O
olly4891
Guest
Not sure how many of you will be familar with this establishment or not...Most West Auzzies should have a fair idea, unsure about the rest???
Nonetheless, I tried a couple of their pies this morning and was utterly disappointed. Sorry, to be venting on the forum like this, but just thought I would share with you all the following rant I emailed to their comments page:
Dear Jesters,
I do really hope you take constructive criticism as seriously as you apparently take your pies. If not, tough, I'm going to criticise you anyway.
I recently had an 'experience' with your Armadale store, and I have to say, I wont be going back. Its nothing to do with staff, the venue, location or even the area...but your pies. They are terrible.
I tried the 'Pavarotti'. Chicken, bacon, mushroom and creamy Carbonara sauce. Firstly, I only had to engage my mandible on two occasions to actually chew a piece of chicken, the remaining piece's (or flecks) of chicken where so small they may as well not have been there. I don't recall consuming anything resembling bacon. On the plus side, a few bits of mushroom were there... but the most overwhelming part of the entire thing, was this strange white, snot consistency type of thing that I assume you call, Carbonara sauce.
It reminded me of something my dog would cough up after drinking too much water, and probably tastes about the same. Why was there so much of this shit in your pie? It's ******* horrible! What happened to the chicken and bacon? Does this sauce go into autocatalytic synthesis and consume other proteins? That would perhaps explain the lack of other meat based products in this pie, as I can see no good reason why anyone would want to pay good money, for a pastry filled with clag (you know, that cheap white glue that we used as kids at school...came in a white bottle with a red lid and a little brush...we all licked it at least once - well, your Pavarotti tastes the same).
Now, you may think this is a little bit of an unfair criticism, considering I am attacking you based only on trying one of your pies. However, I thought about this, and decided that perhaps I got a dodgy pie, a one off bad batch. Maybe, the chef was out to lunch and his apprentice made this lot up and was smoking too many doobies before calculating the chicken and bacon to gloop ratio. So, I decided to try another of your pies, just to give you the benefit of the doubt.
**** me, was that a bad idea!
Chef's Special - The Hunter...Apparently has Venison, and other vegetable goodies. Seemed to me, the chef just ate one of his own Pavarotti's, realised how bad it was, regurgitated the contents of his stomach shortly after, put a lid on it and called it The Hunter. Its got small pieces of chopped up vege's with bits of meat around it that seriously looks like vomit. SERIOUSLY!!! Have a closer look next time you bite into one. Note the bits of what I can only assume is corn, potato and other unidentifiable chucks of crap in there, surrounded by more of this gloopy, clag snot stuff, this time in diarrhoea-brown colour.
What is going on in your head kitchen? Who is the creator of these things? Who let's your chef add tonnes of gelatine to your pies to bulk out the sauce...
Just so as not to seem totally negative about the whole thing, I would like to offer you a couple of friendly suggestions that may help improve the contents of your pies.
Firstly, shoot your head chef.
Second, throw out all the gelatine that you can find in your kitchen.
Third, stop chopping all your ingredients into such small pieces. Meat & vege's. Particularly the meat. Aussie's are meat lovers. They enjoy sinking their teeth into big steaks, lamb chops, fried bacon. Not nibbling on bite sized morsels of unidentifiable chewy things.
Four, pies don't need sauces. Good ingredients in the first place will give you good gravy's. Stop bulking out the pies with whatever that sauce shit is...put more meat in it instead.
Hopefully, this gives you something to work on.
For the time being, I'll be at Brumby's getting my pies from there. Which, conveniently, is only a 30 second stroll from your store.
Warmest regards,
Olly
Nonetheless, I tried a couple of their pies this morning and was utterly disappointed. Sorry, to be venting on the forum like this, but just thought I would share with you all the following rant I emailed to their comments page:
Dear Jesters,
I do really hope you take constructive criticism as seriously as you apparently take your pies. If not, tough, I'm going to criticise you anyway.
I recently had an 'experience' with your Armadale store, and I have to say, I wont be going back. Its nothing to do with staff, the venue, location or even the area...but your pies. They are terrible.
I tried the 'Pavarotti'. Chicken, bacon, mushroom and creamy Carbonara sauce. Firstly, I only had to engage my mandible on two occasions to actually chew a piece of chicken, the remaining piece's (or flecks) of chicken where so small they may as well not have been there. I don't recall consuming anything resembling bacon. On the plus side, a few bits of mushroom were there... but the most overwhelming part of the entire thing, was this strange white, snot consistency type of thing that I assume you call, Carbonara sauce.
It reminded me of something my dog would cough up after drinking too much water, and probably tastes about the same. Why was there so much of this shit in your pie? It's ******* horrible! What happened to the chicken and bacon? Does this sauce go into autocatalytic synthesis and consume other proteins? That would perhaps explain the lack of other meat based products in this pie, as I can see no good reason why anyone would want to pay good money, for a pastry filled with clag (you know, that cheap white glue that we used as kids at school...came in a white bottle with a red lid and a little brush...we all licked it at least once - well, your Pavarotti tastes the same).
Now, you may think this is a little bit of an unfair criticism, considering I am attacking you based only on trying one of your pies. However, I thought about this, and decided that perhaps I got a dodgy pie, a one off bad batch. Maybe, the chef was out to lunch and his apprentice made this lot up and was smoking too many doobies before calculating the chicken and bacon to gloop ratio. So, I decided to try another of your pies, just to give you the benefit of the doubt.
**** me, was that a bad idea!
Chef's Special - The Hunter...Apparently has Venison, and other vegetable goodies. Seemed to me, the chef just ate one of his own Pavarotti's, realised how bad it was, regurgitated the contents of his stomach shortly after, put a lid on it and called it The Hunter. Its got small pieces of chopped up vege's with bits of meat around it that seriously looks like vomit. SERIOUSLY!!! Have a closer look next time you bite into one. Note the bits of what I can only assume is corn, potato and other unidentifiable chucks of crap in there, surrounded by more of this gloopy, clag snot stuff, this time in diarrhoea-brown colour.
What is going on in your head kitchen? Who is the creator of these things? Who let's your chef add tonnes of gelatine to your pies to bulk out the sauce...
Just so as not to seem totally negative about the whole thing, I would like to offer you a couple of friendly suggestions that may help improve the contents of your pies.
Firstly, shoot your head chef.
Second, throw out all the gelatine that you can find in your kitchen.
Third, stop chopping all your ingredients into such small pieces. Meat & vege's. Particularly the meat. Aussie's are meat lovers. They enjoy sinking their teeth into big steaks, lamb chops, fried bacon. Not nibbling on bite sized morsels of unidentifiable chewy things.
Four, pies don't need sauces. Good ingredients in the first place will give you good gravy's. Stop bulking out the pies with whatever that sauce shit is...put more meat in it instead.
Hopefully, this gives you something to work on.
For the time being, I'll be at Brumby's getting my pies from there. Which, conveniently, is only a 30 second stroll from your store.
Warmest regards,
Olly
