# Your Worst/Dumbest Brewday Stuff Up...



## Siborg (1/2/16)

The title says it all: What is the worst/dumbest stuff up you've ever made on a brew day? And what did you do to recover, if this was possible?

Mine would have been the time I was brewing on the braumeister for the first time in ages. I was making a milk stout. Milled the grain bill, heated up my strike water, started mashing in, then noticed the mesh screen filters sitting next to the brau. For anyone that doesn't know the system, there is a filter screen that sits on the bottom of the malt pipe (inner pot) and on top of the mash. If these aren't in place, the pump at the bottom would try to suck the mash through and become clogged pretty quickly. Swearing and cursing, I grabbed the nearest esky and scooped the entire mash out, 2 litres at a time into the esky. A quick clean out of the brau and pump, an adjustment for the 10-15 minutes this took to my mash schedule and it actually turned out fine. I didn't even lose that much heat during the process of transferring.


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## Rocker1986 (1/2/16)

Trying to do a full step mash in a Crown urn was a bit of a fail. I was doing a Bo Pils. Started it at 35C but there was so much crap released from the grains when doughing in that it caked the element and the thing refused to heat up properly. In the end I got the old stock pot I used to use for extract boils, drained some of the wort into it, took it up to the stove and boiled it, returning it back to the urn once done. I think I did this about 3 or 4 times to get the temp up into the mid 60s. It was then left as a single infusion for the remainder. At least managed to scrape enough shit off the element to allow it to boil. The beer turned out sub standard though, especially compared to the following batches where I ditched the full on step mash and just used a Hochkurz schedule. I'm sure there are ways to do it in an urn but I can't be arsed anymore, given I was very happy with the beers using the Hochkurz mash.

Other than that nothing terribly bad... lost a couple of litres out of a cube that was just filled once when the tap was accidentally kicked out of it. :mellow:


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## Coodgee (1/2/16)

Filling the fermenter with chilled wort after a long 6 hour brew day and realising 3 or 4 litres has trickled out onto the floor because i forgot to close the fermenter tap.


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## Tahoose (1/2/16)

Kegged a batch of beer with a few litres of starsan still in the keg. I could taste the sanitiser, batch had to be tipped.


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## Siborg (1/2/16)

Tahoose said:


> Kegged a batch of beer with a few litres of starsan still in the keg. I could taste the sanitiser, batch had to be tipped.


Whenever a homebrewer has to tip a batch, I always picture it's like that heineken ad where someone drops a slab of heineken and everyone the world over feels the pain


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## welly2 (1/2/16)

Coodgee said:


> Filling the fermenter with chilled wort after a long 6 hour brew day and realising 3 or 4 litres has trickled out onto the floor because i forgot to close the fermenter tap.


I did something like this. Usually recirculate wort through my Grainfather chiller back into the Grainfather for 15 minutes or so when I start chilling. Didn't notice I hadn't put the wort exit tube back into the Grainfather so pissed out about 3 or 4 litres onto the floor. Flies had a feast.


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## Tropico (1/2/16)

Coodgee said:


> Filling the fermenter with chilled wort after a long 6 hour brew day and realising 3 or 4 litres has trickled out onto the floor because i forgot to close the fermenter tap.


Been there twice. The worst part was having to clean up all the spilt wort as well


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## Danscraftbeer (1/2/16)

The brew night got too late and I was too tired (after what must have been the longest all grain 40lt brew I've ever had) so I turned the boil off and left it overnight. Started it up the next morning never considering a sediment cake needed to be mixed up off the bottom. Finished the brew and decanted to find a big burnt cake on the bottom. Yes it had an off flavour. Borderline tipping it but it just got left and neglected in the keg and the off flavour dissipated after 3 - 4 weeks to drinkable. So I haven't done too badly.


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## Ducatiboy stu (1/2/16)

Your not a brewer until you have left the tap open


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## Mardoo (1/2/16)

Not disassembling and washing out the manifold between the first and second iterations of the mash on a big 360L RIS brewday. Ended up with a solidly stuck mash in a 250L mash tun. Had to scoop it out and lauter it in batches in the 150L mash tun to finish the runoff. Together with other minor delays and assorted fuckups it ended up being a 21-hour brewday, 27 hours including prep and setup the night before.


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## DJ_L3ThAL (1/2/16)

^^that hurt reading that.

Classic one would be not clipping or tying the BIAB-bag to the pot and stirring too vigorously, only to drop the bag into the liquor along with all the grain on the outside of the bag. Manual lautering into multiple buckets, cleaning of pot, replacement of bag, grain and liquor setting you back X hours on a brew day.

More recently on one of my earlier 3V brews, not rinsing out or cleaning pump head properly (only recirced hot water through), week or so later on next brew day started draining to the kettle and a big black/blue lugie of mould came out of the pump into the otherwise beautifully clean wort spinning in the kettle, we managed to scoop everything we could see out of the wort and continued with the boil. Still happily drinking that beer on tap as we speak it turned out fine thank the beer gods. Needless to say every brw my pumps get a PBW record and hot water rinse before being disassembled and dried.


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## mofox1 (1/2/16)

Damn pump boogers.

Mine get dried (the pumps, that is), but I make sure my HLT coil gets a good flush if it hasn't been used for a while.

*Edit:* Do brewing injuries count in this thread? I've got a nice bright patch of new pink skin on the back of my hand courtesy of an overflowing flask... dumbass-moi.


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## Droopy Brew (1/2/16)

Open tap- happened a couple of times during K&K days. thankfully I learnt that lesson before AG.

Last brew I ran an Amber Ale through the plate chiller and walked away for 20 min. Come back and undo it all and tip the remenants out of the chiller into a flask for a starter and its still hot. check the fermenter- about 40-50C. ****! Timer on the garden hose ran out so there was no water pumping through the chiller for probably half of the drain. Think the wort was cool enough but to stop isomerisation.

Father in law decided to help one day. Was draining a sparge through a pvc hose (silly me). The heat was softening it and it was kinking so the FIL being the ideas man he is, goes and grabs a rake from around the shed. He tries to prop the hose up and in the process drains about 100ml of months old mosquito larvae infested water from the hollow rake handle into the wort. Luckily it was pre boil so no harm done.

Nothing tragic but all learning experiences.


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## lobedogg (1/2/16)

Few spills etc as above and I still consistently leave my hop calculations/additions too late, and often do them on the fly or consequently stuff them up. Have actually ended up with some good beers that way though.

Recently though, I managed to accidentally clean a keg with washing detergent instead of Napisan. I realised and rinsed, cleaned, re-rinsed etc. Filled her up and had a keg full of soapy DSGA which had to be disposed of despite trying to convince myself it really wasn't that disgusting.

Changed the seals and re-cleaned and was fine for next time but that was a painful one.


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## Blind Dog (1/2/16)

Siborg said:


> Mine would have been the time I was brewing on the braumeister for the first time in ages. I was making a milk stout. Milled the grain bill, heated up my strike water, started mashing in, then noticed the mesh screen filters sitting next to the brau.


Been there, done that. Unfortunately more than once. Even left the whole malt pipe out before now and only realised after pouring in the grain. That's when I'm glad I kept the big w BIAB pots.

Funny one the other day was when I assembled the ball lock valve (upgraded from the brau standard tap) the wrong way round so that it opened clockwise, ie towards the brau. Barely got a trickle out of it and took over an hour to drain into the cube. I just reboiled for 15 min after fixing the tap.


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## The Judge (3/3/16)

Oh man.... biggest stuff up ever.

Didn't push down my quick connect far enough on the gas in line to a keg, but apparently far enough to pinch the valve open. A whole new 6kg bottle of CO2 vented straight out... and because all other kegs are manifolded (check valve at the regulator) all my kegs vented through this open line.

Result: empty CO2 bottle, 3 flat kegs, and a sunken loungeroom probably full of CO2 (hope the cat wasn't down there....)


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## mxd (3/3/16)

I have a few 

left 3kg, out of 9kg, of grain out

poured cube into fermenter with starsan in it

put fermenter in with temp of 2 degrees

put fermenter into fridge without yeast

mixed the order of hops (the only one I did when pissed)

batch sparge with all valves open (so the HLT went to kettle and MLT, MLT went to kettle)

put sodium perc in kettle when it was meant to be dex

I'm sure there's more


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## Coodgee (3/3/16)

mxd said:


> I have a few
> 
> left 3kg, out of 9kg, of grain out
> 
> ...


wow some of those are disaster scenarios. especially the last one!


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## Zorco (3/3/16)

Set hair on fire.

Pallet rack brewery, top row has HLT on a BG14 style burner. Mash tun below it mashing, heating sparge in HLT. Moved in to make a visual inspection of mash from above, flames jumped onto elvis man-doo incinerating follicles, good looks and pride. Fumigated the second story with floorboard penetrating hair smoke.

No love made with wife that night. Currently sporting angry anderson makeover.


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## Mardoo (3/3/16)

You win, brother!


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## crowmanz (3/3/16)

mxd said:


> put sodium perc in kettle when it was meant to be dex


Looking for a "clean" beer?


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## mxd (3/3/16)

I thought I could patent how we can clean kegs and bottles whilst drinking 

Both sacks look alike


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## Zorco (3/3/16)

Mardoo said:


> You win, brother!


To all who post in this thread...I've shared those errors...We are all winners.


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## The Judge (3/3/16)

I reckon MXD probably drinks just a little bit too much on brewdays


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## pist (3/3/16)

Left tap on fermenter open dumpimg a couple of litres on the floor 

Forgetting to add brewbrite at 10min addition

Various dumb moments spilling wort all over the floor

Stuffing up hop additions in brewing software (forget to account for no chill bitterness)

Overfill fermenter somehow leading to a massive Krausen explosion and beer everywhere in the fermenting fridge 

Various burns from being careless whilst squeezing bag


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## Red Baron (3/3/16)

I had picked up the saucepan lid I use to distribute the wort while I vorlaff with vice grips. Because it was wet, it slipped and fell. Subconsciously, I stuck my foot out to stop it from dinting on the shed floor (plus the lifetime of grief associated with damaging "kitchen" equipment....). My subconscious forgot that I live in northern queensland, and brew mostly barefoot...... I watched in slow motion as the lid dropped on its side and bounced squarely off my big toe. Instant red/black toe nail, and within 2 minutes it was lifting off the nail bed. I had to drill a hole in the nail to let the blood and pressure out. Lucky I was already in the shed!

Cheers,
RB


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## Rocker1986 (3/3/16)

Not a brew day stuff up as such, but when I stuck the current brew in the FV in the fridge, I raised the controller from 0 back up to 18, taped the probe to the side as normal, and left it. Came back a little while later and it had risen up to nearly 20C. Unplugged the fridge from the controller and plugged it straight into the wall, working perfectly fine. What? Stupid dummy forgot to change the temp differential back to 0.3C from 2C from when I had the probe just dangling in the fridge. :lol:

Obviously was never gonna cause any problems but I felt silly afterwards.


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## Nullnvoid (3/3/16)

pist said:


> Overfill fermenter somehow leading to a massive Krausen explosion and beer everywhere in the fermenting fridge


Yep, got that at the moment. Just finished cleaning up the fermenting freezer. 

I don't think it's a 30 litre fermenter as there was bugger all room left after 25litres went in. And the yeast has just gone nuts. 

Anyway, here's to beer


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## Dae Tripper (3/3/16)

Just left the tap open again


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## danestead (4/3/16)

Not a huge amount for me.

Almost forgot to add hops.
Forgot brewbrite once.
Froze a fermenter of beer.
Forgot to set the temp controller back to 18 degrees and ended up with 1 degree wort the day after pitching yeast.


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## Zorco (4/3/16)

Tore fingernail off.

Unboxed brand spankers Mashmaster minimill paid for with employee award. Adored the shiny hue and alluring lustre. She was begging to turn.

Mounted Bosch drill in the vice and mated the mill's shaft into chuck caressing it perfectly in-line. Foreplay, low rpm. Atmosphere electric. Started whispering to it. Both hands on the frame imagining the different crushing positions. Called her Dixie, I felt a shudder. Did something move?

Knurling so sharp, biting frame side underneath. Confusion now, I know how to treat a lady. 

Electricity now completely off and silence. In the mire of climax lost I felt my left hand's little finger nail now perpendicular to the plane, air soaking the exposed nerves. Breathing intensifies, chest contracts, son comes to show me his toy fire engine. 

Emerging from the fuzziness I regained my memory....Goldie, she said her name was Goldie.


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## Yob (4/3/16)

Coodgee said:


> wow some of those are disaster scenarios. especially the last one!


Na, that ones no biggie..

PBW in the mash however was, turns out PBW and 5.2 stabiliser look identical from the top...

Only once.


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## JDW81 (4/3/16)

zorsoc_cosdog said:


> Set hair on fire.
> 
> Pallet rack brewery, top row has HLT on a BG14 style burner. Mash tun below it mashing, heating sparge in HLT. Moved in to make a visual inspection of mash from above, flames jumped onto elvis man-doo incinerating follicles, good looks and pride. Fumigated the second story with floorboard penetrating hair smoke.
> 
> No love made with wife that night. Currently sporting angry anderson makeover.


Oh to have hair to set on fire...


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## Siborg (4/3/16)

Wasn't so much a "brew day" but more of a pre-brew day test. Set up my KK mag drive pump and attached all the fittings.
First, forgot to tighten them. Water everywhere
Second, forgot to add some thread tape around the connectors on the pump
Third, when tightening the fittings onto the pump, lost concentration for one second then realised I'd cross threaded the plastic thread on the pump head... BADLY. Ended up hacking off the half cm of destroyed thread to get it on.... yeah, I'm gonna get the stainless pump head now.


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## Dave70 (4/3/16)

zorsoc_cosdog said:


> Set hair on fire.


Its what all the cool kids are doing nowadays.


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## MastersBrewery (4/3/16)

You guys just had to didn't ya!!!


Talk about bad omens, read through this last night.

got up at 6am this morning, get the brew on I say. I had a little cleaning to do before mash in. The rig had sat idle for a month, so with that done I mashed in using the small malt pipe (first mistake) grain bill 11.3 kg push the envelope just a tad. Started the recirc all going well until the third pump break, the bottom seal on the malt pipe lets go and my recirc is no longer going through the grain at all. Quick assessment and I decide to lift the malt pipe and replace the BM seal (don't try this without a crane, I have one, so all good). 67c don't sound all that hot does it lads? yeah it's bloody hot!!any way got it all back together probably droped to below 60 for 10 mins.

What the hell I made beer. and boil is done once I post this.

Need a beer now :unsure:


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## sponge (4/3/16)

First batch on the new 130L system, didn't have anything to keep the grain bag off the elements and thought I had the bag suspended high enough.

A few minutes into the mash and there was a hint of burn filling the shed. Hoisted the bag to find a nice big hole in the base and all the grain now in the pot.

Thankfully that's probably been the worst stuff up thus far. Plenty of time left to change that though.


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## mxd (4/3/16)

The Judge said:


> I reckon MXD probably drinks just a little bit too much on brewdays


How do you think I know how long to boil for and mash for, 1 pint 20 minutes.

Works well except except the 2 hr mash and 2 hr boils


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## wide eyed and legless (4/3/16)

I love the beer measurements.


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## Old Bloke (4/3/16)

My first AG stovetop was a few months ago now, my first brew went along the lines of mash, boil and then the problem started.
After reading all the posts on cooling the wort, decided to put the Big W pot into the bath, and trickle cold water into said bath to chill the wort down. Left the bathroom went to the computer and unfortunately, got a little distracted on reading one of the posts on AHB and forgot the bath was still running. Some time later I heard this funny noise and went "oh no" (won't publish the words actually used). Raced back to the bathroom and the bath was overflowing, I had a good inch of water all over the bathroom floor, bedroom floor and part of the hall. Damn, and the misses was due home, right about now! Grabs the mop and starts tying to enter damage control mode. Guess who arrives home and discovers husband with a mop in his hand and looking just a trifle sheepish. Ahh well, just as well she loves me. No permanent damage, thats the main thing. Have definitely learnt the lesson of not leaving the tap running if I am not in the room LOL


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## Ciderman (4/3/16)

Just poured about 5L of perfectly good wort on the ground because the fermenter tap was open... Idiot!


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## spog (4/3/16)

Bottling a brew while drinking,,,,,ahh shit I just capped the beer I was drinking.
No worries just look for the not so full coldest beer,uncap it and drink in victory the open another and the same again....Bugga !


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## Tahoose (5/3/16)

Haha spog, unlucky mate.

Most of hear I can say I done one variation or another, keeps you honest.


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## Siborg (8/3/16)

Old Bloke said:


> My first AG stovetop was a few months ago now, my first brew went along the lines of mash, boil and then the problem started.
> After reading all the posts on cooling the wort, decided to put the Big W pot into the bath, and trickle cold water into said bath to chill the wort down. Left the bathroom went to the computer and unfortunately, got a little distracted on reading one of the posts on AHB and forgot the bath was still running. Some time later I heard this funny noise and went "oh no" (won't publish the words actually used). Raced back to the bathroom and the bath was overflowing, I had a good inch of water all over the bathroom floor, bedroom floor and part of the hall. Damn, and the misses was due home, right about now! Grabs the mop and starts tying to enter damage control mode. Guess who arrives home and discovers husband with a mop in his hand and looking just a trifle sheepish. Ahh well, just as well she loves me. No permanent damage, thats the main thing. Have definitely learnt the lesson of not leaving the tap running if I am not in the room LOL


But was the beer OK???


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## shacked (8/3/16)

I put 23L of wort (from a 20L cube no less) into a 23L glass fermenter, pitched belle saison @ 26C and sealed it up. Realised 12 hours later (4am) that this probably wasn't the best approach and stumbled around in the dark setting up a makeshift blow off tube. 

Next challenge will be removing the bung which I pushed in too far...


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## idzy (8/3/16)

Don't know if it is the worst, but was recent and very annoying. Was having trouble with my mill getting a good crush. Decided to add some water to help. Ended up creating dough and huge problems. Never again.


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## droid (8/3/16)

this is like a feel good thread for me, i really can't think of much if anything...

<edit - sorry the worst brewday stuff up would be probably the first one - i mean that's jumping in a bit early eh

oh yeah

*first AG brew no recipe no app - stood there looking at 4kg's of grain being mashed and wondering what alcohol i was going to get, what volume wort to get - how this was all going to happen...*
burnt feet wearing thongs, quite a common one that one here
bittering addition chucked in and subsequently boiled over the top and onto the floor leaving me wondering what IBU's i actually had in there
that'd be all i reckon
oh wait

tap open on cube when filling from plate chiller
chucked roast barley in at the beginning instead of the end supposed to be just for colour
got a pit pissed and couldn't finish the boil
got a bit pissed and forgot to hook up plate chiller just put massive 0minute hop addition in - by the time i hooked it all up it had 20-30minutes more at the higher temps
didn't have enough water to sparge
didn't do a run through and had blocked plate chiller full of little spiders so gave up on chilling a brew that was calculated to be chilled - brought tears to my eyes...drinking it that is
spilled hot wort on the wooden kitchen floor - at least the floorboards stop squeaking for a while
just everyday brewday things really :blink:


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## Droopy Brew (8/3/16)

Pre crush mash. Very inventive Idzy.


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## tj2204 (7/4/16)

Not a brew day stuff up but....

I went to pour a cream ale tonight from a pretty much full keg, pours foam. so I'm thinking wtf is going on did I plug the beer disconnect in to an empty keg by mistake? Open the keezer, smell beer, look down and there's a swimming pool of at least 16 litres of cream ale in the bottom of the keezer. Pretty devastated. 

Oh, then I brought the wet dry vac up from the garage to clean it up and the fucker blew beer all over the dining room.


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## Rocker1986 (7/4/16)

Just had a cube on Sunday night get infected with what I'm guessing was acetobacter from the smell of it. It was due to be pitched on Monday. Had been sitting there for weeks so I'm guessing this shit got into it pretty recently, and wasn't there at the time of cubing it. It blew the tap out of the cube and obviously the wort ended up all over the laundry floor. Bit of a pain in the arse and has thrown out the brewing schedule a little bit, but I'll carry on...

I rinsed and cleaned the cube and would have done more to it, but I can't get the bung even to fit into it properly now, at least not securely enough for use with hot wort so I'll retire it from brewing after one batch :lol: and use it elsewhere, maybe in the garden or something. I have four others, so it's not like I'm short of replacements.


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## Danscraftbeer (7/4/16)

Bugger. If you guys were closer I'd grab some of that waste brews for my new batch of vinegar.
Don't underestimate vinegar in a culinary sense. I'm working on a home brew acidulator.


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## Rocker1986 (7/4/16)

You'd have been lucky to get any after it spilled all over the concrete floor :lol:

Most of it had dried up by the time I found it too.


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## klangers (8/4/16)

The brew that broke me, aka my second all grain brew (imperial lager):

- DIY mill (pasta maker) broke halfway through milling 10kg of grain. Remainder 5kg was painstakingly crushed by hand with a rolling pin. Never again.

- Needed to lift kettle up onto bench to begin boiling. Forgot that tap was open. Lifted it up, hose pulled off and ~90 deg C sticky wort poured onto my arm. Worst burn I've ever had. Skin peeled off instantly and have a nice ovoid scar on my left arm.

- In order to administer first aid, I elected to leave the boil for the day after. Bad idea. Came back to a lukewarm pool of horrid smelling filth. Tipped it all down the sink, so I had a 3rd degree burn and a pile of broken metal and ruined dreams.

Beer that nearly broke me, but plot twist!
- Was brewing a beer for my brother's wedding (no pressure lol). Belgian dubbel which blew krausen all over my fridge. Was away for work during the week. Came back to a fridge that had been colonised by horrible little krausen/wort eating worms. Since they hadn't got into my nicely gladwrapped fermenter I elected to leave it. But everything else stank like shit, so I moved into cold crashing to kill the worms and the smell, which seemed to work...

- I froze the beer during cold conditioning, and needed to rely on yeast being alive for bottle conditioning/carbonation. Curiously, it ended up stratifying - so I had an accidental eis-Belgian-dubbel on the bottom, and pretty much water on the top. I set aside the suspect final bottles which were basically water, and kept the first lot. They too aaaaaaages to carbonate and never really got there, but it suited it well and was a beer that compared to the best dubbels. Everyone liked it at the wedding and since it was even stronger than the originally planned 9% due to the accidental eisbocking, it was a very successful day.


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## wide eyed and legless (8/4/16)

I would suspect most brew day stuff ups is a result of drinking while brewing, I along with others have left a tap on, but that was sober and I never drink while brewing. Bottling is a different kettle of fish, the smell and sight of fresh clean beer I can't resist, unlike spog it is the beer I am bottling I am drinking.


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## A.B. (8/4/16)

yeah I've done the "fermenter tap left open trick". great way to invent new swear words.

I've also done the "pitch the yeast on the floor trick" due to clumsiness.


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## shacked (8/4/16)

wide eyed and legless said:


> I would suspect most brew day stuff ups is a result of drinking while brewing, I along with others have left a tap on, but that was sober and I never drink while brewing. Bottling is a different kettle of fish, the smell and sight of fresh clean beer I can't resist, unlike spog it is the beer I am bottling I am drinking.


Yep, I'd agree with drinking on the job being the main contributor. I've found that the second brew on a double brew day is always a bit wobbly for that reason.


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## Zorco (10/4/16)

Rocker1986 said:


> You'd have been lucky to get any after it spilled all over the concrete floor :lol:
> 
> Most of it had dried up by the time I found it too.


 my petrol pressure cleaner is my best investment! Brewery and kids.... Their mess that is


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## Zorco (10/4/16)

klangers said:


> The brew that broke me, aka my second all grain brew (imperial lager):
> 
> - DIY mill (pasta maker) broke halfway through milling 10kg of grain. Remainder 5kg was painstakingly crushed by hand with a rolling pin. Never again.
> 
> ...


 Get this man onto your next million dollar contract.

Stares death in the face, overcomes adversity, Thor like endeavour, biological infection assessment skills and all the time a commitment to success.

A scar from a bro's brew. 

.
NonononononYES brewery
Brothers' scars brewery
Melted, infected - not dejected Brewers
Scorched success brewery


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## Jez (6/5/16)

Nearing end of boil, suddenly remember I forgot to chuck in the copper chiller to sanitise it. Quickly get it in and go get another beer. Come back 5 mins later to find one of the lengths of garden hose & brass fitting on end of chiller is boiling away in the pot. Quickly pull it out but hose quite soft as you'd expect. I've pressed on and fermented and just kegged the brew - surely 5 mins in the boil won't matter  Just tasted it and I'm hoping the plasticy taste I'm getting is my imagination or just the hops needing more time to balance.....


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## Dave70 (6/5/16)

wide eyed and legless said:


> *I would suspect most brew day stuff ups is a result of drinking while brewing,* I along with others have left a tap on, but that was sober and *I never drink while brewing.* Bottling is a different kettle of fish, the smell and sight of fresh clean beer I can't resist, unlike spog it is the beer I am bottling I am drinking.


In my heart, I know you are 100% correct.

But a dry brew day for me is about as likely as sober karaoke.


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## Danscraftbeer (6/5/16)

Broke my own record. Installed a thermowell into my Kegmenter. Long story short I didn't pressure test it.

All done properly it seemed the original rubber seal wasn't good enough for pressurization. Filled with 40lt new beer wort pitched with yeast (already a twelve hour brew day, just one of those days). Pumped some Oxygen into it to see the doom that the seal failed and beer squirting out. So late and tired I depressurized it (it seemed ok depressurized). Left the pressure release open. I placed it in the ferment fridge in a 50lt black tub just in case. Next morning the kegmenter is sitting in about 10lt of fermenting beer.
Set up a plastic fermenter to transfer and rescue the rest I tried lifting the kegmenter out (too heavy) tipped that black tub with 10lt of beer onto a carpet floor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :angry2:

Then the rest of the toiling that followed. Finding a good seal, pressure testing, cleaning that carpet etc. Safe to say that's the hardest brew experience I've ever had.


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## Grott (6/5/16)

You deserve a beer, no several beers.


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## Coodgee (6/5/16)

Dave70 said:


> In my heart, I know you are 100% correct.
> 
> But a dry brew day for me is about as likely as sober karaoke.


I always wait until it's chilling before i crack the first beer.


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## timmi9191 (6/5/16)

Coodgee said:


> I always wait until it's chilling before i crack the first beer.


clearly a brew day stuff up.. :super: :super: :super:


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## Dave70 (6/5/16)

Coodgee said:


> I always wait until it's chilling before i crack the first beer.


I'm a highly functional inebriate.


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## Danscraftbeer (6/5/16)

Carpet Circles. Anyone relate to this Phenomenon? 





This the same crap carpet I spilled the beer on. That's the signature of a hot boiled sanitized kegmenter.


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## Zorco (6/5/16)

Danscraftbeer said:


> Carpet Circles. Anyone relate to this Phenomenon?
> This the same crap carpet I spilled the beer on. That's the signature of a hot boiled sanitized kegmenter.


Made by an old brewer with a plank of wood and a soldering iron!

Brewing scars are weirdly cool.


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## spog (6/5/16)

Danscraftbeer said:


> Carpet Circles. Anyone relate to this Phenomenon?
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Bung a smiley face in the middle and know one will be the wiser.


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## Mardoo (7/5/16)

Or just paint a giant W on either side and it'll say WOW, maybe a surprised emoticon too. No one will notice the burn.


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## Moad (7/5/16)

I brew on a gas fired herms with the coil in the HLT, it ramps real slow so I turn the MT burner on to assist getting to mash out temp. If I am drinking on brew day I can almost guarantee I forget to turn it off... I've had boiling grain on a few occasions.

Forgetting to turn off various taps on fermenters is probably the worst because you are thinking you are on the home straight about to get stuck into a few brew... NOPE

The biggest mistake was starting a brew then being reminded by mrs Moad we had dinner plans. She wasn't happy going to dinner alone


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## Kingy (7/5/16)

Moad said:


> The biggest mistake was starting a brew then being reminded by mrs Moad we had dinner plans. She wasn't happy going to dinner alone



I've done this a few times haha

I havnt had a bad brew day for a while. 

I crack my first beer after I clean the mash tun out and the wort is boiling. It wasn't like that when I started brewing tho. I was usually to pissed to clean everything up until the next day. That doesn't happen anymore.


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## Weizguy (7/5/16)

Siborg said:


> Whenever a homebrewer has to tip a batch, I always picture it's like that heineken ad where someone drops a slab of heineken and everyone the world over feels the pain


I was listening to a BN/Jamil podcast a while back,and the advice was given about the willingingness to tip a bad batch is apparently a vital part of being a brewer.

It certainly would not serve you well if you dip your toe into commercial brewing, and you're too precious with your beer to tip a bad batch.
Sending a batch of bad beer for packaging/sales would sour your brewery's reputation, especially in the early days, so it would be cheaper in the long run to run it to the drain and re-brew.


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## AJS2154 (7/5/16)

I thought it would be a great idea to brew without a false bottom this morning.......not sure why, just did.

Yep, burned a hole in the bottom of my faithful old brew bag. FMD......not to mention I destroyed the grain I bought for the footie club brew day.

Oh well, life goes on. Worse things have happened at sea.

Anthony


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## wynnum1 (7/5/16)

Les the Weizguy said:


> I was listening to a BN/Jamil podcast a while back,and the advice was given about the willingingness to tip a bad batch is apparently a vital part of being a brewer.
> 
> It certainly would not serve you well if you dip your toe into commercial brewing, and you're too precious with your beer to tip a bad batch.
> Sending a batch of bad beer for packaging/sales would sour your brewery's reputation, especially in the early days, so it would be cheaper in the long run to run it to the drain and re-brew.


Or put in bottles with different brand name and label simular to your opposition and sell cheap.


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## Thefatdoghead (8/5/16)

Transfered wort from braumeister to ss kettle and fogot to turn off element. Element still has black wort stuck to it after 3 cleans sodium perk.


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## spog (8/5/16)

Did it again for the second time.



Used a 1 metre long s/s ruler to clear a blockage in the mill hopper while in use.
Ahh well it's now perfectly handy for measuring the length of snake next summer as it slithers across the yard.


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## Rocker1986 (8/5/16)

Gav80 said:


> Transfered wort from braumeister to ss kettle and fogot to turn off element. Element still has black wort stuck to it after 3 cleans sodium perk.


Try mixing some citric acid and water in it and boil it for a few minutes.


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## mattjm (8/5/16)

Had my biggest F up today. Doughed in and went to pickup some dextrose I wanted to add to the boil. Got home with 10 minutes to spare on my mash step only to realise i had flicked my grainfather control switch to boil and my mash had been creeping up slowly and was sitting at 88c instead of the low mash of 62 I was hoping for, after some thoughts of salvaging it, using it as a starter medium and trying to keep going with an experimental ferment, I finally scrapped the lot and started from scratch.


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## Fents (9/5/16)

Started with 10 litres too much water on sat night. 5 hour brew night turned into a 7 hour brew night, didnt hit bed till 1am :huh:.


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## dannymars (9/5/16)

So many....

Carrying fermenter to other room, knocked the tap on a door frame and the thread popped and beer started squirting out everywhere... had to tip the whole thing on it's side, wrap some plumbing tape on the thread and re-insert. Then clean the kitchen floor.

I have a shitty plastic valve on the end of my hose, so I don't have to keep running out and turning the tap on and off. Unfortunately if you leave the main tap on the pressure sometimes gets a bit much for the crappy plastic fitting and the hose just pops right off. I've flooded my entire brew garage on several occasions via this exact method. Last time it happened hours after the brew day was actually over. Then I could hear running water outside... Went out to find 5-10cms of water over the whole garage floor, some grain bags were on the floor too :-/


I've had the outlet hose of my chiller get a kink in it and pop off spraying 80+degree water all over my bare legs and feet. OUCH


The old 'forgot to clean the pump trick', now this can be ******* gross... I'm pretty sure I've grown mushrooms inside there before.

Borrowed the STC1000 from a ferment fridge on brewday to use on my HLT figuring the temp should remain stable for a few hours as the whether was about the same temp.... After the brew day was done I put the STC back, but forgot to re-programme the temperature. A few days later I was out checking on my brews and one fridge was displaying 38c on the STC.... !!!!!! what! I couldn't believe it, then the penny dropped.... ah, it was still set to my HTL sparge temp of 76c 

Brew wasn't toally ruined (it was a sour beer that was mostly finished),,, but still. 

When using brewing salts I like to mix them up with some warm water in a mason jar and give them a good shake to disolve before adding them to my mash etc... Did this last weekend and then proceeded to throw the jar on the floor spilling chalky mess everywhere... (That was the last of my CaCO3 too, had to run to a mate's place and get more before I could start)

Using zinc plated bolts to weight down a dry hop bag thinking they were stainless steal, thus stripping the whole coating and disolving it into the beer... mmmmm zinc.


So many more little ones, leaving taps open etc etc... But those ones are by far the worst.


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## Siborg (9/5/16)

Les the Weizguy said:


> I was listening to a BN/Jamil podcast a while back,and the advice was given about the willingingness to tip a bad batch is apparently a vital part of being a brewer.
> 
> It certainly would not serve you well if you dip your toe into commercial brewing, and you're too precious with your beer to tip a bad batch.
> Sending a batch of bad beer for packaging/sales would sour your brewery's reputation, especially in the early days, so it would be cheaper in the long run to run it to the drain and re-brew.


Absolutely. I've tipped a few batches in my time brewing. And it's always painful. 

It's like the 5 stages of grief:
1. Denial - It doesn't taste that bad. I mean, its drinkable....right? :mellow:
2. Anger - F&($NG Thing!!! WHY DID I HAVE TO FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS ON THE CAN AND FERMENT AT 27 DEGREES!!!! :angry2:
3. Bargaining - Please, God.... make that off flavour mellow out with conditioning :unsure:
4. Depression - I'm the worst brewer ever. I'm never brewing again. 
5. Acceptance - All right. I'll tip it and try again.


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## wide eyed and legless (9/5/16)

spog said:


> Did it again for the second time.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Reminds me of our tech school turning teacher, we were supposed to clear the swarf with a rule, Mr Woods did show us how not to do it with ones finger, kept the end of his finger in a matchbox for ages. :lol:


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## Thefatdoghead (9/5/16)

Rocker1986 said:


> Try mixing some citric acid and water in it and boil it for a few minutes.


How strong you think?


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## spog (9/5/16)

wide eyed and legless said:


> Reminds me of our tech school turning teacher, we were supposed to clear the swarf with a rule, Mr Woods did show us how not to do it with ones finger, kept the end of his finger in a matchbox for ages. :lol:


Ha, when I grabbed the ruler to clear the blockage I thought I should use the previously mangled ruler but decided nah it'll be alright I'll use the nice straight one.
Wrong ! The mill grabbed it and stuffed it. I thought you Cnut !
I killed the power to the mill and turned the pulley backwards by hand to get the ruler out which then pushed the hopper up and let grain flow out all over the shop.
Then I realised I was the dumb Cnut .
Must buy a new ruler so I'm prepared for next time.


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## Rocker1986 (9/5/16)

Gav80 said:


> How strong you think?


I usually just use probably a couple of tablespoons worth in 4 or 5 litres of water. Never really measured it, I just tip it in from the bag until it looks "about enough" then dissolve and boil it. Even if it doesn't completely remove it, it should loosen it up enough that it can be scrubbed off once it cools down.


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## droid (10/5/16)

wow, so many reminders of other stuff-ups i'd forgotten about, here's one that must be up there on the dickheadometer:

keggle taken off the gas, and put on a stand to whirlpool...so that's a hot steel keg onto plastic? uh huh. truly a wonder how some people get through life, luckily i smelled the melting plastic


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## technobabble66 (10/5/16)

... And brewing in thongs at the time, droid?

Nice melt on the crate!


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## droid (10/5/16)

thanks good job ay?

the thongs have been a more recent happening, tho i brewed in wellies the other day so who can know


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## Benn (4/6/16)

This afternoon I planned a simple evening of kegging one batch and getting another batch out of the cube and into the fermenter. Ordinarily this wouldn't be a problem, however I still haven't organised my garage since recently moving so everything brew related happens in the kitchen for now. 
Things took a turn for the worse when I began force carbing via the "liquid out" post (pin locks). I couldn't find any clamps so I just pushed the beer line on to the barbs, cranked the reg up to 30psi and began shaking the keg on the kitchen floor. About 5 seconds in to it the hose blew off the reg and being that it was still connected to the liquid out post at 30psi, started whipping around spraying beer all over the kitchen. I quickly disconnected it and took a minute to survey the damage, there was beer all over the place. Ok, could have been worse.
Then, for some unknown reason I reconnected it! Off it went again spraying beer all over the clean dishes, the bench tops, me, all over the flyscreen on the kitchen window. 
I quickly disconnected it again. Now there was beer ******* everywhere. I knew I was in for a long night so I took off my wet socks and got back to work. While all this was going on, the cube of DSGA I was aerating in the corner had been bubbling so vigorously that it was slowly spewing foamy beer out of the opening, running down the sides and forming a decent puddle at the base of the pantry. 
I was getting pretty over it by this stage, all it would have taken was for Mum to ring up about something and I would have lost it. Meanwhile the wife and kids happily watched their movie. I pulled the other Co2 bottle out of the beer fridge and finished force carbing, cleaned out the fermenter and poured in the DSGA & yeast. I couldn't find the mop so I grabbed some chux wipes and began hand mopping. Just as I start cleaning up the kids come walking through it to get a drink, then the cat starts licking the beer puddle in the corner then it's attacking the chux wipes while I'm trying to mop up with them. 
Faaaark, what a bastard. I finished cleaning about an hour ago, all the more reason to get the garage organised so shit like this doesn't keep happening.


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## Danscraftbeer (4/6/16)

That is farken hilarious. :lol:


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## Grott (4/6/16)

You deserve a medal


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## technobabble66 (4/6/16)

Great story, Benn! 
Agree w grott, you deserve a medal!
Surely there's something there that warrants a posting in the Manliness thread. 

"I like to catch spinning gas-powered kegs. I like to shower in beer"


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## Benn (4/6/16)

On the upside, my DSGA has a nice krausen going. Or an infection, one or the other


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## mofox1 (4/6/16)

Benn said:


> On the upside, my DSGA has a nice krausen going. Or an infection, one or the other


Either way, it'll be a DSGA... Damn, Sour Golden Ale.


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## CoxR (4/6/16)

Pitched yeast into a cube and forgot to back the lid off.
Result was a split cube and 20 Liters of wort on the floor inside.
After than the wife made me move my fermenting fridge out side on the downstairs deck in case of future accidents.
We were crying as we cleaned up the mess as it smelt so good.


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## Droopy Brew (7/1/17)

Broke out the brew gear today for the first batch of the year. All was packed away in the shed while we were on holidays so I decided to get the urn out and get the strike water going while I set up the rest of the gear.
So I stuck the hose in the urn to fill while I went to get the water salts. Came back and started to put the salts in- hang on whats that? My 2 STC1000s that I use to measure the mash and water temps.
Luckily I pilfered the one from the brew fridge to get the brew underway. I didnt even bother looking at them- straight to the bin.


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## malt junkie (7/1/17)

Measured 1/2 teaspoon Magnesium sulfate into the brew and about 200g onto the shed floor :huh:

It didn't get better I hadn't tightened the plumbing after a full strip down so all my union joints leaked all over the floor right next to 4800w of electrical, a qick tighten up and all was good though. I then had controller issues cause I'd pulled it down for some maintenance and a cooling fan so I would stop melting SSRs. I got brew day underway but it got too hot to do the boil so I'm waiting till tonight to finish off this 60L batch and christen the conical. 5 beers later and maybe a few more to come what could go wrong!!!


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## Snow (12/1/17)

Here's a link to my worst stuff up h34r:
http://aussiehomebrewer.com/topic/5517-a-tragedy/?p=59480


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