# My worst fear about my kids has been realised



## Ducatiboy stu (1/10/15)

So.. i pick up my kids from their holiday center today and the youngest, who is 8.5 pipes up

" Dad, ***** ( one of the carers ) wants me to go around to his place so we can play playstation and he wants to show me his new games "

I ******* shit myself

I will be be mentioning it directly with management

To say that I am in a some what fucked up state is putting it mildly....


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## mudd (1/10/15)

Krikey mate. Keep talking to your kids..
Hopefully its ur kid just getting excited about gaming- and a stupid comment from the carer. Certainly don't drop it though.


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## manticle (1/10/15)

Not so bad. I thought you were going to tell us they'd bought (sorry - downloaded) a taylor swift album (sorry - collection of hits on mp3 lossless) and could sing all the words.

^Totally misread original post. Please see below.


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## Black Devil Dog (1/10/15)

Ducatiboy stu said:


> So..
> I will be be mentioning it directly with management the Police.


These things need to by-pass management.


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## manticle (1/10/15)

Sorry I totally misread. Ignore the above. That is unprofessional at the very least, seventeen thousand shades of wrong at worst.


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## Ducatiboy stu (1/10/15)

mudd said:


> Krikey mate. Keep talking to your kids..
> Hopefully its ur kid just getting excited about gaming- and a stupid comment from the carer. Certainly don't drop it though.


The oldest, 10, picked it up straight away...he is on the ball, telling his brother that not to be so silly


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## Ducatiboy stu (1/10/15)

Black Devil Dog said:


> These things need to by-pass management.


Well, yes...


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## Dan Pratt (1/10/15)

Fkn hell.

RDWHAHB. 

Seriously though, don't mention it, report it to the police.


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## Ducatiboy stu (1/10/15)

Its a big one. The center is really good and I dont want to bring them down for the sake of one person. They have been going there for a few years.

I pray to beer that it was an inocent remark...but it didnt come accross that way


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## manticle (1/10/15)

Anyone in that industry should be aware of the repercussions of such a remark. As I said (once I read the post properly) - at best it is entirely unprofessional and that's reading with mary poppin's reading glasses on.


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## Ducatiboy stu (1/10/15)

Its scary shit


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## Drick (1/10/15)

Damn bro, Thats scary stuff. As a dad myself i understand your feelings. But be careful because the career could just be one of those people who are genuinely friendly (child like themselves). I'm aware there's a lot of deviants around but there also good friendly people too. All up better to be safe than sorry but be careful too.


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## Blind Dog (2/10/15)

as a dad beset by a fear of how I keep my son safe, he'd be getting a visit from my Samoan BIL. Maybe a naive and innocent comment, but when it's my kid Im a raging ******* inferno and if it's a choice between some wet behind the ears neo adult pissing himself faced with Bobby and his cousins and my kid being safe, I know what choice I'm making


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## TSMill (2/10/15)

Just to play devils advocate....I was on kinder duty a few weeks back and one of the girls tells me she wants me to come to her birthday party. When you have 20 kids hassling you sometimes the answer is "sure, sounds good now go play"

So does that get twisted round in the car home to "somebody's daddy said they want to come and play with me"?

Not defending this guy but one thing I have noticed in a female dominated profession, the males can be very popular with the kids, there's a chance 15 boys were talking x-box to him at once.


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## wide eyed and legless (2/10/15)

I think you could be getting worked up for nothing, to put your mind at ease confront the person, ask him what the situation is, could be he has a house full of his own kids, you will know if it is something suspicious, (probably through denial), and if it is tell him you will be taking it further.


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## Ducatiboy stu (2/10/15)

wide eyed and legless said:


> I think you could be getting worked up for nothing, to put your mind at ease confront the person, ask him what the situation is, could be he has a house full of his own kids, you will know if it is something suspicious, (probably through denial), and if it is tell him you will be taking it further.


I hope I am getting worked up over nothing

But what happens when something does happen...?


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## Mardoo (2/10/15)

It's possible that what TSMill says is along the lines of what happened, and possibly not. Definitely take it seriously.

As someone who works in daycare I'd say talk to his managers, and also take your concerns to the government body that oversees daycare in your state. They will take it seriously and get the police involved as necessary. I'm sure his managers will take notice. If it ends up that no one is listening to you, then take it to the police.

I myself wouldn't talk to him directly. If he is a paedophile, they can be incredibly persuasive people. They're used to having to live one life under the radar and a different one in public. If you're like me with my kids, you'll end up wanting to kill him after about 20 seconds of flapping his jaw. This needs to be taken seriously by the relevant authorities. Paedophiles need to be rooted out wherever they are and losing your shit at him will not help that happen. It's crucial, for your son and every other child, that whoever you talk to about it takes you seriously. If no one is taking you seriously, go to the police. 

If it turns out that something was in fact amiss, and this guy was targeting your son, then you call the Samoan BIL.


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## Dave70 (2/10/15)

Ducatiboy stu said:


> I hope I am getting worked up over nothing
> 
> But what happens when something does happen...?


**** that Stu. Err to the side of caution. 
Sound the words out to yourself and tell me if you'd be comfortable saying that to a mates kid.
Benign or otherwise, its wholly inappropriate, and an adult in that position should be well aware of that. Something just doesn't sit right, with me anyway.

On the other hand, you could potentially destroy someones life and reputation if even the suggestion of this behavior was made public. Its a tricky one. 
I'd be fronting the joints admin and confirming the kind of background checks the run on employees then perhaps make a call from there.


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## Ducatiboy stu (2/10/15)

I wont be just going out naming and shaming. He is only a young bloke so would hate to wreck his life over nothing. 

It mat be an innocent remark

It may not....


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## Florian (2/10/15)

Could it be a matter of wishful thinking on your son's part?
As in, they have been talking about PlayStation games, turns out the carer seems to have some good ones your son would love to play, plus he really likes the carer as he is a really cool young guy, so in the car it turns into what you have heard?

Maybe your son knows that when he asks you if he could go to his carer's place you would say no, so instead he is ' being smart' and makes out that he has been asked to go to his place? Better chance for you to say yes in your sons mind, maybe?

I know that my kids are good at twisting things around in a way that they think gives them the best chance of success.

Just throwing options out there, definitely follow it up.
On the other hand, I'm sure you have heard about the incident in a Brisbane Lindy a week or two ago, which is one of the most sickening things I've heard in a long time.

Just be level headed when you deal with it until you know for sure what happened, but it sounds like you know that already


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## bjbear77 (2/10/15)

Simple solution really:

Don't let your kid go!


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## glenwal (2/10/15)

Like a few people have said already is probably just words being twisted around. 

My kids do the same stuff, turning a simple "yeah sure [now go away]" into a magical world where i suggested it to them and I've insisted that have do it.

It's probably a case of talking about video games, the kids saying can we come around and play them and the guy (not thinking) saying sure.

That said, I wouldn't bet my kids safety on it, so I'd definitely be raising it with the centers management.


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## Bribie G (2/10/15)

I distinctly remember when I was 8 and had a crush on the lass next door I said to my Mam "Eileen's mother has said it's ok to go next door for a sleepover".
Obviously it didn't get approved.

Personally I'd mention it to the management and get the carer's side of it, so even if there were a grain of truth then at least he'd know to pay attention to his conversations with the kids in future.

Yes, fraught times we live in. For example I never answer the door to trick and treaters anymore, I can imagine what would happen if one of the sweet little girls went home to the folks and said "that man at unit no. x showed me his penis".

It's one reason that teachers aren't allowed to hug distraught kids anymore, and a reason that it's so hard to get men to coach kids sports or become scout leaders etc. I'm surprised that the carer as a man is still prepared to work in the profession.


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## real_beer (2/10/15)

Ducatiboy stu said:


> Its a big one. The center is really good and I dont want to bring them down for the sake of one person. They have been going there for a few years.
> 
> I pray to beer that it was an inocent remark...but it didnt come accross that way


Now you think there could be a problem you can actively monitor the situation.

Talking to the person concerned without bringing up what your son said first might give you more insight into the matter than raising it straight away.

My eldest girl has worked in day care since leaving school 12 years ago. When I used to drop her off at work the kids would go crazy to greet her, if the parents got the same reaction when they came to pick them up I didn't see it much. Once you raise your concerns publicly there's no way of taking the damage that arises from it back, not that you shouldn't, just have as much to go on before you do.

It's great your listening to your son and if history is anything to go by nothing has happened to your son already because their usually too afraid too mention it if it has. As the parent you have to make the call yourself, your the one on the spot & no one else can call it for you, I'm glad it's not my call. Good luck.


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## pcmfisher (2/10/15)

I assume you have talked to your son some more about it to see if you can scope out the situation a little better?


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## droid (2/10/15)

the bloke probably didn't say anything other than yeah I've got a play station too and I like playing blah blah, kids just make shit up, my little fella told our golf pro that he uses callaway like Phil mickelson...and that Phil copies him

Talk to the guy directly if you can't do that calmly then get someone else to do it


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## Fylp (2/10/15)

It is a hard call. I'm a teacher and I am paranoid. About saying the wrong thing about anything. I won't work back with female students unless there are at least 3 of them and stopped lunch detentions in the classroom with individual students. 

I also had my son's childcare worker say that if we were stuck she would baby sit. She looked after him from 1 year old and genuinely cared for him. If if was a fella would I think it more than a friendly remark? 

I'd say have a chat. If if doesn't feel right, then it probably isn't.


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## mckenry (2/10/15)

Stu,
I really hope all goes well in the end, but if youre going to get serious, cops, etc, you need to be 101% sure your kid remembers it exactly correctly. I studied child psychology for a while, and the 'memories' that come out of their mouths, compared to the actual event can vary dramatically.

So, just saying, you could ruin this guys career, but you might be right in doing so.

If you want a good read about memories, google 'I shook hands with buggs bunny' Its not quite the same scenario as this, but it goes to show that memory is so unreliable. I hope it was a comment your kid didnt understand the context of, but you also have to be aware of the dangers.

Tough situation. I feel for you. If it was me, I'd approach the guy himself and get a bit in his face and see how he copes. You'll 'feel' what you need to do next.
Good luck.


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## Ducatiboy stu (2/10/15)

I am not some one who confronts

I think it will be best to talk to the centre manager, she actually ran the pre school where they went to, but has moved to this place, so she knows the kids from a young age

I will also be discussing it with my ex as well

I think its better to talk with them rather than me just walk up to him and start questioning him.


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## panspermian (2/10/15)

My boy is only 5 months. I read that first post and understood immediately, ******* scary shit.
Currently booking him into childcare, far out I'm worried.
I want to be ultra vigilant.
Been a shooting down here in Parramatta this evening but I'm still more disturbed reading that post.....


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## Ducatiboy stu (2/10/15)

panspermian said:


> My boy is only 5 months. I read that first post and understood immediately, ******* scary shit.
> Currently booking him into childcare, far out I'm worried.
> I want to be ultra vigilant.
> Been a shooting down here in Parramatta this evening but I'm still more disturbed reading that post.....


I have had no issue with pre-school, daycare, OOSH..all of those things

They are a true godsend to working parents. 

If anything I thing they are very benificial to a childs development as it helps to make friends and build social skills

I am lucky living in a regional town where everyone knows every one and reputation is everything.

Yes my sons comments scared me, and I am still mulling it over and will chase it up, but I wont be taking vigilante action.

Kids will be kids, but hearing that does prick ones ears up big time


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## spog (2/10/15)

Ducatiboy stu said:


> So.. i pick up my kids from their holiday center today and the youngest, who is 8.5 pipes up
> 
> " Dad, ***** ( one of the carers ) wants me to go around to his place so we can play playstation and he wants to show me his new games "
> 
> ...


After reading this post early this morning it's been on my mind all day,yes i have read the replies .....tread carefully a lot is at stake,a whole hell of a lot.


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## wide eyed and legless (3/10/15)

You have to remember stu nothing did happen, and logically I couldn't imagine a carer even taking the chance to hit upon a boy of eight and a half years old, not saying it couldn't happen, but if you really believed there was something in it you wouldn't have started this thread, you would have been around at his house with a claw end hammer.


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## zarniwoop (3/10/15)

I just spoke to someone in my family who works in the social work/child protection area and they advised it is concerning and advised the following:

1. Keep talking to your son, praise him for being open with you and keep encouraging it. Ask him how he felt about, ask him if it made him feel weird (use that phrase) and try and get his feelings on it. Talk to your older son and see if anything else has been said.

2. If possible pull him out of the program, these workers know they are not supposed to suggest kids coming back to their homes or anything similar. It's not just a rough guide it's a very firm order.

3. Request a meeting with the center management and that worker, ask for an explanation, ask the worker at the meeting to show his working with children check and then expect some actions, i.e. additional training for the worker, reprimanded etc.

4. Above all make sure your son feels comfortable talking with you about it, sounds like you're already on top of this but keep it going, gentle and encouraging.

There are most likely three explanations for this guys behaviour:

1. He's an idiot. Some people just make stupid remarks or mistakes, it's a definite no-no in these jobs but it does happen.

2. He just does what he wants, some people enter the teaching type professions thinking it's Dead Poets Society and they can do what they want because they want to teach/look after people in a certain way. Doesn't mean he's abusive just thinks he can buck the rules.

3. He's a paedophile. Unfortunately people like this tend to be attracted to areas where they work with children, it can be a an almost all-consuming parts of their lives and they adjust their lives to suit it, hence their job choices. Unfortunately they're not always old men in dirty coats, they can also be young people who look cool and whom younger children are attracted to, they will also use things that are attractive to kids to attract and groom them.

I'm not saying that this guy is a paed. but it is a potential risk (people shouldn't start panicking and lynching random dodgy strangers but parents need to be on the ball with this as they tend to go where kids are - my relative has done this for a long time and the recent royal commission also highlights this.) Don't bother calling the police first up, they won't do anything based on that, best thing you can do is remove your children, talk to center management and see the response from them. This behavior is wrong and if they should act accordingly (I can't stress this enough, officially it's a really big no-no), if they appear to be protecting their worker you should then take it to the next level of management (i.e. if it's a council program take it to the council and demand a response in 24 hours not 3 weeks), you may also at this stage want to consider the police, they probably won't do anything with that level of evidence but if this individual has been doing this before or continues this will build a picture and hopefully some usable evidence.

I hope this helps, it sounds like you're doing the right thing and it's also good that your other son was there as well as he sounds like he's been keeping an eye on your younger son. 


Cheers

Zarniwoop


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## DU99 (3/10/15)

After reading this story 
i would be raising it with centre management if you don't get answer's i would be contacting the authorities.the person might have not thought of what they said.


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## Grott (3/10/15)

Stu this is a tough one but you can't let it rest. If you do you will always be wondering if the person is a creep, has he/is he not doing something to other kids. I would have thought as a carer of young kids he would known this offer was inappropriate and fraught with danger. He should have approached and asked you first. Centre management may not be the best to approach as they could have a vested interest, eg negative publicity and may just sack the person or cover up. I would approach the law for advice, they have people well trained in these matters and you can stress that you do not want this person to lose their job if its all innocent stupidity/naivety on his behalf.


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## Ducatiboy stu (3/10/15)

wide eyed and legless said:


> I couldn't imagine a carer even taking the chance to hit upon a boy of eight and a half years


Really....Have a bit of a think about that statemant and where people like that start grooming children. Fcuk'n hell WEAL..I cant beleive you made a statement like that...if it was your daughter...I bet you would have a different view


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## Bridges (3/10/15)

Horrible and scary Stu but you have to act, not just for your kids but all the kids he can potentially target. I think Zarniwoop's advice and plan of action sounds like a goer. Good luck and keep talking to your kids.


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## wide eyed and legless (3/10/15)

Ducatiboy stu said:


> Really....Have a bit of a think about that statemant and where people like that start grooming children. Fcuk'n hell WEAL..I cant beleive you made a statement like that...if it was your daughter...I bet you would have a different view


If you had read the next line I said 'I can't say it couldn't happen' and your right, I would have a different view if it had happened to one of my daughters, it would have been sorted out immediately one way or the other, long before I would even think about starting a thread up about it.


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## Ducatiboy stu (3/10/15)

Your good WEAL


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## Feldon (3/10/15)

Stu, if it were me I'd take it to straight to the cops. That way there will be a record taken. If you deal with the guy yourself or with management a record of your complaint may not be kept (just checkout the cover-up that a wide range of organisations have done as revealed in the current Royal Commission).

The cops won't necessarily name your child but will let the management know that a complaint has been received and they are watching the place and will do further background checks. They might have this guy on file for other complaints. 

If you don't do it for yourself do it for the other kids whose parents might not be as smart as you. You can bet your kid is not this guy's only target.

As for thinking you might jeopardise his career, he put it in jeopardy when he made the comments to your kid. The first rule of working-with-children is that you must never find yourself in a situation where you are alone with a child. And here is this guy trying to contrive just that, or at best testing the waters. That's how peds operate. He must be held to account, for your kid's safety, mine, and everybody eles's.


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## droid (3/10/15)

some people seem to be sure that this guy actually said these things

There's a little fella on my delivery run that waits for me each day, we chat - he's probably kinda age. I asked him if he was back to kinda next week after the holidays, and hey my little fella has that exact same jumper mate. I don't know what else to say except ask him questions, I told him a little baby magpie had fallen out of a tree and we should help it....the difference is his mum was nearby in the garden, listening to it all. Now if that conversation had happened without the mum there, he may well have gone inside and said God knows what about our chat, but she was there and it's ok. 

I am as paranoid as anyone, I have a girl and a boy, I would go to jail to avenge any wrong doing to them, as would many parents. I have a book written by a DA in the US about paedophiles and child molesters, there are some surprising statistics. The most likely thing that has happened here is an off the cuff comment to make your little fella feel good and included...a "hey man I like that game too and I play mine on a huge screen with big speakers, it's cool!" And your little fella gets in the car and says the carer said he should come around and play games...

You don't have to go back there or risk anything Stu, keep things balanced though when thinking about what we're all saying

Good luck mate and I feel for you


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## dammag (3/10/15)

Last year my son's grade three teacher suddenly went on "holidays" and then the class suddenly got a new teacher. Turns out he took some indecent photos of a male student. The police did nothing initially but as soon as the education department was approached they immediately removed him as this wasn't the first time he had done something like this. The school weren't aware of his history "privacy" and hasn't said more than "due to unforeseen circumstances your child is getting a new teacher". 

This has gone to court but hasn't been resolved as of yet as far as I know. 

This guy was also a junior football coach (didn't have any kids of his own in the team) and while out on bail was supposedly teaching at an Islamic school in contravention of his bail conditions. 

I like to give people the benefit of the doubt but go with your gut feelings on this one. Speak to the appropriate people but be happy if it is resolved as an honest misunderstanding.


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## zarniwoop (3/10/15)

dammag said:


> I like to give people the benefit of the doubt but go with your gut feelings on this one. Speak to the appropriate people but be happy if it is resolved as an honest misunderstanding.


.
Gut feeling is good approach, keep it sensible but as you have nothing else to go on and if your kids or you feel uncomfortable then it's worth pursuing.

Going to the police as mentioned is an option but the reality is unless something significant has happened they probably won't do much, the one exception to this is if the guy's done something before but even then you're not adding anything to their case as this stage.

Approaching the management is the first step, regardless of the reason assuming the guy actually said this (and it sounds like he did) he knows he's done something wrong as this will be against the policy of the center, if the management does nothing then escalate it to the next stage and only then approach the police. It's not that I think going to the police is a bad idea I just don't think it will achieve anything given what's happened.

Above all support and encourage your son as you are doing and don't panic


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## dicko (4/10/15)

Ducatiboy stu said:


> So.. i pick up my kids from their holiday center today and the youngest, who is 8.5 pipes up
> 
> " Dad, ***** ( one of the carers ) wants me to go around to his place so we can play playstation and he wants to show me his new games "
> 
> ...


Would it not have been better to turn around and go back to the child care centre manager and report this incident....
At best it was a harmless comment at worst the Paedo may have another child at his house while you are posting your story on a forum.
Your last three days would have been easier as well had it had been dealt with immediately.


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## petesbrew (5/10/15)

Stu you look like you've got your head screwed on normally, and I'd hate to be in your position.
I'd go to the management with this one, IMO.
Yeah talk you your kids. It's probably harmless - the carer in question is probably just a big kid, and it could've been an innocent remark.
But you can never be too careful.
All the best dude.


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## Tex N Oz (5/10/15)

Times have changed and it's not like it used to be for sure.
When I was a young boy of about 4 or 5, my mum and dad had no time for me at all. I did everything by myself and looking back was very lonely.
Our next-door neighbour was a young (probably early to mid 20's) soldier and he would invite me over to play a bit of catch or football. 
We became the best of mates to the point I was always staying at his house overnight or we would go camping, fishing, hunting, etc. He was like a father I never had.
He taught me how to cook as he was Italian and loved good food. 
I can honestly say that I would not be the man that I am today if it weren't for him. He's the only person who'd ever disciplined me or showed me any kind of love and attention.
When I was 11 he took a job in NY as a policeman and I never saw him again. I do remember him spending a few hours with my mum and dad before he left and when he drove away he had obviously been crying. Never heard from him again. A few years back I spent several months trying to track him down and found he'd moved from the NYPD to the FBI and then on to the US Marshal Service and the trail ended there. There are no records he even exists past 2001 and today he's completely removed from Google. I assume he's either dead or he's moved to the Secret Service as those guys are ghosts, but unlikely because he would be in his mid 60's now.
To this day I'm convinced he tried to talk my mum and dad into taking me with him and I wish they had let me because life sucked shit for years after that.
He had EVERY opportunity to be a paedophile and looking back, fit the profile to a tee. Never once was he inappropriate towards me.
Either I got damned lucky as a kid or they are just more prevalent now then they used to be. It just goes to show that not everyone who reaches out is a fuckwit with bad intentions.
I'm not saying don't take it very seriously, I'm just saying be as objective as you can be (hard as a father, I know) and get some facts about this guy. I do acknowledge that by today's standards, that's highly inappropriate to say to an 8 year old. I have a 3 year old daughter and a 7 year old son and I am fiercely protective of them. Anybody ever hurts one of my kids and I'll ******* hurt their everything.
I get it. I too would be horrified.
It could have been a misunderstanding, an improperly thought out suggestion of good will, or he could be a sick **** who needs a dose of barbarism to see the errs of his ways.


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## manticle (5/10/15)

Thing is he will have been trained not to say that kind of thing so IF he did say it he's either bad at his job or dodgy.

Yes times have changed (and for good reason) but this is no guy next door - this is a professional behaving unprofessionally (allegedly).


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## tavas (5/10/15)

Cops can't do anything until an act has been committed. I know because a mum at kindy threatened my boy twice. I'm sure they took a detour past her house at one point (small country town) but I will never know for sure.

We approached the local police but they can't do anything until something actually happens.

Doesn't hurt to let them know in case there is a file on this guy, but then if there's a file on him how did he get a job working with kids?


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## Ducatiboy stu (5/10/15)

tavas said:


> Doesn't hurt to let them know in case there is a file on this guy, but then if there's a file on him how did he get a job working with kids?


Exactly.

When I was used to have to work in schools, even though It was only in the office's and not associating with students I have to get a working with children & criminal history check. I lost count of how many times I had to go thru that


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## Mardoo (5/10/15)

In Victoria every daycare is required to post a complaint procedure ladder. Not sure about your state but there will almost certainly be something like it posted saying who to talk and in what order. 

I'll say my opinion, and what I'd do, again. As parents, and in my case as a daycare worker, we have a duty to ensure the right people are paying attention to the wrong ones. Daycare management are trained in examining these sorts of interactions. Although broadcasting your concerns would be unfair if the guy is innocent, approaching the relevant management and authorities is neither unfair nor going to unduly get him into trouble. If he wants a future in daycare he MUST learn how to relate appropriately to the kids.

Shit got as bad as it is with Paedophiles because people yeah-but-ed and he'd-never-do-that-ed through situations that scared the shit out of them. It's important to give the people trained to deal with it appropriately the chance to do so. 

Talk to his manager and report your concerns to the Department of Education, or whoever oversees care for kids in your state, and let them handle it. He almost certainly won't be treated unjustly if he hasn't done anything more than be an idiot. If he has, he'll be found out and that'll be one more sick fucker who's removed from contact with kids.


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## dicko (7/10/15)

So, has this guy had his house raided and his computer impounded, is he locked up or released on bail, has he been beaten up by other gaol inmates who although they are criminals themselves, despise child molesters or was it just a geniune offer to play a computer game?

Or did you just "let it slide"?


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## real_beer (7/10/15)

I'm so glad we brought our kids up in a one income family. They'd either get dropped off at school and escorted in the grounds or taken to the bus stop watched get on the school bus.

All the money the governments of the world spend on law enforcement & incarceration, family welfare programs that don't work, & fighting drug problems etc., would've been better spent designing infrastructures that give families the ability to survive financially having a one full-time stay at home parent.

It might sound like a crazy idea but if you tallied up all the money spent on all these finger in the leaking dyke solutions we have these days you could probably fund another full scale 5 year world war and still have some change. FIFO has to be one of the best wrecking balls ever invented for destroying families, the towns and communities the mining companies take over.

It might seem like I've gotten right off topic but if young families had the ability to have a full-time stay at home parent until the kids reached high school at least, the whole of society would benefit enormously. If I was given chance to have a do over of my life again today, I wouldn't have kids if I couldn't have one of us watching over them personally until you've taught them a good footing for building themselves a good life. But I'm old school and luckily my two kids are grown up and doing well for themselves.


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## komodo (7/10/15)

Is this bloke a qualified carer or is he a student carer? I'm just wondering if inexperience has lead to him saying something without thinking. Again like others have said - what was said Vs what has your child heard.

In many ways I take my hat off to you for not reacting knee jerk - but by the same token you don't want too much water under the bridge before raising it with the appropriate people (senior staff or authorities etc)

How would I react? Honestly as a father of two under two I can't say. I know my eldest has been baby sat in our home by one of his carers - but that's a female carer. Would I feel as comfortable with a male carer? probably not - and most definitely I'd question any staffer inviting my children over like that. I mean it would be different if the staffer was chatting to you and you were, lets say for example, chatting about brewing, and your young fella is hanging around pestering and the staffer said "You should come around for a beer..." to you "so you can come around and play my new games on my playstation" to your son. I'd probably not really think too much about it. Context is key.

I certainly don't envy the position you find yourself in. Hopefully it was an innocent &/or misheard/misinterpreted comment. But I do think you should at least raise this issue with senior staff.




> He had EVERY opportunity to be a paedophile and looking back, fit the profile to a tee. Never once was he inappropriate towards me.


Very interesting story and one that has certain parallels to my own mothers story growing up.
My grandparents had a friend who was a bachelor. He used to look after my mother and take her out shopping and to the zoo and stuff like that. Any way when my mother was about 13 or 14 Dave turns to my grandparents and says "I'm going to New Zealand for a holiday to meet some family I've not seen since back home (home being England), and I'd like to take Glenda if that's ok with you?".
So off they go over to NZ for a few weeks. My grandparents thinking nothing of it only "what a lovely thing to do"
Now as it turns out Dave was a perfect gentleman and nothing happened. My mother still speaks very fondly of "Uncle" Dave and my sister calls him "great uncle dave" (I never met the bloke)

Now is it that that kind of relationship was more accepted back then? and that there were less pedos? or is it that because of the stories that have come out we are now much more conscious, both about who is interacting with our children and also being put in situations with children (especially as men).
To be honest I think its a bit of both and I think its quite sad as there are a lot of genuine people out there that are too scared to help kid - be it in sport, scouts, being a good neighbour - what ever. Because of the fear of being labelled a pedo.

I look back as a kid and I remember knocking about with a bloke who would've been probably mid - late 30s (maybe even older) who was slightly mentally handicapped. Now we thought it was awesome cause here was this adult who was like a child. But I think about how I would react now if that was my kids knocking about with a much older mentally handicapped person and I'm not sure I'd be real comfortable. Again nothing happened but the "what if"...


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## dicko (10/10/15)

dicko said:


> Would it not have been better to turn around and go back to the child care centre manager and report this incident....
> At best it was a harmless comment at worst the Paedo may have another child at his house while you are posting your story on a forum.
> Your last three days would have been easier as well had it had been dealt with immediately.





Ducatiboy stu said:


> Exactly.
> 
> When I was used to have to work in schools, even though It was only in the office's and not associating with students I have to get a working with children & criminal history check. I lost count of how many times I had to go thru that


Yes, anyone who works within a similar environment has to comply with the necessary checks applicable to state requirements.



dicko said:


> So, has this guy had his house raided and his computer impounded, is he locked up or released on bail, has he been beaten up by other gaol inmates who although they are criminals themselves, despise child molesters or was it just a geniune offer to play a computer game?
> Or did you just "let it slide"?


So Stu, what happened? I am sure that are many of us are wondering the outcome!!!


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## wide eyed and legless (11/10/15)

To be fair dicko, it didn't totally go unreported, stu did report it here, where else could you get a larger congregation of 'Bar room Barristers'. 
But as you questioned, what has happened? I for one am waiting for stu's response to the outcome.


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## Ducatiboy stu (11/10/15)

The Court of AHB


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## dicko (11/10/15)

Ducatiboy stu said:


> So..
> 
> I ******* shit myself
> 
> ...


You are the OP Stu,

There are some of us that are interested in the outcome, after three pages of infinite wisdom and advice the actual result would be good to know...


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## droid (28/10/15)

> You are the OP Stu,
> 
> There are some of us that are interested in the outcome, after three pages of infinite wisdom and advice the actual result would be good to know...


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## malt and barley blues (29/10/15)

The carer went off to Melbourne to seek his fortune, became a train driver and is now living happily making $143,000 a year. 

The End


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## technobabble66 (29/10/15)

I heard he's only working 4 hrs a day....

:lol: you're a shit stirrer MBB!

Though I must admit I'm keen to get an update to this.


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## Mardoo (29/10/15)

It may be he's been told not to talk about it further until someone's had a look into it.


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## technobabble66 (29/10/15)

But we're family!
Surely that's ok.


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## dicko (29/10/15)

Mardoo said:


> It may be he's been told not to talk about it further until someone's had a look into it.


It would be OK to talk on here.....our lips are sealed.

Maybe stu did the " protective dad" and went around and beat the shit out of the pedo...

Well I mean "gave him a stern talking to"


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## real_beer (29/10/15)

DS is on the forum nearly everyday and could have replied at anytime if he choose to do so, I believe he must have a good reason for not doing so and It might be time to respect his decision for not saying anything further as it is a very serious topic.

People who live around him probably know he's a brewer and if they ever looked up this forum and recognized him as the author it might create a situation that go's down a path he doesn't want it too. When he first posted he would have been on the spot and very upset and maybe thought asking for guidance here was a good idea. I myself don't think it was, but it was understandable. Maybe we should now let this thread die peacefully and just take away the message how important it is to always keep a focused eye on our children's welfare as they grow up.


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## technobabble66 (29/10/15)

^^ true. I'm obviously curious, but agree it's probably best to let it lie. I'm sure he can update us if and when he's ready.


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## Ducatiboy stu (29/10/15)

real_beer said:


> DS is on the forum nearly everyday


True


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