Political Correctness.....

[Pollux]

Just a thought I had while at the shops, and figuring we have a large cross-section of ages here it would be a good spot for a discussion.

Right, back story of how I got this idea in my head. I was just at the local shops and was on my way back to the car, I only had three small bags of stuff and was just walking along carrying it in one hand. The shops have a rather steep ramp back up to the carpark which has two corners in it, this makes it a pain in the arse to push a fully loaded trolley as you lose all your momentum coming around the bends. I was walking along when I came across an older couple (lets say at a guess early seventies) walking up the ramp ahead of me, they had a fully loaded trolley which the husband was pushing by himself and while he wasn't struggling he certainly wasn't doing it easily either. I considered offering to either help/push it for him but then I stopped and had a thought.

"What if he takes me offer the wrong way and considers it me implying that he is old/weak and can now longer do things like this on his own"

Which brings me to my question, has political correctness pushed us to the point that people are no longer willing to selflessly help others for fear their actions may be misinterpreted??

I recently read an article that suggested that the reason alot of pregnant women are left standing on public transport while able bodied men sit is because a growing number of men are afraid that the woman may not be pregnant, but just a bit heavy and they don't want to potentially cause offence. I personally was brought up that I should never be seated while a lady is left standing, regardless of her age/weight/pregnancy status, others do (quite justifiably) have the opinion that they should not feel obliged to offer their seat to ALL women, just those who are pregnant or otherwise less than fully able bodied.

Opinions???

 

[Fatgodzilla]

I recently read an article that suggested that the reason alot of pregnant women are left standing on public transport while able bodied men sit is because a growing number of men are afraid that the woman may not be pregnant, but just a bit heavy and they don't want to potentially cause offence. I personally was brought up that I should never be seated while a lady is left standing, regardless of her age/weight/pregnancy status, others do (quite justifiably) have the opinion that they should not feel obliged to offer their seat to ALL women, just those who are pregnant or otherwise less than fully able bodied.

Opinions???

Don't catch buses.





But you are right. Though there is often a difference between the city and the country people in many respects also. As a rule, city people are far more likely not to help. And if someone offers you help, city people look for trouble.

 

[Eater]

If i am in a situation as described above, i would offer my assistance, but not assume it was required and jump in

Having done this all my life i have found people in general to be so very cautious of accepting help that it almost cancels out the offer, but are delighted when its real and is of help to them.

On the flip side

People assuming you will help/jump out of the seat/help them across the road, without at least asking first, really flick my switches.

 

[peas_and_corn]

Most reasons people don't offer help is because most people are jerks, not "political correctness"

 

[MarkBastard]

When I first got my P's about 10 years ago I was driving home and there was an old man rocking back and forth in the middle of the road. I got out of the car and rushed over to help him up and did so, and he just grumbled under his voice and didn't even say thanks. I think there's too much media about how crap young people are and not enough about how some old people are just stuck up wankers to be honest.

 

[Katherine]

When I first got my P's about 10 years ago I was driving home and there was an old man rocking back and forth in the middle of the road. I got out of the car and rushed over to help him up and did so, and he just grumbled under his voice and didn't even say thanks. I think there's too much media about how crap young people are and not enough about how some old people are just stuck up wankers to be honest.

gosh you sound like a guy at my work. You probably find that this old guy has demetia of some kind!

 

[warra48]

My father in law is 87 years old. Mother in law is 85 years old and has dementia.

F-I-L is an old fashioned bloke, unwilling to face the reality of him aging, and is up and down like a yo-yo all day looking after M-I-L. He has damn near crippled himself with excessive activity, but refuses to accept the logic they should be living in a place where they can get help, rather than their own house, and to downsize his activities appropriate for an 87 year old. Instead, he's about to see an orthopeadic surgeon for an opinion on fixing his back so he can continue to look after M-I-L.

He sacked his lawn mower guy, because he "wouldn't cut the grass as low as I told him". Now he does it himself. And he wonders why he needs 2 heat packs, a hot shower, loads of painkillers etc to get himself moving in the mornings. Mind you, moving is now limited to about half a foot length shuffle.
There's no way to overcome the ego and stubborn resistance to believing aging requires you to slow down somewhat, compared to when he was 27 years old. In his mind, he's the same bloke, and nothing's changed.

By all means offer, but don't be surprised if the old codgers take offence at your offer. However, if it's accepted, gracefully do them a favour, and you'll feel good about it yourself.

 

[marksfish]

gosh you sound like a guy at my work. You probably find that this old guy has demetia of some kind!

is this sexual stereotyping? :lol:

 

[Pollux]

Warra, that's the part that had me caught out. I am normally the person who will grab the item off the high shelf for the little old ladies, lift cases of beer for someone in a bottleshop etc etc. Hell, I even rang back home (about 1km) one day to go grab a tyre iron as some poor old bloke was stuck on the side of the road without one. I'm the sort of person who believes in karma and try to help others where possible.

And trust me, I've been at the other end of it too, last year in the week after my hernia op I had to wait for someone to walk past many times in Coles as I couldn't reach items on the lower shelves.....

 

[manticle]

Just a thought I had while at the shops, and figuring we have a large cross-section of ages here it would be a good spot for a discussion.

Right, back story of how I got this idea in my head. I was just at the local shops and was on my way back to the car, I only had three small bags of stuff and was just walking along carrying it in one hand. The shops have a rather steep ramp back up to the carpark which has two corners in it, this makes it a pain in the arse to push a fully loaded trolley as you lose all your momentum coming around the bends. I was walking along when I came across an older couple (lets say at a guess early seventies) walking up the ramp ahead of me, they had a fully loaded trolley which the husband was pushing by himself and while he wasn't struggling he certainly wasn't doing it easily either. I considered offering to either help/push it for him but then I stopped and had a thought.

"What if he takes me offer the wrong way and considers it me implying that he is old/weak and can now longer do things like this on his own"

Which brings me to my question, has political correctness pushed us to the point that people are no longer willing to selflessly help others for fear their actions may be misinterpreted??

I recently read an article that suggested that the reason alot of pregnant women are left standing on public transport while able bodied men sit is because a growing number of men are afraid that the woman may not be pregnant, but just a bit heavy and they don't want to potentially cause offence. I personally was brought up that I should never be seated while a lady is left standing, regardless of her age/weight/pregnancy status, others do (quite justifiably) have the opinion that they should not feel obliged to offer their seat to ALL women, just those who are pregnant or otherwise less than fully able bodied.

Opinions???

Not for me. If I see someone who looks like they need help and I can help and there's no one else available to help then I will help. Obviously if someone has an accident and six people are already gathered around with mobile phones I don't need to add to the conglomeration.

If someone wants to be rude to me for offering help then I'm perfectly capable of telling them to go **** themselves (politely and in French so it sounds almost seductive or at least cooking related).

As for offering seats on pubic transport when I'm unfortunate enough to have to catch it (usually ride a pushbike so I don't have to) - if I think someone needs a seat, I just stand up and move away. Most times the person will sit down - sometimes they thank you but no hooha, no fuss. On the odd ocassion someone much younger and abler has grabbed the seat while a 98 year old pregnant woman in a wheelchair with 8 full shopping bags is left standing but a quiet word in their ear and they are usually apologetic and stand up and out of the way too.

I'm young(ish) don't believe in karma (which doesn't really kick in till you're dead anyway) but just think the world might be slightly less crap if a few more people treated others with a modicum of respect and politeness from time to time.

 

[Bribie G]

Don't catch buses.

But you are right. Though there is often a difference between the city and the country people in many respects also. As a rule, city people are far more likely not to help. And if someone offers you help, city people look for trouble.

Do you have buses at Tuross Head? :unsure:

Just moved into a quiet cul de sac and there are young kids next door, got their beachball stuck up in a tree at the front of our place, and I was out front so helped them to get it out. No parental supervision of course, it was just like when I was a kid and we would be chucked out of the house a 8 and expected to be back at dusk. Great to see that's still happening in today's paranoid parent world. However......................what if............

"Mummy mummy that new man next door showed us his penis ... giggle giggle". So should I have helped them or asked them to fetch their parents out of the house instead?

"oy kids get your mum out I've got something to show her"


:lol:

 

[tcraig20]

I personally was brought up that I should never be seated while a lady is left standing, regardless of her age/weight/pregnancy status, others do (quite justifiably) have the opinion that they should not feel obliged to offer their seat to ALL women, just those who are pregnant or otherwise less than fully able bodied.

I used to be much the same - until some harlot screeched at me for having the audacity to call her a 'lady'. These days, I go out of my way to help those most likely to have values that will appreciate what Im trying to do (i.e. anyone over 60).

Im really not sure where we stand today - when women dont want to be treated differently to the point of serving in combat, why should you make exceptions for them?

Im reminded of the inscription on the Titanic womens memorial in Washington:

"To The Brave Men
Who Perished
In The Wreck
of The Titanic,
April 15, 1912.
They Gave Their
Lives That Women
and Children
Might Be Saved.

Erected By
The Women
Of America."

I wonder if today there are those who would screech at you for calling someone a lady on a sinking ship?

 

[stillscottish]

There's no way to overcome the ego and stubborn resistance to believing aging requires you to slow down somewhat, compared to when he was 27 years old. In his mind, he's the same bloke, and nothing's changed.

So hands up all you guys here who like to think or carry on like they're still 21.

What's that, most of you?

I rest my case. <_<

 

[Bribie G]

Yup someone once made a very telling remark about some nasty old Ogre of a woman - "The thing about horrible old people is that they were horrible young people"

 

[peas_and_corn]

On the odd ocassion someone much younger and abler has grabbed the seat while a 98 year old pregnant woman in a wheelchair with 8 full shopping bags is left standing but a quiet word in their ear and they are usually apologetic and stand up and out of the way too.

That person's already sitting!

 

[Leigh]

I recently read an article that suggested that the reason alot of pregnant women are left standing on public transport while able bodied men sit is because a growing number of men are afraid that the woman may not be pregnant, but just a bit heavy and they don't want to potentially cause offence. I personally was brought up that I should never be seated while a lady is left standing, regardless of her age/weight/pregnancy status, others do (quite justifiably) have the opinion that they should not feel obliged to offer their seat to ALL women, just those who are pregnant or otherwise less than fully able bodied.

Opinions???

As a daily train traveller, I've been caught in this trap several times, problems I've encountered:

• I have abused for offering a seat to a lady (I thought was pregnant) for calling her "fat";
• I have copped a slap for offering a pregnant lady a seat "I'm pregnant not crippled";
• when you stand to let them sit, other bastards dive in the seat first...

So I don't bother anymore


Sad, because it is not the way I was raised.

 

[Wolfy]

Treat everyone equally and you'll have no problems - if you think someone else needs some help or assistance no matter their age, sex, colour or status, offer it - there is nothing to be politically correct about that way.

Either offer to help/offer a seat to/offer assistance to anyone that you think needs it, if you are so inclined it will often make you feel good and you know you've done the right thing even if your offer is turned down.
Or go your own way and let everyone else cope for themselves ... your choice.

 

[Bribie G]

For those who came in late, SWMBO, who is a lot older than me (Cougar) had a stroke a few years ago that wiped the area of her hard drive where the dictionary is stored. (Aphasia) so she is 100% with understanding but can speak perfectly grammatical jabberwocky. Problem with Aphasic people is that they are totally convinced that they are speaking perfect English and if you can't understand "I want the bants of the bants and the one two three four of the little ones" then you are the stupid one :lol: However she manages very well as Aphasics have perfect pickup on body language etc and most people don't even know there's any problem when talking with them : "Hello, lovely to see you how are you?" (comes from a different sector of the hard drive developed about 2 million years ago)

Anyway today at Westfield I had to get something from Kmart and when I got back she was in a shop trying to order something, and the 2 gen Y girls there thought she was a hoot, treated her with wonderful respect and they were getting along like a house on fire. Totally restored my faith. Must be teaching them something in school nowadays, presumably. :icon_cheers:

 

[superdave]

I'm a youngin' and I refuse to sit while an older person is standing. For dot point three give them the seat first, then stand up so that time isn't wasted talking it over and for some dick to dive in and steal the seat.

As a daily train traveller, I've been caught in this trap several times, problems I've encountered:

• I have abused for offering a seat to a lady (I thought was pregnant) for calling her "fat";
• I have copped a slap for offering a pregnant lady a seat "I'm pregnant not crippled";
• when you stand to let them sit, other bastards dive in the seat first...

So I don't bother anymore


Sad, because it is not the way I was raised.

 

[manticle]

That person's already sitting!

Lucky because nonagenarians have worse birth cramps than younger women

@Leigh - what you are doing is letting rude people dictate what you do. Don't. Do what you think is right. If someone is rude, treat them as you would any rude person but don't treat other pregnant women etc with their rudeness.

It's easy-- stand up and move elsewhere. if some dickhead takes the seat instead, embarass them by saying slightly too loudly - 'oh excuse me I was actually offering the seat to that blind guy with one leg who looks like he's about 800 years old'.