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Fda Clamps Down On Beer Labelling

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sosman

beerling
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The power of beer

Due to increasing products liability litigation, American beer brewers have accepted the FDAs suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all beer containers:

01. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra.


02. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.


03. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.


04. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.


05. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.


06. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.


07. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.


08. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your ass kicked.


09. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary.


10. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.


11. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.


12. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.


13. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.


14. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.

Goto blog for the illustrated version.
 

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