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Looks like this is turning into my own private collection - fifth post in a row :unsure: Anyway, just in case anyone else besides me ever reads here, here's the best off-topic post I reckon I've seen...

Norsman who is from Canada had a lot of trouble shoving raspberries into his fermenter of blonde beer.

Here is InCider's reply...

Norsman,

There is a pretty, cute girl in Satkatchewan called Jemma. She's curvy and hot.

If she's now your wife, I slept with her and can vouch for her mash paddle prowess.

She's a snowboarder I met in Thredbo over a season or two.

Say hi for me.

She once told me that it is so flat there that you can watch your dog running away for three days.

Sean.
 
Yeah I know Jemma... or Jeremy as he used to be called. We used to be friends, but I stoped hanging out with him after he got that sex change operation. ;)

And yes, you can see your dog run away for 3 days.

Just to prove that you're not the only one here, PP, I liked Norsman's reply to InCider's post. :super:
 
Ah Stuster - you're the best! I'm taking a little break from AHB until work settles down (and I settle down ;)). Take good care of the poolroom mate!
 
Durring the heated discussions on 'Bulk Hop Buy', some may remember.
I posted (with the right timing ) a 'thread on ' FREE HOPS' ....................just to see who would look !
:p
 
I just use the dodgy bathroom scales. I weigh myself before, write down my weight and then go downstairs, grab the malt, which I have put into a bucket, half full by eye, maybe have a drink or something to eat, go back upstairs and stand on the scales with the bucket balanced on my head (so I dont throw of the balance). I then write down my new weight and subtract the old weight from this, this gives me the weight of the grain. I repeat this process 5 or 6 times till I get the required quantity.
I have found this method much better than my previous one. I only had envelope scales that measured upto 50g, so I would weigh out 50g of malt, then spread it all out on some graph paper so that no grains were stacked (so the thickness was 1 grain thick) and count the number of squares that 50g of malt took up. Once I knew the area that 50g took up I could multiply out by my required quantity. I found that my driveway was the only area large enough to spread out my 5kg of grain spread to 1 grain thickness, so on it I marked out a 5cm grid (3g accuracy!). It was then a matter of spreading out the malt until enough squares in the grid were filled. It was quite a simple method but I had to find another way because a flock of cockies started hanging out in the trees near the house and would descend on the spread out grain while I was carefully eyeing along the ground to make sure the layer was only one grain thick. So I started doing it at night, but the cockies still came but they couldnt see in the dark, so now Im missing the top of my left ear and my right thumb.

Definitely another one for the pool room. :lol: :super:
 
QUOTE(xknifepointx @ May 25 2007, 07:32 PM)

how do I do this? I've read plenty of Toucan threads, but what I want is simple instructions, I'm finding it a little overwelming with all the boiling, brewing, racking and other terminology on the site and I think I'm just a little over my head even after reading all the FAQs.

I am after recipes like:

pour 2 litres of hot water into fermenter
pour 1kg dextose into hot water
pour contents of can into fermenter and stir

sprinkle yeast and close lid.
see? if I start off THAT easy I surely can't stuff it up, you'd think!


Have you tried this fourm? http://www.grumpys.com.au/

I think you already have your recipe,you wrote it !

Now go away <_<

Batz

ROFLMAO!
 
QUOTE(LovesToBrew @ Jul 26 2007, 11:52 PM) *

i tend to use the frozen chicken method. I get a frozen chicken still in it's vacuum seal bag, then put it inside another water tight bag (very important as raw chicken juice will give you food poisoning), and put it inside the fermenter. I find anything over a size 14 chicken is hard to get through the opening on the top. If you need to warm your wort, cook the chicken first smile.gif
 
i actually like readin those ones about sex and how these teen boy start talking about how heart broken they are form their *puppy* love
 
From Incider,

"Bump"

Not very funny by itself, but when you consider that it was post #749, on pg50 of the 2007 QLD Case swap, you just gotta laugh.

Link
 
Check out Browndog and Bonj's posts. They are discussing who posted first. Ross tells 'em who's on second.

Mr Maclinky
 
Looks like my first entry into the hall of shame :p
 
i laughed so hard at this thread, so i thought that it needed a bit of a bump.
here is a post that i actually missed the first time, then when i went back to it, i realised what it said.

I couldnt help think of you today Z-man... and no i wasnt interfering with myself in the shower... <_<

[body of post]

Sqyre... :D
 
i laughed so hard at this thread, so i thought that it needed a bit of a bump.
here is a post that i actually missed the first time, then when i went back to it, i realised what it said.

I told Sqyre to have cold showers instead of gold showers.


Baa where I started from :p
 
I told Sqyre to have cold showers instead of gold showers.


Baa where I started from :p
wow i hope i can get to the QLD case swap this year, you guys sound like the funniest buggers.
 
We have all seen this one before but I think it needs trotting out now and again>

Alternative to a false bottom /manifold or bazooka .

I have been thinking about manifolds and I reckon I have come up with a revolutionary simple idea that will offer a simple low cost alternative for the need for manifolds , bazookas and false bottoms for mashing .!!!

I was driving to the asylum the other week and noticed those grey stones in wire baskets by the sides of the roads used for retaining walls.

So I thought if I used about 2kg of 2mm coarse gravel .
boil the gravel for a few minutes to sterilize and places in a nylon mesh bags.
Place the hot gravel filled nylon mesh bag in the bottom of the tun before placing the mash on top .

Mash as normal you may find the hot gravel base will help keep the mash warm,
When it comes to draining off the sweet wort the gravel bed will offer a nice even lauteur & sparge as there should be no channeling .and maybe no stuck sparges .

After wards there is a need to rinses the gravel of the remaining mash husks. I think they will separate easily .

I have not tested this idea but I will this weekend mash and report back any comments if Gravel is used in filtration systems .

Do you think this may be feasible idea ????

Your comment please .

Pumpy

Nylon bags in the mash, this post must have been the embryo for BIAB!!
Cheers
Chris
 
We have all seen this one before but I think it needs trotting out now and again>



Nylon bags in the mash, this post must have been the embryo for BIAB!!
Cheers
Chris


How can people be so unkind !( Quote Kamal)

People were starting to forget I posted that, and beginning to take me seriously . :huh:

Now look what you done TC


Pumpy :(
 
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