I've said it before and I'll say it again.
So many of the flavours you are after can be obtained without adding fruit/choc/anything you have in your pantry to you beer. I dont really get why (and this is more aimed at AG brewers) add so many additional flavours to their beers. Good choice of malts, hops and yeast and the possible flavours/aromas are near endless. (yes, i am wearing a full length flame suit, and am holding a fire extinguisher

h34r: )
Raisins are easy - Bairds Dark Crystal. And since you are a kit brewer that works well. Steep it.
The rum, or the alcohol warmth is part and parcel of higher ABV beers. (yes you could add an essence but why?)
Ok, so you want these flavours in a stout.
I'll throw a recipe idea at you.
Why not get all the colour, flavour and aroma you want in a stout from adding steeped grains, hops (and yeast other than the one that comes under the lid of your kit)?
Will require slightly more effort than a dump and stir job but the rewards are ten fold.
2 x Coopers Lager kits
1 x unhopped extract (1.5kg)
250g Bairds Dark Crystal
250g Bairds Roasted Barley
250g JW choc chit
25g Fuggles
S-04 yeast
Make it up to 23L
From distant memory each kit of Coopers Lager contributes 23 IBU per 23L, you have a total IBU of 46 IBU.
Steep the 3 malts, strain, rinse, then bring to the boil. Add Fuggles, boil 10 mins. IBU addition = a few.
Add everything else, top up to 23L. Pitch yeast.
OG 1.070 so you are in big stout territory ~ 6.8% abv. If that level of ABV is too much, drop the unhopped extract.
Nice and easy.
You can get the ingredients other than the cans of extract from one of the site sponsors, the rest from your local HBS.
Cheers
DrSmurto