My great-grandmother was rocking around in those days and she still looked feminine and attractive (ballerina in her youth and later a fashion model). Where did they get those fugly ladies?
Beer? No - I think you need to head for the hard stuff - the pure Polish Spirit - the 80% ABV stuff... At least if the alcohol kills you then you wouldn't have to... um... try their cooking... yeah that's it... try their cooking.
Many apologies Katie, you could never ever look anything as "grim" as those ladies.
Besides, you are a brewer, and that immediately transcends you into the beautiful class.