# You Know You're A Homebrewer If . . .



## chiller (26/9/04)

I saw this in TastyBrew.com

You know you're a homebrewer if . . . 
If you take a personal day off from work to brew on a Wednesday to have an adequate yeast starter for the 1.100 Specific Gravity Belgian being brewed on Saturday. 
If you refuse to pay $8.00 for a beer in a restaurant because you can make 5 gallons for that much. 
If you scan the Belgian Ales at checkout yourself so the clerk won't disturb the yeast sediment. 
If you live in a small one bedroom apartment, and you have two refridgerators. 
If you wonder what everything would taste like if mashed, boiled and fermented. 
If your computer passwords are all related to beer. 
If you make hummingbird food by boiling the sugar water for 1 hour and then sanitize the feeder with Iodophor. 
If your house doesn't have air conditioning, but your beer room does. 
If your pet rabbit will only eat crushed German pilsner malt. 
If "pick up CO2" is on your shopping list. 
If you see the acronym R.D.W.H.A.H.B. and know what it means. 
If you get all your exercise from moving carboys. 
If you take your wife out to garage sales in hopes of finding brew gear. 
If you hate to wash the family dishes, but think nothing about standing over a sink for hours cleaning empty bottles. 
If you have used a bottle opener on a twist-off cap. 
If your wife starts buying two of every kitchen utensil so she doesn't have to search the brewery when it's time to cook. 
If you ask the guy at the hardware store if something is "food grade". 
If you've ever spent the afternoon in a hardware store staring in to space, trying to improve your wort chiller/fluid transfer. 
If you pre-heat your thermos cup to have a thermal mass of zero. 
If a "beer run" is now classified as a 3 hour escapade at the local homebrew shop. 
If you have ever parked your car in the rain to keep your beer out of it. 
If you have never taken a microbiology course but you know all about Saccharomyces cerevisiae and Saccharomyces carlsbergensis. 
If you measure purchases with how many batches of homebrew you could have brewed. 
If your children believe that Santa Claus would rather have a glass of homebrew than milk. 
If you worry about channeling when you "sparge" your coffee. 
If your asked your phone company if they have a phone number ending in 1056. 
If you can estimate hair color in degrees Lovibond. 
If you have a separate email folder for homebrew. 
If you can name at least 10 different varieties of hops, but can't name 10 congressmen. 
If you understand how water chemistry and pH affect the mash, but barely passed high school chemistry. 
If your wife left you for someone who doesn't brew. 
If you have your local homebrew supply shop on speed-dial right above 911. 
If you own a stock-pot big enough to bathe in. 
If you have more varieties of beer on tap than your local bar does. 
If you take two fermentors with you shopping for refridgerators. 
If a smelly, moldy, disgusting college-dorm fridge is a gift from the gods. 
If you tackle your wife in the kitchen before she sneezes. 
If you have moved clothes out of your closet to make room for more fermenters. 
If your child's science project is on fermentation. 
If you've ever got up to check an airlock in the middle of the night. 
If you have more refridgerators for beer than you do for food. 
If going to a brewfest is part of your honeymoon. 
If you plan your family vacations by which breweries you can visit. 
If you and the local bottle-grannies have come to an accord over collection zoning. 
If you have more airlocks than the international space station. 
If you've tasted the finest commercial beer and said, "I can do better." 
If you have more kegs than your average fraternity. 
If staring at a bubbling airlock is more exciting than the superbowl. 
If you pour your coffee carefully to avoid hot side aeration. 
If you bring a 3-gallon corny to a cook-out with its own neoprene jacket. 
If you've kept a log of the temperature in your basement for the past 5 years. 
If the presence of a basement was a major factor in the selection of your new home. 
If you have room in your fridge for 7 different types of beer, 6 packages of hops, 4 vials of yeast, and two cans of rice syrup, but no room for milk for the kids. 
If you schedule your lunch break around trips to the homebrew store. 
If you start asking questions about other people's worts. 
If your 5 acre yard is completely mulched with spent grains. 
If you have multiple propane tanks but only use charcoal grills. 
If you own more stainless steel than your local hospital. 
If you get up in the middle of the night to dry hop. 
If you plan your days off around when the homebrew supply store is open. 
If you have 45 gallons of bottled beer in the basement and wonder if you should double the batch you are brewing on Saturday. 
If your basement looks like the set of a 1930's horror movie. 
If your 5 gallon propane bottle has never been connected to a barbecue. 
If you don't brew much until your wife leaves town for the weekend, then you brew 30 gallons. 
If you have more than two refrigerators. 
If you have bottles of bleach and no white clothes. 
If you hear someone say "sock hop" and you think they're dyslexic. 
If your neighbors think you started a bottle recycling center. 
If you use old, leftover hops as potpourri. 
If you've got more cooking utensils and gadgets than your spouse does. 
If you return from New Year's Eve parties with a trunk full of empty champagne bottles. 
If you always make sure to take the truck, rather than the car, to the brew supply store. 
If you name your new puppy "Fuggles" or "Growler". 
If you send a holiday card to the owner of your brew supply store. 
If your house smells like a brewery. 
If you buy more pantyhose than your wife (...for hops!) 
If you kidnap the family thermometer to test the temperature of the wort. 
If you hear the term 'malted milk' you think they are talking about a stout. 
If you've ever bought a case of beer saying, "I paid for the bottles, the beer comes with them for free." 
If you've ever had 6 or more cases of EMPTY beer bottles in your house before you had a party, not after. 
If you've raided the boy scout bottle collection/recycling for old bottles. 
If you've ever left your local soda bottling company with your trunk and back seat full of 5 gallon cornelius kegs. 
If you give clothes to Goodwill just to get more room in your closet for beer and equipment. 
If someone says they've had a yeast infection and you ask what they were brewing at the time. 
If you get crown seals and hop bags for christmas presents. 
If you've ever bought returnable beer bottles with no intention of EVER returning them. 
If you're surfing the net at 3:40 am looking for homebrew websites or recipies. 
If you cancel a date because your wort hasn't reached pitching temperature yet. 
If you can't remember that last time you popped open a flip-top beer can. 
If you think the term pitch has nothing to do with baseball. 
If your cupboards have more brewing items and bottles than they do food and plates. 
If you don't think that 10 gallons of beer is a lot. 
If you've ever cut a hole in a refridgerator. 
If walking across the kitchen floor sounds like velcro. 
If you've ever asked the question, "by weight or volume?" 
If you've ever used a mop on a ceiling. 
If you own a sterile trash can. 
If you've ever tried to improve a Budweiser by stirring in a hop pellet.


----------



## Hoops (26/9/04)

Soooooo true. I can relate to more than half of them!


----------



## The Duke (26/9/04)

.......
When you start behaving like a squirrel and gradually fill every square inch of cupboard space with longnecks.

When you are prepared to spend a night cold rather than take the spare blanket from your beloved brew.

When every one of your brews tastes better than the last.

When you justify your increased consumption habits by quoting articles from New Scientist.


----------



## Boots (26/9/04)

That's hilarious ...

Here's mine...

If you're out to buy some clothes and all you can think about is "Damn, I could get a N.A.S.A burner + reg for that price!"


----------



## jgriffin (26/9/04)

Naming your dog fuggles? Why does that sound like something i read recently..

What does doc get called for naming his daughter after beer?


----------



## chiller (26/9/04)

Well, looks like Fuggles has been taken 


Ah well .... how does long kneck sound for a Dobermann?

Steve


----------



## sosman (26/9/04)

I can relate to many of those, also:

Come home from work when the mercury hit 35 to move the fermenter to kids swimming pool (before I had 3rd fridge).

Adjusted pH of coffee sparge water.

Emptied toys out of kids plastic storage bins for grain storage.


----------



## Doc (26/9/04)

There are some new ones in the list since I last saw it.

I really like



> If your pet rabbit will only eat crushed German pilsner malt
> If you get all your exercise from moving carboys.
> If your children believe that Santa Claus would rather have a glass of homebrew than milk.
> If you worry about channeling when you "sparge" your coffee.
> ...



especially because they are all true.
So what happens if you answer yes to more than 50% ???????


Doc


----------



## wee stu (26/9/04)

Doc said:


> So what happens if you answer yes to more than 50% ???????


 Easy, RDWHAHB. says it all!


----------



## sintax69 (27/9/04)

Cant remeber your own mobile number but can recite 10 Brew site address by heart

Just happened 
Sintax


----------



## Justin (27/9/04)

Oooooh, that's a little concerning looking at that. Like those above I can fulfill well more that half on that list. I often look at non-essential purchases of other items and think, for the same price I could buy those dial thermometers I've been thinking about for so long , among other things.



My name is Justin and I have a brewing problem.


----------



## Doc (27/9/04)

.... when you were brought up on the metric system, but since starting brewing you can convert lbs to kilos, oz's to grams and degF to degC without blinking.

Doc


----------



## warb (28/9/04)

nice....


If you don't think that 10 gallons of beer is a lot. 

If walking across the kitchen floor sounds like velcro. 

If you've ever used a mop on a ceiling. :blink: 



or mine would be..

If you shed a tear after breaking 'your' glass..(is that the right 'shed?!)

or..

When your wife misunderstands how searching the net late at night for techniques of getting good head will help your next brew..


----------



## Jazman (28/9/04)

Or brew more beer than you can drink so u start throwing out the old beer


----------



## Doc (11/10/04)

When your children are still 15+ years away from being able to legally drink, but already have beers named after them for all their lifes milestones.

Doc


----------



## Tallgum (11/10/04)

Reminds me of a couple of years ago , we were driving past a bottle shop and they had a sign out the front advertising they now had a beer available, the kids said hey dad they now have a beer named after you, the sign said " Old Fart Beer Now Available"


----------



## Stuster (3/11/05)

Bump.

Just ran across this one from last year and it seems tragically true for me.  


If walking across the kitchen floor sounds like velcro. 

This is my floor at the moment.


These are also very true for me at the moment.

If you've ever spent the afternoon in a hardware store staring in to space, trying to improve your wort chiller/fluid transfer.
If you get all your exercise from moving carboys.

Nothing wrong with a bit of obsession, is there?? :beer:


----------



## Steve (3/11/05)

You know you're a home brewer when you come home from work and your 10 month old son is rattling your smacked puffed up wyeast pack instead of a brightly coloured toy winnie the pooh rattle! Oh I laughed!


----------



## WillM (3/11/05)

What if every morning I crack some coffee beans, do a single infusion at 99C for 3 mins then drain - no sparge, no mash out.


----------



## muga (3/11/05)

Steve said:


> You know you're a home brewer when you come home from work and your 10 month old son is rattling your smacked puffed up wyeast pack instead of a brightly coloured toy winnie the pooh rattle! Oh I laughed!
> [post="88018"][/post]​


LOL!


----------



## Scotty (3/11/05)

You know its bad when you are on this site whenever you are not, brewing, working or sleeping. 

Scotty


----------



## Doc (3/11/05)

When you teach your children to crawl by enticing them across the room with a pint of ale (Just taught my second child this week, a pint of ale was the enticement she needed).


----------



## WillM (3/11/05)

I taught my eldest to put caps on bottles when she was quite young.


----------



## peas_and_corn (4/11/05)

Ahh, the joys of having beer slaves...


----------



## peas_and_corn (4/11/05)

When you have pics of your home brew equipment hanging on your wall and on your computer desktop


----------



## Steve (4/11/05)

Wow Doc Exactly the same here! Works a treat! Its like a magnet.


----------



## delboy (4/11/05)

when the wife spends a $100 on make up and you think of all the ingrediants you could get for that at the HBS. :blink: 

any way my horse loves my home brew 

DEL


----------



## tangent (4/11/05)

... when you find yourself looking at the missus's tupperwear and planning which you'll snaffle for hops and which you'll snaffle for crystal.


----------



## Darren (4/11/05)

your yard smells like rotting spent malt and a million pidgeons have moved in


----------



## Steve (30/3/06)

BUMP
When you want to go pee and instead of going for the toilet door you open and go into the laundry/brewery out of habit! im getting worried :huh: 
Cheers
Steve


----------



## Duff (30/3/06)

When you look at anything in Bunnings and think if you can use that on brewday.


----------



## Duff (30/3/06)

You then wake up when the wife hits you....


----------



## peas_and_corn (5/4/06)

When anything starts looking useful for brewing...

That happened at work the other day- there were some shelves in the store room, and I was wondering aloud whether they could go towrds making a brewstand... then my supervisor told me to stop coming up with ways of using everything to brew with!


----------



## bconnery (12/7/06)

This quote came up when I was recipe-ing (is that even a verb) on Tasty Brew tonight. 

You know you are a homebrewer when: you spend more time thinking about beer than drinking beer.</I> 

I thought that was pretty spot on.  
(The link is to their set of you know etc quotes, it came up when I pasted the quote...)


----------



## stephen (12/7/06)

You know you are a brewer when...

You are cooking porridge for breakfast for the family and you give it a protein rest and a decoction!

Steve


----------



## Zwickel (12/7/06)

stephen said:


> You are cooking porridge for breakfast for the family and you give it a protein rest and a decoction!


----------



## petesbrew (2/8/06)

When your only souveneers from a Euro holiday are various beer t-shirts, 150 beer coasters (which you lovingly laminate to preserve them for re-use) and a stolen "Slug Jug" from the Slug & Lettuce pub in London.


----------



## pint of lager (2/8/06)

When you cannot decide if you are lagering or cold conditioning your soup.

When you consider starting a poll, "Do you lick your refractometer?"


----------



## stephen (5/8/06)

pint of lager said:


> When you cannot decide if you are lagering or cold conditioning your soup.
> 
> When you consider starting a poll, "Do you lick your refractometer?"


POL - You've caught me out!


----------



## Ash in Perth (6/8/06)

when you have spend more on building your brewery over a month than you have earned!


----------



## matti (10/8/06)

When you are spending more time on forums reading threads like this then spending time with your loved ones or doing something useful :huh:


----------



## Steve (14/11/06)

When you're wife tells you she has a confession to make and you automatically cringe at the thought of which beer glass has she broken  
Cheers
Steve


----------



## Voosher (14/11/06)

When you sleep with your smackpack to keep it warm at night


----------



## fifteenbeerslater (15/11/06)

When you have a permanent wallpaper on your phone like this...........


----------



## PostModern (28/11/06)

... you start making separate bitterness, flavour and aroma additions to your pasta sauce!

I found myself putting oregano in at the start of the simmer, basil for the last 20 mins and parsley at "flameout"... :blink:


----------



## Voosher (28/11/06)

PostModern said:


> ... you start making separate bitterness, flavour and aroma additions to your pasta sauce!
> 
> I found myself putting oregano in at the start of the simmer, basil for the last 20 mins and parsley at "flameout"... :blink:



Nice.
I also like parsley as a flavour addition, basil for aroma and dry hopping with parsley in the bowl.


----------



## Airgead (30/11/06)

PostModern said:


> ... you start making separate bitterness, flavour and aroma additions to your pasta sauce!
> 
> I found myself putting oregano in at the start of the simmer, basil for the last 20 mins and parsley at "flameout"... :blink:




Doesn't everyone? I tend to use 3 additions of Basil and one of oregano. Have yuo ever experimented with dried for the first addition and fresh for late additions?

Cheers
Dave


----------



## philmac (2/12/06)

You know you're obsessed when you start smacking your kids who are playing in the bath because of fears 
of Hot Side Aeration.

Cheers,
Phil


----------



## DarkFaerytale (7/12/06)

you buy a car based solely on the fact that the license plate number is IBU-100

-Phill


----------



## Cortez The Killer (2/12/08)

You are tasting a sample from your yeast starter and you hear yourself say "I don't mind this at all", then start considering pouring yourself another sample 

Cheers


----------



## Nickwrighty (2/12/08)

Or when you find yourself spending your lunchtime at work reading the forums or visiting online hbs's.
:icon_cheers:


----------



## Fatgodzilla (2/12/08)

Cortez The Killer said:


> You are tasting a sample from your yeast starter and you hear yourself say "I don't mind this at all", then start considering pouring yourself another sample
> 
> Cheers




Why did you revive this Cortez .. oh, the shame, the shame ..............

I know I'm a homebrew cos I wake up on hearing a dripping tap, but can't sleep unless I hear an airlock glubblupping !


----------



## Cocko (3/12/08)

OR an AHB member...

You know you're a AHB member if your first AG was Dr.Smurto's JSGA!! :lol:


----------



## Bribie G (3/12/08)

When you pop into 1st choice Liquor for a bottle of Leffe or Urquell as a 'taste tester' and while raving on about it to the guy unpacking a pallette or stocking shelves you notice that he has fallen asleep 10 minutes ago.


----------



## Katherine (3/12/08)

Only last week, i dreamt that little baby otter's called Marris were swimming around in my big brew pot. My brew partner/partner told me he heard me talking in my sleep!


----------



## Pollux (3/12/08)

You walk past a guy playing a glockenspiel made entirely of longnecks and stubbies filled with varying amounts of water and actually make a note to see if the bottles are twist tops or crown seal......

Also, you repeatedly bug the local post office because their parcel delivery guy is crap at leaving cards or even knocking on your door, and you are expecting a parcel from you HBS....


----------



## datman510 (3/12/08)

when you start giving beer away on the condition they have them drunk by next weekend with the bottles cleaned out and returned


----------



## pokolbinguy (3/12/08)

Cocko said:


> OR an AHB member...
> You know you're a AHB member if your first AG was Dr.Smurto's JSGA!! :lol:



How ironic....I was just looking through the recipeDB and came across this recipe and thought....that might just be the one for my 1st AG.

Pok


----------



## white.grant (3/12/08)

You're doing the weekly grocery shopping and you wonder what the diastatic power of individual breakfast cereals are (and then purchase the crispy wheats cause you're sure they will mash OK)


----------



## Cocko (4/12/08)

pokolbinguy said:


> How ironic....I was just looking through the recipeDB and came across this recipe and thought....that might just be the one for my 1st AG.
> 
> Pok



Do it mate, its a great drop! Ask muckey or trev or any other member on here... hehehe!! Seriously though, do it!

Back OT:

You know you're a homebrewer if;

You come home from a party with more empty bottles than you took full!


----------



## buttersd70 (4/12/08)

Cocko said:


> Do it mate, its a great drop! Ask muckey or trev or any other member on here... hehehe!! Seriously though, do it!



Muckeys had a strange taste that he couldn't quite identify........a wierd 'beer like' flavour that he hadn't experienced in his HB before. :lol: Seriously, agree that it's a cracker for a first time, it's a great beer, and a forgiving recipe. Even if it turns pear shaped, it still comes out good.

Back OT, You know you're a homebrewer if;

your food doesn't keep well in the fridge, cos it's set to 9C.
you freak out if anyone gets detergent within 3 feet of your glassware.
you associate the word 'picnic' with the word 'tap'.
a little part of you dies inside whenever you see people drinking beer straight from a bottle.


----------



## Cocko (4/12/08)

buttersd70 said:


> a little part of you dies inside whenever you see people drinking beer straight from a bottle.



Spot on :lol: 

I have turned my father in-law off VB with a few 6 packs of HB and he still refuses to drink from a glass!!

Last time he gets any brew's with aroma hops!!  


Back OT:

When you rush through grocery shopping but find yourself stopped in the kitchenware section scanning every item thinking "surely I can use that for...."


----------



## Katherine (4/12/08)

When I have not got any hb ready to drink and standing in a bottleshop and not know what to buy...! wishing my own was carbonated!


----------



## matti (4/12/08)

Katie said:


> When I have not got any hb ready to drink and standing in a bottleshop and not know what to buy...! wishing my own was carbonated!


I know exactly how you feel.


----------



## Mrs Beerbelly (5/12/08)

when you start making brewing equipment for a living, so you don't have to get a real job and can stay home and brew more beer.... <_<


----------



## Back Yard Brewer (5/12/08)

Mrs Beerbelly said:


> when you start making brewing equipment for a living, so you don't have to get a real job and can stay home and brew more beer.... <_<




When your wife says "If you can't beat them, join them" :lol: 

BYB


----------



## stillscottish (7/4/09)

You've got an airlock as well as two shirts soaking in your bucket of unscented napisan. 

Campbell


----------



## imellor (8/4/09)

You know you are a homebrewer if 

You have pets named after hops.

Amarillo, Cascade and Saaz.

3 of my ferrets.


----------



## Katherine (8/4/09)

Iann said:


> You know you are a homebrewer if
> 
> You have pets named after hops.
> 
> ...



that is excellent... Amarillo suits some kind of animal Im thinking...


----------



## Snow (8/4/09)

You know you're a homebrewer when...

You step up your brew schedule (and your drinking) to provide enough spent grain to keep your chickens in feed.


----------



## Katherine (8/4/09)

Snow said:


> You know you're a homebrewer when...
> 
> You step up your brew schedule (and your drinking) to provide enough spent grain to keep your chickens in feed.



I think your last post on the joke thread proves that to... classic


----------



## PHARSYDE (18/5/09)

Scotty said:


> You know its bad when you are on this site whenever you are not, brewing, working or sleeping.
> 
> Scotty




Oh so true...........


----------



## bowie in space (4/5/12)

...when you dig up two old posts of "you know you're a homebrewer if..." equivalence in one day.

I gotta get off this site.

Just finished a double batch and am drinking a glorious APA.
Mmmm. I love this hobby :lol:


----------



## stux (4/5/12)

Snow said:


> You know you're a homebrewer when...
> 
> You step up your brew schedule (and your drinking) to provide enough spent grain to keep your chickens in feed.



You know you're a homebrewer when you decide to get chickens thinking you can then decrease your apparent per batch expenditure by deducting the grain derived eggs thus lowering your net cost/L

Now, to get it passed SWMBO


----------



## Cocko (28/12/13)

When you have just finished a 300m commercial roll of glad wrap and all you have ever used it for is the fermenter lid.....


----------



## law-of-ohms (28/12/13)

Swmbo asks you to buy nappy soaking detergent when you are out next... you come home with 20kg of sodium percarbonate ...


----------



## Cocko (28/12/13)

law-of-ohms said:


> Swmbo asks you to buy nappy soaking detergent when you are out next... you come home with 20kg of sodium percarbonate ...


Golden.


----------



## eungaibitter1 (28/12/13)

When the first thing you read to your twelve week old daughter was the introduction section of "Home brewed Beers and Stouts" by CJJ Berry.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (28/12/13)

You sterilize baby bottles with star-san.


----------



## law-of-ohms (28/12/13)

eungaibitter1 said:


> When the first thing you read to your twelve week old daughter was the introduction section of "Home brewed Beers and Stouts" by CJJ Berry.



Does having your 2yo daughter hand you bottles one after the other while bottling count? She says "more?" And she makes me say "please" with each one, else she won't hand it over!


----------



## eungaibitter1 (28/12/13)

Haha!Brilliant.


----------



## law-of-ohms (30/12/13)

Oh good, she has gone out for a few hours..... lol


----------



## Dan Pratt (30/12/13)

That is fn hilarious. Literally laugh out loud.


----------



## bradsbrew (30/12/13)

> Oh good, she has gone out for a few hours..... lol
> 
> 
> 
> ...


How'd you go. Does the dishwasher cope with that many bottles.


----------



## recharge (30/12/13)

Your at the communal kitchen at a caravan park an the only one rinsing their bottles.

Rich


----------



## law-of-ohms (31/12/13)

worked great, I only use the dish washer as a 'mechanical' use bottle tree top sqwerky thingy to sterilize after that.

I figure it can't hurt to to an extra wash.


----------



## contrarian (31/12/13)

You've ever experienced mash paddle envy.


----------



## Moad (2/1/14)

Stux said:


> You know you're a homebrewer when you decide to get chickens thinking you can then decrease your apparent per batch expenditure by deducting the grain derived eggs thus lowering your net cost/L
> 
> Now, to get it passed SWMBO


I am literally in the process of procuring some chickens for this reason!


----------



## Linford (2/1/14)

Ya kegs are empty and ya spewin ya gotta hit the bottle shop with a million tourists dropping in to your little piece of paradise.


----------



## Mardoo (2/1/14)

...you need your wife to get stainless steel lingerie before the wood will arrive.


----------



## Lord Raja Goomba I (8/1/14)

Thinking about chooks myself (and the overpriced eggs in Tassie).

You know you're a homebrewer when..... you're kids experience lupulin threshold shift before they're legally allowed to drink.

Or.... your toddler keeps dipping their finger in your 100 IBU hop bomb and going "mmmmm".


----------



## fletcher (14/1/14)

...when you take a leak into a 'caroma' branded toilet, and start thinking about what beer you'd like to use caraaroma in


----------



## Not For Horses (14/1/14)

When, back in uni days, you'd leave a party with more bottles than you went there with


----------



## Rambo (14/1/14)

Not For Horses said:


> When, back in uni days, you'd leave a party with more bottles than you went there with


And you convince your friends at the bottlo before the party that it will be cheaper for them to drink long necks.


----------



## meathead (14/1/14)

When you get home from holiday and the first thing you do is make sure the fermentation fridge is bang on 18


----------



## AlwayzLoozeCount (15/1/14)

When you flick through the free to air TV channels and read ishoptv as "is hop tv".


----------



## wide eyed and legless (16/1/14)

Moad said:


> I am literally in the process of procuring some chickens for this reason!


Chickens, that's one thing my wife will not let me have, anything else is fine, she has mentioned a couple of times that the beer gets better treatment than she does, and its kept cooler than she is in its cool room.
But for all this she still regards me as some sort of Greek God, she calls me her Nemesis, bless her.


----------



## Mardoo (16/1/14)

Solve both problems and keep her in the cool room.


----------



## wide eyed and legless (16/1/14)

I wouldn't dare do that, I have once before found a shirt in the fermenter.


----------



## Ditchnbeer (11/10/14)

...you wander into a bottle shop and walk out 20 mins later empty handed.

...you refuse to drink out of stubbies 'cos you can't see the beer, with the accompanying "I gotta see it" [at this point wife shakes head]...


----------



## Ditchnbeer (11/10/14)

...your mates answer your call within 2 rings cos they know your likely to say "I need some help finishing off some kegs of beer".


----------



## Danwood (11/10/14)

I'm not sure if it's been said before here somewhere, but....

If I'm transporting a keg in the car, it doesn't go in the boot...shit, no !!
It gets a seat in the back with 2 seat belts stretched around it and buckled up. We don't want that sediment stirred up !


----------



## Barge (28/2/16)

... you see Lael's controller in Saturday morning cartoons.


----------



## Camo6 (29/5/16)

...you're fermentation fridge, crash chiller and keg fridge are well balanced and compliment each other.


----------

