# 31 Ways To Open A Beer Without A Bottle Opener



## Mikedub (16/1/12)

http://www.urlesque.com/2010/09/20/open-be...-bottle-opener/


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## Mattzilla (16/1/12)

i used a wire fence on sat night!!


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## jonocarroll (16/1/12)

Can't stay, I'll just leave this here...


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## RobW (16/1/12)

They seem to have missed the one using the door of an EH Holden.


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## Amber Fluid (16/1/12)

Up until Xmas last year I used to always open bottles with my teeth. It was just convenient and have done this for 20+ years. However, I managed to actually chip my tooth last time so now don't bother. I now find an old bench/table/chair or anything solid and crack 'em that way.

There are litterally thousands of things that can open a bottle. Just need to get creative once you get the concept


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## DU99 (16/1/12)

where's the screwdriver


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## kelbygreen (16/1/12)

seen a guy do it with his teeth and needed to get stitches in his mouth. Mind you he was pretty pissed. Guy that worked for dad ate some of a beer bottle as a bet he was also pissed lol and said you will be amazed where the blood stream carries small bits of glass.


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## Hippy (16/1/12)

when driving you can't go past the seat belt. Simply undo your seatbelt and open beer. now you are breaking 2 laws at once! h34r:


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## winkle (16/1/12)

Two words - Tiger bars


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## mika (16/1/12)

No youtube access here at work, but you can open a beer with a piece of paper.


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## danbeer (16/1/12)

Tried opening a beer with the BBQ scraper, as they do with a sabre and champagne bottle...

Kind-of worked.. <_<


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## ledgenko (16/1/12)

Hippy said:


> when driving you can't go past the seat belt. Simply undo your seatbelt and open beer. now you are breaking 2 laws at once! h34r:




Awesome ..  ...


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## ledgenko (16/1/12)

Hippy said:


> when driving you can't go past the seat belt. Simply undo your seatbelt and open beer. now you are breaking 2 laws at once! h34r:




Awesome ..  ...


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## Liam_snorkel (16/1/12)




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## bowie in space (16/1/12)

mika said:


> No youtube access here at work, but you can open a beer with a piece of paper.



Yep you got it. Number one on the list :icon_cheers:


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## Lecterfan (16/1/12)

Righto - chainsaw it is. I'll probably stick with the 028, the 064 would get tiring at a party...












I know my girlfriend is going to wish I hadn't watched that clip, and quite possibly I'm going to regret that I have also...


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## manticle (16/1/12)

Amber Fluid said:


> Up until Xmas last year I used to always open bottles with my teeth. It was just convenient and have done this for 20+ years. However, I managed to actually chip my tooth last time so now don't bother.



I did exactly the same for years with no problems. It was actually a great party trick because every time I did it someone was guaranteed to say "DON'T! You'll crack your teeth"

Bottle after bottle opened in this way. Ladies all thought I was amazing (being handsome helps - I look just like my avatar) Blokes were jealous because of my toughness.

One day celebrating working on a successful (moderately) underground theatre play (that's what tough people do) I did the same thing I'd done for years. The gasps, the anguish from those present as I confidently opened up the bottle using my pearlies.

Had to look away while I found the little bits of tooth enamel and removed them from my mouth. The embarassment was only mitigated by the fact that no-one but me knew.

Now I use a teaspoon or somesuch. I can still feel the chip with my tongue.


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## bowie in space (16/1/12)

:lol: :lol:


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## ekul (16/1/12)

I usually open beers with my phone. My current phone has lasted so long because i now keg.

My group of mates were always amazed at what i used to use to open a beer, because i'll usually grab whaters closest. I've opened beers with a carrot, a cd case, vitamin bottles and the creme a la creme was using another full beer (my flatmate had cleaned the house so the closest thing was a beer.)


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## Nick JD (16/1/12)

I thought the napkin was the best.


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## Thefatdoghead (16/1/12)

A lighter will get it every time. It's all in the leverage!


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## freezkat (16/1/12)

Gav80 said:


> A lighter will get it every time. It's all in the leverage!



teeth... only if nothing else is around to pry with.

On my bucket list I want to pop a beer using an edge on a breathalizer machine


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## punkin (16/1/12)

My young fella saved me the other day. He opened mine with the built in opener in the bottom of his (i hesitate to say it) thong...the footwear type...

Not real hygenic, but ******* handy. B)


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## pk.sax (16/1/12)

the little maglites. easy peasy.


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## ledgenko (16/1/12)

freezkat said:


> teeth... only if nothing else is around to pry with.
> 
> On my bucket list I want to pop a beer using an edge on a breathalizer machine




Another classic Bucket list comment ... 

I would also suggest asking for lighter to light your special cigarette ... lol they like to watch !!!


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## Amber Fluid (17/1/12)

manticle said:


> I can still feel the chip with my tongue.



Yeah I can feel the chip with my tongue now too. I was also lucky I didn't do a lot of damage to the tooth but still a PITA. I put it down that I am getting older and more fragile now :unsure: 

I just recieved This Key as I always have my keys on me and it is just another key on the ring. Now I have something to use everywhere I go without the need to hunt a rock or similar.


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## proudscum (17/1/12)

RobW said:


> They seem to have missed the one using the door of an EH Holden.




or the seat belt buckle


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## pcmfisher (17/1/12)

I drink twist tops....... h34r:


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## manticle (17/1/12)

I drink the beer underneath.


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## Pennywise (17/1/12)

When I was in Fiji a few months back one of the blokes doing our fishing tour was opening them with my lighter. I gave it go and nearly broke my feckin thumb  . I've since managed to get the correct possitioning and quick force


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## Amber Fluid (17/1/12)

When I was working at a bar and wanted to impress.... I use to open a few then just sit the lids so they were just ontop (but wouldn't fall off) then open them with my eye sockets and make a fizz sound from my mouth. I used to get some amazing looks back then.


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## tavas (17/1/12)

manticle said:


> I did exactly the same for years with no problems. It was actually a great party trick because every time I did it someone was guaranteed to say "DON'T! You'll crack your teeth"
> 
> Bottle after bottle opened in this way. Ladies all thought I was amazing (being handsome helps - I look just like my avatar) Blokes were jealous because of my toughness.
> 
> ...



OT I did something similar stripping wire with my teeth. My dentist never lets me forget :angry:


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## jaypes (28/10/12)

I have a mate who uses another unopened bottle - he hooks the caps one underneath each other (one beer upright and the other upside down)

Fucked if I can do it, last time I ended up wearing one


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## Nick JD (28/10/12)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=playe...84MQx5a-k#t=35s


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## wbosher (28/10/12)

Nick JD said:


> http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=playe...84MQx5a-k#t=35s



I did this for years after seeing this movie, until one night at a party the top inch of the bottle broke off, flew across the room, and stuck into the wall, about two inches away from my mates head...Haven't done it since.


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## JDW81 (28/10/12)

Nick JD said:


> http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=playe...84MQx5a-k#t=35s



That is one classy dame.


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## wbosher (28/10/12)

JDW81 said:


> That is one classy dame.



We're all class down here in Nu Zilind 

You think she's classy, you should see the movie.


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## Eggs (28/10/12)

i have a cousin that uses his iphone 4. when he gets a 5 it will do the same.


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## Nick JD (28/10/12)

Eggs said:


> i have a cousin that uses his iphone 4. when he gets a 5 it will do the same.



Is there a bottle opener app?


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## Liam_snorkel (28/10/12)

Eggs said:


> i have a cousin that uses his iphone 4. when he gets a 5 it will do the same.


it works really well, until you do it when you're off your face and catch the edge of the screen and crack the feckign thing.


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## goomboogo (28/10/12)

Eggs said:


> i have a cousin that uses his iphone 4. when he gets a 5 it will do the same.


He'll have to get an adapter before the 5 will do that.


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## bum (28/10/12)

Worth it for the extra leverage over the 4.


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## Simon Gellie (28/10/12)

I went to a "SHOW" in Thailand and saw a young lady open a long neck with her FRONT BOTTOM.... that's gotta hurt


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## Kai (28/10/12)

I hope it was at least a twist top. Otherwise, she had teeth. 

Opening crown seal bottles is easy once you work out the leverage involved.

Even a wedding ring will suffice, best to stick with metals harder than steel though.


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## Simon Gellie (28/10/12)

I didn't get close enough to check if it had teeth.
She used that thing for all sorts of interesting things.
A few minutes later she used it to fire blow darts and pop balloons


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## manticle (29/10/12)

That's nothing. My cock is often used in anti tank and anti aircraft combat by the Australian Defence Force. The SOGs also use it in anti terror simulations

As sexy to imagine as a young lady deflating balloons with her vag, I'm sure but watch out.


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## krausenhaus (29/10/12)

manticle said:


> That's nothing. My cock is often used in anti tank and anti aircraft combat by the Australian Defence Force. The SOGs also use it in anti terror simulations



Must be a chore getting all the camo paint on and off again all the time, hope the rental price is fair.


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## mikec (29/10/12)

One of the guys in my office used to open them with his teeth.I had visions of compo claims and had to order him to stop.


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## bum (29/10/12)

manticle said:


> That's nothing. My cock is often used in anti tank and anti aircraft combat by the Australian Defence Force. The SOGs also use it in anti terror simulations


The notion of unmanned military devices is really taking off, hey?


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## mosto (29/10/12)

Eggs said:


> i have a cousin that uses his iphone 4. when he gets a 5 it will do the same.



I've got a case for my iPhone that has a bottle opener built in and slides out the bottom. Very handy.


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## komodo (29/10/12)

SimonG said:


> I didn't get close enough to check if it had teeth.
> She used that thing for all sorts of interesting things.
> A few minutes later she used it to fire blow darts and pop balloons




I kid you not one of my mates nearly lost an eye on his honeymoon from a stray dart at one of these shows


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## glaab (29/10/12)

I use a bottle opener but I'm a boring bastard.
I have a video of some sheila opening a stubbie 
with her twat but I can't upload it. What a woman !
Proberly was a girl scout in her youth.

edit; should read all replies 1st;

is this off- topic?

Little Johnny's mom told him when he started at school never to touch any girls between the legs because they got teeth down there, and he'd get bitten. Years later after the prom when Johnnies girlfriend was getting a bit horny and putting the hard word on him for some action, Johnny said to hell with that l aint putting my dick in there it's got teeth and l'll get bit!
She insisted there was no teeth and it was safe. She even leaned back and pulled her skirt up a bit so he could have a good look. When Johnny stood up she said, well theres no teeth is there?, and Johnnie said, i'm not surprised with the state of those gums!&quot;


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## Malted (29/10/12)

glaab said:


> Little Johnny's mom told him when he started at school never to touch any girls between the legs because they got teeth down there, and he'd get bitten. Years later after the prom when Johnnies girlfriend was getting a bit horny and putting the hard word on him for some action, Johnny said to hell with that l aint putting my dick in there it's got teeth and l'll get bit!
> She insisted there was no teeth and it was safe. She even leaned back and pulled her skirt up a bit so he could have a good look. When Johnny stood up she said, well theres no teeth is there?, and Johnnie said, i'm not surprised with the state of those gums!&quot;



So she said go on then give it a poke with something and you see it has no teeth. So Johnny grabs a broom and goves her twat a prod. Right then she lets out a big fart and Johnny screams, 'Fark that, I am not putting my dick in there! If it growls at a piece of wood, imagine what it'd do to a piece of meat!'


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