The magician and the Parrot

[HBHB]

A magician worked on a cruise ship.

The audience was different each week so the magician did the same tricks over and over again.

There was only one problem: The captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the Magician did every trick.

Once he understood, he started shouting in the middle of the show, "Look, It’s not the same hat!" or, "Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table!” Or "Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?"

The magician was furious but couldn't do anything. It was, after all, the Captain's parrot.

Then one stormy night on the Pacific, the ship unfortunately sank, drowning almost all who were on board.
The magician luckily found himself on a piece of wood floating in the middle of the sea, as fate would have it ... with the parrot.

They stared at each other with hatred, but did not utter a word.

This went on for a day... And then 2 days. And then 3 days. Finally on the 4th day, the parrot could not hold back any longer and said....












"OK, I give up. Where's the fuckin' ship?"

 

[Doug the Drinker]

oh dear

 

[wide eyed and legless]

That same joke is in this thread,I don't know if this one is, but it is more likely the same parrot.

A burglar breaks into a house and is creeping around the lounge room when a voice says softly,'Jesus is watching you' the burglar freezes, all is quiet and again,'Jesus is watching you'. He shines the torch around the room and spots the parrot in the cage, the parrot says again, 'Jesus is watching you'. The burglar relaxes and says to the parrot, 'What's your name', the parrot replies, 'Moses'. The burglar chuckled and said, 'What sort of idiots name a parrot Moses'. The parrot replied, 'The same sort of idiots who name their Rottweiler Jesus'.

 

[Dave70]

He mister, says the kid - can you pull a rabbit out of a hat?
Bloke - no, but I can pull a hare out of my arse.

First joke I can remember, as told by my father.

 

[Crusty]

Ha ha.

 

[Crusty]

Mate says how you doin.
I said not too bad.
He says, you ok.
I said the wife left me a few days ago
He said, what happened.
I said, she went down town to get a carton of milk & never came back.
He said, how you coping
I said, not too bad, im using that powdered stuff.

 

[Crusty]

I was telling my mate that I went to the doctors the other day & he stuck his index finger up my butt. My mate says, thats a normal procedure. I said, dont you think I should change dentists.

 

[Crusty]

My mate said to me, have you ever looked at your wifes face when having sex. I said I did once but she had an angry look on her face. My mate said, why angry. I said, because she was watching from the window.

 

[Camo6]

I have a mate who is addicted to brake fluid. He's not worried though. Reckons he can stop at any time.

 

[simplefisherman]

Whats brown and sticky?







A stick.

 

[Blind Dog]

What do you call a 3 legged donkey?


A Wonkey