# Here Kitty!



## warrenlw63 (21/6/05)

For the cat lovers. h34r: 

Warren -


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## chiller (21/6/05)

warrenlw63 said:


> For the cat lovers. h34r:
> 
> Warren -
> [post="64395"][/post]​




You're a bad person  you know that don't you? 

Have you seen the book 101 uses for a dead cat?

In my younger days I gave a copy of that said book to my mother in law, a breeder of fine feline flesh. I particularly like the use of a cat as a pencil sharpener. 

Steve


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## warrenlw63 (21/6/05)

Here you go Steve. :lol: 

Must type quickly. If SWMBO catches me doing this she'll be penning "101 Uses For a Dead Brewer" h34r: 

Warren -


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## Stuster (21/6/05)

The well-mannered creature God intended!!

I'm a believer in the old proverb, "The only good cat is..."

Stuart


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## Doc (21/6/05)

Alien boy said:


> I know its wrong but I've always wondered what dolphin tastes like
> [post="64458"][/post]​



Goes well on toast  

Doc


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## Kai (21/6/05)

Alien boy said:


> In some countries it is considered culturally normal to eat cats and dogs,maybe we should be farming them :huh:
> Roast of rottweiler,and siamese stirfry are 2 possibilities! h34r:
> 
> I know its wrong but I've always wondered what dolphin tastes like
> [post="64458"][/post]​




tuna


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## sosman (21/6/05)

To a good home ...


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## Hoops (21/6/05)

Alien boy said:


> I know its wrong but I've always wondered what dolphin tastes like
> [post="64458"][/post]​


I've had dugong and I reckon dolphin would be half way between tuna and dogong

Hoops


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## TidalPete (21/6/05)

warrenlw63 said:


> For the cat lovers.



I love cats, especially with three veges. :beerbang:


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## ausdb (22/6/05)

Kai said:


> Alien boy said:
> 
> 
> > In some countries it is considered
> ...



Just like chicken!!


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## THE DRUNK ARAB (22/6/05)

Who said cats were cute?


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## warrenlw63 (22/6/05)

:lol: I'll go one better. 

Warren -


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## chiller (22/6/05)

warrenlw63 said:


> :lol: I'll go one better.
> 
> Warren -
> [post="64547"][/post]​




Just a thought


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## warrenlw63 (22/6/05)

Awww no Steve! That's visual overload :lol: 

I've got those bloody things all around the house. My 10 year old daughter is obsessed with them. Buys the cards for everyone's I repeat "everyone's" birthdays.

Has a range of the stuffed toy variety of the ugly little buggers in her room too. :blink: 

Warren -


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## chiller (22/6/05)

Personally I think they are about as cute as Typhoid -- but that's just me.

I would never hurt one but probably would not swerve either. 

Steve


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## MAH (22/6/05)

Can't say I'm too keen on the little buggers. I like to refer to them as a Wamsley. A bit of ryhming slang - Wamsley Hat = Cat.

Dr John Wamsley, a keen and controversial activist for saving Australian fauna and flora, once wore a hat made from a skinned cat. At the time he was setting up Yookamurra Sanctuary and eradicating cats. A group of animal liberationists pointed out it was illegal to do anything about feral cats destroying the wildlife and they would take action against Dr Wamsley if he shot any. A friend of his who had been shooting gave Dr Wamsley a cat skin he'd shot at Arkaroola creek. His wife made it into a hat and he wore it to a tourism awards night.

Cheers
MAH


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## Weizguy (22/6/05)

I got more.
Just wait till I get home, for pic posting.
I luv cats. They taste like chicken.

Seth out


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## warrenlw63 (22/6/05)

Something tells me I'll be viewing this after dinner. :wacko: 

Warren -


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## Kai (22/6/05)

I'd prefer a cat to a dog. If I wanted something to slobber in my crotch and piss itself when I got home, I'd hire a...nevermind.


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## warrenlw63 (22/6/05)

Kai said:


> I'd prefer a cat to a dog. If I wanted something to slobber in my crotch and piss itself when I got home, I'd hire a...nevermind.
> [post="64580"][/post]​



:lol: :blink: 

Warren -


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## Tim (22/6/05)

> QUOTE(Kai @ Jun 22 2005, 01:02 PM)
> I'd prefer a cat to a dog. If I wanted something to slobber in my crotch and piss itself when I got home, I'd hire a...nevermind.



I take it your after a very different type of pussy Kai! :lol:


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## Wax (22/6/05)

Ka's evil twin

Click Here 1.01 MB mpg


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## Wax (22/6/05)

Well that didn't last long. Where can I post mpg's for everyone to see? Can I email the to one of you techo nerds to post somewhere? 

I mean nerds it the nicest possible way.


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## Doc (22/6/05)

How can you hate cats ? They are such clean animials.
See here, he is evening cleaning his teeth.





What do you mean, that isn't his toothbrush ???  

Doc


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## mikem108 (22/6/05)

"Dr John Wamsley, a keen and controversial activist for saving Australian fauna "

Ol' Wamsley used to be my Mathematics Lecturer at Uni but all we heard about was his animal sanctuary and not much maths


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## macr (22/6/05)

Alien boy said:


> I know its wrong but I've always wondered what dolphin tastes like
> [post="64458"][/post]​


I thought you could get tins of tuna free dolphin from the supermarket!


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## chiller (22/6/05)

Wax said:


> Ka's evil twin
> 
> Click Here 1.01 MB mpg
> [post="64591"][/post]​





Wax,

That is a brialliant clip.

Based on the intelligent car defence system I would look at getting one.


This is a very sad thread -- keep it going guys 

Steve


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## barls (22/6/05)

macr said:


> Alien boy said:
> 
> 
> > I know its wrong but I've always wondered what dolphin tastes like
> ...


hmm dolphin the other white meat


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## nonicman (22/6/05)

Guess dolphin would be like whale. 
From this site, www.meistrospektiv.com/archives/000026.php




:beer: good outcome.


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## Tony M (22/6/05)

nonicman said:


> Guess dolphin would be like whale.
> [post="64640"][/post]​


I waited until someone mentioned whale so I couldnt be branded chief hijacker.
Back in the fiftys my father was connected with the whaling industry in Albany and as he had seven hungry kids and a poor paying job he sometimes came home with a cubic foot of whale meat which my mother used to prepare (badly I'm afraid) for the family dinner. Well let me tell you, It ate like rope and tasted like the bottom of the bait bucket after a day in the sun. No wonder they say the Nippon is inscrutable.


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## Vlad the Pale Aler (22/6/05)

Tony -
Now just because Mrs. M is out of town and the next Perth brewday will be without the famed chicken wings, are you trying to to prepare us for a bit of ' whale surprise' ?
And was the chicken really chicken?


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## Weizguy (22/6/05)

Alien boy said:


> I know its wrong but I've always wondered what dolphin tastes like
> [post="64458"][/post]​



Prob nothing like freshly-clubbed harp seal, or a feed of fresh whale blubber. Mmmmm, it literally melts in your mouth.

Yep, dolphin does taste like tuna, yet it's a mammal. Go figure...

Also check out this sitePets or Food, for some real carnivore action.

Seth


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## Kai (22/6/05)

Here's another one of the Ka ones 

View attachment Final_Bird.mpg


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## THE DRUNK ARAB (23/6/05)

I know some of you may have seen this before but as far as pets or food goes you can't go past these delicacies.


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## warrenlw63 (23/6/05)

TDA,

That just outdid the cockroaches on satay skewers I saw at a Bangkok Hawker's stand. :blink: :blink: 

Think I'll be sick now.

Warren -


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## Borret (23/6/05)

I think he licked off one too many furr balls

Borret


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## barfridge (23/6/05)

"Is this chicken, what I have, or is this fish? I know it's dolphin, but it says 'Chicken of the Sea.'"
- Jessica Simpson

At least there's one person in this world who is more confused than you guys. h34r:


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## THE DRUNK ARAB (23/6/05)

warrenlw63 said:


> TDA,
> 
> That just outdid the cockroaches on satay skewers I saw at a Bangkok Hawker's stand. :blink: :blink:
> 
> ...



Gotta love satays Warren.


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## warrenlw63 (23/6/05)

TDA,

Let's not even begin to contemplate what constitutes the peanut sauce. :lol: 

Warren -


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## scott70 (23/6/05)

All this talk of cats reminds me of the guy from coonamble who walked into the local chinese with a dead cat he found on the road after a big session at the pub.
He walked in when the place was packed and slapped it on the counter and yelled out "This is the last cat you are getting until you pay me for the rest."


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## scott70 (23/6/05)

sounds good though.
are you a real alien or are you just tricking?


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## johnno (23/6/05)

play the kitty canon game and see how far you cand get the kitty to go.
I got to 484 feet.

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/kittycannon.html

johnno


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## Weizguy (23/6/05)

pix
tight pussy
View attachment tight_pussy.bmp


wet pussy




shaved pussy



Seth out


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## bonk (23/6/05)

> Johnno :
> I got to 484 feet.



not bad, check out this bad boy.


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## ozbrewer (23/6/05)

bonk said:


> > Johnno :
> > I got to 484 feet.
> 
> 
> ...




igot 1334....but WTF do you do a screan capture like that?


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## ozbrewer (23/6/05)

1436


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## bonk (24/6/05)

why did i do a screen capture?

why not, plus i figured it was a 'safe' way to verify my score.


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## ozbrewer (24/6/05)

sorry bonk, i typed that sooo wrong...i meant how TF do you do it, i recon its cool.......


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## dicko (24/6/05)

barfridge said:


> "Is this chicken, what I have, or is this fish? I know it's dolphin, but it says 'Chicken of the Sea.'"
> - Jessica Simpson
> 
> At least there's one person in this world who is more confused than you guys. h34r:
> [post="64728"][/post]​



I 'll bet she would be more confused if she saw this.


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## deebee (24/6/05)

It's not too hard to eradicate them from your neighbourhood. Make friends with them and get them to drop in from time to time for a feed. Then crush a few panadol into their sardines. When they have finished their meal, make a big scary noise and they will run away to die somewhere else. This works and is apparently more humane than snail baits (also effective).

Repeat this process to its natural conclusion and you will notice native birds, lizards and other small fauna return to your neighbourhood.

If you own a cat and you are worried that you may live in my neighbourhood, keep it neutered and inside and I can guarantee its safety. (Bells do not work unless they weigh over 1kg.)

"Free Cat" -- I'm still laughing.


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## Tony M (24/6/05)

Okay, Lets really get stuck into these cats. Let your kids play. See what they will turn out like in 20 years.

http://www.richsalter.btinternet.co.uk/cks2/index.html


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## deebee (24/6/05)

deebee said:


> It's not too hard to eradicate them from your neighbourhood. Make friends with them and get them to drop in from time to time for a feed. Then crush a few panadol into their sardines. When they have finished their meal, make a big scary noise and they will run away to die somewhere else. This works and is apparently more humane than snail baits (also effective).
> 
> Repeat this process to its natural conclusion and you will notice native birds, lizards and other small fauna return to your neighbourhood.
> 
> ...




Ooops I have certainly worn my opinions on my sleeve a little too blatantly here and have understandably attracted some attention by PM. I extend my genuine apologies to any reponsible cat owners and animal lovers generally if I have offended anyone. Shock tactics were employed to jolt people out of the complacency most cat owners have about their little kitty not harming a flea. Cats are killers by nature not because they are evil but because evolution programmed them that way. I consider myself to be an animal lover and for this reason I do take a stance against cats being allowed to roam at will.

I am reliably advised that paracetamol is not a humane way to kill cats. I do not particularly advocate the killing of cats and have comfortably lived with my own neighbour's cats for several years. They are neutered and kept inside at night.

I do advocate the responsible owning of cats provided that they are neutered, kept inside, especially at night, and made to wear bells.

In summary, I pull my head in generally but most of all, I apologise for posting about cats on a beer forum.


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## Asher (24/6/05)

"Word-Up" deebee....

I know this is a beer forum.... but I have to post this pic I just got via email...




....Enough said about cat owners... h34r: 

Asher for now


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## Asher (24/6/05)

No its not my cat...... or my reflection :beer: :beerbang:


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## warrenlw63 (24/6/05)

:lol: :lol: Asher expecting a PM from the moderators any time soon?

Warren -

(Thought it was Groucho Marx)


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## bonk (24/6/05)

johnno, right, understand now. i just did an alt+prtsc, stuck it in mspaint, cut out the bits and then attached it to the post.


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## ozbrewer (25/6/05)

exelent, thanks mate, ive alays wanted to do that......mayte, dont ever take anything i say the wrong way.....i have dyslexic fingers and i awlways type it wrong....thank for teaching me a new trick


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## FNQ Bunyip (25/6/05)

Yes thanks for the screen shot tip Bonk. I've wanted to do that sooo many times and could never work it out ... 

Busy telling Swmbo I need to spend more time @ AHB to learn more great tip's ..

 

Cheers FNQBunyip


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## Linz (26/6/05)

How they really are



How they should be





Where they might be of use


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## TidalPete (26/6/05)

johnno said:


> play the kitty canon game and see how far you cand get the kitty to go.
> I got to 484 feet.
> 
> http://www.ebaumsworld.com/kittycannon.html
> ...



876 enjoyable feet johnno.


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## nonicman (1/11/05)

I guess there has been a few jokes about cats, but I've gained a feline problem. 
I'm not a cat person and have a few cat pelts under my belt so to speak (sorry to the cat lovers but that is reality).
The problem, a vile cat has come to our flat begging for whatever, it's like a dog and follows us around. Nobody claims ownership, but I can't dispatch it as it appears to have asked for our help and is extremely friendly. So I've locked it inside at night and let it out during the day hoping it would either get run over or go back to it's real owners. It hasn't and it is tugging at the heart strings. 
The cat appears house trained but is an undesexed male (illresponsible owners). I can't keep the thing as cats don't belong in this country, yet I can't dispatch it as it has asked for help. Which option would you take?

1. take it the RSPCA and let them dispatch it,
2. close my eyes and dispatch it
3. have it desexed and accidentally dispatch it
4. keep it, but leash it during the day (can't build a cage for it as I rent a small town house)
5. ?

Edit: anyone want a free cat? could post it.


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## Fingerlickin_B (1/11/05)

Have it put down...that way it is all nice and legal. 

"Donating" it to the RSPCA would be the no-cost way to go, as nobody ever buys an adult male cat  

PZ.


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## Linz (1/11/05)

or you could do thids with it....


http://uk.download.yahoo.com/pr/fu/oa/whathappenswhen.doc


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## FNQ Bunyip (2/11/05)

put it out of its misery, its missing its old home ,its lost and hungry dispatch it for its own good . its just cruel keeping it ... 

Cheers fnqbunyip


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## Duff (2/11/05)

Take it to the RSPCA, it's one place where owners go looking for lost pets.


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## Ross (2/11/05)

RSPCA is the go... you don't want it turning up in your next takeaway...


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## Bazza (2/11/05)

"cats don't belong to this country"??
Same as white fellas, certain dogs, rabbits, foxes, etc etc etc. 
Cats cause less damage than feral dogs/foxes/pigs, people just like to slag them off for some reason.


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## nonicman (2/11/05)

RSPCA it is.


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## MAH (2/11/05)

Bazza said:


> Cats cause less damage than feral dogs/foxes/pigs, people just like to slag them off for some reason.



Because they're nasty little creatures!

Not sure about cats doing less damage than other animals, but the fact remains they still do significant damage, and it's not just the feral cats.

There was a survey conducted in Adelaide and rural South Australia on the predatory behaviour of domestic cats. The study was based on a survey given to cat owners (can't claim anti-cat bias if it's the owners providing the evidence). The survey found that about 62% of cats took birds, 59% took mammals and 34% took reptiles; some took frogs and insects. Twice as many mammals (15.7) were returned on average by cats to their owners each year than either birds (8.0) or reptiles (7.8). Capture rates varied with locality, being least in suburban areas (22.1 individual prey taken per year) and greatest in rural areas (54.3 prey/year), presumably reflecting differences in prey abundance or accessibility, or in the opportunities for hunting by the cats. These capture rates are probably underestimates, as well-fed cats in a comparable study on a farm in Illinois found that only half the prey captured were returned to the household.

Rough extrapolations from the capture rate data suggest that the impact of domestic cats on native fauna is substantial. Given densities of cats in suburban Adelaide of 2/ha, densities of birds of 10-30/ha and an offtake by cats of 10-20 birds per year, predation by cats will remove at least 50% of the standing bird populations or destroy all the young being hatched. In such circumstances, populations could be maintained only by continuous immigration from surrounding areas where cat predation was less intense.

So don't make excuses about cats being better or worse than other animals. Fact is that even domestic cats are crap for the environment. 

The only good cat is a Wolmsley hat!

MAH


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## Samwise Gamgee (2/11/05)

> QUOTE(johnno @ Jun 23 2005, 08:16 PM)
> play the kitty canon game and see how far you cand get the kitty to go.
> I got to 484 feet.
> 
> ...



1004 Feet!


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## Kai (2/11/05)

1,342 feet!


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## peas_and_corn (2/11/05)

Bazza said:


> "cats don't belong to this country"??
> Same as white fellas, certain dogs, rabbits, foxes, etc etc etc.
> Cats cause less damage than feral dogs/foxes/pigs, people just like to slag them off for some reason.
> [post="87579"][/post]​




Yeah, but I've never met someone who has been breeding feral pigs...


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## MAH (2/11/05)

peas_and_korn said:


> Yeah, but I've never met someone who has been breeding feral pigs...



You sure P&K? I grew up in the northern suburbs and there was a lot of feral pigs breeding out there  .

Cheers
MAH


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## big d (2/11/05)

MAH said:


> The only good cat is a Wolmsley hat!
> 
> MAH
> [post="87602"][/post]​



i will second that.there a damn menace up here in arnhemland.cane toads might dent there numbers though.

cheers
big d


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## Ross (2/11/05)

Shame they don't taste better...


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## ryanator (2/11/05)

I can't stand cats. That's why I love this pic!


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## Kai (2/11/05)

Cats may be hunters by nature and toy with their prey, but people ought to be above animal cruelty. I find pictures like that repugnant.

Unless the cat's dead already, in which case I don't really care.


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## pint of lager (2/11/05)

Nonicman, if you cannot keep a cat, or don't want a cat as a pet, then the RSPCA is the right option.

However, if you had ever contemplated a cat, looks like you have found one that likes you and is already house trained. 

Desexing a male cat isn't that expensive.

I agree with everyone's comments that cats can be a real menace in the bush and any feral cat that wanders past here gets a dose of lead. But they also make very nice pets too. Cats catch mice. Mice attract snakes. Therefore a mouser (not a mauser) can be an excellent pet around the place.


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## Murray (2/11/05)

I don't mind the humble cat. They are like any other pet, a good owner will have the cat desexed and trained not to hunt (or at least have a bell around the neck). Blaming cats because of irresponsible owners is the same as trying to have dog breeds banned because some idiots either don't train them or train them to be agressive.


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## Samwise Gamgee (2/11/05)

> Cats catch mice. Mice attract snakes. Therefore a mouser (not a mauser) can be an excellent pet around the place.



Depending on where you live a Mauser might be an excellent "pet" to have around the place!


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## deebee (2/11/05)

Can't let my favourite topic go without comment...

I grew up with pet cats (and ducks, chooks, geese, mice, fish, yabbies, wallabies, birds, galahs, guinea pigs, rabbits, turtles, crazy crabs, dogs) and I have been emotionally attached to several cats so I understand how hard it is to kill a friendly cat, nonicman so the RSPCA option might be best.

But make no mistake, cats are responsible for the extinction of many a marsupial in this country and continue to wreak destruction. Any effort to re-establish native fauna always starts with baiting foxes and cats and fencing them out of an area. But cats are better suited to Australian conditions than foxes as they can go without water for very long periods of time and survive well in desert environments.

For a mouse problem, get a jack russell or a fox terrier. They are much better mousers and ratters than cats, and they won't attack birds or lizards like cats do.

Rats make good pets too. Intelligent, clean, easily trained, affectionate and content in captivity. But if it escapes to my house, I will poison, trap or somehow kill it if I can and finding a humane method comes second to finding an effective method.

Same with cats.


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## Kai (2/11/05)

I can understand it for necessity's sake, deebee. But finding humour or satisfaction in it is something I can't fathom. 

Sorry, rant mode off. Time for a beer.


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