Backlane Brewery
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A dumbass AND a lardass...
Dumbasses (safe For Work)
- Thread starter Doc
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Just plain dumbass action.
Jedi fans petrol inferno
By JOHN TROUP and ANDY RUDD
TWO Star Wars fans suffered horrific burns in a mock battle with home-made lightsabers filled with PETROL.
Shelley Mandiville, 17, and Mark Webb, 20, made the weapons with fluorescent light tubes.
They filled them with fuel and washing-up liquid to act out a Jedi Knight fight scene from new movie Revenge Of The Sith.
They lit the liquid to illuminate the makeshift toys.
But it exploded covering them both in the burning mixture. Firefighters discovered Shelly and Mark with serious burns after being called to woodland near Hemel Hempstead, Herts, on Sunday
Police were studying a video camera found at the scene. It was thought that a third person was taping the duel who fled in terror when the disaster happened.
A local who visited the scene said: You could see two fluorescent light tubes on the ground next to a badly burned area of ground.
Police said the plan was probably to film what happened and submit it to one of these Jackass-style TV shows or put it on the internet.
Police were waiting to interview Shelley and Mark, who were both in a critical condition in hospital last night.
Jedi fans petrol inferno
By JOHN TROUP and ANDY RUDD
TWO Star Wars fans suffered horrific burns in a mock battle with home-made lightsabers filled with PETROL.
Shelley Mandiville, 17, and Mark Webb, 20, made the weapons with fluorescent light tubes.
They filled them with fuel and washing-up liquid to act out a Jedi Knight fight scene from new movie Revenge Of The Sith.
They lit the liquid to illuminate the makeshift toys.
But it exploded covering them both in the burning mixture. Firefighters discovered Shelly and Mark with serious burns after being called to woodland near Hemel Hempstead, Herts, on Sunday
Police were studying a video camera found at the scene. It was thought that a third person was taping the duel who fled in terror when the disaster happened.
A local who visited the scene said: You could see two fluorescent light tubes on the ground next to a badly burned area of ground.
Police said the plan was probably to film what happened and submit it to one of these Jackass-style TV shows or put it on the internet.
Police were waiting to interview Shelley and Mark, who were both in a critical condition in hospital last night.
Remember they guy in Oz that got DUI on his horse. This guy does it on his lawn mower :lol:
Beers,
Doc
One Bourbon, One Lawn Mower, And 12 Beers
Sloshed Virginia man busted driving his Turf Trac to 7-Eleven
JUNE 10--Meet Jerry Hawkins. The 43-year-old Virginia man is facing a drunk driving rap after blowing a whopping .32 on a police Breathalyzer test. While that's nothing special, as noted in the below Culpeper Police Department report, Hawkins was pulled over as he tooled down Main Street astride a red riding mower. Hawkins, who reeked of booze, explained to cops that he was headed to the 7-Eleven for gasoline.
Beers,
Doc
One Bourbon, One Lawn Mower, And 12 Beers
Sloshed Virginia man busted driving his Turf Trac to 7-Eleven
JUNE 10--Meet Jerry Hawkins. The 43-year-old Virginia man is facing a drunk driving rap after blowing a whopping .32 on a police Breathalyzer test. While that's nothing special, as noted in the below Culpeper Police Department report, Hawkins was pulled over as he tooled down Main Street astride a red riding mower. Hawkins, who reeked of booze, explained to cops that he was headed to the 7-Eleven for gasoline.
Duff
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Dumbass.
Doc
Too Drunk to Find Your Car? Just Ask The Cops
London - Picture the scene: after some heavy drinking, John Nicholas-Latch is too befuddled to find his car. Then, an idea comes - flag down the police and ask them to help find it.
The 61-year-old Briton was banned for driving for two years on Friday after a court in Kings Lynn, eastern England, heard that he did indeed stop police and ask them for assistance, ignoring their entreaties not to drive.
Nicholas-Latch, who admitted drink driving on July 1, was also ordered to undertake community service and pay legal costs.
The court heard that he had almost three times the legal limit of alcohol in his blood when he was stopped while driving.
Doc
Too Drunk to Find Your Car? Just Ask The Cops
London - Picture the scene: after some heavy drinking, John Nicholas-Latch is too befuddled to find his car. Then, an idea comes - flag down the police and ask them to help find it.
The 61-year-old Briton was banned for driving for two years on Friday after a court in Kings Lynn, eastern England, heard that he did indeed stop police and ask them for assistance, ignoring their entreaties not to drive.
Nicholas-Latch, who admitted drink driving on July 1, was also ordered to undertake community service and pay legal costs.
The court heard that he had almost three times the legal limit of alcohol in his blood when he was stopped while driving.
And the dumbass of the day goes to ...... Eriko Kawaguchi
Doc
Woman complains to cops after hitman she hired fails to get the job done
A woman who hired a hitman to murder the wife of her lover, and then complained to police when he didn't do the job, has been arrested along with the hitman, police said.
The murderous intentions of Eriko Kawaguchi, a Tokyo Fire Fighting Department employee, came to light after she complained to police because the hitman didn't carry out the job, although she paid him about 15 million yen.
"I came to know that the wife gave birth and then I felt betrayed (by the lover)," officers quoted Kawaguchi, 32, as saying about her motive for hiring the hitman.
Kawaguchi, from the Tokyo suburb of Tama, phoned Takaharu Tabe, 40, from Kunitachi, after she read Tabe's web page on the Internet in November last year, police said.
In January this year, Kawaguchi met Tabe in Tachikawa, requesting that he murder the wife of her lover.
In due course she paid him a total of some 15 million yen for the murder and the costs of tailing and keeping watch on the target.
Tabe offered to murder the target by taking her on a motorbike into a tunnel and pouring poisonous bacteria over her.
Tabe then showed photos of the home and working place of the woman to Kawaguchi.
He even gave white powder to Kawaguchi and said he used it to murder the 32-year-old target.
But the wife of Kawaguchi's lover was never attacked and recently gave birth.
Six months later, Kawaguchi then went to the Tama Chuo Police Station and made a complaint, police said. Officers are grilling Tabe about the possibility of other murder contracts. (Mainichi)
Doc
Woman complains to cops after hitman she hired fails to get the job done
A woman who hired a hitman to murder the wife of her lover, and then complained to police when he didn't do the job, has been arrested along with the hitman, police said.
The murderous intentions of Eriko Kawaguchi, a Tokyo Fire Fighting Department employee, came to light after she complained to police because the hitman didn't carry out the job, although she paid him about 15 million yen.
"I came to know that the wife gave birth and then I felt betrayed (by the lover)," officers quoted Kawaguchi, 32, as saying about her motive for hiring the hitman.
Kawaguchi, from the Tokyo suburb of Tama, phoned Takaharu Tabe, 40, from Kunitachi, after she read Tabe's web page on the Internet in November last year, police said.
In January this year, Kawaguchi met Tabe in Tachikawa, requesting that he murder the wife of her lover.
In due course she paid him a total of some 15 million yen for the murder and the costs of tailing and keeping watch on the target.
Tabe offered to murder the target by taking her on a motorbike into a tunnel and pouring poisonous bacteria over her.
Tabe then showed photos of the home and working place of the woman to Kawaguchi.
He even gave white powder to Kawaguchi and said he used it to murder the 32-year-old target.
But the wife of Kawaguchi's lover was never attacked and recently gave birth.
Six months later, Kawaguchi then went to the Tama Chuo Police Station and made a complaint, police said. Officers are grilling Tabe about the possibility of other murder contracts. (Mainichi)
DUMBASS
Argument Over Beer, Spaghetti Leads To AK-47 Shooting
ORLANDO, Fla. -- An Orange County man is in jail, accused of trying to shoot his roommate with an AK-47. Their fight started after an argument over a beer and a plate of spaghetti.
Investigators say David Fung-Cap just wanted a beer.
Police display the AK-47 used in the shooting.
"A beer. A beer. You know what, he was like, you didn't get me my beer. I was like, what are you talking about?" explained roommate Terah Mills.
Mills wanted some of Fung-Cap's spaghetti, and when neither would help the other, things got ugly. Fung-Cap went for his AK-47 and opened fire.
"Four times he shot at me. If it's my time to go, it's my time to go," Mills said.
Mills told Channel 9 he managed to wrestle the assault weapon away from his crazed roommate and left the apartment to get help from sheriff's deputies, who were already arriving. But then Mills accidentally fired another shot. The deputies thought he was aiming at them.
No one can explain how, out of the five high-powered rounds fired in a densely populated apartment complex, not one person was hurt.
"I want my grandparents and parents to know that I love them and I would like a shirt and a cigarette and some shoes please," Fung-Cap said while being taken into custody.
Investigators determined Mills was the victim. Now he'll keep the apartment, the beer and the food and, in the future, he said, he'll choose his roommates more carefully.
"This guy's 25 years old. He's a grown man, just like me," Mills said.
Deputies said there was nothing illegal about the AK-47, except for the fact that it was fired. Now it's the property of the Orange County Sheriff's Office.
Argument Over Beer, Spaghetti Leads To AK-47 Shooting
ORLANDO, Fla. -- An Orange County man is in jail, accused of trying to shoot his roommate with an AK-47. Their fight started after an argument over a beer and a plate of spaghetti.
Investigators say David Fung-Cap just wanted a beer.
Police display the AK-47 used in the shooting.
"A beer. A beer. You know what, he was like, you didn't get me my beer. I was like, what are you talking about?" explained roommate Terah Mills.
Mills wanted some of Fung-Cap's spaghetti, and when neither would help the other, things got ugly. Fung-Cap went for his AK-47 and opened fire.
"Four times he shot at me. If it's my time to go, it's my time to go," Mills said.
Mills told Channel 9 he managed to wrestle the assault weapon away from his crazed roommate and left the apartment to get help from sheriff's deputies, who were already arriving. But then Mills accidentally fired another shot. The deputies thought he was aiming at them.
No one can explain how, out of the five high-powered rounds fired in a densely populated apartment complex, not one person was hurt.
"I want my grandparents and parents to know that I love them and I would like a shirt and a cigarette and some shoes please," Fung-Cap said while being taken into custody.
Investigators determined Mills was the victim. Now he'll keep the apartment, the beer and the food and, in the future, he said, he'll choose his roommates more carefully.
"This guy's 25 years old. He's a grown man, just like me," Mills said.
Deputies said there was nothing illegal about the AK-47, except for the fact that it was fired. Now it's the property of the Orange County Sheriff's Office.
Kramer
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Dumb Cop:
From Here
VICTORIAN police will issue a parking ticket to a speed camera operator who allegedly broke the law while booking speeding motorists.
Police Chief Commissioner Christine Nixon today confirmed a Tenix Solutions camera operator would be booked after allegedly parking his camera car illegally for several hours in a suburban bus stop.
"We will in fact issue a parking ticket with the operator and he will be dealt with by his own organisation," Commissioner Nixon said today.
"I think he made an inappropriate decision, and some of us do on occasions."
Commissioner Nixon said speed cameras were used appropriately and properly "for the vast majority of times" but when mistakes were made they were admitted.
She seized on the case to reiterate a public service message, urging motorists to refrain from speeding over the holiday period.
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"As we get close to Christmas, people should remember not to drink and drive, not to speed and if you are going to travel long distances, don't get fatigued," she said.
Victoria's road toll stands at 318, one fewer than at the same time last year, Commissioner Nixon said.
"We're actually one under last year's total and we are doing better than we were earlier in the year.
"We'd like to see people make it back to Christmas, make it back to their lives and jobs after it and be safe on the roads."
Transport Minister Peter Batchelor said camera operators had to obey the law themselves and the Tenix Solutions operator had made a "bad choice".
The incident is the latest in a series of embarrassing setbacks for the state's speed camera system.
Last month, a Tenix Solutions camera operator who wrongly booked 41 Melbourne motorists for speeding was sacked after he mistakenly set his speed camera to 70km/h in an 80kmh zone on a suburban road in Melbourne's north-west.
In August, more than 100 drivers had fines refunded after they were caught on an incorrectly set speed camera on the Hume Highway at Somerton, in Melbourne's north.
From Here
VICTORIAN police will issue a parking ticket to a speed camera operator who allegedly broke the law while booking speeding motorists.
Police Chief Commissioner Christine Nixon today confirmed a Tenix Solutions camera operator would be booked after allegedly parking his camera car illegally for several hours in a suburban bus stop.
"We will in fact issue a parking ticket with the operator and he will be dealt with by his own organisation," Commissioner Nixon said today.
"I think he made an inappropriate decision, and some of us do on occasions."
Commissioner Nixon said speed cameras were used appropriately and properly "for the vast majority of times" but when mistakes were made they were admitted.
She seized on the case to reiterate a public service message, urging motorists to refrain from speeding over the holiday period.
Advertisement:
"As we get close to Christmas, people should remember not to drink and drive, not to speed and if you are going to travel long distances, don't get fatigued," she said.
Victoria's road toll stands at 318, one fewer than at the same time last year, Commissioner Nixon said.
"We're actually one under last year's total and we are doing better than we were earlier in the year.
"We'd like to see people make it back to Christmas, make it back to their lives and jobs after it and be safe on the roads."
Transport Minister Peter Batchelor said camera operators had to obey the law themselves and the Tenix Solutions operator had made a "bad choice".
The incident is the latest in a series of embarrassing setbacks for the state's speed camera system.
Last month, a Tenix Solutions camera operator who wrongly booked 41 Melbourne motorists for speeding was sacked after he mistakenly set his speed camera to 70km/h in an 80kmh zone on a suburban road in Melbourne's north-west.
In August, more than 100 drivers had fines refunded after they were caught on an incorrectly set speed camera on the Hume Highway at Somerton, in Melbourne's north.
Samwise Gamgee
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nothing illegal about an AK-47 :blink: :huh:
h34r:H.S. Senior Arrested On Campus With Beer, Weapons
POSTED: 9:06 am MST December 6, 2005
ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. -- A Cibola High School senior was arrested Monday while he was trying to get onto campus with a load of weapons and beer.
Albuquerque police told Action 7 News that a security guard tried to stop the teenager as he attempted to drive into the junior parking lot.
The teenager became aggresive, police said, and the security guard called city police for backup.
When officers searched the student's car they said they found two 12-gauge shotguns, a knife and three cases of beer.
School officials said the student is now on a 10-day suspension pending an expulsion hearing.
The student's name has not been made public. Charges are pending in the case
POSTED: 9:06 am MST December 6, 2005
ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. -- A Cibola High School senior was arrested Monday while he was trying to get onto campus with a load of weapons and beer.
Albuquerque police told Action 7 News that a security guard tried to stop the teenager as he attempted to drive into the junior parking lot.
The teenager became aggresive, police said, and the security guard called city police for backup.
When officers searched the student's car they said they found two 12-gauge shotguns, a knife and three cases of beer.
School officials said the student is now on a 10-day suspension pending an expulsion hearing.
The student's name has not been made public. Charges are pending in the case
Samwise Gamgee
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Thank god they suspended him while they try to decide whether to expel him :blink:
Drunk Russian Paratrooper Breaks 24 Bottles Over His Head and Falls Asleep
At his birthday party, a paratrooper from St. Petersburg, fresh home from his 2 years of military service, broke 24 bottles against his head before sinking to the floor in a drunken stupor.
The young man had served in the Russian Air Force, considered the army elite, the Moskovsky Komsomolets daily said Wednesday. He was having a birthday party with friends, when one of the guests asked whether he thought he could break a brick over his head.
The young man, annoyed by the doubt thrown on his abilities, made a bet for a box of vodka that he could, before setting off to look for a brick. However, finding no there were bricks in his apartment, he went for the next best thing empty beer bottles.
He was breaking the 24th bottle, much to the delight of the guests, when he suddenly fell to the floor unconscious. The guests, afraid that he had killed himself, left the apartment, leaving the unconscious paratrooper on the floor where he was discovered the next morning by his parents.
The parents took the young man to hospital, where doctors said he was deep in a drunken sleep. Apart from alcoholic intoxication, the doctors found a number of bruises to the head and a concussion.
When the man regained consciousness, he refused to stay in hospital for further treatment and left as soon as he could.
At his birthday party, a paratrooper from St. Petersburg, fresh home from his 2 years of military service, broke 24 bottles against his head before sinking to the floor in a drunken stupor.
The young man had served in the Russian Air Force, considered the army elite, the Moskovsky Komsomolets daily said Wednesday. He was having a birthday party with friends, when one of the guests asked whether he thought he could break a brick over his head.
The young man, annoyed by the doubt thrown on his abilities, made a bet for a box of vodka that he could, before setting off to look for a brick. However, finding no there were bricks in his apartment, he went for the next best thing empty beer bottles.
He was breaking the 24th bottle, much to the delight of the guests, when he suddenly fell to the floor unconscious. The guests, afraid that he had killed himself, left the apartment, leaving the unconscious paratrooper on the floor where he was discovered the next morning by his parents.
The parents took the young man to hospital, where doctors said he was deep in a drunken sleep. Apart from alcoholic intoxication, the doctors found a number of bruises to the head and a concussion.
When the man regained consciousness, he refused to stay in hospital for further treatment and left as soon as he could.
Piste
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Years ago while on call as a negotiator I was called to an incident in Pentridge, a villain decided to hold a knife to his throat and wouldn't let anyone in the cell.
I talked with him and persuaded him to throw out the knife, he was about to then suddenly in a fit of activity he grabbed all his cell furniture and wedged it between the cell door and the wall, he then threw out the knife and invited the uniformed officers to try to get him now.
The Officers then unlocked the cell door which opened outwards......................
Another one from a few years ago I heard on the news, probably not stupidity but funny.
A man stopped his car at a red traffic light, it was a warm day and the windows were down, passing villain ran up, reached in the passenger side window and ran off with a cloth bag on the front seat.
Police are appealling to the thief not to open the bag that belonged to the snake catcher on his way back from a job.
I talked with him and persuaded him to throw out the knife, he was about to then suddenly in a fit of activity he grabbed all his cell furniture and wedged it between the cell door and the wall, he then threw out the knife and invited the uniformed officers to try to get him now.
The Officers then unlocked the cell door which opened outwards......................
Another one from a few years ago I heard on the news, probably not stupidity but funny.
A man stopped his car at a red traffic light, it was a warm day and the windows were down, passing villain ran up, reached in the passenger side window and ran off with a cloth bag on the front seat.
Police are appealling to the thief not to open the bag that belonged to the snake catcher on his way back from a job.
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