# First World Problems Thread



## Bribie G (8/5/12)

Well poor little kiddies won't eat their food so you will have to . 

I wonder if they would sell much of this in Bangladesh or Somalia to the poor widdle kiddums there who push their plates away and won't eat. 

As if


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## Gar (8/5/12)

Wank wank wank.....

What happened to parents being the boss?


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## jyo (8/5/12)

Not being a wowser but before having kids I thought there would be no way one of my kids would not eat certain things. Bashing my head against a brick wall seems a better option than trying to get my girl to eat something she doesn't want to...it just won't happen. So frustrating.


Getting back to the 1st world problems!- at work today I realised I had left a beef curry in the fridge and had taken lunch this morning today.

I tell you I was really stressed out having to choose between Madras beef and a ham and salad sandwich.


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## Deebo (8/5/12)

Thats nothing.. I forgot I had a leftover homemade hamburger in the fridge from dinner last night and took shitty macaroni and cheese to work..


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## mikec (8/5/12)

I very often have leftovers to take to work for lunch. 
I very often don't remember this until I am already at work.


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## bum (8/5/12)




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## jyo (8/5/12)

bum said:


>



Gold!


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## Dave70 (9/5/12)

I love how the Nestle company give themselves the nutritional get out of jail free card of framing their product as a 'supplement'. You might as well save a few bucks and dunk a doughnut in a glass of chocolate milk as consume this shit. 
Feed it to kids?
Not in my ******* house pal.

*Ingredients

Ingredients: Dutch Chocolate: Non fat Milk solids (51%), Sugar, Corn syrup solids, Cocoa (6%) (contains Soy lecithin), Whey protein concentrate (Milk, Soy lecithin), Whole Milk powder (Soy lecithin), Flavour, Lactose (Milk), Vitamins (Sodium ascorbate, Tocopheryl acetate, Niacinamide, Retinyl acetate, Cyanocobalamin, Thiamin hydrochloride, Folic acid), Minerals (Ferrous sulphate, Zinc sulphate). Vanilla: Non fat Milk solids (55%), Sugar, Corn syrup solids, Flavour, Vitamins (Sodium ascorbate, Tocopheryl acetate, Niacinamide, Ascorbic acid, Retinyl acetate, Cyanocobalamin, Thiamin hydrochloride, Folic acid), Minerals (Ferrous sulphate, Zinc sulphate). Lactose (Milk)*. 


Problems? Oh man - don't get me started.
Why only a month ago whilst vacationing down on the apple isle, we returned to our room after at around 10 am, after a seafood breakfast only to find the bed UNMADE and the bathroom linen STILL ON THE FLOOR!! Can you imagine?? What are they paying those maids for??
Despite this setback, the rest of out holiday went swimmingly - despite having to wait _half an hour _ to board the plane. And_ then_ they try and make it up to you by plying you with that shitty food they give you. Yeah, _right_..

I've a good mind to take out next trip overseas as a matter of fact.


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## petesbrew (9/5/12)

So I brewed last night. Only had 5 hours sleep, and then on the train in, I had to get up to let the window seat guy out at strathfield. 
So I only got a broken sleep on the train between Stratfield and central.
Something must be done.


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## manticle (9/5/12)

I buy all my pants from Savers.


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## petesbrew (9/5/12)

Trolling is an addiction.


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## Fents (9/5/12)

manticle said:


> I buy all my pants from Savers.



seriously have you checked out the beer glassware at savers? i've brought loads of cool glass's and most are 50cents. savers rocks, no trollololol


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## manticle (9/5/12)

Seriously, I buy my pants from Savers.

Quality, tailored pants.

Savers Rocks, no trollol at all.

Will check out the glassware


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## petesbrew (9/5/12)

petesbrew said:


> Trolling is an addiction.


I was actually saying this as a general first world problem comment... wasn't directed at you or anyone, Mant.
:beer: Hopefully the attached emoticon cancels out any negative vibes.
:icon_chickcheers:


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## manticle (9/5/12)

Sorry Pete, I neither saw it when you first posted it nor take it personally now that you've drawn my attention to it.

I do however hate emoticons so much that I see red with you anyway and may have to nip down and get myself some meds.


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## petesbrew (9/5/12)

emoticons make the world go round.


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## manticle (9/5/12)

Actually emoticons are single-handedly responsible for the current global financial crisis as well as some minor but still pressing issues with pandemic diseases in more remote Eastern European countries. I also tripped over an emoticon and broke most of my toenails.


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## Gar (9/5/12)

Why do Grolsch bottles have to be filled with Grolsch....


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## glenwal (9/5/12)

Until someone defines a universal sarcasm font, emoticons are a necessary evil in our society.

:icon_chickcheers:


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## mikec (9/5/12)

You will never see me using emoticons. Ever.
I use my words to communicate.


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## white.grant (9/5/12)

mikec said:


> You will never see me using emoticons. Ever.
> I use my words to communicate. :super: :beer:



fixed it h34r:

edit: the animated ones are the worst


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## jyo (9/5/12)

mikec said:


> You will never see me using emoticons. Ever.
> I use my words to communicate.



Some countries can't afford emoticons, mate.

You are a kind human to be conserving them for others.


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## komodo (10/5/12)

mikec said:


> I very often have leftovers to take to work for lunch.
> I very often don't remember this until I am already at work.




^ this!
Hell SWMBO even leaves it on the bench next to my keys and I still forget it. I pretty much dont wake up till I have my coffee in the morning - this usually happens about an hour after I get into the office. Fucked if I know what destruction I caused occured before this. Then I remember **** I forgot my lunch and the fun buster isnt going to be pleased when she gets home and sees it on the bench still. Or worse I grab it off the bench then forget it and leave it in the car. Pretty sure shes given up on sending left overs in with me to work


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## WarmBeer (10/5/12)

Komodo said:


> ^ this!
> Hell SWMBO even leaves it on the bench next to my keys and I still forget it. I pretty much dont wake up till I have my coffee in the morning - this usually happens about an hour after I get into the office. Fucked if I know what destruction I caused occured before this. Then I remember **** I forgot my lunch and the fun buster isnt going to be pleased when she gets home and sees it on the bench still. Or worse I grab it off the bench then forget it and leave it in the car. Pretty sure shes given up on sending left overs in with me to work


Staple your sandwich to the back of your hand.

First world problem, solved.


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## petesbrew (10/5/12)

Some f##khead keeps sticking the earl grey in the same container as the green tea.
WTF!?!?


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## drsmurto (10/5/12)

petesbrew said:


> Some f##khead keeps sticking the earl grey in the same container as the green tea.
> WTF!?!?



You get earl grey?

We have to tough it out on english breakfast. I tried pointing out that i have breakfast at home but they refused to listen.


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## mikec (10/5/12)

petesbrew said:


> Some f##khead keeps sticking the earl grey in the same container as the green tea.
> WTF!?!?



Fill the pot with coffee (loose), that'll learn 'em.


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## pk.sax (10/5/12)

Some fukhead complained that people keep putting stuff meant for him in his group email folder without notifying him in writing. Checking a second email is too much work!


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## Ducatiboy stu (24/5/12)

They really have to do something about the staff coffee in hospitals. Seriuosly, the only coffee in those International Roast sache's is whats written on the outside, the rest is just red dust from the carpark...drives a man to drink tea...and I am serious


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## Bribie G (24/5/12)

I really need to take a piss but I'm too engrossed in this thread to get up but need to take a piss too badly to continue reading this thread.


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## petesbrew (24/5/12)

Ducatiboy stu said:


> They really have to do something about the staff coffee in hospitals. Seriuosly, the only coffee in those International Roast sache's is whats written on the outside, the rest is just red dust from the carpark...drives a man to drink tea...and I am serious


3x sachets & make a short black with it....


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## Dave70 (24/5/12)

The foxtel is out on the plasma screen TV for some reason (though I can still watch the recorded programs on IQ) forcing us to view it in the family room on the older cathode ray style TV.
Some days, its just not worth getting out of bed.


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## Ducatiboy stu (24/5/12)

Its getting cold.... I want something done about right now


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## WarmBeer (24/5/12)

My fully-enclosed, wireless, active-bass, surround-sound headphones are making my earlobes too hot.


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## glenwal (24/5/12)

Ducatiboy stu said:


> Its getting cold.... I want something done about right now


I drive a V8 - does that count as doing something to help? Or maybe we should all pull the PRV on our kegs one extra time when purging.


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## Dave70 (24/5/12)

Glen W said:


> I drive a V8 - does that count as doing something to help? Or maybe we should all pull the PRV on our kegs one extra time when purging.



Well I drive a V8 DIESEL. Sometimes I labour the motor cos I'm to slack to select the correct gear.
That's a fist full of ******* CO2 _and_ particulate matter right there.


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## Malted (24/5/12)

jyo said:


> Some countries can't afford emoticons, mate.
> 
> You are a kind human to be conserving them for others.



Apparently emoticons can be very dangerous.
Didn't they make a movie about emoticons? 




Oh hang on I think the planes had me confused! Wasn't it Emoticon Air?



Who could forget this scene?


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## Liam_snorkel (24/5/12)

My beer is empty and I have to get up off my arse to fetch another.


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## WarmBeer (24/5/12)

Liam_snorkel said:


> My beer is empty and I have to get up off my arse to fetch another.


1) Kegerator
2) Laz-y-boy recliner
3) Pint glass
4) Empty 2lt orange juice bottle

First world problem. Solved.


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## Fatgodzilla (24/5/12)

Bribie G said:


> Well poor little kiddies won't eat their food so you will have to .
> 
> I wonder if they would sell much of this in Bangladesh or Somalia to the poor widdle kiddums there who push their plates away and won't eat.
> 
> As if





Can you please keep this thread on line Bribie! :angry: What's Sustagen got to do with it!


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## Liam_snorkel (24/5/12)

WarmBeer said:


> 1) Kegerator
> 2) Laz-y-boy recliner
> 3) Pint glass
> 4) Empty 2lt orange juice bottle
> ...



But the keg fridge is all the way over _there_. It's alright guys I poured a bigger one this time.


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## Bribie G (24/5/12)

There's a pathway into the Liquorland Pub / bottlo at the end of our cul de sac so it takes a lot longer to actually drive round the streets to get there as opposed to walking, but I always drive because the neighbours know I home brew and I don't want them to think I've done a crook batch if they see me walking home with 3 coopers tallies or some Henninger. I have my pride you know.


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## Ducatiboy stu (24/5/12)

My kids want desert.....ponder that one


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## manticle (24/5/12)

With palm trees?







Or without?


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## Ducatiboy stu (24/5/12)

Ducatiboy stu said:


> My kids want desert.....ponder that one


This is a true story....They want a desert, cause it has lots of sand, and they can have the biggest sand pit..


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## davo4772 (24/5/12)

Two Iphones in the house, one charger. Someone please help!


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## glenwal (25/5/12)

david72 said:


> Two Iphones in the house, one charger. Someone please help!


1) Open your bin
2) Insert both iPhones
3) Get 2 androids


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## Airgead (25/5/12)

Glen W said:


> 1) Open your bin
> 2) Insert both iPhones
> 3) Get 2 androids



Word. :super:


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## Dave70 (25/5/12)

My current batch of truffles are giving my breakfast quail eggs a lumpy mouth feel.

I need a new pig with a more refined snout.


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## Ducatiboy stu (25/5/12)

Dave70 said:


> My current batch of truffles are giving my breakfast quail eggs a lumpy mouth feel.
> 
> I need a new pig with a more refined snout.



The problem is that you are using Italian truffles, you need the more expensive French truffles. You can improve your truffles and quail eggs by add some top shelf beluga caviar.

I also sugest you take the pig to a plastic surgeon. Its the least you can do for your pig.

Hope this solves your current crisis.


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## Malted (25/5/12)

Dave70 said:


> My current batch of truffles are giving my breakfast quail eggs a lumpy mouth feel.
> 
> I need a new pig with a more refined snout.



My dear fellow it has been my experience that pigs are rather greedy chaps and it is jolly hard to stop them from eating or attempting to fornicate with the truffles, in either case the truffles are oft ruined. The upside to this is that truffles impart a superior flavour to the flesh of the swine. I suggest that you butcher the hog as it will make exceptional porcine charchuterie and purchase a neutered dog for truffle foraging, they're much more reliable and social chaps.


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## argon (25/5/12)




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## Dave70 (25/5/12)

Malted said:


> My dear fellow it has been my experience that pigs are rather greedy chaps and it is jolly hard to stop them from eating or attempting to fornicate with the truffles, in either case the truffles are oft ruined. The upside to this is that truffles impart a superior flavour to the flesh of the swine. I suggest that you butcher the hog as it will make exceptional porcine charchuterie and purchase a neutered dog for truffle foraging, they're much more reliable and social chaps.




Well to be honest, I'm inclined to dispense with the truffle idea altogether. Who'd have suspected that a simple food staple would be the source of so much bother!!
As luck would have it, the deli owner who supplies my Foie gras has a brother who lives near the Caspian Sea and is willing to milk a some Sturgeons for me. 

As per the previous callers suggestion, I dispatched the pig (sow) off to the beautician where she split an ampule of botox with the wife.
And what a change! The missus, well old 'deadface' wont be doing much beside moving her eyes like one of those creepy horror movie portrait's for a few days, but the pig, _helloooo..._
Imagine Oprah with a uniform case Vitiligo.


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## petesbrew (25/5/12)

When are they ever going to develop a long-lasting flourescent pen?
instead they always dry out overnight.


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## bum (25/5/12)

Dave70 said:


> ... milk a some Sturgeons for me...ampule...


^enjoyed


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## Malted (25/5/12)

petesbrew said:


> When are they ever going to develop a long-lasting flourescent pen?
> instead they always dry out overnight.



I find putting the lid back on them when I am finished extends the lifetime of the pen. They do tend to dry out rapidly without the lid.


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## Malted (25/5/12)

Dave70 said:


> Well to be honest, I'm inclined to dispense with the truffle idea altogether. Who'd have suspected that a simple food staple would be the source of so much bother!!
> As luck would have it, the deli owner who supplies my Foie gras has a brother who lives near the Caspian Sea and is willing to milk a some Sturgeons for me.
> 
> As per the previous callers suggestion, I dispatched the pig (sow) off to the beautician where she split an ampule of botox with the wife.
> ...


Oh my dear chap, I do so hope you mean Foi gras de oie? Hers indoors attended a surgeon recently and by golly did that fellow milk my wallet! I do so hope that your Porcine paramour proves to be a pleasant procurement.


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## Clutch (25/5/12)

I thought dogs had replaced pigs as the weapon of choice when it came to locating truffles?


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## petesbrew (26/5/12)

Malted said:


> I find putting the lid back on them when I am finished extends the lifetime of the pen. They do tend to dry out rapidly without the lid.


Yeah but do you always put the lid back on your biro? That don't dry out quick.
An obstacle they need to overcome.


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## Ducatiboy stu (26/5/12)

Dave70 said:


> Well to be honest, I'm inclined to dispense with the truffle idea altogether. Who'd have suspected that a simple food staple would be the source of so much bother!!
> As luck would have it, the deli owner who supplies my Foie gras has a brother who lives near the Caspian Sea and is willing to milk a some Sturgeons for me.
> 
> As per the previous callers suggestion, I dispatched the pig (sow) off to the beautician where she split an ampule of botox with the wife.
> ...



I might also suggest that a few bottle of Grange would also help, personally I would buy 2 cases, just in case friends drop over. I would also suggest sharkfin soup served in Ivory bowls would make an excellent entre'


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## Clutch (26/5/12)

With cutlery made from Narwhal horn.


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## Ducatiboy stu (26/5/12)

Clutch said:


> With cutlery made from Narwhal horn.



Very much so...


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## jlm (26/5/12)

The Kooi Full Nelson I bought for a roadie on the drive home from work today was too cold.


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## Clutch (26/5/12)

I have to vary the bikes I ride to work in order to keep batteries charged on all of them, and one of them has race-pattern shifting.


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## WarmBeer (26/5/12)

My tummy hurts from too much beer and curry


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## Ivan Other One (27/5/12)

SWMBO brought home some beef jerky that was not dry enough.


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## Malted (27/5/12)

Ivan Other One said:


> SWMBO brought home some beef jerky that was not dry enough.



Indeed this may be a problem, perhaps it was Biltong? It could be easy to confuse the two...


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## Dave70 (28/5/12)

Clutch said:


> I have to vary the bikes I ride to work in order to keep batteries charged on all of them, and one of them has race-pattern shifting.



Ever nearly gone over the bars after getting the two mixed up? That's funny. For onlookers anyway.
I remember reading Doohan's advice once, head up, change up - head down push down.

But yeah, the battery thing is a major hassle. It like, takes me a whole 15 minutes every three or four years to swap mine out and replace it. What bullshit! It should last for the life of the motorcycle in my opinion.
And now its getting chilly, you may also have to go through the added drama of putting on you heated vest and gloves. 
It's never ending.


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## Ducatiboy stu (28/5/12)

This sitting in the sun on the verandah enjoying the warmth is getting a bit much, especially when you dont have anyone to make you a coffee....damn, I have to get up and do it myself.....


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## Liam_snorkel (28/5/12)

My new giant TV lacks some features which I assumed it would have.


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## jyo (28/5/12)

Yeah? Well I ate so much food on Friday whilst on a fully catered training course and then Saturday morning that I had to do two poos in one day. It kind of ruined my day.


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## goomboogo (29/5/12)

jyo said:


> Yeah? Well I ate so much food on Friday whilst on a fully catered training course and then Saturday morning that I had to do two poos in one day. It kind of ruined my day.


Having two poos in one day makes my day.


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## punkin (29/5/12)

jyo said:


> Yeah? Well I ate so much food on Friday whilst on a fully catered training course and then Saturday morning that I had to do two poos in one day. It kind of ruined my day.



Lucky, lucky bastard.

Should try my poo train. it stops at every station.




Speaking of which i had a terrible time this morning.

She's bought the three ply with the extra glue again. Sat there for seconds, ripping the first sheet acroos when it should just peel away.

For fucks sake, we're not buying home brand here, we should be getting better glue. :angry: 



What'sThePointOfPayingPremiumPunkin


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## petesbrew (29/5/12)

Liam_snorkel said:


> My new giant TV lacks some features which I assumed it would have.


Doesn't that just suck.

Wife's complained that the last 2 times I've pressed record on the PVR (and she's seen me do it, and "record" came up on the screen) it hasn't recorded. FFS.
We got an OLIN brand.... don't touch them, whatever you do. All I can say is it was cheap.

I miss the simplicity of VHS.
Grab Tape
Hope it's rewound.
Put in VCR
Press record.


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## Liam_snorkel (29/5/12)

We got a Sharp - the TV itself is great, but its unable to set a repeat program, it has to be done for each day individually.

With the old TV (LG), I set it to automatically switch to ABC at 7pm weekdays, so that no matter what shit the mrs is watching on Ch 7 (which is _always_ running 10 mins behind) we wouldn't miss the "top" news story.


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## Ducatiboy stu (29/5/12)

You bunch of whingers, you guys think you have it tough..

My Remote has flat baterries and have to get up to change the channel manually


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## petesbrew (29/5/12)

Ducatiboy stu said:


> You bunch of whingers, you guys think you have it tough..
> 
> My Remote has flat baterries and have to get up to change the channel manually


You should u use a broom to change channels. If it's not long enough stickytape it to the mop handle... and then stickytape a pen to the end so you can get the fiddly little buttons.


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## Ducatiboy stu (29/5/12)

petesbrew said:


> You should u use a broom to change channels. If it's not long enough stickytape it to the mop handle... and then stickytape a pen to the end so you can get the fiddly little buttons.




I will ask the maids if I have any, not that I would know what they looked like


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## Dave70 (29/5/12)

Ducatiboy stu said:


> You bunch of whingers, you guys think you have it tough..
> 
> My Remote has flat baterries and have to get up to change the channel manually




Well, I hope your i phones within reach (and charged), cos I've the perfect solution for you.

http://www.monkeyhelpers.org/


I'm currently on the waiting list for one that can gather a tallie from the fridge WITHOUT stirring up the sediment, use a bottle opener without poking it's eye out. 
If they send you one with a pirate patch, you'll know it was one of the ones I returned.


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## Ducatiboy stu (29/5/12)

Are they friendly with other animals, I mean I dont want it picking a fight with my albino panther....


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## Malted (29/5/12)

Dave70 said:


> Well, I hope your i phones within reach (and charged), cos I've the perfect solution for you.
> 
> http://www.monkeyhelpers.org/
> 
> ...




I would not reccomend this service. I had one for a while but it didn't work out. It was fine at first except for not being very good with bottle openers but after a while I'd tell the little capuchin to fetch me another beer and the little bathplug would shit in it's hand and throw it at me, I fixed his little red wagon I can tell you. If you get one with a pirate patch and a prosthetic bottle opener hook for a hand, you'll know it was one of the ones I returned.


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## Ducatiboy stu (29/5/12)

Well, you receive one with its other arm missing, you will know it tried to steal the Foie gras and Wagyu eye fillet pat'e from my Panther. After all, it is flown in twice weekly from Paris and Tokyo...


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## Malted (29/5/12)

Ducatiboy stu said:


> Well, you receive one with its other arm missing, you will know it tried to steal the Foie gras and Wagyu eye fillet pat'e from my Panther. After all, it is flown in twice weekly from Paris and Tokyo...



Your Panther sure would have some frequent flyer points! How do you get around Quarantine? My mate is bringing a hound and a feline back from England and I am sure he said the poor blighters have to spend a month or two in Quarantine isolation upon their return.


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## Dave70 (29/5/12)

Ducatiboy stu said:


> Are they friendly with other animals, I mean I dont want it picking a fight with my albino panther....



Don't turn your back on it for to long.
The panther will hold its own. But it decided to try and make a meal of my Corroboree frog's and suffered mild alkaloid poisoning. 
That meant another trip to the vet for the monkey, and an air freight charge from the Southern tablelands for another box of frogs.

I suggest you have it's teeth pulled.
We may indeed end up with the primate equivalent of robo cop here, but a more refined package to be sure.


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## bum (29/5/12)

Dave70 said:


> robo cop


How positively gauche!


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## Ducatiboy stu (29/5/12)

Malted said:


> Your Panther sure would have some frequent flyer points! How do you get around Quarantine? My mate is bringing a hound and a feline back from England and I am sure he said the poor blighters have to spend a month or two in Quarantine isolation upon their return.



Have'nt had any quarantine or customs issues... the guys usually come around at night and drop everything off.... They say that as they dont get in till late, the customs & quarantine office is closed, so they cant pay, and they leave early so never get to pay in the mornings


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## Malted (29/5/12)

If you receive a pugnacious capuchin monkey with one arm missing, one hand replaced with a hook bottle opener prosthesis, a pirate eye patch, no teeth, hair stained with frog guts, foaming at the mouth, scars all over it from fighting panthers and answers to the name of Lucky, you may have received a monkey that Dave, Stu and Malted have rejected.


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## bum (29/5/12)

Malted said:


> If you receive a pugnacious capuchin monkey with one arm missing, one hand replaced with a hook bottle opener prosthesis, a pirate eye patch, no teeth, hair stained with frog guts, foaming at the mouth, scars all over it from fighting panthers and answers to the name of Lucky, you may have received a monkey that Dave, Stu and Malted have rejected.


Underpants around its ankles.


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## Malted (29/5/12)

Ducatiboy stu said:


> Are they friendly with other animals,



Apparently they like chest puppies


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## Ducatiboy stu (30/5/12)

I had an appointment at Centerlink today, turned up 5min early, got straight in....then old mate told me the best times to bring back outstanding paper work.....


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## petesbrew (31/5/12)

Yearly train ticket. 2 months old. Won't work becuase of tiny crease in corner. FFS.


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## pk.sax (1/6/12)

The meds worked too well and I did not suffer enough at work to get a few sympathy points.

2020 posts. Now I need to sit back and allow that to stay up there. I'm gonna suffer.


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## pk.sax (1/6/12)

Facebook is running slow


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## Bribie G (1/6/12)

My dLink usb dongle is only 50cm through a plaster wall from my Wifi wireless router and I'm only getting three bars out of four. Bigpond lie.


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## bum (1/6/12)

That's only signal strength though. Your actual throughput may be the the same. If you're using a laptop try speedtest.net in each room a few times and see how it averages out. Make sure you're comparing data from the same server though.


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## Clutch (2/6/12)

People aren't searching before they post stuff.


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## bum (2/6/12)

No one ever has - this is the internet.


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## Clutch (2/6/12)

What the **** is the internet?


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## Bribie G (2/6/12)

I decided to save money and follow a third world diet with dal, rice, veg curries - incredibly cheap but I can't stand the constant farting.


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## TasChris (2/6/12)

Bribie G said:


> I decided to save money and follow a third world diet with dal, rice, veg curries - incredibly cheap but I can't stand the constant farting.


Poor people smell


----------



## petesbrew (2/6/12)

Made a toasted wrap today with leftover bbq chook, tahbouli, cheese, tomato & bbq sause.
It was awesome, but dammit it made me fart.

Not exactly a problem, just thought I'd boast about an awesome lunch. Honestly the farts were great as my kids love the pull my finger joke


----------



## pk.sax (2/6/12)

Damn old ppl fart at the suggestion of it.

I'm off to make khichdi now. It will take a full 10 minutes!


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (3/6/12)

Its raining and i cant mow my lawn


----------



## pk.sax (3/6/12)

Eat or drink?


----------



## bum (3/6/12)

Do both. Then be merry.


----------



## pk.sax (3/6/12)

That's three things! 2 is pushing it. I'm not a woman you know.


----------



## Malted (3/6/12)

I want to go to bed but I can't because I am still brewing. Cool evening and steam is condensing on the shed rood, I got dripped on.


----------



## Bizier (4/6/12)

Brewing requires an amount of work which is greater than not brewing, but I prefer to drink home brewed beer. None of you know how I feel right now.


----------



## Bizier (4/6/12)

Ducatiboy stu said:


> I also sugest you take the pig to a plastic surgeon. Its the least you can do for your pig.


It is animal cruelty to deny a pig social acceptance just because you are too cheap for the swinoplasty.


----------



## brettprevans (4/6/12)

Power sub station is out. No one else in street (as far as I can see) is without power, bastards. So no power means reliance on 3g net rather than home wifi. And of course no power to charge my phone. Limited time on Ahb ahead tonight


----------



## bum (4/6/12)

In a laudable effort to only supply fresh yeast, my LHBS (not all that local, involves the postie) is _never, ever_ able to supply me with my first choice yeast. I don't ordinarily go for the esoteric varieties. Is it too much to ask for the high-turnover yeasts to be in stock most of the time?


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (4/6/12)

Magnum Almond or Magnum ego........


----------



## mikec (5/6/12)

We're in Thailand. We got to the hotel bar a bit late as we'd just had a 2 course meal for two, inc drinks for $20.
Because we got to the bar late, only the first two rounds were at happy hour (2 for 1) prices. So for 6 cocktails we had to actually pay for 4. At $5 each...


----------



## WarmBeer (5/6/12)

mikec said:


> We're in *Thailand*. We got to the hotel bar a bit late as we'd just had a 2 course meal for two, inc drinks for $20.


So, this is technically a _Second World Problem_. You'll need to start your own thread for this.


----------



## bum (6/6/12)

J


bum said:


> In a laudable effort to only supply fresh yeast, my LHBS (not all that local, involves the postie) is _never, ever_ able to supply me with my first choice yeast. I don't ordinarily go for the esoteric varieties. Is it too much to ask for the high-turnover yeasts to be in stock most of the time?


After sending a slightly whingy email, I got a call from said retailer addressing the above. Acknowledged my points and told me how they are currently trying to address the issues. Nice responsiveness. Well played.


----------



## petesbrew (6/6/12)

WarmBeer said:


> So, this is technically a _Second World Problem_. You'll need to start your own thread for this.


Has thailand moved up a world?


----------



## WarmBeer (6/6/12)

petesbrew said:


> Has thailand moved up a world?


It's most likely where your computer hard drive came from. They don't manufacture them in grass huts.

I think Thailand is kinda 1.5th world, but that would have made an even less-funny punchline.


----------



## glenwal (6/6/12)

WarmBeer said:


> I think Thailand is kinda 1.5th world, but that would have made an even less-funny punchline.



You should have known that bending or altering the truth for the purpose of a joke is not acceptable. Jokes are only funny when they are 100% factual and when supplied with evidence to prove so.


----------



## petesbrew (6/6/12)

WarmBeer said:


> It's most likely where your computer hard drive came from. They don't manufacture them in grass huts.


And where our euroswill tanktops come from.


----------



## Bribie G (6/6/12)

Centrelink want me to merge my account with a Medicare account as they are all migrating to "Department of Human Services" but I can't be bothered to go into the kitchen and get my wallet to find out what my Medicare number is.


----------



## bradsbrew (6/6/12)

Bribie G said:


> Centrelink want me to merge my account with a Medicare account as they are all migrating to "Department of Human Services" but I can't be bothered to go into the kitchen and get my wallet to find out what my Medicare number is.



Thats ok it's, 437654320P. I found it by googling your name and address. Can't believe I had to take such a long pathway to find it though, surely someone could do something about that.


----------



## MaestroMatt (6/6/12)

As I was getting ready for work this morning, I accidentally sprayed my hair with deodorant instead of hairspray.


----------



## bum (6/6/12)

So you actually smelled manly today? How is this a problem?


----------



## Malted (6/6/12)

bum said:


> So you actually smelled manly today? How is this a problem?


Tsk tsk Bum, you're not usually a man to jump to conclusions. He did not say it was HIS deodorant. Let's get some more information. He might of smelt awfully flowery and girly...


----------



## manticle (6/6/12)

So he stayed at your place then?


----------



## bum (6/6/12)

First world problem: I was wrong on the internet.


----------



## petesbrew (6/6/12)

bum said:


> First world problem: I was wrong on the internet.


Photos or it didn't happen.


----------



## bum (6/6/12)

I'll deny it anyway.

"IT WAS SHOPPED, I TELLS YA!"


----------



## Liam_snorkel (6/6/12)

My beer is too cold.


----------



## brettprevans (6/6/12)

MaestroMatt said:


> As I was getting ready for work this morning, I accidentally sprayed my hair with deodorant instead of hairspray.


Ur using hair spray? Thats your first problem!...


----------



## rotten (6/6/12)

My kegs are farkin empty


----------



## WarmBeer (7/6/12)

Latest service pack broke backwards compatibility, and now I can't compile.


----------



## Liam_snorkel (7/6/12)

can't decide what to get for lunch.


----------



## punkin (7/6/12)

Liam_snorkel said:


> can't decide what to get for lunch.



That's an easy one. Runny bread.


----------



## Bribie G (7/6/12)

Whats with the steak specials at the pub where they serve the steak on top of a pile of crisp chips so the gravy and juices run down into them and make them go soggy? I just had one here at the International and had to rebuild the plate but saved most of them.


----------



## Malted (7/6/12)

Bribie G said:


> Whats with the steak specials at the pub where they serve the steak on top of a pile of crisp chips so the gravy and juices run down into them and make them go soggy? I just had one here at the International and had to rebuild the plate but saved most of them.




My missus prefers soggy chips. I prefer crisp chips. Should I leave her?


----------



## glenwal (7/6/12)

Malted said:


> My missus prefers soggy chips. I prefer crisp chips. Should I leave her?



I also enjoy soggy chips - is your missus hot? B)


----------



## Malted (7/6/12)

Glen W said:


> I also enjoy soggy chips - is your missus hot? B)


Yeah she is alright, a little large around the waist and thighs but has an attractive face and great set of tits. She could probably suck a golf ball through a garden hose... ahh on second thoughts she can eat her chips however she likes.


----------



## MaestroMatt (7/6/12)

citymorgue2 said:


> Ur using hair spray? Thats your first problem!...



My natural wog oils just won't get me that volume I'm looking for!




manticle said:


> So he stayed at your place then?




Yes. My hand stayed at my place.





For the record........I smelled glorious.


----------



## Liam_snorkel (7/6/12)

MaestroMatt said:


> My natural wog oils just won't get me that volume I'm looking for!


Same here!


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (7/6/12)

Got a six pack of Coopers Celebration Ale....Do I drink all of them tonight because they are really, really nice, or save some for tomorrow and have a small batch bourbon


----------



## rotten (7/6/12)

Drink em all and call in sick tomorrow :chug: you know you want too


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (7/6/12)

I am not working atm, so considering having one for breakfast.....simply because i can B)


----------



## bradsbrew (7/6/12)

Ducatiboy stu said:


> I am not working atm, so considering having one for breakfast.....simply because i can B)



U = bastard

Lucky me gets to deliver new non- friable asbestos course I developed to clients and trainers tommorrow. You get the option of having beer for breakfest so



U = bastard


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (7/6/12)

Sorry Brad


Just taking one for the team.....


----------



## bum (14/6/12)

bum said:


> After sending a slightly whingy email, I got a call from said retailer addressing the above. Acknowledged my points and told me how they are currently trying to address the issues. Nice responsiveness. Well played.


Ah, don't actually follow through on your promises?

Back on the shit-list you go!


----------



## Malted (14/6/12)

The toilet paper at work is too thin. 
I am accustomed to folding so I have to become a scruncher for it to do an effective job or else my finger ruptures the paper. It is such a terrible thing to have to change ones habits. As far as I am concerned, scrunching is a terrible thing.
I don't like toilets that have had other bums on them. As far as I am concerned, public toilets and work toilets are only for holding your breath whilst urinating in them. 
I try to only shit in my own nest but sometimes I get caught at work. Sometimes, if I can, I will hold it in all day so I can use my own toilet when I get home. Sometimes driving home is uncomfortable.


----------



## bum (14/6/12)

Malted said:


> As far as I am concerned, scrunching is a terrible thing.


Scrunch to knock the lumps off then fold for the detail work.


----------



## bradsbrew (14/6/12)

Malted said:


> The toilet paper at work is too thin.
> I am accustomed to folding so I have to become a scruncher for it to do an effective job or else my finger ruptures the paper. It is such a terrible thing to have to change ones habits. As far as I am concerned, scrunching is a terrible thing.
> I don't like toilets that have had other bums on them. As far as I am concerned, public toilets and work toilets are only for holding your breath whilst urinating in them.
> I try to only shit in my own nest but sometimes I get caught at work. Sometimes, if I can, I will hold it in all day so I can use my own toilet when I get home. Sometimes driving home is uncomfortable.


Thats why PPE wipes or Iso wipes are extra handy. I spend a bit of time cleaning the seat before i can sit. Also putting a lock on a cubicle door helps  still have to clean it just in case.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (14/6/12)

Best be not coming to my place then, I will give you a shovel, newspaper and bag of lime, then point you towards the scrub.


----------



## kirem (14/6/12)

Malted said:


> The toilet paper at work is too thin.
> I am accustomed to folding so I have to become a scruncher for it to do an effective job or else my finger ruptures the paper. It is such a terrible thing to have to change ones habits. As far as I am concerned, scrunching is a terrible thing.
> I don't like toilets that have had other bums on them. As far as I am concerned, public toilets and work toilets are only for holding your breath whilst urinating in them.
> I try to only shit in my own nest but sometimes I get caught at work. Sometimes, if I can, I will hold it in all day so I can use my own toilet when I get home. Sometimes driving home is uncomfortable.



I have not laughed this much in years, my eyes are watering


----------



## rotten (14/6/12)

kirem said:


> I have not laughed this much in years, my eyes are watering





Can you type this, Ha Ha Ha, so true so true, + 12


----------



## freezkat (15/6/12)

rotten said:


> Can you type this, Ha Ha Ha, so true so true, + 12



I got really cold last night waiting in line to get the new iPad.

"I'm gonna kill whoever is watching youtube right now. You're making me lag on Call of Duty".



> Mom? Could you bring home some bottled water?
> 
> mumble mumble mumble
> 
> I don't like the tap water. It's kinda warm and you have to pour it in a glass.



Why do I have to fill out paperwork every time I go to the doctor?

We need a king sized bed so the dog has a place to sleep too.


----------



## petesbrew (15/6/12)

Doing an advanced search in the RecipeDB for an old recipe of mine.
search by name... some other dude's name is petesownbrew.
WTF?


----------



## bum (15/6/12)

Remember that night, long, long ago, when you met Merc's Own and you were both very drunk?


----------



## petesbrew (15/6/12)

oh shit.


----------



## bum (15/6/12)

It's not all that bad. He was quite the heart-throb back in the day.


----------



## Bribie G (15/6/12)

I hate those stupid people who go to ALDI and then hold me up because they haven't got a trolley. The idiot moronic fools think that you actually get charged $2 for the trolley so they wander around with armloads of stuff or little string bags and then at the checkout when the operator whooshes all the stuff at them they take ages to pick it up, then have to put it down again to get their wallet or purse. 

It should be like in Germany (I believe) - no trolley, no serve even if you are just buying a pack of blitz mints. 

Arseholes
Cretins


----------



## WarmBeer (19/6/12)

18.15 Gb, 2733 songs, on my hard drive, and I still can't find anything I want to listen to this morning.


----------



## bum (19/6/12)

Just put the decision in the hands of the shuffle gods.


----------



## WarmBeer (19/6/12)

bum said:


> Just put the decision in the hands of the shuffle gods.


Shuffle is for people who don't have Wiggles in their collections. Nothing ruins a groove like following Coltrane with "Fruit salad, yummy, yummy".


----------



## Dave70 (19/6/12)

Bribie G said:


> I hate those stupid people who go to ALDI



Like the store manager who waits until shoppers are queued to the ******* back wall before opening another register. 

I always like to use my big green Wollies bags when I go there just to let em know they aren't the only fucken game in town.


Ruthlessly efficient German multinational.
(don't mention the war..)


----------



## glenwal (19/6/12)

WarmBeer said:


> Shuffle is for people who don't have Wiggles in their collections. Nothing ruins a groove like following Coltrane with "Fruit salad, yummy, yummy".



Damn you - now i've got that damn song stuck in my head.


----------



## Airgead (19/6/12)

WarmBeer said:


> Shuffle is for people who don't have Wiggles in their collections. Nothing ruins a groove like following Coltrane with "Fruit salad, yummy, yummy".



I know your pain. I was happily shuffling along the other day when I found that my daughter had polluted my collection with the spice girls and sundry other rubbish.


----------



## Bribie G (19/6/12)

I had to go to the doctor to get a sick cert for work as I have a heavy cold. So the doc and medicare are abused by my employers just so the doc can sign a bit of paper and inform me, as we all know, that there's no cure for the common cold, meanwhile I've probably infected six people in waiting room and one of them will die. 

The newspapers fudge their circulation figures by delivering huge bales of papers to newsagents which then get returned. You should see the stack of bales outside just the Bribie Island newsagent waiting for pickup out on the footpath. I reckon far fewer people actually read papers than the publishers admit. What a criminal waste of resources, apparently papers are not very recyclable because of the newsprint. I think they should all go online, I'd pay $4 a week for access to a GOOD "paper", but I don't think they exist any more in Australia. 

And being first world of course we don't use them for wiping our bums anymore, although it used to be different growing up in "second world" Newcastle on Tyne after the war  

And no we didn't live in a bag in the middle of the road. 


Well not initially


----------



## pk.sax (19/6/12)

I gota blister from walking too much too fast


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (19/6/12)

What to cook for dinner......


----------



## winkle (19/6/12)

Arrrrghhh, I've run out of blue cheese, the supermarket/deli are closed and all I've got to get me through the evening is tasty cheddar, damn it to hell :angry:


----------



## spog (19/6/12)

malted,as for the finger rupturing the toilet paper i have some advice.......
for ****'s sake wipe man,wipe don't push....cheers.....spog.... 


Malted said:


> The toilet paper at work is too thin.
> I am accustomed to folding so I have to become a scruncher for it to do an effective job or else my finger ruptures the paper. It is such a terrible thing to have to change ones habits. As far as I am concerned, scrunching is a terrible thing.
> I don't like toilets that have had other bums on them. As far as I am concerned, public toilets and work toilets are only for holding your breath whilst urinating in them.
> I try to only shit in my own nest but sometimes I get caught at work. Sometimes, if I can, I will hold it in all day so I can use my own toilet when I get home. Sometimes driving home is uncomfortable.


----------



## Malted (19/6/12)

spog said:


> malted,as for the finger rupturing the toilet paper i have some advice.......
> for ****'s sake wipe man,wipe don't push....cheers.....spog....



:lol: 

I think consistency of the waste is a factor. Sometimes they just jump out and you run the paper around and say to yourself, did I really just let one rip? Other times you have to chase it around because it just won't go away.


----------



## Bribie G (20/6/12)

I'm sick with a cold, so is SWMBO. I'm on a low salt diet so I made myself a nice comfort food lamb neck chop Lancashire hot pot with just plain ingredients and some bunches of garden herbs, but she refuses to eat "convict stew" that contains parsnips, swedes etc so I made her a big batch of smoked bacon hock and split pea soup which is also a great comfort food when ill. 

I remembered I had some precooked lentils to use up so I chucked those in as well. On tasting half a teaspoon, yes it was salty but also chilli-hot. Oh dear then I remembered I had cooked the lentils with a heaped teaspoon of chilli flakes. 

SWMBO hates chilli. 


So I went back to the supermarket for another hock and made up a new batch of soup (doesn't take long in a pressure cooker) and I've packaged up the chilli version and I'll give it to a poor old pensioner who lives round the corner. 


(Actually he's my Bribie Drinking buddy and we are having much pisshab this afternoon anyway)


----------



## glenwal (22/6/12)

Currently sitting on a train thats stuck at a station because a door won't close, so now I'm gonna be late for work.At least the chick sitting opposite has a super short skirt and killer legs.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (22/6/12)

My ride-on mower does not have a stubby holder...


----------



## Liam_snorkel (22/6/12)

there must be somewhere you can zip-tie one to it


----------



## glenwal (22/6/12)

Can you fit a keg on it somewhere instead?


----------



## Malted (22/6/12)

I am all out of skilter today.

When the alarm went off this morning, I thought it was a Thursday so I hit the snooze button a few times. When I was later getting dressed to go to work I realised my stubble was a bit long and it must be a shaving day, ergo it must be Friday (I shave on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays). After a hasty shave and finishing getting ready for work I didn't have time for a dump before leaving home. I fear I am going to have to lay a cable at work.


----------



## Liam_snorkel (22/6/12)

Nothing better than getting paid to shit. 
I drop most of my stools at work to save paper at home.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (22/6/12)

I just steal the paper from work.....especially when it is that nice soft fluffy type paper...


----------



## bum (22/6/12)

Gonna be spending the arvo at White Rabbit but I have to drive all the way there first.


----------



## Gar (22/6/12)

Why is it, that every _staggeringly_ moronic imbecile I meet has a kid in tow.... can somebody please give me plans for a waist height device that I can use to irradiate these fuckers.




bum said:


> Gonna be spending the arvo at White Rabbit


Arsehole <_<


----------



## Malted (22/6/12)

What's with reading on the khazi? I don't get it.

If reading before depositing, why sit on the porcelain throne with your bare bum above a vessel of water? In tropical areas that just makes your butt and bits get humid and sweaty. In cooler regions it just makes you get a cold butt and bits. Is it the act of waiting for Mr Hankey to arrive? Why not wait somewhere more comfortable like on the couch watching TV, or reading a book there? Why not go to the porcelain throne when Mr Hankey's arrival is imminent?

If reading after Mr Hankey has arrived, do you wipe then read, or read then wipe? I really don't like sitting with traces of Mr Hankey about, it just goes cold and is not nice to smear around then. If you have cleaned up after Mr Hankey then read, well why sit around any longer? Your butt and bits will still get either humid and sweaty, or cold. Why the hell socialise with Mr Hankey? Heck you may as well take him for a drive and buy him a beer at the pub if you really want to socialise with him. 

So maybe you get the business done, make Mr Hankey a submariner, pull up your pants and wash your hands then sit atop the throne for some reading? Do you put the seat and the lid down, or just the seat? I find the lid buckles and seems like it might break if you sit upon it. So maybe you sit atop the seat with the lid up, with your pants on. Surely it would be a better environment sitting on the couch reading? Why read when there may be wafts of Mr Hankey's odour drifting about? Your couch shouldn't smell like shit, surely it would be a better place to read?

So maybe you spray a bit of air freshener, after Mr Hankey has taken the kamikaze speed slide round the s-bend, you've pulled your pants back up, washed your hands and sat atop the buckling throne bowl lid? So the smell puts you into the mental ambience of fresh rain in a pine forest and you're happily skipping through it until you're foot goes splat into a fresh turd; bears shit in the woods you know. You can't hide ambience de Hankey in a pine forest, you will find it. Damm, I don't want a forest like that. Why spoil the woods with odour de turd? Go and spray your couch with fresh rain in a pine forest smell if you like it so much. Similarly you've sprayed fresh flowers scent about the throne room and you're tip toeing through the tulips until you stumble into a field ditch of turbid, swampy, foul smelling ooze. No thanks I rather stop to smell the flowers whilst not being waste deep in putrid mud. Go spray your couch with flower scent if your granny has not already done so.

So maybe you strike a match to attempt to engulf odour de Hankey? No I don't want to sit around the sulphur pits of Beelzebub, with faint ambience de Hankey whilst reading a book, thank you very much! Where do you put the match? Near the source or further away? This one time at Uni, I saw a guy set fire to his pubes and they appear to burn quite voraciously, I wouldn't want the match too near my pubes just in case. Do you wave the match about or just hold it steady? How long do you let it burn for? What if you burn your fingers instead of your pubes? How do you stop it smoking when you blow it out? Do you lick your fingers before extinguishing it with your saliva. Do you want traces of Mr Hankey in your mouth? Should you wash your hands then strike the match? What if odour de Hankey has dispersed too much by then? No a match seems too complicated to me.

My Dad reads in the throne room. He often has some very interesting looking magazines in there such as the Top Gear magazines. I'd really like to have a look at some of them that appear on the cover to be highly appealing but just can't figure out how to go about it, comfortably. I also look at them wondering if they could have trace amounts of Mr Hankey on them or if by repeated exposure, that they have absorbed some ambience de Hankey. 

Maybe it is such a small room, in most situations, that it is one of the few places that you can be assured that the only person who will be in there is you? In this instance perhaps it is more the fortress of solitude and reflection rather than the throne room? Sitting and reading on the couch that smells like fresh rain in the pine forest might make you vulnerable to attacks of, "Whatya doin Daddy?" or, "Right if you're going to just sit around, why don't you do something useful like wash the car?" Perhaps ambience de Hankey is like a defensive aura? They won't trouble you in the fortress if they are worried about the threat of being engulfed by biological warfare. Ok, maybe this works so why not just drop a big fart on the couch? It would certainly be a more comfortable place to sit than the porcelain throne room. The kids will laugh at the rumble de Hankey at first but once it reaches their nostrils they'll skulk away, the wife will call you disgusting and storm away. However defensive aura de Hankey can be employed without him needing to visit. If you want to triple the effectiveness of the defensive aura de Hankey, feed your dog tinned cat food and sit reading your book nearby to it but don't blame it, take the credit yourself. The whole house could be your fortress of solitude and reflection then. 

My only conclusion is that those who read on the porcelain throne, or in the fortress of solitude and reflection, must be shit sniffers. Look I don't mean to judge and if that is what you like to do then so be it, I am just saying that shit sniffing is not for me and that I don't know how I could read on the khazi without doing so.


----------



## Dave70 (22/6/12)

Gar said:


> can somebody please give me plans for a waist height device that I can use to irradiate these fuckers.



da Vinci's got you covered.
You'll have to do the scaling yourself as I'm unsure what system of measurement they used in 14th century Italy. 
Though likely, far more advanced, less ridiculous and comedic than the imperial system at the time.

Oi guv, thats free kinderkins to hogshead innit? 

Isit?? I fort it wer fir-ey too pecks??...bloomin hell...


...**** me...


----------



## WarmBeer (22/6/12)

Somebody on an internet forum wrote too long a post, and my eyes can't be bothered reading it.


----------



## seamad (22/6/12)

My chooks have suddenly stopped laying in their nesting box and have chosen the most inaccessable part of the yard instead. Feckers


----------



## Malted (22/6/12)

I bought lunch from the bakery today. When walking back to work I passed some hungry looking pidgeons. They stalked me back to the office.


----------



## bum (22/6/12)

Drinking a dark ale right now. Keeping it on topic - no handpump today. BOO HOO! I guess i'll drown my sorrows sorrows with a Little Rabbit next.


----------



## bum (22/6/12)

IT WAS OVER CARBONATED FOR MY PREFERENCE!


----------



## bum (22/6/12)

I only just realised I responded to a post from the previous page.

INTERNET SHAME.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (22/6/12)

I have nothing to report.....that in itself is a problem


----------



## Florian (22/6/12)

Malted said:


> What's with reading on the khazi? I don't get it.
> 
> If reading before depositing, why sit on the porcelain throne with your bare bum above a vessel of water? In tropical areas that just makes your butt and bits get humid and sweaty. In cooler regions it just makes you get a cold butt and bits. Is it the act of waiting for Mr Hankey to arrive? Why not wait somewhere more comfortable like on the couch watching TV, or reading a book there? Why not go to the porcelain throne when Mr Hankey's arrival is imminent?
> 
> ...



Can't be bothered reading all of this now, will save it for when I'm on the toilet next time.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (22/6/12)

You sit on the toilet with your laptop......or do you just poo at your computer desk


----------



## bum (22/6/12)

^Sooo last century.

Who even uses computers any more?


----------



## DJR (22/6/12)

Malted said:


> What's with reading on the khazi? I don't get it.
> 
> ..... on and on....



tl;dr - shit


----------



## manticle (22/6/12)

WarmBeer said:


> Somebody on an internet forum.........



TLDR


----------



## pk.sax (22/6/12)

Nothing. Just nothing.


----------



## Gar (22/6/12)

Ducatiboy stu said:


> You sit on the toilet with your laptop......or do you just poo at your computer desk



Nothing wrong with pinching off some cable while talking to people, just ask the folks at the "over 50's resort"


----------



## Cocko (22/6/12)

My keezer is in a different room and I need to go through 2 doors to pour a beer...


----------



## bradsbrew (22/6/12)

Cocko said:


> My keezer is in a different room and I need to go through 2 doors to pour a beer...


I have to pour my beer into bigger glasses because the beer taps are downstairs.......


----------



## Cocko (22/6/12)

bradsbrew said:


> I have to pour my beer into bigger glasses because the beer taps are downstairs.......



My god man!

Damn this world!


----------



## rotten (22/6/12)

My keg fridge is in the cold shed. The last keg just blew. I have two fermentors chilling.

What to do?


----------



## Cocko (22/6/12)

Slit the wrist bro!

Down the street, not across the road..

Sorry but only option.


----------



## rotten (22/6/12)

I was thinking of filling a keg and force carbing, then drinking 15 mins later.

But I see your point :lol:


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (23/6/12)

I should be doing some mowing, but it is such a nice sunny day that I might have to resort to a few beers sitting on the verendah in the warm sun.


----------



## Bribie G (23/6/12)

I need to get a pair of spare specs so I can look for my regular specs which get mislaid frequently.


----------



## pk.sax (23/6/12)

I have 3 taps, the keezer can fit 5 kegs. I get lazy about brewing with all three taps on. Gah. To brew or not.


----------



## Clutch (23/6/12)

I just bought a Sabco and don't know what to do with my BIAB setup...


----------



## pk.sax (23/6/12)

Join Nick for a pot-head parade?


----------



## Bribie G (23/6/12)

Clutch said:


> I just bought a Sabco and don't know what to do with my BIAB setup...



I bet you bought Ross's didn't you. 


As new  

Well he's upsized as we all know


----------



## Bribie G (23/6/12)

It's cold and grey in Brisbane and my cheap fan heater is so noisy I can't hear my 50" Pana clearly on Foxtel , might have to go out and get a home theatre sound system out of my next Centrelink payment. 

Friggin cheap fan heaters.

edit: how are we poor people supposed to survive? Ok for you rich bastards with your reverse cycles. 
Hang on, gotta go and book a show on my IQ2 HD as I'll be doing a grass fed rib roast while the show is on. cya.


----------



## Clutch (23/6/12)

Speaking of meat.
I'm going to Hotel Bravo for steak tonight and I don't think they have any good beer.


----------



## manticle (23/6/12)

I hate my parents.


----------



## Cocko (23/6/12)

Went to get a beer and forgot to rinse my glass last night...

Now I have to wash it under my drinkable, water tap... THEN!

Got to my keezer and need to decide APA or pilsner?!?

When does it end!


----------



## jyo (23/6/12)

Cocko said:


> My keezer is in a different room and I need to go through 2 doors to pour a beer...




You can go _through_ doors...really Patrick? FFSC

Now all I can think of is the clay molding scene from ghost.


----------



## Cocko (23/6/12)

jyo said:


> You can go _through_ doors...really Patrick? FFSC
> 
> Now all I can think of is the clay molding scene from ghost.



Hom... sit behind me...

Also, Back OT, my internet was out for a bit - had to re-set my modem.... 

WTF! When does it end!


----------



## jyo (23/6/12)

Cocko said:


> Hom... sit behind me...
> 
> Also, Back OT, my internet was out for a bit - had to re-set my modem....
> 
> WTF! When does it end!



I feel for you, brother.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (24/6/12)

Life stops when the internet us down


----------



## Mud Gecko (24/6/12)

My first keg blew last night  Now I have to drink LCPA til my next brew has finished cc'ing...


----------



## Clutch (24/6/12)

My power bill will be a little larger next time.
Just picked up the fridge on the far left and the chesty on the far right, for free.


----------



## seamad (24/6/12)

Sitting in front of the fire with a nice rye ale, had leg of lamb for dinner cooked on the weber, kids are in bed...
****, cant think of any probs, does that count?


----------



## petesbrew (24/6/12)

Cheap bike racks + new fandangled kids bike frames = challenge.
Had to put them on, upside down, both at the same time, and as they were then top heavy, angle them so they didn't spin 180deg and take out my tailgate.

And my boadicea ale is throwing phenols at me. :angry:


----------



## rotten (24/6/12)

I say yes. For me it was fishing on the murray all day, come home to roast pork (it must be sunday) and are now drinking version 2 of my Kolsch using saaz.



:chug: :chug:


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (24/6/12)

seamad said:


> Sitting in front of the fire with a nice rye ale, had leg of lamb for dinner cooked on the weber, kids are in bed...
> ****, cant think of any probs, does that count?



Nope...

Did a leg of lamb weber style...with foie gras, swiss truffles and a Mot baste ..... damn truffles where a week old....must talk to my supplier and re enforce my desire for swiss truffles that are only 3-4 days old.


----------



## Cocko (24/6/12)

Had ot hit 'reply' button to type this, couldn't just type in...

FARK!


----------



## bum (25/6/12)

The left over Thai from last night has gotten significantly hotter and it was already tremendously firey. 

Now I have to wait for my lapsang souchong to cool before I drink it else my mouth with feel a fair amount of discomfort.


----------



## seamad (25/6/12)

Then the bum,bum. :lol:


----------



## petesbrew (25/6/12)

My takeaway viet grilled pork roll wasn't up to the usual standard today.
On the nice side of average.


----------



## kcurnow (25/6/12)

Liam_snorkel said:


> My beer is empty and I have to get up off my arse to fetch another.



you need one of these, http://www.metacafe.com/watch/yt-LDOLc08KT...ge_beer_cannon/
then the only problem is changing the beer selection to something good.


----------



## pk.sax (25/6/12)

It took me 3-4 days to realise the my l'itorous joke!

Can't tell exactly how long.


----------



## Bribie G (26/6/12)

practicalfool said:


> It took me 3-4 days to realise the my l'itorous joke!
> 
> Can't tell exactly how long.



Normally around a centimetre or two unless you are a female body builder on steroids when it can get a bit ugly.


----------



## pk.sax (26/6/12)

Today exercise lost out between badminton and beer in front of the TV... oh woe


----------



## mikec (27/6/12)

I was given a bottle of this:







But because I already had 5 other types of single malt in the liquor cabinet, it won't fit.


----------



## rotten (27/6/12)

It's cold in my shed and I have to brew.


----------



## Bribie G (28/6/12)

I love to eat third world recipes to keep my karma attuned with my poor brothers and sisters in the developing world. Had to drive fifty fricken km to find Collard Greens then when I had made the Moroccan green soup with the lamb meatballs all the dessert spoons were dirty and I had to wait till the dishwasher finished its cycle. So I went hungry for 25 minutes then discovered I was out of cous cous. Bugger.

Also the only oil I have left in the kitchen is extra virgin olive, so I'll need to go out and track down some Rice Bran Oil and Aldi had run out. Oh the misery of it all. 

<_<


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (28/6/12)

I am having a horror day... My adsl has gone down, and had to spend 2mins setting 3G phone as a WAP.

All this just to check the spot price of Swiss truffles.... Down to my last 4 truffles... :angry:


----------



## petesbrew (28/6/12)

Went for a few bbq shapes from the biscuit tin, but kept getting broken ones.


----------



## Bribie G (28/6/12)

Bugger, after a week of constant grey skies the sun has popped out for half an hour so I'll have to get off my arse and close the vertical drapes otherwise I can't see the computer screen properly.


----------



## Lord Raja Goomba I (28/6/12)

Got trapped in the lift at work last night for 1 1/2 hours. No phone, no wifi, nothing to do.


----------



## seamad (28/6/12)

Ducatiboy stu said:


> I am having a horror day... My adsl has gone down, and had to spend 2mins setting 3G phone as a WAP.
> 
> All this just to check the spot price of Swiss truffles.... Down to my last 4 truffles... :angry:



Wasting yourtime with those rubbish swiss ones . i insist my truffle buyer sources white italian truffles that have been sniffed out with pure bred black spanish pigs.


----------



## seamad (28/6/12)

Lord Raja Goomba I said:


> Got trapped in the lift at work last night for 1 1/2 hours. No phone, no wifi, nothing to do.


Obviously not stuck in the lift with some hot secretary


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (28/6/12)

seamad said:


> Wasting yourtime with those rubbish swiss ones . i insist my truffle buyer sources white italian truffles that have been sniffed out with pure bred black spanish pigs.


Ah yes, but these have been cleaned and prepared in the bossom's of young swiss virgins....


----------



## seamad (28/6/12)

Ducatiboy stu said:


> Ah yes, but these have been cleaned and prepared in the bossom's of young swiss virgins....


Got me on that one, but to celebrate truffle seaon my mates and i get togetherand shave truffles onto the bodies of young nubile nymphomaniacs...


----------



## leiothrix (28/6/12)

Ducatiboy stu said:


> Ah yes, but these have been cleaned and prepared in the bossom's of young swiss virgins....



Sounds good, but not sure how that really affects the flavour. Unless they've been to the gym or something so your truffles taste like stale sweat :icon_vomit:


----------



## Clutch (28/6/12)

"OMG they're charging for parking at Westfields, now what are me, Trinnae, Shawna and Jami-lee going to do instead of looking at Flatscreen TVs and Havianas we're never going to actually buy."

******* bogans.


----------



## Cocko (28/6/12)

Surfing porn and somehow a live cam window opened in the background, didn't know it had happened, it really slowed my internet speed...

:angry:


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (28/6/12)

leiothrix said:


> Sounds good, but not sure how that really affects the flavour. Unless they've been to the gym or something so your truffles taste like stale sweat :icon_vomit:



These virgins bath in warmed highland goats milk imported from Tibet and scrub using the finest soft sponges from Peru. They then rinse in the purest french mineral water that has been infussed with rose petals from the garden of the Palace of Versailles. They are then gently dried with the finest Egytpian cotton


----------



## glenwal (28/6/12)

Ducatiboy stu said:


> They are then gently dried with the finest Egytpian cotton


What sort of thread count are we talking?


----------



## Airgead (29/6/12)

Just discovered that the album I downloaded for free off torrent was encoded as a 128kbps mp3 and not a lossless format. I mean WTF! Who rips in a lossy format these days? Idiots. I'll have to find another copy now.


----------



## pk.sax (29/6/12)

Beer at 6C is way too cold. And also, I have to rinse out my taps before pouring because of all the midges coming in off the beach. Darn dry season problems.


----------



## petesbrew (29/6/12)

When are fischer price gonna come out with a smart phone? The buttons on my workphone are too tiny for my thumbs.


----------



## Gar (29/6/12)

Just sold my electric drum kit to pay for some still parts 

Looks like the G27 and some speakers are next in line too...


----------



## glenwal (29/6/12)

petesbrew said:


> When are fischer price gonna come out with a smart phone? The buttons on my workphone are too tiny for my thumbs.



Already out.

http://www.fisher-price.com/en_us/brands/b.../products/56698


----------



## petesbrew (29/6/12)

Glen W said:


> Already out.
> 
> http://www.fisher-price.com/en_us/brands/b.../products/56698


Legend.
Reckon it's got a silent function? I do enjoy Cityrail's new quiet carriages and wouldn't want to disturb the coasties.


----------



## punkin (29/6/12)

Gar said:


> Just sold my electric drum kit to pay for some still parts
> 
> Looks like the G27 and some speakers are next in line too...




Hope you are talking to us. :icon_cheers:


----------



## Gar (29/6/12)

I certainly am


----------



## rotten (30/6/12)

Cocko said:


> Surfing porn and somehow a live cam window opened in the background, didn't know it had happened, it really slowed my internet speed...
> 
> :angry:



Just close the farking thing man, sheesh, happens to redtube all the time h34r:


----------



## bum (30/6/12)

Why aren't you n00bs using Adblock Plus?


----------



## Clutch (1/7/12)

I surf porn with my own window open, just to let the neighbours know what I'm up to.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (1/7/12)

bum said:


> Why aren't you n00bs using Adblock Plus?



I'm a n00b and I do.... and no-script as well


----------



## Bribie G (1/7/12)

rotten said:


> Just close the farking thing man, sheesh, happens to redtube all the time h34r:



The cam "pop-unders" aren't too annoying, but I really hate the online casino windows that open. I think that offering gambling to someone is obscene, as opposed to wholesome porn.

I've run out of ghee and can't be bothered simmering up a new batch. I'll just get a gallon of canola from Aldi instead. Also my precooked cubed beef and stock are still frozen and I want to rustle up a Vindaloo NOW.


----------



## punkin (1/7/12)

Bribie G said:


> The cam "pop-unders" aren't too annoying, but I really hate the online casino windows that open. I think that offering gambling to someone is obscene, as opposed to wholesome porn.
> 
> I've run out of ghee and can't be bothered simmering up a new batch. I'll just get a gallon of canola from Aldi instead. Also my precooked cubed beef and stock are still frozen and I want to rustle up a Vindaloo NOW.



Why are you talking about ghee and canola oil in your post about porn...?

:icon_vomit:


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (1/7/12)

Do not speak ill of those things you have never tried


----------



## leiothrix (1/7/12)

Ducatiboy stu said:


> These virgins bath in warmed highland goats milk imported from Tibet and scrub using the finest soft sponges from Peru. They then rinse in the purest french mineral water that has been infussed with rose petals from the garden of the Palace of Versailles. They are then gently dried with the finest Egytpian cotton



So it does add no flavour to the truffles. Though if you get a DVD if this 'cleansing' process though it could be worth it


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (1/7/12)

They taste far superior to those that are done by young single mums covered in tatto's and smelling of VB and winnie reds,,,,


----------



## Malted (2/7/12)

punkin said:


> Why are you talking about ghee and canola oil in your post about porn...?



Hey what ever lube does it for him...


----------



## glenwal (2/7/12)

The lolly jar in my section at work is full of individually wrapped Kool Fruits - but the action of sliding over to the jar on my chair creates a static charge and causes the wrappers to get stuck to my fingers when I try to put them in the bin. I just went to drop on in the bin, but my hand got too close and 2 wrappers actually jumped out of the bin and onto my hand instead.


----------



## bum (2/7/12)

Ahaha.

Finally! Someone gets it!


----------



## petesbrew (2/7/12)

Glen W said:


> The lolly jar in my section at work is full of individually wrapped Kool Fruits - but the action of sliding over to the jar on my chair creates a static charge and causes the wrappers to get stuck to my fingers when I try to put them in the bin. I just went to drop on in the bin, but my hand got too close and 2 wrappers actually jumped out of the bin and onto my hand instead.


Head to repco or auto one and get one of those anti-static straps. That should sort it.
Get some Yosemite Sam "BACK OFF" mudflaps while you're at it.


----------



## petesbrew (2/7/12)

New paper towel dispensers throughout the office, (kitchen, kitchenette & bathrooms) to fit the new paper towels we're getting.

The paper still rips cos the dipshit cleaners manage to sqeeze 20,000 reams in at once.

I really hate it when the paper rips.
:angry:


----------



## stillscottish (2/7/12)

Sounds like you've got the same cleaners as me :lol: 
You'd think after seeing the confetti storm underneath the dispenser day after day after day they might figure out they have to put less in.


----------



## petesbrew (2/7/12)

stillscottish said:


> Sounds like you've got the same cleaners as me :lol:
> You'd think after seeing the confetti storm underneath the dispenser day after day after day they might figure out they have to put less in.


And they keep putting the rubbish bin right underneath the nearby hot air dryer, which is on a sensitive sensor, so as you're putting the above-mentioned scraps of paper in the bin, this thing kicks in and blows damp used papery confetti all over the place!
It's a fantastic source of entertainment when it happens to someone else...


----------



## petesbrew (2/7/12)

Takeaway containers don't hold up to the usual force applied to a fork.
Got french dressing all over my desk. <_<


----------



## Bizier (3/7/12)

petesbrew said:


> Got french dressing all over my desk. <_<


Is that a euphemism?


----------



## bum (3/7/12)

If it is he shouldn't be applying "usual force" to his "fork" at work.


----------



## petesbrew (3/7/12)

It's all good. there's a lot of shrubbery at my side of the office.


----------



## glenwal (3/7/12)

petesbrew said:


> It's all good. there's a lot of shrubbery at my side of the office.



Ni ni ni ni ni


----------



## Malted (3/7/12)

petesbrew said:


> It's all good. there's a lot of shrubbery at my side of the office.





Glen W said:


> Ni ni ni ni ni


Glen W - is this what you are on about?


----------



## glenwal (3/7/12)

Malted said:


> Glen W - is this what you are on about?


That is correct good sir.


----------



## bowie in space (14/7/12)

My airlock isn't bubbling


----------



## bowie in space (14/7/12)

This should top the lot.


----------



## Maheel (14/7/12)

I just had to spend 1 hour waiting in the emergency room at the RBH after i tried to cut my finger off with a hacksaw...

Then just as the nurse goes to get my free tetanus shot after free Xrays and free sorting of the wound some fool OD'ing vomits on the floor and they all rush over to help him and i have to wait some more. 

Free emergency medical help took the best part of 2 hours of my time FFS.

Luckily i can still pull the tap on my kegerator. 




*actually the service i got was great but i thought really good free medical help was a 1st world problem 
and there is something sexy about female nurses and doctors


----------



## Malted (14/7/12)

bowie in space said:


> My airlock isn't bubbling



Have you tried rousing the kitten?


----------



## Bribie G (15/7/12)

My cleaning lady is late turning up today (normally Monday but I'm going up the Coast for a few days from tomorrow) and I need some shirts put in the dryer so I'll have one dried and ironed for going to work this afternoon. 

Maybe I should just fish yesterday's out of the basket and spray it with Brut original?


----------



## TasChris (15/7/12)

Bribie G said:


> My cleaning lady is late turning up today (normally Monday but I'm going up the Coast for a few days from tomorrow) and I need some shirts put in the dryer so I'll have one dried and ironed for going to work this afternoon.
> 
> Maybe I should just fish yesterday's out of the basket and spray it with Brut original?


What.....your going to fish yesterday's cleaning lady out of the basket and spray with Brut?


----------



## Bribie G (16/7/12)

Yup she's still fresh enough, however the one from last week is already in the barrel in that bank vault I've rented.


----------



## petesbrew (16/7/12)

It puts the lotion on its skin!


----------



## Bribie G (16/7/12)

Fcucking resort is going to actually charge me to use their WiFi, and I can't go to Maccas and use theirs because they don't have anything cooked with rice bran oil that I require for my cholesterol lowering. Might cruise around and find someone's unsecured WiFi.

Hey bum would know this: does a smart phone (or oversized wannabe bogus smart phone like my device) have an IP address?


----------



## glenwal (16/7/12)

Bribie G said:


> Fcucking resort is going to actually charge me to use their WiFi, and I can't go to Maccas and use theirs because they don't have anything cooked with rice bran oil that I require for my cholesterol lowering. Might cruise around and find someone's unsecured WiFi.
> 
> Hey bum would know this: does a smart phone (or oversized wannabe bogus smart phone like my device) have an IP address?



You can always go and sit at maccas but not order anything.

Yep, your phone will have an IP address.


----------



## WarmBeer (16/7/12)

Bribie G said:


> Hey bum would know this: does a smart phone (or oversized wannabe bogus smart phone like my device) have an IP address?


Your phone may have many IP addresses, although only one at any one point in time.

When you connect to a new Wifi location, such as the previously mentioned non-rice-bran-oil-using Macca's, you "lease" a temporary, internal, IP address from the Wifi router.

All Wifi points connected to the router will have the same external IP address according to the internet, the router is smart enough to route messages to the correct smartphone/laptop/internet-enabled-whatnot based on the outgoing request. This is know as Network Address Translation (NAT).

Here endeth todays lesson.


----------



## Bribie G (16/7/12)

Thanks. So if I did a bank job and went to Maccas for a coffee (assuming they use Permeate-free milk) and set up a new hotmail account, then use this to email (from my smartphone) to my accomplice who is sitting on a wifi enabled train, would the police be able to retrieve this transaction?


----------



## WarmBeer (16/7/12)

Bribie G said:


> Thanks. So if I did a bank job and went to Maccas for a coffee (assuming they use Permeate-free milk) and set up a new hotmail account, then use this to email (from my smartphone) to my accomplice who is sitting on a wifi enabled train, would the police be able to retrieve this transaction?


Who is this?

I don't know anybody by the name of Bribie G.

Not guilty, your Honour.


----------



## bum (16/7/12)

WarmBeer said:


> Your phone may have many IP addresses, although only one at any one point in time.
> 
> When you connect to a new Wifi location, such as the previously mentioned non-rice-bran-oil-using Macca's, you "lease" a temporary, internal, IP address from the Wifi router.
> 
> ...


It will have a unique identifying address (MAC) which is what I suspect he is asking about. I know I'm not telling you anything new but it may help discourage Bribie from knocking over his local Spotlight with his phone. :blink:


----------



## glenwal (16/7/12)

Bribie G said:


> Thanks. So if I did a bank job and went to Maccas for a coffee (assuming they use Permeate-free milk) and set up a new hotmail account, then use this to email (from my smartphone) to my accomplice who is sitting on a wifi enabled train, would the police be able to retrieve this transaction?



Nope - because your phone doesn't "own" the IP address, it just leases it when you are connected, and there isn't any identifiable information about who is leasing it.

However - they would beable to pin point it back to the maccas and review the security camera footage.


----------



## WarmBeer (16/7/12)

bum said:


> It will have a unique identifying address (MAC) which is what I suspect he is asking about. I know I'm not telling you anything new but it may help discourage Bribie from knocking over his local Spotlight with his phone. :blink:



Not my own work, but a succinct summarisation:



whirlpool.net.au said:


> They can possibly see your IP address (unlikely to see the IP address of your PC if you're using NAT on your modem*, but likely to see the IP address assigned to your modem by your ISP).
> 
> They will not be able to see your MAC address*.
> 
> ...



So, no, Bribie, the Feds cannot (easily) track your smart phone if you keep hopping from Macca's to Macca's during your plans of Spotlight subversion.

Ethically, though, your nefarious activities will be spiking the cost of Swiss voile for all other homebrewers around the country


----------



## warra48 (16/7/12)

Bribie G said:


> My cleaning lady is late turning up today (normally Monday but I'm going up the Coast for a few days from tomorrow) and I need some shirts put in the dryer so I'll have one dried and ironed for going to work this afternoon.
> 
> Maybe I should just fish yesterday's out of the basket and spray it with Brut original?



Never mind all the niceties of laundry etc.

You need two piles at the foot of your bed. 

One is your "good" pile. You take stuff from that to wear.
When you're done, it goes on your "dirty"pile.
Then when your good pile runs out, your dirty pile turns onto your good pile, and you repeat the process! 
Easy !

Definitely Brut is the go.


----------



## Bizier (16/7/12)

Bribie G said:


> does a smart phone [...] have an IP address?


Is that some kind of high tech metaphysical questioning?

Ghost in the _Cell_ - get it? - bahhahaha!
OK, I have had my fun.


----------



## bum (16/7/12)

WarmBeer said:


> So, no, Bribie, the Feds cannot (easily) track your smart phone if you keep hopping from Macca's to Macca's during your plans of Spotlight subversion.
> 
> Ethically, though, your nefarious activities will be spiking the cost of Swiss voile for all other homebrewers around the country


You're forgetting that he is using public networks. They will roll on him before a warrant is required. Easily doable by law enforcement.

[EDIT: I'm fairly confident certain IPv6 implementations use MAC addresses as some sort of identifier too. We don't cover that in great detail because it is too hard to teach, apparently.]


----------



## leiothrix (16/7/12)

bum said:


> [EDIT: I'm fairly confident certain IPv6 implementations use MAC addresses as some sort of identifier too. We don't cover that in great detail because it is too hard to teach, apparently.]



That, and no one uses it so why bother


----------



## .DJ. (19/7/12)

Bought a 1/4 chicken and chips with gravy today. 
Paid the extra 40c to ge tthe wing/breast section
Get back to work...
Open it up...

What do I see?

THE FREAKING LEG!

Not happy!


----------



## Airgead (19/7/12)

.DJ. said:


> Bought a 1/4 chicken and chips with gravy today.
> Paid the extra 40c to ge tthe wing/breast section
> Get back to work...
> Open it up...
> ...



Simple solution is to man up and buy the half chicken. That way you get both.


----------



## glenwal (19/7/12)

Airgead said:


> Simple solution is to man up and buy the half chicken. That way you get both.



Not if they give you the back half.


----------



## .DJ. (19/7/12)

I dont want the leg and thigh... 

crap cricken that is... 

I paid my 40c... 

GIVE ME BREAST! ( . ) ( . )


----------



## Bribie G (19/7/12)

Last day of my holiday today, I ordered a full English Breakfast at Coffee Club - they asked if I wanted poached, scrambled or fried eggs. I specified fried. I got poached eggs. 
Chef was probably too busy browsing Facebook on his Smartphone. Prick.

Bacon was excellent, however.


----------



## .DJ. (19/7/12)

how hard is it... give us what we pay for...

Mmmm.. bacon... :icon_drool2:


----------



## Cocko (19/7/12)

.DJ. said:


> how hard is it... give us what we pay for...
> 
> Mmmm.. bacon... :icon_drool2:


----------



## Dave70 (19/7/12)

Been waiting to use this. 
Figure this about as 'in context' as it's gonna get.


----------



## Bribie G (19/7/12)

Haven't some people heard of changing their name by deed poll?


----------



## Dave70 (19/7/12)

Bribie G said:


> Haven't some people heard of changing their name by deed poll?



It's even spread to Linked in.

http://www.linkedin.com/pub/hugh-jass/7/624/5b7


----------



## Bribie G (19/7/12)

Hugh Jass has been officially replaced


----------



## Bribie G (19/7/12)

Anyway all that was off topic. This is the first world problems thread. And I'm pissed off. There's nothing on Foxtel, absolutely nothing I tell you. Fifty channels of crap and I'm going to have to watch a frickn Blu-Ray for heaven's sake. 

Oh the pain.


----------



## rotten (19/7/12)

After 10 years of foxtel I told them where to go a month ago. Now I'm watching Better Homes & Gardens. I don't know which is worse.
I miss the footy though


----------



## petesbrew (19/7/12)

Bribie G said:


> Anyway all that was off topic. This is the first world problems thread. And I'm pissed off. There's nothing on Foxtel, absolutely nothing I tell you. Fifty channels of crap and I'm going to have to watch a frickn Blu-Ray for heaven's sake.
> 
> Oh the pain.


hahaha, and you're paying for that shit.
My shit is free.


----------



## pk.sax (19/7/12)

I wonder what is better, getting shit for free or paying to be given shit!


----------



## pk.sax (19/7/12)

I need to bottle beer to take along camping. Oh the crime!


----------



## Bribie G (20/7/12)

The motor on my chocolate fountain has failed. What am I going to have for breakfast?


----------



## TasChris (20/7/12)

Bribie G said:


> The motor on my chocolate fountain has failed. What am I going to have for breakfast?


Brute smelling cleaning lady?


----------



## Dave70 (20/7/12)

My jumbo bag of honey glazed almonds 'may contain traces of nuts'.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (21/7/12)

My nuts have no traces of almond


----------



## drew9242 (21/7/12)

.DJ. said:


> I dont want the leg and thigh...
> 
> crap cricken that is...
> 
> ...



The thigh is the best part of a chicken. More flavours and doesn't dry out as quick. You get all the nice chicken juices. It's good that most people go for the breast though. Means I pay less for the best part IMO.


----------



## spog (21/7/12)

Drew9242 said:


> The thigh is the best part of a chicken. More flavours and doesn't dry out as quick. You get all the nice chicken juices. It's good that most people go for the breast though. Means I pay less for the best part IMO.



thighs,juices... B) ...errr..........cheers............spog........


----------



## drew9242 (21/7/12)

Trying to remember how to bottle beer after kegging for so long. I think this is going to be a long arvo.


----------



## Dave70 (23/7/12)

Ducatiboy stu said:


> My nuts have no traces of almond



Do they have a honey glaze?


----------



## glenwal (23/7/12)

Dave70 said:


> Do they have a honey glaze?



Ingredients: Salt, artificial honey roasting agent, crushed peanut sweepings.


----------



## sponge (23/7/12)

Drew9242 said:


> The thigh is the best part of a chicken. More flavours and doesn't dry out as quick. You get all the nice chicken juices. It's good that most people go for the breast though. Means I pay less for the best part IMO.



I agree. Thigh and legs are definintely the best parts on a chicken since the breasts dry out far too quickly and dont have near as much flavour as the leg cuts.

Grabbed some marylands for $1.50/kg over the weekend for a few mates that were coming around.

Cheap and delicious... hopefully people keep buying the breasts to keep these prices down, and doesn't go the same way as lamb shanks... ffs.


Sponge


----------



## sponge (23/7/12)

Glen W said:


> Ingredients: Salt, artificial honey roasting agent, crushed peanut sweepings.



AKA. lone star floor malted.


----------



## petesbrew (23/7/12)

Glen W said:


> Ingredients: Salt, artificial honey roasting agent, crushed peanut sweepings.


Twenty Dollars? Aw, but I wanted a peanut.


----------



## rotten (23/7/12)

Bluewaffle people, google it.


----------



## glenwal (23/7/12)




----------



## rotten (23/7/12)

rotten said:


> Bluewaffle people, google it.




*GOOGLE IT 
*


----------



## bum (23/7/12)

dasffs

Then mind-bleach.


----------



## Bizier (24/7/12)

AFDs are a suckhole stupid idea, even if every part of my body except my brain are all for it (and probably only a very small part of that - a part which I shall call the cervezabellum).

Simply put, life is better with beer than without it. No wonder the lack of beer in one's life makes people wear lycra and do all sorts of fruity shit like run on conveyor belts.


----------



## marksfish (24/7/12)

sponge said:


> I agree. Thigh and legs are definintely the best parts on a chicken since the breasts dry out far too quickly and dont have near as much flavour as the leg cuts.
> 
> Grabbed some marylands for $1.50/kg over the weekend for a few mates that were coming around.
> 
> ...



tell me about it lamb shanks used to be dirt cheap until the foodies discovered them.


----------



## manticle (24/7/12)

rotten said:


> *GOOGLE IT
> *




I googled it. Emetophilia is worse (especially since there seems to only be one [possibly] genuine BW photo circulating the internet).

Then there's always the old prolapse for shits and giggles.

I recommend not googling in front of your boss.

Or even looking. Go look at a flower or the riverside or somesuch.


----------



## bum (24/7/12)

manticle said:


> Go look at a flower or the riverside or somesuch.


Or throw a lemon party.


----------



## petesbrew (24/7/12)

marksfish said:


> tell me about it lamb shanks used to be dirt cheap until the foodies discovered them.


And why are lamb cutlets so expensive? We used to have em all the time when I was a kid. My mum's a stinge and she wouldn't pay what they're asking for them now.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (24/7/12)

2 girls 1 cup...

Dont google it.....you will never eat chocolate icecream ever again


----------



## WarmBeer (24/7/12)

My three-gee's aren't working properly, so I ca


----------



## Malted (24/7/12)

Glen W said:


> Ingredients: Salt, artificial honey roasting agent, crushed peanut sweepings.





sponge said:


> AKA. lone star floor malted.



Hey don't drag me into this!


----------



## bum (24/7/12)

Ducatiboy stu said:


> 2 girls 1 cup...
> 
> Dont google it.....you will never eat chocolate icecream ever again


SWAP.avi

Thank me later.

I have provided no direct to the material referenced. Seek it out at your own risk. NSFW/L.


----------



## WarmBeer (24/7/12)

bum said:


> SWAP.avi
> 
> Thank me later.
> 
> I have provided no direct to the material referenced. Seek it out at your own risk. NSFW/L.


What is seen cannot be unseen.

What is known cannot be unknown.


----------



## Liam_snorkel (24/7/12)

One guy, one jar.

:icon_cheers:


----------



## Clutch (24/7/12)

"It's devastating," Penn State freshman Gabby Collo said. "They are getting penalized for something that happened when they were 5 and 6 years old."

Poor choice of words there missy.

Penn State are definitely having first world problems.


----------



## Gar (24/7/12)

Liam_snorkel said:


> One guy, one jar.
> 
> :icon_cheers:



Damn you to hell.... Curiosity is a bitch....


----------



## browndog (24/7/12)

bum said:


> SWAP.avi
> 
> Thank me later.
> 
> I have provided no direct to the material referenced. Seek it out at your own risk. NSFW/L.



I wonder if they wash their hands after going to the bathroom...


----------



## bum (24/7/12)

Or behind their ears.


----------



## Bribie G (25/7/12)

petesbrew said:


> And why are lamb cutlets so expensive? We used to have em all the time when I was a kid. My mum's a stinge and she wouldn't pay what they're asking for them now.



Lamb is so expensive because they can't factory farm it (yet). Personally I prefer goat.

Dead goat that is. And not sprayed with Brut.


----------



## Bribie G (25/7/12)

I tried to phone Insurance line on thirteen eighty eight nye nee eight but I can't find the nye or nee keys on my keypad.


----------



## sponge (25/7/12)

Bribie G said:


> Lamb is so expensive because they can't factory farm it (yet). Personally I prefer goat.
> 
> Dead goat that is. And not sprayed with Brut.



I enjoy a nice floral goat...

But I have been buying a fair bit of goat as of late for use in (what used to be) lamb stews and the like.

Delicious sweet meat, and dirt cheap too.

Get a good few kilos of off cuts for around 10 bob from the local deli. 

Portion it and freeze.... delicious.


----------



## TasChris (25/7/12)

I killed one of our free range young rosters the other day and ate it.

I didn't like it, too gamey.

It seems I enjoy the antibiotic, hormonal blandness of commercial birds. 
I disappointed me.

Chris


----------



## sponge (25/7/12)

Dam all that flavour from a well fed, organic chicken who had a great life...


----------



## DUANNE (25/7/12)

Bribie G said:


> Lamb is so expensive because they can't factory farm it (yet). Personally I prefer goat.
> 
> Dead goat that is. And not sprayed with Brut.




i agree 100%. goat is so much cheaper and tastes a lot better than lamb and is finally becoming more availble in my area, why is it that you mention eating goat and poeple just cant come at it yet are happy to sit down and eat cute little lambs all day long?


----------



## browndog (25/7/12)

BEERHOG said:


> i agree 100%. goat is so much cheaper and tastes a lot better than lamb and is finally becoming more availble in my area, why is it that you mention eating goat and poeple just cant come at it yet are happy to sit down and eat cute little lambs all day long?



Goats have strange eyes...


----------



## Bizier (26/7/12)

Goats are just sheep that watch too much tv.


----------



## sponge (26/7/12)

They're almost as lazy as those so-called, koalas...


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (26/7/12)




----------



## WarmBeer (26/7/12)

Somebody on the internet is using rude words. And it's making me upset.


----------



## bum (26/7/12)

WarmBeer said:


> Somebody on the internet is using rude words. And it's making me upset.


Relax, don't worry and solve all your problems with the consumption of alcoholic beverages.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (26/7/12)

WarmBeer said:


> Somebody on the internet is using rude words. And it's making me upset.



Wait till you see the naked ladies doing excersises with each other... B)


----------



## Dave70 (26/7/12)

My toilet fresher is loosing it's aroma and no longer overpowers poo and wee smells.

I was thinking of replacing it with a hop sock stuffed full of POR.

Or would this make make matters worse?


----------



## sponge (26/7/12)

It'll depend on the vintage, and how it was stored...


----------



## bum (26/7/12)

Dave70 said:


> My toilet fresher is loosing it's aroma and no longer overpowers poo and wee smells.
> 
> I was thinking of replacing it with a hop sock stuffed full of POR.
> 
> Or would this make make matters worse?


You just made me snort through my nose like an angry bull in a busy library and now people are staring.


----------



## glenwal (26/7/12)

sponge said:


> It'll depend on the vintage, and how it was stored...



If its anything like dog poo, then storing your poo in the sun will turn it white and hard and will remove most of its aroma.


----------



## punkin (27/7/12)

My mate reckons women are like dog shit.

He says the older they get the easier they are to pick up :lol:


----------



## Bizier (27/7/12)

Dave70 said:


> My toilet fresher is loosing it's aroma and no longer overpowers poo and wee smells.
> 
> I was thinking of replacing it with a hop sock stuffed full of POR.
> 
> Or would this make make matters worse?


I would use Amarillo, definitely not Cluster.

Sierra Nevada toilets smell like hops, and I am not sure that I appreciate the psychological association. I still wish to enjoy US brown ale as a style.


----------



## .DJ. (27/7/12)

I was in the Qantas cub theother day at 10.30am...

Bar didnt open until 12.00 noon... NOON!!!

Not happy....


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (27/7/12)

I am at home...and Month Python aAnd now for something completley different is on ABC1

I might have to watch it.... B)


----------



## Dave70 (27/7/12)

Ducatiboy stu said:


> I am at home...and Month Python aAnd now for something completley different is on ABC1
> 
> I might have to watch it.... B)




There may be a few clangers amongst the gold, but lets face it, Python is to _avant garde _ comedy what Tony Iommi is to metal riffing.


----------



## sponge (27/7/12)

.DJ. said:


> I was in the Qantas cub theother day at 10.30am...
> 
> Bar didnt open until 12.00 noon... NOON!!!
> 
> Not happy....



When i was at the Sydney airport, I ordered a Fat Yak, and asked if I wanted ice with that...

It was a very depressing day to hear those words...



Ducatiboy stu said:


> I am at home...and Month Python aAnd now for something completley different is on ABC1
> 
> I might have to watch it.... B)



This doesnt really belong in the FWP thread :lol:


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (27/7/12)

Well i had a choice, and that I regard as a problem


----------



## Clutch (27/7/12)

I can't use my Sabco tomorrow because I can't find anywhere that sells tri-clamp gaskets.
******* Americans and their Imperial units of measurements. When are they going to get dragged out of the dark ages?


----------



## Cocko (27/7/12)

:icon_offtopic: 

Clutch, are you saying that rig, which looks awesome btw, does not come able to brew on?

You are groganing me?


----------



## Clutch (27/7/12)

The gaskets need replacing! It's used.


----------



## Cocko (27/7/12)

Clutch said:


> The gaskets need replacing! It's used.



So it back OT, I am a little mad just knowing that you can't brew on that beast!

:angry:


----------



## Bizier (27/7/12)

Dude, my first world problem is Sabco envy.

Get a bunch from Prochem for future.


----------



## petesbrew (28/7/12)

Sitting on the dunny, just trying to wind the date forward on my watch. Fumbled and it fell face first onto the tiles.
Now it's got all these cracks all over the face.
Pissed off.


----------



## Bribie G (28/7/12)

Paid for the Foxtel sports package so I could watch 8 channels of glorious High Definition Olympics coverage. 

Got up early (what's all that pink shit in the sky, are they trying to sell me something?) and turned it on, no opening ceremony. So now I've got to watch it on Channel Nein where it is a pixellated low definition fuzzy mess. And that was just the Queen's face. Oh the trials and tribulations. 

According to my DTV forum it's something to do with anti-syphoning whatever that is. I use an urn tap.


----------



## punkin (28/7/12)

Clutch said:


> I can't use my Sabco tomorrow because I can't find anywhere that sells tri-clamp gaskets.
> ******* Americans and their Imperial units of measurements. When are they going to get dragged out of the dark ages?



I have silicon triclamp gaskets.

Cheap too.


----------



## staggalee (28/7/12)

Bribie G said:


> Paid for the Foxtel sports package so I could watch 8 channels of glorious High Definition Olympics coverage.
> 
> Got up early (what's all that pink shit in the sky, are they trying to sell me something?) and turned it on, no opening ceremony. So now I've got to watch it on Channel Nein where it is a pixellated low definition fuzzy mess. And that was just the Queen's face. Oh the trials and tribulations.
> 
> According to my DTV forum it's something to do with anti-syphoning whatever that is. I use an urn tap.



Well I watched it on ch. 9 this morning at 5.30 a.m. at Palm Ave. not far from you and the picture was perfect.
p.s.......don`t buy number 23 from the noodle shop at the big shop. centre. They`re ******* woeful


----------



## browndog (28/7/12)

People who get in travelators and immediately stop walking thinking they are on some sort of free ride or something. If they are old, that's OK, as long as they have moved to the side to allow people with sense of purpose to get past them while they switch off.


----------



## petesbrew (30/7/12)

browndog said:


> People who get in travelators and immediately stop walking thinking they are on some sort of free ride or something. If they are old, that's OK, as long as they have moved to the side to allow people with sense of purpose to get past them while they switch off.


Easy. Walk up and stand right behind them... really close. really really close. It works most of the time.


----------



## sponge (30/7/12)

petesbrew said:


> Easy. Walk up and stand right behind them... really close. really really close. It works most of the time.



Sniff hair if need be...


----------



## Liam_snorkel (30/7/12)

Bribie G said:


> Got up early (what's all that pink shit in the sky, are they trying to sell me something?) and turned it on, no opening ceremony. So now I've got to watch it on Channel Nein where it is a pixellated low definition fuzzy mess


Can you pick up GEM at your place? It's high definition.


----------



## Bribie G (30/7/12)

No with my antenna stuffed I can get GEM only re-piped through Foxtel and it's only SD

However now the comps are on, I've got the 8 HD Foxtel channels and they are awesome.


----------



## Bribie G (1/8/12)

I'm having a late brekky with a couple of eggs, tomato and a Black Angus rump steak. I really wanted the rib fillet but I'm on Centrelink. Anyway I froze them in packs of 3 and it's taking forever for them to defrost in the microwave. Then I have to fry one. 

This is pissing me off as I'm really peckish , who do I sue?


----------



## petesbrew (1/8/12)

Bribie G said:


> I'm having a late brekky with a couple of eggs, tomato and a Black Angus rump steak. I really wanted the rib fillet but I'm on Centrelink. Anyway I froze them in packs of 3 and it's taking forever for them to defrost in the microwave. Then I have to fry one.
> 
> This is pissing me off as I'm really peckish , who do I sue?


Dunno, but call up Today Tonight.
And do be a sport and let us know when the episode's gonna be aired.


----------



## brettprevans (4/8/12)

Auto correct. Yeah ok I spell like Shit on the phone but when I type a specific correctly spelled.word on the phone I don't want u thinking u know better than me. 3 times today. I give up.


----------



## manticle (4/8/12)

People not knowing how to turn auto-correct off on their phone.
Cats miaowing after they've already eaten, done their business and have no cause for whinging.
Trying new commercial beer and finding it's shit.
Being expected to get sexy with a lady when you only had a pull 5 minutes ago.
Running out of marmalade


----------



## bum (4/8/12)

manticle said:


> Trying new commercial beer and finding it's shit.


'Sif that'd ever happen.


----------



## manticle (4/8/12)

I know. It strains the brain that one. Maybe I should suggest it as a 'what if?' essay topic for a senior high school philosophy class.


----------



## petesbrew (4/8/12)

Buy new dyson allergy model and it throws dust up the bloody wand.
Plus i've got dust all over my bloody jeans after i empty it in the bin.
Bloody.


----------



## bum (4/8/12)

Allergy model or low-allergy model?

Big difference.


----------



## brettprevans (4/8/12)

manticle said:


> Cats miaowing after they've already eaten, done their business and have no cause for whinging.


I know. Last two days.Fkn nothing but miaowing for no reason. Mind u the dogs have been getting me twice smoggy as well. Fkn all to the glue factory if they keep this up! Not but still a pita


----------



## manticle (4/8/12)

Cats are nice in an oatmeal stout stew


----------



## petesbrew (4/8/12)

bum said:


> Allergy model or low-allergy model?
> 
> Big difference.


Started it up to find out.
Dyson's are loud.
Kids now crying.
Wife not happy.
I'll check tomoz once I'm allowed back inside.


----------



## goomboogo (5/8/12)

bum said:


> Allergy model or low-allergy model?
> 
> Big difference.


Going by Pete's description, it sounds like the allergy model.


----------



## Bribie G (7/8/12)

My rotary nose hair trimmer has run out of power and I haven't got a AA battery in the house. I might have to go online and see if I can buy a rechargeable model.


----------



## Pollux (7/8/12)

Saved the school groundskeeper life yesterday (he had a cardiac arrest, I was second on scene and did CPR till the ambos showed), the P+C left a case of beer on my back porch as a thankyou, and it's Heineken.......


----------



## Ivan Other One (7/8/12)

My water filters are over-due for replacement,,,,


----------



## Ivan Other One (7/8/12)

SWMBO brought home some beef jerky that was not dry enough



Malted said:


> Indeed this may be a problem, perhaps it was Biltong? It could be easy to confuse the two...



A late reply, I know but it definately said Jerky on the pack,

Further investigation revealed that it was made in NZ.


----------



## Dave70 (7/8/12)

Ivan Other One said:


> View attachment 56316



Also works well with the 'BITCH, PLEASE' meme I believe.


And good on you Pollux, who said you couldn't put a price on someones life?


----------



## _HOME_BREW_WALLACE_ (7/8/12)

SWMBO and I performed "marital" duties last night after all kids unexpectantly requested to go to bed at 5.50pm. After my shower the bitch hadn't even cooked my dinner. WTF?


----------



## Bribie G (8/8/12)

Pollux said:


> Saved the school groundskeeper life yesterday (he had a cardiac arrest, I was second on scene and did CPR till the ambos showed), the P+C left a case of beer on my back porch as a thankyou, and it's Heineken.......



Well done Pollux - see that training at the Casino paid off (I would guess that's where you did first aid?) 

"Megaaaaa JACKpot" .... uuurrggghhhhhhhh B)


Edit: hey I see that Orange isn't too far from Welly where SWMBO has family - in my brain I'd always filed it as being out where Forbes actually is. If we do a bit of a progression out of Taree next year I'll have to look you up.


----------



## rotten (10/8/12)

Taking the boat fishing up river tomorrow and don't know whether to take one of mans best friends to keep it simple or take the two???


----------



## Gar (10/8/12)

rotten said:


> Taking the boat fishing up river tomorrow and don't know whether to take one of mans best friends to keep it simple or take the two???



Both


----------



## emnpaul (10/8/12)

Went to Warners At The Bay the ohther day to scout out some fine German Bockbier and noticed a German Club a few doors up, but didn't have time to go in. Mentioned this tasteful establishment to a work collegue the next day and he told me "They shut down due to lack of customers". 

Wifey and I could have gone a long way towards keeping them open, I'm sure. The tragedy. <_<


----------



## punkin (11/8/12)

I have read the entire internet and all the books and magazines in y house. There is nothing left to do to avoid doing things.


----------



## petesbrew (13/8/12)

Catching up with my wife's friends this weekend.
You know those people who watch telly but don't fix up the aspect ratio? And you say to them, "look I can fix it up, it'll only take me 10seconds", and they reply, "NAH IT'S WIDESCREEN IT'S MEANT TO LOOK LIKE THAT".
And your wife just says "shut up, leave it alone, it's not your problem".

Argh.


----------



## Bribie G (15/8/12)

Bribie G said:


> My rotary nose hair trimmer has run out of power and I haven't got a AA battery in the house. I might have to go online and see if I can buy a rechargeable model.



The new kit arrived and the nose hair trimmer STILL needs a AA.

Is there no end to the cruelty of the universe? Now I'll have to start the car just to go 300m to Woolworths then park then actually have to walk into the store and queue just to get a friggin Duracell. God this sux.


----------



## winkle (15/8/12)

Bribie G said:


> The new kit arrived and the nose hair trimmer STILL needs a AA.
> 
> Is there no end to the cruelty of the universe? Now I'll have to start the car just to go 300m to Woolworths then park then actually have to walk into the store and queue just to get a friggin Duracell. God this sux.



Just squirt this up each nostril
View attachment 56500

First world problem - meh


----------



## Clutch (15/8/12)

Spending four weeks in Europe in October and I don't know where to start or finish.


----------



## petesbrew (15/8/12)

Choosing awesome ringtone for phone.
By the time the wah wah starts in Spiderbait's "Monty", the phone goes to voicemail.


----------



## Clutch (15/8/12)

Delete voicemail.


----------



## Dave70 (15/8/12)

winkle said:


> Just squirt this up each nostril
> View attachment 56500
> 
> First world problem - meh



No. Don't. 
Use it as directed. 
Do not_ ever _be tempted to suddenly tidy up some - erm.. - 'problem areas'. 

..yeah...give it a miss...big time..


----------



## winkle (15/8/12)

Dave70 said:


> No. Don't.
> Use it as directed.
> Do not_ ever _be tempted to suddenly tidy up some - erm.. - 'problem areas'.
> 
> ..yeah...give it a miss...big time..


Yeah true, just take up a coke habit Bribie......


----------



## Barley Belly (15/8/12)

Bribie G said:


> The new kit arrived and the nose hair trimmer STILL needs a AA.
> 
> Is there no end to the cruelty of the universe? Now I'll have to start the car just to go 300m to Woolworths then park then actually have to walk into the store and queue just to get a friggin Duracell. God this sux.



Where'd ya get that from Taree G and how much did it set you back?


----------



## Ivan Other One (16/8/12)

The Honda needs a new tyre,, now lets see, Dunlop or Mitchelin???


----------



## sponge (16/8/12)

petesbrew said:


> Choosing awesome ringtone for phone.
> By the time the wah wah starts in Spiderbait's "Monty", the phone goes to voicemail.



Use a free sound editing software package.

I've had the same ringtone and msg tone for the last 4 years or so - since I prefer less-serious songs for my ringtones, much to the disgust of my mates and mrs. I took a few sections of a favourite bit of a song and made it into one 'new song' so to speak. That way you get the best bits in a short period of time. perfect for ring/msg tones.



Ivan Other One said:


> The Honda needs a new tyre,, now lets see, Dunlop or Mitchelin???



Michelin ftw. Been using them for many a year on my car.


----------



## Bribie G (16/8/12)

Barley Belly said:


> Where'd ya get that from Taree G and how much did it set you back?


Incentive scheme at work, you earn points for hitting KPIs etc and can cash them in on a website and they get couriered to you. I also ordered a Philishave and a couple of kitchen items. 
I've had a check around and you can get the full set with nose probe etc for about $50 online. 


On another subject:

My WiFi doesn't reach as far as the ensuite where I like to sit and check my messages. :angry: Roll on the NBN.


----------



## bum (16/8/12)

Will that make your router transmit a stronger signal over a longer range?


----------



## sponge (16/8/12)

I would've thought it would only increase the speed of downloads/uploads, and the router itself would determine the distance the wifi is accessible from?


----------



## Clutch (16/8/12)

Ivan Other One said:


> The Honda needs a new tyre,, now lets see, Dunlop or Mitchelin???




Michelin. Don't even bother with a Dumblop.


----------



## pk.sax (16/8/12)

I thoroughly enjoyed a nice cold VB today.


----------



## Ivan Other One (17/8/12)

Mitchelin it is then, Thanks Sponge and Clutch,

Servo's these days seem to have a tyre hose pump connector that is dead straight and these things just dont fit on the bikes front wheel without scratching the alloy so,,,,,, Will also have to get a rightangle valve this time,


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (17/8/12)

Yeah, that is a real pain, have the same prob with my Monster. I want to know why Ducati have right angle valves on some but not all models...


----------



## Clutch (17/8/12)

Something I've scratched my head (and Marchesinis) over quite a few times.


----------



## Bribie G (17/8/12)




----------



## Dave70 (17/8/12)

Ducatiboy stu said:


> Yeah, that is a real pain, have the same prob with my Monster. I want to know why Ducati have right angle valves on some but not all models...



Monsters always had a parts bin feel about them. 

I switched mine over at to right angle jobs at the first tyre change. If you squint you can see.
I swapped this bike for a brand new Multistrada at the time. Then sold it and bought a KTM. Decisions, decisions..


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (17/8/12)

Dave70 said:


> Monsters always had a parts bin feel about them.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


----------



## WarmBeer (17/8/12)

My first world problem:

This first world problem thread has been derailed.


----------



## pk.sax (17/8/12)

I was modded and didn't even realise it. Sigh.


----------



## Clutch (17/8/12)

> Well thats what they basically where when they started.
> 
> My bike actually has some parts stamped with the cagiva elephant logo...




The man speaks the truth.

The Ducati Monster was very nearly a Cagiva Monster




Back on topic: I've got an art exhibition to go to tonight and want to bottle beforehand, but have no time between making bolognese, bechamel and lasagne sheets from scratch.


----------



## bum (17/8/12)

Don't let the glitterati know that you're not only eating a peasant dish but you're also labouring in its construction yourself.


----------



## punkin (17/8/12)

Does no-one wear Pirellis anymore?


----------



## Ivan Other One (17/8/12)

punkin said:


> Does no-one wear Pirellis anymore?




Fly boys,,,,

Major first world prob,,,
It's friday night and I have a fridge full of beer varieties, but being on call for work, I just cant have any.


----------



## Liam_snorkel (17/8/12)

Dominos forgot to put cheese on one of the pizzas.


----------



## Cocko (17/8/12)

_Apparently..._

There are people in the world without smart phones!

WTF!


----------



## punkin (17/8/12)

Ivan Other One said:


> Fly boys,,,,
> 
> Major first world prob,,,
> It's friday night and I have a fridge full of beer varieties, but being on call for work, I just cant have any.




Could hardly call me a fly boy with a Rocker C :lol: :lol:


----------



## Clutch (18/8/12)

#firstworldproblems

I'm getting a .1 degree variance on my Brewmagic!


----------



## bum (18/8/12)

Clutch said:


> #firstworldproblems


Thread is already called First World Problems. You don't need to do this.

brb, going to make a post in WPMO about people who don't understand the difference between messageboards and microblogs.


----------



## Clutch (18/8/12)

bum said:


> brb, going to make a post in WPMO about people who don't understand the difference between messageboards and microblogs.




Bum later tonight:


----------



## Bizier (18/8/12)

I had reason to do an iodine test, it was starch negative, but I had to find the Betadine in order to do it.


----------



## bum (18/8/12)

Clutch said:


> Bum later tonight:


I accept your admission of wrongness.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (19/8/12)

Clutch said:


> #firstworldproblems
> 
> I'm getting a .1 degree variance on my Brewmagic!




Kill yourself. Kill yourself NOW. Your life is effectly over.


----------



## Ivan Other One (20/8/12)

Having to work for a living,,,,


----------



## Bribie G (20/8/12)

SWMBO is growling at me because I'm doing the washing up noisily and it's interfering with her watching Nat Geo program about the destruction of the habitat of the proboscis monkey in Borneo. It's a real pissoff because she always adjusts the volume on the Foxtel remote instead of the TV remote and I have to go back and recalibrate everything.


----------



## glenwal (20/8/12)

Bribie G said:


> SWMBO is growling at me because I'm doing the washing up noisily and it's interfering with her watching Nat Geo program about the destruction of the habitat of the proboscis monkey in Borneo. It's a real pissoff because she always adjusts the volume on the Foxtel remote instead of the TV remote and I have to go back and recalibrate everything.



The foxtel remote is actually (partially) programmable - you can program it so that the volume buttons on the foxtel remote will adjust the TV volume.
Instruction Manual

The feature you want is "Volume Direct"


----------



## Ivan Other One (21/8/12)

Still trying to find a politician worth voting for.


----------



## Bribie G (21/8/12)

Forgot to sprinkle the garam masala onto my Kashmir peasant curry, turned out not totally authentic. Not to worry, we weren't really hungry and there's heaps of leftovers, so I'll sprinkle it tomorrow, if we aren't eating at the RSL that is.


----------



## Clutch (21/8/12)

I went for years thinking garam masala was one spice.


----------



## Malted (21/8/12)

Ivan Other One said:


> Still trying to find a politician worth voting for.


Are you new to this game?


----------



## Liam_snorkel (21/8/12)

voting has always been a process of elimination in my experience.


----------



## glenwal (21/8/12)

Ivan Other One said:


> Still trying to find a politician worth voting for.



Clearly turd sandwich deserves your vote. I mean giant douche is, well, a douche.


----------



## Ivan Other One (22/8/12)

quote name='Glen W' post='946374' date='Aug 21 2012, 09:37 PM']Clearly turd sandwich deserves your vote. I mean giant douche is, well, a douche.[/quote]
Either one of these would well deserve my vote well before giving it to rAbbott or Gilltard.


Gees, talk about a tough crowd, anyone would think that i'd said that K&K brewing shits all over AG. 


Problem solved.


[


----------



## Airgead (22/8/12)

Stop choosing the lesser of two evils...


----------



## Malted (22/8/12)

Glen W said:


> Clearly turd sandwich deserves your vote. I mean giant douche is, well, a douche.


----------



## sponge (22/8/12)

Glen W said:


> Clearly turd sandwich deserves your vote. I mean giant douche is, well, a douche.



But you're a turd sandwich.


----------



## Ivan Other One (24/8/12)

Having to troll through seemingly enless numbers of threads to find the relevant information that one needs.


----------



## petesbrew (24/8/12)

Got parked in yesterday by some douche who left a good sized gap in front of him & the next driveway. :angry: 
Got out via the braille method. Tapping his bumper really calmed my mood.


----------



## Bribie G (24/8/12)

Bloody Medicare office is going cashless. Now I have to swipe my Visa Debit for an instant pay into my account, which means instead of rushing out there with a wad of notes I have to make a decision about whether I really need to walk over the road to 1st Choice Liquor. Bloody Nanny Society, what is the world coming to, controlling my mind like that. :angry:


----------



## Liam_snorkel (24/8/12)

Out of gas on a Friday.


----------



## Ivan Other One (25/8/12)

Broke my little digital camera a 5 magapixel job ,6 years old, rang up the camera shop to be told that it's far cheeper to buy a new one then to buy the part needed,(Display screen) to fix the old one and that I could get a 14 megapixel camare for half the price that i'd paid for the old one.


----------



## pk.sax (25/8/12)

Fwp: your sig has spelling problems.


----------



## jyo (25/8/12)

My back is rooted atm, so no brewing this weekend, though I can't decide whether to have panadeine forte or tramadol for the pain.


----------



## goomboogo (25/8/12)

Tramal FTW.


----------



## browndog (25/8/12)

Oxycontin ..........yayyyyyyyyyyyy..............................


----------



## jyo (25/8/12)

browndog said:


> Oxycontin ..........yayyyyyyyyyyyy..............................




Who am I?


----------



## petesbrew (25/8/12)

Ivan Other One said:


> Broke my little digital camera a 5 magapixel job ,6 years old, rang up the camera shop to be told that it's far cheeper to buy a new one then to buy the part needed,(Display screen) to fix the old one and that I could get a 14 megapixel camare for half the price that i'd paid for the old one.


6 years is a pretty good life. We're up to camera 4.


----------



## browndog (25/8/12)

jyo said:


> Who am I?




A Chemist?


----------



## bum (25/8/12)

jyo said:


> Who am I?


You Jason?


----------



## Ivan Other One (26/8/12)

petesbrew said:


> 6 years is a pretty good life. We're up to camera 4.



Far out, when it come to most gadgets , it sure is a throw away world these days.

Don't suppose you still have the non working ones? I am lookin for the lcd display screen for a Cannon Powershot A460 Will pay postage to Townsville.


----------



## petesbrew (26/8/12)

Ivan Other One said:


> Far out, when it come to most gadgets , it sure is a throw away world these days.
> 
> Don't suppose you still have the non working ones? I am lookin for the lcd display screen for a Cannon Powershot A460 Will pay postage to Townsville.


Lol, Nope. Although camera one was a canon 520.
Camera 2 a panasonic got a cracked screen & started playing up.
We bought a samsung to replace it but it was a piece of crap. Now back to another Panasonic Lumix. Awesome point & shoot cameras IMO.

Back to your problem, you've still got a view finder. You can relive the magic of the film days. Not knowing what your photos are like till you download them to the pc.
Ah the nostalgia.


----------



## glenwal (26/8/12)

Ivan Other One said:


> Don't suppose you still have the non working ones? I am lookin for the lcd display screen for a Cannon Powershot A460 Will pay postage to Townsville.



ebay: http://www.ebay.com.au/itm/LCD-Canon-Power...=item2a21c7a404

$12.26 with free postage


----------



## Bribie G (26/8/12)

I'm sitting on a Brisbane train for an hour with nice fast wifi and Can't think of any sites I would like to browse.


----------



## Ivan Other One (26/8/12)

Glen W said:


> ebay: http://www.ebay.com.au/itm/LCD-Canon-Power...=item2a21c7a404
> 
> $12.26 with free postage




Thanks, Greatly appreciate this Glen, 
My unit has a back light (it's another strip that is soldered to the three solder bits on the strip in the pic, but after searching this site, can't seem to find it.
Might just bin it and fork out for a newbie, can get a 12 or 14 megapixel job for about $100. saves a lot of muckin around.
Cherers anyway.


----------



## petesbrew (27/8/12)

Ivan Other One said:


> Thanks, Greatly appreciate this Glen,
> My unit has a back light (it's another strip that is soldered to the three solder bits on the strip in the pic, but after searching this site, can't seem to find it.
> Might just bin it and fork out for a newbie, can get a 12 or 14 megapixel job for about $100. saves a lot of muckin around.
> Cherers anyway.


You gotta love ebay for sourcing parts for old stuff.
Got a 5 yr old Non-ipod mp3 player which I've given a new lease of life with a battery replacement.
Also seen some hdd replacements for it - upping it from 30gb to 200ish gb is kinda tempting.


----------



## petesbrew (27/8/12)

Only had 2 bits of leftover bbq'd haloumi for my salad this morning.


----------



## sponge (27/8/12)

Back in the office after a week down in Adelaide for commissioning... I had never been down there before, but am thoroughly impressed by it. Very relaxed, no highrise buildings everywhere, well structured. 

It may just be my new favourite major city... behind melbourne.. ^_^


----------



## Ivan Other One (29/8/12)

Ivan Other One said:


> Broke my little digital camera a 5 magapixel job ,6 years old, rang up the camera shop to be told that it's far cheeper to buy a new one then to buy the part needed,(Display screen) to fix the old one and that I could get a 14 megapixel camare for half the price that i'd paid for the old one.




After all the muckin about, I managed to spill a near full glass of stout all over the camera that was in bits on the table. Will have to get a new one now.
Funny thing is, I feel more pissed off about wasting a good stout than I do about the camera.the camera.


----------



## pk.sax (30/8/12)

It's NOT Karma Sutra!!!!


----------



## Bribie G (30/8/12)

Sitting at the doctors for an hour waiting, bastards wouldn't tell me what their WiFi password was so I could surf the net while I was waiting.


----------



## Ivan Other One (30/8/12)

practicalfool said:


> It's NOT Karma Sutra!!!!



It was Camera Karma.


----------



## Liam_snorkel (31/8/12)

FWP: Scored a corporate box ticket to the broncos/panthers game tonight, but it's with SWMBO's mother. 
Do I stay at the brewhouse all afternoon & get well pissed, or go home after a few, sober up, & put on a good show for the future mother in-law?


----------



## bum (31/8/12)

Liam_snorkel said:


> FWP: Scored a corporate box ticket to the broncos/panthers game tonight, but it's with SWMBO's mother.
> Do I stay at the brewhouse all afternoon & get well pissed, or go home after a few, sober up, & put on a good show for the future mother in-law?


Depends - have you already made yourself a bed to lie in previously? If you're not on the shit-list yet then I see no reason to change that any time soon. Plenty of time for that to happen...


----------



## .DJ. (31/8/12)

Liam_snorkel said:


> FWP: Scored a corporate box ticket to the broncos/panthers game tonight, but it's with SWMBO's mother.
> Do I stay at the brewhouse all afternoon & get well pissed, or go home after a few, sober up, & put on a good show for the future mother in-law?



I say "stay at the brewhouse all afternoon & get well pissed AND then go to the game!"


----------



## browndog (31/8/12)

I am one of the many non-Broncos rubgy league supporters in SE QLD. We suffer for our soup in that we have the Broncos rammed down our throats by not only the telecaster channel 9 but 10 and 7 too. Tonight the parochialism reached new heights on the channel 7 sports report when they focussed for so long on how the Broncos needed to win the game tonight that they didn't even bother to mention the team they were playing. Somewhat peeved, I turned the game on only to find some lowlife yobs totally disrespecting the minutes silence for the five Diggers we just lost. The TV then was turned off, no footie tonight.

-BD


----------



## Liam_snorkel (1/9/12)

Yeah, out of the 34000 people at the game there were maybe 2-3 dickeads yelling out. 

The game itself was a bit lacklustre so you didn't miss much. I took DJ's advice and got spannered anyway. Yiew


----------



## Clutch (2/9/12)

Liam_snorkel said:


> I took DJ's advice and got spannered anyway. Yiew



This is why we need a "Like" or "Favourite" button.


----------



## Ivan Other One (3/9/12)

Clutch said:


> This is why we need a "Like" or "Favourite" button.



This may be worthy to post in the Wpmo thread,


----------



## bum (3/9/12)

Already been mentioned as a feature of the long-promised forum upgrade.


----------



## Bribie G (13/9/12)

When I'm on the Centrelink site and it says "if this does not take you to the required document / page etc within 10 seconds, click here". 
I'm never sure whether clicking on the button actually assists Centrelink or if they take it as a criticism of their service and record a black mark against my account.


----------



## wbosher (13/9/12)

Was sitting here at work with a mouthful of leftover roast lamb sandwich, and something in the thread made me laugh through my nose.

Now I'm sitting here with snot hanging from my nose all the way down to my keyboard and no tissues...and now it's all over my fingers and pants.

Aaaarrrggghhh


----------



## petesbrew (13/9/12)

Present buying for my wife. :angry:


----------



## sponge (13/9/12)

wbosher said:


> Was sitting here at work with a mouthful of leftover roast lamb sandwich, and something in the thread made me laugh through my nose.
> 
> Now I'm sitting here with snot hanging from my nose all the way down to my keyboard and no tissues...and now it's all over my fingers and pants.
> 
> Aaaarrrggghhh



Sounds a little more painful than just having milk go through the nose from laughing...


----------



## Dave70 (14/9/12)

If the current spate of high profile internet trolling isn't the epitome of a first world problem, I don''t know what is. 

Since I possess no account on twitt-book, and unless under pain of death, never will, I have to settle for the more traditional method of driving past people on the street and bellowing obscenities from my car.


----------



## sponge (14/9/12)

Hopper/mill tipping over whilst cracking some grains...

<_<


----------



## Bribie G (14/9/12)

I'm moving house, the owners of the Thai restaurant just round the corner are interested in taking over the lease so I agreed with the agents that they could come round for a look and ignore the mess / packing etc. 

Nice looking Thai couple with a little baby girl so I thought I'd show how hospitable Aussies are to our beloved SE Asian cousins and I gave them the palms together and nod and big smile. 

They looked at me like I was a ******* idiot. 


Maybe that's what you are supposed do to Indians not Thais?? :huh:


----------



## sponge (14/9/12)

Bribie G said:


> I'm moving house, the owners of the Thai restaurant just round the corner are interested in taking over the lease so I agreed with the agents that they could come round for a look and ignore the mess / packing etc.
> 
> Nice looking Thai couple with a little baby girl so I thought I'd show how hospitable Aussies are to our beloved SE Asian cousins and I gave them the palms together and nod and big smile.
> 
> ...



That story has just made my afternoon.

Thank you, good sir.

Hopefully it all (re: the move) works out for you none the less though.


----------



## Dave70 (14/9/12)

Bribie G said:


> They looked at me like I was a ******* idiot.



That''s cos you didin't give it a bit of the old _Kob-jai_ Heavy on the nasilly _jaaaaaiiii_.

My missus taught kiddies on Ko Samui for a month recons and if you don't put a Stevie Nicks like nasal inflection on your Thai-speak, forget it.



Or perhaps they just thought you were taking the piss..


----------



## Bribie G (14/9/12)

Thanks guys, there's a Thai Restaurant at Old Bar so with a bit of luck I'll keep out of trouble. 

Have you noticed that Thai restaurants are run by Thais, Indian Restaurants are rotten with Punjabis etc but I've yet to see a Mexican restaurant with Mexicans there.


----------



## bigandhairy (14/9/12)

Went to get a spoon out of the drawer in the workplace lunchroom only to find that some fucker had mixed the spoons with the forks. Took a punt and grabbed one only to find out that I'd picked up a fork... A ******* fork, to eat my porridge..a FORK!!! Worst day ever.....

bah


----------



## _HOME_BREW_WALLACE_ (14/9/12)

I pierced that little bit of skin between the thumb and the index finger with a scriber this morning while i was trying to remove a rod seal from a hydraulic cylinder gland **** it hurt. I hate working for a living. Its so tiring and time-consuming.........


----------



## wbosher (16/9/12)

I burnt the roof of my mouth with the cheese on a very hot pizza. Had to rush to the fridge to get a cold beer to make it feel better.


----------



## Bribie G (17/9/12)

I've got a painful knee (bursitis) that makes it hard to walk at the moment so I drove round to my mate's place and then drove him to Liquorland to to get me a slab of Henninger. Bastard came round later and drank a six pack of it <_<


----------



## Dave70 (17/9/12)

Bribie G said:


> I've got a painful knee (bursitis) that makes it hard to walk at the moment



Housemaid's or clergyman's? 

Either way, get some rest and fish oil about you. Anti inflammatory you know. Obviously the fish oil from a generous plate of _otoro sushi _ would be ideal.


----------



## Ivan Other One (18/9/12)

Even with todays hi-tec Slo-Mo video replays, the video refs still can't come up with the right decisions.

Cowboys ripped off yet again. :angry:


----------



## WarmBeer (26/9/12)

My fresh orange has too much pith.


----------



## Dave70 (26/9/12)

My gourmet pie's pastry is to flaky and the chunks of steak threaten to break through.


----------



## Ivan Other One (26/9/12)

WarmBeer said:


> My fresh orange has too much pith.




I get really pithed off about this too.


----------



## Bribie G (27/9/12)

I started to polish my car late yesterday afternoon so the sun wasn't on it, but it got dark too quickly and I could only do half of it. I got up this morning to to the other half but by that time the morning sun was on it and I couldn't be arsed to drive it out and reverse back in so I'll leave it till this afternoon. My garage if full of boxes and shit for the house move so I can't park in there. It's a tough life on Centrelink.


----------



## wbosher (27/9/12)

You polish your car?! Mine has a nice protective coating of grime on it. :lol:


----------



## Ivan Other One (27/9/12)

Just priced a new tyre for the motorcycle, If only they could throw in a new bike.


----------



## sponge (27/9/12)

And I complain about the price of guitar gear... 

Every time one of my motorbike/car mates tell me how much they spend on their hobbies, i feel a little better about the splurging...


----------



## stillscottish (5/10/12)

Theres no free wifi on this shitty old Shornecliffe train :-(


----------



## Bribie G (5/10/12)

If there was then porn is filtered out anyway.


----------



## jyo (15/10/12)

My lunch at the pub today was far too big. I mean _ridiculously_ large.


----------



## Malted (16/10/12)

jyo said:


> My lunch at the pub today was far too big. I mean _ridiculously_ large.



Hide the bits you don't like or couldn't finish, underneath the triminings from your steak - this way it appears as though you have eaten more than you have.


----------



## petesbrew (20/10/12)

Walked to station, opened wallet & realised wife borrowed my weekly ticket. :angry:


----------



## Bribie G (21/10/12)

Moved to this lovely little Mid North Coast seaside village for some peace and quiet and it's all turned to crap. Every morning the birds start up then it's cheep, squawk, chirp with lorikeets hanging round the trees and honeyeaters infesting the place. Then at dusk the bastards finally shut up and all you can hear is the constant pounding of the surf on the beach nearby. Roar roar fecking roar. <_< 

At least on Bribie Island you would get a few ambulance sirens or fire engines heading for an arson attack, or more likely some bogans brawling in the gutter on their way back from the pub then it was over after a few minutes, but this is non stop. 

And they wonder why I drink. Fortunately the bottle shop round the corner has a good selection of craft beers such as White Rabbit etc and is open till 9 every night so there's some consolation.


----------



## pk.sax (21/10/12)

Commiserations. I'm quite enjoying the noise of Brisbane after the deathly quiet of Cairns.

Ate the best ever Indian food in Australia to date at the myer centre foodcourt. Fuckin delicious food. Great beer at the beer garden in the middle of the mall!

The serve of rice was tiny though


----------



## petesbrew (21/10/12)

Bribie G said:


> Moved to this lovely little Mid North Coast seaside village for some peace and quiet and it's all turned to crap. Every morning the birds start up then it's cheep, squawk, chirp with lorikeets hanging round the trees and honeyeaters infesting the place. Then at dusk the bastards finally shut up and all you can hear is the constant pounding of the surf on the beach nearby. Roar roar fecking roar. <_<
> 
> At least on Bribie Island you would get a few ambulance sirens or fire engines heading for an arson attack, or more likely some bogans brawling in the gutter on their way back from the pub then it was over after a few minutes, but this is non stop.
> 
> And they wonder why I drink. Fortunately the bottle shop round the corner has a good selection of craft beers such as White Rabbit etc and is open till 9 every night so there's some consolation.


Feckin' surf beaches. Kill's a good nights sleep when you go camping. I hang to get home, and doze off to the dulcet tones of my neighbour screaming at her husband in Chinese. Even if you have trouble sleeping, it's great, cos she can go on for hours.


----------



## freezkat (24/10/12)

It drives me crazy when I'm trying to break skip on my 11M 2-way on 27.385 LSB and the West coast of North America wont shut up and let me call Australia from Minnesota. Don't they know I'm running out of Sun!!!

2 CDX 068, operator *Bob,* Bravo Oscar Bravo, 18 watt President Washington, Astatic D104 with Tug-8 amplified base, 5/8 wave groundplane mounted appx 11M off the dirt, I am 285M over sea level, 80KM North of Minneapolis 

I give you the final and I will be QSX


----------



## Ivan Other One (25/10/12)

freezkat said:


> It drives me crazy when I'm trying to break skip on my 11M 2-way on 27.385 LSB and the West coast of North America wont shut up and let me call Australia from Minnesota. Don't they know I'm running out of Sun!!!
> 
> 2 CDX 068, operator *Bob,* Bravo Oscar Bravo, 18 watt President Washington, Astatic D104 with Tug-8 amplified base, 5/8 wave groundplane mounted appx 11M off the dirt, I am 285M over sea level, 80KM North of Minneapolis
> 
> I give you the final and I will be QSX



Sounds like you could do with a big 7 element beam and whack a 500 watt linear amp in line. But even that won't stop the bloody jabber jaws in the states ravin' on about their trailer park kids. 

997, out.


----------



## Bizier (25/10/12)

I have first world guilt over the oceanic garbage patches.


----------



## freezkat (25/10/12)

Ivan Other One said:


> Sounds like you could do with a big 7 element beam and whack a 500 watt linear amp in line. But even that won't stop the bloody jabber jaws in the states ravin' on about their trailer park kids.
> 
> 997, out.



I'll see you Ivan at 0800 your time soon...name the freq...not 27.385 LSB


----------



## bum (29/10/12)

I want to listen to the Sweet Brown remix but my headphones are in another room.

I could go get them but ain't nobody got time for dat.


----------



## petesbrew (29/10/12)

The leads on my trusty sony headphones are now rather crackly and work won't give me the petty cash for a new pair.


----------



## Dave70 (30/10/12)

My new _MOTOROLA_ defy makes my ear sweat.
Yeah, its water resistant, but that's not the fcukin point.


----------



## punkin (30/10/12)

Dave70 said:


> My new _MOTOROLA_ defy makes my ear sweat.
> Yeah, its water resistant, but that's not the fcukin point.



And you can't read it in the sun.


----------



## rotten (30/10/12)

I actually like the Gage road atomic pale ale but don't have all the hops required to brew a replica of sorts this week


edit: wrong farkin brewery


----------



## Bribie G (31/10/12)

My GPS took me to Betta Electrical to buy a new fridge, parked the car, it said walk 55m, Streetview shows the store but when I got there it was an empty building with a for lease sign. So I then had to walk an entire block to Bing Lee instead. Then I ran out of battery but eventually remembered where I had parked the car so didn't need the GPS to tell me how to walk back there.


----------



## Malted (31/10/12)

Bribie G said:


> My GPS took me to Betta Electrical to buy a new fridge, parked the car, it said walk 55m, Streetview shows the store but when I got there it was an empty building with a for lease sign. So I then had to walk an entire block to Bing Lee instead. Then I ran out of battery but eventually remembered where I had parked the car so didn't need the GPS to tell me how to walk back there.



You need to get back into shape (but yes, round is a shape). After walking 55m + a block you ran out of battery? You need to exercise more.


----------



## Bribie G (31/10/12)

No, ran out of battery on my Samsung Galaxy so I became invisible to the GPS satellite system. However the panic was short lived. :huh:


----------



## sponge (1/11/12)

Bribie G said:


> No, ran out of battery on my Samsung Galaxy so I became invisible to the GPS satellite system. However the panic was short lived. :huh:



They can still see you if you're not wearing a tin foil hat h34r:


----------



## Malted (1/11/12)

sponge said:


> They can still see you if you're not wearing a tin foil hat h34r:



They probably know what you bought too. You're never invisible.


----------



## Bribie G (5/11/12)

Had to lodge some forms at Centrelink in Taree today but my new 42" (small one for the guest bedroom) full HD dynamic LED TV was due to arrive on the courier and I had to hang around for it. Thankfully they arrived in time for me to dash into town to avoid getting breached. Life is bloody hard here in the lower socioeconomic strata, make no mistake. 

And I was so rushed I forgot to pick up an HDMI cable for the new Blu-ray.


----------



## Malted (5/11/12)

Bribie G said:


> Thankfully they arrived in time for me to dash into town to avoid getting breached.



Stop dropping your strides in public. Dropping strides = high probability of being breached and diminished capacity to run away.


----------



## TasChris (10/11/12)

My wife broke the beaters on an old Sunbeam Mixmaster circa 1950/60's, bloody new age crap .. The don't make things like they used to in the 1920's, Fancy a rivet rusting out after 50 odd years

Cheers
Chris


----------



## pk.sax (11/11/12)

The jar of pickles was shut too tight. Had to cut it open. I smell of pickles now. Will have to shower.


----------



## Bribie G (11/11/12)

Just had a shower and now I need to do a poop.


----------



## GuyQLD (11/11/12)

My new CB Biab is not as good as my old Voile bag.. and I only bought it because it was bigger and it got me the tasting session. Think I'll have to go to spotlight and get a bigger piece of voile.


----------



## punkin (23/11/12)

Nice day and had the morning off. had to decide between kegging a couple kegs of Golden Ale (i'm running out of beer  ) or taking the harley for a putt.






OutsideBeatInsidePunkin


----------



## mwd (23/11/12)

practicalfool said:


> The jar of pickles was shut too tight. Had to cut it open. I smell of pickles now. Will have to shower.




Know what you mean takes the strength of Garth to break the seal on jars of olives too.


----------



## Bribie G (23/11/12)

I've had this thing for years,









it must date from the 1960s at least. You just place it on the jar, start squeezing and it tightens to fit exactly, then twist. 
No shame in not being able to open a jar. If you Google Images - Jar Opener - it confirms that this is a major problem afflicting humanity.


----------



## bum (23/11/12)

Just turn it upside down. Smack it hard. Nine times out of ten that'll sort it out.

[EDIT: Works for most things, really]


----------



## goomboogo (23/11/12)

bum said:


> Just turn it upside down. Smack it hard. Nine times out of ten that'll sort it out.
> 
> [EDIT: Works for most things, really]



I just tried it. She didn't appreciate it at all.


----------



## bum (23/11/12)

One down, nine to go.

I'd try nextdoor, rather than repeat with the same one. YMMV.


----------



## sponge (4/12/12)

Realised I forgot the old brewbrite and yeast nutrient on Saturday afternoon after seeing a little bowl with them in there waiting to be added...

I may as well just give up brewing all together now.


----------



## petesbrew (4/12/12)

Minding daughter for the next two days (post op tonsil surgery).
Spent 15minutes trying to thread the needle on a crappy Kmart battery powered sewing machine for her. 
Instead of a foot pedal it has a mouse. Who thinks of these things?
FML.


----------



## komodo (4/12/12)

Modern examples 





















I reckon the top one is the best. Wifes parents have a business selling all this stuff. Some pretty innovative gadgets out there to assist with daily tasks.


----------



## Airgead (4/12/12)

Komodo said:


> Modern examples
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Is the picture upside down or do you really attach it to your ceiling? I'm not sure the missus would like having to climb a ladder every time she wants to open a jar.

If its not upside down and its say a jar of pickled onions (ie: runnier than jam), what stops it from going everywhere when the lid comes off?

Cheers
Dave


----------



## bum (4/12/12)




----------



## bignath (5/12/12)

Airgead said:


> Is the picture upside down or do you really attach it to your ceiling? I'm not sure the missus would like having to climb a ladder every time she wants to open a jar.



you have a granite benchtop ceiling??


----------



## komodo (5/12/12)

LOL you mount it to the underside of a bench or (more prefferably) to the underside of overhead cupboards


----------



## Bribie G (5/12/12)

I just bought a 3m "market umbrella" from Bunnings for the front herb garden / patio area where we have morning coffee / brioche, and entertain visitors, and it doesn't have a strap or belt to wrap around and keep it neat when it's furled so I've had to borrow a wee bungee cord from the brewery. 

What is the world coming to?


----------



## pk.sax (5/12/12)

The bus doesn't run all the way home after 4 something. Have to catch the train connection, which I get a free pass for. Now I have to walk a few hundred meters more than I'd have had to.

FML


----------



## pk.sax (11/12/12)

All these jar openers!!!

My jar was plastic, with a plastic lid. Had to cut.

For the olive jar type, simplest solution, take a spoon with the smallest wrong end and jam it under the lip of the lid. Breaks the vacuum easily and they unscrew.

As for a FWP, Country Victoria is ******* up my brain with boredom.


----------



## warra48 (11/12/12)

My niece is complaining on Facebook about the freezing weather in The Netherlands.

Does that qualify as a "First World Problem", seeing as Europe is slowly but surely financially and economically disintegrating, just like a flushed turd going down the S bend ?


----------



## bum (11/12/12)

Soon-to-be Third World Problem?


----------



## pk.sax (11/12/12)

What's second world?


----------



## bum (12/12/12)

Eastern bloc.


----------



## pk.sax (12/12/12)

Pfft


----------



## WarmBeer (13/12/12)

A full day at work has just become a much more daunting proposition. First World Problem indeed.


----------



## pk.sax (13/12/12)

Darn scumbags. Portable browser with built in proxy?


----------



## Fourstar (13/12/12)

WarmBeer said:


> View attachment 59279
> 
> A full day at work has just become a much more daunting proposition. First World Problem indeed.




I'm more concerned about the use of a sonicwall as your edge router/security appliance.


----------



## pk.sax (13/12/12)

Matilda Bay has better bottling process than does Gage Road, apparently.

2 year bottle of big helga, no problem. Quite nice.

2 year bottle of gage road ipa (ik ik....) and I know what wet cardboard tastes and smells like.


----------



## petesbrew (14/12/12)

Got home yesterday - wife said "do you know your beerfridge door is open?" AAAAGH!!!

A bottle I tried to sqeeze in popped it open. She said she tried to close it but couldn't, so what did she do? Took out her wine and brought it in to the kitchen fridge. That's right, don't worry about the beer, lets just save the wine.

She needs more training.


----------



## sponge (20/12/12)

I have switched off during this last week of work and spent far more time on here than usual...


Definintely not a FWP, but seem to be contributing very little in terms of useful information.


Apologies to all.


----------



## seamad (20/12/12)

Thought i could smell beer when i woke up this morning. Went downstairs to the garage and somehow the spare fridge opened itself during the night and my 2 l flask of 1214 had lept out and commited suicide. Glass spread over about four square metres, and a banana estery yeasty smell. Thankfully i spilt the pack so started growing some more. Thats two 500 ml and one 2 l flask in a month.


----------



## pk.sax (20/12/12)

I hurt as if someone punched me in the ribs below my left nipple.

Called up medical personnel in training for some FMA and sympathy, got told to htfu stop being a princess. fml. Question was, on a scale of 0 to 10, how much it hurts. I said 4. Apparently, no gaf for anything below 5.


----------



## bum (20/12/12)

Yep.

I wouldn't even bother complaining anonymously on the internet for anything below a 7. And I LOVE complaining anonymously on the internet.


----------



## Bribie G (21/12/12)

practicalfool said:


> I hurt as if someone punched me in the ribs below my left nipple.
> 
> Called up medical personnel in training for some FMA and sympathy, got told to htfu stop being a princess. fml. Question was, on a scale of 0 to 10, how much it hurts. I said 4. Apparently, no gaf for anything below 5.


When I did half marathons, if it was raining the wet fabric of my running vest would rub against my nipples and they would bleed, causing stains down the front of the vest. As well as being painful of course. 
I gave up half marathons for home brewing.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (21/12/12)

I am homeless..... :unsure: ...true story


----------



## Bribie G (21/12/12)

WTF has happened, Stu??????


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (21/12/12)

A somewhat long and involved complicated story......


----------



## Bribie G (21/12/12)

Sounds like a woman involved. <_< 

All the best mate


----------



## Kiwimike (22/12/12)

Ducatiboy stu said:


> I am homeless..... :unsure: ...true story



Mate what part of this big country - I may be able to help


----------



## Kiwimike (22/12/12)

I have to get my post count up or i might be criticised!


----------



## brentice (22/12/12)

The world hasn't ended like it was supposed to. So apparently i still have to pay the mortgage back :angry: :angry: :angry: . On a positive note i can go back to brewing more beer


----------



## Ivan Other One (22/12/12)

brentice said:


> The world hasn't ended like it was supposed to.
> 
> Thak Freak for that, I'm kegging a brew today.


----------



## TasChris (25/12/12)

Home grown pork that crackles like a dream,
Home grown Dutch Cream potatoes, home grown peas and carrots,
50 litres on tap and a dozen selected specialty beers in the fridge.

Me in bed with gastro.

Bah humbug

Cheers and tears
Chris


----------



## pk.sax (25/12/12)

Weak

I ate through lunch and beer with a gastric ache in my ribs.

Get some asafoetida (hing) or some eno from the shop and you'd be up running.


----------



## bum (25/12/12)

practicalfool said:


> Get some asafoetida


I implore you not to do this.

That is the worst smelling shit that exists.


----------



## pk.sax (26/12/12)

Gets the job done 

Actually, indian shops sell a sweetened sort of version - hing goli, it doesn't smell the same after the processing. My shop was out  Had to boil stinky....


----------



## TasChris (26/12/12)

practicalfool said:


> Gets the job done
> 
> Actually, indian shops sell a sweetened sort of version - hing goli, it doesn't smell the same after the processing. My shop was out  Had to boil stinky....


The last thing I would have wanted to do yesterday was cook, boil or rend down anything let alone something stinky.

Cheers
Chris


----------



## Yob (3/1/13)

Early morning Brewing is my FWP... damn, cant yet have a beer and Im running to the kettle by half 9.

<_<


----------



## Ivan Other One (3/1/13)

Yob said:


> Early morning Brewing is my FWP... damn, cant yet have a beer and Im running to the kettle by half 9.
> 
> <_<




It's gotta be 10 o'clock somewhere,


----------



## Bribie G (3/1/13)

Hing (Devil's Dung) is great once it's cooked - it's like a whole raft of other "ethnic" foods that stink to high heaven when uncooked (fish sauce, parmesan etc) but heavenly when included in a recipe. 

Hing - the compunded variety - is best used into hot oil so it sizzles - then cook something in the oil - omelette, some dahl etc. I keep my tub in a sealed container so it doesn't stink out the pantry. 

If you've ever eaten at a Hari Krishna restaurant and burp up that nice garlicky oniony afterburp, that's hing - they don't use Garlic or Onions as it's not allowed in Vedic cuisine.

Edit: hing smells exactly like your armpit after a march across the Simpson Desert.


----------



## bum (3/1/13)

Bribie G said:


> Edit: hing smells exactly like your armpit after a march across the Simpson Desert.


Then rubbed it with feet and vomit.


----------



## yardy (3/1/13)

Bribie G said:


> the Simpson Desert.



It was previously known as the Simpson Forest when I was a Lumberjack (and I'm OK).


----------



## Bribie G (5/1/13)

Gardening day today. Mowed front, mowed back then took my old corflute real estate sign which I use as a "mask" so I can spray all round the borders and fence edges with Roundup without it getting onto anything else. Grabbed ye green squirter bottle and painstakingly did the spraying, then did the gravel paths and the clothes hanging area etc etc. Well pleased I put ye green bottle back on the shelf then spotted the label. I'd used the Confidor (insecticide). Well the weeds will be pest free anyway.


----------



## manticle (5/1/13)

Shat myself in front of the neighbours instead of inside in private, as per usual.


----------



## Bribie G (5/1/13)

Are you Indian by any chance?


----------



## manticle (5/1/13)

Austrian/Indonesian/slavic hybrid with a bit of Egyptian mongrel and a touch of Peruvian.

Just loose bowels, not race related


----------



## bum (5/1/13)

bum said:


> That is the worst smelling shit that exists.


Correction. You should smell this dried fish SWMBO brought back from China. I'm sitting here gagging while she's actually putting it in her mouth on the other side of the room. Ghastly.


----------



## sponge (7/1/13)

Coming home after a weekend away to find the gas bottle empty and kegs flat.

Fkn leak in a JG fitting...


----------



## browndog (7/1/13)

> I'm sitting here gagging while she's actually putting it in her mouth on the other side of the room. Ghastly.



She's probably used to putting ghastly things in her mouth Bum............ sorry, coundn't resist


----------



## Bribie G (7/1/13)

bum said:


> Correction. You should smell this dried fish SWMBO brought back from China. I'm sitting here gagging while she's actually putting it in her mouth on the other side of the room. Ghastly.



I love to sniff Asafoetida even more than wimmens nikkers.


----------



## bum (7/1/13)

I'm not used to being the one doing the gaging though, browndog.


----------



## browndog (7/1/13)

bum said:


> I'm not used to being the one doing the gaging though, browndog.




BAAHAHAhaaaa.......good one.


----------



## brentice (8/1/13)

I havent had a beer in 3 days.......    











True story


----------



## bum (8/1/13)

Yeah, I've only had beer 3 days this year so far. So much for "silly season".


----------



## pk.sax (13/1/13)

Pushed my hand into the brandy bowl trying to reach a spot of dried beer. Smashed it. Looked and there was a piece if glass embedded in the back of the hand.

Here goes the plan to make a risotto tonight. Guess I'm doing something frozen.


----------



## mwd (13/1/13)

Internet Providers. The sneaky so & sos they update and reduce the cost of services without telling customers. It is up to you to keep an eye on the plans and change accordingly.


----------



## mwd (2/2/13)

Rubber Gloves from the supermarket. Does not matter what you buy even the most expensive ones don't last very long before leaking.


----------



## Airgead (2/2/13)

Tropical_Brews said:


> Rubber Gloves from the supermarket. Does not matter what you buy even the most expensive ones don't last very long before leaking.


Yeah. With you there. My missus buys these super expensive, non-latex ones (latex allerg) and she seems to go through a couple of pairs a week. You'd think they could invent a rubber glove that actually lasted. I'm sure its a conspiracy.

Cheers
Dave


----------



## Bribie G (3/2/13)

Stupid bloated years out of date websites such as Eatability, Menumate, Menulog, Tripadvisor, TrueLocal etc. Just been to Chatswood for a couple of days and all the sites were DEAD WRONG trying to find Indian Restaurants, Asian Grocers, you name it. Either they closed down yonks ago or they just aren't there or never existed in the first place. These sites are fecking useless and now I'm home I'll give them a spray of emails, not that they care I guess as long as people keep clicking clicking clicking - I guess Sensis / Yellow pages are still the most reliable. I did find an Indian Grocers, accidentally ran into it opposite St Leonards station.

And guess what, not a single Indian restaurant (apart from a daytime bain marie setup at a foodcourt) in the whole of Chatswood, you know, Sydney's second massive CBD on the North Shore. Being swamped out by Korean BBQs etc. Odd, as every other pissy little strip of shops such as Epping, etc, has at least one Indian.


----------



## pk.sax (3/2/13)

Google maps my friend, google maps.

PS: you should've tried to find Indian on a Sunday morning with my car GPS. Useless piece of shit.


----------



## browndog (3/2/13)

Michael, I cannot recommend highly enough you download the app 'around me' for your phone, it is bloody brilliant at finding things around you. When we were in the states Liam blew me away with his ability to find things/places. For instance, I was after a piece of luggage from high sierra, we are walking down some street in San Fran, Liam gets on his phone, opens around me and goes "ahh there is a Macys a couple of blocks away that sell them" and off we go. We used it to find pubs, breweries, bottle shops, restaurants, you name it.

cheers

Browndog


----------



## pk.sax (3/2/13)

Around me didn't use to be that flash in oz, a year or so ago.... Might have improved. I've been using localscope, it gives you quite an exhaustive list of search options. Try it.


----------



## bum (3/2/13)

Bribie, has your carrier updated you Note to Jelly Bean? If so, you should have Google Now. Use that, it'll kick any app's dick in.

Also, Korean BBQ rules pretty hard. You should have had that.

[EDIT: typo]


----------



## Bribie G (3/2/13)

Only appropriate apps I have atm are the preloaded Galaxy one "local" and "Maps" which is the Google phone version, and both quite happily list a restaurant on Bribie Island that closed down in 2002 and local lista a Thai Restaurant that was demolished 14 years ago :huh: to make way for a high rise, so sadly I have little confidence. local listed the Kasturi North Indian diner at Chastwood that's now a law office.
However I'll certainly give "around me" a whirl.

Currently on Ice Cream Sandwich, I'll check updates, ta.


----------



## bum (3/2/13)

Google Now uses pretty much anything it can find on the internet rather than data specific to the app. Over time it will start telling you things before you ask for them - eg. if every time you go to a city you haven't been before you search for the local Indian restaurants Now might start showing you the locations of some as you arrive in town (patterns of use depending, etc). Fairly innovative type of dealie.


----------



## pk.sax (3/2/13)

bum said:


> Google Now uses pretty much anything it can find on the internet rather than data specific to the app. Over time it will start telling you things before you ask for them - eg. if every time you go to a city you haven't been before you search for the local Indian restaurants Now might start showing you the locations of some as you arrive in town (patterns of use depending, etc). Fairly innovative type of dealie.


Woops, Bribie will be going travelling with the Mrs and the app will start showing the *** shops from its analysis of his out of town visits! Now, where did I put that aluminium foil hat.


----------



## treefiddy (3/2/13)

practicalfool said:


> Woops, Bribie will be going travelling with the Mrs and the app will start showing the *** shops from its analysis of his out of town visits! Now, where did I put that aluminium foil hat.



Top local brothels recommended for you!


----------



## Mattress (3/2/13)

Bribie G,
I know youré not there anymore, but I really have to complain about Bribie Island.
Went there for a holiday in January and really, It's not much more than a retirement village with a moat.
other than fishing and the beach, nothing else.
If I'm going somewhere for a holiday I expect to be entertained.


----------



## Bribie G (4/2/13)

The RSL often has a Meatloaf or a Credence tribute show, what more could you desire? To be fully entertained you should have gone to Morayfield Shopping town and sat and watched the locals, better than a trip to Taronga Zoo and about as aromatic.


----------



## mikec (4/2/13)

Bribie G said:


> Chatswood, you know, Sydney's second massive CBD on the North Shore.


BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!


----------



## Bribie G (4/2/13)

Well it's got the biggest high rises 

Balmain kicks arse of course, as does Newtown.


----------



## brentice (6/2/13)

I havent made a batch of beer in 2 weeks.
















ITs True


----------



## rotten (6/2/13)

brentice said:


> I havent made a batch of beer in 2 weeks. ITs True


2 months here. I have had to buy tun bitter h34r:


----------



## brentice (7/2/13)

rotten said:


> 2 months here. I have had to buy tun bitter h34r:


sad times man


----------



## Malted (8/2/13)

My keg King kegerator arrived in Adelaide on Monday morning. Toll Ipec took it for a tour on Tuesday. They took it for a tour on Thursday. They took it for another tour today. I am unsure why it did not get a tour on Wednesday. They have not delivered it yet. Delivery destination was only 11.1km from the depot. I only just got the con number today when I queried (yesterday) why I have not received it. I spent 20 minutes on the phone and finally was able to speak to someone at the Adelaide Toll Ipec depot who said they would contact the driver, smack him on the back of the head and tell him to deliver it before 5:00pm. Anyone want to take bets if it will arrive in the next 28 minutes? My guess is no.

Stupid thing is I drive past the depot everyday and could have picked it up on Monday had I known...


----------



## brentice (8/2/13)

im still at work :-(


----------



## pk.sax (10/2/13)

Bought a pair of shorts from the Kmart in an emergency (wrong choice of clothes hearing out the door in the morning), they are the next size to what I used to buy.... And they fit perfectly without needing a belt even!


----------



## TasChris (10/2/13)

practicalfool said:


> Bought a pair of shorts from the Kmart in an emergency (wrong choice of clothes hearing out the door in the morning), they are the next size to what I used to buy.... And they fit perfectly without needing a belt even!


Kmart sizes are often wrong!!


----------



## Bribie G (10/2/13)

I haven't eaten a cornflake for about five years, and in fact I generally regard breakfast cereal as only fit for pigs, but in the last few days I have had an almost insane craving for a bowl of Kellogs (not fake supermarket versions) cornflakes with creamy milk and sugar. I succumbed and found to my surprise that KCF have almost disappeared from the supermarket aisles.
When I was a cereal eater, KCF were huge and came in numerous sizes from pensioner size up to one as big as a small car. Imagine my surprise when the local Coles stocks only wee 200g boxes for $2.80 and also a Coles Brand cornflakes - wait for it - 800g for $3.

Have people stopped eating cornflakes?

I bought the wee box - the flakes seem smaller than they were years ago.


----------



## thedragon (10/2/13)

You made the right choice buying the small Kellogg's packet. I'm all for home brand, but I reckon that in this instance if you got the Coles brand, the box would have tasted better than its contents.


----------



## Liam_snorkel (10/2/13)

Definitely. The coles version of sultana bran is absolutely bloody foul. Never again.


----------



## TasChris (10/2/13)

Bribie G said:


> I haven't eaten a cornflake for about five years, and in fact I generally regard breakfast cereal as only fit for pigs, but in the last few days I have had an almost insane craving for a bowl of Kellogs (not fake supermarket versions) cornflakes with creamy milk and sugar. I succumbed and found to my surprise that KCF have almost disappeared from the supermarket aisles.
> When I was a cereal eater, KCF were huge and came in numerous sizes from pensioner size up to one as big as a small car. Imagine my surprise when the local Coles stocks only wee 200g boxes for $2.80 and also a Coles Brand cornflakes - wait for it - 800g for $3.
> 
> Have people stopped eating cornflakes?
> ...


Of course Kellogg Corn Flakes were part if the regime invented by by John Kellogg to diminish the urge to masturbate.
Probably explains why there is less on the shelves these days!

Cheers
Chris ( non KCF eater)


----------



## bum (10/2/13)

And why Bribie had sworn off them.


----------



## browndog (10/2/13)

Bribie G said:


> I haven't eaten a cornflake for about five years, and in fact I generally regard breakfast cereal as only fit for pigs, but in the last few days I have had an almost insane craving for a bowl of Kellogs (not fake supermarket versions) cornflakes with creamy milk and sugar. I succumbed and found to my surprise that KCF have almost disappeared from the supermarket aisles.
> When I was a cereal eater, KCF were huge and came in numerous sizes from pensioner size up to one as big as a small car. Imagine my surprise when the local Coles stocks only wee 200g boxes for $2.80 and also a Coles Brand cornflakes - wait for it - 800g for $3.
> 
> Have people stopped eating cornflakes?
> ...


I would have picked you for a crunchy nut eater Bribie


----------



## yardy (15/2/13)

KCF slightly resemble scabs.


----------



## Liam_snorkel (15/2/13)

My croissant is too flakey.


----------



## winkle (15/2/13)

Liam_snorkel said:


> My croissant is too flakey.


Nothing worse.


----------



## dougsbrew (15/2/13)

My heavy duty tarp actually isnt very heavy duty at all..


----------



## thedragon (15/2/13)

yardy said:


> KCF slightly resemble scabs.


KFC looks awesome on the tv ads. 

I buy it about once a year. I'm always disappointed. Doesn't taste anywhere as good as it looks on tv.


----------



## yardy (16/2/13)

thedragon said:


> KFC looks awesome on the tv ads.


no it doesn't.


----------



## Bribie G (16/2/13)

I didn't eat KFC for around 15 years after I got food poisoning at their Caloundra branch. Then when I was in BABBs in Brisbane I would occasionally go the KFC on Logan Road to line my stomach prior to the meeting and the menu choices had really gone down. They used to go "two pieces and chips, three pieces and chips, four pieces... etc. I really like the hot n spicy pieces but the rest of the stuff they now make you ingest as part of the "meal deal" is alarming - MSG gravy poured into a cup of instant mashed potatoid substance and the chips are dreadful, with some sort of MSG dusting and they always look orange - and soggy. The can o cheap soft drink is a bit weird as well - prefer postmix.

Actually a KFC with Maccas fries and Hungry Jacks onion rings would be excellent.

edit: the reason it's not Kentucky FRIED Chicken anymore is down to the fat scare of the 1980s onwards, so the Fried was taken out of the title. Now that the "Healthy Food Pyramid" - you know the one that has produced the two fattest generations on the planet - has been discredited I believe that the old name is going to be reinstated in the USA for starters.


----------



## browndog (16/2/13)

Bribie G said:


> I didn't eat KFC for around 15 years after I got food poisoning at their Caloundra branch. Then when I was in BABBs in Brisbane I would occasionally go the KFC on Logan Road to line my stomach prior to the meeting and the menu choices had really gone down. They used to go "two pieces and chips, three pieces and chips, four pieces... etc. I really like the hot n spicy pieces but the rest of the stuff they now make you ingest as part of the "meal deal" is alarming - MSG gravy poured into a cup of instant mashed potatoid substance and the chips are dreadful, with some sort of MSG dusting and they always look orange - and soggy. The can o cheap soft drink is a bit weird as well - prefer postmix.
> 
> Actually a KFC with Maccas fries and Hungry Jacks onion rings would be excellent.
> 
> edit: the reason it's not Kentucky FRIED Chicken anymore is down to the fat scare of the 1980s onwards, so the Fried was taken out of the title. Now that the "Healthy Food Pyramid" - you know the one that has produced the two fattest generations on the planet - has been discredited I believe that the old name is going to be reinstated in the USA for starters.


I think KFC went down hill when they stopped frying their chicken and started baking it.


----------



## WarmBeer (18/2/13)

I can't determine any way to monetise all the "Likes" I'm receiving.


----------



## bum (18/2/13)

I'm planning on selling mine to pro members.


----------



## WarmBeer (18/2/13)

Have another. Let's set up some "quantitative easing" of our own.


----------



## bum (18/2/13)

This thing is paying out like a poker machine.


----------



## WarmBeer (18/2/13)

Or a dutch rudder.


----------



## bum (18/2/13)

Pro members may also apply to purchase those if they wish.


----------



## Dave70 (18/2/13)

My android equipped MOTOROLA wont play movies in the quicktime format.


----------



## bum (18/2/13)

Do you have Quicktime Pro? That'll convert to a format you can play.


----------



## pk.sax (18/2/13)

That must've felt good.

Work sucked balls today. After the weekend surfing and driving in the rain it was torture to wake up to a grey sky and convince myself to turn up and not chuck a sickie, prolly a good idea, I'm still in probation.


----------



## bum (18/2/13)

You're singlehandedly blowing out the inflation rate here, pk. This is my retirement nest egg you're playing with!


----------



## Dave70 (19/2/13)

bum said:


> Do you have Quicktime Pro? That'll convert to a format you can play.


No. But I found a player - actually several in the google 'Play Store' application that came installed on the phone. Had to use my thumb heaps though. 
Aggravating the problem was the fact that I was attempting to play a clip recorded on my Contour GPS in full HD format. I guess thats all to much for the stupid player cos its kind of jerky and shit.
Fine. I'll just watch it in plain old Original HD (1280x720p, 30fps) then. 
Hardly worth it even. 
What a ******* world..


----------



## jyo (19/2/13)

I left my phone charger at work over the weekend so I had to swap my sim card over into my older mobile and use a push button phone. I felt like a troglodyte. .


----------



## pk.sax (19/2/13)

bum said:


> You're singlehandedly blowing out the inflation rate here, pk. This is my retirement nest egg you're playing with!


Put it in the super. Let someone else worry about it.


----------



## Ivan Other One (19/2/13)

The computor security system at work won't let me access AHB, due to it being an Alcohol related site.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (20/2/13)

Its raining


----------



## peas_and_corn (21/2/13)

Ivan Other One said:


> The computor security system at work won't let me access AHB, due to it being an Alcohol related site.


I'm sure you can find an appropriate proxy to get around it.


----------



## petesbrew (21/2/13)

found a fantastic set of mixtape podcasts... in m4a format.
Received a $30 gift voucher for my birthday ... for itunes

**** you so much, Apple
Regards,
a non ipod device owner.


----------



## Florian (21/2/13)

Ducatiboy stu said:


> Its raining


I'm sure they worry about that even in third world countries from time to time.


----------



## Ivan Other One (22/2/13)

peas_and_corn said:


> I'm sure you can find an appropriate proxy to get around it.


Hmmm, stuff doing these bloody data entries today then, it seems there is a far more important issue to deal with now.



Ducatiboy stu said:


> Its raining


It's not raining,,,


----------



## rotten (22/2/13)

I beg to differ

It is raining


----------



## Bribie G (22/2/13)

Scored an original (tested and tagged) Monier Crockpot - the orange one - from an op shop and made a magnificent Sri Lankan Lamb Curry with 2 kilos of BBQ chops - on the bone.
As I eat it over the next few days I'll think of all the poor pallid vegans who would love to eat this but would be frightened of what their fwends Alistair, Tarquin, Octavia and Saskya would spread around on Facebook if they found out.


Edit: it's pissing down, I'll have to drive to the butcher for my breakfast steaks instead of walking as I don't like to get wet, I get erect nipples which rub against the wet fabric which is painful.


----------



## bum (22/2/13)

Bribie G said:


> Edit: it's pissing down, I'll have to drive to the butcher for my breakfast steaks instead of walking as I don't like to get wet, I get erect nipples which rub against the wet fabric which is painful.


Which reminds me (NSFW):


----------



## Bribie G (22/2/13)

EEk I used to get that when I did long distance running.


----------



## bigandhairy (22/2/13)

Bribie G said:


> Scored an original (tested and tagged) Monier Crockpot - the orange one - from an op shop and made a magnificent Sri Lankan Lamb Curry with 2 kilos of BBQ chops - on the bone.
> As I eat it over the next few days I'll think of all the poor pallid vegans who would love to eat this but would be frightened of what their fwends Alistair, Tarquin, Octavia and Saskya would spread around on Facebook if they found out.
> 
> 
> Edit: it's pissing down, I'll have to drive to the butcher for my breakfast steaks instead of walking as I don't like to get wet, I get erect nipples which rub against the wet fabric which is painful.


Woild you be kind enough to share the recipe Bribie? 

bah


----------



## brentice (22/2/13)

I cut my fingernails this morning. Come this afternoon i was unable to pick my nose effectively


----------



## Liam_snorkel (23/2/13)

Birds have shat on my car twice since I polished it this morning.


----------



## browndog (23/2/13)

brentice said:


> I cut my fingernails this morning. Come this afternoon i was unable to pick my nose effectively


LOL, that is funny, didn't you save the pinky for a snotminer?


----------



## Nick JD (23/2/13)

Pfizer don't spend any money on solving 3rd world disease.


----------



## bum (23/2/13)

Nick JD said:


> Pfizer don't spend any money on solving 3rd world disease.


Bayer one-upped them long ago.

http://www.nytimes.com/2003/05/22/business/2-paths-of-bayer-drug-in-80-s-riskier-one-steered-overseas.html?pagewanted=print


----------



## Dave70 (25/2/13)

Nick JD said:


> Pfizer don't spend any money on solving 3rd world disease.


Ah, but it's what they _don't_ do that counts.
The last thing they need in developing countries is subsistence farmers tending their hard-on's rather than their fields.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (25/2/13)

Still raining. And it flooded


----------



## WarmBeer (25/2/13)

Ducatiboy stu said:


> Still raining. And it flooded


Rain?

What is that?


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (25/2/13)

WarmBeer said:


> Rain?
> 
> What is that?


Its a bit like a shower only bigger.


----------



## brentice (25/2/13)

im really tired at the moment. Its a true story


----------



## Ivan Other One (25/2/13)

brentice said:


> I cut my fingernails this morning. Come this afternoon i was unable to pick my nose effectively





browndog said:


> LOL, that is funny, didn't you save the pinky for a snotminer?


If you'd have left the thumb nail long,,, Would this then be classed as a Snot-Major???


----------



## WarmBeer (26/2/13)

Ducatiboy stu said:


> Still raining. And it flooded





WarmBeer said:


> Rain?
> 
> What is that?


It's raining.


----------



## bum (26/2/13)

It most certainly is...on the day I have the car booked in for a service and had to walk home after dropping it off then I'm supposed to walk back in to town later on to catch a train. Shan't be doing that last bit, I don't think.


----------



## sponge (26/2/13)

It stopped raining here, but rained enough over the weekend to cancel a pre-season knockout game on sunday and training tonight.

That was my FWP...

But then as quickly as training was cancelled, the manager hired out the local indoor centre to play indoor soccer instead of beach runs for some unknown reason.

All is right in the world once more.


----------



## TasChris (26/2/13)

WarmBeer said:


> It's raining.


What's rain. We have had only 20mm since Christmas. Most un Tasmanian like.


----------



## brentice (26/2/13)

we hear of rain all the time. Hasnt happened since november i think


----------



## Lecterfan (27/2/13)

Went 'pro' and now I have to google site sponsors...such a nuisance.


----------



## bum (27/2/13)

Dane says he's working on it.

It is counter to the general internet model, of course, but so much of what goes on here is already so it makes perfect sense.

[Please note the lack of sarcasm tags/ninja smilies/etc.]


----------



## TasChris (27/2/13)

Lecterfan said:


> Went 'pro' and now I have to google site sponsors...such a nuisance.


I went to a pro once, Starsan wont fix it!


----------



## Lecterfan (27/2/13)

TasChris said:


> I went to a pro once, Starsan wont fix it!


 You needed the fermenter-liners to start with. That was your mistake.



Also, next problem: was thrashing my wy1469 brew and the handle of the spoon snapped. The beer has now been 'dry-spooned' for extra flavour.


----------



## Mattress (27/2/13)

I dry-spooned with a pro once, wasn't worth the money.


----------



## bignath (28/2/13)

What really shits me is those "sandwich cases" that you get for the kids to put in their lunchboxes. Saves using a ziplock bag and stops the sanga from getting crushed...

Now the useless **** that designed them, obviously hasn't done his R&D on these fucken things becuase they are designed to fit smaller slices of bread, but trying to stuff a fritz and sauce sandwich made with some nice big sliced "tip top" brand bread seems to result in the crust getting torn off the ******* sandwich as you close the lid on the bastard.

All they need to do is make them another half a cm bigger and all would be right again.


----------



## AndrewQLD (28/2/13)

Big Nath said:


> What really shits me is those "sandwich cases" that you get for the kids to put in their lunchboxes. Saves using a ziplock bag and stops the sanga from getting crushed...
> 
> Now the useless **** that designed them, obviously hasn't done his R&D on these fucken things becuase they are designed to fit smaller slices of bread, but trying to stuff a fritz and sauce sandwich made with some nice big sliced "tip top" brand bread seems to result in the crust getting torn off the ******* sandwich as you close the lid on the bastard.
> 
> All they need to do is make them another half a cm bigger and all would be right again.


Made in China, fits the bread ok there.


----------



## dougsbrew (28/2/13)

haha, need to become more sofistimecated and cut the crusts off before stuffing it in tha box.


----------



## goomboogo (28/2/13)

dougsbrew said:


> haha, need to become more sofistimecated and cut the crusts off before stuffing it in tha box.


No need to. It sounds like the box will cut them off for you.


----------



## sponge (1/3/13)

Possibly only made for those little toastie croutons.

Delicious, but impractical.


----------



## Liam_snorkel (1/3/13)

I forgot to pinch & punch the cat this morning


----------



## sponge (1/3/13)

Oooo yea, the old pinch and punch.

I might have to do a lap around the office and see how quickly I can lose my job.

Golden handshake, here I come.


----------



## Malted (1/3/13)

Liam_snorkel said:


> I forgot to pinch & punch the cat this morning


Just boot it up the arse this arvo and all will be forgiven.


----------



## Liam_snorkel (1/3/13)

It would eat my leg. This cat is quite large.


----------



## Malted (1/3/13)

Liam_snorkel said:


> It would eat my leg. This cat is quite large.


Oh in that case, pick it up and whilst it is thinking it is going to get a lovely hug, drop kick it into the next room.


----------



## Liam_snorkel (1/3/13)

It's not keen on being picked up, or cuddles. Claws & teeth come out in seconds.


----------



## punkin (1/3/13)

Why, why, fuking why, does it ALWAYS take a _minimum_ of 3 goes to put a USB or phone connection into a socket that can only go two ways :angry:


----------



## Malted (1/3/13)

Liam_snorkel said:


> It's not keen on being picked up, or cuddles. Claws & teeth come out in seconds.


Rigtho, we're not beaten yet. 


Drop a ball of twine in front of it. Make sure you leave a good length of string hanging out of it so that you can animate it. When puss sinks it's claws into the ball, kick the cranky carnt in the coight, preferably with enough force so as to propel puss away from you. Happy first day o' tha month puss! 

Caution: it will remember and will strike back when you least expect it. One minute it will be purring and rubbing against your legs, the next moment sinking it's claws and fangs into your leg in a malicious and evil attack. 

Solution: Dangle the ball of string by an open door. Kick puss in the coight so as to propel it out the door. Close door behind pus. Go buy a puppy.


----------



## Liam_snorkel (1/3/13)

I'll give it a go. I predict that it will exact it's revenge by killing a native animal and leaving it on my bed.


----------



## Malted (1/3/13)

Ah there's your mistake. Don't let it back into the house; no environmental problems then.


----------



## Liam_snorkel (1/3/13)

I'll give it a shot.

Don't want a puppy though because I'd have to walk & bathe it.


----------



## sponge (1/3/13)

It's not 5 oclock yet.

Maybe I should move to NZ...?


----------



## Malted (1/3/13)

Liam_snorkel said:


> I'll give it a shot.
> 
> Don't want a puppy though because I'd have to walk & bathe it.


Too easy, let it chace the postman and sleep on the lawn where the sprinklers/rain will wash it. Don't worry about its turds, most times puppies will eat their own shit; I don't see why they would stop doing that unless you discouraged them from doing so. You could sprinkle their food over their shit just to be certain.


----------



## Mike L'Itorus (1/3/13)

Malted said:


> You could sprinkle their food over their shit just to be certain.


Or alternatively, you could sprinkle _your _shit over _their _food, just to be obtuse, and to remind them who is the master. I do the same with my children; it seems to work.


----------



## Airgead (1/3/13)

Drinking the first glass of a very nice Heffewiezen I brewed the other day. It really is very nice indeed but this manky, pissing with rain, weather is making me wish I'd brewed a stout instead.

Such is life.


----------



## Bribie G (1/3/13)

I loved going to my local supermarket as they used to play a song every five minutes with the lyrics "Down down prices are down". Man I used to get so happy and load my trolley. Now they've replaced it with "There's no freshness like Cole's freshness" which just doesn't cut it for me. IGA is great, they often play Bowie which really suits the older shoppers - old lady on a walker joining in with "where were the spiders when the fly tried to break our balls".

Aldi doesn't have music, Hmm maybe Australians might dig the Horst Wessel song ....


----------



## winkle (1/3/13)

Bribie G said:


> I loved going to my local supermarket as they used to play a song every five minutes with the lyrics "Down down prices are down". Man I used to get so happy and load my trolley. Now they've replaced it with "There's no freshness like Cole's freshness" which just doesn't cut it for me. IGA is great, they often play Bowie which really suits the older shoppers - old lady on a walker joining in with "where were the spiders when the fly tried to break our balls".
> 
> Aldi doesn't have music, Hmm maybe Australians might dig the Horst Wessel song ....


Nah, they just need the Rammstein back catalog.


----------



## Mattress (1/3/13)

Liam_snorkel said:


> It's not keen on being picked up, or cuddles. Claws & teeth come out in seconds.


Is your Cat's name Pinky?


----------



## mwd (1/3/13)

Remote controls that chew through batteries and go down at very inconvenient times. I have a Harmony remote that goes through 4 x AAA batteries every few months.


----------



## pk.sax (1/3/13)

Freedom! Freedom! Freedom!

Che' Caterva ftw


----------



## brentice (1/3/13)

i'll be at work all night............................ Its all true :unsure: :unsure:


----------



## browndog (2/3/13)

Breaking down bulk hops into 100g bags today and the vacuum sealer goes on the fritz, spend 1/2hr pulling it down and trouble shooting the unit until I figured out that the bag I was using had a hole in it. :blink:

edit - speling


----------



## Nick JD (2/3/13)

browndog said:


> Breaking down bulk hops into 100g bags today and the vacuum sealer goes on the fritz, spend 1/2hr pulling it down and trouble shooting the unit until I figured out that the bag I was using had a hole in it. :blink:
> 
> edit - speling


Fixing your own gear is not a first world problem. Throwing it away when it still works is.


----------



## browndog (2/3/13)

Nick JD said:


> Fixing your own gear is not a first world problem. Throwing it away when it still works is.


What about vac bags with holes then?


----------



## Nick JD (2/3/13)

browndog said:


> What about vac bags with holes then?


2nd world at best.


----------



## Black Devil Dog (2/3/13)

I hate it when I record Triple J's Hottest 100 on Rage, on my Blu-Ray recorder, so that I can get a really good library of music videos for **** all and I'm going through the programme cutting all the shit songs out and **** me if the entire programme doesn't start pixelating and now even songs that I want to keep have to go!

What the **** is the ABC doing with my 8 cents per day FFS!




Luckily I already had them from previous shows, so it wasn't as big a catastrophe as it could have been............but still.


----------



## peas_and_corn (3/3/13)

Sometimes I have to navigate to the second page in the latest threads to find this one and post in it.


----------



## Bribie G (5/3/13)

I have to provide 3 poo samples to check for occult blood and suddenly I have no desire to go to the toilet.


----------



## mikec (5/3/13)

I'm going to Bora Bora next week, spending five nights in a five star over-water bungalow.

Which means I won't have time to brew that Dunkelweizen until the end of March.


----------



## Bribie G (5/3/13)

an over water bungalow might assist my bowel reluctance.


----------



## bum (5/3/13)

Not looking forward to that picture thread.


----------



## TasChris (5/3/13)

Bribie G said:


> I have to provide 3 poo samples to check for occult blood and suddenly I have no desire to go to the toilet.


Used to be a time when you didn't have to supply any poo checks before joining a cult. except for the Scouts of course


----------



## Bribie G (5/3/13)

Most cults are only interested in the blood, not the poo. except for the Scouts as mentioned.


----------



## Bribie G (12/3/13)

SWMBO was clearing stuff and found a stack of old CD-R discs of unknown content, so I've been running through them and found some old photos etc. However one of them is a copy of an album by Richard Clayderman (pianist guy popular in the 90s) and the track that came up was the theme from Dynasty (obsolete soapy also popular in the 90s),

Now I can't get it out of my head, I'm walking around humming and whistling the fecking thing.

Dr Nitzchke I'm ready for you, collect me now :unsure:


----------



## mwd (12/3/13)

Contestants on a TV cooking show who call each other "babe" every three seconds.


----------



## Bribie G (13/3/13)

Stepdaughter's partner calls her "bub" every TWO seconds. When they were staying here every time I handed him a home brew he'd absent mindedly say "Thanks bub"

I _hope _it was absent mindedness. :blink:


----------



## Florian (13/3/13)

Wait til they actually have children, the use of 'bub' will increase from every two seconds to every second pretty quickly...


----------



## punkin (22/3/13)

I start complaining about my $20 pasta machine that jumps back to thickness 7 if i try to push it too hard at once.


Then i think about all the Nona's that have been hand rolling for centuries.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (22/3/13)

It's 39*c


----------



## Malted (22/3/13)

> I start complaining about my $20 pasta machine that jumps back to thickness 7 if i try to push it too hard at once.
> 
> 
> Then i think about all the Nona's that have been hand rolling for centuries.


I would not eat pasta that old!


----------



## pk.sax (25/3/13)

So, I'm force carbing the keg overnight. Wake up and test the tap, still only a half glass pours before the keg dies... wtf. NRV is put on the wrong way! I've been testing it at 3 bar. Fml. Hopefully it is done by tonight's party.


----------



## pk.sax (25/3/13)

Americans. Dishing them dark humour is like feeding a wall, it all goes splat!


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (25/3/13)

Its hot and humid so i had to go to the pub


----------



## Bribie G (26/3/13)

Spent over a grand on a new 7 piece dining table and chairs and it arrives tomorrow. I've just discovered to my horror that it's arriving as a flat pack. :blink: :blink: WTF

Note to self: if shopping at Super A Mart ensure one has an electric screwdriver at home. Good job they don't sell fridges, they'd come flat pack as well I reckon.

This should be interesting - I'll take some photos and post. Boy am I going to be drunk by tomorrow night.


----------



## brentice (26/3/13)

Ive got a first world problem. My beer glass is half empty and my misses is asleep. Im not sure if i can get to the fridge myself and get another long neck. Ive google'd it and the process seems to complicated for me


----------



## Liam_snorkel (26/3/13)

You can do it, I believe in you.


----------



## brentice (26/3/13)

I'll give it a go, Wish me luck


----------



## Airgead (27/3/13)

brentice said:


> I'll give it a go, Wish me luck


Looks like he never made it back. Guess it was too much for him after all.


----------



## sponge (28/3/13)

Airgead said:


> Looks like he never made it back. Guess it was too much for him after all.


Maybe he realised his glass was actually still half full..?


----------



## mckenry (28/3/13)

Our cleaner keeps mixing up the cutlery !! I'm finding butter knives in the steak knives section :angry:


----------



## Dave70 (28/3/13)

mckenry said:


> Our cleaner keeps mixing up the cutlery !! I'm finding butter knives in the steak knives section :angry:


I think she needs spanking.


----------



## Cocko (28/3/13)

Does she do the floors?


----------



## WarmBeer (28/3/13)

Dave70 said:


> I think she needs spanking.


Cleaner, envisaged:






Cleaner, reality:


----------



## Cocko (28/3/13)

Golden!


----------



## Black Devil Dog (28/3/13)




----------



## Dave70 (28/3/13)

Black Devil Dog said:


>


Now _thats_ the kind of OCD I can get behind.


----------



## Cocko (28/3/13)

Is that a KK keg she is using?


----------



## brentice (28/3/13)

Airgead said:


> Looks like he never made it back. Guess it was too much for him after all.


I made it. Had to wrestle a grizzly bear, strangled a rattlesnake and urinate on a vicious dog but I got a couple of longnecks in the end. Bear grills would have been proud of me


----------



## Cocko (28/3/13)

Drink your own urine to prove it!


----------



## brentice (28/3/13)

Isn't that what vb is


----------



## Cocko (28/3/13)

Bear Grills loves VB aye!


----------



## ploto (29/3/13)

my pc died last month and ive been using a tablet instead. having to tap the screen to type is painful, i feel like a chook pecking at the ground. i thought at least i can turn it to get a better view of the pictures i downloaded, but the auto rotate just puts her back on her feet.


----------



## GuyQLD (2/4/13)

First world problem #367: the sign reads quiet carriage you ******* retards. I sat here because I have a headache and I wanted some peace. Not because I want to listen about your first gay experience. Not that I'm judging you. Well not your sexual preference, your ******* rude ignorance on the other hand...


----------



## Mattress (2/4/13)

GuyQLD said:


> First world problem #367: the sign reads quiet carriage you ******* retards. I sat here because I have a headache and I wanted some peace. Not because I want to listen about your first gay experience. Not that I'm judging you. Well not your sexual preference, your ******* rude ignorance on the other hand...


Were they guys or chicks talking about their first gay experience?
That could make all the difference.


----------



## GuyQLD (2/4/13)

Was a guy telling three girls.


----------



## brentice (2/4/13)

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=du6nYwPLBsw


----------



## Bribie G (3/4/13)

I woke up screaming out of a nightmare this morning. I had dreamed that I had grown a mullet.

Bacon, 3 eggs fried in ghee, tomato, mushrooms soon cheered me up. -_-


----------



## WarmBeer (3/4/13)

Bribie G said:


> I woke up screaming out of a nightmare this morning. I had dreamed that I had grown a mullet.







Que???


----------



## Airgead (3/4/13)

Should have done pan fried mullet with tomato and mushroom...That would make a ripper breakfast.


----------



## Bribie G (3/4/13)

Easily obtainable in Taree if you go out with a pair of hairdressers scissors.


----------



## mwd (3/4/13)

Who reckons North Korea will spark a war with the South and the US. 

I think the US needs to get the Stealth Fighters into action with some of them missiles that have been sitting around since Iraq.
Might have to Nuke the Commy Bastards before they launch a nuke of their own.


----------



## bum (3/4/13)

North Korea is already at war with South Korea.

The US is already flying F-22s in the region.


----------



## mwd (3/4/13)

War Games but will the North kick the first goal. If I lived in Japan I might be thinking on moving.


----------



## bum (3/4/13)

The US has significant presence in South Korea. If the North tried to launch anything the US would have it grounded before it left their borders.


----------



## Airgead (4/4/13)

Problem with Korea (and probably the only reason the US hasn't kicked something off to date) is that Seoul is only a few K from the border. Well within artillery range and the North have literally thousands of rockets and guns trained on Seoul with the stated aim (and capacity) to reduce the whole place to rubble within a few minutes. Not many countermeasures for massed artillery like that. Patriot missiles are fine against occasional missiles but not against millions of BM11 rockets and shells.

Cheers
Dave


----------



## Liam_snorkel (4/4/13)




----------



## bum (4/4/13)

Airgead said:


> Not many countermeasures for massed artillery like that. Patriot missiles are fine against occasional missiles but not against millions of BM11 rockets and shells.


Yeah, sure. I was referring to nukes as I assumed this was T_B's concern.

I'd reckon the +25K members of the various US militaries being stationed there may act as something of a deterrent, though.


----------



## spog (4/4/13)

beggers belief how they make such threats,threaten other countries etc.(obviously have a problem with reality) maybe the people are too afraid to speak out as they would be shot.
just another f,wit who will kill just to prove a point, .cheers..spog...


----------



## WarmBeer (4/4/13)

spog said:


> beggers belief how they make such threats,threaten other countries etc.(obviously have a problem with reality) maybe the people are too afraid to speak out as they would be shot.
> just another f,wit who will kill just to prove a point, .cheers..spog...


It's cause he's wonely. So, so wonely...


----------



## spog (5/4/13)

> It's cause he's wonely. So, so wonely...


 is'nt that a song "im so lonely" perhaps he could do a cover version..GANGNEM style and get his fix that way. cheers....spog....


----------



## WarmBeer (5/4/13)

spog said:


> is'nt that a song "im so lonely" perhaps he could do a cover version..GANGNEM style and get his fix that way. cheers....spog....







Whoosh...


----------



## mwd (5/4/13)

WarmBeer said:


> It's cause he's wonely. So, so wonely...


 Wasn't that his dad in Team America World Police movie.


----------



## tavas (5/4/13)

Yep


----------



## petesbrew (7/4/13)

Aaaah, Hans Brinks!!!


----------



## brentice (7/4/13)

Arrr noo It's hans briks


----------



## peas_and_corn (8/4/13)

I hope the UN has sent him a letter by now.


----------



## GuyQLD (8/4/13)

It was probably in English.


----------



## Mattress (8/4/13)

GuyQLD said:


> It was probably in English.


That's Lacist.


----------



## seamad (8/4/13)

Gotta admire the choice of John Cleese as army marching instructor though


----------



## Bribie G (13/4/13)

My legs are going to sleep and I must get off the dunny but I have to finish this post first.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (13/4/13)

Don't drop it in the bowl


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (13/4/13)

Don't drop it in the bowl


----------



## winkle (13/4/13)

I just ironed a shirt for my wife, itsn't that her job?


----------



## brentice (13/4/13)

Work is starting to seriously eat into my drinking time. Im starting to feel a little sad about it. Its true


----------



## bum (13/4/13)

Ducatiboy stu said:


> Don't drop it in the bowl


Isn't that what it is for?

Oh, you mean the phone.


----------



## sponge (16/4/13)

so.. much... advertising...


----------



## pk.sax (21/4/13)

Took me 2 days to figure out how to turn on the Foxtel in my motel.


----------



## petesbrew (21/4/13)

practicalfool said:


> Took me 2 days to figure out how to turn on the Foxtel in my motel.


Dude....


----------



## bullsneck (21/4/13)

Tropical_Brews said:


> War Games but will the North kick the first goal. If I lived in Japan I might be thinking on moving.





bum said:


> The US has significant presence in South Korea. If the North tried to launch anything the US would have it grounded before it left their borders.





Airgead said:


> Problem with Korea (and probably the only reason the US hasn't kicked something off to date) is that Seoul is only a few K from the border. Well within artillery range and the North have literally thousands of rockets and guns trained on Seoul with the stated aim (and capacity) to reduce the whole place to rubble within a few minutes. Not many countermeasures for massed artillery like that. Patriot missiles are fine against occasional missiles but not against millions of BM11 rockets and shells.
> 
> Cheers
> Dave





Liam_snorkel said:


>





bum said:


> Yeah, sure. I was referring to nukes as I assumed this was T_B's concern.I'd reckon the +25K members of the various US militaries being stationed there may act as something of a deterrent, though.





spog said:


> beggers belief how they make such threats,threaten other countries etc.(obviously have a problem with reality) maybe the people are too afraid to speak out as they would be shot.just another f,wit who will kill just to prove a point, .cheers..spog...





WarmBeer said:


> It's cause he's wonely. So, so wonely...


----------



## Bribie G (22/4/13)

Went to buy some 12 grain multigrain bread from the supermarket, got it home and it's only the 9 grain one.


----------



## peas_and_corn (22/4/13)

Immigrants stole three grains while it was in your car.


----------



## pk.sax (22/4/13)

It was hard work figuring out what can and cannot be purely microwave cooked in woollies.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (22/4/13)

that's assuming they will let you take a microwave in and start cooking stuff


----------



## pk.sax (23/4/13)

Touché. Motel living at its best.

btw, seriously looking for a room in Canberra.


----------



## brentice (23/4/13)

i havent made a brew in 28 days. Its becoming a problem


----------



## Fents (23/4/13)

brentice said:


> i havent made a brew in 28 days. Its becoming a problem


I havnt brewed since Feb! Getting a bit ansty tbh.

Moving house sucks balls too, buggered if i could ever be a painter for a living. Cutting in paint is the most annoying thing ever.


----------



## Florian (23/4/13)

I win, it's been January here...


----------



## Bribie G (23/4/13)

I haven't brewed since Sunday.

The larger Coles stores do a good range of fresh Indian and Italian in trays you can microwave - I lived on them when I stayed at the Y in Sydney.


----------



## Bizier (23/4/13)

Florian said:


> I win, it's been January here...


Real blokes don't brew since late last year (date undisclosed).


----------



## pk.sax (23/4/13)

Discounting a fwk fermented, not since September last year.


----------



## winkle (23/4/13)

Florian said:


> I win, it's been January here...


  A cry for help if ever there was one.
Get over here Thursday arvo.


----------



## mwd (24/4/13)

PVR users who try to skip forward to bypass commercials when they are on live TV.


----------



## mwd (24/4/13)

Bribie G said:


> I haven't brewed since Sunday.
> 
> The larger Coles stores do a good range of fresh Indian and Italian in trays you can microwave - I lived on them when I stayed at the Y in Sydney.


Yes and very nice too. I got some of the Naan garlic bread and was very impressed. Yet to try the Chicken Tikka Masala.


----------



## Florian (24/4/13)

winkle said:


> A cry for help if ever there was one.
> Get over here Thursday arvo.


That might not happen but I'll see what I can do.

Sort of saving myself to your AHA brew day in a week or two, planning to bring my rig along and break all AHA rules by brewing something they don't want me to brew.


----------



## Bribie G (24/4/13)

Florian, just a heads up, Aldi have "Nuremberg Bratwurst" in their super specials meat section, little ones about 12 to a pack for $4-5, work out at $12 a kilo. Can't wait to have a few with my new kraut-chi for afternoon snakkies tomorrow.


----------



## winkle (24/4/13)

Florian said:


> That might not happen but I'll see what I can do.
> 
> Sort of saving myself to your AHA brew day in a week or two, planning to bring my rig along and break all AHA rules by brewing something they don't want me to brew.


All good  - I'll have to sub some grain in the Mild anyway.


----------



## Kiwimike (24/4/13)

Tropical_Brews said:


> PVR users who try to skip forward to bypass commercials when they are on live TV.


Hey sometimes we forget that we are on live tv! especially after a couple of home brews have been consumed!


----------



## peas_and_corn (26/4/13)

The 'First World Problem of the Month' in CM's signature is more than a month old.


----------



## bum (26/4/13)

Almost immediately after I complimented Deja Vu on playing Portishead they started playing Cake instead. I almost don't even like beer anymore.


----------



## Florian (26/4/13)

Bribie G said:


> Florian, just a heads up, Aldi have "Nuremberg Bratwurst" in their super specials meat section, little ones about 12 to a pack for $4-5, work out at $12 a kilo. Can't wait to have a few with my new kraut-chi for afternoon snakkies tomorrow.


there's a real first world problem:

I'd love to buy some, but i still got about 10 - 15 of those packs in the freezer from when they had them last October.
if i would've known they were selling them that soon again i would have bought less last time and eaten fresh ones now instead.

EDIT: Winkle, might bring some along to the brew day if you get the barbie going?


----------



## WarmBeer (27/4/13)

peas_and_corn said:


> The 'First World Problem of the Month' in CM's signature is more than a month old.


Sorry, this is the wrong thread to complain about What Pisses Me Off on this forum.

Nevermind, go ahead.


----------



## goomboogo (27/4/13)

WarmBeer said:


> Sorry, this is the wrong thread to complain about What Pisses Me Off on this forum.
> 
> Nevermind, go ahead.


I guess the FWPT is the new WPMOT. I'm glad that's sorted because it's Saturday and I now know where to go later tonight.


----------



## pk.sax (28/4/13)

You didn't keep that appointment.


----------



## goomboogo (28/4/13)

I'm unreliable.


----------



## GuyQLD (28/4/13)

My gas bottle ran out with 5 minutes left on the boil. Boil off wasn't as high as normal as a result (weaker boil towards the end) and I didn't notice. I had a spare gas bottle so no dramas there. My 6.2% beer will only be 6% now.


----------



## mwd (30/4/13)

Most food cans these days come in ring pull tins. Why do they need instructions on how to open are we all morons?


----------



## peas_and_corn (30/4/13)

Watch people try to use self serve checkouts for five minutes and I'm sure you'll realise the answer to that.


----------



## punkin (30/4/13)

Seen a gut at work one time try squeezing a sauce packet while he was reading it and it was facing him......


----------



## Bribie G (30/4/13)

Tropical_Brews said:


> Most food cans these days come in ring pull tins. Why do they need instructions on how to open are we all morons?


Not if they are made in New Zealand - Watties etc are all old can opener jobs. And they never mastered the toothpaste tube with the attached cap, all theirs are screw on / screw off.

But their 1.25L scrumpy cider at 8% AVB for $5 rocks like you would not believe.


----------



## bradsbrew (15/6/13)

3 kegs blow on the same night, oh the humanity. Now I have to lift those two full kegs next to the fridge and replace the empty ones, I will now only have 3 beers on tap for a couple of weeks FFS.


----------



## pk.sax (16/6/13)

Pizza stuck to Coles brand baking paper. Friggin cheap shit. Damn the people that buy them.
On the + side, my friends happily scraped the soft bread and toppings off the stuck crust and gobbled it all. No crusts to eat though  next time, I'm bringing paper with me when I cook at somebody's.


----------



## punkin (16/6/13)

Better still take a pizza stone.


----------



## pk.sax (16/6/13)

I'd challenge you to a side by side crust, my paper and your stone.


----------



## TasChris (16/6/13)

practicalfool said:


> I'd challenge you to a side by side crust, my paper and your stone.


Paper beats stone


----------



## brettprevans (17/6/13)

Waiting foe the nxt season or ep of ypur fav tv series. Or the seeming decrease of T&A in GOT S3


----------



## bum (17/6/13)

Having to endure people talk about television on the thing you use to avoid television in the first place.


----------



## GrumpyPaul (18/6/13)

Looks like my NRV is faulty - seems to have a leak. Whole cyinder of CO2 gone... :angry:

Cheap refill place (Shelby Safety - he fills my 6kg bottle for a dozen Carlton Draught cans) is only open Mon to Frid business hours - no day off planned for a while. 

Drinking the last few bottles in stock - I am getting to the point of no beer soon until I can gas up the keg.


----------



## brettprevans (18/6/13)

Half a slab of carlton is $20. Bunnings is about the same price for an 8.5kg bottle


----------



## WarmBeer (18/6/13)

I hope you don't often confuse CO2 with LPG, otherwise I won't be drinking your beers next time we catch up


----------



## brettprevans (18/6/13)

WarmBeer said:


> I hope you don't often confuse CO2 with LPG, otherwise I won't be drinking your beers next time we catch up


 yeah my bad. I saw gas and thought lpg. It would get u prty fkd up though.


----------



## GrumpyPaul (18/6/13)

You're all missing the point of this TRAGEDY..

I am almost at the point of NO BEER.

Why doesn'tanyone care.....


----------



## pk.sax (18/6/13)

Tch tch


----------



## Bridges (28/7/13)

Darling wife has reorganized all the drawers in our kitchen, had to open THREE drawers to find a bowl to eat my cereal out of this morning. Not looking forward to the next few weeks of random cupboard and draw opening to find what I want.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (28/7/13)

Why do they do that.......why....


----------



## winkle (28/7/13)

Because


----------



## Bridges (28/7/13)

Because it apparently needed to be done and was of the utmost importance.


----------



## punkin (28/7/13)

Bridges said:


> Darling wife has reorganized all the drawers in our kitchen, had to open THREE drawers to find a bowl to eat my cereal out of this morning. Not looking forward to the next few weeks of random cupboard and draw opening to find what I want.



I do that every morning looking for my socks.

They're always in the same drawer, just takes me three goes to get the right one every day.

Always three goes to get a phone charger or usb in too.


----------



## jyo (28/7/13)

Next time just tip the milk straight into the box and eat it with your hands. Be sure to mumble and complain while you spit your cornflakes all over the floor as you eat.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (28/7/13)

great for a decree nisi


----------



## petesbrew (28/7/13)

Had a voucher for 1000 bonus flyby points if I bought a kwikgas swap from a Coles Express servo.
Took the empty up there, checked the price - $38. Holy macaroni that's a lot.

I then had to drive around the block and deal with the halfwits in the bunnings carpark for a $22 bottle.
Yep, I know... FWP.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (28/7/13)

1000 flyby points wouldnt even buy an empty box of matches


----------



## drew9242 (28/7/13)

petesbrew said:


> Had a voucher for 1000 bonus flyby points if I bought a kwikgas swap from a Coles Express servo.
> Took the empty up there, checked the price - $38. Holy macaroni that's a lot.
> 
> I then had to drive around the block and deal with the halfwits in the bunnings carpark for a $22 bottle.
> Yep, I know... FWP.


Had the same here. They are the exact same thing as the ones at kleenheat (not halfwits like bunnings and very efficent so i pay a buck extra) that I get for $23. So I thought can't be to much more. Nearly fell over when I saw the price. Got straight back in the car and said it could wait till Monday.


----------



## punkin (29/7/13)

I get 18kg bottles for $40. I negotiated with my local gas company.


----------



## Dave70 (29/7/13)

Ducatiboy stu said:


> 1000 flyby points wouldnt even buy an empty box of matches


Is that some kind of riddle, like the sound of one hand clapping?


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (29/7/13)

A 2nd hand joke


----------



## thedragon (29/7/13)

Supagas, about $28 for a 9kg bottle home delivered. It's a little more expensive, but I put an empty bottle on the doorstep in the morning and have a full one when I get home.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (29/7/13)

i have a hole in my sock.....annoying as my toe keeps poking thru it


----------



## 431neb (29/7/13)

Deebo said:


> Thats nothing.. I forgot I had a leftover homemade hamburger in the fridge from dinner last night and took shitty macaroni and cheese to work..


I love that shitty macaroni and cheese. I think it's got all the chemicals that Dave listed, that's why it's so good.


----------



## Donske (29/7/13)

I have one room in my house that holds a steady 18-19 degrees, I had a thought the other day that this one room that holds a steady 18-19 degrees would be perfect to ferment some pale ales at ambiant temps, I was right, the yeast are having a field day.

Now, I realise that does not sound like a problem, the thing is though...

That one room that holds a steady 18-19 degrees is my ******* bedroom and the airlock is ******* noisy when I am trying to get to sleep, the ******* thing kept me up for 2 ******* hours last night which completely ruined my sleep schedule and lead to an even shittier Monday than normal.


----------



## WarmBeer (29/7/13)

Donske said:


> I have one room in my house that holds a steady 18-19 degrees, I had a thought the other day that this one room that holds a steady 18-19 degrees would be perfect to ferment some pale ales at ambiant temps, I was right, the yeast are having a field day.
> 
> Now, I realise that does not sound like a problem, the thing is though...
> 
> That one room that holds a steady 18-19 degrees is my ******* bedroom and the airlock is ******* noisy when I am trying to get to sleep, the ******* thing kept me up for 2 ******* hours last night which completely ruined my sleep schedule and lead to an even shittier Monday than normal.


Gladwrap.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (29/7/13)

And if you have ever watched Bad Boy Bubby you will fully understand the gladwrap concept


----------



## punkin (30/7/13)

Guessing single guy.


----------



## bullsneck (30/7/13)

I have a nasal infection and am on antibiotics. Here's the kicker... I'm holidaying in Belgium. Can't taste a flipping thing.


----------



## pk.sax (30/7/13)

Whoops.

Btw, my airlock isn't bubbling. Yeast went through it like a rocket and volcanoed all day yesterday.


----------



## pk.sax (30/7/13)

Donske said:


> I have one room in my house that holds a steady 18-19 degrees, I had a thought the other day that this one room that holds a steady 18-19 degrees would be perfect to ferment some pale ales at ambiant temps, I was right, the yeast are having a field day. Now, I realise that does not sound like a problem, the thing is though... That one room that holds a steady 18-19 degrees is my ******* bedroom and the airlock is ******* noisy when I am trying to get to sleep, the ******* thing kept me up for 2 ******* hours last night which completely ruined my sleep schedule and lead to an even shittier Monday than normal.


Now that mine is dpi g the same. FU blooping airlock.
It's loud.


----------



## WarmBeer (30/7/13)

practicalfool said:


> Now that mine is dpi g the same. FU blooping airlock.
> It's loud.


Maybe you need to re-hydrate it first?


----------



## bum (30/7/13)

The fun threads aren't fun anymore.


----------



## Dave70 (30/7/13)

bum said:


> The fun threads aren't fun anymore.


Cheer up buckaroo, here, listen to this.
The other day I was having a nice chat with my 95 year old nan on the work phone and accidently referred to my cousin as a _funny ****. _I think I saved it with a quick cough and rapid subject change.
Not really a first world problem so much as a self censorship issue.

I was however using a new Cisco Systems phone supplied as part of the NBN rollout, so it kind of was.

Feel better?


----------



## bum (30/7/13)

I lolled irl.

Legit.


----------



## WarmBeer (31/7/13)

bum said:


> The fun threads aren't fun anymore.


Have no fear. Cocko will be back in approx 16 hours.


----------



## mwd (31/7/13)

Don't you just hate it when you have to get two pairs of glasses to read the cooking instructions on the back of supermarket food.


----------



## Florian (31/7/13)

WarmBeer said:


> Have no fear. Cocko will be back in approx 16 hours.


Well, I'm not hanging around till midnight today...


----------



## pk.sax (31/7/13)

WarmBeer said:


> Maybe you need to re-hydrate it first?


Wlp005 aka ringwood?!

Heh, I made a starter, couldn't hear the effin thing the first night because the yeast volcano pushed the airlock water out


----------



## GrumpyPaul (1/8/13)

Is the dog eating your testicle a first world problem?

Dog eats paralysed man's testicle while he sleeps

Read more: http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/home-garden/dog-eats-paralysed-man8217s-testicle-while-he-sleeps/story-fngwib2y-1226689510173#ixzz2ah6ldCmC

True story....


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (1/8/13)

I can see why he would have a problem with that


----------



## WarmBeer (1/8/13)

GrumpyPaul said:


> Is the dog eating your testicle a first world problem?
> 
> Dog eats paralysed man's testicle while he sleeps


When it's your testicle it's a problem.

When it's somebody else's testicle, it's comedy gold.


----------



## punkin (2/8/13)

shit, just posted this in the off topic thread. Must have the same email circle.


----------



## Edak (2/8/13)

How's this for FWP?

I have to wait to drink my case swap beers because of overseas holidays...


----------



## GrumpyPaul (2/8/13)

Magistrate Simon Smart was told the complainant said he was awoken by his ex-wife performing fellatio on him.


Read more: http://www.news.com.au/breaking-news/national/ex-wife-had-sex-without-consent-sa-man/story-e6frfku9-1226690264795#ixzz2amrbdOxB

and he complained????

Now thats a first world problem when your woken up like that


----------



## Clutch (2/8/13)

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2013-08-01/school-student-beats-officeworks-bags-policy/4859128


----------



## Bridges (6/8/13)

PEBCAK everywhere for me, maybe it's the beer talking but the erudite, witty, clever posts that are in my head seem to be nonsensical drivel when I or any one else tries to read them later.


----------



## thedragon (2/9/13)

A poor connection between the gas line and the disconnect means that what was yesterday a good bottle of gas is now useless.

The inconvenience of having to get the bottle refilled I can deal with. Having to buy beer from my off licence, which stocks only megaswill, really hurts. 

Fark.


----------



## bum (6/9/13)

My usual polling place isn't polling this election so instead of walking I have to drive.

Voting sober is going to be strange.


----------



## dougsbrew (6/9/13)

So not 'polling' locally anymore. driving to a new 'polling' venue. i hear you..


----------



## bum (6/9/13)

She's going away for work next week.

What else am I supposed to do?


----------



## punkin (9/9/13)

Been spending so much time brewing and worrying about my brew lately. It's all come back in proportion for me though.

I walked past the missus, she was watching some singing and dancing shit she had recorded...

i was worrying about my efficiency when it caught my ear that i had bigger things to worry about.


Now all i'm worried about is if my rap's wack.

I don't even know how wack my rap should be? And if it should be a restrained wack or an exuberant wack...And then again, how rap should my wack be?

Maybe i should start a thread on it?


SoManyThingsToWorryAboutPunkin


----------



## bum (9/9/13)

Relax. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that the wackness of your rap is so great that it cannot even be quantified.


----------



## punkin (10/9/13)

I'd be happy with an average wack.


----------



## bum (10/9/13)

No can do, I'm afraid.

Even your wackness is wack.


----------



## punkin (10/9/13)

See there you go. I wouldn't know where to start to assess it, but you have it all nailed.


----------



## bum (10/9/13)

That's because I am ill.

[EDIT: And you are wack]


----------



## punkin (11/9/13)

bum said:


> That's because I am ill.
> 
> [EDIT: And you are wack]


missing part of that sentence? Ill-mannered? Ill-behaved? Ill-adjusted?


----------



## pk.sax (11/9/13)

Ill parted?


----------



## WarmBeer (11/9/13)

Ill uminati?


----------



## bum (11/9/13)

Ill ustrates-the-pinnacle-of-man?


----------



## Malted (11/9/13)

punkin said:


> Now all i'm worried about is if my rap's wack.


If you're rapping your knuckles whilst giving it a wack, you're likely to be doing something wrong.


----------



## WarmBeer (11/9/13)

bum said:


> Ill ustrates-the-pinnacle-of-man?


ill ogical


----------



## punkin (11/9/13)

Malted said:


> If you're rapping your knuckles whilst giving it a wack, you're likely to be doing something wrong.



Sitting too close to the screen?


----------



## Malted (11/9/13)

punkin said:


> Sitting too close to the screen?


I am quite hesitant* to imagine what you might be doing...

*Nay, let's say it is repulsive to even consider imaginging.


----------



## bum (11/9/13)

WarmBeer said:


> ill ogical


ill OG ical?


----------



## punkin (12/9/13)

bum said:


> ill OG ical?



Hence the reason why people would rather spend 8 months trying to figure out a problem by themselves than ask advice on here.

Just a few, but they are vocal.


----------



## bum (12/9/13)

What the **** are you even talking about?

Seriously.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (13/9/13)

I am missing 2 egg cups....a major problem. All of the worlds problems combined are no match.


----------



## punkin (14/9/13)

Scraped out into the bin with the shells and crusts for sure.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (14/9/13)

Was thinking that


----------



## bradsbrew (14/9/13)

Ducatiboy stu said:


> I am missing 2 egg cups....a major problem. All of the worlds problems combined are no match.


Have a look where you keep the shot glasses....................been done before.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (15/9/13)

No...they are wire spiral wound ones. I have been cutting up egg cartons and them for egg cups.


----------



## mwd (16/9/13)

You spend months downloading a TV series then when you go back to rewatch one episode is missing.


----------



## bum (16/9/13)

Tropical_Brews said:


> You spend months downloading a TV series


Dialup?


----------



## GuyQLD (16/9/13)

bum said:


> Dialup?


That's definately a first world problem.

(read: NBN)


----------



## pk.sax (17/9/13)

I've noticed I have the first post on a few pages of this thread. I resent being a whinger apparent.


----------



## rheffera (17/9/13)

Alcohol and Cheese are going to kill me. First world problems.


----------



## pk.sax (17/9/13)

Darn I forgot the cheese when I brought the beer over. Back to the fridge and another beer. Fvck


----------



## Forever Wort (17/9/13)

Played terribly at badminton tonight. Rats.


----------



## pk.sax (17/9/13)

OT: Dude, I wanna start playing again. Where is the club/what days?


----------



## Forever Wort (17/9/13)

I play at ANU. There is no club there, we are just a bunch of guys who get together for social doubles. $10 to hire a court for an hour. 

I have heard there is a decent competition set up down south though, somewhere in Tuggeranong.


----------



## WarmBeer (17/9/13)

No Lagavulin at the Duty-Free at Melbourne airport. FML.


----------



## pk.sax (17/9/13)

Cool. I'm not competitive. Will ask my buddy at work where the ANU courts are. Have to find a racquet... Forgot mine in Brissy when I moved 
See you there sometime. Do you guys just SMS around or something?


----------



## bum (22/10/13)

My favourite YouTube got deleted.


----------



## Bribie G (28/10/13)

My cavalry in Age of Empires II HD need a kick up the arse. When I send them through an enemy's gate that has been conveniently opened by some dumb villager, the cavalry go the opposite way, wheel around in a poncy formation and only _then _rush the gate, by which time it's closed again.

Dickheads.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (28/10/13)

Started on a job today, as a hired hand, and there was suposed to be a third person to help. Basically the job is cabling in a full security system for our shiny new BCF. Its a priick of a job. Some company in Sydney are the subbies.

Bloke turned up fom Sydney late this arvo.

He has a brocken ******* thumb


----------



## goomboogo (28/10/13)

Was he late because he hitch-hiked with a broken thumb?


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (28/10/13)

No.....he drove....

Oh well...half a person is better than nono


----------



## Bridges (29/10/13)

It keeps raining and I have to brew out side. The only days in the last few weeks it hasn't rained I've been at work...


----------



## jyo (29/10/13)

My kids have too many toys and they can't decide what to do.

Poor little blighters.


----------



## Bribie G (29/10/13)

I ran out of the Coles $5 mince that I feed the wild birds on, and had to give them pork and veal mince instead.


----------



## pk.sax (29/10/13)

I can't decide between cooking and pizza tonight.


----------



## bum (29/10/13)

Cook pizza?


----------



## jyo (29/10/13)

Yeah, but he has to decide whether in the fan-forced oven or wood-fired pizza oven? That sucks.


----------



## bum (29/10/13)

Shit. Sorry, PK. I swear I didn't know.

My thoughts are with you.


----------



## pk.sax (30/10/13)

IK. Tragedy. I just ate a mango.


----------



## eungaibitter1 (30/10/13)

That's right. There's just not enough water


----------



## TasChris (30/10/13)

Ducatiboy stu said:


> Started on a job today, as a hired hand, and there was suposed to be a third person to help. Basically the job is cabling in a full security system for our shiny new BCF. Its a priick of a job. Some company in Sydney are the subbies.
> 
> Bloke turned up fom Sydney late this arvo.
> 
> He has a brocken ******* thumb


Did he type the above post for you?

Cheers
Chris


----------



## bum (30/10/13)

I can't apply the free Mavricks upgrade to my VM version of Mountain Lion.


----------



## pk.sax (30/10/13)

I'm too drunk to get to the next beer.


----------



## brettprevans (30/10/13)

practicalfool said:


> I'm too drunk to get to the next beer.


pathetic. Thats a first world insult problem


----------



## bum (30/10/13)

citymorgue2 said:


> pathetic. Thats a first world insult problem


Unless he has to go buy it.


----------



## Liam_snorkel (30/10/13)

FWP: lecture notes written in engrish.


----------



## pk.sax (30/10/13)

bum said:


> Unless he has to go buy it.


Bought. Just too smash tired/drunk to get the next. C'mon Friday.


----------



## bum (30/10/13)

Liam_snorkel said:


> FWP: lecture notes written in engrish.


Had a head tutor this semester who spoke only in 2nd-hand riddles.

Very technical subject.

Was BOSS.


----------



## pk.sax (31/10/13)

Brother of sexy sister?


----------



## bum (31/10/13)

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Boss%20%28slang%29


----------



## Not For Horses (31/10/13)

When you open a popular online beer forum and have a popup and you have to go to all the effort of closing it. Damn you 1 or 2 extra seconds.


----------



## Mardoo (31/10/13)

When you open a popular online beer forum and have a popup and you have to go to all the effort of closing it. Damn you 1 or 2 extra seconds.
Those .13 seconds add up, especially when you're driving!


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (31/10/13)

Even worse when skydiving


----------



## Bribie G (31/10/13)

I bought lollies for the kids coming round tricking and treating, but none of them wanted to come in and see Uncle Warren doing his nude yoga.


----------



## djar007 (31/10/13)

Next I will be preparing a thanksgiving dinner and praying for an easy winter. Absurd.


----------



## Bribie G (2/11/13)

Called SWMBO out into the yard just now to look at three enormous Black Cockatoos (note I didn't say enormous black cockies) who feed on the Banksias.

She wouldn't come out as she's watching a wildlife show.


----------



## of mice and gods (2/11/13)

i'm bored


----------



## pk.sax (3/11/13)

Fuckin bunnings changed the sizing of their pine boards. My keezer plans are in disarray, can't use 90x45s for filler. Might have to find a Clarke rubber or somefin that sell expaning foam.

Spewin. Fool. True story.

PS: got 2 sides cut larger than required. Would've to trim them down. Fukin life, end it. Get me another Heineken.


----------



## Mardoo (3/11/13)

The pizza joint around the corner doesn't deliver


----------



## petesbrew (4/11/13)

Yesterday some dickhead neighbour up the street put out his overflowing recycling bin on the kerb. Lid up at about 38degrees. paper and milk bottles all over the street.
I get his son's homework on my driveway. He can't spell for shit.

Come to think of it I should've corrected the spelling and put it in his letterbox. Damn! Why do I only think of these things now?


----------



## brettprevans (5/11/13)

I cant get someone from jb hifi or similar tell me whether a wireless western digital media player on one tv will be able to puck up shows on a hdd connected to another wireless WD media player. They want me to buy a new router which in my mind is them just trying to flog shit.


----------



## Airgead (6/11/13)

Yep. Just trying to flog shit.

They can puck up shows from another player's external drive but only in New Zealand.


----------



## brettprevans (6/11/13)

Airgead said:


> Yep. Just trying to flog shit.
> 
> They can puck up shows from another player's external drive but only in New Zealand.


yeah I want to watch motorway patrol eh bro


----------



## petesbrew (6/11/13)

Pulp fiction on telly. great movie. They cut to the ad break in the middle of the Jack Rabbit Slim swing contest.
The bit they show as they're cutting to an ad? * the Jack Rabbit Slim swing contest.*


----------



## bum (6/11/13)

Slimception.


----------



## mwd (9/11/13)

Whatever happened to common sense? A four wheel drive filling up at a Petrol Station develops a leak so what do they do is call emergency services. The Fire Brigade and Police show up cordon off the area and close the road and divert traffic while everybody stands about with thumbs in the mouth. Why didn't the driver just pull the nozzle out of the filler and wait while the overflow stopped ?
The fireries with nothing to do hosed the whole forecourt. Don't they know in the Tropics petrol evaporates off in a few minutes.
Just light up a fag while you fill the car.


----------



## bradsbrew (9/11/13)

petesbrew said:


> Pulp fiction on telly. great movie. They cut to the ad break in the middle of the Jack Rabbit Slim swing contest.
> The bit they show as they're cutting to an ad? * the Jack Rabbit Slim swing contest.*


Pulp fiction with ad's would be plain wrong and ruin


----------



## Pickaxe (10/11/13)

I bought lollies for the kids coming round tricking and treating, but none of them wanted to come in and see Uncle Warren doing his nude yoga.


Next year, give em trough lollies.

pickaxe


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (10/11/13)

Got some composted chook & sheep manure for my pots....now I have shit loads of flies hanging around


----------



## goomboogo (10/11/13)

Ducatiboy stu said:


> Got some composted chook & sheep manure for my pots....now I have shit loads of flies hanging around


http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=DQeyjgSUlrk


----------



## Mardoo (10/11/13)

Man the title of that vid was bad enough! Better than starving though. 


Sent from my iPhone using Aussie Home Brewer


----------



## Bribie G (10/11/13)

I have left over Osso Bucco and left over Ratatouille in the fridge. I can't decide which one to have for lunch and they just don't _*go *_together. :unsure:


Edit: probably have bacon and eggs again.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (10/11/13)

Toast


----------



## Bridges (10/11/13)

I've got a bit of a cold and it's screwed up my sense of taste and smell a bit. I had two hop hogs last night and feel it was a waste as I couldn't fully enjoy them.


----------



## Bridges (10/11/13)

Tropical_Brews said:


> Whatever happened to common sense? A four wheel drive filling up at a Petrol Station develops a leak so what do they do is call emergency services. The Fire Brigade and Police show up cordon off the area and close the road and divert traffic while everybody stands about with thumbs in the mouth. Why didn't the driver just pull the nozzle out of the filler and wait while the overflow stopped ?
> The fireries with nothing to do hosed the whole forecourt. Don't they know in the Tropics petrol evaporates off in a few minutes.
> Just light up a fag while you fill the car.


Common sense isn't common. I do agree with you, but when the fireys arrive they have to follow the procedures that their brigade has set out for that type of incident. They have to think worst case scenario. If, and I know it's pretty remote, things go bad, trying to defend yourself at the coroners court is hard when you can't say I followed every step of the emergency response as laid down by the agency I work for.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (10/11/13)

And fires at a petrol station are not pretty


----------



## Bridges (10/11/13)

Ducatiboy stu said:


> And fires at a petrol station are not pretty


Yeah and that ^ too.


----------



## pk.sax (10/11/13)

Did I tell you about this chick that pulled into my petrol station with a smoking car, because her mum told her to go straight to the service station when there is car trouble.


----------



## Bribie G (11/11/13)

The magpies, butcher birds, spangled drongoes and cuckoo shrikes won't even look at the pet mince from the butcher that I put out for them. I'll have to go back to the Coles $5 variety.
Anyone got a dog?


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (11/11/13)

Them birds are wise.....they have survived purfleet.


----------



## maxim0200 (11/11/13)

Coles?!? Are you feeling ok mate?
You should get them the 2KG pack from Aldi


----------



## Liam_snorkel (11/11/13)

Birds are wankers
http://m.imgur.com/lhBiE


----------



## nu_brew (11/11/13)

Yep. Bloody birds. 

http://m.gifbin.com/985457


Sent from my iPhone using Aussie Home Brewer


----------



## seamad (16/11/13)

We're on tank water and have about 30cm in each tank, so really need the rain...but.. started steeping some black grains for a black ipa last night, was planning on brewing today but i can't cause it's raining.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (16/11/13)

30cm......heaps....unless its a small tank..

I feel your pain.....as a fellow tank user you do tend to get a bit excited when it rains


----------



## Airgead (16/11/13)

Ducatiboy stu said:


> 30cm......heaps....unless its a small tank..
> 
> I feel your pain.....as a fellow tank user you do tend to get a bit excited when it rains


Yep. I know how you feel. Our 5000l tank was completely empty last week. We were contemplating having to use town water on the garden for the first time in 5 years. then it rained. 2 days solid rain and the tank is full again. Happy happy joy joy.

Also happy because I brew with the tank water and I can now make the Koelch I have been putting off because the tank was low.

Cheers
Dave


----------



## seamad (16/11/13)

bloody sunny now and too late to start.


----------



## Bridges (18/11/13)

Computer is off being fixed. Means I have to do this via my phone, as it's way to hard to get my work laptop from the van parked in the driveway.
Sent from my phone whilst i'm on the couch.


----------



## WarmBeer (27/11/13)

Wife is out and kids are asleep.

And I can't even have a wank as there's an outside chance I might get lucky later tonight.


----------



## GuyQLD (27/11/13)

The problem with the Internet being 90% porn is as follows: I've seen the other 10% already and now I'm bored.


----------



## brentice (28/11/13)

The problem with porn is the laptop keeps getting viruses. I keep telling the misses its all the lardie dah stuff she looks up on google but i think she isn't buying it....Thats my first world problem
True story


----------



## brentice (28/11/13)

My other problem is my post count is way low so i cant put my tag as "True story" it just says "Mini Mash. Again this is a true story


----------



## spog (28/11/13)

WarmBeer said:


> Wife is out and kids are asleep.
> 
> And I can't even have a wank as there's an outside chance I might get lucky later tonight.


it's almost 12hours later. So.....


----------



## WarmBeer (28/11/13)

it's almost 12hours later. So.....

If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all...


----------



## brentice (29/11/13)

Every time i drink my home brewed beers of awesomeness my farts really stink.... True Story


----------



## brentice (29/11/13)

I even made a point of firing up the dutch oven on the misses...... She swore at me lots and called me nasty names.... Again this is a true story


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (29/11/13)

You may need to adjust the thermostat


----------



## Bribie G (29/11/13)

I want some Camembert _now _but I can't be bothered to wait for it to warm up and go runny.


----------



## GuyQLD (29/11/13)

Bribie I've got a gripe with you mate, the Camembert from Aldi is always under ripe and I'm too impatient to wait for it to ripen. Fix that for me will ya!


----------



## brentice (29/11/13)

Ducatiboy stu said:


> You may need to adjust the thermostat


my farts come out at around 32-40 degress. How do i adjust my thermostat, Do i need to eat salami and drink moonshine??? again i dont know if this is true i can only speculate....this may or may not be a true story


----------



## Northside Novice (30/11/13)

Nuclear penguins should be left alone !


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (30/11/13)

brentice said:


> my farts come out at around 32-40 degress. How do i adjust my thermostat, Do i need to eat salami and drink moonshine??? again i dont know if this is true i can only speculate....this may or may not be a true story


With hysterises like that I would be replacing it.


----------



## brentice (1/12/13)

Ducatiboy stu said:


> With hysterises like that I would be replacing it.


How much would a new thermostat cost?????? Is it something that is readily available. Will i have to import it from North Korea. I am unsure of these details....Story of trueness


----------



## Bridges (4/12/13)

Good god man, fix that thermostat ASAP. Check out this horror story www.ronsonwriter.com/content/view/69/9/


Note may or may not be a true story...


----------



## Black Devil Dog (4/12/13)

Some days the aircon in my 4x4 doesn't feel cool enough and I have to wind my window down. Then the road noise from my Cooper Discoverer tyres is really noisy and I have to wind my window up...............


----------



## bum (12/12/13)

SWMBO got me a couple of these when we were at the brewery a few weeks ago:
http://store.lagunitas.com/Lagunitas-Mason-Jars_p_23.html

I don't really dig the whole (literal) jar thing but they were cheap and it is kinda cool to have something from the brewery.

Anyway, SWMBO carted these around California for a few weeks and brought them home in her hand luggage to make sure they wouldn't break. Now that I'm drinking from them at home I kinda hate them but feel compelled to continue to use them because of her efforts.


----------



## Not For Horses (12/12/13)

Maybe you should just put them on the top shelf and say that they are far too precious to be used for drinking from.


----------



## bum (12/12/13)

"Get your hand off it! They were only $3 each and you've got a spare anyway."


----------



## bradsbrew (12/12/13)

Gee sorry love, I knew i shouldn't have tried carrying all those jars while they were wet. Lucky they weren't full of beer. Looks like I have to go back to the old schooner glass!


----------



## Liam_snorkel (12/12/13)

say that they can only be used for Lagunitas beers.


----------



## bum (12/12/13)

bradsbrew said:


> Gee sorry love, I knew i shouldn't have tried carrying all those jars while they were wet. Lucky they weren't full of beer. Looks like I have to go back to the old schooner glass!


These are mason jars (threadless). Would have to be nigh-on 5mm thick. Would need to throw them a couple of times for that idea to work.

Plus I don't want to break them - it was nice of her to get them. I just don't want to drink out of them.

[EDIT: added quote]


----------



## bum (12/12/13)

Liam_snorkel said:


> say that they can only be used for Lagunitas beers.


I like this idea but the bitch would probably get me some.

Wait a sec...!


----------



## bradsbrew (12/12/13)

Suffer in your jocks then :lol: :lol:


----------



## Not For Horses (12/12/13)

Hmm, you're screwed then.

I'm with you on the not drinking from jars though. If I wanted to do stuff that uni students do, I'd be out the back under the clothesline with a goon bag pegged to the corner alternating between lay backs and throwing down PBR from a red plastic cup after some guy in a pseudo-vintage Ramones tshirt finished regurgitating 'his opinion' about post-Aristotelian philosophy.


----------



## Liam_snorkel (12/12/13)

bum said:


> I like this idea but the bitch would probably get me some.
> 
> Wait a sec...!


Win win! She may accuse you of being anal, just take it in stride..


----------



## bum (12/12/13)

There's a streak of genius in you, Liam.


----------



## Liam_snorkel (12/12/13)

that's my quota for the year gone.


----------



## bum (12/12/13)

You're lucky.

Mine typically ends out before January does.


----------



## StalkingWilbur (12/12/13)

Liam_snorkel said:


> Win win! She may accuse you of being anal, just take it in stride..



I'm pretty sure there's a joke in there somewhere.


----------



## philmud (14/12/13)

My scales are fucked and I only found out as I hit my boil. I had to eyeball my hop additions - my real fear is that it will be fugging amazing and I won't know how to replicate it! On a plus, I learned how to eyeball back in my weed years. Who said drugs are a waste?


----------



## philmud (15/12/13)

I ordered a new set of scales this morning. That's not hoppening to me twice!


----------



## punkin (15/12/13)

Prince Imperial said:


> I ordered a new set of scales this morning. That's not hoppening to me twice!


----------



## Yob (15/12/13)

I guess he's weighed up his options previously...

... god thats bad.. sorry..


----------



## philmud (15/12/13)

On a scale of one to ten it was pretty frustrating.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (15/12/13)

Did you try a scale of say six thirty or maybe even one to midnight.

Might be less frustrating.


----------



## nu_brew (15/12/13)

Bit heavy on the puns, you guys should lighten up.


----------



## bradsbrew (15/12/13)

C'mon, scale it back a bit fellas, don't make me get all heavy on youse. Weight a minute, wrong thread. Carry on.

Edit. Sorry, Poor attempt at humour


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (15/12/13)

No point pounding it out with every ounce of your energy. There are tons of weighs to balance the issue


----------



## bradsbrew (15/12/13)

At least you've got the stones to like your own posts stu.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (15/12/13)

I second that........hang on a minute...








Hey look.... A pink unicorn....


----------



## philmud (15/12/13)

Ducatiboy stu said:


> Did you try a scale of say six thirty or maybe even one to midnight.
> 
> Might be less frustrating.


Don't get too clever or someone might weigh in and clock you (2 for the price of 1 folks!)


----------



## philmud (19/12/13)

Can I have two whinges in a row? The Xmas present I ordered for my wife was "returned to sender" by Auspost. I paid for express shipping to make sure it arrived on time and someone, somewhere has fucked it up. Have asked for a replacement to be sent immediately, but it's not looking good. The most annoying part is, I'm just one stupid prick out of thousands expecting Xmas presents to arrive by mail - no one I'll need to deal with is actually going to give a toss.


----------



## Bridges (9/1/14)

My coffee machine has started not producing enough steam to get a good amount of micro foam and I can't remember what I did with the old machine which was I think was kept as a "back up" machine. Figured I needed the caffeine to brew today. Spent all day tinkering with a coffee machine. Net result passable coffee, empty cube, off to work night shift soon. Hopefully I'll get that brew in tomorrow.


----------



## Bribie G (29/1/14)

My 50 inch plasma is using too much electricity so I'll be forced to upgrade to a 60 inch LCD - they make it really tough for pensioners nowadays.

edit: and like Bridges above I can't remember what I did with a backup thingo. I had a perfectly good Sony DVD player that I gave to somebody and I can't remember who the hell it was, but maybe I was pissed at the time.


----------



## Bribie G (30/1/14)

Just spent four hours downloading the Predator movie series then realised I had actually wanted the Terminator series. :unsure:


----------



## pk.sax (8/2/14)

Pre employment medical place don't do weekends. Grrrr. Going to be a dry weekend for me.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (8/2/14)

Schapelle Corby being released.....now have to put up with the media making out she is news worthy


----------



## Bridges (8/2/14)

Ducatiboy stu said:


> Schapelle Corby being released.....now have to put up with the media making out she is news worthy


Wrong thread surely, She's been in prison in the third world.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (8/2/14)

Still shits me that she is going to be splashed all over the media as if she is newsworthy. Not to mention the $$$ that she will be offered for her story.......makes me sick just thinking about it.


----------



## wide eyed and legless (8/2/14)

Not allowed to profit out of crime, but it seems others are with t.v movies. The only way to profit out of crime is to commit it and keep your trap shut.


----------



## Bridges (8/2/14)

Actually Schapelle I'm totally indifferent about, the rest of her loser family though...


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (8/2/14)

I really want to see Mercedes go feral again on tv and explode


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (8/2/14)

wide eyed and legless said:


> Not allowed to profit out of crime, but it seems others are with t.v movies. The only way to profit out of crime is to commit it and keep your trap shut.


You think thats going to stop her/them....they just pay her sister...plus she is in Bali...so makes it a bit harder to enforce


----------



## timmi9191 (8/2/14)

Ducatiboy stu said:


> I really want to see Mercedes go feral again on tv and explode


I really want to see the earth under them open up and consume them.. Hopefully on tv..


----------



## Camo6 (8/2/14)

If I'd spent 9 years in a foreign prison over a petty amount of pot I'd be hoping the fuckers that convinced me it was a good idea had secured me a sizeable nest egg.


----------



## wide eyed and legless (8/2/14)

So pay her sister, families have fallen out over less. And who ******* cares, I won't be worrying about any payouts she may get and neither should anyone else.
Remember Harry Miller served a year in clink for ripping off $600,000 probably worth 4 times that today,
I would do that standing on my head for that money.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (8/2/14)

timmi9191 said:


> I really want to see the earth under them open up and consume them.. Hopefully on tv..


Maybe a Monty Python like cartoon creature would just drop from the clouds and swallow them whole...leaving Ch 7&9 executives pissed off they missed out on a prime TT/ACA segment that was only going to be viewed by VB drinking bogans from Sunnyvale


----------



## eungaibitter1 (8/2/14)

I had two shits today. You'd reckon there might be a bit less fibre in supermarket foods. Just out of politeness.


----------



## wide eyed and legless (8/2/14)

For fucks sake who ******* cares what happens to her, I would never have any empathy with some one doing something illegal and getting caught, and saying it isn't mine like its an excuse.
In fact I have very little empathy for dick heads doing the wrong thing and getting sprung, no ******* planning going through customs and saying where has that come from, I know nothing about it, give the dip shits 20 years no parole.


----------



## Liam_snorkel (8/2/14)

wide eyed and legless said:


> Remember Harry Miller served a year in clink for ripping off $600,000 probably worth 4 times that today,
> I would do that standing on my head for that money.


Did he get to keep it?


----------



## wide eyed and legless (8/2/14)

Cause he kept it, he even promoted his business from prison for fucks sake, using printers inside the prison.
I wish I could have run my business with so little overheads.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (8/2/14)

wide eyed and legless said:


> For fucks sake who ******* cares what happens to her, I would never have any empathy with some one doing something illegal and getting caught, and saying it isn't mine like its an excuse.
> In fact I have very little empathy for dick heads doing the wrong thing and getting sprung, no ******* planning going through customs and saying where has that come from, I know nothing about it, give the dip shits 20 years no parole.


She should have got the death penalty. She knew the risks. Do you see any of the Bali 9 get the same treatment....yep...its all bullshit. Something very funny going on.


----------



## pk.sax (8/2/14)

eungaibitter1 said:


> I had two shits today. You'd reckon there might be a bit less fibre in supermarket foods. Just out of politeness.


You, sir, I will quote to everyone that buys that powdered fibre shit in a box.


----------



## wide eyed and legless (8/2/14)

I draw the line at the death penalty, she was a mule, and when you consider her upbringing if anyone should get the death penalty I would nominate the Father.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (8/2/14)

Well its not up to us to decree how other countries sentance those who break their laws....look at Saudi Arabia and alcohol..

There are big signs at the airport and you would have to be utterly stupid not to know that drug running in those countries is punishable by death. 

Tough shit I say...if death is their penalty then that is the penalty. At least they dont **** around.


----------



## StalkingWilbur (9/2/14)

A lot of what's been said is pretty harsh. Especially considering we're talking about a country in which corruption runs so blatantly rampant and people with money caught with thousands of ecstasy pills ends up with a couple of years jail while those without get life for only a couple. I also think such harsh terms for marijuana is ridiculous. I should add that I don't smoke it (anymore at least) because I don't like the effects, but to pretend it's as harmful as drugs like meth and heroin is completely insane. 

The ADF tipped off the Indonesians about the Australians involved in the Bali 9. Scott Rush's father contacted officials and tried to get them to stop him from leaving the country. I'm not saying that its their job to babysit people and stop them from doing dumb shit, but surely that wasn't the appropriate course of action given the endemic corruption and severe penalties.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (9/2/14)

Well known how corrupt other countries like that are...so I have even less sympathy if you get caught. The risks are known regardless of how we view how harmfull different drugs are. You play the game....dont cry when you get caught out.


----------



## wide eyed and legless (9/2/14)

There are big signs at the airport and you would have to be utterly stupid not to know that drug running in those countries is punishable by death.
Stu you don't give someone the death penalty for being stupid, as I said before I don't have any empathy for people who break the law and get caught.
I did the most stupid things when I was young, even in Indonesia, so much that my brother had to change his wedding plans from Bali to Port Douglas because I am not to darken Indonesia's doorstep again.
As far as I am concerned the death penalty is wrong in certain circumstances, and mules aren't one of them.


----------



## browndog (9/2/14)

What gets up my nose is that Channel 7 news felt that is was so concerning to the aussie public that they had the first 8 minutes of their broadcast dedicated to this with crossovers to reporters outside the prison and and then a live crossover to the office of the dude responsible for pardoning her...... so who gives a *&%#. Was she Nelson Mandela???? I bet channel 7 has money invested in this.

edit:spellin


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (9/2/14)

wide eyed and legless said:


> Stu you don't give someone the death penalty for being stupid,.


Their country, there law. Sure we here might give them a slap on the wrist, but that is here. If you are stupid enough to run drugs in a country that you know gives the death penalty for it then you have to face the consequences. If you get caught drinking alcohol in Saudi you get flogged or jailed...so visitors dont do it because they know the penalty. It might seem extreme to us, but it is their way of doing things. Their laws are harsh because they see it as the best deterent. Same as if you kill someone, you know you will go to jail for, so you cant argue that going to jail is extreme because you knew you would go to jail in the first place. If you dont like the idea of the death penalty for drug running, dont do it. You dont even have to be stupid to work it out. Is a few grand worth your life....Just saying they where stupid is a load of hot cock.


----------



## Liam_snorkel (9/2/14)

Yeah pretty sure Bali wasn't the intended destination for the massive bag of weed. Baggage handlers are known to use peoples luggage for moving stuff up and down the coast. Someone didn't pick it up from Sydney like they were supposed to.


----------



## Liam_snorkel (9/2/14)

And in other Indonesian news: Aceh is now implementing full sharia law. Place is fucked.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (9/2/14)

Liam_snorkel said:


> Yeah pretty sure Bali wasn't the intended destination for the massive bag of weed. Baggage handlers are known to use peoples luggage for moving stuff up and down the coast. Someone didn't pick it up from Sydney like they were supposed to.


Would have been an interesting phone call.." ...yeah sorry mate....had a sickie that day and missed the plane...oh well...shit happens eh."


----------



## pk.sax (13/2/14)

I had a gripe but forgot by the time I came to post this.


----------



## DJ_L3ThAL (13/2/14)

practicalfool said:


> I had a gripe but forgot by the time I came to post this.


Should have used your iPad to put in a memo, which could have then synced to your cloud and you could read it off on the home PC.


----------



## pk.sax (13/2/14)

Ok, genuine fwp - I don't have an iPad! Nor a laptop.

More genuine fwp, I was looking to buy a notebook, saw the 499 chromebooks- the new 14 inch hp one and thought, this would be good to use as a dual booter with linux. Then I can't make up my mind since I might be having to lug home a book from the new job anyway! Sigh. They also threaten to give me a phone to be contactable so I could end up with 2 phones, fml if it's a bloody android  life simplification is just not happening!


----------



## Dave70 (13/2/14)

Liam_snorkel said:


> And in other Indonesian news: Aceh is now implementing full sharia law. Place is fucked.


I posted this about a year ago. I'm sorry for them.

http://www.iol.co.za/motoring/bikes-quads-karts/new-law-women-must-ride-side-saddle-1.1448392#.Uvw_-85kn-4

Let the good times, (9 year old arranged marriages, wife stoning, homosexual executions, female genital mutilation) - roll.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (13/2/14)

Damn....I have found grey hairs in my beard.


----------



## Liam_snorkel (13/2/14)

my mouse occasionally double-clicks. This is disastrous when working over a slow VPN. Selecting multiple files from server to drag/drop onto local computer, turns into "open every file from server and tie shit up for ages (minutes)"


----------



## Mardoo (13/2/14)

One of my customers had the horrible experience - which she described as "a disaster" - of buying too much wine for her wine cellar.


----------



## sponge (13/2/14)

I'm trying to map some data points for an RTU at the moment. Some of the map files are only all of 20kb, yet take over 3min to load on this hardware, it's ridiculous.

The amount of coffees I've consumed during these times of waiting is getting a little bit silly.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (13/2/14)

Thats nothing. I still have 5kg of glazed popcorn to get thru.

Prob end up with diabeties


----------



## Dave70 (13/2/14)

I'm to lazy to exploit my own health cover and visit the optometrist. 

I've been squinting so hard to read architectural drawings this afternoon I'm gonna go home looking like ******* Lucy Liu. 

Or Renee Zellweger, for those who may find that comparison a bit, you know,_ off_.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (13/2/14)

If you grow titts like them your really going to be in trouble


----------



## DJ_L3ThAL (13/2/14)

What tits? They're men aren't they??


----------



## manticle (13/2/14)

Dave70 said:


> I'm to lazy to exploit my own health cover and visit the optometrist. I've been squinting so hard to read architectural drawings this afternoon I'm gonna go home looking like ******* Lucy Liu. Or Renee Zellweger, for those who may find that comparison a bit, you know,_ off_.



If you look like ******* either of those two, you're doing quite well for yourself. The only glasses necessary will contain a spirit or liqueur of your choice.
[/quote]


----------



## GuyQLD (13/2/14)

Dave70 said:


> I'm to lazy to exploit my own health cover and visit the optometrist.
> 
> I've been squinting so hard to read architectural drawings this afternoon I'm gonna go home looking like ******* Lucy Liu.
> 
> Or Renee Zellweger, for those who may find that comparison a bit, you know,_ off_.


You misogynist, I'm offended!


----------



## lukiferj (13/2/14)

Good news everyone. My regulator is fucked. Seems to be able to release enough gas to dispense a beer but can't force carb. It's going to take a week to carb this IPA at that rate.


----------



## Liam_snorkel (13/2/14)

Tried pulling it apart?


----------



## DJ_L3ThAL (13/2/14)

"Women sitting on motorbikes must not sit astride because it will provoke the male driver. It's also to protect women from an undesirable condition."

The undesirable "condition" of men raping them? W....T..... F.....


----------



## lukiferj (13/2/14)

Liam_snorkel said:


> Tried pulling it apart?


Nah not yet. Will give that a go over the weekend. Currently trolling the forum for reg threads.


----------



## Bribie G (24/2/14)

I just bought a kick arse 27 inch LED monitor. It has a VGA port and two HDMI ports but no DVI port.

My desktop has a DVI port and a VGA port but no HDMI ports.

Apparently DisplayPort is the new standard. Neither the monitor or the desktop has such a port.


Life is becoming increasingly hard for pensioners.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (24/2/14)

I have a colour TV that only has "ant-in."

You think you have problems.


----------



## lukiferj (24/2/14)

Further to my regulator dying, it also managed to leak an almost full bottle of gas out. A new reg and more gas for the win.


----------



## pk.sax (24/2/14)

Ducatiboy stu said:


> I have a colour TV that only has "ant-in."You think you have problems.


You have a TV?!?! And I thought amusing yourselves was the rage.


----------



## idzy (24/2/14)

Wife just finished my last Feral Hop Hog!


----------



## Online Brewing Supplies (24/2/14)

idzy said:


> Wife just finished my last Feral Hop Hog!


Good wife, bad situation
Mine doesnt drink , so bad wife , good situation.
Nev


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (24/2/14)

practicalfool said:


> You have a TV?!?! And I thought amusing yourselves was the rage.


Its even one of them expensive colour ones.


----------



## Black Devil Dog (24/2/14)

I couldn't get my AppleTV device to connect to my Optoma HD DLP projector via my Pioneer AV receiver, because the HDMI coming from my Apple TV device couldn't downscale to component, which is how my Optoma HD DLP projector is connected to my Pioneer AV receiver.

So I had to buy an HDMI>Component converter FFS. 

Fortunately, my Panasonic LCD HDTV upstairs, has an HDMI port and I didn't have the same issues with it.

Unfortunately, because I've got the Apple TV device operating properly, it means that my Panasonic BLURAY recorder is now only used to watch tv shows that I've recorded and about 1500 songs that I've recorded off Rage, but not BluRay discs that I used to hire from the video store.

Talk about opening a can of worms.........


----------



## New_guy (24/2/14)

Bribie G said:


> I just bought a kick arse 27 inch LED monitor. It has a VGA port and two HDMI ports but no DVI port.
> 
> My desktop has a DVI port and a VGA port but no HDMI ports.
> 
> ...


DVI to HDMI cable


----------



## pk.sax (25/2/14)

It's hot here.

I'm being lazy, should get up and go buy a fan.


----------



## Lemon (1/3/14)

What is with TV programming? 
Triple the number of channels, halve the watchable shows.

Wasn't "quantum of solace" on a month ago?

Grumpy old man showing through....aaaagh!

Lemon


----------



## peas_and_corn (2/3/14)

Is terrestrial TV still a thing? Huh.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (3/3/14)

peas_and_corn said:


> Is terrestrial TV still a thing? Huh.


Yep.....apparently its now in colour


----------



## Liam_snorkel (7/3/14)

FWP: switching from rugby union in high definition to rugby league in standard definition, and it's disappointing.


----------



## lukiferj (7/3/14)

Liam_snorkel said:


> FWP: switching from rugby union in high definition to rugby league in standard definition, and it's disappointing.


 And also, having to watch any kind of Australian football.


----------



## Liam_snorkel (7/3/14)

Well yeah that too. Switched from Super Rugby (international) to NRL (domestic)


----------



## lukiferj (7/3/14)

A few months to go before the nfl starts. Knicks are playing tomorrow morning at 10:30.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (8/3/14)

Some asswipe came in my yard and stole the kids bike


----------



## wide eyed and legless (8/3/14)

That happened to me with my sons bike, got stolen from school offered $20 reward for information, found the culprit when I went round to the house the bike was being stripped, told the father to reassemble the bike and give it back with no consequence's, he agreed, the mother came out and went off her head because I had accused her son of stealing.
Reported to police left in their hands.


----------



## Bribie G (10/3/14)

Friend moved down here from QLD and only had a small analogue TV. Anal og was switched off here over a year ago. My neighbours had a 37 inch LCD surplus to requirements so I put them in touch and she got a really good set with excellent picture and sound (but oldish, silver colour, only 720p, no HDMI slot, had to get a tuna, that era)

Anyways she's bought a new LCD / LED with all the bells and tried to give away the 37 incher - no interest whatsoever so it's gone to Vinnies with the STB. Amazing that it only seems like yesterday they had pallets of 26 inch tube TVs at every Kmart and Big W for giveaway price of $400....... she paid about that for her 42".

Tough life on the pension


----------



## Mattress (11/3/14)

When my Hydrometer stops spinning and bouncing in the tube the markings end up on the other side from where I'm standing, EVERY TIME!
I'm sure it's doing it just to piss me off.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (11/3/14)

Bit like buttered toast and carpet


----------



## sponge (12/3/14)




----------



## spog (12/3/14)

Mattress said:


> When my Hydrometer stops spinning and bouncing in the tube the markings end up on the other side from where I'm standing, EVERY TIME!
> I'm sure it's doing it just to piss me off.


Thank fcuk it happens to someone else,I am relieved to hear that I am not the only person who is hated by the Hydrometer gods.
Cheers...spog..


----------



## GrumpyPaul (12/3/14)

Trying decide which to read first....


"First world Problems" or "Continuing Rant" threads when they are side by side on the View New page.

Thank god no one posted in the "No Topic" thread at the same time.

I could have entered a spiral of indecision for hours


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (12/3/14)

GrumpyPaul said:


> I could have entered a spiral of indecision for hours


Typical day on AHB


----------



## GrumpyPaul (12/3/14)

GrumpyPaul said:


> I could have entered a spiral of indecision for hours





Ducatiboy stu said:


> Typical day on AHB


Thats what I thought...but then I changed my mind.


----------



## pk.sax (12/3/14)

That was a fwp thread worthy thought. Although, cribbing about fwp is more like ffwp.


----------



## Bastow (18/3/14)

I just smashed my hydrometer. First one In 3 years I've broken. Had to buy another one off ebay as I don't live near a brew shop.


----------



## wide eyed and legless (18/3/14)

My biggest problem is what grundies to wear on a flight from Melbourne to Edinburgh without giving myself a major wedgie and having to stand in the aisle and subtly reorganise my wedding tackle.


----------



## Liam_snorkel (18/3/14)

just freeball


----------



## lukiferj (18/3/14)

Liam_snorkel said:


> just freeball



You'll get bitten by bull ants


----------



## manticle (18/3/14)

Female equivalent of freeball is freelab.


----------



## Droopy Brew (18/3/14)

Freeflappin


----------



## Droopy Brew (18/3/14)

During my lunch break I thought I would be proactive and duck home to pull some Red Emperor out of the freezer for dinner tonight.

I get home and start to cut it up and only then do i realise I have pulled out a big slab of Coral Trout.


Absolutely filthy.


----------



## Forever Wort (20/3/14)

When I eat lunch at work, one sandwich is not enough, but two sandwiches is too much.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (20/3/14)

You get to have lunch....luxury


----------



## pk.sax (20/3/14)

Liquid lunches also count Stu. Relax.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (20/3/14)

I had a few Vintage Ales on tap for lunch today....yes...they where rather relaxing...


----------



## bradsbrew (20/3/14)

Forever Wort said:


> When I eat lunch at work, one sandwich is not enough, but two sandwiches is too much.


Next time try 1.5 sandwiches. You can then calculate +bite or -bite for the following days. You should have it sorted within a week.



Your welcome!


----------



## angus_grant (21/3/14)

oh man, get this. This morning on the bus on the way into work my phone kept dropping in and out of 4G connection to 3G.

Sometimes it took ages to load a page on AHB.

I'm writing to my local member!!

Forever Wort: Just eat your sandwiches for breakfast and that will let you know how much to eat at lunch. Then pack accordingly. Or eat 1.5 sandwiches and leave remaining half in fridge. Just bring one sandwich next day.


----------



## Liam_snorkel (21/3/14)

or, switch to thicker/larger bread slices, and load up 1 sandwich 50% more than usual.

this won't solve the problem if it's psychological though.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (21/3/14)

Or pack 2 smaller ones.


----------



## angus_grant (21/3/14)

Get your stomach stapled so it only needs 1 sandwich to be full.

Edit: Bonus points for listing a first world solution to a first world problem. "ooh, I have too much food to eat so I better have to staple my stomach to control food intake"


----------



## Bribie G (21/3/14)

I have a new urn, given to me this morning.

My friend's partner passed away about six weeks ago and she's off to Brisbane for family reunion etc. I dropped her off to the Station this morning and she suddenly hands me this container and says " would you look after Edward while I'm away".

:unsure: :unsure: :unsure:

Problem is where in First World society do you put an urn? They used to put it on the mantlepiece but we only have ducted air. It's in the garage at the moment, but I had considered placing it where he could watch the TV, but that was freaking out SWMBO.

I might put it in the fermenting fridge to keep the Amber Ale company, I'm sure he would have approved.

Edit: reason she couldn't take it with her was that he always maintained "no way am I ever going back to fucken Queensland". B)


----------



## Liam_snorkel (21/3/14)

the pantry?


----------



## angus_grant (21/3/14)

Took me until the 2nd paragraph to work out you weren't talking about a BIAB urn. :blush:


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (21/3/14)

Prob not in the bedroom then...


----------



## Bribie G (21/3/14)

Ed is finally on a shelf overlooking the kegerator.

Pouring one now you crazy Welsh bastard, should have stuck around longer and had a few pints with me :kooi:


----------



## AndrewQLD (21/3/14)

Why don't you sit him in the volvo?


----------



## bradsbrew (21/3/14)

AndrewQLD said:


> Why don't you sit him in the volvo?


At least he'll be safe.


----------



## contrarian (22/4/14)

Just had my fourth keg blow in the space of 36 hours! The first 2 went in consecutive pours! In staring down the barrel if having to go to a shop and buy beer as the stuff I have fermenting isn't quite there yet. 

Buying beer from a shop I tell ya!


----------



## sp0rk (22/4/14)

Just noticed the admins/mods have the big ugly titles from HBT
Bring back our old ones, subtlety is the key here!
Is this a sign of things to come?
</firstworldproblemsrant>


----------



## Liam_snorkel (22/4/14)

haha they really are an eyesore. Now adblocked :icon_cheers:


----------



## manticle (22/4/14)

Another for changing the badge back. I don't like mine much.


----------



## sp0rk (23/4/14)

The Pro Member titles have just changed to Forum Supporter titles from HBT (only for some people though...)
Honestly, they're ugly as hell
Please change it back Austin!


----------



## geneabovill (25/4/14)

So the thermostat in my serving fridge finally packed it in.. Now have two frozen kegs.

On the upside, the porter was pouring the unfrozen alcohol concentrate - I'd put it at about 12% ABV and it was DELISH. Tempted to pull the ice block out of that keg and keep it as a robust porter.


----------



## GuyQLD (25/4/14)

My BIAB bag split during mash out. This is after 6 months of not brewing because BIAB is starting to shit me off.

Who wants to help me build a 3v?


----------



## Bribie G (15/5/14)

Willie drives round to Bribie's in Volvo yesterday. Bribie and Willie go into Bunnings etc together in Bribie's car.

Bribie drops Willie home afterwards.

**** - the Volvo's been stolen. Mate, does 000 work on a mobile or do you have to dial 112????

Penny finally drops.

oops

Double senior moment. :blink:


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (15/5/14)

People who cant be bothered doing a little bit of research....then question when told there wrong...


----------



## Bribie G (15/5/14)

On your Winter stew thread I asked how to avoid dumplings collapsing.

Anyway I went onto Google (via Firefox not AHB) and found this interesting thread. 

:unsure:


----------



## Funk then Funk1 (15/5/14)

Trying to learn something new, so asking questions, and getting answers by pompus twats who think they are so superior because they learnt the info your after soooo long ago!!!


----------



## Bribie G (15/5/14)

And in the red corner


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (15/5/14)

Give that man a hug


----------



## Funk then Funk1 (15/5/14)

I don't need a hug, just a bit of information. I come on here to try to learn a few things to improve my brewing, which is what I though AHB was all about and is for the most part, just don't need condsending twats, carrying on like their time is too vauble to give a decent answer. I though all the DASFFS was finished...obviously not, for some?


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (15/5/14)

Now you need a hug.


----------



## Funk then Funk1 (15/5/14)

No, I don't need a hug after a vent, I need a home brew!


----------



## GrumpyPaul (15/5/14)

He doesnt need a hug - he picked up a cheap one at a garage sale.


----------



## Camo6 (15/5/14)

Funk then Funk1 said:


> I don't need a hug, just a bit of information. I come on here to try to learn a few things to improve my brewing, which is what I though AHB was all about and is for the most part, just don't need condsending twats, carrying on like their time is too vauble to give a decent answer. I though all the DASFFS was finished...obviously not, for some?


Whoa whoa! Simmer doown Funkster. It's all par for the course. The Muppets would have been shit without Statler and Waldorf.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=14njUwJUg1I


----------



## mckenry (15/5/14)

Our lights are dimming / flicking. Rang the energy company and found there is a low voltage in our area. Had to turn off all appliances with motors. That means the beer may warm slightly! argh. muthafekas.


----------



## pk.sax (15/5/14)

Funk then Funk1 said:


> I don't need a hug, just a bit of information. I come on here to try to learn a few things to improve my brewing, which is what I though AHB was all about and is for the most part, just don't need condsending twats, carrying on like their time is too vauble to give a decent answer. I though all the DASFFS was finished...obviously not, for some?


Refer below. btw, I don't read most shitfight on here anymore.


----------



## philmud (16/5/14)

Ok, so last night those mouth-breathing wankers from Adelaide beat Collingwood & then later on I couldn't get to sleep. Fast forward to 3am, an episode of Boardwalk Empire & GoT later I finally got to sleep. Wake up at 6:30, running late so pull into Maccas for a dirty breakfast. The stupid ***** forgot to put a ******* egg on my ******* McMuffin AND the aresehole making that poor excuse for coffee (I know, I know) didn't put the lid on my coffee properly. So while I'm chomping away on my mcfucking eggless McMuffin I spill hot ******* pseudo-coffee all down my motherfucking shirt. Back home to change my shirt, still gnawing on my mcdisappointment and sipping my ******* poor excuse for a ******* latte. Arrive at work too late to park in the carpark, which was where I planned to catch forty ******* winks at lunch time. Then, my work PC won't switch on and I've got some ******* work to do.

So, **** Adelaide, **** sleep, **** McDonalds and **** Bill Gates.

On the plus side, I won a growler from Thunder Rd Brewers, so I'm picking that up this afternoon.


----------



## spog (16/5/14)

Prince Imperial said:


> Ok, so last night those mouth-breathing wankers from Adelaide beat Collingwood & then later on I couldn't get to sleep. Fast forward to 3am, an episode of Boardwalk Empire & GoT later I finally got to sleep. Wake up at 6:30, running late so pull into Maccas for a dirty breakfast. The stupid c*nts forgot to put a ******* egg on my ******* McMuffin AND the aresehole making that poor excuse for coffee (I know, I know) didn't put the lid on my coffee properly. So while I'm chomping away on my mcfucking eggless McMuffin I spill hot ******* pseudo-coffee all down my motherfucking shirt. Back home to change my shirt, still gnawing on my mcdisappointment and sipping my ******* poor excuse for a ******* latte. Arrive at work too late to park in the carpark, which was where I planned to catch forty ******* winks at lunch time. Then, my work PC won't switch on and I've got some ******* work to do.
> So, **** Adelaide, **** sleep, **** McDonalds and **** Bill Gates.
> On the plus side, I won a growler from Thunder Rd Brewers, so I'm picking that up this afternoon.


Your day is only going to get worse.
1. That Maccas is going to clog your bowel and make you cross eyed .
2. You will drop that growler.
3. By this time you are so ******* angry that on the drive home you will involved in some serious road rage.
4. Someone will post the road rage incident on you tube it will end up on the Rant thread and we will all laugh at you.
Ahh I'm a cheery bastard 
Cheers....spog...


----------



## philmud (16/5/14)

I'll consider the ledger in my favour if I manage not to drop the growler.


----------



## Liam_snorkel (16/5/14)

It's Friday. Flip your desk upside down and ragequit at lunch time.

Arrive monday and pretend nothing happened.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (16/5/14)

I reffer to a McDonalds breafast as the Araldite breakfast. Sets had 5 min after eaten.


----------



## philmud (16/5/14)

Liam, that's a great idea. I might send an all staff memo:

"You're all fucked, I'm off to the ******* pub" 

Stu, absolutely. It's an edible, food-like construct. Surely NASA can find a use for it.


----------



## Droopy Brew (16/5/14)

Prince Imperial said:


> Ok, so last night those mouth-breathing wankers from Adelaide beat Collingwood & then later on I couldn't get to sleep. Fast forward to 3am, an episode of Boardwalk Empire & GoT later I finally got to sleep. Wake up at 6:30, running late so pull into Maccas for a dirty breakfast. The stupid c*nts forgot to put a ******* egg on my ******* McMuffin AND the aresehole making that poor excuse for coffee (I know, I know) didn't put the lid on my coffee properly. So while I'm chomping away on my mcfucking eggless McMuffin I spill hot ******* pseudo-coffee all down my motherfucking shirt. Back home to change my shirt, still gnawing on my mcdisappointment and sipping my ******* poor excuse for a ******* latte. Arrive at work too late to park in the carpark, which was where I planned to catch forty ******* winks at lunch time. Then, my work PC won't switch on and I've got some ******* work to do.
> 
> So, **** Adelaide, **** sleep, **** McDonalds and **** Bill Gates.
> 
> On the plus side, I won a growler from Thunder Rd Brewers, so I'm picking that up this afternoon.


My day has just gotten so much better after reading of a Collingwood supporter in dispair.
Pity about the growler but otherwise all good- I have no rant to contribute today, all is well with the world.


----------



## GrumpyPaul (16/5/14)

Prince Imperial said:


> Ok, so last night those mouth-breathing wankers from Adelaide beat Collingwood & then later on I couldn't get to sleep. Fast forward to 3am, an episode of Boardwalk Empire & GoT later I finally got to sleep. Wake up at 6:30, running late so pull into Maccas for a dirty breakfast. The stupid c*nts forgot to put a ******* egg on my ******* McMuffin AND the aresehole making that poor excuse for coffee (I know, I know) didn't put the lid on my coffee properly. So while I'm chomping away on my mcfucking eggless McMuffin I spill hot ******* pseudo-coffee all down my motherfucking shirt. Back home to change my shirt, still gnawing on my mcdisappointment and sipping my ******* poor excuse for a ******* latte. Arrive at work too late to park in the carpark, which was where I planned to catch forty ******* winks at lunch time. Then, my work PC won't switch on and I've got some ******* work to do.
> 
> So, **** Adelaide, **** sleep, **** McDonalds and **** Bill Gates.
> 
> On the plus side, I won a growler from Thunder Rd Brewers, so I'm picking that up this afternoon.


Please refrain from ranting in the "First World Problem" thread - your tone is clearly rantish and therefore should be contained in the appropriate "Continuing Rant" thread.

For clarification.


My footy team lost = first world problem
I didnt get an egg in my mcMuffin = first world problem
I spilled my latte = first world problem
I'm tired cause I stayed up late watching (probably pirated) TV shows = first world problem.
My Car park is too far away to have a nap in a lunch time = first world problem

However....

"My footy team lost" + "I didnt get an egg in my mcMuffin" + "I spilled my latte" + "I'm tired cause I stayed up late watching (probably pirated) TV shows" + "My Car park is too far away to have a nap in a lunch time" = Rant


----------



## philmud (16/5/14)

Droopy, I haven't dropped the growler. I'll enjoy it while watching the 2010 GF replay on DVD.

Grumpy, I think you may have a point. For clarification, how many FWP's could I include and still slip under the "continuing rant" threshold? Does it vary by body weight, and do I need to be careful if I'm on an empty stomach?


----------



## Bribie G (16/5/14)

My wifi won't reach as far as the toilet.


----------



## bradsbrew (16/5/14)

Bribie G said:


> My wifi won't reach as far as the toilet.


That's a cute name for it Bribie. Whole new meaning to any phrase including wifi.

Just turned on the wifi.
My wifi just dropped out.
Someone is connected to my wifi.
Just went to McDonald's to get some free wifi.
I can't see my wifi on your device.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (16/5/14)

A wifi stole my baby.....


----------



## goomboogo (16/5/14)

Bribie G said:


> My wifi won't reach as far as the toilet.


Your WiFi must be shithouse.


----------



## GuyQLD (16/5/14)

goomboogo said:


> goomboogo, on 16 May 2014 - 7:03 PM, said:
> 
> Your WiFi must be shithouse.


If that were the case, he would get wifi in the toilet.


----------



## Droopy Brew (16/5/14)

Prince Imperial said:


> Droopy, I haven't dropped the growler. I'll enjoy it while watching the 2010 GF replay on DVD.
> 
> Grumpy, I think you may have a point. For clarification, how many FWP's could I include and still slip under the "continuing rant" threshold? Does it vary by body weight, and do I need to be careful if I'm on an empty stomach?


The way your day is going you will turn on the video to find it is the first version of the 2010 granny.


----------



## spog (16/5/14)

spog said:


> Your day is only going to get worse.
> 1. That Maccas is going to clog your bowel and make you cross eyed .
> 2. You will drop that growler.
> 3. By this time you are so ******* angry that on the drive home you will involved in some serious road rage.
> ...


Well that bit me on the arse,see the rant thread post 838.


----------



## philmud (16/5/14)

Fucken hell, what a dick-around. Hope the beers are going down a treat!


----------



## spog (17/5/14)

Prince Imperial said:


> Fucken hell, what a dick-around. Hope the beers are going down a treat!


That they did. Cheers...spog...


----------



## GuyQLD (21/5/14)

Went into the Pub 5 times thinking I'd accidently gone into the all grain forum. 

Then realized that a cleanup was needed on aisle 5.


----------



## Airgead (21/5/14)

I got a spam PM from the forum admin and its made me all cross.

Day - ruined.


----------



## Dave70 (21/5/14)

Airgead said:


> I got a spam PM from the forum admin and its made me all cross.
> 
> Day - ruined.


Me to.

Amway's not my cup of tea either.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (21/5/14)

Cant afford pressure cooker/autoclave.

Only has a basic kettle.


Life is so cruel sometimes.


----------



## Camo6 (21/5/14)

Some young **** at work today tried to do something differently from how I'd have done it. It worked for him and had no bearing on my work but I still tried to debase his method cause I'm older and know better. Kids these days.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (21/5/14)

I would have taken him to the pub and got him proper drunk, whilst limiting the amount one self drinks. 

Then get him to do same task next morning in a horrified state.....and proceed to ask why you are feeling fine and dandy and not hungover.

Used to love doing that to apprentices


----------



## Bribie G (21/5/14)

My smart comments about mason jars all got deleted by the mods.
Pity because my mason jar has stopped bubbling and I don't know how to deal with that.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (21/5/14)

Buy a kitten.


----------



## Camo6 (21/5/14)

Ducatiboy stu said:


> I would have taken him to the pub and got him proper drunk, whilst limiting the amount one self drinks.
> 
> Then get him to do same task next morning in a horrified state.....and proceed to ask why you are feeling fine and dandy and not hungover.
> 
> Used to love doing that to apprentices


I wish I could afford to. I'm trying to pay off a pressure cooker you know. 




Bribie G said:


> My smart comments about mason jars all got deleted by the mods.
> Pity because my mason jar has stopped bubbling and I don't know how to deal with that.


Did you really expect any derogatory remarks about Mason's not to be censored? Might as well call them Illuminati jars.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (21/5/14)

Are they the same guys who suppress positive comments about Labor in the Murdoch press..


----------



## AHB_Admin (22/5/14)

http://aussiehomebrewer.com/topic/80263-personal-message-from-austin/

There are message less kids in Africa that would love to get a message from me.


----------



## Mardoo (22/5/14)

So send them to Africa!

(You ever say that to your Mum?)


----------



## philmud (22/5/14)

IT department at work trying to justify their nerdy existence by rolling out software updates without testing them properly, then rolling them back (improperly). Have had to wait for windows updates to occur before I could log in for the last THREE mornings. IT, you can leave through the moon door.


----------



## Cervantes (22/5/14)

Ducatiboy stu said:


> You bunch of whingers, you guys think you have it tough..
> 
> My Remote has flat baterries and have to get up to change the channel manually


Can you do this???????

Wow. This place is an education.


----------



## CapnK (23/5/14)

Prince Imperial said:


> IT department at work trying to justify their nerdy existence by rolling out software updates without testing them properly, then rolling them back (improperly). Have had to wait for windows updates to occur before I could log in for the last THREE mornings. IT, you can leave through the moon door.


 No time for testing things thoroughly. Got to keep feeding the family/extended family/non-techy acquaintances their latest downloaded TV shows *cough* GoT *cough*.
And writing polite emails to the same family about why it's not unreasonable that a 10yr old mac with a long out of date browser can't access the latest Anthony Callea site.


----------



## Bridges (24/5/14)

Have to work a night shift tonight, just dumped the last of the cascade I had into my fermenter (CCing a pale). Since then I've been cleaning up and every time I open the cupboard under the sink to put something in the bin BAM the empty pack smell tells me I should be having a beer. Must fight temptation. No beer...


----------



## philmud (24/6/14)

Mailing some beer to my brother in Sydney & I smashed a bottle of IPA on my way to the car. Broken glass all over the porch, in the dark, smelling ******* lovely. No one could see my bitter tears.


----------



## Forever Wort (24/6/14)

It was raining so I had to drive to work.


----------



## mr_wibble (24/6/14)

Prince Imperial said:


> Mailing some beer to my brother in Sydney & I smashed a bottle of IPA on my way to the car. Broken glass all over the porch, in the dark, smelling ******* lovely.


Did you get much glass in your tongue?


----------



## philmud (24/6/14)

Collateral damage.


----------



## Bribie G (24/6/14)

Council are doing a kerbside hard waste collection and I have an old 32 inch LCD to dump, but E-waste isn't covered in this collection so I have to drive 12k to dispose of it at the waste station.


----------



## Droopy Brew (25/6/14)

Smash it up and stuff it into an old couch/ washing machine/ fridge that you are chucking. Ghetto solution to FW problem.


----------



## Liam_snorkel (25/6/14)

Just put a sign on it "free TV" and it'll disappear pretty quick. Someone else's problem then.


----------



## manticle (25/6/14)

No - put it out front with a sign saying tv for sale and watch it walk.


----------



## StalkingWilbur (25/6/14)

Just put it on gumtree. 

I put a fridge on that was no longer wotking and it had gone within a few hours of my place.


----------



## jyo (26/6/14)

Just throw it in a local park or water way. All the cool kids are doing it around here.


----------



## Bribie G (29/6/14)

With the cold snap my Expressi coffee machine is taking much longer to heat up to working temperature.


----------



## Camo6 (29/6/14)

My expressi needs half my weight on the pod lever to keep it down. Still better than Nescafe though.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (29/6/14)

Its getting cold. I had to grab another blanket


----------



## Not For Horses (29/6/14)

Hollandaise sauce split this morning. Completely ruined the presentation of my eggs benedict. I barely made it through the day.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (29/6/14)

Thats enough to make you slash your wrists with a spoon.


----------



## Forever Wort (30/6/14)

The Internet cut out for 10 minutes at work this morning.


----------



## Bribie G (3/7/14)

I used too much butter in my dumplings and they turned out more like little balls of cake.


----------



## Not For Horses (3/7/14)

Are you going to post a bribe balls recipe thread in the same vein as Angus?


----------



## Kiwimike (3/7/14)

My air guitar has broken and I missed out on the auction one!


----------



## i-a-n (19/7/14)

Knock yourself a new one together before they tax fresh air


----------



## Pogierob (19/7/14)

Kiwimike said:


> My air guitar has broken and I missed out on the auction one!


I've got a spare. If you pay for shipping and throw in a couple of your best brews it is yours.


----------



## petesbrew (20/7/14)

Found out the hard way why I see so many Commodores with missing fuel caps. Those things snap easily.

So far the glue is holding tight.


----------



## Pogierob (21/7/14)

Keg fridge died 3 days ago,
I have three brews fermenting
One brew cubed
and am currently brewing a Saison

I'm going to have to pull out the bottle stash until I do my new Fridge build.


----------



## pk.sax (2/8/14)

It is too cold and I want to keep lying in bed but have an appointment in an hour...


----------



## Mattress (2/8/14)

The power went out in our house the other day.
I had to re-set the fuse.

I forgot about the kegerator. It restarts at a couple of degrees higher than what I like my beers.

I was drinking beer that was slightly warmer than preferred temperature for 2 days before I realised.


----------



## Donske (2/8/14)

I have 3 fermenters with beer ready to keg and a 4th that is a couple of days off but only 2 free fridge spaces, I'm going to have to make a decision about which 2 I feel like drinking first, damn choices.


----------



## bradsbrew (2/8/14)

I have to buy beer because I am too lazy to pour 1 of my cubes into a fermenter.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (2/8/14)

I have to buy a new bottle capper.


----------



## Donske (3/8/14)

I procrastinated like a boss all weekend and didn't end up brewing, slightly annoyed with myself right now as I'll need to knock out a back to back brew day next weekend to keep up with my planned ferment schedule.


----------



## sjp770 (4/8/14)

Power dropped out for a minute the other day... Went to have a shower and I had to turn on the instant gas hot water! Arggh.. Then I had to reset the oven clock. the things we put up with!


----------



## Online Brewing Supplies (5/8/14)

cold weather and thin pants, I think it better with out pants at all.
Same with mesh sports shoes, bloody cold.


----------



## Pogierob (6/8/14)

Had to go to bunnings tonight, they don't have sausage sizzles on week nights.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (6/8/14)

Rob.P said:


> Had to go to bunnings tonight, they don't have sausage sizzles on week nights.


Only during the day...


----------



## Pogierob (6/8/14)

Ducatiboy stu said:


> Only during the day...


rude...


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (6/8/14)

You think thats rude...

Bunninks have as a " condition" for groups that hold sausage sizzles, you can only sell what they tell you, and you cant vary it.

A few mates of mine from the local footy club got a letter because they where selling 2 sausages in 2 peices of bread. Bunninks say you can only sell 1 sausage in 1 peice of bread. This is because they want all stores with sausage sizzle to offer the same product....


----------



## Camo6 (6/8/14)

And you can't sell any drinks they sell in store.

There's a long waiting list to get a booking around our area but from what I hear it's pretty lucrative. Worth it for clubs and charities I guess.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (6/8/14)

Camo6 said:


> And you can't sell any drinks they sell in store.
> 
> There's a long waiting list to get a booking around our area but from what I hear it's pretty lucrative. Worth it for clubs and charities I guess.


Yes...but you have to go to Bunnings ...which means you end up buying shit you dont need, because they dont actually have what you want...

And I really get the shits with the girls who stand at the the door and say " hello...how are you"...and " Goodbye..hope you have a good day"


----------



## sponge (7/8/14)

I'd prefer they don't have the door person. It's always such a forced hello, and not necessary.

I was there last night and there was only 1 checkout open. It was a younger girl who seemed fairly new, and there was an older lady standing at the door doing the old hello, goodbye. The line was about 7 people long and even though the lady kept looking across and seeing the line getting longer, she continued to stand there and not open up one of the other 9 unused registers.

They didn't even have the self checkout open!

At least she said goodbye to me on the way out, I guess...


----------



## Dave70 (7/8/14)

Just once I'd like to hand the door person at Bunnings my coat and hat, thank them and keep walking.

Then as I exit, ask them where a man can find a decent steak and request they promptly hail a taxi.


----------



## i-a-n (7/8/14)

Dave70 said:


> Just once I'd like to hand the door person at Bunnings my coat and hat, thank them and keep walking.
> 
> Then as I exit, ask them where a man can find a decent steak and request they promptly hail a taxi.


Nah, I'd rather just win the lottery.


----------



## Bridges (7/8/14)

My coffee machine has died. Guess I'll have to drink beer to combat the caffeine withdrawals. This problem will then probably compound in the morning when I'm hungover and in desperate need of a coffee...


----------



## peas_and_corn (7/8/14)

[youtube]http://youtu.be/bwvlbJ0h35A[/youtube]


----------



## tavas (7/8/14)

Bridges said:


> My coffee machine has died. Guess I'll have to drink beer to combat the caffeine withdrawals. This problem will then probably compound in the morning when I'm hungover and in desperate need of a coffee...


Buy an iced coffee. Combined with a bacon and egg toastie they have the power to cure cancer. Or stuff.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (7/8/14)

Dave70 said:


> Just once I'd like to hand the door person at Bunnings my coat and hat, thank them and keep walking.
> 
> Then as I exit, ask them where a man can find a decent steak and request they promptly hail a taxi.


I so have thought about doing that..

The other is " can I help you"...yes...."Take these kids while I go and look for stuff you dont have"


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (7/8/14)

tavas said:


> Buy an iced coffee. Combined with a bacon and egg toastie they have the power to cure cancer. Or stuff.


Nothing beats a bacon & egg roll and good coffee served by a nice waitress


or you could just go to Mcd.............


----------



## Kumamoto_Ken (8/8/14)

Taking a day off today to brew as there are other family commitments this weekend (travelling for MIL's 70th celebrations).
The kids are annoying me as I try to eat my bacon and eggs for brekky though...and they keep talking while I'm trying to hear Ben and Holly/Peppa Pig.
And it's going to be cold in the garage.


----------



## Dave70 (8/8/14)

peas_and_corn said:


> [youtube]http://youtu.be/bwvlbJ0h35A[/youtube]


You know you're out of the loop when you don't even know the song being parodied. 



Ducatiboy stu said:


> I so have thought about doing that..
> 
> The other is " can I help you"...yes...."Take these kids while I go and look for stuff you dont have"


I must admit, in between staff who seem indifferent to stock being mauled / pulled off the shelf / put back in the wrong spot / or wheeled about in the case of mowers, kid sized trolleys, and a caged mini playground conveniently positioned next to the Bunnings version of a cafe, its not a bad place for a little slack parenting.

They always seem to get somehow though. Those sale bins are so tempting. I'll never want for extension leads or LED torches at my house.


----------



## Bridges (8/8/14)

Brought an exciting new coffee machine today. Had to have a few goes just to get it right. May not sleep for the next few days due to the amount of caffeine I've had this afternoon.


----------



## mje1980 (13/8/14)

Posts with nothing but a link in the text body. I can't be bothered coz so often they turn out to be uninteresting.

Give me the gist please


----------



## Camo6 (13/8/14)

Try this


----------



## spog (14/8/14)

Camo6 said:


> Try this


 Couldn't help myself,I clicked on sex.


----------



## mckenry (14/8/14)

This mornings rant from me.
When The F did lettuce on its own become 'salad'? That's bullshit. Went to the Courthouse Hotel in Newtown last night. Had a few OK beers, ordered a meal, which from the menu, I could choose between 'Chips & Salad' or 'Mash & Veg'
Took the Chips and Salad option only to get Chips and Lettuce.
This has also happened to me at a Thai restaurant of all places!

Chefs, Cooks, Restaurateurs: Lettuce, when drizzled with oil and a pinch of rock salt, does not magically become Salad! 

So, first world problem: Affording to be able to eat out, drink overpriced beer, walk home drunk in the dark and be perfectly safe and still be able to complain about the 'Salad'.


----------



## Kumamoto_Ken (14/8/14)

mckenry said:


> So, first world problem: Affording to be able to eat out, drink overpriced beer, walk home drunk in the dark and be perfectly safe and still be able to complain about the 'Salad'.


You don't win friends with salad...


----------



## pk.sax (15/8/14)

You don't get/make a salad to get 'friends'.


----------



## Kumamoto_Ken (15/8/14)

practicalfool said:


> You don't get/make a salad to get 'friends'.


It was a quote/song from an old Simpsons episode (hence the gif) that I thought tied in with mckenrys first world problem.

No offence was intended to any salads or salad eaters, even if they are lame.


----------



## Jaded and Bitter (16/8/14)

mckenry said:


> This mornings rant from me.
> When The F did lettuce on its own become 'salad'? That's bullshit. Went to the Courthouse Hotel in Newtown last night. Had a few OK beers, ordered a meal, which from the menu, I could choose between 'Chips & Salad' or 'Mash & Veg'
> Took the Chips and Salad option only to get Chips and Lettuce.
> This has also happened to me at a Thai restaurant of all places!
> ...


Ooooh this has been building up for years.

What really gets to me about "salad" at pubs/restaurants is all the fiddly, scraggy, trendy new forms of lettuce, which are impossible to actually get on the fork and you end up getting salad dressing round your mouth from some stray leaf scrag, and its inefficient too, cause you only get 1-2 small leaves in each go and theres like 100 of the little f*ckers.

AND theres those slithers of carrot an shite!

You don't eat it all and you get the old "eat your salad"!!!!!!!

Give me some quartered tomatoes, sliced cucumber, red onion slices and iceberg lettuce, which I can chuck into my mouth efficiently during parts of the conversation I'm trying to listen to and get down to business and eat the steak/pork/lamb/chicken/duck/quail/fish etc and chips I really care about.

I don't have time for those fiddly scraggy new fangled lettuces, give me a a couple leaves of iceberg I can fold up into parcels and eat in a couple of goes please.

First world problem - shitty lettuce


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (16/8/14)

And been sprouts on top.....been sprouts = Lucerne = hay...

Hay is for horses...not salad..


----------



## Not For Horses (16/8/14)

Yeah we don't like stuff that is for horses...


----------



## petesbrew (16/8/14)

Thai Beef Salads are my favourite.

:icon_offtopic: Watching Lego Movie with the kids for the 50th time... SPACESHIP!!!


----------



## contrarian (16/8/14)

Salad is what food eats


----------



## i-a-n (17/8/14)

While on the subject of eating out..... I'd like to know which Bistro Meister decided it was a great idea to take a beautifully tender piece of lamb (cutlet) and dip it in breadcrumbs and fry the poor little bugger and turn it into a monstrosity when all it needed was to be shown a little heat either side for a few moments.


----------



## Blind Dog (17/8/14)

I thought battered deep fried pizza was the lowest of the low until I read your post. Battered deep fried pizza is bad, but at least it's just turning something shit (the pizza is of the cheap, doughy kind) into something shittier. Dicking around with quality ingredients to make something shit is just an affront to human decency


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (17/8/14)

Mm...Crumbed cuttlets and gravy, with mash...classic pub food...


----------



## Bridges (17/8/14)

petesbrew said:


> :icon_offtopic: Watching Lego Movie with the kids for the 50th time... SPACESHIP!!!


EVERYTHING IS AWESOME!!!


----------



## philmud (18/8/14)

Notice my brew fridge is sitting at 13C instead of 18C & think "my heat belt must be fucked". 

Open the fridge and think "****, it's warm in there."

Notice the STC temp probe sitting on the concrete floor of the garage and think "There's no way that little heat belt will warm up that whole garage floor, especially from inside the fridge."

Arrrrgh, so my golden ale with US05 spent about 8-10 hours at around 23-24C. No biggie, except that it's very early in fermentation. Oh well, let's see how it fares.


----------



## petesbrew (18/8/14)

Bridges said:


> EVERYTHING IS AWESOME!!!


Batman's song is better.


----------



## Pilchard (19/8/14)

Rushing the daughter off to the hospital last night with a suspected case of maningacocle. Finding out 10 hours later it's not and she is ok. Turns out she was spewing so hard she has busted all the small capillaries in her face and neck and looks to have the dreaded disease. Doctors were frantic for the first hour, then subsided to an observation level, spinal tap done etc. My poor little girl subjected to that.

First world problem thread, sick people going to work and school.... There should be a law that sends them home if they are that unwell and contagious... I never want to go through that sort of worry again.

Then I suppose there will be teenage dating...


----------



## pk.sax (19/8/14)

Blind Dog said:


> I thought battered deep fried pizza was the lowest of the low until I read your post. Battered deep fried pizza is bad, but at least it's just turning something shit (the pizza is of the cheap, doughy kind) into something shittier. Dicking around with quality ingredients to make something shit is just an affront to human decency


Mmmmmmmm. Deep fried calzone... I salivate.

Made a pact today with housemate to eat healthier together for a month. Would be good for the gut. The head,... Well.... Will find out.


----------



## Jaded and Bitter (19/8/14)

Thats rough Pilchard.

On a happier note, beginning of last week I had a cold. My boss now has it - even worse than I did, hes been dragging himself round since Friday. :lol:

Its put me in a really good mood, real shot in the arm ^_^


----------



## Pilchard (19/8/14)

Colds I can deal with, flu and other more serious viruses not so much...

I get the joke but in all seriousness if it was something more serious I assume you would not find it funny he got it?


----------



## Dave70 (21/8/14)

I'm now informed I need a special aerial to go with my new hi def LCD in order to exploit its hi def benefits. More expense.

What a world..


----------



## glenos (21/8/14)

Pilchard said:


> Then I suppose there will be teenage dating...


Daughters are punishment for being male.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (21/8/14)

Dave70 said:


> I'm now informed I need a special aerial to go with my new hi def LCD in order to exploit its hi def benefits. More expense.
> 
> What a world..


HAHAHAH...you got conned.


----------



## i-a-n (21/8/14)

Dave70 said:


> I'm now informed I need a special aerial to go with my new hi def LCD in order to exploit its hi def benefits. More expense.
> 
> What a world..



Soneymunny. 


Great when you have a surplus


----------



## peas_and_corn (21/8/14)

My tablet has buttons along the longer side, so they expect me to use it at 16:9 ratio most of the time. However, I prefer browsing ahb, Facebook, beersmith and so forth 9:16, which means I frequently accidentally hit the back button when I pick it up. The first tablet I owned wasn't like this- the buttons were part of the gui and thus rotated with the screen. This is a minor irritant!


----------



## barls (22/8/14)




----------



## Blind Dog (22/8/14)

Four pack of each. Which one? (First)


----------



## pk.sax (22/8/14)

Man tickler told me nooooooooooo


----------



## Cocko (22/8/14)

@BD

One of these things is not like the others,
One of these things just doesn't belong,
Can you tell which thing is not like the others
By the time I finish my song?


Dude, apples and oranges.

Save the Feral for your final tasting.


----------



## i-a-n (24/8/14)

China: 1.36 billion people.

India: 1.27 billion people.

Aus... We're forced to put stuff into green bins, yellow bins and blue bins to save the planet. That'll work.


----------



## pk.sax (24/8/14)

lol, it's funny because you don't have the story.

In India it's been commercially viable to reuse and recycle for a very long time. For example, a carton of glazed paper used for fruit juice or milk would likely be returned to supply as a paper plate for snacks, newsprint would make paper bags for handing out peanuts and the like. A recycler would do the rounds of the suburbs collecting newsprint and other paper and pay you by the kilo for it. If you had too much tin you would take it to somewhere in town and sell it by the kilo too. If you had old brass sitting around that needed repurposing, wait for the once a year visit of the casting artisan, they'd make a clay mould from anything you want right there and melt your broken bits and cast you a new one for a fee. Soda bottles used to be reused forever, you'd pay a deposit for those at the shops - unfortunately they've picked up the bad habit of PET in this case.

Anyway, I don't know about China but the use and throw mentality here in oz creates far more rubbish than is necessary. It tends to lend some meaning to recycling. Also, transporting waste costs money. So, if you want your waste out of sight from an urban zone you'd have to pay lots, cheaper to just sort for recycling.

Yep, feeling academic right about now. Come sleep... ... ...


----------



## spryzie (31/8/14)

I just had my fermenter fall of the table. 

Trub everywhere. 

And the plastic shattered. 

But I had finished bottling luckily! 

First world problem? Have to purchase one of those stainless ones now...


----------



## i-a-n (31/8/14)

spryzie said:


> I just had my fermenter fall of the table.
> 
> Trub everywhere.
> 
> ...



Oh dear. 
Hopefully the next fall won't put too big a dink in the stainless.... 
All our brewing is an outdoor activity. Got to love Qld.


----------



## mwd (2/5/15)

_How come when you go out to buy something it is always out of stock and the only alternative is three times as bloody expensive._


----------



## Bridges (7/5/15)

Went to the big green shed today.
Possibly time to admit I have a problem...



Stainless 9 litre bucket. $10. No idea what I'm going to use it for. Just couldn't walk away and leave it there. It was calling to me...


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (7/5/15)

My local, Roches Hotel, which the boys recently visited for The Grafton Show beer fest, now has Vintage on tap....$5 middy...( only middies due to it powerful affect on people who have never drank it  )


I had to pick my kids up this arvo and couldnt have any.....had to drink Coopers Mild instead... -_-


----------



## mwd (15/5/15)

Why do trainers even expensive ones fall apart after only a few months of normal wear.?


----------



## Dave70 (15/5/15)

I've had a pair of nu ballance shoes for about five years now. Actually they're more like slippers these days, but still serviceable. Only had to glue the sole back on one after I got tired of tripping over it.


----------



## wide eyed and legless (15/5/15)

They are all cheaply made, with a huge mark-up and the other thing is are they genuine, Nike, Adidas, or whatever, there would be nearly as many copies as real ones. I stick with Rockport for my footwear though I haven't tried their trainers.


----------



## Dave70 (15/5/15)

Rockports eh..

I'm sure you have little need for trainers anyhow on board your luxury yacht.


----------



## wide eyed and legless (15/5/15)

Terra Firma man, me, just that they are the most comfortable shoes to wear, and the only luxury I can glean is to answer back to SWMBO and hopefully get away with it.


----------



## Blind Dog (15/5/15)

That is indeed a luxury. I have to ask SWMBOs permission before I answer back.


----------



## Lincoln2 (15/5/15)

I can't decide between Leigh Sales and Juanita Phillips. If only the French had a sexy sounding solution. Menage a .....


----------



## Blind Dog (16/5/15)

Lincoln2 said:


> I can't decide between Leigh Sales and Juanita Phillips. If only the French had a sexy sounding solution. Menage a .....


main droite


----------



## mwd (16/5/15)

Bugger only half way through the month and nearly reached download limit of 50Gb then shaping to Dial Up speeds for rest of the month. Not happy Jan.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (16/5/15)

Let me guess...your on Satellite 



Tropical_Brews said:


> Bugger only half way through the month and nearly reached download limit of 50Gb then shaping to Dial Up speeds for rest of the month. Not happy Jan.


let me guess...your on satellite


----------



## mwd (16/5/15)

Nope ADSL1 by Tpg.com.au. Can only get ADSL 2+ AFAIK if change to Telstra Bigpond.

NBN maybe next decade.


----------



## goomboogo (16/5/15)

Tropical_Brews said:


> Nope ADSL1 by Tpg.com.au. Can only get ADSL 2+ AFAIK if change to Telstra Bigpond.
> 
> NBN maybe next decade.


Considering the NBN is already sub-standard, imagine what we will think of it in a decade.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (16/5/15)

Only 50Gb....why not get an unlimited plan for $60 from where I work


----------



## mwd (16/5/15)

Ducatiboy stu said:


> Only 50Gb....why not get an unlimited plan for $60 from where I work


Yes there are now quite a few unlimited plans about these days around the same price or even lower than I am paying. But you know after many years with TPG without ever having a problem apart from some wally in SE Qld who cut the Telstra Fibre Optic backbone a few years ago been really good. Not very often I overuse but this month been very bad with torrent downloads.

Then of course all the many years of old e-mail contacts that use my address.

P.S. many years ago was on Dial Up with Austarnet which was dirt cheap even back then.


----------



## Dan2 (17/5/15)

Ducatiboy stu said:


> Only 50Gb....why not get an unlimited plan for $60 from where I work


$60 seems a little too much to pay for inganet.
I only pay $55/month
Although I only get 8G


----------



## mwd (19/5/15)

Dan2 said:


> $60 seems a little too much to pay for inganet.
> I only pay $55/month
> Although I only get 8G


8Gb for $55 must be a mobile phone plan ? We were on about home internet plans here. ^_^


----------



## jyo (19/5/15)

I don't know whether to take leftover enchiladas or pulled pork rolls for work today. I _could_ take both and just gorge myself stupid, but that will mean I'll probably have to do two poos in one day. That would be really annoying.

Please, I need advice!


----------



## luggy (19/5/15)

Maybe give bulimia a go?


----------



## tavas (19/5/15)

Twice the taste and no calories


----------



## Mardoo (19/5/15)

I've always thought a restaurant for bulimics was a golden business idea.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (19/5/15)

Mardoo said:


> I've always thought a restaurant for bulimics was a golden arches business


----------



## Airgead (19/5/15)

Ahhhh the golden arches. he only place in the world where you can get indigestion and malnutrition at the same time.


----------



## Dave70 (19/5/15)

jyo said:


> I don't know whether to take leftover enchiladas or pulled pork rolls for work today. I _could_ take both and just gorge myself stupid, but that will mean I'll probably have to do two poos in one day. That would be really annoying.
> 
> Please, I need advice!


I'd avoid the enchiladas for sure in that case as beans are a great source of fiber. 
Meat and bread? Probably go for days before dropping the kids off.


----------



## sponge (19/5/15)

As long as it's chased up with a coffee and dart she'll be right..


----------



## nosco (19/5/15)

Tropical_Brews said:


> 8Gb for $55 must be a mobile phone plan ? We were on about home internet plans here. ^_^


We have just got adsl in our home that we have been in for 3 years. The house is 7 years old. Before that we were paying $90 a month with Telstra for 15g of mobile broadband because that was the only thing available in our area. It was that or dial up. We are about 30-45 min from Melbourne.


----------



## mwd (19/5/15)

nosco said:


> We have just got adsl in our home that we have been in for 3 years. The house is 7 years old. Before that we were paying $90 a month with Telstra for 15g of mobile broadband because that was the only thing available in our area. It was that or dial up. We are about 30-45 min from Melbourne.


That's more like a Third World Problem :blink: My local exchange here is controlled by the dreaded Telstra who won't allow TPG to either install or piggyback Dslams for ADSL2+ service.


----------



## tavas (19/5/15)

jyo said:


> I don't know whether to take leftover enchiladas or pulled pork rolls for work today. I _could_ take both and just gorge myself stupid, but that will mean I'll probably have to do two poos in one day. That would be really annoying.
> 
> Please, I need advice!


I have gastro today. Only 2 poos? Luxury!!!


----------



## Camo6 (19/5/15)

I hate Telstra but reluctantly give them my money. I can, I mean, I reckon I could get mobile coverage from inside a rape dungeon and get 500Gb home broadband at super speeds. We don't use more than 50Gb but that's beside the point.


Oh, and get well Tavas. You don't have kids in childcare do you?


----------



## tavas (19/5/15)

Got one in Kindy and one stay at home, so good chance it either came from there or our guests on the weekend.

I vehemently hate Telstra but we just spent 2 years in Boddington and never had a single issue, plus T Box speeds were superb. But they charged you for it. Changed back to Iinet as soon as we moved back to Perth. Just out of principle.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (19/5/15)

As much as I dont like Telstra, the fact remains that they have "THE BEST" network.. You just cant argue against it.

Spend 20yrs in the comms industry. Telstra have some very nice stuff in those buildings :icon_drool2:

They have the infrastructure and the backbone.Period

They also have the customers. Not just retail, but wholesale as well

Telstra dont give a shit if you get pissed off at them and have an internet/facebook rant.


----------



## mwd (22/5/15)

E Bay bargain 64 Gb USB 2.0 memory stick from somewhere overseas probably China or Hong Kong free shipping $10.69. Got confirmation of shipping today. Estimated delivery date 10th June to 23rd June :beerbang:

que song "On a slow boat from China"


----------



## mwd (30/5/15)

Signs of old age when you cannot read the writing on cans and food packaging cooking instructions and also the little manuals that come with electrical goods without glasses and in some cases need a magnifier and glasses together.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (30/5/15)

Tropical_Brews said:


> Signs of old age when you cannot read the writing on cans and food packaging cooking instructions and also the little manuals that come with electrical goods without glasses and in some cases need a magnifier and glasses together.


I am not that old and still have trouble reading that ultra small print


----------



## spog (30/5/15)

Tropical_Brews said:


> E Bay bargain 64 Gb USB 2.0 memory stick from somewhere overseas probably China or Hong Kong free shipping $10.69. Got confirmation of shipping today. Estimated delivery date 10th June to 23rd June :beerbang:
> 
> que song "On a slow boat from China"





Tropical_Brews said:


> E Bay bargain 64 Gb USB 2.0 memory stick from somewhere overseas probably China or Hong Kong free shipping $10.69. Got confirmation of shipping today. Estimated delivery date 10th June to 23rd June :beerbang:
> 
> que song "On a slow boat from China"


Linky please ?.


----------



## mwd (30/5/15)

spog said:


> Linky please ?.


http://www.ebay.com.au/itm/161652630847 Link. Further reading has lead to a scam in China where the flash states the memory to be 64Gb but in fact is much smaller and can corrupt the data you put on it 

http://www.instructables.com/id/Dont-fall-for-the-Flash-Drive-Scam!/ As they say if it looks too good to be true then probably is. In hindsight should probably have steered clear of this one :huh:


----------



## chatz (30/5/15)

Tropical_Brews said:


> Why do trainers even expensive ones fall apart after only a few months of normal wear.?


Same goes for work boots $150-$200 a pair only last 6 months cheapys only 2 months.


----------



## sponge (7/7/15)

You'd get along well with Kristy Wheeler..


----------



## Bridges (13/8/15)

I can't drive glad wrap any more. I just pitched a cube of pale ale and bugger me I went through even more than normal, it's like I got the left handers pack or something I just can't drive it. Probably designed to make you use more by some smarmy marketing type...


----------



## Spohaw (14/8/15)

First world problem is I've got more beer then I can fit in my kegs and I can't drink enough to keep up with brewing


----------



## Kingy (14/8/15)

I have the same problem. I'm fully loaded.


----------



## mckenry (14/8/15)

What a load of crappola!

I salary sacrifice 9% of my pretax wage to superannuation. This is a good deal mind you. Yesterday I wanted to vary it to save some $ fast for some renovations, then go back to 9% in 5 or 6 months.
They want me to declare financial hardship, fill in forms stating my wifes income, my kids age, school fees, bills to pay, credit card statements etc. If I dont want to declare financial hardship, I have to wait until the next time I can elect to vary it (November I think, then they will change it in April - wtf?)
To up my contribution, I can fill in a form, no questions and it will be done next pay day.
I dont want money out - just vary what I give them... :angry2:


----------



## Spohaw (17/8/15)

First world problem 

When I drink sometimes a drop of beer falls off of moustache and lands on the crotch of my pants making it look like a drop of piss 

"I swear it's beer!"

Haha


----------



## real_beer (17/8/15)

Don't go near any dogs! A guy on Bondie Rescue got 100 stitches repairing his wanger when a mates dog had a chomp :blink: . It wasn't beer related but a lot of pooches like the grog so it'd be best to play it safe :lol:


----------



## Mardoo (30/10/15)

Yesterday Cole's had the normal sized boxes of Kleenex for $2.50, and the large ones on sale for $2.50. But in the large ones the last 40 or so Kleenexes always fall to the bottom, so you have to root around in the box to get one out. What am I to do!?!?!?? Bargain or utility? The pain and shame of it!


----------



## Exile (30/10/15)

First world problem

One of the major theme parks on the gold coast let one of their url's lapse.
Has a shitload of backlinks etc.
Now what shall i do with it B)


----------



## sponge (30/10/15)

Most of them could be used as _pron _sites.

Wet n wild, dream world, movie world.

Even sea world if people are in to that..


----------



## sp0rk (30/10/15)

Mardoo said:


> Yesterday Cole's had the normal sized boxes of Kleenex for $2.50, and the large ones on sale for $2.50. But in the large ones the last 40 or so Kleenexes always fall to the bottom, so you have to root around in the box to get one out. What am I to do!?!?!?? Bargain or utility? The pain and shame of it!


That's a huge pain, especially when you're just about to finish and don't want to make a mess everywhere


----------



## Mardoo (31/10/15)

sponge said:


> Most of them could be used as _pron _sites.
> 
> Wet n wild, dream world, movie world.
> 
> Even sea world if people are in to that..


I myself like a good prawn feast...


----------



## glenwal (2/11/15)

Mardoo said:


> Yesterday Cole's had the normal sized boxes of Kleenex for $2.50, and the large ones on sale for $2.50. But in the large ones the last 40 or so Kleenexes always fall to the bottom, so you have to root around in the box to get one out. What am I to do!?!?!?? Bargain or utility? The pain and shame of it!


Don't the large boxes have flaps in the bottom that you push in and they lift the tissues up so you can get them?


----------



## mje1980 (2/11/15)

Yeah but ****, it's a lot of effort.


----------



## goomboogo (2/11/15)

Glen W said:


> Don't the large boxes have flaps in the bottom that you push in and they lift the tissues up so you can get them?


Large boxes do have flaps but if you manage to push them inside the only thing that is likely to pop is a pair of eyeballs.


----------



## mr_wibble (4/11/15)

Tropical_Brews said:


> E Bay bargain 64 Gb USB 2.0 memory stick from somewhere overseas probably China or Hong Kong free shipping $10.69. Got confirmation of shipping today. Estimated delivery date 10th June to 23rd June :beerbang:
> 
> que song "On a slow boat from China"


You need to be really careful with this sort of thing (SD cards too).

Many counterfeit sticks/cards are labelled to be bigger than they actually are. Some of them are simply sized at 1/2 X rather than X gigabytes, but with tricky data formatting.

Others have dodgey wiring in the chip, so it appears to be the right size, and even formats to that size. But (simplifying the explanation) the addressing wires for say the top half of the chip link back to the bottom. So you write a huge file to the card - the first half writes fine, the 2nd half writes fine too, but over the top of the first half.

And when I say "half", it could of course be quarter, or eighth.

So... buyer beware.

EDIT: spello's


----------



## mwd (24/11/15)

Every time you take a cold drink in a glass you get half a gallon of water on the outside of the glass leaves a great mess all over the table or always drips on you when you pick up the glass.

Why do I hate this so much just trying to enjoy a nice Lagavulan Scotch.


----------



## Mardoo (24/11/15)

Because you can't get over the guilt of drinking it with ice


----------



## Bridges (11/12/16)

My darling better half got me a mk4 kegerator for christmas. Doesn't fit where she had planned it to live. Now in discussions about it living where my ferm fridge fridge is in the living room. Apparently a small white bar fridge is OK but a stainless kegerator in the living room, is being a bit of a bogan...


----------



## Bridges (11/12/16)

Don't get me wrong my wife got me a triple tap kegerator. Best wife ever! No problem there!


----------



## Brewnicorn (11/12/16)

Bridges said:


> My darling better half got me a mk4 kegerator for christmas. Doesn't fit where she had planned it to live. Now in discussions about it living where my ferm fridge fridge is in the living room. Apparently a small white bar fridge is OK but a stainless kegerator in the living room, is being a bit of a bogan...


Bloody hell! Good problem to have. Sounds like a full remodel is the only compromise.


----------



## Bridges (11/12/16)

Brewnicorn said:


> Bloody hell! Good problem to have. Sounds like a full remodel is the only compromise.


I suggested it was time for a new house. Probably not going to happen!


----------



## wide eyed and legless (11/12/16)

Since I have been out of the kitchen and working for a living, nothing lives where it used to live, I am a great believer that once something lives somewhere that is where it stays, the most noticeable migration of something which has moved from where they used to live are the tea and coffee jars, they are now as far away from the kettle as they could be, I don't bother anymore about the reasoning, I just take my cup to where they used to be and then traipse across the kitchen to where they are now for my teabag.
So much wasted energy.


----------



## Bridges (11/12/16)

Bridges said:


> Darling wife has reorganized all the drawers in our kitchen, had to open THREE drawers to find a bowl to eat my cereal out of this morning. Not looking forward to the next few weeks of random cupboard and draw opening to find what I want.


Sorry to quote myself but... Feeling your pain WEAL! Happens at my place all to often.


----------



## Bridges (2/6/17)

Live chat. Why bother if the muppet I'm "live chatting" to on your website knows as much as I do. to paraphrase

me: I want an x it is listed as being available yesterday I've been waiting a while to order one whats going on?
them: It's out of stock
me: I know, when can I expect to be able to get one?
them: When the supplier gets it to us, or you can pre-order.
me: I know that but I need x for a specific event and I need to be sure of when I will get it. If you have it I will order it. Can you contact your supplier?
them: We are waiting on a reply but if you order one we'll ship it as soon as it arrives.
me: When will they arrive?
them: We are not sure
me: Bash it in your arse. I'll look elsewhere...


----------



## Airgead (2/6/17)

The Muppet was probably a chat bot. They are all the rage these days for further pissing your customers off. 

Don't worry though, I'm sure you can order your X (blow up doll) for your specific event (missus is away next weekend) somewhere else...


----------



## Dave70 (3/6/17)

Airgead said:


> The Muppet was probably a chat bot. They are all the rage these days for further pissing your customers off.
> 
> Don't worry though, I'm sure you can order your X (blow up doll) for your specific event *(missus is away next weekend)* somewhere else...


Or _not_..

Hey. A threesome's a threesome..


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (3/6/17)

Foursome is moresome


----------



## Bridges (4/6/17)

Closest I will ever get to a threesome would be both hands. Not sure that counts. 
Stu the correct term I believe is Fourgy...
Still haven't even ordered "x"


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (5/6/17)

Bridges said:


> Closest I will ever get to a threesome would be both hands. Not sure that counts.
> Stu the correct term I believe is Fourgy...
> Still haven't even ordered "x"


Mmm... a Fourgy with "x"...... h34r:


----------



## Bridges (11/11/17)

Having a quiet ale whilst I make a batch of rhubarb jam today. Got some new jam jars and wouldn't you know it my jam funnel is too big for the neck of the jar. Increases the difficulty and mess of getting hot jam into hot jars 10 fold.


----------



## ein stein (11/11/17)

I spend way too much for the privilege of watching bananas turn brown on my kitchen bench.


----------



## petesbrew (12/11/17)

Just experienced a new level of depression.
Ordering a burger from Lord of the Fries, the burger joint I've been meaning to try for ages. I'm standing there waiting for it to be made, look at the menu thinking "why is there a comma missing between the words veg and beef?.... oh no". Then I saw the words 100% vegetarian. Ask for Vegan!!!
I don't mind the odd vege burger, but there's nothing worse than being tricked into eating one. And damn it was a disappointing burger too - just a boring sponge patty with lots of hotsauce. 
No animals died in the making of that burger, just my soul.
And to really rub it in, I had to walk past hungry jacks on the way back to the office.


----------



## Mardoo (12/11/17)

Yep, I can get into a good veggie burger, but theirs suck. That said, it must be nice as a vego to have a crappy late-night burger option along the lines of Maccas - for that level of drunk when only the worst will do.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (12/11/17)

May as well just eat a piece of burger shaped Tofu


----------



## Dave70 (13/11/17)

petesbrew said:


> Just experienced a new level of depression.
> Ordering a burger from Lord of the Fries, the burger joint I've been meaning to try for ages. I'm standing there waiting for it to be made, look at the menu thinking "why is there a comma missing between the words veg and beef?.... oh no". Then I saw the words 100% vegetarian. Ask for Vegan!!!
> I don't mind the odd vege burger, but there's nothing worse than being tricked into eating one. And damn it was a disappointing burger too - just a boring sponge patty with lots of hotsauce.
> No animals died in the making of that burger, just my soul.
> And to really rub it in, I had to walk past hungry jacks on the way back to the office.



Got a few vegos in the family, so this can be an issue from time to time. Vegan food is reminds me of the bible, there _is_ some fine philosophy in there, but then it attempts to prove to much with all the miracles and supernatural stuff. This is vegan food - which in not explicitly vegan anyway - when it trespasses into the domain of animal products. 'I cant believe its not butter' I can.


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## Grott (13/11/17)

I knew a vegan once, they were that anemic you couldn’t see them in a brightly lit room.

The fact that they want to make a lot of their food look like meat (sausages, patties etc) gives me the impression there must be some guilty desire in that.


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## Dave70 (13/11/17)

Grott said:


> I knew a vegan once, they were that anemic you couldn’t see them in a brightly lit room.
> 
> The fact that they want to make a lot of their food look like meat (sausages, patties etc) gives me the impression there must be some guilty desire in that.



Yep. I respect a persons ethical decision to eschew all animal product, its not easy, but the fact of the matter is we are an omnivorous species. I reckon that 'guilty desire' is the enteric nervous system at work .Your gut knows, for example, Greek salad with chunks of tofu in lieu of feta is a crime against humanity.


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## earle (13/11/17)

Maybe next time might be best to stick with the Phish - apparently it's a gift from the sea


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## Mardoo (13/11/17)

Dave70 said:


> Greek salad with chunks of tofu in lieu of feta is a crime against humanity.


No way, has someone made that?


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## Ducatiboy stu (13/11/17)

Dave70 said:


> Yep. I respect a persons ethical decision to eschew all animal product, its not easy, but the fact of the matter is we are an omnivorous species. I reckon that 'guilty desire' is the enteric nervous system at work .Your gut knows, for example, *Greek salad with chunks of tofu in lieu of feta* is a crime against humanity.




Dave...get off the internet...and get of it NOW


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## Dave70 (13/11/17)

Mardoo said:


> No way, has someone made that?



Was said - 'When you marinate it in olive oil and oregano, it tastes the same anyway'.

I'll go on the record say - It doesn't taste the same.


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## Mardoo (13/11/17)

Vomit


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## bradsbrew (13/11/17)

Give them feta, tell them it's marinata tofu. See if they can tell the difference then


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## petesbrew (14/11/17)

Dave70 said:


> Was said - 'When you marinate it in olive oil and oregano, it tastes the same anyway'.
> 
> I'll go on the record say - It doesn't taste the same.


Now this just makes me angry.


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## Bridges (30/12/17)

When you slice open a bag of grated cheese, on the dotted line with the little picture of a pair of scissors, only to find that some numpty has the printing all wrong and I have to make a SECOND cut just to open the bag.


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## Danscraftbeer (30/12/17)

Intolerable!
What about the way they have that nick in the bag so you don't need to use scissors. it say's "Tear Here" but it tears all wrong and ruins the resealability! arghhhh!!!


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## SeeFar (30/12/17)

What about the bags that don't seal properly at all??!

Saxa rock salt bags, they have a 'fish-tailed fold' on either end so the reseal jigger only reseals part of the opening. 

How the freakin fark does that make sense. 

All is lost.


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