Yikes! What could go wrong?capped with one of those hand held cappers you wack with a hammer.
A brew only a parent could love!!!I started in 1994 with a Wander home brew kit that Santa left me under the Christmas tree that year. I was a young father of three kids under three with a wife that wasn’t working and things were pretty tight at the time – I could afford a carton of beer every fortnight depending on what was on special at the time good old VB was the beverage of choice.
Please try not to cringe when reading this.....
I swear that kit had been sitting in a warehouse all year as what came out of the can was nothing short of the darkest lager that I have ever seen - sanitised everything using sodium metabisulfite and nearly killed myself by sticking my nose in the fermenter to have a smell - lol - seriously don't do this!
Hit it with 2 liters of unfiltered tap water straight out of the kettle and mixed in a kilo of Woolworths finest white sugar - topped it up straight out of the tap to the 23litre mark – Dunked the included plastic flask straight in the wort and took a gravity reading with the included hydrometer and tipped the sample back into the fermenter – no point wasting beer! I then tore open the yeast with my teeth and sprinkled on the included dry yeast and let that baby rip on the kitchen bench in the Townsville Christmas heat. Think 31 C – we didn’t have aircon in the house back then. Warm weather just meant it finished up way quicker and you didn’t have to wait around for two weeks like the guys down south!
I was stoked when it started bubbling about three hours later – I waited the whole seven days before taking a sample over the next three days – diligently returning the sample back into the fermenter after each reading by just unscrewing the lid and dumping it back in – apparently oxidisation wasn’t a thing then
Then came time to bottle I had saved up a bunch of VB stubbies that I diligently washed in some mystery pink powder that I got given from a mate who was an “experienced” homebrewer at work - after nearly passing out again from another lung full of sodium met I belted the caps on with a hammer after carefully measuring out the sugar and priming each bottle.
I then whacked them in the kitchen cupboard above the stove for 2 weeks before chilling my first couple down and opening them for the taste test – it must have been the worst beer I have ever made, but I was proud of it and even convinced my mates to have a go at it.
We all thought it was okay, then again we all used to drink VB as our preferred beverage of choice so that’s saying something.
I might add this started me into home brewing so I guess it's a good thing.
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