# Help me stitch up a mate



## Superoo (13/4/15)

G'day to All,

A mate stitched me up big time a few months ago, with the xxxx island text message, and I fell for it hook line & sinker... spewin.
He's telling everyone and loving every minute of it (as I would).

I need to bide my time and get back at the bastard, but he's got his guard up, so I'm looking for some ideas that he just won't see coming.

I've tried and tried to think of something, but coming up blank.

If you have any idea's to stitch up a rough as guts wheat n sheep cockie who won't stop bloody laughing, I would love to hear them.

I would appreciate any ideas.

cheers,
Chris


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## Mr. No-Tip (13/4/15)

What are some of his hobbies, habits, hangouts. Where does he work?

This kind of social engineering requires some insider info


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## Liam_snorkel (13/4/15)

order something humorous under his name to his workplace..

"ooh a package, I must have ordered something online and forgotten about it, lets open it up to see what it is..Tarzan King of the Jungle Rubber Fist! I DON'T REMEMBER ORDERING THAT"


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## Superoo (14/4/15)

He's a wheat farmer, stays home on the farm working mostly, involved in local footy, likes a beer, loves a laugh, and is a great family man.

He'll suspect anything out of the ordinary.

I'd really like to do something that'll string him along / suck him in for a while...


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## Ducatiboy stu (14/4/15)

https://shipyourenemiesglitter.com/


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## sponge (14/4/15)

Remind me to never get on your bad side, Stu..


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## Nullnvoid (14/4/15)

Do you travel? It's a bit of a down the track thing but wherever you go sign him up on every mailing list you can find. He will forever be sent stuff. It's what I do. It's really annoying


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## manticle (14/4/15)

Just so you know, this thread comes up on the first page of google searching for 'xxxx island' Whatever is decided here might be headed off at the pass if your mate has access to the internet.


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## michaeld16 (14/4/15)

Yeah I googled xxxx island to find out what this txt msg thing is didn't find out what it was but fond this thread


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## Ducatiboy stu (14/4/15)

manticle said:


> Just so you know, this thread comes up on the first page of google searching for 'xxxx island' Whatever is decided here might be headed off at the pass if your mate has access to the internet.


Glad you said *xxxx* island...


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## Superoo (14/4/15)

About 6 months ago or so, 4x island was a sms which you send to your mates, saying you've entered into the draw for a boys trip to 4x island, to really play HARD, all expenses paid.
All you had to do was text 'HARDER' to this number he gave.

A short time later you get a sms with contact info for an impotency support / treatment business...

.........the bastard got a few of us...

@Nullnvoid - you have me thinking
@Stu - Would love to do the glitter thing, but his missus would kill me.
@Manticle - Nah, he would only do the internet for porn mate. His right forearm grew like popeyes in the first month or so after he got the internet connected at the farm


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## Superoo (14/4/15)

Holy $hit...

Doesn't suit me but this is funny stuff...

I googled 'prank your mate', and found this...

http://www.dormstormer.com/college-life/the-best-text-prank-to-pull-on-your-girlfriendboyfriend


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## sponge (14/4/15)

Superoo said:


> About 6 months ago or so, 4x island was a sms which you send to your mates, saying you've entered into the draw for a boys trip to 4x island, to really play HARD, all expenses paid.
> All you had to do was text 'HARDER' to this number he gave.
> 
> A short time later you get a sms with contact info for an impotency support / treatment business...
> ...


Similar to one of my mates. He sent around an SMS about being able to win tickets to the state of origin final by sending an SMS to a number with the word 'TRY'.

About a day later I got a call from an impotence company, had a good giggle as soon as they explained who they were, then hung up mid-giggle.

Those companies must get a fair few of these..


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## Lincoln2 (14/4/15)

Kill a prostitute, bury the body in a shallow grave on his farm, plant some evidence that further ties him to the scene then call the cops with an anonymous tip. We did this to my uncle once; luckily he had a great alibi but he was pretty worried for a while.


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## sponge (14/4/15)

We need prostitutes to stimulate the economy..





Prostitute pun.


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## mckenry (14/4/15)

You could try yo find the following on the net and download it. I fell for it, kinda... read on.

I got a call from a blocked number. When I said hello, a girl his "Hi, its me" The pause is just long enough for you ask "who is it?" then she starts again with "Dont pretend you dont know me" or similar. Then she goes on to say how shes pregnant and its yours. She's going to the cops and she's only 15. Her brother and cousins are gonna get you etc. Every pause from her is just long enough for you to say something in denial or tell her she has the wrong number, then she starts up with it again. 
Now, I knew I hadnt done anything wrong, but that didnt stop me shitting myself that she had my number and was going to the cops.
So what you do is get the audio file ready on your phone, hide your number, ring your mate on speaker, then when he answers, press play and try to stay quiet while they claim innocence. Its cruel, but oh so funny. Even better if you have heaps of people listening.


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## Superoo (14/4/15)

Thanks Mckenry, I'll have a look for that, and more...


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## Superoo (14/4/15)

I've just found out he doesn't even have bloody email


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## Mr. No-Tip (14/4/15)

I like the old Skype conference call prank.

You buy some "real" Skype credit, then conference call two people up on their real phones with yours on mute.

Hilarity ensues.

Got a number for his mother? Worst enemy? Or just cycle through mutual acquaintances.


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## Superoo (14/4/15)

No way he'll have Skype, like i said doesn't even have email.

I think its going to have to be something snail mail--- which leads back to glitter...


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## philmud (14/4/15)

When I was a teenager we'd call people & pretend to be from KFC & offer them free chicken if they cluck like a chook over the phone for two minutes. People are really enthusiastic about free chicken.

You could always make a tokenistic donation in his name to an org he'd never support. I remember The Chaser made a donation to the Libs in the name of The Man-Boy Love Association


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## Kingy (14/4/15)

Dunno if its been mentioned but we use to put a car or boat or bike for sale on gumtree at a good price and the victim gets plenty of calls.
another time my mate used to run the joker draw at the pub we pranked him (ringing the pub ) pretending to be a bikie demanding that he put tickets away for us. He didnt like that one.


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## spog (14/4/15)

Years ago we stitched a bloke up by ringing a lot of porn related suppliers and giving his name and address.
He was inundated with porn movie catalogues etc.
His missus wanted us all dead,she was not happy and gave him merry hell for quite awhile until the truth came out.
Bloody funny at the time,actually it still is to this day,someone always brings it up when he and his wife are around.


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## manticle (14/4/15)

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WdtFZPxnweM


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## Black Devil Dog (14/4/15)

This one worked better than my wife and I could have ever expected.

It was back when magazines had those little cut out coupons that you filled out and sent away for more information. They're not very common nowadays, but with a bit of cunning you might still be able to make it work.

What we did to get revenge on someone who thought he'd stitched me up, was to fill out every single one of those little information request coupon things, with his details and send them away. 

After about 6 months of pretty dedicated revenge, he had mail arriving from all corners of the globe offering all sorts of things, including how to build a ship in a bottle, forms to fill out to become a Jehovah Witness, after all, he'd sent a request for it. How to marry an Asian bride. All sorts of sex toy literature, university courses, learn a new language, house plans, sewing patterns, colouring in competitions, you name it, he received it.

His girlfriend was getting really worried that he was lying to her and leading some sort of double life.

He never suspected it was us and when we finally told him, he still didn't believe us.

It was awesome.

We got a lot of the magazines for free from doctor waiting rooms, hairdressers, friends etc and the coupons could be sent free as well. So it didn't cost much either.

I'm not sure how you would adapt it to make it work today, but if you can make it work, you'll get sweet revenge.


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## pcmfisher (15/4/15)

Wire a partially open can of sardines to his exhaust manifold. B)


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## Mardoo (15/4/15)

pcmfisher said:


> Wire a partially open can of sardines to his heater air intake. B)


FTFY


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## Mr. No-Tip (15/4/15)

Superoo said:


> No way he'll have Skype, like i said doesn't even have email.
> 
> I think its going to have to be something snail mail--- which leads back to glitter...


No you misunderstand. You can add $ credit to your Skype, and call real numbers from it.


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## Grainer (15/4/15)

Brew a stout with with sheep testacles in the boil and don't tell him


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## Camo6 (15/4/15)

pcmfisher said:


> Wire a partially open can of sardines to his exhaust manifold. B)


I'm liking where this is going. You could import some pure skunk essence and tip it into his plenum chamber. I think I might have read that on this forum before.

Did you mention he's a farmer? On the subject of odours, I wonder if you could put some eau d'estrus in his gumboots and get all the neighbouring dogs humping his leg everytime he walks the paddocks?


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## TheWiggman (15/4/15)

I'm guessing he's a farmer and not overly tech savvy. If you know the autocorrect function in Word, see if you can jump on his PC and add a few words to the autocorrect list -
No : hell no
Yes : shit yeah
(Wife's name) : ex's name
(His name) : Dickhead
Would : wouldn't 
Will: won't 
Regards : I love every flower
Please : pretty please
It : when the going gets tough it

The last two are particularly effective because if you're typing on the keyboard one hand style you look up and see the last word you've typed, but if you're not on the ball you fail too see the word/s crammed in front. 
The above prank is particularly hilarious at workplaces as I have demonstrated to my unsuspecting colleagues over the past 8 years. It's great for people who are no good with PCs though because if they can't work it out, they CAN NOT type the words without them changing. Sounds simple but bloody annoying for people who just want to write an e-mail every now and then without addressing themselves as Dickhead.

Edit: just read post 20, oh well.


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## Florian (15/4/15)

Grainer said:


> Brew him a stout with sheep testicles in the keg and show him once he finished it.


FTFY


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## Superoo (16/4/15)

Loving these ideas lads, 

Sheep nuts in a boil... wouldn't bother him, bushy as, he wouldn't even blink.

The Skype thing... yes now I get it, cheers - I actually have a Skype account -- somewhere...

A mail barrage of some sort is probably the best go, he only gets his mail once or twice a week, might have to start entering some things...


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