# What's Been Happening On Ahb?



## MarkBastard (16/9/11)

Say you had to sum up this whole year so far on AHB in point form, what's been happening?


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## argon (16/9/11)

Welcome back M^B... Bribie hit 10K and blew out an urn is the big news really

Edit... oh yeah and every man and his dog wants a Braumeister


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## MarkBastard (16/9/11)

Haha, so compared to the year before not much then?

Did he blow out his Birko or Crown???


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## argon (16/9/11)

the older one i think... the Birko


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## MarkBastard (16/9/11)

Haha nice. I imagine he clocked up no less than 500 brews on it in a 2 year period.


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## _HOME_BREW_WALLACE_ (16/9/11)

Welcome back MB. Where have you been?


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## MarkBastard (16/9/11)

I had a big stockpile of home brew up at the start of the year and then when it started running out I kept sort of forgetting to get more grain etc and that went on for months. Finally back into it now.

Not looking forward to cleaning everything :angry:


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## winkle (16/9/11)

argon said:


> Welcome back M^B... Bribie hit 10K and blew out an urn is the big news really
> 
> Edit... oh yeah and every man and his dog wants a Braumeister



Nothing much has really changed, here's a snap of Bribie delivering his comp beers to Ross's shop.

View attachment 48355


Same old, same old....


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## _HOME_BREW_WALLACE_ (16/9/11)

didn't chappo pop up and dissapear again?


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## raven19 (16/9/11)

Chappo indeed popped up with plans for the next Sherman.

We welcomed more new brewers to the fray.

We then managed to banish speedie, and now we are poking beer fingers with a stick.


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## WarmBeer (16/9/11)

Bum disappeared in a puff of smoke...

The "Show us your best bum screenshot" thread has been very quiet of late.


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## yardy (16/9/11)

WarmBeer said:


> Bum disappeared in a puff of smoke...




i wondered what happened to the bum, i hope he hasn't turned into a dag...


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## bradsbrew (16/9/11)

Darren pulled his head out of his arse and poked it in here a few times under a few different names.


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## _HOME_BREW_WALLACE_ (16/9/11)

raven19 said:


> We then managed to banish speedie, and now we are poking beer fingers with a stick.



Speedie........ Now theres a name i haven't heard in a while! Drunken Friday and Saturday nights just aren't the same any more 

Mark, if ur in need of a good old laugh and a few mins spare, please look up his threads. Guaranteed to put a smile on the dial


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## hirns (16/9/11)

yardy said:


> i wondered what happened to the bum, i hope he hasn't turned into a dag...




Well, it may sound anal, but I miss Bum, can't say the same for speedy! Bum I heard was off to Uni, so I dare say that has played a wee part in his absence.


Cheers :icon_cheers: 



Hirns


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## Nick JD (16/9/11)

Bum and education? Ten bucks he's studying law.


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## pokolbinguy (16/9/11)

Ohh and there is another AHB merch order on the loose. Join in!!


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## Lord Raja Goomba I (16/9/11)

Nick JD said:


> Bum and education? Ten bucks he's studying law.



'spose if you like arguing, it's a great occupation.

Let's hope he doesn't end up in contempt of court for a expletive laden verbal tirade against the crown/defense (depending on which side he's on). Could be a short career.

Goomba


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## Lord Raja Goomba I (16/9/11)

Couple of bulk buys went down in quick succession - I missed one by 30 minutes - trouble is, it only lasted 2 hours from start to places filled.

Goomba


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## hirns (16/9/11)

Nick JD said:


> Bum and education? Ten bucks he's studying law.



I think you just lost a tenner... Have to check back but think it was IT.









Hirns


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## Nick JD (16/9/11)

hirns said:


> I think you just lost a tenner... Have to check back but think it was IT.



Do While (BumHappy() != 0){

Argue();

}


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## jlm (16/9/11)

Well if no one else is going to..... Mark, do a search ffs. That's a joke for those devoid of a sense of humor.


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## Dave70 (16/9/11)

jlm said:


> Well if no one else is going to..... Mark, do a search ffs. That's a joke for those devoid of a sense of humor.



You gotta up-scale a comment like that now days to get a laugh, you know, throw up of of those links that when you click on it automaticaly type's the query into a Google for you. 

Don't try it on a predominantly US dominitated forum but. Those guys call you things like sarcastic or a hater..


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## bconnery (16/9/11)

http://lmgtfy.com/?q=site%3Aaussiehomebrew...appening+on+ahb

Edit: Yes, I was bored and enough of a smartarse to do that...


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## jyo (16/9/11)

We all rallied together to raise money for Cocko's overseas sex change holiday. Apparently the penis is doing very well. :lol:


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## Cocko (16/9/11)

jyo said:


> Apparently penis is doing very well.




Jyo has become obsessed with cock.... Thats all.

Glad to see you back MB!



And he also loves: www.porkspin.com - jyo.


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## loikar (16/9/11)

raven19 said:


> and now we are poking beer fingers with a stick.



As long as it's not a can opener or a Filthy, Dirty, Dirty, pillow case!!.

Filthy Dirty BIAB'ers..... fkn cheating bastards!

h34r:


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## jyo (16/9/11)

Cocko said:


> Jyo has become obsessed with cock.... Thats all.
> 
> Glad to see you back MB!
> 
> ...


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## rotten (17/9/11)

Carn Hawks :beer: 

You May Or may nominate those that misseed against the Swans tonight :icon_cheers: 

Carn Hawks :super:


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## bum (17/9/11)

Nick JD said:


> Do While (BumHappy() != 0){
> 
> Argue();
> 
> }


if (bumArgue())
{
bumHappy();
postcount++;
}
else
noPost();


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## Zizzle (17/9/11)

The Extract vs AG wars are back and where the entertainment is.

Some of the qld lads have their IPAs on tap in a bar.

German urns are the new march pump. It's advertised all over the forum. I think AHB has a minim quota for daily Braumeister related posts.

The clone wars have started, pissing of afore mention sellers/advertisers/purchasers.


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## fcmcg (17/9/11)

Welcome back bloke...
What have you missed ?
I got a logo ( and a t-shirt and hoodie )
Haysie got banned...( well he was being a bit naughty )
Speedie kept a few of us amused....
Jimboley went bust and decided to stop selling homebrew gear...
Reg had his name dragged through the mud...something about a plate chiller not ever turning up...
as mentioned...Germans...can't win wars but know how to make a beer and an automated brewery , it seems...
DU99 hit 1600 posts with not a single bit of brewing advice...he's even given up on posting links lol
A few blokes decided that ghetto Braumister ( is that how u spell it ? ) was the way to go...
The odd bulk Buy happened...
People forgot that yeast health is important...
And i became a Dad !
That's it in a nutshell !
Oh and i had a rant in the off topic about people's use of the english language.....
Happy Days !
Cheers..
Ferg


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## bonj (17/9/11)

Nick JD said:


> Do While (BumHappy() != 0){
> 
> Argue();
> 
> }


holy shit, that is the worst pseudocode I've ever seen!


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## Clutch (17/9/11)

bum said:


> if (bumArgue())
> {
> bumHappy();
> postcount++;
> ...



10 LOL

20 GOTO 10


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## Bribie G (17/9/11)

I prefer the Modula 2 version

BEGIN
WHILE 
WriteString(ProbeBum) := "Happy";
ProbeBum();
END
END

Hey Mark, that little black fridge is still chugging along mightily  
Yes it was the Birko. Element is fine, it's the control box/thermo/dial and GasElec were going to charge me a motza. I've got a couple of over the side elements, plus the AHB guy BuggarWork from down the road is going to do a Crowny on it and bypass the box so I'll have more boiling power than a Jap Power station B)


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## Tim F (17/9/11)

fergthebrewer said:


> Germans...can't win wars


Don't mention the war!!!!! h34r:


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## Bribie G (17/9/11)




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## Nick JD (17/9/11)

Bonj said:


> holy shit, that is the worst pseudocode I've ever seen!



It's VjavaB++ with 35 IBUs.


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## ashley_leask (17/9/11)

Bribie G said:


> I prefer the Modula 2 version
> 
> BEGIN
> WHILE
> ...



I pulled the ripcord at (ProbeBum). Exited safely with no further functions performed or parameters returned...


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## bconnery (17/9/11)

Bonj said:


> holy shit, that is the worst pseudocode I've ever seen!


That's cause it's stovetop psuedocode. Everyone knows pseudocode is better in 3V


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## Bribie G (17/9/11)

I'd love to buy a CodierenMeister but they are 3000


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## Fourstar (17/9/11)

Cocko said:


> And he also loves: www.porkspin.com - jyo.



reminds me of http://www.meatspin.com/


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## going down a hill (17/9/11)

Fourstar said:


> reminds me of http://www.meatspin.com/


I haven't been goatse'd in a while. Have a nice weekend.
I should of known better.


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## beerdrinkingbob (17/9/11)

Fourstar said:


> reminds me of http://www.meatspin.com/



Classic, had to shower after that, felt so dirty.......


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## Lecterfan (17/9/11)

beerdrinkingbob said:


> Classic, had to shower after that, felt so dirty.......




Yep - that one makes Cocko's look classy. Better production values, aesthetics etc...


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## felten (17/9/11)

ridin' spinnaz


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## Cocko (17/9/11)

Fourstar said:


> reminds me of http://www.meatspin.com/




You're a sick sick man 4*... I like that.


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## loikar (17/9/11)

Fourstar said:


> reminds me of http://www.meatspin.com/



WHOA!!!

That girl has the most MASSIVE clitoris I've ever seen!!
And how does she shit with no arse?


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## Fourstar (17/9/11)

Well, it was nice knowing you AHB. I'm sooo getting banned for this. :beerbang: 




going down a hill said:


> I haven't been goatse'd in a while. Have a nice weekend.
> I should of known better.






beerdrinkingbob said:


> Classic, had to shower after that, felt so dirty.......






Lecterfan said:


> Yep - that one makes Cocko's look classy. Better production values, aesthetics etc...






felten said:


> ridin' spinnaz






Cocko said:


> You're a sick sick man 4*... I like that.






BeerFingers said:


> WHOA!!!
> 
> That girl has the most MASSIVE clitoris I've ever seen!!
> And how does she shit with no arse?


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## Pennywise (17/9/11)

I'm scared for life. That is all


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## Cocko (17/9/11)

Fourstar said:


> Well, it was nice knowing you AHB. I'm sooo getting banned for this. :beerbang:



HAHA!...

I will be waiting for you on the flip side! :lol: 

If I haven't been banned yet, bro, you got nothing to stress!

:icon_chickcheers: 

What about jyo? he is an absolute c^nt and still survives too...


But maybe.. no more links aye? hehehe..


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## Pennywise (17/9/11)

If there is _I_ won't be clicking the fuckin' things I tell ya that much :icon_vomit:


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## Fourstar (17/9/11)

Cocko said:


> But maybe.. no more links aye? hehehe..



meatspinnetworkdotcom for the archive. h34r:


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## goomboogo (17/9/11)

Fourstar said:


> Well, it was nice knowing you AHB. I'm sooo getting banned for this. :beerbang:


If you get banned for that link, I'm starting a petition.


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## jyo (17/9/11)

Why did I click the link.....


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## Cocko (17/9/11)

jyo said:


> Why did I click the link.....



Because you miss your mum?


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## jyo (17/9/11)

Cocko said:


> Because you miss your mum?



Spun again!


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## Clutch (17/9/11)

No Tubgirl or two girls one cup yet? You guys are slow.


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## Cocko (17/9/11)

HAHA!


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## bigandhairy (17/9/11)

Cocko said:


> View attachment 48389
> 
> 
> HAHA!


Hahahahahahaha. You win!!! Hilaryass


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## Cocko (17/9/11)

jyo said:


> Spun again!



I love you but:


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## Shed101 (17/9/11)

Bribie G said:


>




Full episode on ABC iView at the moment.

V. appropriate as I sip a Whitbread 1941 IPA :icon_drunk:


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## peaky (17/9/11)

Clutch said:


> No Tubgirl or two girls one cup yet? You guys are slow.



Can't believe I just Googled this.

I'm scarred for life.


Now I can't believe I'm telling you guys I just Googled this.......


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## goomboogo (17/9/11)

peakydh said:


> Can't believe I just Googled this.
> 
> I'm scarred for life.
> 
> ...


Scarred is preferable to scared.


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## Cocko (18/9/11)

goomboogo said:


> Scarred is preferable to scared.




:lol:


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## jyo (18/9/11)

Cocko said:


> I love your butt:
> 
> View attachment 48390




I know.


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## Cocko (18/9/11)

Well played c&^t! Well played....


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## Fourstar (18/9/11)

goomboogo said:


> Scarred is preferable to scared.



It's never preferable, especially if you're "1 guy 1 cup" aka 1man1jar. 

Go on, get your google-fu on. I know you want to.


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## yardy (18/9/11)

i heard on the vine, bribie is going 3V


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## Pennywise (18/9/11)

He's gonna need more windcheaters


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## MarkBastard (18/9/11)

Thanks for the recap guys (AHB -and- Disgusting Internet memes!)

Pitched a GMT+10 London Porter FWK yesterday and brewed a Landlord _clone*_ today.


















*By clone I do not mean an atom-perfect recreation of the original Landlord, I mean the definition that anyone without a stick up their arse uses.


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## Bizier (18/9/11)

Mark^Bastard said:


> *By clone I do not mean an atom-perfect recreation of the original Landlord, I mean the definition that anyone without a stick up their arse uses.


Hey, sometimes it is the easiest place to store your kettle yardstick. Why you gotsta hate mang?




Oh, that is right, you included that information in your username.


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## Tim F (18/9/11)

Fourstar said:


> 1man1jar. Go on, get your google-fu on. I know you want to.



Die. :icon_vomit:


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## goomboogo (18/9/11)

Fourstar said:


> It's never preferable, especially if you're "1 guy 1 cup" aka 1man1jar.
> 
> Go on, get your google-fu on. I know you want to.


I have already viewed that particular train-wreck. It's definitely memorable. I flinched at the mere mention of it's name.


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## Tim F (18/9/11)

It's the only internet video I ever had to stop watching before the end.


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## goomboogo (18/9/11)

Tim F said:


> It's the only internet video I ever had to stop watching before the end.


The ending is something else. He doesn't scream until the very end. His concentration under such circumstance is amazing. The other amazing thing is his stupidity in doing it in the first place.


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## felten (18/9/11)

If only video was as common back in the goatse man's day. Or the lemonparty crew.


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## Tim F (18/9/11)

goomboogo said:


> The other amazing thing is his stupidity in doing it in the first place.



He makes a strong argument for only using plastic jars around the home, that's for sure.


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## goomboogo (18/9/11)

Tim F said:


> He makes a strong argument for only using plastic jars around the home, that's for sure.


Either that or just using glass jars for their intended purpose. Maybe those who oppose the use of glass in pubs could use this video in their campaign. "Look kids; this is the damage glass can do when placed in the hands of an idiot - ban all glassware now".


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## going down a hill (19/9/11)

felten said:


> If only video was as common back in the goatse man's day.


An image that will never leave your head.


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## Bribie G (19/9/11)

yardy said:


> i heard on the vine, bribie is going 3V


I've gone way past that, I'm now firmly 5v


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## MarkBastard (19/9/11)

Hahaha love your work Bribie. I think I've missed your recycled images more than anything.

I did a brew yesterday, and the whole lifting the bag part is still complete balls. I got one of those purpose made BIAB bags from Craftbrewer. The mesh is super fine, finer even than the Gryphon one I used to use, and because of that water drains out a lot slower and it's pretty hard when you're just pulling the bag up with your hands. Even the initial run off takes several minutes, with liquid above the grain level in the bag that refuses to leave the holes on the side of the bag.

It got my thinking, maybe having a sort of big funnel you chuck the bag onto and you can rotate pots underneath the funnel to collect the extra runoff and top your kettle up. Point of the funnel would be you don't need to use any rope / skyhooks.

I'd just get a skyhook but I have a false plaster ceiling and the concrete slab is about a foot above it so not sure how to install a skyhook in that.

I grabbed some runoff and attempted to caramelise it on the stove top too, hope it turns out good.


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## Bribie G (19/9/11)

Mark^Bastard said:


> .................................
> 
> It got my thinking, maybe having *a sort of big funnel you chuck the bag onto *and you can rotate pots underneath the funnel to collect the extra runoff and top your kettle up. Point of the funnel would be you don't need to use any rope / skyhooks.
> 
> ...



Thanks for pushing my button there. Now, there's a thingo that comes with Kegmates, designed to act as a stand for a commercial US style keg - I expect there are dozens of them languishing unwanted around the place, Ross might even have a giveaway. I dragged mine out:

Then I dragged the rack out  






It sits perfectly in a washing bowl you can get in most supermarkets. 

here it is with a Bunnings Handi Pail as a mock up - probably need a bigger pail and I don't feel like carving up my nappy bucket just yet but: large holes cut in bottom, you wouldn't need a false bottom as the bag would just get dumped in and would act as its own false bottom. Apply weight from above - just a cube of water - if the drain rate is slow you could even do a little fly sparge when doing a high gravity beer. 






Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm :icon_cheers:

Edit: The second kegerator I got, Anthony helped me unpack it and put in the car and when we came across the keg supporter I seem to remember saying "naah what would I need that for..." so it got left out. Could be a profitable new line for CB - "Item: PRES-BIAB001 - Bag drainage support for Pressinator Mk 2"  

Edit edit, of course the second upper rack is really superfluous, just happens to be a bit of kit I already have.


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## Tanga (19/9/11)

Mark^Bastard said:


> I'd just get a skyhook but I have a false plaster ceiling and the concrete slab is about a foot above it so not sure how to install a skyhook in that.



I grabbed a wooden A-frame ladder some wasteful person put out on hard rubbish day. Will fit perfectly over the top of an urn, just need to screw in a hook. Or one of those hanging basket hooks from bunnings will work.


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## felten (19/9/11)

You need to take that one step further Bribie, stick the pail in your urn, and recirculate the mash.


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## Bribie G (19/9/11)

Would that pail then be classed as a malt pipe?


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## felten (19/9/11)

It would be a braumeister clone


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## MarkBastard (19/9/11)

Tanga said:


> I grabbed a wooden A-frame ladder some wasteful person put out on hard rubbish day. Will fit perfectly over the top of an urn, just need to screw in a hook. Or one of those hanging basket hooks from bunnings will work.



Hmm that's not a bad idea. Never really thought about using a ladder.


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## bigandhairy (19/9/11)

felten said:


> You need to take that one step further Bribie, stick the pail in your urn, and recirculate the mash.


I have been pondering this exact same idea for the last few weeks. the bottom of those handy pails is near on the same diameter as the smaller size domed false bottom I got from CB. I have been thinking, cut the bottom out of the handy pail insert the false bottom and vorlauf to get wort clarity. I know its commonly debated that clarity into kettle isn't as important as it is into fermenter however I have been getting heaps of kettle trub since going biab especially when lots of hops are used. No real biggy but I wrestle with final volumes as the variance is often a bit different all things dependent. bugger it, I guess I'll just give it a crack and see what happens.

bah


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## DarkFaerytale (19/9/11)

if you guys could do one of these threads every year that'd be fantastic, then i can make sure nothing has changed whenever i do get the time to poke my head in


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## Bribie G (19/9/11)

Welcome back, Phill - annual visit hey :icon_cheers:


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## DarkFaerytale (19/9/11)

someone sent me a video of the braumister a few months back, certainly peaked my interest, thought i'd come in and see what the mad AHB guys had made up in there sheds to compete with it haha


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## MarkBastard (19/9/11)

DarkFaerytale said:


> if you guys could do one of these threads every year that'd be fantastic, then i can make sure nothing has changed whenever i do get the time to poke my head in



AHB: A year in review

Yeah that's a great idea. I'd love to re-read the highlights of my older days, the chinese hops etc haha.

I still have a whole heap of Chinese hops in my freezer too, if anyone wants them (haha!)


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## yardy (19/9/11)

Bribie G said:


> I've gone way past that, I'm now firmly 5v



touche :icon_cheers: 


i'm going to clone your setup now.


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## Silo Ted (19/9/11)

Cocko said:


> Jyo has become obsessed with cock.... Thats all.
> 
> Glad to see you back MB!
> 
> ...




Eat Your Soup , Cocko. :icon_vomit:


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## Cocko (19/9/11)

Silo Ted said:


> Eat Your Soup , Cocko.




Oh. Dear. God. ST!!......







...... Thats awesome! :huh: 



:lol:



BTW: Please delete yourself from the internet immediately and never communicate that to any other human ever!!  


:icon_cheers:


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## Blackapple (19/9/11)

Not sure if I ever will look at soup the same way


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## the_new_darren (19/9/11)

Ross carpet-bombed the 2011 Qld State show with his FWK's. He did quite well with seven places.

cheers

the_new_darren


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## WarmBeer (19/9/11)

What's Been Happening On Ahb?

Oh, that's right, Darren came back.


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## the_new_darren (19/9/11)




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## Tim F (19/9/11)

yardy said:


> touche :icon_cheers:
> 
> 
> i'm going to clone your setup now.


It won't be a real clone... no matter how good your malt pail looks.


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## goomboogo (19/9/11)

the_new_darren said:


>


Savage Garden were rubbish.


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## ashley_leask (19/9/11)

bigandhairy said:


> I have been pondering this exact same idea for the last few weeks. the bottom of those handy pails is near on the same diameter as the smaller size domed false bottom I got from CB. I have been thinking, cut the bottom out of the handy pail insert the false bottom and vorlauf to get wort clarity. I know its commonly debated that clarity into kettle isn't as important as it is into fermenter however I have been getting heaps of kettle trub since going biab especially when lots of hops are used. No real biggy but I wrestle with final volumes as the variance is often a bit different all things dependent. bugger it, I guess I'll just give it a crack and see what happens.
> 
> bah



I'm keen to see how this works as I have the same problem. The concealed element makes the bottom of the urn convex, so when the water level gets down to the top of the trub cone, it starts to fall away to the sides, and gets sucked up the pickup tube. 

Squeezing the bag vs. letting it drain on it's own I've noticed seems to make a big difference to the clarity into the kettle, so I tried that last brew, but it takes a long time as the bag mesh is very fine, and I was 1.5L short of volume as it seems the remaining wort just won't drain without some coaxing.

All these ghetto braumeisters had me thinking about the recirculating idea as well.


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