# Things I Have Leart From Home Brewing



## Rowy (30/11/11)

Gents,
Just a thread but being a 6 or so talluies into a session I thought I'd give it a go. Two things each!

I'll start;

That cleaned doesn't mean sanitised (easy I know)

That hops have a taste. (Converted megaswiller but not yet a hop head)

Rowy


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## psytramp (30/11/11)

maybe spelling is next on the list....

2 more ales to go!!

hehe


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## Asha05 (30/11/11)

Things that i have learnt from homebrewing...

For around $20 i can make something better than a $40 slab...

And that i now drink more beer...but actually enjoy different beers...!


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## Midnight Brew (30/11/11)

I've learnt from home brewing that the world is your fermenter, you can craft up whatever you like.


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## Rowy (30/11/11)

Midnight Brew said:


> I've learnt from home brewing that the world is your fermenter, you can craft up whatever you like.




I like that midnight brew! You can do the style guide thing or not and no-one cares! It's all up to how much you like it.


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## yardy (30/11/11)

two things i have learnt from HB...

_in the early days my blood would run a whipper snipper.

you can't restore a '68 rambler rebel by drinking beer and staring at it._


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## esssee (30/11/11)

I have learnt that:

1. Most people in Australia know shit all about beer.

2. I love it when Yardy posts, so I can see his Profile Picture.

P.S. I love Canada.


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## Lecterfan (30/11/11)

No one else can brew it for you. Give it a crack for yourself.


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## yardy (30/11/11)

deep


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## peaky (30/11/11)

Two things I've learned from brewing,

1. I can brew a nice beer for a good price.

2. I can brew an absolutely terrible beer for about the same price.


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## Rowy (30/11/11)

I like yardy's comment. I've asked a few blokes over the years if I could see their missus box but it always got ugly don't know why....


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## yardy (30/11/11)

Rowy said:


> I like yardy's comment. I've asked a few blokes over the years if I could see their missus box but it always got ugly don't know why....



ten dollars says you and bribie get bashed on your piss up on friday :lol:


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## Rowy (30/11/11)

yardy said:


> ten dollars says you and bribie get bashed on your piss up on friday :lol:



Yardster I know not what you mean...............


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## Thefatdoghead (30/11/11)

I have learned:

That you can cold steep specialty grains.
That raw wheat is a C#*T to mill and takes ages to sweep up when it spills under the fridge and couch.


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## Lecterfan (30/11/11)

yardy said:


> deep



:lol:


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## Blackapple (30/11/11)

Things I have learned from HB

I'm not allowed in the kitchen

Noone wants to talk about beer at a bbq or party (hence join brew club)

Galaxy is shit hops

There are a few cockheads on AHB and some fantastic brewers who give great advice

I cant drink most beers at a regular pub

Temperature

Yeast

SANITATION

People materialize when you have a keg fridge
( If you build it they will come )
:icon_cheers:


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## jasonharley (30/11/11)

I don't need a filtration system providing i crash cool and store at 2 deg for at least 2 weeks


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## stux (30/11/11)

I have learnt how to clean buckets


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## Lord Raja Goomba I (30/11/11)

1. Yeast makes sticky malt water into beer - treat it tenderly like a lover you want to hang around; and
2. No commercial brewery can even go near whacking the level of hops I do in a brew, and not be bankrupt.

Goomba


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## bignath (1/12/11)

THREE things i have learnt from home brewing....

1. If i'm transferring wort from a cube to the fermenter and my feet are getting wet, then i've left the tap open...
2. If i'm transferring wort from a cube to the fermenter and my feet are getting wet, then i've left the tap open again...
3. If i'm transferring wort from a cube to the fermenter.........


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## Aces High (1/12/11)

What ive learnt about beer:

I costs bugger all to make good beer. Each beer I pour costs about $10 bucks cause I keep buying new gear to make cheap beer


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## sp0rk (1/12/11)

Things i've learnt from homebrewing

1. I've made a poor career choice, brewing is better than data entry
2. Friends don't give a toss about how good the flavour of "X" craft beer is, TED and Carlton Dry are "Refreshing and easy to drink"
3. Even with just a kit, some hops and malt extract, I can make a beer that tastes far better than any megaswill
4. The Mrs does NOT want to hear any more ideas about my next beer/cider experiment, keg fridge upgrade or anything to do whatsoever with brewing


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## newguy (1/12/11)

1. Don't try to make your brewing system "perfect" - perfect is a moving target and is always just beyond reach.
2. Other brewers have almost always overcome whatever problem you're currently trying to solve. If facing difficulty, ask, don't re-invent the wheel.


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## Zizzle (1/12/11)

If your friends don't appreciate good beer, get new friends.


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## Dazza88 (1/12/11)

I learnt HB isn't about saving money


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## Dave70 (1/12/11)

Post boil wort _will _ form blisters and cause the lips to swell if siphoned into the mouth. 

Precautions: Check ball valve operates freely, as opposed to snapping off flush with the valve body. Best done prior to filling the kettle..

Risk factors: 1st beer consumed at 'mash in' stage.


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## bignath (1/12/11)

Dave70 said:


> Post boil wort _will _ form blisters and cause the lips to swell if siphoned into the mouth.
> 
> Precautions: Check ball valve operates freely, as opposed to snapping off flush with the valve body. Best done prior to filling the kettle..
> 
> Risk factors: 1st beer consumed at 'mash in' stage.



:lol: we have a winner!


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## petesbrew (1/12/11)

Relax Don't Worry Have A Home Brew


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## DU99 (1/12/11)

clean and sanitize and if in doubt do it again..and don't believe instructions on can's of whatever


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## Spork (1/12/11)

3 freezers and 2 'fridges is not too many.
Patience really is a virtue.
I need a shed.


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## MarkBastard (1/12/11)

When you have a rare night on commercial megaswill you get the worst hangover. I don't care what they say, there's got to be some reason why that happens. I can drink home brewed 8% beers and not have anywhere near as bad a hangover.


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## Flash_DG (1/12/11)

1. Men in the street will come from everywhere when they smell you brewing in the carport.
2. Have not met a woman yet that likes the smell of brewing beer.


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## Rowy (1/12/11)

Flash_DG said:


> 1. Men in the street will come from everywhere when they smell you brewing in the carport.
> 2. Have not met a woman yet that likes the smell of brewing beer.




How true is that! SWMBO carries on about the smell yet my sons love it...........must be the mars venus thing


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## loikar (1/12/11)

1. Everyone likes the smell of their own farts better than everyone else's, regardless if they've smelt better farts or not
2. My beer is better than your beer



goto 1

BF


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## edschache (1/12/11)

1. If you want to spend money on homebrew talk to Anthony at Craftbrewer, he'll sell you enough stuff to make you feel like you know what you're doing and give you enough advice that your beer will taste like you know what you're doing.

2. As soon as you start making beer and drinking it from a keg instead of a commercially bottled beer off the shelf your other half will accuse you of drinking too much even though you might be drinking less.

3. Some people will turn their nose up at you when you say you drink homebrew. It's ok these people are generally wine snobs who don't understand the first thing about beer. Ignore them, have a beer, be happy.

4. Read the forums. You will learn so much about brewing, that you wouldn't have thought of looking for elsewhere, just because others are talking about it.


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## hsb (1/12/11)

1. Throw away the airlock
2. Don't drink the yeast


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## Logman (1/12/11)

If you're going to have a 3v in a townhouse with a keezer, 8 kegs, fermenting fridge and attend bulk buys, you better get good at packing a whole lotta shit into small spaces.


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## petesbrew (1/12/11)

Things I've learnt.
Patience.
Brewing is fun.
Keeping a brewshed/toolshed tidy = cleanup every three or so months to fit everything in without falling over.
Always brew outside, and keep the doors & windows closed to keep the wife happy.
Sanitisation.
Brew whatever you like.
Cost isn't an issue when you're brewing belgians... they always work out a tiny fraction of the cost of a slab of chimay blues!
Always point that out to the wife when she asks how much [insert ingredient/gear] cost?


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## _HOME_BREW_WALLACE_ (1/12/11)

esssee said:


> I have learnt that:
> 
> 1. Most people in Australia know shit all about beer.
> 
> ...



Must be a canadian to post something like "most people in australia know shit all about [insert topic here] " 

I have learnt:

Work (the day job) can seriously inhibit the amount brewing you can do. to much work, No Time. Not enough work, No money.
Kegging is awesome (I just need kegs  )
You can brew pissed, just don't fall asleep during the boil


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## JDW81 (1/12/11)

Flash_DG said:


> 1. Men in the street will come from everywhere when they smell you brewing in the carport.
> 2. Have not met a woman yet that likes the smell of brewing beer.



My missus actually likes the smell of the many different aspects of brewing. Found her one day with three or four bags of hops trying to pick out the different aromas and will regularly stand over the kettle having a good old smell of the contents.

JD


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## MarkBastard (1/12/11)

My missus likes the small when you start the mash but not the boil. I'm the same to be honest. The boil smells bad presumably due to unwanted crap being boiled out of the beer.


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## stl (1/12/11)

Rowy said:


> How true is that! SWMBO carries on about the smell yet my sons love it...........must be the mars venus thing



My wife loves the smell. Are you telling me I married a man? Shit.


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## muthead (1/12/11)

The things I have learnt whilst still in the total infancy of my brewing career:

1) Do not use your new born childs muslin wrap to strain steeped grain and/or hop boils into fermenter. Your wife *WILL *tear you a new one.

2) Always be prepared to listen to those whom have faced similar challenges. They will help you.

3) I cannot wait to receive a parcel from Hong Kong with my STC in.

4) My beer does not tell me I spend too much money on brewing equipment. My wife does.


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## Malted (1/12/11)

JDW81 said:


> "My missus actually likes the smell of the many different aspects of brewing". she "will regularly stand over the kettle having a good old smell of the contents".



I hope it doesn't make your beer too fishy! 
h34r:


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## Truman42 (1/12/11)

1. If your new to brewing you cant ask questions on a forum that may have been asked before, even in the beginners section, or you will always piss someone off. Instead you must search 350 posts slightly related to your topic to find the information you need.

2. Despite pissing some people off, there is always someone only to helpful and willing to share there advice and help you out.

3. Even though it takes hours and hours AG brewing is fun and something that the wife and I do together to spend quality time together.

4. No matter what type of HB you do when you offer it to non HBers they will always turn up their nose and say no thanks, I hate the taste of that Home brew shit, then continue to skull their megaswill goats piss.

5. My wife loves the smell and taste of wort..But shes definitely not a guy.


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## MarkBastard (1/12/11)

Malted said:


> I hope it doesn't make your beer too fishy!
> h34r:


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## Ryan WABC (1/12/11)

1. I've learnt that my home brew is shit and that I should stick to real beer like VB and XXXX.
2. That you shouldn't use malt. Dextrose will produce a cleaner beer.
3. That you should roll a bottle of home brew across a table to rouse the sediment before you drink it.
4. That there are three styles of beer: ale, lager and stout.

You'd be amazed at how much valuable info I've picked up from people that don't brew beer!


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## petesbrew (1/12/11)

Ryan WABC said:


> 1. I've learnt that my home brew is shit and that I should stick to real beer like VB and XXXX.
> 2. That you shouldn't use malt. Dextrose will produce a cleaner beer.
> 3. That you should roll a bottle of home brew across a table to rouse the sediment before you drink it.
> 4. That there are three styles of beer: ale, lager and stout.
> ...


5. A heatbelt is essential to get the airlock performing, and getting it brewed in 3 days max. We're drinkers - we're talking about maximum turnout here!


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## Nick JD (1/12/11)

That while the finer points of Belgian Ales, their origins, their idiosyncrasies and their production techniques are absolutely fascinating to other beer fans and brewers, going on and on about them to those who drink Australian Lagers is a lot like turning up to a BBQ wearing a Star Trek uniform. 

Beer making is a diverse and interesting subject, but 75% of all beer drinkers drink it to get drunk. Trying to educate their tastebuds is like adding strawberry flavouring to crack cocaine.


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## JDW81 (1/12/11)

Malted said:


> I hope it doesn't make your beer too fishy!
> h34r:



She doesn't like it that much, if it were 40L of chocolate I might be in trouble.


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## Lord Raja Goomba I (1/12/11)

Truman said:


> 5. My wife loves the smell and taste of wort..But shes definitely not a guy.



Or if she is, she's got the best surgeon in the universe.


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## petesbrew (1/12/11)

Nick JD said:


> That while the finer points of Belgian Ales, their origins, their idiosyncrasies and their production techniques are absolutely fascinating to other beer fans and brewers, going on and on about them to those who drink Australian Lagers is a lot like turning up to a BBQ wearing a Star Trek uniform.


 :lol:


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## Cocko (1/12/11)

1. To hover over links before clicking them, unless you want a more lot great pishab.
2. To look at a pile of hard rubbish like it is all deconstructed brewery parts...


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## Muggus (1/12/11)

1. Whoever says you can't get hungover from homebrew obviously hasn't been drinking enough!
2. Following the instructions on packaging doesn't always turn out for the best.


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## alfadog (1/12/11)

At first i thought HB would teach me patience, but now i think it has only taught me to appreciate a good beer


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## _HOME_BREW_WALLACE_ (1/12/11)

Muggus said:


> Following the instructions on packaging doesn't always turn out for the best.




So what your saying, is that my home brand lager twocan that i brewed with a kg of dextrose wont taste anything like tooheys extra dry even though i brewed it with S-23 @ 25 - 32 Degrees? 

EDIT: PS: Sorry for the OT!


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## Rowy (1/12/11)

1. The kitchen accessories section of a supermarket all of a sudden takes on a whole new significance.

2. 99% of ex homebrewers I met left after doing a couple of 'Brigalow' brews 20 years ago and thats why they know homebrew tastes like shit.


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## JDW81 (1/12/11)

alfadog said:


> At first i thought HB would teach me patience, but now i think it has only taught me to appreciate a good beer



I've come to realise you learn best by doing. Books, articles and forums are a great resource but there really is no subsitute for hands on experience. The bigger the mistake, the bigger the lesson


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## Lord Raja Goomba I (1/12/11)

JDW81 said:


> ...The bigger the mistake, the bigger the lesson.



I learn more from failure than success, and the beer I make after my failure beer is usually the best I've done up to that point for that style.

Goomba


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## 1975sandman (1/12/11)

Would have thought that you learned how to ruin your taste bubs with your hoppiness LRJ!


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## beerdrinkingbob (1/12/11)

Go to big W and buy a 19ltr pot and ditch the tin...... :kooi:


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## komodo (1/12/11)

I really like Rice in my beers.
you can never have too many spec malts.


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## Lord Raja Goomba I (1/12/11)

lazy brew said:


> Would have thought that you learned how to ruin your taste bubs with your hoppiness LRJ!



Pretty much, I've ruined it for commercial pale ales.

however, they are quite fine for lagers, pils, Aussie Ale (had a CPA the other day), and anything else.

Further to my comment above (being serious for a moment), I wrote a massive debrief on my latest beer, as to why it didn't work, what I reckon I did wrong, went back to BJCP guidelines for some research to help this out.

Figured out why it all didn't quite come together. Don't get me wrong, I still have a (now half) keg of drinkable beer - but drinkable ain't the benchmark I use anymore.

Goomba


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## alfadog (1/12/11)

I have also learnt 10 wrong ways of doing things for every way that works out


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## Truman42 (1/12/11)

Lord Raja Goomba I said:


> Or if she is, she's got the best surgeon in the universe.



Shit I hope not...Maybe she is..


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## Truman42 (1/12/11)

Cocko said:


> 1. To hover over links before clicking them, unless you want a more lot great pishab.




Wish I had learnt that one before now..


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## Logman (1/12/11)

Rowy said:


> 1. The kitchen accessories section of a supermarket all of a sudden takes on a whole new significance.


Wait until your next stay in a hospital! Stainless steel everywhere, sterilized containers left and right, all kinds of pumps.


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## Gar (1/12/11)

Cocko said:


> 1. To hover over links before clicking them, unless you want a more lot great pishab.



:lol: you have made our internet browsing much more labour intensive pricko!

I have learned that this "cheap" beer making business can become quite expensive when the G.A.S kicks in h34r:


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## Fish13 (1/12/11)

lol i will never look at a breast pump again....

things i have learnt...

1. no such thing as stupid question only stupid people....

2. brigalow make some fairly crappy kits and some of there gear (caps, wands, bottle cappers and airlocks) is okay. 

3. Silo ted has a man crush on ross from craft brewer.

4. bribie g loves the bag

5. its too easy to make shit beer but it will still taste better then xxxx gold


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## Lakey (1/12/11)

I have learnt if the brew day seems to have run smoothly something has definately gone wrong! :icon_drool2:


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## tavas (1/12/11)

Don't brew in thongs. Wort can blister.

Worst brew day ever. Should have packed up before the boil.


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## enoch (1/12/11)

You can save money homebrewing
Don't add up how much you have spent on stuff....


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## bung89 (2/12/11)

Haha I already filled a whole thread on the things I learnt from my first all grain brew but 2 things I've learnt from home brewing would have to be:

1. Eating is not cheating, it's actually a necessity if you insist on sinking pints from 9 AM on a brew day (This was the main thing I took out of that first AG)

2. Homebrewing will turn you into a bit of a beer snob (I now only enjoy drinking at about 4 of the many pubs in town because of the beers they have on tap)


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## hoohaaman (2/12/11)

How great beer actually is and it's importance in our history.


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## hopie89 (2/12/11)

1. There is always more things you need to buy for brewing no matter how much stuff you think you have.

2. People throw out some awesome things in hard rubbish.


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## boingk (2/12/11)

Two things:

1: Most people wouldn't know good a beer if it inserted itself into their rectal cavity... while still in the bottle.

2: You often don't feel like brewing when you get home at 1am from your shift at the pub!

Cheers - boingk


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## Flewy (2/12/11)

1. I haven't had a question yet that hasn't already been answered somewhere on AHB, but sometimes you have to wade through a lot of crap to find it

2. $19 pot from Big W was the best money I ever spent on brew gear, but things have gotten expensive since then

3. Having a megaswill drinker say "this doesn't taste like homebrew" then pour himself another (and another) was gold

Cheers,
Flewy


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## drtomc (2/12/11)

1. Hydrometers don't bounce. 

2. Further trials fail to disprove 1.

T.


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## WarmBeer (2/12/11)

1. C6H12O6 -> 2(CH3CH2OH) + 2(CO2) + ATP
2. Brewing makes learning chemistry much, much more interesting than my year 12 teacher ever did


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## Midnight Brew (2/12/11)

another two from me

2. Im glad I've decided not to be a brewer as a career. I enjoy it far too much as a hobby and dont think I could brew the same couple of beers for the rest of my career. 

3. When tasting beers at a showcase or sampling on your own, dont taste the IPA first... build up to it so you CAN taste everything else.


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## Jazzafish (2/12/11)

Nick JD said:


> That while the finer points of Belgian Ales, their origins, their idiosyncrasies and their production techniques are absolutely fascinating to other beer fans and brewers, going on and on about them to those who drink Australian Lagers is a lot like turning up to a BBQ wearing a Star Trek uniform.
> 
> Beer making is a diverse and interesting subject, but 75% of all beer drinkers drink it to get drunk. Trying to educate their tastebuds is like adding strawberry flavouring to crack cocaine.



Yes, been there!


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## Jazzafish (2/12/11)

1) Your beer is only good if people ask for more, does not matter what is said.
2) It takes a lot of homebrew to give me a hangover, but strangely small amount of megaswill.


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## bignath (2/12/11)

hopie said:


> 2. People throw out some awesome things in hard rubbish.



Yep, like 500lt chest freezers that still work beautifully well!

Getting its final coat of paint today, should be operational by sunday. Pics are a comin'


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## Screwtop (2/12/11)

HERMS Brewing is mostly waiting around, cleaning up and moving heavy things.

Wine is an education, beer is a conversation 




Australian Radio Brews News: http://www.brewsnews.com.au/


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## Barry (2/12/11)

1. My assistant brewer is called Murphy.
2. It costs a lot to save money.


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## punkin (5/12/11)

1. That while helping the missus mop 15l of beer out of the bottom of your new kegerator and cleaning carpets, you will sound so lame (even to yourself) explaining why you didn't replace the 5c 'O' rings that came FREE with your secondhand kegs from Ross that you will just shut up talking.

2. That if you are falling asleep on the lounge everynight after tea, you need to reassess your attenuation figures and your efficiency in brewmate.


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## Thefatdoghead (5/12/11)

Appologizing to your misses just doesn't seem enough when she slipped on the tiles in the middle of the night and nearly broke her neck on the stairs because the keg leaked while your away at work.

The taste and aroma of clove is 4-vinyl guiacol.


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## Truman42 (5/12/11)

If you go to Spotlight to buy some Swiss voile and cotton or Target to buy some stockings....

It doesn't necessarily mean your a queer who likes making frocks and dressing in womans clothes.

But if you are you now have a good cover story.


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## petesbrew (5/12/11)

You're happy about freakishly cold temperatures in summer!


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## punkin (5/12/11)

Spotlight is the best place in town for a perv.


WeDon'THaveBeachesHerePunkin


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## Fish13 (5/12/11)

punkin said:


> Spotlight is the best place in town for a perv.
> 
> 
> WeDon'THaveBeachesHerePunkin



i find BCF is quite good...... or coffee shops when i with the tin lids

Still nothing beats standing out the front of the high school with a bag of boiled sweets


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## Truman42 (5/12/11)

punkin said:


> Spotlight is the best place in town for a perv.
> 
> 
> WeDon'THaveBeachesHerePunkin



...if your into Nannas... hey but each to his own mate, what you do is your business...


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## punkin (5/12/11)

Truman said:


> ...if your into Nannas... hey but each to his own mate, what you do is your business...



Well, i am shacked up with one. Spose that's acceptable for a poppy?


NotJustNannasAtOurSpotlightPunkin


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## Truman42 (5/12/11)

punkin said:


> Well, i am shacked up with one. Spose that's acceptable for a poppy?
> 
> 
> NotJustNannasAtOurSpotlightPunkin



Well yeh if your a poppy then thats all good. Your lucky, my local spotlight only has nannas..


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## lukec (5/12/11)

Thing I've learned from brewing
1- it's impossible to drink a VB at a mates place after you have ran out of your own homebrew2- it has not saved me any money,


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## Snow (5/12/11)

1. If you're gong to use cardboard as a hopper because you're too cheap to buy the manufactured SS one, then make sure it is secured to the mill with at least 2 wraps of gaffa tape.

2. Don't leave your fermenter on the toilet after taking a gravity reading. 

Cheers - Snow


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## .DJ. (5/12/11)

petesbrew said:


> You're happy about freakishly cold temperatures in summer!


not when you just pitched a Saison yeast!!! :angry:


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## MarkBastard (5/12/11)

Snow said:


> 2. Don't leave your fermenter on the toilet after taking a gravity reading.



:lol: :lol: :lol:


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## punkin (5/12/11)

.DJ. said:


> not when you just pitched a Saison yeast!!! :angry:




I'm hearing you


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## JDW81 (5/12/11)

Midnight Brew said:


> another two from me
> 
> 2. Im glad I've decided not to be a brewer as a career. I enjoy it far too much as a hobby and dont think I could brew the same couple of beers for the rest of my career.
> 
> 3. When tasting beers at a showcase or sampling on your own, dont taste the IPA first... build up to it so you CAN taste everything else.



The other day I learnt that you can make a decent beer unless you own a black milk crate. Red/blue/grey are not suitable alternatives and will make your beer rubbish


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## argon (5/12/11)

1. PBW is not a substitute for 5.2 Stabalizer
2. PBW doesn't taste too bad in a finished beer


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## bignath (5/12/11)

Following on from Argon...

When you get distracted adding 5.2 to your mash, ten times the recommended dosage will not make you sick. 

Yes this did happen to me. Dont ask me how....

Needless to say, i didnt have a problem with my pH that brewday.


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## black_labb (5/12/11)

1. You are the most desireable when brewing. Try and get some all week and get knocked back, start brewing and suddenly you're weizen has been boiling for 3 hours and smells burnt from trub/protein getting onto the element. somehow you're still smiling. (not trying to claim 3 hours, I had other things like cubes to empty before the boil could be finished)

2. The burnt smell seems to settle out with the trub, but a bit of ginger will cover the last of it quite nicely making for a very nice beer.


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## alfadog (5/12/11)

i can spell "boobies" on my calculator


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## Mattress (5/12/11)

You can live like a hermit all your life with no one paying you any attention, but as soon as your planned brew day turns up everyone wants a piece of your time - the phone keeps ringing, people come knocking at the door, the kids need to be picked up and driven all over town, the wife needs you to pay an urgent bill, pick up her dry cleaning, someone you haven't heard from in years rings you up for a chat etc. For God's sake, leave me alone :angry:


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## argon (5/12/11)

According to the wife;

1. Leaving the house and going out for 4 hours is perfectly acceptable
2. Staying at home and brewing for 4 hours is totally unacceptable


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## edschache (5/12/11)

3 more learnt this week 

1. If you have a last minute change of heart on which cube you're going to pour into the fermenter then you probably need to review your yeast selection to make sure you've got something remotely reasonable. 
2. Yeast for a punchy ESB will probably not impress in a bland lager intended for the general new years crowd.
3. if you decide to throw an extra fermenter in a fridge that you store commercial bottles in and that fermenter happens to throw off some "interesting" smells it will be all you taste drinking from the bottles.


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## scrumpy (5/12/11)

Home brew can also give you a hangover!!!


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## JDW81 (5/12/11)

argon said:


> According to the wife;
> 
> 1. Leaving the house and going out for 4 hours is perfectly acceptable
> 2. Staying at home and brewing for 4 hours is totally unacceptable



Saturday: quote.

Missus JD: just off to chadstone for a few hours.
Me: no worries, have a nice afternoon.

Sunday: quote.

Me: just about to start brewing so I'll be busy for a few hours.
Missus JD: Are you really going to waste 4 hours on a sunday making beer?

Six hours walking around the shopping centre (and not buying anything) is an afternoon well spent, but 4 hours of making beer is a waste of an afternoon? Please explain?


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## Muggus (5/12/11)

JDW81 said:


> Saturday: quote.
> 
> Missus JD: just off to chadstone for a few hours.
> Me: no worries, have a nice afternoon.
> ...


To answer that is to answer the ultimate question, ie, what are women actually thinking?

So to answer your question, 42


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## vic45 (5/12/11)

JDW81 said:


> Saturday: quote.
> 
> Missus JD: just off to chadstone for a few hours.
> Me: no worries, have a nice afternoon.
> ...



Dood, you got 6 hours of peace and she did not buy anything! Win Win. h34r:


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## CONNOR BREWARE (6/12/11)

Rowy said:


> 1. The kitchen accessories section of a supermarket all of a sudden takes on a whole new significance.


As does the roof plumbing section at bunnings


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## Guysmiley54 (6/12/11)

vic45 said:


> Dood, you got 6 hours of peace and she did not buy anything! Win Win. h34r:



Lol!!

Perfect situation I think


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## d3vour3r (6/12/11)

women logic.... i think we will never get it, not because its more advanced, but because as males, we tend to think logically, a word unknown by women.

h34r: h34r: h34r: 

back on topic:

1. temperature is an important ingredient 
2. rinse out bottles after use, unless u like dry hopped cockys and a blue cheese malt character...


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## Nick JD (6/12/11)

1. There is very little difference between making a tutorial thread that gets 50,000 hits and SkyNet becoming self-aware. 

2. The PMs launch like ICBMs. 

3. This is not a problem, until someone bumps it ... again. :lol:


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## lukec (6/12/11)

The thing I learnt that it was worth doing a plumbing apprenticship before taking up home brewing. Makes life so much easier.


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## Clutch (6/12/11)

You learn to reign in your ADD. well sometimes anyw....Oh look something shiny and expensive!


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## Silo Ted (6/12/11)

Clutch said:


> You learn to reign in your ADD. well sometimes anyw....Oh look something shiny and expensive!



You have mentioned your ADD twice in as many hours ! 

We all have the same issues with shiny stuff, bro. Brewers are no different to European magpies in that regard


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## Fat Bastard (6/12/11)

I've just learnt that including my labour and materials, but not the shiny, blingy gear, water or electricity, I'd have to sell a longneck of my IPA for 40 bucks to make a $2 profit on each bottle.


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## Doubleplugga (6/12/11)

or you find yourself in the big green shed looking at welders and dreaming of building a new rig. even though you have never welded before and know nothing about it. but you still start thinking


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## CONNOR BREWARE (7/12/11)

cats75 said:


> or you find yourself in the big green shed looking at welders and dreaming of building a new rig. even though you have never welded before and know nothing about it. but you still start thinking


Do it cats, I'm sure I need some things welded somewhere at some stage...


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## gunbrew (7/12/11)

Make sure your grain hopper is stable before adding 6.5kg of grain...


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## winkle (7/12/11)

gunbrew said:


> Make sure your grain hopper is stable before adding 6.5kg of grain...



Dude, I feel your pain.

So sweep it up and mill it anyway did we?


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## petesbrew (7/12/11)

gunbrew said:


> Make sure your grain hopper is stable before adding 6.5kg of grain...


Oh man.


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## petesbrew (7/12/11)

Boiling wort does not agree with hydrometer tubes.... 




especially when the hydrometer is still in it. (managed to pull it out in time, but still heard a tiny crack).


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## bowser (7/12/11)

That hydrometers are the most fragile thing in the universe.

I swear i looked at my last one the wrong way and it exploded.


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## Muggus (7/12/11)

gunbrew said:


> Make sure your grain hopper is stable before adding 6.5kg of grain...


Wow that's amazing how it managed to spill all over the ground and spell "shit"...


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## Spork (9/12/11)

*I learned that a cube full of 70+c wort put into a chest freezer (to keep the sun off it), that was turned off, will still be 42c the next day. Waaay to hot for pitching.


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## ledgenko (9/12/11)

I have learnt that a Noob can post a new topic and get hammered for 13 pages before the moderators wipe it clean off cyber space...


I have learnt that Bribie can fill 3 pages counting down to 11111... 


I have learnt that I need to talk about something other than Beer when at a dinner party ..


I have learnt never to attend a dinner party again !!


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## Snow (9/12/11)

I've done that a few times. I always sweep it up and mill it anyway... after I've pulled all the rat droppings and dog hairs out h34r: 




gunbrew said:


> Make sure your grain hopper is stable before adding 6.5kg of grain...


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## MetalRooster (9/12/11)

i've learnt that when you hear c02 escaping from the post on your keg of Porter that has just been force carbed that it isn't a good idea to just give it a little push so it re-seats itself nicely. Especially when you are using the in-laws brand new apartment for brewing in whilst they are overseas.

End result was Porter all over me, all over the ceiling, all over the walls, all over their upholstered dining chairs. Managed to clean most of it up, but even after bringing in professionals to clean the upholstery you can still see the stains.


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## .DJ. (9/12/11)

ive learnt you just cant convert Crown Lager drinkers... :icon_vomit:


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## _HOME_BREW_WALLACE_ (9/12/11)

To always be aware for PORKSPIN links :angry:


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## winkle (9/12/11)

_WALLACE_ said:


> To always be aware for PORKSPIN links :angry:



particularly when at work :blink:


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## drtomc (9/12/11)

winkle said:


> particularly when at work :blink:



And when sitting next to the missus on the couch.

T.


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## Truman42 (9/12/11)

winkle said:


> particularly when at work :blink:



+1


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## Truman42 (9/12/11)

.DJ. said:


> ive learnt you just cant convert Crown Lager drinkers... :icon_vomit:



Or Corona drinkers...or VB drinkers.

And you cant convince people that not all home brew tastes like the home brew they once tried in their xmas gift Coopers kit with out of date tins and yeast.

Truman: Here try this latest Pale Ale that I brewed a few months back.

Mr Megaswill: No thanks mate I hate that home brew shit, I got a Coopers kit for Xmas and tried to make some beer and it tasted like crap.

Truman: Nah mate this is different, I brew using grains and boiling in an urn adding hops as I go just like the breweries do.

Mr Megaswill: Bullshit it will still taste like shit.

Truman: Drink your megaswill then, more for me.

Converted HB drinker: Gee this HB of yours is great Truman better than what I tried to make once. Cheers


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## Nick JD (9/12/11)

I've learnt that non-beer-afficionados judge a beer largely on its presentation. 

Recently I gave a few mates a couple of bottles (de-labled Stella stubbies) of filtered, bright Euro Lager with zero sediment. They were happy until I told them each bottle costs about 25c. Then they would take a swig, look at the bottle, concentrate on the taste and be a little angry they couldn't fault it. 

People who pay $2 for a bottle of beer really don't like knowing you make it just the same for a tenth of the cost. 

When the "homebrew is shit" fails, there's two types of people - those who will be bitter enough to slump back to _their megaswill_ just to prove a point; and those who will ask how to make it.

Doesn't matter if you turn up with award-winning beer if it's in a 2L Coke bottle.


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## wakkatoo (9/12/11)

I have learnt that homebrewing means you will branch out into other hobbies. Like beekeeping for example. I have also learnt that a quick 5 minute job on the homebrew side of things hurts far less than on the beekeeping side of things. Those girls opened a can of woop-arse on me last night! Probably won't see my knuckles for another week....

I've also learnt that whilst getting stung repeatedly on the wrist and hands, it is impossible for me to drop my glass of vienna lager


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## benno1973 (9/12/11)

wakkatoo said:


> I've also learnt that whilst getting stung repeatedly on the wrist and hands, it is impossible for me to drop my glass of vienna lager



Surely holding a cold lager in your hands is perfect rehabilitation? Sounds like you need to keep refilling that glass...


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## drtomc (9/12/11)

"Doesn't matter if you turn up with award-winning beer if it's in a 2L Coke bottle. "

Which is one reason why I own a corker, and print simple, but decent labels. If it looks nice, people will overlook hint of diacetyl, or that perhaps it's a bit estery for style.  

"The first bite is with the eye" - Kryten, Red Dwarf


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## ekul (9/12/11)

to check how much gas you have before you START brewing. Putting down a double with 15kg of grain in it and i just ran out of gas. Now its a toss up between paying $40 for gas now or waiting till tomorrow afternoon after work and pay $20 at the local hardware store. I think the brewing gods are angry so i might do it tomorrow arvo.


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## stl (9/12/11)

.DJ. said:


> not when you just pitched a Saison yeast!!! :angry:



It'll get there, don't fret! Freakishly cold is still 20+, right? Patience!


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## Malted (9/12/11)

ekul said:


> to check how much gas you have before you START brewing. Putting down a double with 15kg of grain in it and i just ran out of gas. Now its a toss up between paying $40 for gas now or waiting till tomorrow afternoon after work and pay $20 at the local hardware store. I think the brewing gods are angry so i might do it tomorrow arvo.



Really? Yeah I am not picking up what you're putting down. 
Lets say 1 week in primary, 1 week in secondary or CC'ing and you can't get gas in that period? 
Are you gassing it whilst it is fermenting? 
But hey failing all of that, bulk prime ya keg and let it sit for another 4 weeks. So you can't get gas within a six week period? 
Maybe I am not correctly reading what you have said. 
$20 must be a 1.5kg gas bottle or so?


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## pokolbinguy (9/12/11)

Malted I think he means gas for his burner


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## Malted (9/12/11)

pokolbinguy said:


> Malted I think he means gas for his burner




Yeah Pok that is obvious now :angry: 
Yep obviously I did not read it correctly, I suspected that to be the case but couldn't stop myself. 
Do I get some sort of award for being the biggest tool of the night?

PS That is why I have two propane gas bottles!


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## Doubleplugga (10/12/11)

No reward mate, just the good knowledge that all forum users had a good chuckle :lol: 

ps. I also have 2 gas bottles, its the only way to go.


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## kymba (10/12/11)

not only did i chuckle, but some beery spittle escaped my mouth too


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## Doubleplugga (10/12/11)

Some may have even exited through my nose!! ahhh time for another pint of Dr Smurto's Landlord from the keg :chug:


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## stux (10/12/11)

Two 9KG bottles is the only way to brew. The here and now and the next


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## punkin (10/12/11)

Malted said:


> Yeah Pok that is obvious now :angry:
> Yep obviously I did not read it correctly, I suspected that to be the case but couldn't stop myself.
> Do I get some sort of award for being the biggest tool of the night?
> 
> PS That is why I have two propane gas bottles!




If there was an award you'd already have it. It'd probably be named after you. <_<


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## ekul (10/12/11)

I think i do have two gas bottles, but where is the other one?


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## bignath (10/12/11)

ekul said:


> I think i do have two gas bottles, but where is the other one?



dunno.

Have you tried googling it? :blink:


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## Truman42 (10/12/11)

Big Nath said:


> dunno.
> 
> Have you tried googling it? :blink:


Roflmao


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## Truman42 (10/12/11)

OT....There's a guy at work who is convinced that one day Google will become self aware like skynet and take over the world. He refuses to use it. He also has four cats named after hookers hes fallen in love with and he washes his ice in soda water, so says it all really.


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## jyo (10/12/11)

gunbrew said:


> Make sure your grain hopper is stable before adding 6.5kg of grain...



Funniest thing in a long time!! Even the missus cackled.....like a dying old witch....


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## Spork (10/12/11)

- That some people can make drinkable beer with cans of goo, bags of sugar and no temp. control.
- That I am not one of those people.
- That I no longer am satisfied making drinkable beer. I want to make good / great beer!


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## Malted (10/12/11)

punkin said:


> If there was an award you'd already have it. It'd probably be named after you. <_<




Ah come on punks. I haven't been as much of a serial picture pest lately and even tried to give you a few sensible answers to stuff. Carn, give us a kiss.


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## the_new_darren (10/12/11)

Darren is always wrong

tnd


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## Nick JD (10/12/11)

the_new_darren said:


> Darren is always wrong
> 
> tnd



Not in that post.


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## loikar (10/12/11)

the_new_darren said:


> Darren is always wrong
> 
> tnd






Nick JD said:


> Not in that post.



BAM!


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## sav (10/12/11)

I have learnt do not dicuss beer related topics to your wife or any context about beer. tell them nothing they want to no nothing about it at all so dont involve them.

sav


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## boingk (10/12/11)

Flewy said:


> 1. I haven't had a question yet that hasn't already been answered somewhere on AHB, but sometimes you have to wade through a lot of crap to find it
> 
> 2. $19 pot from Big W was the best money I ever spent on brew gear, but things have gotten expensive since then
> 
> ...



Hell yeah on that one... always a very nice compliment from the megaswill drinkers out there!

- boingk


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## jackson (11/12/11)

1. if you brew a bad beer serve it ice cold so you can't taste it
2. if you brew a great beer serve it on the cold side of warm and taste that nectar of the gods


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## adniels3n (11/12/11)

Don't check the immersion chiller for leaks while it's in the boil. I can't believe I just did that.


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## daemon (11/12/11)

PBW / Nappisan cleans everything.


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## freezkat (11/12/11)

Daemon said:


> PBW / Nappisan cleans everything.


Making wine is physically easier than making beer. It just takes so dang long for the clouds to settle.

Some folks think cascade is bitter

Some folks think dark beer has more alcohol.

My kids think hot wort smells like ketchup. 

I'm not saving any money after I purchased and built all my equipment. Maybe next year I'll be heavier on the credit side of the ledger. (comparing cheap beer and craft brews to HB-ing too).
If 5-6Kg base malt per 23L batch still costs about $3/Kg in the states. 

You can buy big bags of base malt direct from your local grain elevator. Come this Spring I will do just that.


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## manticle (11/12/11)

Daemon said:


> Nappisan cleans everything.



Napisan/sodium percarb and boiling water cleans everything really ******* quickly.


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## freezkat (12/12/11)

manticle said:


> Napisan/sodium percarb and boiling water cleans everything really ******* quickly.



like sodium carbonate for bringing up the alkaline value in a pool?


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## kalbarluke (12/12/11)

1) Too much home brew is bad for my poo factory.


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## ledgenko (13/12/11)

To buy Napisan at Big W ... cheapest place I have found .. happy to be corrected though !!!  
And Beer clubs are cool ... a bit daunting to begin with but once settled in ... Awesome ... Nice to be Surrounded by fellow Beer addicts... 

Well done West Coast !!!


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## winkle (13/12/11)

ledgenko said:


> To buy Napisan at Big W ... cheapest place I have found .. happy to be corrected though !!!
> And Beer clubs are cool ... a bit daunting to begin with but once settled in ... Awesome ... Nice to be Surrounded by fellow Beer addicts...
> 
> Well done West Coast !!!



It pays to check the gas pressure setting on your regulator before using a carbonation cap on a PET bottle <_<


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## bcp (13/12/11)

1. You don't have to be wealthy to drink the best beers money can buy. 
2. The journey (process of making it) is as enjoyable as the destination - which is good because life is 99% journey. 
3. Make the right habits (ie, don't leave taps on, keep things clean, don't shortcut on sanitisation) and they reward you. 
4. But that i'm still infinitely capable of doing just really stupid things.


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## argon (13/12/11)

First time using quick disconnects don't pull them off the HLT when there's 95C water inside and the tap's open


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## manticle (13/12/11)

1. How to make good beer.
2. How to make shit beer.
3 How to tell the difference.


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## Batz (13/12/11)

sav said:


> I have learnt do not dicuss beer related topics to your wife or any context about beer. tell them nothing they want to no nothing about it at all so dont involve them.
> 
> sav




+1
It will never end well  

Batz


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## Truman42 (13/12/11)

manticle said:


> 1. How to make good beer.
> 2. How to make shit beer.
> 3 How to tell the difference.



Im still learning to do all 3 of these..


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## humulus (13/12/11)

manticle said:


> 1. How to make good beer.
> 2. How to make shit beer.
> 3 How to tell the difference.


Mastered the middle one!!! :lol:


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## IainMcLean (13/12/11)

How to solder
How to work stainless steel properly
How to weld
How to build a kegerator
How to program arduino (still learning)
How to make good beer
How to clone great beers
How to use excel properly
How to build a good recipe from scratch
How to impress your friends and other people with beer on tap at BBQs
How to build a great mancave/brewery/ for sanctuary from SWMBO during those monthlies
How to barter for goods from other brewers using beer as a commodity...


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## alfadog (13/12/11)

I also just learnt what the acronym SWMBO means, yeah I know I am slow


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## stillscottish (14/12/11)

winkle said:


> It pays to check the gas pressure setting on your regulator before using a carbonation cap on a PET bottle <_<



A regulator with a carbonation cap????

I think I stained the old Craftbrewer store carpet for life :lol:


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## winkle (14/12/11)

stillscottish said:


> A regulator with a carbonation cap????
> 
> I think I stained the old Craftbrewer store carpet for life :lol:


You failed to check the back-blast area !!! h34r:


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## .DJ. (14/12/11)

stl said:


> It'll get there, don't fret! Freakishly cold is still 20+, right? Patience!



oh its still early days... not fretting.. just hoping for some warmer days so she can finish off...


----------



## Diesel80 (14/12/11)

I have learnt that the SS ball valve purchased for beloved brew kettle and subsequently never installed is perfectly suited to fixing a dripping shower head.

Cheers,
D80


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## Truman42 (14/12/11)

alfadog said:


> I also just learnt what the acronym SWMBO means, yeah I know I am slow



I had to google IIRC and FTW..


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## marksfish (14/12/11)

alfadog said:


> I also just learnt what the acronym SWMBO means, yeah I know I am slow



afaik first used on "rumpole of the bailey" an old t.v show.


----------



## sponge (14/12/11)

Truman said:


> I had to google IIRC and FTW..



OTT was my downfall  



Sponge


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## stux (14/12/11)

marksfish said:


> afaik first used on "rumpole of the bailey" an old t.v show.



I think the book "She - A History of Adventure " aka "She - Who Must Be Obeyed", from 1887 predates Rumpole by a little bit 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/She:_A_History_of_Adventure


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## stillscottish (15/12/11)

I learned yesterday that 6.30 at night is not a good time to start a 3-step temp mash Bo-Pils.
Neither is it a good idea to get on the rum while you're waiting for the boil to finish.

Got it in the fridge at 3am


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## Spork (15/12/11)

that sometimes you should make 2 trips instead of just one


----------



## Pistol (15/12/11)

The more you brew and the better you get the more you drink and the more weight you put on!

I have to stop eating so I can drink more.


----------



## JDW81 (15/12/11)

To always check the tap on the fermenter is turned off before dumping in a full cube. Thankfully only 3 or so litres were lost.


----------



## mudd (15/12/11)

That I can throw out anything that is potentially useful to make room for something that may be vaguely usable for home brewing.


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## Rowy (15/12/11)

mudd said:


> That I can throw out anything that is potentially useful to make room for something that may be vaguely usable for home brewing.



+1 not a truer word was ever spoken!


----------



## tallie (16/12/11)

Spork said:


> that sometimes you should make 2 trips instead of just one



Did anyone else cry a little inside when they realised he dropped the equivalent of more than a full corny keg of beer in that video?  

Cheers,
tallie


----------



## Jazzafish (16/12/11)

tallie said:


> Did anyone else cry a little inside when they realised he dropped the equivalent of more than a full corny keg of beer in that video?
> 
> Cheers,
> tallie



If in Sydney, that would have cost ~$20 a glass


----------



## ledgenko (16/12/11)

I have made some Good beers .... mainly odd ones (read drinkable but not quite how I expected) ... 

Craft Beers = new and interesting convrsations with many new and interesting people ... and offers you can not say no too ( 2 x 50l kegs of LC Pale Ale (NO ... NO JOKE) :beerbang: 

I cant imagine life without beer !!! 


even the Commander of Sector West is now a convert .... which is great because it means more beer tickets to buy more grain with !!


Life is GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD


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## AndyO (17/12/11)

I have learned (45 minutes ago) that gently whittling/tapering your beer lines to get them into the john guest fitting is an error.

A messy, messy error.

I've also learned to attempt that kind of thing while my wife is not around..

Thanks,
AndyO!


----------



## edschache (17/12/11)

tallie said:


> Did anyone else cry a little inside when they realised he dropped the equivalent of more than a full corny keg of beer in that video?
> 
> Cheers,
> tallie



I told myself it was XXXX Gold before he picked them up just to be on the safe side.


----------

