and tap it with a hammer it will ring like a bell? The whole thing is held together under tension and all the components act like resonant bars.


----------



## Wardcliff (25/5/16)

zorsoc_cosdog said:


> Wardcliff is ******* cool
> 
> Edit: "I wish I had many of the skills you guys are all talking about."
> Yep, this is what I reckon the more I read.
> ...


Thanks zorzoc_cosdog .... I think. "Cool" wasn't really how I pictured it when writing. And without the benefit of 'tone' in posts, I'm not certain if it was a compliment or sarcasm.

But either way, I'd say I've had the opportunity to do some cool things, but also the necessity to do many very uncool things.

My life isn't what it once was and never will be again, but I think Mardoo's definitely got it right, and I will continue to envy many of the "manly" skills shared on this thread.


----------



## Zorco (25/5/16)

To clear this up (I hope)

Mate, I genuinely think you're Main Manliness is interesting.

Attached is my cheers.





Cheeky Tawny on a cool evening.

Edit: I'm not great at sarcasm....never could master that level of wit.


----------



## peekaboo_jones (25/5/16)

I once drove a tractor for work.

I have hairs on my chest.

My turds sink to the bottom.

I fart when I need to. In bed, on the train, in the office, at the cricket crease...

My most used consumables in the shed are:
CRC, brakleen, Cable ties & duct tape


----------



## manticle (25/5/16)

Serial killing or just basic abduction?


----------



## Wardcliff (25/5/16)

zorsoc_cosdog said:


> To clear this up (I hope)
> 
> Mate, I genuinely think you're Main Manliness is interesting.
> 
> ...


And cheers to you zorsoc_cosdog. With thanks.

On another day we might share a cheeky tawny together.

And to Ducatiboy Stu, I hope one handed wanking counts, because although I'd love to say I had extraordinarily large hands, that's not the true reason they both won't fit.


----------



## Dave70 (26/5/16)

Ducatiboy stu said:


> Does being able to wank one handed count ?


Only if its the non dominant hand. 

I use to struggle, then I found a solution.


----------



## Dave70 (26/5/16)

Wardcliff said:


> I drive a ute.
> 
> I wore a tool belt for an hour today.
> 
> ...


Nonsense..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZuG9kUiRC_I


----------



## Zorco (26/5/16)

When I was shooting at the Hume Pistol Club (still a school boy), one of the guys there let me shoot his .30/30 Thompson Contender.

That was damn memorable.






I only fired off three rounds but my manliness factor went up by an order of magnitude.


----------



## wide eyed and legless (26/5/16)

I can do what most women will claim we mere males can't do, multi task, here I am drinking a beer, while on the phone and watching the football.


----------



## Zorco (26/5/16)

I am beneath you..........


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (26/5/16)

Wardcliff said:


> I drive a ute.
> 
> *Me too*
> 
> ...


Have also

Walked Sydney Harbour Bridge on the railway side ( slightly scary at the time )

Sat above the clock at Central Station in Sydney and ate lunch

Sat in the front of a few train locomotives

Looked at Dave70's solution for the left hand mouse


----------



## Mardoo (26/5/16)

Massive. Next song on the soundtrack is yours to choose Mardoo...


Not sure which song is next, but this has long been one of my favourite movies that touches on some man stuff - The Princess and the Warrior:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UITtZu82-z8

EDIT: OK, found the next song:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jj4nJ1YEAp4


----------



## Zorco (26/5/16)

An everlasting tune like that is locked in to the playlist mate.

Definitely depth to that movie from that brief 10 minutes. I'm going to find a copy.


----------



## Zorco (26/5/16)

I've just noticed Ducatiboy Stu's footer image is not working. And the filename is Touched_By_His_Noodly_Appendage!

Hahahaa


----------



## Mardoo (26/5/16)

zorsoc_cosdog said:


> An everlasting tune like that is locked in to the playlist mate.
> 
> Definitely depth to that movie from that brief 10 minutes. I'm going to find a copy.


Re: tune - sorry Manticle  In truth it wasn't an ironic choice. Wish I had known some of those things as a young man, but then I was a young punk rocker when that song came out, and hearing it about 12,000 times didn't help endear it to me. Now, though...

That person's Youtube channel has the full movie in 10 minute segments. It's kind of hard to find now. There are torrents around. I think I have a copy on my hard drive.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (26/5/16)

zorsoc_cosdog said:


> I've just noticed Ducatiboy Stu's footer image is not working. And the filename is Touched_By_His_Noodly_Appendage!
> 
> Hahahaa


And dont you be forgetting that

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JwI2NrVYqIE


----------



## Florian (27/5/16)

Mardoo said:


> Massive.
> Not sure which song is next, but this has long been one of my favourite movies that touches on some man stuff - The Princess and the Warrior:



Great stuff Mardoo, I still remember watching that one in the movies when it first came out.
It's also the first and only movie I ever converted to play on the 2.5 inch display of my Blackberry 8820 years later.

Also one of the first German movies I made the inlaws watch...

I still have the DVD just in case it can't be found online anymore.
Also, some other great movies being pruduced by Tom Tykwer(with Run Lola Run probably being the best known over here).

By the way, that suspension railway is still in full operation (since 1901) and is by far the coolest public transport I've ever used.


----------



## Dave70 (27/5/16)

I remind myself I must balance my manliness with sensitivity by watching Johnny Cash perform duets with wispy folk singers.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aql_T-1W3NU


----------



## Zorco (27/5/16)

Hey sp0rk and Wardcliff, you guys up for song selection?

sp0rk, possibly something to exercise my latissimus dorsi - epic reps till I'm toned and tanked. Will provide evidence!


----------



## wide eyed and legless (27/5/16)

After just visiting Strawberry Fields NYC was thinking Woman by John Lennon would be apt, but decided to go with Respect by Aretha Franklin.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6FOUqQt3Kg0


----------



## Dave70 (27/5/16)

Wise choice.
Lennon was a vastly overrated wife beating ivory tower asshole.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (27/5/16)

I never did like Areobics

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GiHdpAVIHgo


----------



## sp0rk (27/5/16)

zorsoc_cosdog said:


> Hey sp0rk and Wardcliff, you guys up for song selection?
> 
> sp0rk, possibly something to exercise my latissimus dorsi - epic reps till I'm toned and tanked. Will provide evidence!


Uhhhh...
This is my go to heavy set track

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ei5hEyBnRF4

Also been listening to a bit of Rollins Band while lifting this week
Wish I could find a track of Henry reciting The Iron


----------



## Wardcliff (27/5/16)

zorsoc_cosdog said:


> Hey sp0rk and Wardcliff, you guys up for song selection?
> 
> 
> My girls are about the best thing left of me, so these may not be everybody's cup of tea, (or seem very "manly), but they remind me of my purpose as a man. (The second one talks about a son, but I relate it to my girls).
> ...


----------



## Zorco (27/5/16)

sp0rk / Wardcliff: Well that's got to be the genre bookends to the Main Manliness sountrack


----------



## Zorco (27/5/16)

Ducatiboy stu said:


> I never did like Areobics


Please tell me this is footage of Winkle's AHB X-mas in July.


----------



## barls (27/5/16)

all those that are posting the guns till you have fired one of these suckers you are all well behind.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cGudnVQsnLw
im talk of the big fucker in the back as well.
thats what i use to look after in the military.


----------



## sp0rk (27/5/16)

I was a Navy Cadet when I was growing up (most of the men on my Dad's side were cadets then in the RAN when old enough) and I got to shoot a LOT of stuff civilians would never touch, even before I was 16.
Did a few sea trips and fired off 12mm and 25mm mounted guns, a few bigger pieces as well.
Plus did a few drum corps courses at Singleton & Holsworthy with Army cadets and did range days with them, shooting most things they had on base, only precision rifle we got to touch was the SR-98 tho.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (27/5/16)

zorsoc_cosdog said:


> Please tell me this is footage of Winkle's AHB X-mas in July.


Pretty much any AHB X-mas party :lol:


----------



## Dave70 (27/5/16)

I can feel my testosterone spike just looking ant the manly SR-71.


----------



## paulyman (27/5/16)

Dave70 said:


> I can feel my testosterone spike just looking ant the manly SR-71.


There's an old story that I'd love to believe was even remotely true.

A Cessna pilot asked for a ground speed and altitude check and was given his speed and altitude. A fighter pilot came over the radio and asked condescendingly for the same, which was just over Mach 1 and around 40000 ft. He was clearly trying to impress the Cessna pilot... Then another voice came over and asked for his ground speed and altitude, to which the response was Mach 3 and 80000ft. Fighter jock wasn't heard from again.


----------



## wide eyed and legless (27/5/16)

What you may do when your balls outgrow your brain, personally I like to believe he had a very small brain to start with.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CYMkn07wPso


----------



## Dave70 (27/5/16)




----------



## Camo6 (27/5/16)

Dave70 said:


>


Chutes are for wimps.


----------



## Danwood (27/5/16)

You only get one bad day at work with that shit...


----------



## mash head (27/5/16)

Knowin some days its more important to have a clean arse than be wearin that old Tshirt.


----------



## Zorco (27/5/16)

mash head said:


> Knowin some days its more important to have a clean arse than be wearin that old Tshirt.


A character of the man no longer the boy.

I think I took longer than others to start getting this right


----------



## spog (27/5/16)

barls said:


> all those that are posting the guns till you have fired one of these suckers you are all well behind.
> 
> im talk of the big fucker in the back as well.
> thats what i use to look after in the military.



Ex reservist here,my OC ( WO2) was a Vietnam Veteran he wanted to show us just how serious weapons are.
We set up 6 range targets, each target consisted of 2 x 44 gallon water filled drums with 2 railway sleepers on top ,on top of the sleepers were 4 smaller drums filled with water.
9mm hand guns pfft.
9 mm SMG...pfft.
7.62 mm SLR ...WOW!
7.62 mm AR..... SHIT !
7.62 mm. M60.... WOW HOLY SHIT...
Steel drums, Redgum sleepers reduced to damn near **** all.
Truly drove the message home.


----------



## Danwood (27/5/16)

barls said:


> all those that are posting the guns till you have fired one of these suckers you are all well behind.
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cGudnVQsnLw
> im talk of the big fucker in the back as well.
> thats what i use to look after in the military.


I did my service in a British Army apache squadron (656) as groundcrew, loading bombs and bullets on to those flying beasties shown at the end of the vid (is that naval cannon 30mm too, Barls... the empties look similar sized).
But, in my opinion, all that pales, along with what you drive (**** that, you've bought your 'manliness' there, champ), etc, in comparison to how you care for your family and raise your kids to be decent human beings.


----------



## Camo6 (27/5/16)

Danwood said:


> I did my service in a British Army apache squadron (656) as groundcrew, loading bombs and bullets on to those flying beasties shown at the end of the vid (is that naval cannon 30mm too, Barls... the empties look similar sized).
> But, in my opinion, all that pales, along with what you drive (**** that, you've bought your 'manliness' there, champ), etc, in comparison to how you care for your family and raise your kids to be decent human beings.


Spot on there Dan. I don't own a shotgun to feel like a man. I own a shotgun because I have daughters.


----------



## Danwood (27/5/16)

...and live in Mooroolbark (left yourself wide open there, mate)


----------



## Zorco (27/5/16)

When you blokes tell us what your Main Manliness is, make sure you post a matching song up after.


----------



## Mardoo (27/5/16)

OK, I'll offer up an alternative for the soundtrack. The Plastics, Japan, 1980. That woman...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WfU_HyLXUR0

Shame about understanding the lyrics. They're really ******* funny, once you know what a dick you can be. But then again there's how ******* awesome you are too. Damn JB, your quad was strong!


----------



## lost at sea (28/5/16)

Dave70 said:


> I can feel my testosterone spike just looking ant the manly SR-71.
> 
> i feel the same for the A-10....


----------



## wide eyed and legless (28/5/16)

What would be interesting to know is when did we males shelve our basic instincts of total dominance over the troupe (after all we are only a gnats cock away genetically from our closest relatives) and take up to being happy displaying the best tool or biggest weapon and also to commit to a monogamous life style.
Other mammals still rely on the age old and proven system of dominance by an alpha male to ensure a strong lineage, did it happen before we left the trees or after, and why? Could Sir David Attenborough or Lord Robert Winston, put a time stamp or even a reason for the change? 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aRHqs8SffDo


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (28/5/16)

Mardoo said:


> OK, I'll offer up an alternative for the soundtrack. The Plastics, Japan, 1980. That woman...
> 
> 
> Shame about understanding the lyrics. They're really ******* funny, once you know what a dick you can be. But then again there's how ******* awesome you are too. Damn JB, your quad was strong!


Well that was a bit different


----------



## wide eyed and legless (28/5/16)

Camo6 said:


> Chutes are for wimps.


Jeb Corliss is on to this after this Brit jumped 2,000 ft in a wing suit and landed without a parachute.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h0VvGuu3_L8


----------



## Florian (28/5/16)

Surely there must be some better footage of that landing? Can't see a thing.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (28/5/16)

I reckon you have to have a man's set of balls to survive this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jdxeyu3cSW0


----------



## Dave70 (28/5/16)

Acts of manliness: Derek Redmonds Olympic story.

Oh dear...I think I've got something in my eye..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3mN4P_WxdnE


----------



## goomboogo (29/5/16)

Most blokes would have packed their balls away after this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tq5Ue66WtZo


----------



## tugger (30/5/16)




----------



## Zorco (30/5/16)

Will make a knife
Will start a fire with sticks

Have already camped out for a week, several times - but with too many conveniences...need to find my own food next time

Citizen arrest....I'm going to catch some asshole coward punching someone one day.

Save a life...shouldn't be on the card. Not a good wish.

**** snakes


----------



## spog (31/5/16)

Bottom row forth from the left worries me.


----------



## Mardoo (31/5/16)

Doesn't say take one FROM the team.


----------



## Wardcliff (31/5/16)

zorsoc_cosdog said:


> "Save a life...shouldn't be on the card. Not a good wish."
> 
> 
> A tad more rewarding than growing a beard or starting a fire with sticks though ....
> ...


----------



## Dave70 (31/5/16)

**** beards.


----------



## Zorco (31/5/16)

You know you want to. They are a damn raunchy ****.... Moist and curly, residual sexual juices aroma for hours later.

I'm with you Dave. C'mon ladies - **** beards!

Edit: Someone just hacked my account and posted something disturbing. Golly gosh, I shall have to find that good for nothing bad person and give them a stern talking to.


----------



## Airgead (31/5/16)

That ^^^^ would have to be the most disturbing thing I have read on AHB for a long time...


----------



## wide eyed and legless (31/5/16)

Dave70 said:


> Wise choice.
> Lennon was a vastly overrated wife beating ivory tower asshole.


Well he always was a Jealous Guy.


----------



## Dave70 (31/5/16)

zorsoc_cosdog said:


> You know you want to. They are a damn raunchy ****.... Moist and curly, residual sexual juices aroma for hours later.
> 
> I'm with you Dave. C'mon ladies - **** beards!
> 
> Edit: Someone just hacked my account and posted something disturbing. Golly gosh, I shall have to find that good for nothing bad person and give them a stern talking to.


I mean, as in the exclamation, not the noun sense silly.

But your hacker may have a point.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3C5nE4UqqLk


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (31/5/16)

I guess that when you have a proper beard, instead of glued on pubes or one with that much wax in it that the bee's cry poor, you will take any offer from sexy from hot ladies......

Its ok Dave, sexy ladies also like plumbers as well B)


I am not sure what hipsters do for sex....


----------



## manticle (31/5/16)

They look in the mirror and think 'my beard, tatts, bike, banjo and dinner bill cost heaps but I still look like I'm poor. Might go take some cocaine and have a pull while watching my own youtube channel'.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (31/5/16)

manticle said:


> They look in the mirror and think 'my beard, tatts, bike, banjo and dinner bill cost heaps but I still look like I'm poor. Might go take some cocaine and have a pull while watching my own youtube channel'.


Whilst being careful not to mess up that op-shop $8 knitted jumper ( tan of course )


----------



## manticle (31/5/16)

8 dollar op shop jumper resold for 52 in a retro shop.


----------



## Dave70 (1/6/16)

Ducatiboy stu said:


> Its ok Dave, sexy ladies also like plumbers as well B)



Yep, ladies cant get enough of a man with an enormous invoice.


----------



## Truman42 (1/6/16)

When I was younger....

I used to drive triple road trains carting freight and large Brahman bullocks who Moo really angrily and deeply.

I can back a double road train onto a third trailer and hook it up in the middle of the night.

I've driven large 90 ft charter boats

I worked with Malcolm Douglas at his croc park and have been out catching crocodiles. I've sat on an American Alligator.

I spent a night through a cyclone when Rosetta hit Broome

Now that I'm a bit older...

I can repair home appliances.

I can brew and drink my own beer

The message here to you young guys is enjoy it while you can...

(Driving through flood waters North of Sandfire roadhouse just after Cyclone Rosetta hit)


----------



## Mardoo (1/6/16)

Seriously. Totally true. If I knew then what I know now I would do a few things quite differently.


----------



## Airgead (1/6/16)

Ahhh.... But if you did things differently, you wouldn't know now what you know now...


----------



## Dave70 (1/6/16)

Slightly related, I was talking to a builder mate about a team of brickies working on one of his projects currently. A crew of young blokes, rudely muscled, who work like Trojans and predominantly non drinkers who hit the gym after work rather than the pub. 
Not exactly my recollection of how bricklayers roll. Next to concreters, it was pretty much a brown paper bag sup-a-thon from lunchtime onward.


----------



## Zorco (1/6/16)

Truman, you're welcome to add your Main Manliness song to the soundtrack we've got going on here.


----------



## madpierre06 (1/6/16)

I once picked up a mud crab, thumb over the top, fingers underneath (from the back of the carapace, I'm not stupid). Was drunk, covered in mud, and still have all digits, complete and unencumbered. Shot a rabbit with a 30/30.


----------



## wide eyed and legless (2/6/16)

I could cheerfully kill some humans before I could kill some other defenseless creature.


----------



## Camo6 (2/6/16)

I've never killed a defenceless creature. It's just that their natural defenses were ill prepared for a 150 grain pill moving at just under 3000 feet per second.
But I'd agree that there's more people who deserve death than any other creature on the planet. Except for Collingwood supporters. There should be a bounty on those animals.


----------



## madpierre06 (2/6/16)

Defenceless maybe, a pest definitely. 30/30 is quicker than myxamatosis which was a govt sanctioned method. 

With just a tad of tongue in cheek as well. Just making it obvious for ya.


----------



## Wardcliff (2/6/16)

Defenceless like cockroaches, flies and mosquitos??

Rabbits, pigs and a number of other species are just like bigger versions. It's just that the "Mortein" for those suckers comes packaged as hot lead.


Edit: Hit the reply button by accident.


----------



## Dave70 (3/6/16)

wide eyed and legless said:


> I could cheerfully kill some humans before I could kill some other defenseless creature.


With a 30/30?


----------



## tugger (3/6/16)

Pink mist.


----------



## Weizguy (9/9/16)

wide eyed and legless said:


> I could cheerfully kill some humans before I could kill some other defenseless creature.


Ah, I see you've spent time as a Public Servant.

Seriously though, my brother beats most manly things I've done with a story he told me on Father's Day just gone.
Went to visit my Dad and my brother was telling stories about his son, "the reptile man", bringing home snakes and bats and such.

On one occasion, his son brought home a red-belly from a mate who had no capacity to keep it any longer, and housed it in a glass tank with a secure sliding lid (for safety).
Anyway, the lid ran on tracks, and the tracks got some of the sand from the bottom of the tank in them and the lid no longer closed fully, so, through the tiny gap...
One day the son is panicking slightly and says to Dad, the black snake is out! My brother goes into the boy's bedroom/wildlife enclosure and is presented with a 7 foot long venomous snake (about 8 cm diameter) reared up in the corner of the room to about half it's body length, hood flared out and hissing coz it's shit-scared and deadly with it.
Brother tells the lad to fetch a broom, and pins the snake to the corner of the room and then grabs it firmly (I bet) by the head to gain control. Demands a pillow case to be brought to him. Lowers the snake in, tail-first and at the last moment lets go of the head and secures the now-snake-bag with a zip tie.
Next step is return the snake to the wild, so he tells the young man exactly where to take it (old quarry, about 600 metres away). To cut the story short, the young bloke opens the bag on the way for a look and the snake finds refuge in some age pensioner's yard, and then only tells Dad a few days later of the botched release.

Manly/stupid? Your opinion may may be different to mine....


----------



## Zorco (12/5/17)

Persistence through stupidity, Persistence through Arrogance, Persistence through uncertainty,
Reflective on my words, Reflective on my actions, Reflective on my presence

13 days ago the Queensland Police issued me with my Firearms License, enabling a passion I had when I was a junior pistol shooter in Albury dormant for 20 years through the turbulence of my life.

Looking at a year at an employer that has done nothing but exhilarate and inspire me in my chosen career.

Three children that have moved beyond the levels of infancy to unique, loving, charismatic and supporting family members

A wife that has grown independently yet together, along side with me, for 13 years.


37. Pretty early in life actually.....

**** Yes.

(still part child)

Man I love boobies....... All boobies.


----------



## good4whatAlesU (13/5/17)

I once replaced a tap washer AND the tap stopped leaking.


----------



## Bridges (5/6/17)

I can turn off lights, close doors, and turn the thermostat down, these three things are so much more than mere manliness they must be actual super powers as I'm the only person around my house who is capable of doing them.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (5/6/17)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owGykVbfgUE


----------



## Grott (6/6/17)

I know how to operate the our automatic washing machine!


----------



## Redreuben (24/10/18)

I started a Riot at the motorcycle grand prix when it was at Bathurst. This bag of orange peels behind the juice caravan just whispered "throw me at someone" so I did.

20 mins later it was cans of gravel at the riot cops. True story.


----------



## Danscraftbeer (24/10/18)

Redreuben said:


> I started a Riot at the motorcycle grand prix when it was at Bathurst. This bag of orange peels behind the juice caravan just whispered "throw me at someone" so I did.
> 
> 20 mins later it was cans of gravel at the riot cops. True story.



Yeah but see all the fun had in that you just added to how alcohol, oops, I mean Aussies get a bad name! 

Did I get that right?


----------



## Redreuben (24/10/18)

Bad name ? Hah !
I’m a [email protected]&$ing legend !


----------



## YAPN (24/10/18)

laconic


----------

