# You Know You're A Dedicated Homebrewer When...



## Lecterfan (8/5/11)

You know you're a dedicated homebrewer when...


1. ...the first thing you do in the morning is "double drop" the 1968 ESB you put down yesterday arvo - even before getting dressed properly and/or doing your early morning dump.

2. ...the first drink you have (after a quick sip of water to cleanse the palate) is the case swap beer you have lagering in the fridge to convince yourself there are no funny flavours (there aren't).

3. ...there are dishes from two nights ago in the lounge room next to the PC but the mash tun, kettle etc that was used yesterday are now spotless.

4.

5. ...

etc


----------



## WarmBeer (8/5/11)

Lecterfan said:


> You know you're a dedicated homebrewer when...
> 
> 
> 1. ...the first thing you do in the morning is "double drop" the 1968 ESB you put down yesterday arvo - even before getting dressed properly and/or doing your early morning dump.
> ...


4. You've been on the forum's for almost 12 months, and still haven't worked out how the Search function works: You know you're a homebrewer if...

Not griefing, Lec, just taking the piss


----------



## jasonharley (8/5/11)

WarmBeer said:


> 4. You've been on the forum's for almost 12 months, and still haven't worked out how the Search function works: You know you're a homebrewer if...
> 
> Not griefing, Lec, just taking the piss




5. When someone offers you a can or bottle of standard package beer and you politely refuse to drink it..... then have to explain carefully to your friends why unpasteurised beer tastes better.....


----------



## bignath (8/5/11)

6. Your 5 and 3 1/2 year olds get a 20 metre headstart on you, and you still beat them to the door to see what "beery stuff" the postie has brought you this time...


----------



## Mayor of Mildura (8/5/11)

7. When you brew outside in single figure temperatures in the middle of the night waiting for the gummy rye porter to drain slowly from the bag... and you have a smile on your face.


----------



## Lecterfan (8/5/11)

WarmBeer said:


> 4. You've been on the forum's for almost 12 months, and still haven't worked out how the Search function works: You know you're a homebrewer if...
> 
> Not griefing, Lec, just taking the piss




:lol: 

Fair cop.


----------



## Mayor of Mildura (8/5/11)

Lecterfan said:


> 1. ...the first thing you do in the morning is "double drop" the 1968 ESB you put down yesterday arvo - even before getting dressed properly and/or doing your early morning dump.


thats so funny. i did exactly that this morning with my landlord and 1469. i must be dedicated.


----------



## stephenkentucky (8/5/11)

You fart after a big night drinking Hefeweizen...and still appreciate that faint yeasty aroma.


----------



## Doubleplugga (8/5/11)

8. You rise at 5 am on a chilly saturday morning just so you can put down an AG brew because you promised the missus you would keep the afternoon free so you can go with her to a BBQ at her friends place, with people you have never met


----------



## jyo (8/5/11)

9. You're on AHB on Mother's Day morning sneaking a look at the latest threads section and drooling over the tasty looking treats in the 'What's in the glass' section in between making breakfast in bed for your missus.


----------



## humulus (8/5/11)

10. You send your Mrs and young bloke out shopping with the credit card,so you can sit here and read this forum!!!and you look at the clock and realise your 20min late for work!!!!!!  
humulus


----------



## ekul (8/5/11)

11. you've seen this same thread pop up at least four times


----------



## marksfish (8/5/11)

ekul said:


> 11. you've seen this same thread pop up at least four times




11a. and the same people throwing the same points of view in all of them


----------



## InCider (8/5/11)

12. Driving past hard rubbish on the side of the road causes you to drive erratically because you're looking for stainless steel shiny things....


----------



## Bribie G (8/5/11)

You put the bags through the washing machine _and _put fabric softener in the rinse cycle.


----------



## proudscum (8/5/11)

14.you have the same stack off 20 brewing related books sitting next to your bed which you keep re-reading looking for that insight to the next beer you are going to brew sometime in the future.

15. being on here now when i should be googling a recipe for the 1/2 finished Robuchon tart that is required in the next couple of hours to feed 17 ppl.


----------



## Yob (8/5/11)

16. when you can get SWMBO cleaning the equipment for you h34r:


----------



## peaky (8/5/11)

17. You pull a sickie from work to finish some TAFE assignments that are due but then decide to brew a batch instead.... :beerbang:


----------



## yardy (8/5/11)

your work bag that you use to carry your lunch in will fit 6 metres of coiled copper in it.


----------



## MitchyP (8/5/11)

When you feel no shame in joining the bums and tight-arses on council hard refuse day, trawling the side walk for another discarded fermenting fridge.


----------



## [email protected] (8/5/11)

when you sit on the computer and stare at InCider's dp....... then find yardy's is just as good......... 


when your sittinjg there drinking the cider youve put down the day before...... because it tatses good...... just getting to know it.......


----------



## barabool (8/5/11)

You just keep going, brew after brew.
Its just like golf - the one good hole means that you will put up with 8 bad holes and you will spend an unexplainable amount of money on new clubs (gear) when the old ones were fine.


----------



## [email protected] (8/5/11)

When you go to a bottle shop and the first thing you do when looking at an interesting beer is to check the bottom for yeast sludge.


----------



## bignath (8/5/11)

Paxxy said:


> When you go to a bottle shop and the *FIRST* thing you do when looking at an interesting beer is to check the bottom for yeast sludge.



Jesus, and here i was thinking i was the only one that did that.

We must look really weird on the CCTV camera's...


----------



## crozdog (8/5/11)

Your brewery (shed) has a bigger / better hot water heater than the house does ;-)

You look at plastic drums for their potential as mash tuns, grain storage or fermenters.

You have 3 fridges but only one is for food.


----------



## matho (8/5/11)

InCider said:


> 12. Driving past hard rubbish on the side of the road causes you to drive erratically because you're looking for stainless steel shiny things....



had to laugh at this one its exactly what i do :lol: 

cheers matho


----------



## [email protected] (8/5/11)

Big Nath said:


> Jesus, and here i was thinking i was the only one that did that.
> 
> We must look really weird on the CCTV camera's...




Yeah its always akward trying to get a straight line between your head, the bottle and a light source without tipping the bottle. Even weirder when you try to use your mobile phone as a light.


----------



## bradsbrew (8/5/11)

When you go out to dinner with freinds and /or family and whinge about how much you just paid for this pint of crap. "The $9 I just paid for this pint would have almost paid for my grain bill on a 20L batch and the next pint I buy would have paid for the hops and the rest. If I was to buy 7 of these pints I could have bought all the ingredients and a keg to put it in!" 

Yes darling I will shut up now. But FFS....................


----------



## _HOME_BREW_WALLACE_ (8/5/11)

you seriously have to think about either a naughty with the missus, or the ESB you have been planning all week


----------



## [email protected] (8/5/11)

GOLD! wallace! i agree!

your getting all your mates into brewing because they find out they will save about $1.80 per bottle! (coronas cost $54 per 24, so about $2.24 per bottle here in bunbury, versus .68c for a bottle homemade)


----------



## Camo1234 (8/5/11)

When you no longer look forward to a beer at the footy because you dread the watery crap you will have to drink!


----------



## Lecterfan (8/5/11)

proudscum said:


> 14.you have the same stack off 20 brewing related books sitting next to your bed which you keep re-reading looking for that insight to the next beer you are going to brew sometime in the future.






yardy said:


> your work bag that you use to carry your lunch in will fit 6 metres of coiled copper in it.






beerbelly84 said:


> when you sit on the computer and stare at InCider's dp....... then find yardy's is just as good.........




:lol: 
Awesome.

All replies made me giggle...

I would suggest that Yardy's is better...on this forum and the other...

Apologies to the jaded AHB members who are sick of reading this type of thread...well "internet" apologies anyway...


----------



## amiddler (8/5/11)

crozdog said:


> You have 3 fridges but only one is for food.






_WALLACE_ said:


> you seriously have to think about either a naughty with the missus, or the ESB you have been planning all week






Camo1234 said:


> When you no longer look forward to a beer at the footy because you dread the watery crap you will have to drink!



Got to agree with these ones but no one has said, You own a march pump. Maybe to be Dedicated you should own 2.

Drew


----------



## Hatchy (9/5/11)

When a bloke from yr wife's work gets a new esky & she says to him "that's a cool mash tun".


----------



## Effect (9/5/11)

when the last thing you think about at night is the next beer you are going to make.


----------



## [email protected] (9/5/11)

You think you're an electrician because you wired your temperature controller and it works.

You have a very large collection of useless plastic cylenders that used to contain hydrometers.


----------



## humulus (9/5/11)

_WALLACE_ said:


> you seriously have to think about either a naughty with the missus, or the ESB you have been planning all week


+1 :icon_cheers:


----------



## Yob (9/5/11)

if your not brewing you are..

planning brewing...

when your not planning brewing you are researching brewing...

when you are not researching brewing you are thinking about brewing..

when you are not thinking about brewing you are dreaming about brewing...

when you are not dreaming about brewing you find yourself tuned in to the brewing network listening about brewing...

:unsure:


----------



## WhiteWolf (9/5/11)

Your wife (partner) has learnt enough by osmosis that she can help out newbies at the LHBS when you and the owner are busy dealing with your order.

You forget your Mum's birthday, but you can remember the progress of each brew day and the resulting beer for the last 2 years (or more).


----------



## Mikedub (9/5/11)

small yellow stains caused by drops of idophor that have run down the side of the bottle can be found throughout the house


----------



## HoppingMad (9/5/11)

You take brewing books to the beach to read instead of the latest James Patterson Thriller.

When you travel overseas you have to explain the suspicious looking parcel of hop pellets to Customs officials you're sneaking back.

 Hopper.


----------



## stux (9/5/11)

You start finding "many other household uses" for PBW, Starsan and Iodophor


----------



## tavas (10/5/11)

You give a carton to a mate for a favour...and ask for the empty bottles back.


----------



## tomdavis (10/5/11)

You know when you are a dedicated Homebrewer when you think nothing of standing in the queue with all the grannies in Spotlight with a bargain roll of remnant net curtain under your arm, cos you like the idea of making your own hopsock.


----------



## Bribie G (10/5/11)

Whenever you visit the supermarket you assess every item for its possible use as an adjunct.

On the train you switch off the MP3 player because it's interrupting your mental planning for the forthcoming comps season and you've just lost track of a keg somewhere in the plan.


----------



## Camo1234 (10/5/11)

When everyone else at work is sneaking a look at facebook but you're sneaking a look at AHB or CB website!


----------



## mwd (10/5/11)

When there are more hops than food in the fridge.


----------



## mccuaigm (10/5/11)

You have a strange attraction to the cleaning aisle at the supermarket


----------



## yum beer (10/5/11)

when you scratch a lottery ticket you get for your birthday and hope for some money to buy more brew gear....



$50..sweet,,good on the out-laws....happy birthday to me.


----------



## mickpc (10/5/11)

When you brew to 19L so that it fits nicely into kegs without having to bottle.

When you check AHB for a "break" even though you have been reading all day!

When you search ebay for "home brewing" only to be dissapointed you cant find anything you need.


----------



## stux (10/5/11)

Michael C said:


> When you brew to 19L so that it fits nicely into kegs without having to bottle.
> 
> When you check AHB for a "break" even though you have been reading all day!
> 
> When you search ebay for "home brewing" only to be dissapointed you cant find anything you need.



+1x3


----------



## RobH (10/5/11)

When you run out of dishwasher detergent one night, but can easily make do for a couple of loads with the Sodium metasilicate, Sodium percarbonate, and Bi-carb Soda that you readily have on hand.


----------



## adryargument (10/5/11)

When you give your old folks a fuel card and send them on a 1000km holiday to pickup some hop plants :icon_cheers: 

They are growing really nicely!


----------



## Fodder (10/5/11)

When you trim the cast on your broken hand against Dr's orders, so you can unscrew the PET lid off your latest batch.


----------



## Bribie G (10/5/11)

This is true:

Sunday, at the Chinese Supermarket in Fortitude Valley BribieG fronts up at the till with four of these:





At the till, Chinese milf ( the giggly friendly variety)

Oh, you like sweet things?

Preferred response: "Yeah, I love sweet things, and know how to give sweet things...........Hey, I've seen you a lot here. love your service, my name's ......"
BribieG response: " haha, actually I brew beer and I find that this product............."

:unsure: :unsure:


----------



## humulus (10/5/11)

BribieG said:


> This is true:
> 
> Sunday, at the Chinese Supermarket in Fortitude Valley BribieG fronts up at the till with four of these:
> 
> ...


HA HA HA LUV IT!!!!!


----------



## keifer33 (10/5/11)

When the missus hands you a jar and says "can you use your super brew cleaning gear to clean this cause dishwashing liquid won't work "


----------



## Yob (12/5/11)

when you go out to the theatre to see a freinds show and find that the best beer they have there is CPA in tallies... and you leave at the end of the night with an arm load of longnecks :lol:


----------



## jyo (12/5/11)

_WALLACE_ said:


> you seriously have to think about either a naughty with the missus, or the ESB you have been planning all week



Wallace, this is just terrible planning. There is plenty of time for a naughty in between the 1 minute and flameout additions.


----------



## chadjaja (12/5/11)

When its 5 degrees in the garage and there you stand brewing on the cold concrete floor in two jumpers, a jacket and beanie adjusting your strike water for the temp loss. ....


----------



## WhiteWolf (12/5/11)

keifer33 said:


> When the missus hands you a jar and says "can you use your super brew cleaning gear to clean this cause dishwashing liquid won't work "



+1 :lol:


----------



## Hatchy (12/5/11)

When over half of the emails you get are reply notifications from AHB.


----------



## Nevalicious (12/5/11)

Hatchy said:


> When over half of the emails you get are reply notifications from AHB.



So true... Hopefully this adds to your tally mate!


----------



## newguy (12/5/11)

chadjaja said:


> When its 5 degrees in the garage and there you stand brewing on the cold concrete floor in two jumpers, a jacket and beanie adjusting your strike water for the temp loss. ....



Got ya beat.


----------



## Camo1234 (12/5/11)

When you're the one adding gladwrap to the shopping list regularly!


----------



## argon (12/5/11)

... flameout on a double batch was 2 hours ago and i'm now looking at beersmith tweaking the design on the next batch


----------



## mfeighan (12/5/11)

you spend ~$50 for express postage as you want that plate chiller to arrive before your next brew 
BTW Thx for the bottle opener too mashmaster


----------



## Fourstar (12/5/11)

When the number 1 item that sits in your kitchen dish rack is your hydrometer.


----------



## stux (12/5/11)

Fourstar said:


> When the number 1 item that sits in your kitchen dish rack is your hydrometer.



Mine actually *lives* on the window sill behind the kitchen sink


----------



## Acasta (12/5/11)

When you bring homebrew to a party, get wasted, but still find the time to rinse bottles and put them away.


----------



## bignath (17/5/11)

When you completely lose track of time, realise you've drank 8 pints out of your keg you're supposed to be conserving for THAT weekend, and you look at the "latest threads" list and can see that 1/3rd of them are yours....

Pretty much sums up my night...


----------



## Lecterfan (17/5/11)

Big Nath said:


> When you completely lose track of time, realise you've drank 8 pints out of your keg you're supposed to be conserving for THAT weekend, and you look at the "latest threads" list and can see that 1/3rd of them are yours....
> 
> Pretty much sums up my night...




:icon_chickcheers: :lol: :lol: :lol: 


My latest contribution is.....when you're trudging through coles at 7.30am on a Sunday morning, hungover and in your dodgy morning clothes tryng to find the f#cking polenta as 7kgs of cracked grain is sitting on the bench at home waiting for you.


----------



## bignath (19/5/11)

When you wake up first thing in the morning, go a take a piss, and whilst staring at the toilet bowl, are massively impressed by the "head" you've just "poured", and then you try and guess what color EBC/SRM your urine is currently at.

This may or may not have happened to me on one or more occasions...... h34r:


----------



## tomdavis (19/5/11)

Big Nath said:


> and then you try and guess what color EBC/SRM your urine is currently at.


 :blink: 


Pilsner = good
Chocolate Porter = bad


----------



## yardy (19/5/11)

when you scour the local tip shops like an insane baglady for anything brew related, pays off though, just scored an old 9 gallon tooheys keg that will look the shiz as a HEX for the HERMS, or fit a few taps to it and make a font, or...


----------



## Yob (19/5/11)

when you have just bought a house and 2 days before you get the keys, you load the car up for the first run... and it's all brew gear  

priorities


----------



## davo_03 (21/5/11)

When Belgian blondes, and Irish reds have become beers.


----------



## shadders (21/5/11)

Big Nath said:


> When you wake up first thing in the morning, go a take a piss, and whilst staring at the toilet bowl, are massively impressed by the "head" you've just "poured"



gold! :lol:


----------



## going down a hill (21/5/11)

shadders said:


> gold! :lol:


So is that the EBC of your piss?


----------



## bignath (23/5/11)

When you see stirring the milk in your morning coffee as another opportunity to practise your whirlpooling technique


----------



## bowie in space (4/5/12)

...you see the letters on a car number plate read IPA, and all you can think of is, well...you can guess


----------



## Gar (4/5/12)

... Your watching cooking shows and all you can think of is "stop splashing that stock around so much.. HSA!!" h34r:


----------



## Truman42 (4/5/12)

.................When youve been a member of a home brewing forum for 9 months and your post count is 1157 because you ask a lot of questions....


----------



## Camo1234 (4/5/12)

... When your grade 3 son announces to the other parents standing around at school that "My dad is obsessed with beer!... He makes his own and has it on tap!"..... Look around at disapproving faces of stuck up mums and a few smiling nods from the dads!


----------



## glenwal (4/5/12)

When your 3 year old is having a tea party as follows;

- Teddy, would you like some tea?
- Mummy, would you like some tea?
- Daddy, would you like a beer?


----------



## jyo (4/5/12)

When you're driving and watching the digital speedo thinking _52' protein rest, 63' Aussie Lager, 66' APA, 68' oatmeal stout 72' glycoprotein rest _...


----------



## Lord Raja Goomba I (4/5/12)

Camo1234 said:


> ... When your grade 3 son announces to the other parents standing around at school that "My dad is obsessed with beer!... He makes his own and has it on tap!"..... Look around at disapproving faces of stuck up mums and a few smiling nods from the dads!



I can imagine out your way, that would occur! Mind you, I reckon the same would happen in my daughter's school - all the bottle-of-wine-per-night Prado driving mums, clogging up Lutwyche Road with their oversized Taxi's for one kid would do the same.

Hypocrites.

I like the "IPA" number plate. Last car was 205KPH, though that was funny enough.


----------



## bowie in space (4/5/12)

bowie in space said:


> ...you see the letters on a car number plate read IPA, and all you can think of is, well...you can guess



Ironically, I saw this yesterday afternoon as I was driving to Craftbrewer to pick up my ingedients to make an IPA. 

"It's a sign!", I thought, "I'm on a mission from God!"

It's currently mashing...spooky.



...responding to your own post feels weird.


----------



## Camo1234 (4/5/12)

Lord Raja Goomba I said:


> I can imagine out your way, that would occur! Mind you, I reckon the same would happen in my daughter's school - all the bottle-of-wine-per-night Prado driving mums, clogging up Lutwyche Road with their oversized Taxi's for one kid would do the same.
> 
> Hypocrites.




Yes very true.... And I don't see why there is a need for mums to come to school dressed in their Sunday best or "Gym Clothes" with too much makeup on for 8 in the morning!

At least they'll get their payback one day when they work out that while they are sitting at home watching the cleaner do the housework or sitting at a coffee shop sipping Lattes that their husband has actually been on a "work trip" with his hot young "secretary"!


----------



## erniebeer (4/5/12)

Yep being proven through childrens eyes with the beer obsession. My 4 year old daughter said to me Tuesday night whilst bottling.

"Daddy why do you brew beer everyday"?

Daddy you love beer dont you??


----------



## Truman42 (4/5/12)

erniebeer said:


> Yep being proven through childrens eyes with the beer obsession. My 4 year old daughter said to me Tuesday night whilst bottling.
> 
> "Daddy why do you brew beer everyday"?
> 
> Daddy you love beer dont you??




..LOL..I cop it from SWMBO..."Your obsessed with beer, If only you cared about me as much as you care about beer......"

Yes dear...


----------



## brettprevans (4/5/12)

thread title "You Know You're A Dedicated Homebrewer When..., * stupid things I've done[/b**]"


Truman said:



.................When youve been a member of a home brewing forum for 9 months and your post count is 1157 because you ask a lot of questions.... 

Click to expand...

i think you've set yourself up here mate*


----------



## evildrakey (4/5/12)

> "Daddy why do you brew beer everyday"?
> 
> Daddy you love beer dont you??



With those small and nimble fingers to help put beer caps on... They make the perfect assistant...
Just dont tell DOCS...


----------



## bignath (4/5/12)

jyo said:


> When you're driving and watching the digital speedo thinking _52' protein rest, 63' Aussie Lager, 66' APA, 68' oatmeal stout 72' glycoprotein rest _...



:lol: :lol: 

Classic!


----------



## brad81 (4/5/12)

You've dropped $800 on kit and still haven't brewed a beer....

I promise to this weekend though


----------



## Diggs (4/5/12)

evildrakey said:


> With those small and nimble fingers to help put beer caps on... They make the perfect assistant...
> Just dont tell DOCS...


I thought you trained ferrets to do that?? :blink:


----------



## Midnight Brew (4/5/12)

:icon_cheers: Classic 



jyo said:


> When you're driving and watching the digital speedo thinking _52' protein rest, 63' Aussie Lager, 66' APA, 68' oatmeal stout 72' glycoprotein rest _...


----------



## Fish13 (4/5/12)

when mates ring you saying they have found some pots and taps on the hard waste...


----------



## hsb (4/5/12)

When you start to wish beer didn't have alcohol in it so you could drink (far) more of it and therefore make more of it and experiment with it more and have it on your cereal and just generally beer, all the time, everywhere.


:lol:


----------



## black_labb (4/5/12)

hsb said:


> When you start to wish beer didn't have alcohol in it so you could drink (far) more of it and therefore make more of it and experiment with it more and have it on your cereal and just generally beer, all the time, everywhere.
> 
> 
> :lol:




That's something I've thought about for a while, unfortunately low alcohol beers tend to be very hard to get some flavour. Maybe I'll try some hopped malt drink; a wort at 1015ish with alot of hops pasturised in the bottle so it keeps...

Alcohol has no effects when you are inebriated on some hallucinogens, though that's hardly going to help you get on with everyday life while drinking beer...


----------



## stux (4/5/12)

bowie in space said:


> Ironically, I saw this yesterday afternoon as I was driving to Craftbrewer to pick up my ingedients to make an IPA.
> 
> "It's a sign!", I thought, "I'm on a mission from God!"
> 
> ...



I saw one the other night, think it was "IPA 068". My thoughts were "6.8%... sounds about right"


----------



## kario (4/5/12)

Your 11yo daughter and 9yo son want to take a sip of your beer at dinner to see who can guess correctly what style of beer it is. 
And they both argue over who will be 'filling' and who will be 'assisting' on bottling day.


----------



## adz1179 (4/5/12)

.... you start planning what type of beer might best be enjoyed 6 months from now...


----------



## Fish13 (4/5/12)

adz1179 said:


> .... you start planning what type of beer might best be enjoyed 6 months from now...




bastard  thinking of the next beer right now.


----------



## seravitae (4/5/12)

cant post on forums now.. busy brewing.


----------



## The Village Idiot (4/5/12)

Truman said:


> ..LOL..I cop it from SWMBO..."Your obsessed with beer, If only you cared about me as much as you care about beer......"
> 
> Yes dear...




They are all sisters!!!!!! Same here.


----------



## HBHB (4/5/12)

....when your $40,000 boat becomes a holding vessel for tallies and empty kegs.

.....when your fishing tackle room in the shed is renamed "the brewroom" and $700 rods are displaced from their home to make room for 1 more fermentation fridge.

.......when you decide another freezer is needed to house hops.

.........when you go to the bar and it takes 5 minutes to decide which one of the 6 kegs you should start on.

...........when the Mrs actually understands.

:chug: :kooi: 
Martin


----------



## Ryan WABC (4/5/12)

Your garden is "mulched" entirely with grain.

Your washing machine runs a full cycle just for a single hop bag.

You crack the shits when you go to a free-piss function and it's Corona.

You have a near mental breakdown when you find out your missus used your brew spoon to stir spaghetti.

You nearly lose your dog to the RSPCA after the yelling you gave her from farting near the fermenter just when you were about to seal it up.


----------



## bruce86 (4/5/12)

You agree to attend a research marketing meeting for the $70 just so you can get more brewing stuff


----------



## kelbygreen (4/5/12)

sera said:


> cant post on forums now.. busy brewing.



crap the rapture is here! lol 


Your not dedicated you cant brew and type on AHB while looking up shiny things and recipes. Just keep a eye on boil overs


----------



## jakethesnake559 (4/5/12)

...when SWMBO starts explaining the origins of IPA to her workmates due to the amount of subliminal learning she receives from your constant beer-ramblings.


----------



## jakethesnake559 (4/5/12)

Truman said:


> .................When youve been a member of a home brewing forum for 9 months and your post count is 1157 because you ask a lot of questions....



Um, just doing the maths...that's around 4 posts/day.... :icon_cheers: !


----------



## Wolfman (4/5/12)

When ya take SWMBO to the LHBS! I tried to tell her it was a sacred site!


----------



## kelbygreen (4/5/12)

dont have to do math click on the profile and it will tell you  and thats 4.17


----------



## XavierZ (5/5/12)

Wolfman said:


> When ya take SWMBO to the LHBS! I tried to tell her it was a sacred site!




I took SWMBO to Absolute Homebrew a while ago, she had the shits and got huffy.
Up until she saw the AirStill stuff and proceeded to write a Christmas wishdemand-list.


----------



## fcmcg (5/5/12)

Truman said:


> .................When youve been a member of a home brewing forum for 9 months and your post count is 1157 because you ask a lot of questions....


Or you post a keg load of links..you know who you are


----------



## Dazza88 (5/5/12)

. . . you starsan your lips before you kiss your fermenter goodnight.


----------



## Truman42 (5/5/12)

DazDog said:


> . . . you starsan your lips before you kiss your fermenter goodnight.




LOL...When Ive got a brew in the ferementer my wife always says.."Aren't you going to go and check on the baby before you go to bed"


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (5/5/12)

when you make chicken stock. and you give it a protein rest, and crash chill it to remove the break


----------



## homebrewkid (5/5/12)

Truman said:


> LOL...When Ive got a brew in the ferementer my wife always says.."Aren't you going to go and check on the baby before you go to bed"




i always do this

my missus used to say to me shhh baby sleeping, at night when i used to brew in the kitchen 
that was almost 10 years ago now 


cheers: HBK


----------



## winkle (5/5/12)

The European vacation seems to consist of Brussels and tiny bits of France.
(its study really!)


----------



## Rowy (6/5/12)

You started having withdrawal symptoms when AHB went down today for a couple of hours.......................... <_<


----------



## Diggs (6/5/12)

Rowy said:


> You started having withdrawal symptoms when AHB went down today for a couple of hours.......................... <_<


I rebooted everything 4 times!


----------



## homebrewkid (6/5/12)

Rowy said:


> You started having withdrawal symptoms when AHB went down today for a couple of hours.......................... <_<



i tried everything to get in today...........


----------



## Camo1234 (6/5/12)

Rowy said:


> You started having withdrawal symptoms when AHB went down today for a couple of hours.......................... <_<




I tried it on my computer, both iPads, SWAMBO's iPhone and even rang my brother to get him to check to make sure it wasn't my modem!


Was very relieved that yesterday wasn't a brew day!


----------



## The Village Idiot (6/5/12)

Camo1234 said:


> I tried it on my computer, both iPads, SWAMBO's iPhone and even rang my brother to get him to check to make sure it wasn't my modem!
> 
> 
> Was very relieved that yesterday wasn't a brew day!




MMMM.... wasn't a nice feeling. SWMBO thought it was real funny. Just wait till Facebook crashes and she will get hers!!!!


----------



## Midnight Brew (6/5/12)

Im guilty too. I was having a fit.



Rowy said:


> You started having withdrawal symptoms when AHB went down today for a couple of hours.......................... <_<


----------



## tazman1967 (6/5/12)

You only take SWMBO out to places that have a decent beer list..


----------



## Rowy (6/5/12)

tazman1967 said:


> You only take SWMBO out to places that have a decent beer list..



That is soooooooooo me. I use the "Honey a bloke at work went there and the food is crap. Why don't we try this place............"


----------



## bignath (6/5/12)

Midnight Brew said:


> Im guilty too. I was having a fit.



Me too.

Yesterday was brewday and videoing it for you tube (have had a few people ask about my recent build).

I was bored out of my mind during the brewday down time in between processes. And there seems to be a lot of it when most of the brew is automated as opposed to my very manual 3V rig previously.

I ALWAYS have AHB open on my combrewter on brewday....

Checked it on every internet capable device in the house  

Had to settle for "other" websites.... :lol:


----------



## Truman42 (6/5/12)

Rowy said:


> That is soooooooooo me. I use the "Honey a bloke at work went there and the food is crap. Why don't we try this place............"




Ha Ha yeh me too...I took her away at Easter and we stayed at balgownie estate in Yarra Glen. I just happened to say..
"Oh look honey Hargreaves Hill brewery is in town and Ive heard they do a nice lunch..." 

And WW3 followed...

"I knew you only planned this trip so you could get to a brewery..its all about beer with you...."yada yada yada.

Anyway when she got over it we went their for lunch and she enjoyed it..They just have to make a big issue first though..


----------



## yum beer (6/5/12)

When every trip to the supermarket includes a lap of the bottlo...just in case something new has come in....



yesterday, Estrella Inedit.....birthday drinks last night, snaffled, Youngs Choclolate Stout, snaffle....

wife not nearly as pleased as I was.


----------



## pk.sax (6/5/12)

When you drop into kitchenware shops just for the heck of it!


----------



## NickB (6/5/12)

Yep, the site down was a bummer.

looked at this for confirmation...

Cheers


----------



## homebrewkid (6/5/12)

when your 5yo daughter collects "beer lids" [used bottle caps]

and can explain to her friends how she helps daddy make beer 

she gets to stir it and stir the sprinkle stuff [yeast] in

[her words]

cheers: HBK

edit: more info


----------



## kelbygreen (6/5/12)

when you brew beer, when you are meant to be at home with the daughter by yourself looking after her and put her out the back with the dogs while you are doing the important things and yell at her when she tries to tip the grain on the floor  but looking at the flame of the burner keeps her occupied so thats one advantage of brewing with gas  you can keep the kids entertained while you chase them away from the hot bits lol


----------



## hirns (6/5/12)

kelbygreen said:


> when you brew beer, when you are meant to be at home with the daughter by yourself looking after her and put her out the back with the dogs while you are doing the important things and yell at her when she tries to tip the grain on the floor  but looking at the flame of the burner keeps her occupied so thats one advantage of brewing with gas  you can keep the kids entertained while you chase them away from the hot bits lol



*Yeah, but guys I have identical twin boys so I save twice as much!  
*

Hirns


----------



## chrisherberte (6/5/12)

...you press against your bladder to get a few extra percent efficiency pre-flush


----------



## bignath (6/5/12)

plonklab said:


> ...you press against your bladder to get a few extra percent efficiency pre-flush



:lol: :lol: 

...and then experiment with different angles of your wee "wort" return on the porcelain, trying to perfect your whirlpool technique.


----------



## chrisherberte (6/5/12)

I just had an awful vision of whirlpooling a turd, thanks.


----------



## pk.sax (6/5/12)

And you felt compelled to share it?!


----------



## chrisherberte (6/5/12)

umm, yep.


----------



## glenwal (7/5/12)

plonklab said:


> ...you press against your bladder to get a few extra percent efficiency pre-flush





Big Nath said:


> :lol: :lol:
> 
> ...and then experiment with different angles of your wee "wort" return on the porcelain, trying to perfect your whirlpool technique.


And your main reason for avoiding splashing is because of HSA.


----------



## sim (8/5/12)

NickB said:


> Yep, the site down was a bummer.
> 
> looked at this for confirmation...
> 
> Cheers




heh, i actually looked for something like that h34r: didnt know it existed!


----------



## manticle (8/5/12)

...........when your lady needs some 'black sludge' for an animation she is working on so you spend two hours in the kitchen reducing a concoction you made from black malt, roast barley, sugar and stout dregs from the bottling bucket.


----------



## black_labb (8/5/12)

Food dye and laxatives are more fun...


----------



## manticle (8/5/12)

So she could make the puppet shit itself?


----------



## black_labb (8/5/12)

Food dye to make brown sludge black, and if the puppet needs to then I hope it's not a hand puppet

edit: feel free to ignore me...


----------



## manticle (8/5/12)

It's not a scat animation you know. Kid friendly and all that.

Hey kids! Did you know that Teddy here has three of his own......................what's that Ted? You need to ................OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!! NNOOOOO!!

Why is it so dark? Is that Black patent malt? Roast Barley??!! I'll never drink porter again.


----------



## mikec (8/5/12)

When... You hold your engagement party at Harts.


----------



## Camo1234 (8/5/12)

mikec said:


> When... You hold your engagement party at Harts.




I had mine at Archive


----------



## NickB (9/5/12)

I had my wedding reception at Cascade Brewery Function Centre.


----------



## freezkat (9/5/12)

plonklab said:


> I just had an awful vision of whirlpooling a turd, thanks.


you go 3 1/2 weeks without a beer because you ran your kegs dry, because you couldn't afford ingredients to fill them up in time. You have some in bottles but you are saving them for HB contests.


----------



## Camo1234 (11/5/12)

When you get home cranky from a shit week at work and SWMBO comes in and says that she's poured you a beer and that you should spend some time on the brew forum while she cooks dinner  


ps.... didn't have the heart to tell her that the beer could have done with more head h34r:


----------



## bradsbrew (11/5/12)

Camo1234 said:


> When you get home cranky from a shit week at work and SWMBO comes in and says that she's poured you a beer and that you should spend some time on the brew forum while she cooks dinner
> 
> 
> ps.... didn't have the heart to tell her that the beer could have done with more head h34r:



Now thats a dedicated brewer that suggests to the wife that the _beer_ needs more head.


----------



## winkle (11/5/12)

The European vacation is now basically - arrive Dsseldorf (drink Alt), Beglium (some possible sightseeing here while travelling to Breweries/bars) and bits of France around Lille (drink BdG) - should be tops :icon_cheers: , SWMBO is not so sure.


----------



## Camo1234 (11/5/12)

bradsbrew said:


> Now thats a dedicated brewer that suggests to the wife that the _beer_ needs more head.




Yes, its been that shit of a week that beer is the saviour.... the other may follow though


----------



## punkin (12/5/12)

You know you're a homebrewer when....


Your shit is slightly green from the hops


----------



## DarkFaerytale (15/5/12)

winkle said:


> The European vacation is now basically - arrive Dsseldorf (drink Alt), Beglium (some possible sightseeing here while travelling to Breweries/bars) and bits of France around Lille (drink BdG) - should be tops :icon_cheers: , SWMBO is not so sure.



this sounds much like the trip i have planned with the missus but we are also going to england/scottland. 

the trade off was that we have to go to egypt as well.

.... any good beers in egypt??


----------



## Midnight Brew (15/5/12)

When you throw your hop debris in the kitchen bin after French Pressing so that instead of smelling rubbish you smell the beautiful aromas of ultra late hopping.


----------



## bignath (15/5/12)

Midnight Brew said:


> When you throw your hop debris in the kitchen bin after French Pressing so that instead of smelling rubbish you smell the beautiful aromas of ultra late hopping.



Yeah, 'cause my missus loves that one..... h34r: 

I've been guilty of that trick many times, i think it's a divine smell. She's not exactly in agreeance with me though.


----------



## sponge (15/5/12)

When you use your annual leave for brewing related necessities.


Sponge


----------



## hirns (16/5/12)

When you serve the last few litres to a glass from a bucket (yellow), rather that buying megaswill, after the keg diptube becomes repeatedly blocked from hops (note to self: use teaball). Do I need to drink directly from my brewing bucket to be deemed dedicated? :icon_cheers:


----------



## stux (21/5/12)

When SWMBO calls you in and points to your flask on the stirplate.... with the krausen dripping down onto the carpetted floor... with little puffy yeast trails all over the place

and all you think about is if you'll still have enough yeast for a good innoculation when it all settles down?


----------



## Benchish (21/5/12)

DarkFaerytale said:


> .... any good beers in egypt??



Not as i remember. Egypt is pretty much dry due to a high Muslim population. 

Also no bacon, although the beef bacon tastes similar to jerky. They also bleed most of their meat pretty dry so leave the steak alone of any is on offer.

To stay on topic:

You know your dedicated when you keep a little book of brews/ingredients to try later.


----------



## DU99 (21/5/12)

when you camp out for next year's Good Beer Week tickets


----------



## leahy268 (21/5/12)

When your 18 months old son's first words were: (In order)..

Bubba, DaDa(Used for dummy), Mumma,apple, beer..

And he recognises beer in the glass and in the bottle for what it is..


----------



## bignath (21/5/12)

leahy268 said:


> When your 18 months old son's first words were: (In order)..
> 
> Bubba, DaDa(Used for dummy), Mumma,apple, beer..
> 
> And he recognises beer in the glass and in the bottle for what it is..



That's not bad actually.

My son, now 6yo. once told a policeman friend of mine who lives three doors up, to "come and look at my dad's hops collection".

Now this policeman had never seen hops before, let alone the several kilo's of NZ flowers i had in my freezer before...
should have seen his eyes light up when he first saw them.....had some explaining and backpedalling to do that's for sure.

And yes, he does know the two plants are somewhat related.


----------



## black_labb (22/5/12)

Midnight Brew said:


> When you throw your hop debris in the kitchen bin after French Pressing so that instead of smelling rubbish you smell the beautiful aromas of ultra late hopping.



Put it in the freezer and use it for bittering (though it tends to just sit there while you forget about it)


----------



## petesbrew (22/5/12)

Cleaning up the house getting ready for family to come over, and 3yo son is putting stuff in the fridge of the toy kitchen saying "Daddy I'm putting the beer in the fridge".


----------



## stux (22/5/12)

leahy268 said:


> When your 18 months old son's first words were: (In order)..
> 
> Bubba, DaDa(Used for dummy), Mumma,apple, beer..
> 
> And he recognises beer in the glass and in the bottle for what it is..




When you're watching landline and a hops segment comes on and your 2 yr old daughter says "Hops! Like daddy hops!"

I think most adults would struggle to identify a hop bine as quickly as she did


----------



## humulus (22/5/12)

When your two and a half year old brings you out a half poured pint without any help(i didnt even ask for it),i was impressed but but SWAMBO sure as well WAS NOT!!!!!!!!!! 
He also spits the dummy if he cant put the hop additions in,aaaahhhh kids you gotta love em! :icon_cheers:


----------



## bkmad (22/5/12)

When your doing a piss and look down and see the brand of the toilet is caroma and then stand there thinking mmmmm caraaroma :icon_drool2:


----------



## bowie in space (22/5/12)

bkmad said:


> When your doing a piss and look down and see the brand of the toilet is caroma and then stand there thinking mmmmm caraaroma :icon_drool2:




...and you start guessing the colour of your piss in SRM/EBC units and trying to guess what styles would suit the colour.


----------



## [email protected] (22/5/12)

When you sleep with a box of (12) bottles for a week to ensure carbonation.


----------



## QldKev (22/5/12)

bkmad said:


> When your doing a piss and look down and see the brand of the toilet is caroma and then stand there thinking mmmmm caraaroma :icon_drool2:






bowie in space said:


> ...and you start guessing the colour of your piss in SRM/EBC units and trying to guess what styles would suit the colour.




... or taste it and think, thats enough IBUs but it could do with some late hop additions 





and so VB was invented


----------



## sponge (22/5/12)

There's late hops in VB???

Thought the IBU's and flavour would've been pretty spot on.

Probably needs more sugaz though...



Sponge


----------



## bignath (22/5/12)

humulus said:


> When your two and a half year old brings you out a half poured pint without any help(i didnt even ask for it),i was impressed but but SWAMBO sure as well WAS NOT!!!!!!!!!!
> He also spits the dummy if he cant put the hop additions in,aaaahhhh kids you gotta love em! :icon_cheers:



I'd be asking him what happened to the other half a pint?


----------



## black_labb (22/5/12)

QldKev said:


> ... or taste it and think, thats enough IBUs but it could do with some late hop additions
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Was designed by an angry wife with a yeast infection... "just a bit of sugar to sweeten it up, huh, somethings happening... I'll leave it for a couple weeks and then give it to him"


----------



## Midnight Brew (22/5/12)

bkmad said:


> When your doing a piss and look down and see the brand of the toilet is caroma and then stand there thinking mmmmm caraaroma :icon_drool2:




Spat coffee everwhere!!





Beer4U said:


> When you sleep with a box of (12) bottles for a week to ensure carbonation.



Guilty of that too. The ducted heater in my room is surrounded with milk crates


----------



## stux (22/5/12)

bkmad said:


> When your doing a piss and look down and see the brand of the toilet is caroma and then stand there thinking mmmmm caraaroma :icon_drool2:



"Should've been Corona"


----------



## brad81 (6/6/12)

Just bought a big **** off jar of "polski orgorski" because the jar will be awesome for yeast washing. My ale is going to finish fermenting in about 10 days, the cucumbers taste like salted arse, and I'm too tight to just throw them out!

Soldier on eh?


----------



## Helles (6/6/12)

When you camping in the bush in a tent and take 6 x 19lt and 1 x 50lt barrels Magic box with two taps for 3 weeks


P.S dont forget the sodastream adapter i did once


----------



## JDW81 (7/6/12)

When the budget is a bit tight so you vegetarian and stop buying coffees so you can afford to brew. Bloody dog still gets meat though <_<


----------



## manticle (7/6/12)

Eat the dog?


----------



## JDW81 (7/6/12)

manticle said:


> Eat the dog?



He wouldn't make much of a meal. It means I'd be without a brewing assistant as well.


----------



## manticle (7/6/12)

Can he still assist with only two or three legs?

Just trying to think laterally and 1 leg of proscuitto can go a long way.


----------



## Bongchitis (7/6/12)

bkmad said:


> When your doing a piss and look down and see the brand of the toilet is caroma and then stand there thinking mmmmm caraaroma :icon_drool2:



... embarassed to say +1


----------



## MastersBrewery (7/6/12)

when you walk in the shed and realise "shit we've now got 5 fidges/freezers, I need to post/update that thread"


----------



## JDW81 (7/6/12)

manticle said:


> Can he still assist with only two or three legs?
> 
> Just trying to think laterally and 1 leg of proscuitto can go a long way.



He'd still be able to assist, but he wouldn't be able to get me a beer from the esky.


----------



## Ducatiboy stu (7/6/12)

He might still be able to gaurd you and your brew from a 1 armed monkey with a prosthetic arm with bottle opening attachment, eye patch with no teeth that has been fighting albino panthers...
















Thats right.... that bloody monkey has hijacked this thread....


----------



## winkle (7/6/12)

Ducatiboy stu said:


> He might still be able to gaurd you and your brew from a 1 armed monkey with a prosthetic arm with bottle opening attachment, eye patch with no teeth that has been fighting albino panthers...
> 
> Thats right.... that bloody monkey has hijacked this thread....



Stu, stop eating Mescal worms with the barrel aged Imperial stouts dude (you're sounding weirded than Clive Palmer)


----------



## Fish13 (7/6/12)

When you take stuff into work to get repaired and the boys want more home brew.


----------



## Truman42 (7/6/12)

When you pick up something at work like a length of steel or your rummaging around in the workshop and one of the guys says "What homebrewing gadget are you making now?". You reply with "Who says its a home brewing gadget?"

....But you know and they know that it is..


----------



## Brewman_ (7/6/12)

When the missus puts $100 worth of meat in the freezer where you have your Tempmate set at appropriate serving temps of 3 Deg.C. It appears the meat does not keep as well as it otherwise would?


----------



## lczaban (7/6/12)

...there is a high corelation between your credit card statements and your CraftBrewer invoices...

:icon_cheers:


----------



## winkle (8/6/12)

GravityGuru said:


> ...there is a high corelation between your credit card statements and your CraftBrewer invoices...
> 
> :icon_cheers:



You know, that sounds very familiar.
(insert whinging wife emoticon)


----------



## Rowy (8/6/12)

winkle said:


> You know, that sounds very familiar.
> (insert whinging wife emoticon)




Unfortunately have to plus 1 that


----------



## Flewy (8/6/12)

You double back in the shopping centre to read a sign for Irish Moss cough syrup


----------



## Truman42 (8/6/12)

Rowy said:


> Unfortunately have to plus 1 that



+1 Same here...  

Even when I get given something or score something from work she says "Spending more money on brew stuff I see.."


----------



## Malted (8/6/12)

Ducatiboy stu said:


> Thats right.... that bloody monkey has hijacked this thread....


Yar!


----------



## WarmBeer (8/6/12)




----------



## .DJ. (8/6/12)

bkmad said:


> When your doing a piss and look down and see the brand of the toilet is caroma and then stand there thinking mmmmm caraaroma :icon_drool2:



This is ME!!!!


----------



## Lincoln2 (9/6/12)

When you take a sound recording of your action (and by action I mean airlock activity) and play it over the loudspeaker at work so that non-brewers can enjoy the sweet and sexy sounds of 2 fermenters blooping in harmony.


----------



## Mud Gecko (9/6/12)

When your making 2 minute noodles and think when adding the flavour sachet as "hop additions"... I even "dry hop" a bit into the bowl with a bit of butter and dump the noodles on top.... mmmmmmmm


----------



## drew9242 (9/6/12)

When you phone starts to auto correct spelling of hops and grain.


----------



## Blackapple (9/6/12)

..you are considering buying a $3500 stainless steel pot..........


----------



## doon (9/6/12)

A 3500 dollar stainless steel pot that makes consistently awesome beer!


----------



## Blackapple (9/6/12)

It'd want to....


----------



## booargy (9/6/12)

when you get rid of the wife so you can turn the kitchen into a brewery.


----------



## manticle (9/6/12)

Like this?


----------



## Pennywise (9/6/12)

Its the only way to truly get rid of any wife :lol:


----------



## Florian (9/6/12)

manticle said:


> Like this?




Was watching that when in the middle suddenly the youtube screen turned white with a circled exlamation mark in the middle. If I try watching again the screen just stays black.

Have they blocked it while I was watching it or what?


----------



## manticle (9/6/12)

Still works for me.

Do you have any kind of weird childproof filter thing on that can detect slightly nasty suggested imagery in Youtube clips? Less graphic than slightly disturbing (and if you've seen the film itself, you'll know what I mean).


----------



## Pennywise (9/6/12)

I had trouble viewing it, kept going all color blurry


----------



## Florian (9/6/12)

Tried in a different browser, worked alright now, thanks.


----------



## glenwal (25/7/12)

Bribie G said:


> South Coast is out, has to be North so I can get in and annoy MHB on a regular basis



when your new house purchase is based around the LHBS


----------



## Inge (25/7/12)

I know I got excited when my 3068 krausen jumped out of the fermenter, burst out of the fridge and leaked all over the floor.

Was less excited cleaning it up!


----------



## kymba (25/7/12)

you get angry when you go to run the kolsch you are drinking way too young through the filter - but where the shit has the o-ring gone? 20 minutes of furious turning upside down of shit reveals nothing because it was outside all along from when you excitedly unscrewed the filter housing to go give it a quick rinse

then after the filtering you don't know whether to be sad or angry that you didn't release the prv on the filter before you disconnected old hosey and the yeasty dregness spat out everywhere and all over shit that doesn't like getting beer on it - but you laugh coz it's funny, it stinks and it happened to you

then after that is all cleaned up you don't know whether to be more sad or more happy at the 2 litres of beer on the floor overflowing from the keg you just transferred the latest batch into - but as a plus your garage now smells like beer

fark what a night


----------



## luke_j (9/8/12)

You see a 3m cyclone fence topped with 6 rows of barbed wire and your first thought is: "That would make an awesome trellis."


----------



## Cocko (9/8/12)

Glen W said:


> when your new house purchase is based around the LHBS



Looked at new house, before making offer had to confirm:

Is there 3 phase power? - Otherwise kettle rendered useless.

Absolutely pending offer.


----------



## bradsbrew (9/8/12)

When your away working and you know your wife and two kids are at home with the flu. Being the good husband and dad you call up too see if they are ok, you listen patiently to the moaning and then just happen to throw in the question" so did a parcel from craftbrewer turn up this week?" Apparently I am obsessed prick................





with a new mini mill :icon_cheers:


----------



## rotten (9/8/12)

When you plan a whole day of travelling to the big smoke with itinerary for about 10 pickups of home brew related goods and parts, , with help from some complete strangers. :beerbang:


----------



## Spiesy (21/9/12)

you wake up early, and start kegging at 5am. 

Tasted half a schooner of my recent BIPA at around 5.30am this morning - lovely.


----------



## j.nisbet (22/11/12)

When you start seeing empty fermenters as wasted opportunities


----------



## stux (22/11/12)

When you go to a famous wine region... and only visit the breweries


----------



## keifer33 (22/11/12)

When you're in a food place near their freezer working out the temp difference on their temp controller while eating your lunch and how inefficient it is.


----------



## Super8 (22/11/12)

..you are in Hospital on your back ready to go in for Surgery and you start eyeing off the o2 bottles and regulators and consider what sockets would be required to re-purpose them for your new keezer project.


----------



## Kingbrownbrewing (22/11/12)

You are flicking through the radio stations and hear some hip-hoppers rapping about 'OG's' and you wonder when Snoop and Dre got into brewing.


----------



## mr_tyreman (22/11/12)

keifer33 said:


> When you're in a food place near their freezer working out the temp difference on their temp controller while eating your lunch and how inefficient it is.



That's awesome!!!!


----------



## Batz (22/11/12)

When you travel home for just one day off and filter a brew before heading off to work again.
Goes down so well.


----------



## hoppinmad (22/11/12)

When your freezer looks like this


----------



## jaypes (22/11/12)

You have a 'slush fund' tucked away from the missus for those 'need to have' brewing accessories


----------



## Lakey (22/11/12)

HoppinMad said:


> When your freezer looks like this
> 
> View attachment 58691


that freezer redefines awesomeness!!! You know your a dedicated homebrewer when you spend more time on ahb than with the missus!


----------



## chunckious (22/11/12)

HoppinMad said:


> When your freezer looks like this
> 
> View attachment 58691



Meh.....standard. B)


----------



## proudscum (22/11/12)

when you start brewing as a job not a living.


----------



## jaypes (23/11/12)

Your missus wants to throw away an old baby bath and you say I can use it for cleaning bottles in (you already do but you dont tell her that)


----------



## Dan Pratt (23/11/12)

finds you on the laptop watching another episode of Northern Brewer TV and says - "you need to get a Hobby!"


----------



## Truman42 (23/11/12)

jaypes said:


> You have a 'slush fund' tucked away from the missus for those 'need to have' brewing accessories



When she asks how much money you wasted on that new brewing accessory and your reply is.. "Honey, I swapped it with a guy who wanted (Insert product or service you can provide at work) so it didnt cost me anything."

Just about every expensive purchase in my brewery was paid for by swapping services I provide at work..  (As far as the missus knows)


----------



## glenwal (23/11/12)

Truman said:


> Just about every expensive purchase in my brewery was paid for by swapping services I provide at work..  (As far as the missus knows)



Just hope that she doesn't start "swapping services" for stuff she wants. Though you can send her my way if she does ever want something


----------



## Truman42 (23/11/12)

Five Eyes Brewing Company said:


> 5. When someone offers you a can or bottle of standard package beer and you politely refuse to drink it..... then have to explain carefully to your friends why unpasteurised beer tastes better.....



Yeh and when sales reps want a freebie for one of their good customers and say "I'll get him to drop off a couple of cartons of VB for your trouble" Umm NO THANKS.

I had a massive argument with a rep over this. Told him we wanted something else. He said "Im not asking him to drive all over the city to buy fancy craft beer." All we wanted was LCPA or JSPA which can be brought at Dans anyway. he refused to budge so we refused to give his customer the freebie. Bloody sales reps.


----------



## jaypes (23/11/12)

Glen W said:


> Just hope that she doesn't start "swapping services" for stuff she wants. Though you can send her my way if she does ever want something


Here you go, I need a brand new 200L braumeister


----------



## mr_tyreman (23/11/12)

proudscum said:


> when you start brewing as a job not a living.



I thought you enjoyed brewing?


----------



## Juzdu (23/11/12)

...when you buy yourself "nice to have" brewing equipment for the kids to put under the tree for you at xmas...

Can't wait to be surprised by my bottling tree and bottle rinser...


----------



## Truman42 (23/11/12)

Glen W said:


> Just hope that she doesn't start "swapping services" for stuff she wants. Though you can send her my way if she does ever want something




 The only one she swaps 'services' for is with me... But Jaypes offer is certainly a good one if your keen...


----------



## jaypes (10/12/12)

You Know You're A Dedicated Homebrewer When...

You see a number plate AGR-23L and instantly think All Grain 23 Liters


----------



## sponge (10/12/12)

jaypes said:


> You Know You're A Dedicated Homebrewer When...
> 
> You see a number plate AGR-23L and instantly think All Grain 23 Liters



Similar to my bosses number plate.

It contains BM's and AG's...


----------



## podon (28/12/12)

cats75 said:


> 8. You rise at 5 am on a chilly saturday morning just so you can put down an AG brew because you promised the missus you would keep the afternoon free so you can go with her to a BBQ at her friends place, with people you have never met



hahahahahahahah bingo.


----------



## DU99 (28/12/12)

When a commericial brewery offers to buy you out :beer:


----------



## geneabovill (29/12/12)

When you apply for a secret credit card and max it out at CB before you even sign the back of it.


----------



## citizensnips (29/12/12)

you brew biab and mash in without the bag h34r: ......yeah I did it


----------



## jaypes (14/1/13)

.....You see the in the shops mortein cockroach baits 'With Honey,Malt and Soy' and wonder what sort of malt they are using!

http://www.mortein.com.au/product_lure_kill_cockroach_baits.php


----------



## Judanero (14/1/13)

...people at work learn not to ask how your home brew is going because they know a ten minute monologue will follow.


----------



## Dars183 (14/1/13)

18, When you are meant to be teaching at TAFE and you give the students some 'self paced learning' to do so you can check those threads that are runnning hot


----------



## bradsbrew (14/1/13)

Dars183 said:


> 18, When you are meant to be teaching at TAFE and you give the students some 'self paced learning' to do so you can check those threads that are runnning hot


Or you look at the whiteboard and then realise that you have just spent the last hour explaining how a herms system works only to hear an apprentice say "now ask him about his kegs and that should get us through to lunch" :lol: .


----------



## geneabovill (14/1/13)

... when you spend your super important work phone calls half listening while redesigning your shed (on paper) to make your brewing more efficient.


----------



## mikec (15/1/13)

You take a short trip to Tassie, and only pack two shirts and a change of underwear, so that you can bring home a suitcase full of craft beer/cider.


----------



## jaypes (15/1/13)

Judanero said:


> ...people at work learn not to ask how your home brew is going because they know a ten minute monologue will follow.


You got yours down to 10 mins? Damn!


----------



## Bridges (16/1/13)

When any suggested holiday destination is followed by searching out all brewerys within striking distance of said destination, and making sure you can visit them all before you agree to go there.


----------



## Phillo (16/1/13)

When you put off having your first kid because you don't want to give up your brewery room. :kooi:


----------



## Truman42 (16/1/13)

Bridges said:


> When any suggested holiday destination is followed by searching out all brewerys within striking distance of said destination, and making sure you can visit them all before you agree to go there.


Yes but most importantly making sure you dont let the missus know about it before hand..My missus will crack it if I base a weekend away on a brewery visit. But if we just happen to see one shes all for going in and trying their beers. 

"Oh look honey they have a brewery here apparently that does a nice lunch. I didnt know that."


----------



## stux (17/1/13)

Phillo said:


> When you put off having your first kid because you don't want to give up your brewery room. :kooi:



When you duck home from the hospital shortly after your first born pops out so that you can keg your first keg of beer.

...

I got into kegging and built my first kegerator in the late stages of SWMBOs pregnancy . The beer was ready as the bub was ready! Which happened to be NYE


----------



## stux (17/1/13)

Truman said:


> Yes but most importantly making sure you dont let the missus know about it before hand..My missus will crack it if I base a weekend away on a brewery visit. But if we just happen to see one shes all for going in and trying their beers.
> 
> "Oh look honey they have a brewery here apparently that does a nice lunch. I didnt know that."


As long as I can find a cidery in the region I'm golden


----------



## Danwood (4/6/16)

This


----------



## BottloBill (4/6/16)

When you tell your coopers fiend neighbour to leave his longnecks rinsed and inverted in your bottle crate next to his recycling bin.


----------



## yum beer (4/6/16)

When you have more taps in the shed than the house.


----------



## madpierre06 (6/6/16)

When you see a 50L S/S pot and an esky in the car newxt to yours in the carpark and thoughts go straight to mash tun and kettle.


----------



## tugger (6/6/16)

When you have more taps in the shed than the local pub.


----------



## boybrewer (6/6/16)

When you replace your old tumble dryer and rip out the electric motor for a motorised grain mill .


----------



## lost at sea (7/6/16)

when your newbie mates are calling at 8pm on a monday night asking for advice on this "yeast rehydration thingo" they heard you say last time they were around for a lesson/brew/drink session


----------



## droid (7/6/16)

you look back over your mash-tun progression in 18mths and see something like this


----------



## SimoB (7/6/16)

when you go pro


----------



## MastersBrewery (7/6/16)

droid said:


> you look back over your mash-tun progression in 18mths and see something like this
> 
> 
> 
> DSC_0224.JPG


thats the big brewtech one is it droid?


----------



## droid (7/6/16)

Yessir


----------



## MastersBrewery (7/6/16)

You may have to do a write up for us after some use to give us the low down. Certainly looks the goods.


----------



## Denobrew (2/12/16)

When the wife is giving birth and I'm checking out the oxygen bottle and regulator contemplating how I could oxygenate my wort


----------



## Old Bloke (2/12/16)

Denobrew.. CLASSIC


----------



## pcqypcqy (2/12/16)

Old Bloke said:


> Denobrew.. CLASSIC


Definitely, Denobrew wins AHB for this week.


----------



## Denobrew (3/12/16)

I've got my eyes on these now


----------



## welly2 (3/12/16)

Denobrew said:


> When the wife is giving birth and I'm checking out the oxygen bottle and regulator contemplating how I could oxygenate my wort


What are you going to call him/her? Citra? Mosaic? Nelson Sauvignon?


----------



## Zorco (3/12/16)

Denobrew said:


> I've got my eyes on these now


Hospital, babies, towel heater, maternity ward.

Just a thing of beauty. Not brewing useful, unless the head brewer is feeling a bit delicate and a touch chilly when he's about to......HARDEN THE **** UP, YOU AINT GOING THROUGH CHILD BIRTH!!!

️‍️‍️‍️‍️‍️‍️‍️‍️‍[emoji474]‍[emoji468]

[emoji14]


----------



## mondestrunken (3/12/16)

Denobrew said:


> When the wife is giving birth and I'm checking out the oxygen bottle and regulator contemplating how I could oxygenate my wort


I'm not sure why you took your wort along???


----------



## Denobrew (3/12/16)

welly2 said:


> What are you going to call him/her? Citra? Mosaic? Nelson Sauvignon?


Named him Francis George Denman. I wanted Doug, lil Douggie Denman. But she got her way. Nelson got discarded early on.


----------



## Barge (3/12/16)

F.G. 

Nice one!


----------



## pcqypcqy (5/12/16)

Denobrew said:


> Named him Francis George Denman. I wanted Doug, lil Douggie Denman. But she got her way. Nelson got discarded early on.


My boy is Doug. He gets Dougas, Diggis, Dougal.... just about everything except Doug. 

I think "Experimental Hop HBC 291" is a fine name for a child as well.

http://www.duvel.com/en/news/brewers-select-hbc-291-their-new-duvel-tripel-hop


----------



## Dan2 (7/12/16)

...... When you quit your job driving a prawn trawler to start work at a new brewery :kooi:


----------



## DJ_L3ThAL (7/12/16)

https://www.facebook.com/plugins/video.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2FLADbible%2Fvideos%2F2996096130437557%2F&show_text=0&width=400" width="400" height="400" style="border:none;overflow:hidden" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" allowTransparency="true" allowFullScreen="true"

Sorry - failed at embedding.


----------



## Dan2 (26/12/16)

Dan2 said:


> ...... When you quit your job driving a prawn trawler to start work at a new brewery :kooi:


And then on your first day off for over a month you put down a brew.
In my defence - the big rig is about a week away from commissioning, and I haven't had time for the braumeister in nearly 2 months.
Damn it felt good to pitch that yeast!


----------



## Killer Brew (27/12/16)

When you select food for the dog based on it being in a twist top 30L food grade container


----------



## malt junkie (5/2/17)

.... You look at your stir plate(that's been chugging away for 6 weeks solid) and think that's where the bottle neck in production is, I need another(or 2) and possibly double up the flasks while I'm at it?


----------



## Grott (5/2/17)

When you use the vibrations of the washing machine spin mode to activate yeast on the lid. ( works fairly well, a reward for doing the washing)

Ps encircle the flask/jar with a damp towel to avoid it sliding off.


----------



## Mardoo (5/2/17)

When you see the address 1469 and your head whips around so fast you go out of your lane.


----------



## abyss (5/2/17)

When you are traveling through the outback and every time you spot a silo it makes you want a conical fermenter.


----------



## CJW (5/2/17)

Denobrew said:


> When the wife is giving birth and I'm checking out the oxygen bottle and regulator contemplating how I could oxygenate my wort


My Father In Law had a lung transplant and I am regretting not pilfering an odd O2 bottle, regulator and flow meter after the transplant. (All in the name of science)


----------



## Mardoo (7/2/17)

When every morning after pitching - and I mean EVERY morning - feels EXACTLY like Christmas morning did when you were a kid.


----------



## Lord Raja Goomba I (7/2/17)

You get obsessed when you start yeast breeding, and think "yeah, I have the bits necessary for another DIY stir plate, but just need another 3L erlenmeyer, because that stuffed smack pack swelled after 3 days, and now I have 2 yeasts on the go that I didn't expect and I don't know which one to sacrifice if push comes to shove".


----------



## malt junkie (7/2/17)

Your beer glasses have their own mini fridge.


----------



## Matplat (7/2/17)

Killer Brew said:


> When you select food for the dog based on it being in a twist top 30L food grade container
> 
> 
> 
> image.jpeg


What's it called, and where do you get it?


----------



## fw00r (7/2/17)

Matplat said:


> What's it called, and where do you get it?


A______NCE
Went with Advance 12kg...
Got this


----------



## Mr B (8/2/17)

fw00r said:


> A______NCE
> Went with Advance 12kg...
> Got this


Dont use the barrel for beer stuff (stay with me here).

When the dog eats it all, go to Coles or wherever and get a $15-$20 dollar bag or whatever. Fill up the fancy bin.

Then, you have $70-$75 to spend on beer stuff - EVERY TIME!

Darling, the dog looks hungry again.........

Edit: Guess I think like a homebrewer now.....


----------



## yum beer (8/2/17)

Mr B.....you appear as sneaky as me.......


----------



## Crusty (8/2/17)

You sell shit & then need to buy it again.


----------



## wide eyed and legless (9/2/17)

Mardoo said:


> When every morning after pitching - and I mean EVERY morning - feels EXACTLY like Christmas morning did when you were a kid.


It is weird that pitched yeast only works like the tooth fairy, at night, my cool room is in pitch darkness but no matter when I pitch my yeast either early or late in the day, it doesn't start to work until night falls. The only exception is if you play an Om So Hum Mantra which is what my yeast was subjected too when I was fermenting in the bedroom, then for some unknown reason it would start and work before nightfall.


----------



## Mardoo (9/2/17)

Curiouser and curiouser.


----------



## Mardoo (10/2/17)

...when you're in recovery after angiography and get some bad news, but all you can think about is scoring a sweet syringe to imitate hand-pumped beers.


----------



## Grott (10/2/17)

Trust all will be fixed up soon Mardoo.


----------



## Mardoo (10/2/17)

Thanks mate.

Actually, Midnight Brew suggested a pre-surgery brew day, and of course I said yes. He's dedicated to the cause!


----------



## yum beer (10/2/17)

Mardoo said:


> ...when you're in recovery after angiography and get some bad news, but all you can think about is scoring a sweet syringe to imitate hand-pumped beers.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


They give me nightmares them ******* things.......squeeze ya friggin hand off...they try.


----------



## yum beer (10/2/17)

Hope your not too bad mate, spent most of last year in and out of hospital with angio's.....there OK, its the enforced holiday afterwards that sucks.


----------



## Zorco (11/2/17)

You know that you're a dedicated brewer when you're having a Mardoo's pre surgery brew day to wish a good AHB bloke well.

Some fine hops will be needed from Yob. 

Set the date Midnight


----------



## Nullnvoid (11/2/17)

If you need anything Mardoo, just let me know, I'll do my best to help.


----------



## Moad (11/2/17)

Second that, all the best Mardoo i hope you are back on your feet in no time


----------



## Killer Brew (12/2/17)

Matplat said:


> What's it called, and where do you get it?


It is Advance dog biscuits that we picked up at a local pet and grain supplier. Available for various ages and size of dog. Found this link although we got it elsewhere and our dog is a medium sized adult not a pup.

https://www.petstock.com.au/products/122711000121/advance_large_breed_puppy_dry_dog_food_-_12kg_barrel

Edit: Petbarn have all types and are national I think
https://www.petbarn.com.au/brand/advance


----------



## Curly79 (12/2/17)

All the best Mardoo. Cheers mate


----------



## Mardoo (12/2/17)

Thanks guys. The support means a lot. Don't know yet exactly what is going to happen, as I have yet to be assessed by the surgical panel in the cardiac unit.

Back to being a dedicated homebrewer.

You know you're a dedicated homebrewer when $62 for hops becomes $50-ish in your mind.


----------



## malt junkie (12/2/17)

and you don't include the postage in your calculations, therefore it really is cheap!


----------



## Mardoo (12/5/17)

When you spend the week before going into hospital for a quintuple bypass setting up a lager ferment so - roundabout the time you've recovered - you'll have a stinking good beer to drink.

Hopefully!


----------



## Black n Tan (12/5/17)

Mardoo said:


> When you spend the week before going into hospital for a quintuple bypass setting up a lager ferment so - roundabout the time you've recovered - you'll have a stinking good beer to drink.
> 
> Hopefully!


Seriously? All the best Mardhu. I did do the same when I just before a spinal fusion. Not quite as serious though.


----------



## Zorco (12/5/17)

Dad had the Spinal fusion. Injury from the army carry packs.....first memories of him really. 

Mahdu, keep the music flowing mate. We need you back here to keep the quality standards up....

Plus, 

no sugar tonight without my Maltoo


----------



## Moad (12/5/17)

Mardoo said:


> When you spend the week before going into hospital for a quintuple bypass setting up a lager ferment so - roundabout the time you've recovered - you'll have a stinking good beer to drink.
> 
> Hopefully!


Wishing you a speedy recovery Mahdu, good luck mate

edit: why do you have to have such a different name!


----------



## Mardoo (12/5/17)

Black n Tan said:


> Seriously? All the best Mardhu. I did do the same when I just before a spinal fusion. Not quite as serious though.


Yeah, I've been sitting on this cube for awhile, having been on a run of top-cropped beers and DIPA's. I thought, "Sweet! Instant patience!"

Spinal fusion. Ugh!


----------

