Hospital

[DU99]

I woke up swathed in bandages, in a hospital ICU, tubes entering different parts of my body, wires monitoring every function, a gorgeous nurse hovering over me.

It was obvious I'd been in a serious accident.

I heard her say, 'You may not feel anything from the waist down.'

I managed to mumble in reply, 'Can I feel your tits, then?'

 

[Cocko]

Did you? Were they squishy?

 

[DU99]

( . ) ( . )

 

[Ducatiboy stu]

Are my testicles black

 

[wide eyed and legless]

Are my testicles black

Cracking joke that, Iv'e tried telling it to nurses and most of them have heard it.

 

[Bridges]

Just for people like me who hadn't heard it...

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath.
“Nurse,”‘ he mumbles from behind the mask, “are my testicles black?”
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, “I don’t know, Sir. I’m only here to wash your upper body and feet.”
He struggles to ask again, “Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?”
Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles in the other.
She looks very closely and says, “There’s nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine.”
The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly, “Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very closely: Are – my – test – results – back?”

 

[Toper]

How do you tell who's the Head nurse in a hospital ? Dirty knees

 

[wide eyed and legless]

When I have my prostate checked I always ask the doctor to put 2 fingers up, just in case there's a need for a second opinion.