# Air Lock



## QldKev (10/7/10)

My air lock is not bubbling. What should I do...


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## DUANNE (10/7/10)

try the search function :lol:


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## marksfish (10/7/10)

take the kitten out


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## dans6401 (10/7/10)

marksfish said:


> take the kitten out


+1.


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## DU99 (10/7/10)

how long has the brew been in the fermenter..what type of yeast...and what are you brewing..also tighten the lid does help..


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## QldKev (10/7/10)

I never used to have a problem before, it's only since I've removed the lid and started using glad wrap... What should I do?  

QldKev


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## j1gsaw (10/7/10)

bwhahahah have another beer


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## bradsbrew (10/7/10)

QldKev said:


> I never used to have a problem before, it's only since I've removed the lid and started using glad wrap... What should I do?
> 
> QldKev



I use food grade gaffa tape to tape my airlock to the glad wrap seems to work well but you do need a second layer of glad wrap for strength. Also I have found that if you put the airlock in the lid upside down it prevents bugs getting into your brew from the top of the air lock :huh: 

Brad


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## QldKev (10/7/10)

DU99 said:


> how long has the brew been in the fermenter..what type of yeast...and what are you brewing..also tighten the lid does help..



I got the bacterial type yest, and brewing beer. But I can not find the lid, it went out in the rubbish truck a couple of months ago :mellow:


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## bum (10/7/10)

QldKev said:


> I got the bacterial type yest, and brewing beer. But I can not find the lid, it went out in the rubbish truck a couple of months ago :mellow:


 

Now be nice. He's trying to help.


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## mccuaigm (10/7/10)

chuck a kilo of sugar in


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## bradsbrew (10/7/10)

All Latest Threads: Air Lock  by bum

Sorry for the off topic, I know there is a special thread for it but I couldnt be arsed doing a search.


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## DUANNE (10/7/10)

QldKev said:


> I never used to have a problem before, it's only since I've removed the lid and started using glad wrap... What should I do?
> 
> QldKev



can see the problem now, what you need is a hammer, a screwdriver and some silicone.that lot can fix all your problems


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## jyo (10/7/10)

Ahh, my googling is good.


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## rendo (10/7/10)

i had the same problem. Fixed it SUPER EASY.

*Steps to Fixing a broken airlock due to using glad wrap*
1. Make sure the fermenter is full
2. Get a 9mm drill bit and put it in your charged cordless drill or power drill
3. Bore a 9mm hole about 1 inch to the right of the tap all the way thru the fermenter(not the left...must be right)
4. Ignore the beer spillage, you can lick that up later.
5. Insert a rubber bung and the airlock into the new hole
6. whammo, your done...back up and running again mate...

Have fun
(dont forget to lick up that spilt beer. If you are super OCD then have a bucket ready beforehand ready to catch the beer




QldKev said:


> I never used to have a problem before, it's only since I've removed the lid and started using glad wrap... What should I do?
> 
> QldKev


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## big78sam (10/7/10)

call butters!


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## Cocko (10/7/10)

big78sam said:


> call butters!



HAHAHA!! :lol:


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## muckey (11/7/10)

big78sam said:


> call butters!



and ask him to bring a kitten and some bubble wrap


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## hoohaaman (11/7/10)

QldKev said:


> My air lock is not bubbling. What should I do...



Add some chinese hops,they make anything bubble. B)

If you are a good brewer..............otherwise no bubbles


BTW what was wrong with Butters?Or was it a pommy thing?Wrong soccer team?
I never understood the hate and still don't??


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## bum (11/7/10)

There is no hate. Everyone has nothing but love for Butters.

Excluding Darren, I suppose.


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## gregs (11/7/10)

QldKev said:


> My air lock is not bubbling. What should I do...




Kev, call an ambulance, give 2 breaths followed by 30 pumps to the chest repeat the process until medical aid arrives, good luck.


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## Pennywise (11/7/10)




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## big_dazza27 (11/7/10)

Sometimes if my airlock doesn't bubble i try raising temps until it starts. 

I find about 28 degrees to be the sweet spot for an ale or about 20 degrees for a lager. 




It's pretty important to make sure it bubbles especially if you're doing a VB clone.


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## chappo1970 (11/7/10)

QldKev said:


> I got the bacterial type yest, and brewing beer. But I can not find the lid, it went out in the rubbish truck a couple of months ago :mellow:



Pure Gold QldKev!!!! :lol: :lol: 

Maybe next time try some bakers yeast? :icon_drool2:


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## manticle (11/7/10)

Hi guys,

I put a brew down yesterday and the hydrometer says it's the same today. Should I bottle?

Brew was 3 tins of milo and a finishing hop tablet.

Also I think I may have invented a new way of brewing using malt instead of sugar.


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## Dazza_devil (11/7/10)

manticle said:


> Hi guys,
> 
> I put a brew down yesterday and the hydrometer says it's the same today. Should I bottle?
> 
> ...




Hi Manticle,
It looks a lot like you may have forgotten to put the yeast in. I'd still go ahead and bottle but spit into each bottle and put an air lock in every one.


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## DU99 (11/7/10)

chocolate malt(milo)..might be the go in stout


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## big_dazza27 (11/7/10)

Maybe the mods could "airlock" this thread so the newbies can learn all this stuff in the one hit.

Would save the regulars having to explain it over and over again...


Btw manticle, what is this "malt" you speak of? And will it dry out my VB clone?


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## manticle (11/7/10)

I have found the absorbent towel advertised by that fat tall bloke off masterchef will dry anything out. You could try it for your beer. Otherwise just add a few mLs of tooheys extra to the bottom of each bottle when you prime.

Cheers.


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## DangerousDave (11/7/10)

i see what youve done here..........

:lol:


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## bcp (11/7/10)

Since switching to glad wrap on my fermenter, i now use my airlock as a breathalyser. I stick it in my mouth and if it's bubbling i've drunk way too much.


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## rendo (11/7/10)

hahahaha...GOLD...had me giggling like a little girl!!! 



big_dazza27 said:


> Sometimes if my airlock doesn't bubble i try raising temps until it starts.
> I find about 28 degrees to be the sweet spot for an ale or about 20 degrees for a lager.
> It's pretty important to make sure it bubbles especially if you're doing a VB clone.


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## bradsbrew (11/7/10)

manticle said:


> Brew was 3 tins of milo and a finishing hop tablet.
> 
> Also I think I may have invented a new way of brewing using malt instead of sugar.



Man milo will not work unless you put it in the coffee grinder, and it doesnt take that long either......youve just got to think outside the square and say fcuk that to experience and advice, before you you know it you'll be the gun brewer..........


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## gregs (11/7/10)

manticle said:


> I have found the absorbent towel advertised by that fat tall bloke off masterchef will dry anything out. You could try it for your beer. Otherwise just add a few mLs of tooheys extra to the bottom of each bottle when you prime.
> 
> Cheers.




I use a pair of disposable nappies during fermentation and find this gives a nice dryness to the finished beer. 

Also any persons wishing to clone VB the nappies are best used after their initial intended use, imparts that original satisfying flavour. The one problem I have yet to overcome is head retention, I have tried soap ECT but Im yet to crack that perfect head.

Thanks in advance to all who reply.


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## tavas (11/7/10)

gregs said:


> I use a pair of disposable nappies during fermentation and find this gives a nice dryness to the finished beer.
> 
> Also any persons wishing to clone VB the nappies are best used after their initial intended use, imparts that original satisfying flavour. The one problem I have yet to overcome is head retention, I have tried soap ECT but I'm yet to crack that perfect head.
> 
> Thanks in advance to all who reply.



You need to switch to detergent. It holds the bubbles better than soap.


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## bradsbrew (11/7/10)

gregs said:


> I use a pair of disposable nappies during fermentation and find this gives a nice dryness to the finished beer.



_I take my newly filled keg down to the laundromat and put it in the commercial dryer..........I have found that 20 minutes gives me a dry beer but if I leave it in for 37 minutes i get extra dry beer I cant believe how ingenious I am an that none of you clowns have thought to do this before.
_
_This is *my* sarcasm font
_
Ok I will stop now :angry:


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## gregs (11/7/10)

bradsbrew said:


> _I take my newly filled keg down to the laundromat and put it in the commercial dryer..........I have found that 20 minutes gives me a dry beer but if I leave it in for 37 minutes i get extra dry beer I cant believe how ingenious I am an that none of you clowns have thought to do this before.
> _
> _This is *my* sarcasm font
> _
> Ok I will stop now :angry:




Brad have you tried using your sarcasm font in a brew yet? 

I think this would dry out the beer exceptionally well and launch you into the brewers hall of fame.

Just remember that this is my idea and that I should receive all the credit.


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## tavas (11/7/10)

gregs said:


> Brad have you tried using your sarcasm font in a brew yet?
> 
> I think this would dry out the beer exceptionally well and launch you into the brewer's hall of fame.
> 
> Just remember that this is my idea and that I should receive all the credit.



You need to be careful there. If your sarcasm is dripping it might have the opposite effect.


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## bradsbrew (11/7/10)

gregs said:


> Brad have you tried using your sarcasm font in a brew yet?
> 
> I think this would dry out the beer exceptionally well and launch you into the brewer's hall of fame.
> 
> Just remember that this is my idea and that I should receive all the credit.




Brilliant, i will create my next recipe using the sarcasm font...............only problem i can see is when i drink copius amount of sarcastic beer people wont know and think im a smart ass. :lol:


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## gregs (11/7/10)

bradsbrew said:


> Brilliant, i will create my next recipe using the sarcasm font...............only problem i can see is when i drink copius amount of sarcastic beer people wont know and think im a smart ass. :lol:




Brilliant :lol:


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## Shed101 (11/7/10)

QldKev said:


> My air lock is not bubbling. What should I do...



Squeeze tight... 


and fart a little harder.


... but not _too _hard, unless you think you're ready to step up to BIAB.


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## QldKev (11/7/10)

bradsbrew said:


> Man milo will not work unless you put it in the coffee grinder, and it doesnt take that long either......youve just got to think outside the square and say fcuk that to experience and advice, before you you know it you'll be the gun brewer..........



LMFAO


QldKev


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## jyo (11/7/10)

Thanks, fellas! My house is full of sick, grumpy girls at the moment. So glad I can rely on a bunch of alcoholic strangers on the internet for a bloody good laugh  

Back on topic now. My airlock _is_ bubbling, what should I do?


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## chappo1970 (11/7/10)

bradsbrew said:


> Brilliant, i will create my next recipe using the sarcasm font...............only problem i can see is when i drink copius amount of sarcastic beer people wont know and think im a smart ass. :lol:




I knew there was a reason Brad... :lol:


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## Hatchy (11/7/10)

jyo said:


> Thanks, fellas! My house is full of sick, grumpy girls at the moment. So glad I can rely on a bunch of alcoholic strangers on the internet for a bloody good laugh
> 
> Back on topic now. My airlock _is_ bubbling, what should I do?



Bottle now. Once the airlock has stopped bubbling yr beer will have a dead kitten flavour which is undesirable unless yr aiming for a dead kitten ale.

Edit: My sarcasm font isn't working. Is that because my airlock stopped bubbling?


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## mccuaigm (11/7/10)

I'm thinking about making a breakfast ale, should i use vegemite, or peanut butter in it?


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## Shed101 (11/7/10)

goldy said:


> I'm thinking about making a breakfast ale, should i use vegemite, or peanut butter in it?



I think you've misunderstood the concept of a breakfast ale. They are so called because they're made with cereal - sometimes wheat, or even barley. 

Try cornflakes - you could be on to a winner.


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## tavas (11/7/10)

manticle said:


> Hi guys,
> 
> I put a brew down yesterday and the hydrometer says it's the same today. Should I bottle?
> 
> ...



Milk stout?

Or chocolate porter?


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## Pennywise (11/7/10)

I choked my cat but it's not dead yet, it keeps meowing. Should I choke it again?


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## bradsbrew (11/7/10)

Homebrewer79 said:


> I choked my cat but it's not dead yet, it keeps meowing. Should I choke it again?




Just leave it and once the meowing stops for three days its ready for bottling.


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## Pennywise (11/7/10)

Should I be priming on the high end of the scale for this cat beer, or is that just for kitten beer?


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## Eater (11/7/10)

Does the rapier like Wit arround here account for my sharp tasting beers?


(this thread is gold, good to see some people letting off a bit of steam)


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## thesunsettree (11/7/10)

Homebrewer79 said:


> I choked my cat but it's not dead yet, it keeps meowing. Should I choke it again?




hahahahaha, that quote resulted in beer spraying out of nearly every orifice of my fat carcass, i now have amarillo tears  :lol: 

cheers
matt


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## Frank (11/7/10)

bradsbrew said:


> Brilliant, i will create my next recipe using the sarcasm font...............only problem i can see is when i drink copius amount of sarcastic beer people wont know and think im a smart ass. :lol:


Brad, Sarcasm Font's are used for serving finished beer from the keg, not recipe creation. You still got a bit to learn about this beer thing. :lol:


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## bradsbrew (11/7/10)

Boston said:


> Brad, Sarcasm Font's are used for serving finished beer from the keg, not recipe creation. You still got a bit to learn about this beer thing.



:lol: :lol: :lol: . Guess I am a noobie giving bad advice  BTW those fonts sound great were can I get one and can I fit a picnic tap on it?


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## mccuaigm (11/7/10)

I wen to the cake shop & they gave me a very strange look when i ordered a yeast cake, how do you make such a cake? Can you buy them somewhere?


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## thesunsettree (11/7/10)

bradsbrew said:


> BTW those fonts sound great were can I get one and can I fit a picnic tap on it?




perhaps a bulk buy of these fonts??


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## Gavo (11/7/10)

Of course you can fit a picnic tap to a sarcasm font... all you need is a drill, (the same one you use to fit the airlock in the side of the fermentor) a hole punch (to punch the holes for the nail) and a nail to hold the tap in place. Make sure that the nail is long enough to go all the way through the font so you can bend it over at the back. Note if you have a flooded sarcasm font you will need to use chewing gum to fill any gaps thus stopping leaks.

Gavo


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## gregs (11/7/10)

goldy said:


> I wen to the cake shop & they gave me a very strange look when i ordered a yeast cake, how do you make such a cake? Can you buy them somewhere?



Yeast cakes are in the bottom of your fermented beer.

When harvesting your yeast force it through a fine sieve to extract the sarcasm font as this is the secret to a dry finish.

Oh and be sure the font is leaning to the right before reusing.

 Cheers and good luck with it.


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## bradsbrew (11/7/10)

goldy said:


> I wen to the cake shop & they gave me a very strange look when i ordered a yeast cake, how do you make such a cake? Can you buy them somewhere?



:lol: :lol: :lol: , Goldy ya dumb Fcuk ya need a special stainlees steel cake tray to make a yeast cake. Be careful not to use a plastic tray or you might end up with a yeast infection.


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## manticle (11/7/10)

Can you get botulism from stale yeast cake?


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## Pennywise (11/7/10)

I don't think so, but it may give you herpes


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## gregs (11/7/10)

manticle said:


> Can you get botulism from stale yeast cake?



Only if you re-pitch with the sarcasm font leaning to the left.


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## yardy (11/7/10)

my ******* big trendsetting blender is making a blending noise, should i fit an airlock to it's font ?


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## bradsbrew (11/7/10)

gregs said:


> Only if you re-pitch with the sarcasm font leaning to the left.




Looks like I'm in trouble then. My sarcasm font has a bend in it.


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## pb unleaded (11/7/10)

what the **** is this shit


(insert your own "what the **** is this shit" picture)


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## gregs (11/7/10)

yardy said:


> my ******* big trendsetting blender is making a blending noise, should i fit an airlock to it's font ?


Only when using third generation fonts, as they lean heavily and start to bend.


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## Pennywise (11/7/10)

I find that statement offensive to trendsetters


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## yardy (11/7/10)

Homebrewer79 said:


> I find that statement offensive to trendsetters




i resemble that remark


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## yardy (11/7/10)

gregs said:


> Only when using third generation fonts, as they lean heavily and start to bend.




i could rest it on my blender as it is very versatile, did i tell you i can crack up to 200 grams of grain (malt) at a time ?


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## Yob (11/7/10)

yardy said:


> my ******* big trendsetting blender is making a blending noise, should i fit an airlock to it's font ?



I think a good dose of "im so effing clever" lubricant should sort out all those noises for you


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## thesunsettree (11/7/10)

surely this has to be nominated as 'greatest thread ever'


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## thesunsettree (11/7/10)

iamozziyob said:


> I think a good dose of "im so effing clever" lubricant should sort out all those noises for you




yeah, followed by 'i was only joking' and 'i fucked up on purpose to see if anyone noticed'

matt


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## Pennywise (11/7/10)

Official


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## thesunsettree (11/7/10)

Homebrewer79 said:


> Official




brilliant!!


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## gregs (11/7/10)

thesunsettree said:


> yeah, followed by 'i was only joking' and 'i fucked up on purpose to see if anyone noticed'
> 
> matt




Yeah, and_ Milo_ doesnt have husk on it, thats why you can crack it in a coffee grinder. B)


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## thesunsettree (11/7/10)

gregs said:


> Yeah, and_ Milo_ doesn't have husk on it, that's why you can crack it in a coffee grinder. B)




surely you mean a milo grinder not specifically engineered for brewing purposes however more than capable of performing a perfectly good outcome well outside its parameters of normal functionality

matt


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## Pennywise (11/7/10)

Dunno why but I feel this song should be played for whoever reads this therad, the music just suits it


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## thesunsettree (11/7/10)

Homebrewer79 said:


> Dunno why but I feel this song should be played for whoever reads this therad, the music just suits it





or perhaps this



matt


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## Yob (11/7/10)

thesunsettree said:


> or perhaps this
> 
> 
> 
> matt




I counter with this as most appropriate h34r:


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## thesunsettree (11/7/10)

iamozziyob said:


> I counter with this as most appropriate h34r:





lol, and i'll raise you -


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## bum (11/7/10)

I want everyone to take a moment to consider the Law of Diminishing Returns. 

Okay. Continue.


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## Yob (11/7/10)

thesunsettree said:


> lol, and i'll raise you -



check and raise   

edit.. was laughing too much to post the link


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## Bribie G (11/7/10)

I'M NOT SHOUTING, MY CAPS LOCK IS STUCK ON. SHOULD I USE KEG LUBE ?


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## big_dazza27 (11/7/10)

bradsbrew said:


> :lol: :lol: :lol: , Goldy ya dumb Fcuk ya need a special stainlees steel cake tray to make a yeast cake. Be careful not to use a plastic tray or you might end up with a yeast infection.




Definately don't serve any yeast cakes from plastic trays to anorexic friends or relatives...you could have a quarter pounder with cheese on your hands...


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## jyo (11/7/10)

BribieG said:


> I'M NOT SHOUTING, MY CAPS LOCK IS STUCK ON. SHOULD I USE KEG LUBE ?



You should always use lube on your caps lock, Bribie.


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## thesunsettree (11/7/10)

iamozziyob said:


> check and raise
> 
> edit.. was laughing too much to post the link





hahaha, gold. havnt heard that song for years

matt


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## thesunsettree (11/7/10)

how could i forget



matt


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## Pennywise (11/7/10)




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## Yob (11/7/10)

thesunsettree said:


> how could i forget
> 
> 
> 
> matt



thats cheating, I thought that one was reserved for somepne 'special'  



Homebrewer79 said:


>



Nice B)


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## rendo (11/7/10)

you can buy milo WITH a husk....comes in a red packet.......ummm.....Maltesers!!!

You all can learn alot of BobdownDazzypants....he is GENIUS




gregs said:


> Yeah, and_ Milo_ doesn't have husk on it, that's why you can crack it in a coffee grinder. B)


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## Nevalicious (11/7/10)

rendo said:


> You all can learn alot of BobdownDazzypants....he is GENIUS



Hahaha. I was following that post... Gold Rendo!!!


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## Hatchy (12/7/10)

BribieG said:


> I'M NOT SHOUTING, MY CAPS LOCK IS STUCK ON. SHOULD I USE KEG LUBE ?



If yr not shouting then why are my ears ringing?


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